Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello everyone, Good stuff: have not bitten anyone's head off yet, am happy, am sleeping, am eating, am getting A's, my moostiff is amazing, my priorities due to limited time are showing themselves to me every day, manage to get MIP to at least read more often than i thought Not so good stuff: am grouc...

AlaMom · AlaMom

This program offers no promises of serenity unless we are willing to do the legwork to help ourselves. By putting the focus on ourselves and our needs we begin to find peace and serenity within our lives. We gain confidence in our abilities and learn to believe we are worthy of good things in our lives...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

For the first time I think my alcoholic fiance might have hit a low point. I had to send him away Sunday night and he woke up on the floor of his mid-renovation house. Missed work for the first time that I know of. Also for the first time, he apologized for his drinking, agreed it was not healthy for my fam...

Lizz · Lizz

I really dont know what the hell is wrong with me. My ABF and I split up about 3 months ago. The relationship had started to become violent and he had hit me on 3 separate occasions. The first time this happened we had argued over his x girlfriend and he was smashed and was very remorseful, we separated f...

Bettina · Bettina

For those of you who might be interested, this topic has to do with Parental Abduction, which 200,000. children are abducted by one of their parents in this country every year. As you have heard me mention from time to time. This happened to me way back in 1974 when my daughter was 6. Didnt find her unti...

Ginger90 · Ginger90

my will. I am trying very hard to let go with my 18yo daughter, but it is a daily struggle. I just invited her to attend a show with her brother and I and she gladly accepted but my crazy mind can't just leave it at that. Now I am trying to figure out how to make/help her see that she wants to be at home with us, n...

kerry5 · kerry5

Grateful on this thanksgiving weekend to be aware, . I do know the phrase : you'll discover that though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way - the same way we already love you. . Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one a...

member922 · member922

Hi. I was very excited to find this board as a friend had advised me of the alanon program. My issues are with my current bf. I have been with him almost 2 yrs and actually got divorced because of him (a good thing though, I wasn't happy). The first yr I was with him, I wasn't with him much at all because I wa...

kath · kath

Today was most certainly a chance to practice even more because I have had contact with my AH today. Please help me with something. I am experiencing great sadness. After seeing him act out all the behaviors of an A, I know it is true that he has a problem. It just feels like someone just called and told me h...

applecake · applecake

I'll try to make this to the point: money is T-I-G-H-T lately. Like, no wiggle room to begin with, and then we had a big car repair and now there's *really* no room. So about a week ago, AH & I sat down and figured out how much we had, to make it to this friday. It was less than $100. A week + 2 days, less t...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi Everyone, I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, and how they handled it. I've been in recovery and working my program for a little over a year. I have a friend who I've known since 3rd grade (I'm 37 yrs old), and we've been close for all of these years. I have found that, since I've been...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I've not been feeling so depressed lately. Not happy mind you, although there have been some snippets of happy time here and there. But the absence of pain and depression is a blessing itself. I still feel frustrated at my recovery not speeding up (I know there's nothing I can do about it though, just...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi all, I'm not trying to be a wiseguy, just genuinely wondering as I am new to Al Anon. Is the idea that I'm supposed to not care if my wife has been drinking? Meaning should I not be trying to find out if she has? She just got back from grocery shopping, and she was in somewhat of a foul mood when she left...bu...

teddybear · teddybear

Hello to all my old friends, and new ones too! Maybe some of the people who have been posting their comments for a long time.... remember me?? Life is not simple.... though I am trying to see the events that are going on with my sons as answers for them. Maybe they need to start choosing better partners?...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

My fiance is coming over in a little while to talk to me about last night... the drunken stumbling in late at night, the argument, him leaving. He says he still loves me and he is sorry. He actually called in to work this morning. That has NEVER happened. He says he couldn't sleep at all last night. He...

kbbs1 · kbbs1

Hi All- My family has a long history of dependency, family secrets with the women as enablers and the men (and a few women) are the 'broken' parties (From what I've read this is pretty common) there's not any specific dependency. It's ranged from physical abuse, methamphetamines, pedophilia, gambl...

buick23 · buick23

A year and 8 months ago my daugther decided to live with her dad and as of last Monday she's back with me. It was tough all that time but I made it tru. She found things out for herself. She knows I'm here for her and she came back on her own. Thank you everyone. buick

Sandy49203 · Sandy49203

My wife of 22 years has been sober 18 months. She's doing great, finding new independence and personal growth. Her personality has changed in the last 3-4 months. She's great with friends, a model mother to our children but distant and unavailable to me. I've never used the words "" an...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

Well, after the last couple of weeks of me agonizing over my fiance's strange behavior and increased drinking.... and trying to tell him how I felt with no luck.... he decided to disappear for a day and stumble in late last night..... but he would not talk. Should have just let him go to sleep I guess.......

thundermother · thundermother

Hi have a friend, who lives in the US, I'm in Canada, we met each other as business contacts and struck up a friendship. She admitted to me early on in our friendship that she was an alcoholic and then went on to tell me all her woes, with her addict bf and how he kicked her out and now she's basically homeles...

Jozie · Jozie

I am Looking for some Insight... OK, Currantly I have a Sponser, and how it came about, she was at my very 1st meeting, and one of the 1st to confront me, ESH me, Comfort me, and after about a year, I mentioned being ready (I thought ) for a Sponser, and she happily accepted.... SO, before this her & I kep...

susie56543 · susie56543

I need to talk about this. Unfortunately, I live in a very rural area (ugh) and the closest meeting is 2 hours away tonight. I'm about 35 weeks pregnant. At about 20 weeks, my ABF relapsed. I moved to Amish country with my dad & stepmom so I could continue through my pregnancy to be a full time student....

Terese · Terese

I look forward to the day when I can be of help to others here. Tonight, I am new, and I could use some support. My son Ben is 30 and is an alcoholic. He also suffers from agoraphobia. Until very recently, he was unable to leave the house. He has received good treatment and is able to make short car rides...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi gang.... Just concerned a wee bit of the tone of some of the replies lately.... I believe they are all coming from good intentions and heartfelt, but can we please steer clear of advice giving, wherever possible.... Share your E,S,&H, offer helpful options or food for thought, and offer encou...

kerry5 · kerry5

Hope you have a great Thanksgiving lots to be grateful for.!!! Kerry

Sam72 · Sam72

I havn't been on here in a really long time, My A and I have moved to a new state to be close to his Family. I have no friends or family here and I feel so alone. Things have got worse with my A's drinking and I feel like I'm watching him die in front of me and I'm not coping. For over a week now he has barley eaten a...

Fiddleman · Fiddleman

Hi All, I'm new here and this is my first post. I thought I needed to solicit opinions from seasoned Al Anoners regarding my level of involvement with my substance abusing (opiates, alcohol, Valium, etc) 27 year old son. He came out of his first rehab in mid-May after hitting what I thought was bottom...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

When my husband's drinking got out of control (almost 2 years ago), I took all of the alcohol out of the house and I stopped drinking in front of him. He has been working on his sobriety for several months now and is doing a great job. I still drink every once in a while (I like my wine), but not around him. O...

Screaming Barbie · Screaming Barbie

Here are some good quotes on the subject: "Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark." ~ Rabindranath Tagore "Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see." ~ William Newton Clarke "Take the FIRST STEP in faith...you don't have to see the whol...

Ginger90 · Ginger90

My 18 year old D who decided she wanted to try to make it on her own is now driving and uninsured and unregistered car. I feel a little bad about it because I had her me today and give me the plate so I can register it to her younger brothers car. She has paid me a total of $175 for insurance for the last year and a...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

So tonight was an exact repeat of last Friday, which I posted about. ABF was supposed to go to the 8pm AA meeting. Came home at the regular time, but was clearly drunk. Again. I didn't rant and rave. I simply told him he needed to leave. That I made it clear last week that he can do whatever he wants, but he wil...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

A few days ago I broke down and shared with him, through a letter, in a very loving way, that his behavior while drinking was really starting to hurt me.... not only during the episodes, but I was completely anxious and fearful of the next episodes I knew were coming. He pretty much tossed it aside, did n...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I know we are not suppose to be talking about outside help but I don`t have anywhere to bring this and would like to get others opinions please. Since starting Alanon these past few months I decided I could see that my background really is playing a big part in my life. I have 2 adult children that both have...

kerry5 · kerry5

Its thanksgiving weekend for us Canadians and i might not be home in time to chair. i would appreciate it if someone would step up tonight and chair. Thanks kerry (aka kerisha)

Aloha · Aloha

I've been reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I can relate so much to what she's written, and I'm sure she'd qualify as a great Al-Anon member. I was reading a passage in her book towards the end about her hesitation to return to a relationship after her divorce, and she was writi...

liljeannie · liljeannie

It's taken me a while to get here, but I am finally here....it's over...at least the emotional and mental part anyway. I have come to the realization that although I wanted my ABF to change, he just isnt ready..it's time for me to move on. I have spent the past 8 1/2 years living with insanity, lies, an...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Ugh!! Sometimes discovery isn't a lot of fun. Truely seeing my negative behaviors can be amazing. I read a book a year or so ago that spoke of watching your thoughts, rather than acting on them. Just watch and listen to your mind. I am slowly getting better at it. This morning my mind wants to think a...

thundermother · thundermother

Hi, I am a 45 yo mother of 2 who has been involved with an active A for the last 10 years. We live together and one child is his biologically. Since we met, my health, sanity and confidence has been slowly eroding. I am now on anti-anxiety medication and cannot do half of what I used to. I feel like a priso...

Kate999 · Kate999

Hello! I was looking for an Al-Anon board because I am really struggling. I grew up with two alcoholic parents who died in a house fire related to alcohol. I won't go into detail, but there was a lot of abuse and it was very difficult. I've worked hard to create a good life. I don't drink at all (an ounce of pr...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I was able to NOT let my bf's mom get to me through texting, thanks to the help of my sponsor! I called my sponsor in the middle of the insanity and she helped me through it all. My bf's mom was trying to get me to get up set so I would go home and yell at my A about things. It was my fault for texting her a note o...

Screaming Barbie · Screaming Barbie

When you know what is best but are worried what others will think.

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

Hi, my name is Kimmy. I am new here and new to al-anon. I feel like my situation is a little different than most. I have been with my husband for 8 years, but married for 4 years. When I met my husband, he had been sober for a year. Up until recently, he never drank because he knew he was an alcoholic and di...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Yesterday I found myself having one of many difficult days in recent months. Today was a total reversal. It didnt start out that way however. One of the issues I have been struggling with is added weight I have put on over the past year and a half. I complain about it but do little to stop it or reverse i...

snodebb · snodebb

I just wanted to post something good for a change. Since I started coming her I have mostly posted when things were not good. I come home tonight and he is sober. I did not say anything about last night or the night before and I think he was waiting for me to say something. He just kept looking at me. Normal...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

Hi everyone, You may remember me posting about my fun (fairly sober) Tues. night with my fiance. Well, typically I spent all day Wednesday while he was at work, crying and fearing him coming home and starting to drink again last night. I tried to suck it up because up until now, I did NOT want to have that...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

Hi everyone, Last night my fiance and I had a "date" at the state fair, just the two of us. It was really fun!! Right after he got home from work he drank 2 beers while getting cleaned up, which didn't seem like a lot cause he usually drinks like 6-12. Then we went to dinner and to the fair, where...

dori711 · dori711

Another meeting tomorrow, and I'm just not looking forward to going. It seems they all have something to say or a story to relate, the first time I kind of blundered my words, twice I passed and I'm still not comfortable with speaking, maybe I will never be because it's a group, and I've never been good...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), This is my annual reminder. October is breast cancer awareness month. Time to get those mammograms. MIP men don't shy away from this post. Recovery is about living your life. It's about taking care of ourselves the emotional as well as the physical side. Time to get those ma...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... My MIP Family... Today "Seems" to be going MUCH better then yesterday.. After I posted I was still fighting my own demons of trying to regroup and start over, "Control control control" and I wasn't doing so well, so I played Hookie at work, got in my truck, found me some ba...

AlaMom · AlaMom

I find myself in the position over the last couple of weeks wondering if I have been showing up for life on a regular basis. Am I doing anything more than the bare minimums to get through each day? Is there something more I should or could be doing? Am I right where I am supposed to be? Being out of work si...

releathe · releathe

I'm just starting to understand Alanon and as I do I'm starting to see that there are some things that I just can't live with. For example, I feel so awful about myself when I buy alcohol for my AH. It makes me feel so horrible. I also feel awful when I allow him to spend time with my 3 year old. To me, it is s...

snodebb · snodebb

I posted last night how my AH was drunk and telling me I was a bad parent. I come home tonight and was telling him how I don't like the way he treated me and it was totaly unacceptable. Was I wrong?? All he could say was What about my feelings. He just kept repeating that over and over. What about my feeling...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My addicted son (age 30) has been in a rehab for the last thirty days, which in my opinion has not been long enough but since his stay was not court ordered there is no way to keep him there if he says he is leaving and he says he is leaving. I am stressed because I can tell he has not taken the steps to recovery se...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Things at home are quite, so that helps...the test is when things aren't so great. Also wife and I went to a therapist that we are going to take my daughter to. My wife doesn't like the therapist (I expected that), and to be fair, I didn't find her very warm and cuddly. But she'd been recommended along w...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Thanks to my new sponser, I am figuring out detachment and concentrating on me. I was thinking that inorder to detach, I had to stop loving my abf and run away. I am realizing that for right now, I don't have to do that. That detachment is allowing my bf to be who he is, and to stop trying to tell him how to l...

nh girl · nh girl

Step 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Went to a f2f meeting this weekend and I was introduced to step 10. Who knew this was the message I needed to hear. I've been reacting to (exploding at) other people's negativity in general or personal critic...

Mercy · Mercy

It has been awhile since I posted a long while put I need to today. My brother in law went into detox yesterday for oxycotin addiction which turned into a 6 gram a day (that is what he tells me) heroine addiction. I have been there to get him his DSHS and helped him get into treatment and I know that I did not Ca...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is probably too soon to share but I feel like I am saying goodbye or something! I am still anxious & scared but I am going to be OK according to all my support system which is growing daily. God bless those who care! I have actually cried over knowing how many people, especially women, who know &...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi everyone, I attended my first Al Anon meeting last night. I found it to be a bit uncomfortable but I can definitely see how it would be helpful. So I'm hoping to continue to go. I'm attending Al Anon because of my wife, who is also attending AA. She has been quite irresponsible with drinking over the las...

snodebb · snodebb

Hubby comes home today drinking of course and wants to know where one of our daughters is. She wasnt feeling well this morning and stayed home she called me later and told me she was going to school because she had a test she couldnt miss. I tell my husband that and he starts going off about why she wanted to...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Checking In (Preview) Hello everyone, Good stuff: have not bitten anyone's head off yet, am happy, am sleeping, am eating, am getting A's, my moostiff is amazing, my priorities due to limited time are showing themselves to me every day, manage to get MIP to at least read more often than i thought Not so good stuff: am grouc...	Jennifer	2	649	Oct 12, 2010 by Jennifer
	Rewards of doing the legwork (Preview) This program offers no promises of serenity unless we are willing to do the legwork to help ourselves. By putting the focus on ourselves and our needs we begin to find peace and serenity within our lives. We gain confidence in our abilities and learn to believe we are worthy of good things in our lives...	AlaMom	10	905	Oct 12, 2010 by srose
	When an alcoholic first decides to stop drinking, what do you say to support him? (Preview) For the first time I think my alcoholic fiance might have hit a low point. I had to send him away Sunday night and he woke up on the floor of his mid-renovation house. Missed work for the first time that I know of. Also for the first time, he apologized for his drinking, agreed it was not healthy for my fam...	oklahoma momof5	12	878	Oct 12, 2010 by lyndebi
	What the hell is wrong with me? (Preview) I really dont know what the hell is wrong with me. My ABF and I split up about 3 months ago. The relationship had started to become violent and he had hit me on 3 separate occasions. The first time this happened we had argued over his x girlfriend and he was smashed and was very remorseful, we separated f...	Lizz	5	688	Oct 12, 2010 by xeno59
	off topic, but stuff of Life.... (Preview) For those of you who might be interested, this topic has to do with Parental Abduction, which 200,000. children are abducted by one of their parents in this country every year. As you have heard me mention from time to time. This happened to me way back in 1974 when my daughter was 6. Didnt find her unti...	Bettina	4	503	Oct 12, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Still Hanging onto... (Preview) my will. I am trying very hard to let go with my 18yo daughter, but it is a daily struggle. I just invited her to attend a show with her brother and I and she gladly accepted but my crazy mind can't just leave it at that. Now I am trying to figure out how to make/help her see that she wants to be at home with us, n...	Ginger90	5	559	Oct 12, 2010 by xeno59
	Program Reminder (Preview) Grateful on this thanksgiving weekend to be aware, . I do know the phrase : you'll discover that though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way - the same way we already love you. . Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one a...	kerry5	2	614	Oct 12, 2010 by thundermother
	New here and not sure this is where I should be.... (Preview) Hi. I was very excited to find this board as a friend had advised me of the alanon program. My issues are with my current bf. I have been with him almost 2 yrs and actually got divorced because of him (a good thing though, I wasn't happy). The first yr I was with him, I wasn't with him much at all because I wa...	member922	10	1087	Oct 12, 2010 by member922
	a chance to practice practice practice (Preview) Today was most certainly a chance to practice even more because I have had contact with my AH today. Please help me with something. I am experiencing great sadness. After seeing him act out all the behaviors of an A, I know it is true that he has a problem. It just feels like someone just called and told me h...	kath	3	736	Oct 12, 2010 by Jerry F
	what should I do about this? trying to do things "right." (Preview) I'll try to make this to the point: money is T-I-G-H-T lately. Like, no wiggle room to begin with, and then we had a big car repair and now there's really no room. So about a week ago, AH & I sat down and figured out how much we had, to make it to this friday. It was less than $100. A week + 2 days, less t...	applecake	8	489	Oct 11, 2010 by Jennifer
	Growing apart from a long-time friend... (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, and how they handled it. I've been in recovery and working my program for a little over a year. I have a friend who I've known since 3rd grade (I'm 37 yrs old), and we've been close for all of these years. I have found that, since I've been...	stopandchat	4	862	Oct 11, 2010 by Jennifer
	some frustration, some recovery. (Preview) I've not been feeling so depressed lately. Not happy mind you, although there have been some snippets of happy time here and there. But the absence of pain and depression is a blessing itself. I still feel frustrated at my recovery not speeding up (I know there's nothing I can do about it though, just...	mjhyankees	5	754	Oct 11, 2010 by xeno59
	Am I supposed to not care if she drinks? (Preview) Hi all, I'm not trying to be a wiseguy, just genuinely wondering as I am new to Al Anon. Is the idea that I'm supposed to not care if my wife has been drinking? Meaning should I not be trying to find out if she has? She just got back from grocery shopping, and she was in somewhat of a foul mood when she left...bu...	usedtobeanyer	11	1138	Oct 11, 2010 by xeno59
	enough is enough (Preview) Hello to all my old friends, and new ones too! Maybe some of the people who have been posting their comments for a long time.... remember me?? Life is not simple.... though I am trying to see the events that are going on with my sons as answers for them. Maybe they need to start choosing better partners?...	teddybear	5	490	Oct 11, 2010 by teddybear
	help?? (Preview) My fiance is coming over in a little while to talk to me about last night... the drunken stumbling in late at night, the argument, him leaving. He says he still loves me and he is sorry. He actually called in to work this morning. That has NEVER happened. He says he couldn't sleep at all last night. He...	oklahoma momof5	13	841	Oct 11, 2010 by Bettina
	Hoping I did the right thing..... (Preview) Hi All- My family has a long history of dependency, family secrets with the women as enablers and the men (and a few women) are the 'broken' parties (From what I've read this is pretty common) there's not any specific dependency. It's ranged from physical abuse, methamphetamines, pedophilia, gambl...	kbbs1	5	826	Oct 11, 2010 by kbbs1
	hello (Preview) A year and 8 months ago my daugther decided to live with her dad and as of last Monday she's back with me. It was tough all that time but I made it tru. She found things out for herself. She knows I'm here for her and she came back on her own. Thank you everyone. buick	buick23	4	577	Oct 11, 2010 by Mandy123
	Who is this sober woman; where is my wife? (Preview) My wife of 22 years has been sober 18 months. She's doing great, finding new independence and personal growth. Her personality has changed in the last 3-4 months. She's great with friends, a model mother to our children but distant and unavailable to me. I've never used the words "" an...	Sandy49203	9	1194	Oct 11, 2010 by gfb1
	I guess he's leaving me..... =( (Preview) Well, after the last couple of weeks of me agonizing over my fiance's strange behavior and increased drinking.... and trying to tell him how I felt with no luck.... he decided to disappear for a day and stumble in late last night..... but he would not talk. Should have just let him go to sleep I guess.......	oklahoma momof5	4	587	Oct 11, 2010 by xeno59
	Detaching from an A Friend (Preview) Hi have a friend, who lives in the US, I'm in Canada, we met each other as business contacts and struck up a friendship. She admitted to me early on in our friendship that she was an alcoholic and then went on to tell me all her woes, with her addict bf and how he kicked her out and now she's basically homeles...	thundermother	3	808	Oct 11, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	I need Sponser Issues ESH!!!! (Preview) I am Looking for some Insight... OK, Currantly I have a Sponser, and how it came about, she was at my very 1st meeting, and one of the 1st to confront me, ESH me, Comfort me, and after about a year, I mentioned being ready (I thought ) for a Sponser, and she happily accepted.... SO, before this her & I kep...	Jozie	1	768	Oct 11, 2010 by hotrod
	pregnant mom, possesive Adad. (Preview) I need to talk about this. Unfortunately, I live in a very rural area (ugh) and the closest meeting is 2 hours away tonight. I'm about 35 weeks pregnant. At about 20 weeks, my ABF relapsed. I moved to Amish country with my dad & stepmom so I could continue through my pregnancy to be a full time student....	susie56543	6	1023	Oct 11, 2010 by susie56543
	I'm New Here (Preview) I look forward to the day when I can be of help to others here. Tonight, I am new, and I could use some support. My son Ben is 30 and is an alcoholic. He also suffers from agoraphobia. Until very recently, he was unable to leave the house. He has received good treatment and is able to make short car rides...	Terese	3	781	Oct 11, 2010 by hotrod
	Gentle reminder re: giving advice.... (Preview) Hi gang.... Just concerned a wee bit of the tone of some of the replies lately.... I believe they are all coming from good intentions and heartfelt, but can we please steer clear of advice giving, wherever possible.... Share your E,S,&H, offer helpful options or food for thought, and offer encou...	canadianguy	8	1155	Oct 11, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Happy Thanksgiving Canadians! (Preview) Hope you have a great Thanksgiving lots to be grateful for.!!! Kerry	kerry5	4	410	Oct 11, 2010 by kerry5
	Not Coping (Preview) I havn't been on here in a really long time, My A and I have moved to a new state to be close to his Family. I have no friends or family here and I feel so alone. Things have got worse with my A's drinking and I feel like I'm watching him die in front of me and I'm not coping. For over a week now he has barley eaten a...	Sam72	5	730	Oct 11, 2010 by Sam72
	Enabling or saving a life? enabling money (Preview) Hi All, I'm new here and this is my first post. I thought I needed to solicit opinions from seasoned Al Anoners regarding my level of involvement with my substance abusing (opiates, alcohol, Valium, etc) 27 year old son. He came out of his first rehab in mid-May after hitting what I thought was bottom...	Fiddleman	12	9078	Oct 10, 2010 by Fiddleman
	Feeling Guilty (Preview) When my husband's drinking got out of control (almost 2 years ago), I took all of the alcohol out of the house and I stopped drinking in front of him. He has been working on his sobriety for several months now and is doing a great job. I still drink every once in a while (I like my wine), but not around him. O...	N8SMOM	6	762	Oct 10, 2010 by N8SMOM
	Fear and Faith. (Preview) Here are some good quotes on the subject: "Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark." ~ Rabindranath Tagore "Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see." ~ William Newton Clarke "Take the FIRST STEP in faith...you don't have to see the whol...	Screaming Barbie	3	1479	Oct 10, 2010 by xeno59
	Tough Love (Preview) My 18 year old D who decided she wanted to try to make it on her own is now driving and uninsured and unregistered car. I feel a little bad about it because I had her me today and give me the plate so I can register it to her younger brothers car. She has paid me a total of $175 for insurance for the last year and a...	Ginger90	6	918	Oct 10, 2010 by xeno59
	Wash, rinse, repeat (Preview) So tonight was an exact repeat of last Friday, which I posted about. ABF was supposed to go to the 8pm AA meeting. Came home at the regular time, but was clearly drunk. Again. I didn't rant and rave. I simply told him he needed to leave. That I made it clear last week that he can do whatever he wants, but he wil...	jettiesgirl	5	806	Oct 10, 2010 by xeno59
	He found out about al-anon =( (Preview) A few days ago I broke down and shared with him, through a letter, in a very loving way, that his behavior while drinking was really starting to hurt me.... not only during the episodes, but I was completely anxious and fearful of the next episodes I knew were coming. He pretty much tossed it aside, did n...	oklahoma momof5	8	1153	Oct 10, 2010 by xeno59
	Difficult Time... Is Someone Willing to be a Temp Sponsor? (Preview) I know we are not suppose to be talking about outside help but I don`t have anywhere to bring this and would like to get others opinions please. Since starting Alanon these past few months I decided I could see that my background really is playing a big part in my life. I have 2 adult children that both have...	Samsgram	2	1149	Oct 10, 2010 by xeno59
	Need Chair person for Sunday 7pm meeting October 10th 2010 (Preview) Its thanksgiving weekend for us Canadians and i might not be home in time to chair. i would appreciate it if someone would step up tonight and chair. Thanks kerry (aka kerisha)	kerry5	0	459	Oct 10, 2010 by kerry5
	I fell in love not with the person but with their POTENTIAL. (Preview) I've been reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I can relate so much to what she's written, and I'm sure she'd qualify as a great Al-Anon member. I was reading a passage in her book towards the end about her hesitation to return to a relationship after her divorce, and she was writi...	Aloha	8	800	Oct 9, 2010 by susie56543
	Making changes, needing ESH (Preview) It's taken me a while to get here, but I am finally here....it's over...at least the emotional and mental part anyway. I have come to the realization that although I wanted my ABF to change, he just isnt ready..it's time for me to move on. I have spent the past 8 1/2 years living with insanity, lies, an...	liljeannie	5	774	Oct 8, 2010 by lyndebi
	Watching myself... (Preview) Ugh!! Sometimes discovery isn't a lot of fun. Truely seeing my negative behaviors can be amazing. I read a book a year or so ago that spoke of watching your thoughts, rather than acting on them. Just watch and listen to your mind. I am slowly getting better at it. This morning my mind wants to think a...	fishinmama	6	795	Oct 8, 2010 by kath
	New and in need of hope and help (Preview) Hi, I am a 45 yo mother of 2 who has been involved with an active A for the last 10 years. We live together and one child is his biologically. Since we met, my health, sanity and confidence has been slowly eroding. I am now on anti-anxiety medication and cannot do half of what I used to. I feel like a priso...	thundermother	14	911	Oct 8, 2010 by thundermother
	New...and upset (Preview) Hello! I was looking for an Al-Anon board because I am really struggling. I grew up with two alcoholic parents who died in a house fire related to alcohol. I won't go into detail, but there was a lot of abuse and it was very difficult. I've worked hard to create a good life. I don't drink at all (an ounce of pr...	Kate999	4	743	Oct 8, 2010 by lyndebi
	What I did yesterday :) (Preview) I was able to NOT let my bf's mom get to me through texting, thanks to the help of my sponsor! I called my sponsor in the middle of the insanity and she helped me through it all. My bf's mom was trying to get me to get up set so I would go home and yell at my A about things. It was my fault for texting her a note o...	sunflowergirl	4	772	Oct 8, 2010 by Jerry F
	What is a good quote or saying for taking care of yourself when others say you SHOULD do this or that? (Preview) When you know what is best but are worried what others will think.	Screaming Barbie	12	1584	Oct 8, 2010 by kitty
	New here (very long) (Preview) Hi, my name is Kimmy. I am new here and new to al-anon. I feel like my situation is a little different than most. I have been with my husband for 8 years, but married for 4 years. When I met my husband, he had been sober for a year. Up until recently, he never drank because he knew he was an alcoholic and di...	kimmy1975	14	807	Oct 8, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Raindrops and Rainbows (Preview) Yesterday I found myself having one of many difficult days in recent months. Today was a total reversal. It didnt start out that way however. One of the issues I have been struggling with is added weight I have put on over the past year and a half. I complain about it but do little to stop it or reverse i...	AlaMom	4	999	Oct 8, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Having a good night!!!! (Preview) I just wanted to post something good for a change. Since I started coming her I have mostly posted when things were not good. I come home tonight and he is sober. I did not say anything about last night or the night before and I think he was waiting for me to say something. He just kept looking at me. Normal...	snodebb	3	642	Oct 8, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	It all came to a head last night.... just getting it off my chest... long, sorry. (Preview) Hi everyone, You may remember me posting about my fun (fairly sober) Tues. night with my fiance. Well, typically I spent all day Wednesday while he was at work, crying and fearing him coming home and starting to drink again last night. I tried to suck it up because up until now, I did NOT want to have that...	oklahoma momof5	7	829	Oct 8, 2010 by Cloudsea
	Could he be getting better? And is 2 beers too much to drink before driving? (Preview) Hi everyone, Last night my fiance and I had a "date" at the state fair, just the two of us. It was really fun!! Right after he got home from work he drank 2 beers while getting cleaned up, which didn't seem like a lot cause he usually drinks like 6-12. Then we went to dinner and to the fair, where...	oklahoma momof5	11	1540	Oct 8, 2010 by kitty
	Not comfortable with al anon meetings. (Preview) Another meeting tomorrow, and I'm just not looking forward to going. It seems they all have something to say or a story to relate, the first time I kind of blundered my words, twice I passed and I'm still not comfortable with speaking, maybe I will never be because it's a group, and I've never been good...	dori711	14	1319	Oct 7, 2010 by nh girl
	Get those mammograms (Preview) (((((Family)))), This is my annual reminder. October is breast cancer awareness month. Time to get those mammograms. MIP men don't shy away from this post. Recovery is about living your life. It's about taking care of ourselves the emotional as well as the physical side. Time to get those ma...	Karilynn	2	538	Oct 7, 2010 by snodebb
	Moved Past Yesterday! (Preview) Welp... My MIP Family... Today "Seems" to be going MUCH better then yesterday.. After I posted I was still fighting my own demons of trying to regroup and start over, "Control control control" and I wasn't doing so well, so I played Hookie at work, got in my truck, found me some ba...	Jozie	3	1040	Oct 7, 2010 by Andrea12
	Is this living life?? (Preview) I find myself in the position over the last couple of weeks wondering if I have been showing up for life on a regular basis. Am I doing anything more than the bare minimums to get through each day? Is there something more I should or could be doing? Am I right where I am supposed to be? Being out of work si...	AlaMom	2	1117	Oct 7, 2010 by Andrea12
	What about my kids? (Preview) I'm just starting to understand Alanon and as I do I'm starting to see that there are some things that I just can't live with. For example, I feel so awful about myself when I buy alcohol for my AH. It makes me feel so horrible. I also feel awful when I allow him to spend time with my 3 year old. To me, it is s...	releathe	5	913	Oct 7, 2010 by Mattie
	Is it wrong to tell my AH I don't like the way he treated me???? (Preview) I posted last night how my AH was drunk and telling me I was a bad parent. I come home tonight and was telling him how I don't like the way he treated me and it was totaly unacceptable. Was I wrong?? All he could say was What about my feelings. He just kept repeating that over and over. What about my feeling...	snodebb	11	869	Oct 7, 2010 by Aloha
	When Someone Comes Out Of Rehab... (Preview) My addicted son (age 30) has been in a rehab for the last thirty days, which in my opinion has not been long enough but since his stay was not court ordered there is no way to keep him there if he says he is leaving and he says he is leaving. I am stressed because I can tell he has not taken the steps to recovery se...	DreamsOver	6	2028	Oct 7, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Feeling OK these days.... (Preview) Things at home are quite, so that helps...the test is when things aren't so great. Also wife and I went to a therapist that we are going to take my daughter to. My wife doesn't like the therapist (I expected that), and to be fair, I didn't find her very warm and cuddly. But she'd been recommended along w...	mjhyankees	2	703	Oct 7, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Detachment=allowing him to be who he is.... (Preview) Thanks to my new sponser, I am figuring out detachment and concentrating on me. I was thinking that inorder to detach, I had to stop loving my abf and run away. I am realizing that for right now, I don't have to do that. That detachment is allowing my bf to be who he is, and to stop trying to tell him how to l...	sunflowergirl	11	878	Oct 7, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Step 10 who knew... (Preview) Step 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Went to a f2f meeting this weekend and I was introduced to step 10. Who knew this was the message I needed to hear. I've been reacting to (exploding at) other people's negativity in general or personal critic...	nh girl	4	849	Oct 6, 2010 by nh girl
	It has been awhile (Preview) It has been awhile since I posted a long while put I need to today. My brother in law went into detox yesterday for oxycotin addiction which turned into a 6 gram a day (that is what he tells me) heroine addiction. I have been there to get him his DSHS and helped him get into treatment and I know that I did not Ca...	Mercy	6	691	Oct 6, 2010 by Mercy
	probably to soon... (Preview) It is probably too soon to share but I feel like I am saying goodbye or something! I am still anxious & scared but I am going to be OK according to all my support system which is growing daily. God bless those who care! I have actually cried over knowing how many people, especially women, who know &...	Hoot Nanny	5	814	Oct 6, 2010 by AlaMom
	New here & new to Al Anon (Preview) Hi everyone, I attended my first Al Anon meeting last night. I found it to be a bit uncomfortable but I can definitely see how it would be helpful. So I'm hoping to continue to go. I'm attending Al Anon because of my wife, who is also attending AA. She has been quite irresponsible with drinking over the las...	usedtobeanyer	5	788	Oct 6, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Why does the conversation with a drunk never end!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) Hubby comes home today drinking of course and wants to know where one of our daughters is. She wasnt feeling well this morning and stayed home she called me later and told me she was going to school because she had a test she couldnt miss. I tell my husband that and he starts going off about why she wanted to...	snodebb	7	784	Oct 6, 2010 by Holly09
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.