Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

Hello. My name is Brooke and I have just recently been introduced to al-anon. I am twenty years old and I have been dating a drug addict ( he is addicted to perscription drugs) on and off for the past eleven months. He is my first and only love. We have gone through so many struggles together. He has relap...

smartkat · smartkat

Or in this case, the one special-needs child? It is one thing to let my brother make his own stupid mistakes. And I even understand about letting my mom make her mistakes in trying to rescue my brother. But how do you form good boundries when there is a special needs child who can't fend for herself and yo...

kath · kath

Just need to talk about my children. Everything is changing. I have stopped being this meek little person that allows my children to run over me. They don't like it. There are constant battles. I can't wait until the day when we actually have one day without chaos. Yeah who am I kidding. I just wish my kid...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Every goal scored in life is usually a team effort. Be like the little boy who came home from the auditions for the school play and announced, 'Mummy, I got the part. I've been chosen to sit in the audience and cheer.' When you can do that, your head finally fits your hat size. Suzannah

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Last night's meeting topic was communication. I was thinking how different my communication is than it used to be. Actually, when I got here, I had just about NO methods of effective communication. In my family of origin, I was not permitted to express my opinions, disappointment, anger, or any...

snodebb · snodebb

Since I told my AH that he could not live here until he got his act together. Told him he needed to get back to AA once he starts skipping meetings its not long before it gets real bad. People that have heard he is not living here told me well its about time you threw him out. It really hard when you know he can s...

tlcate · tlcate

I heard it driving down the road when it first came out and it made me cry. Now it is very popular and on all the time. I feel myself walking away from it. It is starting to feel less like what life should be and more like what I should be running from. That is a good thing. These are explicit lyrics . . . Emine...

xosarahox · xosarahox

I've been to about 5 meetings and I guess I should keep going... I'm just so confused about certain things, it's like a war constantly raging in my head. My ABF has been sober for almost 3 months, and things are going well. He's very active in his recovery and half of the time I feel guilty because so many p...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

Last night AH and I had an argument. He was upset with me because I am currently on medical leave, and I spent my time yesterday on the computer looking for a new job, reading the boards here, chatting with people from here, and reading a book. The kids were in school, AH was working from home, and there j...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife's parents have known that something is wrong with my wife for a few months now. They thought maybe it was medication or just exhaustion. But they saw her at her worse earlier this week (they live 400 miles away but happen to be visiting this week) and knew something was seriously wrong. I got the c...

ebarash · ebarash

I really hope there are some folks here that might be able to give me a little advice that gives me some relief, as I am really hurting. I am a recovering alcoholic (10 months) and despite all the warnings from others in my program, I went ahead and got into a relationship with another newcomer. Perhaps I...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(Friends), Well we lost another young man in our community today....he was going to check into rehab here in the next few days but instead he checked out of life. This beautiful young man was the tender age of 19. His name was Mike, he was a good kind hearted person. The drugs took him away from his world...

Lyn0202 · Lyn0202

I'm a newbie here, and this is my dilemma: what do you do when you set a very firm boundary, with clear consequences, and your partner crosses the line? Background: my partner has had brief relapses that he's hidden from me. Invariably I find out. I am willing to deal with the relapses as long as he gets...

sarahlm · sarahlm

So my AH has brought me to tears AGAIN. This time, over an article I sent him IN PRISON about how its a good idea for Prisoners on Parole in general to do certain things when they get out, like work, maybe transitional housing, and have a support group. Just an article I thought he might find interesting to...

crossroads · crossroads

I am new here and desperately need some advice. Sorry for the LONG post. On 10/8/10 I found emails between my H and another woman confirming affair. I confronted him and told him to leave. Needless to say, he was in the bottle for the next 8+ days. I had little or no contact. He called me and asked if he cou...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I AM DOING OK TODAY! I AM OUT & ABOUT! FORTUANTELY I DON'T HAVE ANY PLANS TO OVERDO IT! IT IS RAINING ON THIS NICE FALL DAY. NOT MUCH MORE TO SAY. I JUST WANTED TO CHECK IN TO LET THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE FOLLOWED MY RECOVERY THAT I AM WELL ON MY WAY TO GETTING HEALTHY AGAIN. I STILL AM VERY LIMITED BECAUSE I A...

rylzmama · rylzmama

I have not been on this site in a while because I felt i didnt need alonon if my ah wasnt drinking anymore. . . but the truth is when i am not working on my recovery it seems to be back firing on me. . . Im now waking up every morning with an anxious feeling that follows me thru the day. Im still thinking about wha...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife & I are going away for the weekend to a friends cottage and her parents are watching the kids. I'm extremely apprehensive about this. This is only the 2nd time since we had kids that we've had some time alone (it will be just the 2 of us). Although I and our marriage counselor have told her not to...

hazeleyes946 · hazeleyes946

Hi everyone, This is my first time doing any of all of this. I will try to give yall the cliff notes to make everything easy. Ok, I am 25, my husband is 27, we have been married 5 years and have a 4 year old girl. We met when I was in the Marines, and he is still in the Navy, we met when I got hurt and was in the hospita...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

Hello My fiance is a binge drinker, not a terrible one but he loses control of drinking with blackout and 12+/15+ drinks around once a week. I thought he was getting better when we got engaged - very little binging - but found out since fall started that he's not. I was devastated because I am too scared to...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

1. do you talk to your parents/friends about your A? Many of my friends know. I have just told my parents about my AF because of halting wedding planning and not being able to take it any more. They are very supportive and care about both of us, but especially me (which is nice, of course). I'm sad though be...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

How do you handle your fears? My AS checked himself out of rehab yesterday and called me at work to let me know. After I got off the phone my mind went into hyper-drive, I felt sick at my stomach, shaking. I hate myself for not being able to control myself better, but I could tell by how he was talking that ...

xeno59 · xeno59

I just wanted to ask you all to send up a little prayer today for my brother Jim. He has HepC from his past drug use. He has been in recovery almost 13 years now. He has the most virulant ( spelling) strain of HepC and no treatments have worked for him. He is now in last stage liver failure and as much as we all h...

dori711 · dori711

I only attended 3 meetings, missed the last 2 and was debating whether I should attend the next one. My H came home today and announced they changed his shifts to nights, so he will be home everyday now. I didn't want him to know at least for now but if I do decide to go I have to wonder how I can go without hi...

Jerry F · Jerry F

That is the theme for our Fall Assembly with this being the 4th year again we are the host again. I won't be crusing MIP but working it locally. Have got 66 members in service to the area coming to our side of the island and it will be super just like the last 2 I've done service with. The GRs and DRs will ar...

snodebb · snodebb

Its been 2 nights since my AH has slept here. He was here when I came home from work yesterday and I told him you can't stay here its not healthy for me and the kids. He was mad and said he is scared and doesnt know what to do. He has a childhood friend has is a recovering alcoholic and he got my AH into the carpent...

member922 · member922

I know that noone can really answer this question, but I was just looking for some different perspectives. I don't live with my bf who has issues with marijuana and drinking. We have been together for like a year and a half. I have been going to therapy, attended an alanon meeting (plan on going to mor...

kath · kath

I am focusing way too much on my ah today. Just need to post this. My ah came to see us last weekend and now he is expecting me to reciprocate by going to see him tomorrow while his children are with him for the weekend so they can see their sister. He is trying to hook me in with feeling sorry for his children be...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Our wise, wacky, wonderful Senora Bob turns 21 today! WOOHOO! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Remember calories don't count this week so you can have your and eat it too! Enjoy the birthday week. Thanks for being part of our MIP family. You're a treasure. Piper has a mouse stashed especially for you. Much lov...

sunshinemama · sunshinemama

I posted on Tuesday that I was worried because it was AH bowling night and that guarantees alcohol. Well, it did. He also drank quite a bit yesterday and I did pretty good at avoiding confrontations and such. It helped that I had to take my girls to Girl Scouts so we were able to get out of the house for a w...

SwitchedOnLotus · SwitchedOnLotus

Greetings, MIP'ers! It is surreal for me to be here, posting about this. I recently visited my sister, who lives a few states away, and was pretty shocked at how she is living and the state of her life. Our family of origin has a history of alcoholism, but I never took it seriously until this visit with...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Forgive the double posts today, last night was a rough night. My wife has not acknowledged her drinking last night, despite it being clear to me and her parents that she was under the influence. I saw her briefly this morning before I went to work and after she got home from AA and she didn't say anything a...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all.... I often quote the words from my wise old sponsor Don, who has since passed away.... I was looking for something in my garage the other day, and inadvertently came across a few of the e-mails that he had sent me years ago, as he helped me find my way in my Al-Anon recovery. The one copied below is...

Jozie · Jozie

Not Sure "Cunning" Really sums up for me the meaning of what this disease has done to me, & my Family... Today, I said fairwell to another of My Afathers friends, It was sad for more then just the reason of loss of life, but also for the things "This" disease causes others to bec...

dawntodusk · dawntodusk

After 10 years of sobriety, my partner just relapsed last week and not sure how to tackle this situation. I am in a panic as do not want all of us as a family to experience the consequences. I have suggested he goes on a relapse program but does not seem convinced. What to do?

essgee1952 · essgee1952

Trying to keep a long story short, AH went to jail yesterday for 6 months for repeated DUI's. Had to give me his Blackberry and everything else before they hauled him off. He has always been able to hold a good job, in fact in management, and thought he had allies within the company who would check his em...

snodebb · snodebb

So AH tries to bump himself off twice tonight. Of cours I save him and its not the first time. I won't go into details right now. I called his sister and told her I am done can't do it anymore. She is the only family member I can talk to since she just got out of the same kind of realtionship. The rest of the 5 b...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I have had another case of a ruptured ovarian cyst that has put me out for almost a week. I called out of work the last three days, and felt terrible guilt for it. I have been working on my guilty feelings, because I don't want to upset anyone else or make anyone else have to do my job... I work the front desk...

kitty · kitty

I love doing the Sunday Morning Meetings here. I have only been doing them for two weeks now and I LOVE LOVE it!!! I regretably have to inform all, that I will be out of town this weekend and will not have computer access to chair the meeting, like normal. If anyone would like to step up and chair, thank yo...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

I'm in here trying to clear my head.... I got so mad tonight.... did not say much, but I'm sure my face said it all. My fiance (I guess I have to call him that cause I'm still wearing the ring) was out grilling. He came in and told me that this neighbor lady that I have noticed has seemed kind of flirty with...

member922 · member922

I received this book yesterday in the mail and I am just thrilled with it. From the moment I started reading it, I could identify with most everything I read. I am so happy that I gave this group a try. I cannot believe that there are other people with the same issues that I have, almost exactly. I am happy...

ellens93 · ellens93

I am back to this message board almost two years later after leaving my alcoholic boyfriend for the second time. I got back together with him after he went through outpatient treatment and did AA and was sober for about a year, but he started drinking and lying to me about it again. Well I moved out last w...

sunshinemama · sunshinemama

I'll start by saying that we had a pretty calm, relatively alcohol free weekend. Tonight, however, is AH's bowling league night which ALWAYS involves beer to some extent. These are the nights that AH doesn't worry about hiding the fact that he has been drinking because he knows that I already expec...

alisonf · alisonf

My husband who is in recovery and has been for 6 months keeps on saying that he needs to do for himself and get himself better. Well, i am working on myself also but i am scared to death that all of this is just going to pull us apart and ruin our marriage in the end. I really can't stand him anymore. He acts l...

maresie · maresie

After working a fourth step in al anon I've found I had to change my whole view point. Like many people, Sylvia Plath was one my heroine. The aggrieved, driven crazy wife was certainly something to worship for me. I'm now finding that I don't worship the victim role anymore. Certainly I'm willing...

alisonf · alisonf

I went to my first meeting of Al-anon this past Sunday becuase I realize that i have issues stemming from my husband and my fathers addictions and i need to get help. Right now i feel like i am ready to blow. Trying to give my husband the time and patience while he works on his recovery. This is the third t...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Just wanted to say hi - haven't been around a ton in the last week or two, and I've missed you guys! Work is crazy busy and when I'm not working I'm chasing 2 little boys around - but things are good and I'm so blessed. :) I'm keeping up with my face to face meetings, just haven't had a ton of time to open the c...

SteppingUp · SteppingUp

Just putting this out there so see if anyone else has encountered this. Realized about 6 months ago that DW was drinking a bottle of wine each night and sometimes more than that. I would cringe when I heard her pour that third, fourth and fifth glass. When she drinks she becomes confrontational and argu...

titanicspriging · titanicspriging

I took my AH back under a promise he was not to touch drink then yesterday I knew he was at it again-just couldn't prove it, but today found 2 tins of bear in bin. Because this is to be our last chance of working things out - part of me wanted to just put them back in the bin and say nothing, but deep down I knew th...

Ness · Ness

The 3 A's closest to me, 2 family and 1 friend, were all diagnosed passive aggressive. I read this article last night and it opened my eyes to a lot of behaviours I saw before the drinking started, and how these behaviours have been excacerbated as the drinking progresses. Its opened my eyes and I'm a...

Itsalwayshavoc · Itsalwayshavoc

Curious, although I have read the book titled the Passive Aggressive Male, how that can that can tie in with alcoholism? I have one of those spouses and can definitely use the support on how to manage myself. This is very diificult, as I am sure it is for everybody, but how the he*# am I suppose the repel h...

dori711 · dori711

Had a tough week last week. Little has changed. Husband hasn't changed and neither has the way I respond to him. I just about lost it with him and now I'm discouraged that I failed to keep my composure not only with him but with other family members thru out the week I didn't go to the Al-Anon mee...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

So this morning AH and I are outside smoking, and out of nowhere he says to me "When I drink, and you get concerned that my drinking will get out of control, how would you feel if I just drank on the weekends?" This totally caught me off guard, and now I wish I would have answered differently. W...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I don't even know how to start this, as it really makes no sense. While I want to put blame, I feel a bit detached (which is a surprise to me), knowing in the world of teenagers doesnt always make a whole lot of sense anyway. My son is 17 and he has a girlfriend who just turned 18. A delightful girl with a heart...

kath · kath

I read about the A's radar when you start to move on with your life. I think I read about it in Getting Them Sober. The minute I started to really believe that I am going to be ok with or without him, my ah calls me out of the blue, after not speaking for three weeks. I have never been able to detach without an...

lyndebi · lyndebi

My young couple who have boarded their animals with me for over a year got a neat place. So we got ready to load up the animals to go. I put a chute up, they arranged the guy to do it. The guy with the livestock trailor canceled. rrrrrr so I told the kids, ok we transport them in our cars....My young couple who...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I need advice on how to deal with passive aggressive behavior. This is where my dh gets me most. He was sober for 15 years and that's always been his way. Getting pouty, walking out of a room, giving the silent treatment, baiting you with his comments to get you to engage or fight with him, etc. I've be...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi everyone, I'm hoping some others here can provide some specific examples of ways they detach from their partner. I'm finding it to be hard and rather than detaching I'm dismissing. Which is working well for me but not for her. I read someone else post about how they "detached with anger"...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My AS is in drug rehab, he has visiting privileges on Sunday's. When I visit him he does everything he can to upset me, pull me into his drama of his drug use, that has given our family so much pain. We have tried to help him but until he wants recovery we can't make it happen for him. When I get home I am a wre...

maresie · maresie

When I first got here I was full of willfulness. When people suggested something or a skill I could master, I felt that I "should" not have to do that. I held onto the willfulness as a way to show my anger, resentment, hurt and fear. I absolutely did not want to accept the now ex AH was absolut...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Advice please (Preview) Hello. My name is Brooke and I have just recently been introduced to al-anon. I am twenty years old and I have been dating a drug addict ( he is addicted to perscription drugs) on and off for the past eleven months. He is my first and only love. We have gone through so many struggles together. He has relap...	Brookiebabe222	6	783	Oct 27, 2010 by xeno59
	What about the children? (Preview) Or in this case, the one special-needs child? It is one thing to let my brother make his own stupid mistakes. And I even understand about letting my mom make her mistakes in trying to rescue my brother. But how do you form good boundries when there is a special needs child who can't fend for herself and yo...	smartkat	3	1104	Oct 27, 2010 by xeno59
	support (Preview) Just need to talk about my children. Everything is changing. I have stopped being this meek little person that allows my children to run over me. They don't like it. There are constant battles. I can't wait until the day when we actually have one day without chaos. Yeah who am I kidding. I just wish my kid...	kath	4	699	Oct 27, 2010 by xeno59
	Just had to share this snippet... it's a gem... (Preview) Every goal scored in life is usually a team effort. Be like the little boy who came home from the auditions for the school play and announced, 'Mummy, I got the part. I've been chosen to sit in the audience and cheer.' When you can do that, your head finally fits your hat size. Suzannah	Suzannah	4	791	Oct 27, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Communication (Preview) Last night's meeting topic was communication. I was thinking how different my communication is than it used to be. Actually, when I got here, I had just about NO methods of effective communication. In my family of origin, I was not permitted to express my opinions, disappointment, anger, or any...	White Rabbit	6	2600	Oct 27, 2010 by podlin
	Getting lots of advice from people not living in my shoes!!! (Preview) Since I told my AH that he could not live here until he got his act together. Told him he needed to get back to AA once he starts skipping meetings its not long before it gets real bad. People that have heard he is not living here told me well its about time you threw him out. It really hard when you know he can s...	snodebb	9	1317	Oct 27, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Every time I hear this song . . . (Preview) I heard it driving down the road when it first came out and it made me cry. Now it is very popular and on all the time. I feel myself walking away from it. It is starting to feel less like what life should be and more like what I should be running from. That is a good thing. These are explicit lyrics . . . Emine...	tlcate	7	1187	Oct 27, 2010 by podlin
	My first post (Preview) I've been to about 5 meetings and I guess I should keep going... I'm just so confused about certain things, it's like a war constantly raging in my head. My ABF has been sober for almost 3 months, and things are going well. He's very active in his recovery and half of the time I feel guilty because so many p...	xosarahox	4	714	Oct 27, 2010 by tiredtonite
	My life is in shambles right now (Preview) Last night AH and I had an argument. He was upset with me because I am currently on medical leave, and I spent my time yesterday on the computer looking for a new job, reading the boards here, chatting with people from here, and reading a book. The kids were in school, AH was working from home, and there j...	kimmy1975	11	1003	Oct 27, 2010 by Lizz
	Told my wife's parents everything--mistake or no? (Preview) My wife's parents have known that something is wrong with my wife for a few months now. They thought maybe it was medication or just exhaustion. But they saw her at her worse earlier this week (they live 400 miles away but happen to be visiting this week) and knew something was seriously wrong. I got the c...	usedtobeanyer	10	1276	Oct 26, 2010 by maire rua
	I'm having A really tough time - some advice would really be appreciated... (Preview) I really hope there are some folks here that might be able to give me a little advice that gives me some relief, as I am really hurting. I am a recovering alcoholic (10 months) and despite all the warnings from others in my program, I went ahead and got into a relationship with another newcomer. Perhaps I...	ebarash	7	1316	Oct 26, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Another Senseless Young Death (Preview) (Friends), Well we lost another young man in our community today....he was going to check into rehab here in the next few days but instead he checked out of life. This beautiful young man was the tender age of 19. His name was Mike, he was a good kind hearted person. The drugs took him away from his world...	Andrea12	7	923	Oct 26, 2010 by kitty
	Crossing Boundaries (Preview) I'm a newbie here, and this is my dilemma: what do you do when you set a very firm boundary, with clear consequences, and your partner crosses the line? Background: my partner has had brief relapses that he's hidden from me. Invariably I find out. I am willing to deal with the relapses as long as he gets...	Lyn0202	7	1042	Oct 26, 2010 by david62
	Well, he has done it again-ESH needed (Preview) So my AH has brought me to tears AGAIN. This time, over an article I sent him IN PRISON about how its a good idea for Prisoners on Parole in general to do certain things when they get out, like work, maybe transitional housing, and have a support group. Just an article I thought he might find interesting to...	sarahlm	4	510	Oct 26, 2010 by ashiqur
	Husband leaving detox tomorrow- do I let him come home? (Preview) I am new here and desperately need some advice. Sorry for the LONG post. On 10/8/10 I found emails between my H and another woman confirming affair. I confronted him and told him to leave. Needless to say, he was in the bottle for the next 8+ days. I had little or no contact. He called me and asked if he cou...	crossroads	8	1751	Oct 25, 2010 by crossroads
	I am OK today! (Preview) I AM DOING OK TODAY! I AM OUT & ABOUT! FORTUANTELY I DON'T HAVE ANY PLANS TO OVERDO IT! IT IS RAINING ON THIS NICE FALL DAY. NOT MUCH MORE TO SAY. I JUST WANTED TO CHECK IN TO LET THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE FOLLOWED MY RECOVERY THAT I AM WELL ON MY WAY TO GETTING HEALTHY AGAIN. I STILL AM VERY LIMITED BECAUSE I A...	Hoot Nanny	5	966	Oct 25, 2010 by Jerry F
	my ah is 1yr sober and my thoughts still race (Preview) I have not been on this site in a while because I felt i didnt need alonon if my ah wasnt drinking anymore. . . but the truth is when i am not working on my recovery it seems to be back firing on me. . . Im now waking up every morning with an anxious feeling that follows me thru the day. Im still thinking about wha...	rylzmama	4	491	Oct 25, 2010 by Jerry F
	Going away together this weekend--no kids (Preview) My wife & I are going away for the weekend to a friends cottage and her parents are watching the kids. I'm extremely apprehensive about this. This is only the 2nd time since we had kids that we've had some time alone (it will be just the 2 of us). Although I and our marriage counselor have told her not to...	usedtobeanyer	6	881	Oct 25, 2010 by hotrod
	Really need advice, new to all this (Preview) Hi everyone, This is my first time doing any of all of this. I will try to give yall the cliff notes to make everything easy. Ok, I am 25, my husband is 27, we have been married 5 years and have a 4 year old girl. We met when I was in the Marines, and he is still in the Navy, we met when I got hurt and was in the hospita...	hazeleyes946	10	1237	Oct 25, 2010 by Diva
	paused wedding planning - feel lost, fear fiance postpone wedding binge drinking boundaries (Preview) Hello My fiance is a binge drinker, not a terrible one but he loses control of drinking with blackout and 12+/15+ drinks around once a week. I thought he was getting better when we got engaged - very little binging - but found out since fall started that he's not. I was devastated because I am too scared to...	Imogen421	10	7633	Oct 24, 2010 by ythannah
	three newbie questions (Preview) 1. do you talk to your parents/friends about your A? Many of my friends know. I have just told my parents about my AF because of halting wedding planning and not being able to take it any more. They are very supportive and care about both of us, but especially me (which is nice, of course). I'm sad though be...	Imogen421	8	869	Oct 24, 2010 by xeno59
	A Question..... (Preview) How do you handle your fears? My AS checked himself out of rehab yesterday and called me at work to let me know. After I got off the phone my mind went into hyper-drive, I felt sick at my stomach, shaking. I hate myself for not being able to control myself better, but I could tell by how he was talking that ...	DreamsOver	3	799	Oct 24, 2010 by xeno59
	Asking for Prayers (Preview) I just wanted to ask you all to send up a little prayer today for my brother Jim. He has HepC from his past drug use. He has been in recovery almost 13 years now. He has the most virulant ( spelling) strain of HepC and no treatments have worked for him. He is now in last stage liver failure and as much as we all h...	xeno59	6	990	Oct 24, 2010 by member922
	Does your A spouse know you attend meetings? (Preview) I only attended 3 meetings, missed the last 2 and was debating whether I should attend the next one. My H came home today and announced they changed his shifts to nights, so he will be home everyday now. I didn't want him to know at least for now but if I do decide to go I have to wonder how I can go without hi...	dori711	8	1159	Oct 24, 2010 by abbyal
	Welcoming Miracles... (Preview) That is the theme for our Fall Assembly with this being the 4th year again we are the host again. I won't be crusing MIP but working it locally. Have got 66 members in service to the area coming to our side of the island and it will be super just like the last 2 I've done service with. The GRs and DRs will ar...	Jerry F	5	847	Oct 23, 2010 by Andrea12
	NEED STRENGTH, Told AH he had to go. (Preview) Its been 2 nights since my AH has slept here. He was here when I came home from work yesterday and I told him you can't stay here its not healthy for me and the kids. He was mad and said he is scared and doesnt know what to do. He has a childhood friend has is a recovering alcoholic and he got my AH into the carpent...	snodebb	4	667	Oct 23, 2010 by snodebb
	To stay or to leave?? (Preview) I know that noone can really answer this question, but I was just looking for some different perspectives. I don't live with my bf who has issues with marijuana and drinking. We have been together for like a year and a half. I have been going to therapy, attended an alanon meeting (plan on going to mor...	member922	5	1097	Oct 23, 2010 by member922
	turning it around (Preview) I am focusing way too much on my ah today. Just need to post this. My ah came to see us last weekend and now he is expecting me to reciprocate by going to see him tomorrow while his children are with him for the weekend so they can see their sister. He is trying to hook me in with feeling sorry for his children be...	kath	4	813	Oct 23, 2010 by canadianguy
	HAPPY BIRTHDAY SENORA BOB! (Preview) Our wise, wacky, wonderful Senora Bob turns 21 today! WOOHOO! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Remember calories don't count this week so you can have your and eat it too! Enjoy the birthday week. Thanks for being part of our MIP family. You're a treasure. Piper has a mouse stashed especially for you. Much lov...	Karilynn	7	952	Oct 23, 2010 by Peggy7
	Trying to be sympathetic but struggling (Preview) I posted on Tuesday that I was worried because it was AH bowling night and that guarantees alcohol. Well, it did. He also drank quite a bit yesterday and I did pretty good at avoiding confrontations and such. It helped that I had to take my girls to Girl Scouts so we were able to get out of the house for a w...	sunshinemama	4	849	Oct 22, 2010 by Cloudsea
	First Post! Ignored Family History of A's til found out Sister and Brother are AA's (Preview) Greetings, MIP'ers! It is surreal for me to be here, posting about this. I recently visited my sister, who lives a few states away, and was pretty shocked at how she is living and the state of her life. Our family of origin has a history of alcoholism, but I never took it seriously until this visit with...	SwitchedOnLotus	8	707	Oct 22, 2010 by SwitchedOnLotus
	Pretending nothing happened--how do you deal? (Preview) Forgive the double posts today, last night was a rough night. My wife has not acknowledged her drinking last night, despite it being clear to me and her parents that she was under the influence. I saw her briefly this morning before I went to work and after she got home from AA and she didn't say anything a...	usedtobeanyer	8	2739	Oct 22, 2010 by Jerry F
	Finding our way.... (Preview) Hi all.... I often quote the words from my wise old sponsor Don, who has since passed away.... I was looking for something in my garage the other day, and inadvertently came across a few of the e-mails that he had sent me years ago, as he helped me find my way in my Al-Anon recovery. The one copied below is...	canadianguy	6	736	Oct 22, 2010 by nh girl
	Been Humbled in More Ways then One... (Preview) Not Sure "Cunning" Really sums up for me the meaning of what this disease has done to me, & my Family... Today, I said fairwell to another of My Afathers friends, It was sad for more then just the reason of loss of life, but also for the things "This" disease causes others to bec...	Jozie	4	1134	Oct 21, 2010 by Christy
	Dealing with a relapse after 10 years of sobriety (Preview) After 10 years of sobriety, my partner just relapsed last week and not sure how to tackle this situation. I am in a panic as do not want all of us as a family to experience the consequences. I have suggested he goes on a relapse program but does not seem convinced. What to do?	dawntodusk	13	2470	Oct 21, 2010 by dawntodusk
	Why Don't I Feel Anything (Preview) Trying to keep a long story short, AH went to jail yesterday for 6 months for repeated DUI's. Had to give me his Blackberry and everything else before they hauled him off. He has always been able to hold a good job, in fact in management, and thought he had allies within the company who would check his em...	essgee1952	5	547	Oct 21, 2010 by essgee1952
	AH ATTEMPTED TO KILL HIMSELF 2 TIMES TONIGHT!!! (Preview) So AH tries to bump himself off twice tonight. Of cours I save him and its not the first time. I won't go into details right now. I called his sister and told her I am done can't do it anymore. She is the only family member I can talk to since she just got out of the same kind of realtionship. The rest of the 5 b...	snodebb	3	813	Oct 21, 2010 by glad lee
	Out sick again (Preview) I have had another case of a ruptured ovarian cyst that has put me out for almost a week. I called out of work the last three days, and felt terrible guilt for it. I have been working on my guilty feelings, because I don't want to upset anyone else or make anyone else have to do my job... I work the front desk...	sunflowergirl	4	858	Oct 21, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Sunday's Spiritual Meeting ~ Need Chair (Preview) I love doing the Sunday Morning Meetings here. I have only been doing them for two weeks now and I LOVE LOVE it!!! I regretably have to inform all, that I will be out of town this weekend and will not have computer access to chair the meeting, like normal. If anyone would like to step up and chair, thank yo...	kitty	0	527	Oct 21, 2010 by kitty
	Trying to detach; fiance trying to make me jealous, ugh! (Preview) I'm in here trying to clear my head.... I got so mad tonight.... did not say much, but I'm sure my face said it all. My fiance (I guess I have to call him that cause I'm still wearing the ring) was out grilling. He came in and told me that this neighbor lady that I have noticed has seemed kind of flirty with...	oklahoma momof5	4	832	Oct 21, 2010 by oklahoma momof5
	Courage to Change (Preview) I received this book yesterday in the mail and I am just thrilled with it. From the moment I started reading it, I could identify with most everything I read. I am so happy that I gave this group a try. I cannot believe that there are other people with the same issues that I have, almost exactly. I am happy...	member922	7	776	Oct 21, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Lonely and isolated after leaving ABF second time. (Preview) I am back to this message board almost two years later after leaving my alcoholic boyfriend for the second time. I got back together with him after he went through outpatient treatment and did AA and was sober for about a year, but he started drinking and lying to me about it again. Well I moved out last w...	ellens93	9	892	Oct 20, 2010 by ellens93
	Worried about tonight... (Preview) I'll start by saying that we had a pretty calm, relatively alcohol free weekend. Tonight, however, is AH's bowling league night which ALWAYS involves beer to some extent. These are the nights that AH doesn't worry about hiding the fact that he has been drinking because he knows that I already expec...	sunshinemama	4	1004	Oct 20, 2010 by SteppingUp
	Both AH and Me working on ourselves! Is this possible without ending in a divorce (Preview) My husband who is in recovery and has been for 6 months keeps on saying that he needs to do for himself and get himself better. Well, i am working on myself also but i am scared to death that all of this is just going to pull us apart and ruin our marriage in the end. I really can't stand him anymore. He acts l...	alisonf	5	732	Oct 20, 2010 by abbyal
	new heros/heroines (Preview) After working a fourth step in al anon I've found I had to change my whole view point. Like many people, Sylvia Plath was one my heroine. The aggrieved, driven crazy wife was certainly something to worship for me. I'm now finding that I don't worship the victim role anymore. Certainly I'm willing...	maresie	1	439	Oct 20, 2010 by Katy
	New here! Very Overwhelmed and not knowing what to do!!! (Preview) I went to my first meeting of Al-anon this past Sunday becuase I realize that i have issues stemming from my husband and my fathers addictions and i need to get help. Right now i feel like i am ready to blow. Trying to give my husband the time and patience while he works on his recovery. This is the third t...	alisonf	9	639	Oct 20, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Good morning, Family :) (Preview) Just wanted to say hi - haven't been around a ton in the last week or two, and I've missed you guys! Work is crazy busy and when I'm not working I'm chasing 2 little boys around - but things are good and I'm so blessed. :) I'm keeping up with my face to face meetings, just haven't had a ton of time to open the c...	White Rabbit	4	440	Oct 20, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Serious Physical Reaction to Confrontation (Preview) Just putting this out there so see if anyone else has encountered this. Realized about 6 months ago that DW was drinking a bottle of wine each night and sometimes more than that. I would cringe when I heard her pour that third, fourth and fifth glass. When she drinks she becomes confrontational and argu...	SteppingUp	15	1522	Oct 20, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Silling me took him back (Preview) I took my AH back under a promise he was not to touch drink then yesterday I knew he was at it again-just couldn't prove it, but today found 2 tins of bear in bin. Because this is to be our last chance of working things out - part of me wanted to just put them back in the bin and say nothing, but deep down I knew th...	titanicspriging	12	1022	Oct 20, 2010 by oklahoma momof5
	PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE (Preview) The 3 A's closest to me, 2 family and 1 friend, were all diagnosed passive aggressive. I read this article last night and it opened my eyes to a lot of behaviours I saw before the drinking started, and how these behaviours have been excacerbated as the drinking progresses. Its opened my eyes and I'm a...	Ness	4	1838	Oct 20, 2010 by hotrod
	Alcoholism and Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder (Preview) Curious, although I have read the book titled the Passive Aggressive Male, how that can that can tie in with alcoholism? I have one of those spouses and can definitely use the support on how to manage myself. This is very diificult, as I am sure it is for everybody, but how the he*# am I suppose the repel h...	Itsalwayshavoc	4	6862	Oct 20, 2010 by hotrod
	Feels like I failed. (Preview) Had a tough week last week. Little has changed. Husband hasn't changed and neither has the way I respond to him. I just about lost it with him and now I'm discouraged that I failed to keep my composure not only with him but with other family members thru out the week I didn't go to the Al-Anon mee...	dori711	9	858	Oct 19, 2010 by dori711
	The disease rears its ugly head this morning (Preview) So this morning AH and I are outside smoking, and out of nowhere he says to me "When I drink, and you get concerned that my drinking will get out of control, how would you feel if I just drank on the weekends?" This totally caught me off guard, and now I wish I would have answered differently. W...	kimmy1975	7	576	Oct 19, 2010 by wp
	Insanity at its finest.... ugh! (Preview) I don't even know how to start this, as it really makes no sense. While I want to put blame, I feel a bit detached (which is a surprise to me), knowing in the world of teenagers doesnt always make a whole lot of sense anyway. My son is 17 and he has a girlfriend who just turned 18. A delightful girl with a heart...	Loupiness	4	890	Oct 19, 2010 by lyndebi
	This program really works (Preview) I read about the A's radar when you start to move on with your life. I think I read about it in Getting Them Sober. The minute I started to really believe that I am going to be ok with or without him, my ah calls me out of the blue, after not speaking for three weeks. I have never been able to detach without an...	kath	5	1092	Oct 19, 2010 by canadianguy
	An Eden Adventure (Preview) My young couple who have boarded their animals with me for over a year got a neat place. So we got ready to load up the animals to go. I put a chute up, they arranged the guy to do it. The guy with the livestock trailor canceled. rrrrrr so I told the kids, ok we transport them in our cars....My young couple who...	lyndebi	0	549	Oct 19, 2010 by lyndebi
	Passive Aggressive Behavior (Preview) I need advice on how to deal with passive aggressive behavior. This is where my dh gets me most. He was sober for 15 years and that's always been his way. Getting pouty, walking out of a room, giving the silent treatment, baiting you with his comments to get you to engage or fight with him, etc. I've be...	ilovedogs	4	2026	Oct 19, 2010 by ilovedogs
	Specific examples of how to detach (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm hoping some others here can provide some specific examples of ways they detach from their partner. I'm finding it to be hard and rather than detaching I'm dismissing. Which is working well for me but not for her. I read someone else post about how they "detached with anger"...	usedtobeanyer	9	2130	Oct 19, 2010 by usedtobeanyer
	Trying Not To Give Him The Power..... (Preview) My AS is in drug rehab, he has visiting privileges on Sunday's. When I visit him he does everything he can to upset me, pull me into his drama of his drug use, that has given our family so much pain. We have tried to help him but until he wants recovery we can't make it happen for him. When I get home I am a wre...	DreamsOver	2	723	Oct 19, 2010 by abbyal
	Willingness and Willfulness (Preview) When I first got here I was full of willfulness. When people suggested something or a skill I could master, I felt that I "should" not have to do that. I held onto the willfulness as a way to show my anger, resentment, hurt and fear. I absolutely did not want to accept the now ex AH was absolut...	maresie	1	1094	Oct 18, 2010 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.