Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

This weekend we are celebrating Thanksgiving early. We have family coming in from out of town (all AH's side of the family). We are hosting it at our house. We started this tradition last year. Everyone comes to our house, and everyone helps out in preparing the meal. We don't eat a traditional Th...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok I had told ya's about finding a childhood friend and that I was Nervous about meeting her, because she was one of the Very Few "Kids" that were in my alcoholic home and seen and knew how my family worked... because her family was not far from the same... WELL, I had put off calling her, and wo...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Yesterday was a hard day. I started out being yelled at my ex-husband for something dumb. I fell for it and joined the arguement when I shouldn't have. I realized through talking with my sponsor that I needed to find a boundary and to not fall into the trap of letting him hook me in to the fight. I am not...

melissimala · melissimala

Went to the the first meeting last night and it went well. Lots of heartbreaking stories there and lots of people that know exactly what you are going through and they are not judgemental. What a nice thing. I almost backed out but pushed myself to go. My alcoholic boyfirend, while he says he has qui...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Tricia's post that had a couple sentences about movies made me think of this - I didn't want to hijack her thread so I'm starting my own. :) Seems like that my whole life, I haven't been able to cry in front of most other people. I can cry by myself, and I can cry in front of my AH, but not my mother or other peo...

Kaysi · Kaysi

Long story short my Dad is currently on a major binge. I don't know if he is still drinking or tying to "come down" as he refers to it. Currently he is alone in one of our vacant rental properties just drinking and drinking. I told my mother and sister that I would go today and check on him to see if...

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi, everyone: I have been coming here for several months and find the posts and the dialogue and support here so beneficial. I also go to f2f meetings. I thought I would share something I struggled with and which I have had a realization about -- validation. My AH is now in recovery. When he first went...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

For the kind thoughts, words and ideas. Surgery is 6 Am tomorrow!!!! Just found out the time. Of course things are more hectic than usual today as Murphy's Law has once again reared it's ugly head. Wife late from school, have to drive daughter to MIL then race back to work. Daughter does all her hom...

sarebaer · sarebaer

I have been with my AH for 11 years. Through the first few years he was very physically and mentaly abusive and would disappear while on a binge with friends for days. After a few arrest for domestic violance and short tme in jail he did stop the physical abuse. He still drank everyday but certain thi...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well this past weekend was our AlAnon conference. I do believe we had over 350 in attendance and it was a beautiful, faith filled weekend....actually that was the topic-FAITH-Fantasic Adventures in Trusting Higher Power. Well due to where I am with my uncle's health situation, I have been questio...

Pilgrim Girl · Pilgrim Girl

Hi, This is my first post in this forum. I have been in Alanon for 6 years. Making progress slowly, but surely. This is the time of the year we always start talking about preparing for the holidays. I use to busy myself decorating and baking and building myself up for the wonderful holiday that never...

Gailey · Gailey

This morning I was feeling generally happy. I feel like that more now since my son has moved away. The problem is this. As soon as I noticed I was feeling happy I turned my focus on to his life and his problems. Well, needless to say, that sent my happy feeling right down the drain. Why do you think I did that?...

tlcate · tlcate

So I can't deal with or express anger. Period. No gray areas. I can watch a bloody war movie and not flinch. I watch a chick flic, like I did tonight - Love Happens - and I see someone about to get mad - I don't just cover my eyes - I leave the room. Funny thing is - my reaction to sadness or fear or anything unco...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

He made the appointment, to help our relationship and get an official word on the issue. We're going together, at his therapist's suggestion (eval. is not with his therapist). I'm really nervous and hope it will go well, be useful, be healing, etc. Anyone been through this, know what to expect? Advic...

Suzannah · Suzannah

After yesterday's debarcle I can report that further communications with my daughter led to my succeeding in getting a turn around and a half apology...I say half because she may have said the words but it needs to be actioned too and I have to wait and see for that. However, I realise I am being too harsh...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I am learning to keep my body language in check. Each moment is a moment that I have to do this though. I hope to one day not have to constantly check in with myself and say "don't give away so much info with what your body is saying". I also have become more conscious of other people's body lan...

RLC · RLC

A man had been going to his therapist for over a year twice a week at $80 per visit. His problem, since his childhood he had reocurring nightmares that someone or something was sleeping under his bed at night. His concern had taken a tremendous toll on him he never got a good nights sleep. His therapist...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

I seem to be having a lot of breakthroughs recently, a couple of which I've already posted about. Last night was another breakthrough night for me. I went to my f2f meeting last night (which was an excellent meeting on the topic of taking care of yourself), and when I came home, AH didn't seem like hims...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I get to go out and play. Aloha Ohana (family) and just had to post this before finishing up the day here on the Big Island. I was thinking about all the fun I got to have in the past several years of the Al-Anon program. Why I feel sooo much freer, happy and confident. It's because when you practice, pr...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I've been feeling ok, grateful even lately and generally satisfied and happy. But I'm feeling my mood turn little by little....some things I think are causing it are: 1. i"m having knee surgery (arthro, torn cartlidge) on Thursday and I'm a little afraid. Also I feel concerned that I'll be si...

failte · failte

Hi, my son is 23 still lives at home and for the last 3 years has been drinking 7 nights a week, he works part time but had the oppurtunity to work full time for the last 6 years and has repeatedly turned it down, he pays minimal board and lodging, and says his life is comforatable, he wont acknowledge any res...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF is in recovery and really trying to fight his illness. He is doing really well and sems to be committed to his recovery. My resentmets are getting hold og me again he has been in there 3 months and has another 3 months to go it is quite an intense programme. He is allowed home now at weekends and we ar...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I did not want to come to work today. I got an email last night from one of the bosses regarding a file I worked on yesterday. Looked like the client had some questions about our work and maybe something might have gotten messed up. Reading the email, I felt a little panicked. I started to project abou...

SteppingUp · SteppingUp

The other night we caught our son lying about doing his homework... again. W told him to go to bed. He turned (with a dramatic huff) and left. She didn't like his attitude and grabbed him by the arm (probably some nails involved here). He called her a bitch. I had to step in and tell him that he can never talk...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Some of you will know that my relationship with my children is a very difficult one simply because they blame ME for all the trouble and strife of their early years when I was being abused by their AF who was rather violent toward me and very neglectful of them. It has taken me years of living through bully...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

There is something that I recently learned that I can use in all areas of my life, not just with my relationship with AH. I thought I would pass it along in case it may help someone else. Let me back up just a little bit to give a small back story... Last night, we were all watching tv, and AH got up and said he...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

For all the progress I feel like I have made, I took such a giant step backwards this morning and I'm really upset with myself. Last night, I went grocery shopping for my wife. We had decided a couple of weeks ago that we would go grocery shopping together on Monday nights. She had indicated to me that this...

just Rose · just Rose

I found these message boards through my desperation last week and started reading each and every post trying to find relief. For the last several days I've kept reading. Yesterday after another painful episode w/my husband I somehow found the patience, kindness, focus, to address our situation...

stephaniej · stephaniej

today is what I call a low self esteem day. For various reasons, I have not felt good about myself today. I have found myself dwelling on my own past mistakes, as well as many of the hurtful things my AH has said and done. I've been trying to refocus my energy, but it has been tough. However, I want to claim my...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

What a beautiful sight.....Love ya all Andrea

RecoverySeeker · RecoverySeeker

I find myself turning to Alanon once again after walking away nearly 2 years ago. I was attending face to face meetings, had a sponsor, and was working the steps. However, I got pregnant, had a baby, and completely lost touch with the program and myself. I don't have the ability to make it to face to face m...

New User Settings in MIP · tlcate

If you visit multiple MIP groups you can now upgrade your user info to log you into all sites with the same info. This might not be so new, but I just found it and thought I would share. Kind of cool. I was here logged in, then I opened the step work page and it auto logged in, same for the AA page. Gotta love c...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Can you help me with this? This is the message I get.... "Error:Unable to load interface pixx: java lang security exception trusted loader attempted to load sandboxed resource from http;//www12stepforum I have tried to update Java but really am not tech savy so haven`t a clue what I`am doing....

member922 · member922

I have been spending many days reading and rereading the post that Tom put up from Toby's site. The one regarding the mini interventions. The holding of the boundary. Wow. Everytime I read it, I see how true it is. I just have to update and say that I haven't talked with the exAbf for a couple of weeks....

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I had a few moments this weekend that really made me think Im starting to get this and making progress. 1. On Saturday morning, before her AA meeting, my wife told me that she had bought a bottle of wine on Friday night when I thought she was out running an errand and sat in a parking lot in the car with it, bu...

sunshinemama · sunshinemama

Whenever AH is drinking or even if I suspect he is, I find myself disagreeing with every thing he says or does. I usually keep my mouth shut and avoid argument. Actually, I find that I have to completely avoid him. Even if what he says makes sense - I don't want to agree with him because I can't let go of th...

dcot · dcot

I'm brand new here, and am the adult child of an alcoholic. My father has been an alcoholic my whole life, and though put my siblings and I in danger with his drinking, has never abused us. However, he has been arrested on a DUI charge previously and was given an ultimatum by my mother that if he didn't stop...

LotsoDreams · LotsoDreams

to start... I'm completely new to all this and I am just hoping it can help me become better as a person and I guess hope for a better future for my children. I'm married to an alcoholic he knows he's an alcoholic but does not feel he needs to stop drinking or fix anything cause it's not broken. Drinking caus...

maresie · maresie

As I watch my neighbors set up for the holiday ahead, I see how much in the past I set myself up to live in a sea of resentment. In fact in some ways I have resentments to process from the past that I have not let go of yet. I still have to really accept that sick people will still be sick people on the holidays....

Samsgram · Samsgram

Someone contacted the dept. of social services here in the state (now called DCF)regarding concern for my grandaughter with my daughter if she is drinking and driving with my gd. More may have been mentioned but all I do know is that my daughter got a call this week from the counselor at my gd`s school ti...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

There was a time when I reacted and responded to everyone else in my life and had no time for me or my own direction. Their lives, problems, wants and needs ruled me. I am realizing that it is ok to think about me, and identify what I want and need. To concentrate on my stuff. When I look at the others and...

member922 · member922

I feel like I was doing so well. I know it's normal to go the other way. I feel like I am doing the right thing, but I feel so lonely and alone. How do we cope with this? Holidays are coming and I have my 2 kids, but no other family. I share time with my ExH, so I won't be with them all the time. I need to get out of...

susie56543 · susie56543

So lately I've been feeling my serenity slip. I just haven't been feeling like myself! Usually I would've never noticed this happen. I would have felt resentment towards my A for "making" me stressed out. I thought about this for a while- Why don't I feel at peace? I knew it was because I was t...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I am not longing for my AH or wanting him around. Only because I know he is not him since the brain surgery. So in ways it makes it easier to let go. Almost all my life I did long for him.Or keep a flame in my heart. I had a horrible NIGHTMARE, dream last night. He was working at Crabtree, a little town.I had som...

SophiaBlue · SophiaBlue

After 11 years of inconsistency, pain, and being second to whatever "drug of choice," my alcoholic is choosing this time around, I'm still getting tripped up in my own codependency. I know to go easy on myself...I can't do this perfectly and to take it one day at a time. I wonder if anyone els...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

1. happiness is like physical conditioning...it must be practiced regularly in order to maintain. To actually make gains takes harder work. 2. Same with overall recovery. Use it or lose it. Must be worked on constantly...you never "arrive" and then be able to stop without sliding...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

Apparently AH is noticing a difference in me since I have been attending f2f meetings. Thursday night, I came home from a f2f meeting, and found AH outside drinking with the neighbors. After I put my things away in the house, I went next door to see what was going on. When I got there, AH said they had ju...

Bettina · Bettina

Sorry I was not able to come back on and let you know (whoever was interested) that Dr. Phil (appeared with my daughter to tell our story of abduction) was postponed and may not air until Jan. I will keep you posted. Thanks, Bettina

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Xeno, I'm thinking of your suggestion as I write this. Mood is better since yesterday....why? No huge reason. Probably an accumulation of small things and perhaps some biology. What did I do yesterday? Spent some time with my daughter including going to lunch at Subway and running errands toget...

sunshinemama · sunshinemama

Last night whilte seriously drunk - my AH pulled our 9yr old daughter aside (without me knowing his intent) and informed her that he is sick with a disease. That his disease is being an alcoholic and that he doesn't like it. He told her that he is quitting immediately. I am unsure how I feel about him te...

Bettina · Bettina

Hi Everyone, so good to be back, first of all I moved which was major after being in my place for 15 years so it was a major downsizing as I moved to a one bedroom apartment and then before I moved my computer crashed. You know all know Murphy's Law. Anyway, Im in my new place with my two wonder dogs Luca and Tri...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

recently started couples counseling and basically I'm going through the motions....I don't like the way I'm treated...sure it's ok for some days but crap happens that I feel is just unacceptable way too much. I don't believe anything is going to change because she isn't working on herself at all. ...

Megthompson · Megthompson

hi all just wondering why no friday meeting going on in chat room.do i have the time wrong?is there any online meeting going on now (al anon) i can go to? thanks meg

AmyWillWin · AmyWillWin

I'm leaning heavily on the serenity prayer right now. BB says you have to accept how people are and worry about yourself. How exactly are you supposed to do that when there are kids involved? My ex has his own demons. Booze, pills, mental health, even some illegal things...purportedly. I left h...

member922 · member922

Ugh! I am glad when I have no contact with the exAbf. I always seem to be curious though to know what is going on with him, what he's up to blah blah blah. Then when I hear stuff, I get mad. I do not want to think one thing about him! I do not need to know anything. I cannot bother with what is going on in his...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I'm really struggling right now....and I'm tired of struggling....on meds, in therapy, attend meeting when possible.....and things at home have been relatively quite lately.....can't blame the wife currently for how I feel..... I just can't get past the sadness.....joy or happiness is so flee...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone. I'm curious if your A's also suffer from mental health issues? I'm kinda feeling all alone in what I've been dealing with, like there couldn't possibly be anyone else in the world having to deal with all the 'xxxx' I've dealt with. My AH has always had anxiety - GAD, Generalized Anxiety Di...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

I'm so sick of living at my house right now. My family is pushing me away every chance they get. I went to the grocery store tonight with my ex a so we could talk and try to just be friends. I asked my dad if I could go and he said yes. Then my mom calls me an hour later asking me who I was with. I told her to ask my dad a...

Goodtillitsbad · Goodtillitsbad

I've been working hard at my steps and starting to skim the surface of Step 4. I've had a few slips but I've gotten back on the horse and I've caught myself a LOT quicker. My AH has been (supposedly, but none of my business) sober for over 3 months now and I have noticed marked changes in his behavior. This is...

member922 · member922

I am going to snuggle in a blanket now and read to start my weekend off. I am going to a couple of craft shows tomorrow with a girlfriend and taking it easy on Sunday!! I am looking forward to a very relaxing time with no worries about any A's, no anger and no waste of time. Just doing whatever I choose. What...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Nervous about this weekend (Preview) This weekend we are celebrating Thanksgiving early. We have family coming in from out of town (all AH's side of the family). We are hosting it at our house. We started this tradition last year. Everyone comes to our house, and everyone helps out in preparing the meal. We don't eat a traditional Th...	kimmy1975	2	946	Nov 19, 2010 by abbyal
	So Glad I Said Yes! (Preview) Ok I had told ya's about finding a childhood friend and that I was Nervous about meeting her, because she was one of the Very Few "Kids" that were in my alcoholic home and seen and knew how my family worked... because her family was not far from the same... WELL, I had put off calling her, and wo...	Jozie	4	546	Nov 19, 2010 by hotrod
	Learning more and more to detach from the disease (Preview) Yesterday was a hard day. I started out being yelled at my ex-husband for something dumb. I fell for it and joined the arguement when I shouldn't have. I realized through talking with my sponsor that I needed to find a boundary and to not fall into the trap of letting him hook me in to the fight. I am not...	sunflowergirl	5	738	Nov 19, 2010 by ythannah
	Made it to the first meeting (Preview) Went to the the first meeting last night and it went well. Lots of heartbreaking stories there and lots of people that know exactly what you are going through and they are not judgemental. What a nice thing. I almost backed out but pushed myself to go. My alcoholic boyfirend, while he says he has qui...	melissimala	6	619	Nov 19, 2010 by SteppingUp
	Crying in front of others (Preview) Tricia's post that had a couple sentences about movies made me think of this - I didn't want to hijack her thread so I'm starting my own. :) Seems like that my whole life, I haven't been able to cry in front of most other people. I can cry by myself, and I can cry in front of my AH, but not my mother or other peo...	White Rabbit	9	864	Nov 19, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Advice.. (Preview) Long story short my Dad is currently on a major binge. I don't know if he is still drinking or tying to "come down" as he refers to it. Currently he is alone in one of our vacant rental properties just drinking and drinking. I told my mother and sister that I would go today and check on him to see if...	Kaysi	6	626	Nov 19, 2010 by abbyal
	Validation (Preview) Hi, everyone: I have been coming here for several months and find the posts and the dialogue and support here so beneficial. I also go to f2f meetings. I thought I would share something I struggled with and which I have had a realization about -- validation. My AH is now in recovery. When he first went...	Cloudsea	13	1097	Nov 18, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Thanks everyone.... (Preview) For the kind thoughts, words and ideas. Surgery is 6 Am tomorrow!!!! Just found out the time. Of course things are more hectic than usual today as Murphy's Law has once again reared it's ugly head. Wife late from school, have to drive daughter to MIL then race back to work. Daughter does all her hom...	mjhyankees	4	432	Nov 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Still very new to the process (Preview) I have been with my AH for 11 years. Through the first few years he was very physically and mentaly abusive and would disappear while on a binge with friends for days. After a few arrest for domestic violance and short tme in jail he did stop the physical abuse. He still drank everyday but certain thi...	sarebaer	4	837	Nov 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Always growing in this program (Preview) Well this past weekend was our AlAnon conference. I do believe we had over 350 in attendance and it was a beautiful, faith filled weekend....actually that was the topic-FAITH-Fantasic Adventures in Trusting Higher Power. Well due to where I am with my uncle's health situation, I have been questio...	shellyj123	2	515	Nov 18, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Truly enjoying the holidays (Preview) Hi, This is my first post in this forum. I have been in Alanon for 6 years. Making progress slowly, but surely. This is the time of the year we always start talking about preparing for the holidays. I use to busy myself decorating and baking and building myself up for the wonderful holiday that never...	Pilgrim Girl	3	906	Nov 18, 2010 by kitty
	something I noticed about the way I was feeling (Preview) This morning I was feeling generally happy. I feel like that more now since my son has moved away. The problem is this. As soon as I noticed I was feeling happy I turned my focus on to his life and his problems. Well, needless to say, that sent my happy feeling right down the drain. Why do you think I did that?...	Gailey	7	798	Nov 18, 2010 by Jerry F
	Post regarding anger - anyone like this? (Preview) So I can't deal with or express anger. Period. No gray areas. I can watch a bloody war movie and not flinch. I watch a chick flic, like I did tonight - Love Happens - and I see someone about to get mad - I don't just cover my eyes - I leave the room. Funny thing is - my reaction to sadness or fear or anything unco...	tlcate	9	932	Nov 18, 2010 by dori711
	Chemical Dependency assessment for a. fiance today - ESH appreciated (Preview) He made the appointment, to help our relationship and get an official word on the issue. We're going together, at his therapist's suggestion (eval. is not with his therapist). I'm really nervous and hope it will go well, be useful, be healing, etc. Anyone been through this, know what to expect? Advic...	Imogen421	11	986	Nov 17, 2010 by Imogen421
	Gently gently...I am too hard on myself (Preview) After yesterday's debarcle I can report that further communications with my daughter led to my succeeding in getting a turn around and a half apology...I say half because she may have said the words but it needs to be actioned too and I have to wait and see for that. However, I realise I am being too harsh...	Suzannah	6	860	Nov 17, 2010 by mjhyankees
	More on body language (Preview) I am learning to keep my body language in check. Each moment is a moment that I have to do this though. I hope to one day not have to constantly check in with myself and say "don't give away so much info with what your body is saying". I also have become more conscious of other people's body lan...	sunflowergirl	3	774	Nov 17, 2010 by Jerry F
	Al-Anon Is A Common Sense Program (Humor) (Preview) A man had been going to his therapist for over a year twice a week at $80 per visit. His problem, since his childhood he had reocurring nightmares that someone or something was sleeping under his bed at night. His concern had taken a tremendous toll on him he never got a good nights sleep. His therapist...	RLC	7	944	Nov 17, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	More progress (Preview) I seem to be having a lot of breakthroughs recently, a couple of which I've already posted about. Last night was another breakthrough night for me. I went to my f2f meeting last night (which was an excellent meeting on the topic of taking care of yourself), and when I came home, AH didn't seem like hims...	kimmy1975	5	699	Nov 17, 2010 by Jerry F
	Homework's done... (Preview) I get to go out and play. Aloha Ohana (family) and just had to post this before finishing up the day here on the Big Island. I was thinking about all the fun I got to have in the past several years of the Al-Anon program. Why I feel sooo much freer, happy and confident. It's because when you practice, pr...	Jerry F	7	785	Nov 17, 2010 by canadianguy
	Feel a negative mood coming on.... (Preview) I've been feeling ok, grateful even lately and generally satisfied and happy. But I'm feeling my mood turn little by little....some things I think are causing it are: 1. i"m having knee surgery (arthro, torn cartlidge) on Thursday and I'm a little afraid. Also I feel concerned that I'll be si...	mjhyankees	7	684	Nov 17, 2010 by xeno59
	desperately need advice (Preview) Hi, my son is 23 still lives at home and for the last 3 years has been drinking 7 nights a week, he works part time but had the oppurtunity to work full time for the last 6 years and has repeatedly turned it down, he pays minimal board and lodging, and says his life is comforatable, he wont acknowledge any res...	failte	8	895	Nov 17, 2010 by hotrod
	at war with resentment (Preview) My ABF is in recovery and really trying to fight his illness. He is doing really well and sems to be committed to his recovery. My resentmets are getting hold og me again he has been in there 3 months and has another 3 months to go it is quite an intense programme. He is allowed home now at weekends and we ar...	Tracy	6	970	Nov 17, 2010 by kitty
	Childhood experiences affect professional relationships as well as family relationships (Preview) I did not want to come to work today. I got an email last night from one of the bosses regarding a file I worked on yesterday. Looked like the client had some questions about our work and maybe something might have gotten messed up. Reading the email, I felt a little panicked. I started to project abou...	White Rabbit	5	1244	Nov 16, 2010 by Christy
	Am I letting my son down? (Preview) The other night we caught our son lying about doing his homework... again. W told him to go to bed. He turned (with a dramatic huff) and left. She didn't like his attitude and grabbed him by the arm (probably some nails involved here). He called her a bitch. I had to step in and tell him that he can never talk...	SteppingUp	5	812	Nov 16, 2010 by maire rua
	SO MUCH FOR RECOVERY and progress...a long way to go...keep on making mistakes... (Preview) Some of you will know that my relationship with my children is a very difficult one simply because they blame ME for all the trouble and strife of their early years when I was being abused by their AF who was rather violent toward me and very neglectful of them. It has taken me years of living through bully...	Suzannah	4	516	Nov 16, 2010 by glad lee
	Something I've learned (Preview) There is something that I recently learned that I can use in all areas of my life, not just with my relationship with AH. I thought I would pass it along in case it may help someone else. Let me back up just a little bit to give a small back story... Last night, we were all watching tv, and AH got up and said he...	kimmy1975	7	732	Nov 16, 2010 by wp
	SO mad at myself... (Preview) For all the progress I feel like I have made, I took such a giant step backwards this morning and I'm really upset with myself. Last night, I went grocery shopping for my wife. We had decided a couple of weeks ago that we would go grocery shopping together on Monday nights. She had indicated to me that this...	usedtobeanyer	12	845	Nov 16, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	If you've posted last few days THANK YOU (Preview) I found these message boards through my desperation last week and started reading each and every post trying to find relief. For the last several days I've kept reading. Yesterday after another painful episode w/my husband I somehow found the patience, kindness, focus, to address our situation...	just Rose	6	751	Nov 16, 2010 by mjhyankees
	The silver lining in a low self esteem day (Preview) today is what I call a low self esteem day. For various reasons, I have not felt good about myself today. I have found myself dwelling on my own past mistakes, as well as many of the hurtful things my AH has said and done. I've been trying to refocus my energy, but it has been tough. However, I want to claim my...	stephaniej	5	3065	Nov 16, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Santa and Kendra (Preview) What a beautiful sight.....Love ya all Andrea	Andrea12	2	917	Nov 16, 2010 by xeno59
	Where to begin? (Preview) I find myself turning to Alanon once again after walking away nearly 2 years ago. I was attending face to face meetings, had a sponsor, and was working the steps. However, I got pregnant, had a baby, and completely lost touch with the program and myself. I don't have the ability to make it to face to face m...	RecoverySeeker	4	800	Nov 16, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	New User Settings in MIP (Preview) If you visit multiple MIP groups you can now upgrade your user info to log you into all sites with the same info. This might not be so new, but I just found it and thought I would share. Kind of cool. I was here logged in, then I opened the step work page and it auto logged in, same for the AA page. Gotta love c...	tlcate	3	759	Nov 16, 2010 by tlcate
	Can`t Get In to Chat or Meetings (Preview) Can you help me with this? This is the message I get.... "Error:Unable to load interface pixx: java lang security exception trusted loader attempted to load sandboxed resource from http;//www12stepforum I have tried to update Java but really am not tech savy so haven`t a clue what I`am doing....	Samsgram	2	746	Nov 16, 2010 by kitty
	Detachment and boundaries DO work! (Preview) I have been spending many days reading and rereading the post that Tom put up from Toby's site. The one regarding the mini interventions. The holding of the boundary. Wow. Everytime I read it, I see how true it is. I just have to update and say that I haven't talked with the exAbf for a couple of weeks....	member922	9	1306	Nov 16, 2010 by this too shall pass
	Baby steps (Preview) I had a few moments this weekend that really made me think Im starting to get this and making progress. 1. On Saturday morning, before her AA meeting, my wife told me that she had bought a bottle of wine on Friday night when I thought she was out running an errand and sat in a parking lot in the car with it, bu...	usedtobeanyer	12	849	Nov 15, 2010 by usedtobeanyer
	Can't seem to keep an open mind... (Preview) Whenever AH is drinking or even if I suspect he is, I find myself disagreeing with every thing he says or does. I usually keep my mouth shut and avoid argument. Actually, I find that I have to completely avoid him. Even if what he says makes sense - I don't want to agree with him because I can't let go of th...	sunshinemama	8	970	Nov 15, 2010 by member922
	Need advice (Preview) I'm brand new here, and am the adult child of an alcoholic. My father has been an alcoholic my whole life, and though put my siblings and I in danger with his drinking, has never abused us. However, he has been arrested on a DUI charge previously and was given an ultimatum by my mother that if he didn't stop...	dcot	11	779	Nov 15, 2010 by member922
	Hoping this is the right place.. (Preview) to start... I'm completely new to all this and I am just hoping it can help me become better as a person and I guess hope for a better future for my children. I'm married to an alcoholic he knows he's an alcoholic but does not feel he needs to stop drinking or fix anything cause it's not broken. Drinking caus...	LotsoDreams	9	601	Nov 15, 2010 by LotsoDreams
	resentments and expectations (Preview) As I watch my neighbors set up for the holiday ahead, I see how much in the past I set myself up to live in a sea of resentment. In fact in some ways I have resentments to process from the past that I have not let go of yet. I still have to really accept that sick people will still be sick people on the holidays....	maresie	7	1346	Nov 15, 2010 by maire rua
	Thought I`d Share This... (Preview) Someone contacted the dept. of social services here in the state (now called DCF)regarding concern for my grandaughter with my daughter if she is drinking and driving with my gd. More may have been mentioned but all I do know is that my daughter got a call this week from the counselor at my gd`s school ti...	Samsgram	8	1478	Nov 15, 2010 by Samsgram
	I took on their emotions... (Preview) There was a time when I reacted and responded to everyone else in my life and had no time for me or my own direction. Their lives, problems, wants and needs ruled me. I am realizing that it is ok to think about me, and identify what I want and need. To concentrate on my stuff. When I look at the others and...	sunflowergirl	6	855	Nov 15, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Feeling lonely... (Preview) I feel like I was doing so well. I know it's normal to go the other way. I feel like I am doing the right thing, but I feel so lonely and alone. How do we cope with this? Holidays are coming and I have my 2 kids, but no other family. I share time with my ExH, so I won't be with them all the time. I need to get out of...	member922	6	938	Nov 15, 2010 by member922
	Slipping Serenity (Preview) So lately I've been feeling my serenity slip. I just haven't been feeling like myself! Usually I would've never noticed this happen. I would have felt resentment towards my A for "making" me stressed out. I thought about this for a while- Why don't I feel at peace? I knew it was because I was t...	susie56543	3	647	Nov 15, 2010 by kitty
	residual deep deep pain (Preview) I am not longing for my AH or wanting him around. Only because I know he is not him since the brain surgery. So in ways it makes it easier to let go. Almost all my life I did long for him.Or keep a flame in my heart. I had a horrible NIGHTMARE, dream last night. He was working at Crabtree, a little town.I had som...	lyndebi	9	1427	Nov 15, 2010 by kitty
	Sometimes its just too darn much.... (Preview) After 11 years of inconsistency, pain, and being second to whatever "drug of choice," my alcoholic is choosing this time around, I'm still getting tripped up in my own codependency. I know to go easy on myself...I can't do this perfectly and to take it one day at a time. I wonder if anyone els...	SophiaBlue	2	808	Nov 15, 2010 by xeno59
	Things I've learned....that I still forget sometimes.... (Preview) 1. happiness is like physical conditioning...it must be practiced regularly in order to maintain. To actually make gains takes harder work. 2. Same with overall recovery. Use it or lose it. Must be worked on constantly...you never "arrive" and then be able to stop without sliding...	mjhyankees	3	784	Nov 15, 2010 by Suzannah
	Making progress (Preview) Apparently AH is noticing a difference in me since I have been attending f2f meetings. Thursday night, I came home from a f2f meeting, and found AH outside drinking with the neighbors. After I put my things away in the house, I went next door to see what was going on. When I got there, AH said they had ju...	kimmy1975	7	748	Nov 14, 2010 by kimmy1975
	about Dr. Phil (Preview) Sorry I was not able to come back on and let you know (whoever was interested) that Dr. Phil (appeared with my daughter to tell our story of abduction) was postponed and may not air until Jan. I will keep you posted. Thanks, Bettina	Bettina	2	952	Nov 14, 2010 by Bettina
	The upside of the roller coaster..... (Preview) Xeno, I'm thinking of your suggestion as I write this. Mood is better since yesterday....why? No huge reason. Probably an accumulation of small things and perhaps some biology. What did I do yesterday? Spent some time with my daughter including going to lunch at Subway and running errands toget...	mjhyankees	1	693	Nov 14, 2010 by xeno59
	AH told 9yr old daughter that he is an alcoholic.. (Preview) Last night whilte seriously drunk - my AH pulled our 9yr old daughter aside (without me knowing his intent) and informed her that he is sick with a disease. That his disease is being an alcoholic and that he doesn't like it. He told her that he is quitting immediately. I am unsure how I feel about him te...	sunshinemama	7	793	Nov 14, 2010 by blender_girl
	Great to be back and connected (Preview) Hi Everyone, so good to be back, first of all I moved which was major after being in my place for 15 years so it was a major downsizing as I moved to a one bedroom apartment and then before I moved my computer crashed. You know all know Murphy's Law. Anyway, Im in my new place with my two wonder dogs Luca and Tri...	Bettina	5	700	Nov 14, 2010 by Bettina
	I'm so tired of being treated like this..... (Preview) recently started couples counseling and basically I'm going through the motions....I don't like the way I'm treated...sure it's ok for some days but crap happens that I feel is just unacceptable way too much. I don't believe anything is going to change because she isn't working on herself at all. ...	mjhyankees	6	1354	Nov 13, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	how come no friday meeting going on right now in chat (Preview) hi all just wondering why no friday meeting going on in chat room.do i have the time wrong?is there any online meeting going on now (al anon) i can go to? thanks meg	Megthompson	5	659	Nov 13, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	Help! (Preview) I'm leaning heavily on the serenity prayer right now. BB says you have to accept how people are and worry about yourself. How exactly are you supposed to do that when there are kids involved? My ex has his own demons. Booze, pills, mental health, even some illegal things...purportedly. I left h...	AmyWillWin	6	895	Nov 13, 2010 by tlcate
	Why can't I stand info as much as I want to know??? (Preview) Ugh! I am glad when I have no contact with the exAbf. I always seem to be curious though to know what is going on with him, what he's up to blah blah blah. Then when I hear stuff, I get mad. I do not want to think one thing about him! I do not need to know anything. I cannot bother with what is going on in his...	member922	5	882	Nov 13, 2010 by member922
	still struggling with feelings.......... (Preview) I'm really struggling right now....and I'm tired of struggling....on meds, in therapy, attend meeting when possible.....and things at home have been relatively quite lately.....can't blame the wife currently for how I feel..... I just can't get past the sadness.....joy or happiness is so flee...	mjhyankees	8	1293	Nov 13, 2010 by glad lee
	Alcoholism and Mental Health (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm curious if your A's also suffer from mental health issues? I'm kinda feeling all alone in what I've been dealing with, like there couldn't possibly be anyone else in the world having to deal with all the 'xxxx' I've dealt with. My AH has always had anxiety - GAD, Generalized Anxiety Di...	danielle0516	12	848	Nov 13, 2010 by danielle0516
	My family is driving me insane (Preview) I'm so sick of living at my house right now. My family is pushing me away every chance they get. I went to the grocery store tonight with my ex a so we could talk and try to just be friends. I asked my dad if I could go and he said yes. Then my mom calls me an hour later asking me who I was with. I told her to ask my dad a...	Brookiebabe222	6	786	Nov 13, 2010 by xeno59
	Surprised at my feelings lately (Preview) I've been working hard at my steps and starting to skim the surface of Step 4. I've had a few slips but I've gotten back on the horse and I've caught myself a LOT quicker. My AH has been (supposedly, but none of my business) sober for over 3 months now and I have noticed marked changes in his behavior. This is...	Goodtillitsbad	5	690	Nov 13, 2010 by Bettina
	Weekend Plans??? (Preview) I am going to snuggle in a blanket now and read to start my weekend off. I am going to a couple of craft shows tomorrow with a girlfriend and taking it easy on Sunday!! I am looking forward to a very relaxing time with no worries about any A's, no anger and no waste of time. Just doing whatever I choose. What...	member922	4	660	Nov 13, 2010 by member922
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