Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sunshinemama · sunshinemama

Whenever AH is drinking or even if I suspect he is, I find myself disagreeing with every thing he says or does. I usually keep my mouth shut and avoid argument. Actually, I find that I have to completely avoid him. Even if what he says makes sense - I don't want to agree with him because I can't let go of th...

dcot · dcot

I'm brand new here, and am the adult child of an alcoholic. My father has been an alcoholic my whole life, and though put my siblings and I in danger with his drinking, has never abused us. However, he has been arrested on a DUI charge previously and was given an ultimatum by my mother that if he didn't stop...

LotsoDreams · LotsoDreams

to start... I'm completely new to all this and I am just hoping it can help me become better as a person and I guess hope for a better future for my children. I'm married to an alcoholic he knows he's an alcoholic but does not feel he needs to stop drinking or fix anything cause it's not broken. Drinking caus...

maresie · maresie

As I watch my neighbors set up for the holiday ahead, I see how much in the past I set myself up to live in a sea of resentment. In fact in some ways I have resentments to process from the past that I have not let go of yet. I still have to really accept that sick people will still be sick people on the holidays....

Samsgram · Samsgram

Someone contacted the dept. of social services here in the state (now called DCF)regarding concern for my grandaughter with my daughter if she is drinking and driving with my gd. More may have been mentioned but all I do know is that my daughter got a call this week from the counselor at my gd`s school ti...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

There was a time when I reacted and responded to everyone else in my life and had no time for me or my own direction. Their lives, problems, wants and needs ruled me. I am realizing that it is ok to think about me, and identify what I want and need. To concentrate on my stuff. When I look at the others and...

member922 · member922

I feel like I was doing so well. I know it's normal to go the other way. I feel like I am doing the right thing, but I feel so lonely and alone. How do we cope with this? Holidays are coming and I have my 2 kids, but no other family. I share time with my ExH, so I won't be with them all the time. I need to get out of...

susie56543 · susie56543

So lately I've been feeling my serenity slip. I just haven't been feeling like myself! Usually I would've never noticed this happen. I would have felt resentment towards my A for "making" me stressed out. I thought about this for a while- Why don't I feel at peace? I knew it was because I was t...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I am not longing for my AH or wanting him around. Only because I know he is not him since the brain surgery. So in ways it makes it easier to let go. Almost all my life I did long for him.Or keep a flame in my heart. I had a horrible NIGHTMARE, dream last night. He was working at Crabtree, a little town.I had som...

SophiaBlue · SophiaBlue

After 11 years of inconsistency, pain, and being second to whatever "drug of choice," my alcoholic is choosing this time around, I'm still getting tripped up in my own codependency. I know to go easy on myself...I can't do this perfectly and to take it one day at a time. I wonder if anyone els...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

1. happiness is like physical conditioning...it must be practiced regularly in order to maintain. To actually make gains takes harder work. 2. Same with overall recovery. Use it or lose it. Must be worked on constantly...you never "arrive" and then be able to stop without sliding...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

Apparently AH is noticing a difference in me since I have been attending f2f meetings. Thursday night, I came home from a f2f meeting, and found AH outside drinking with the neighbors. After I put my things away in the house, I went next door to see what was going on. When I got there, AH said they had ju...

Bettina · Bettina

Sorry I was not able to come back on and let you know (whoever was interested) that Dr. Phil (appeared with my daughter to tell our story of abduction) was postponed and may not air until Jan. I will keep you posted. Thanks, Bettina

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Xeno, I'm thinking of your suggestion as I write this. Mood is better since yesterday....why? No huge reason. Probably an accumulation of small things and perhaps some biology. What did I do yesterday? Spent some time with my daughter including going to lunch at Subway and running errands toget...

sunshinemama · sunshinemama

Last night whilte seriously drunk - my AH pulled our 9yr old daughter aside (without me knowing his intent) and informed her that he is sick with a disease. That his disease is being an alcoholic and that he doesn't like it. He told her that he is quitting immediately. I am unsure how I feel about him te...

Bettina · Bettina

Hi Everyone, so good to be back, first of all I moved which was major after being in my place for 15 years so it was a major downsizing as I moved to a one bedroom apartment and then before I moved my computer crashed. You know all know Murphy's Law. Anyway, Im in my new place with my two wonder dogs Luca and Tri...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

recently started couples counseling and basically I'm going through the motions....I don't like the way I'm treated...sure it's ok for some days but crap happens that I feel is just unacceptable way too much. I don't believe anything is going to change because she isn't working on herself at all. ...

Megthompson · Megthompson

hi all just wondering why no friday meeting going on in chat room.do i have the time wrong?is there any online meeting going on now (al anon) i can go to? thanks meg

AmyWillWin · AmyWillWin

I'm leaning heavily on the serenity prayer right now. BB says you have to accept how people are and worry about yourself. How exactly are you supposed to do that when there are kids involved? My ex has his own demons. Booze, pills, mental health, even some illegal things...purportedly. I left h...

member922 · member922

Ugh! I am glad when I have no contact with the exAbf. I always seem to be curious though to know what is going on with him, what he's up to blah blah blah. Then when I hear stuff, I get mad. I do not want to think one thing about him! I do not need to know anything. I cannot bother with what is going on in his...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I'm really struggling right now....and I'm tired of struggling....on meds, in therapy, attend meeting when possible.....and things at home have been relatively quite lately.....can't blame the wife currently for how I feel..... I just can't get past the sadness.....joy or happiness is so flee...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone. I'm curious if your A's also suffer from mental health issues? I'm kinda feeling all alone in what I've been dealing with, like there couldn't possibly be anyone else in the world having to deal with all the 'xxxx' I've dealt with. My AH has always had anxiety - GAD, Generalized Anxiety Di...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

I'm so sick of living at my house right now. My family is pushing me away every chance they get. I went to the grocery store tonight with my ex a so we could talk and try to just be friends. I asked my dad if I could go and he said yes. Then my mom calls me an hour later asking me who I was with. I told her to ask my dad a...

Goodtillitsbad · Goodtillitsbad

I've been working hard at my steps and starting to skim the surface of Step 4. I've had a few slips but I've gotten back on the horse and I've caught myself a LOT quicker. My AH has been (supposedly, but none of my business) sober for over 3 months now and I have noticed marked changes in his behavior. This is...

member922 · member922

I am going to snuggle in a blanket now and read to start my weekend off. I am going to a couple of craft shows tomorrow with a girlfriend and taking it easy on Sunday!! I am looking forward to a very relaxing time with no worries about any A's, no anger and no waste of time. Just doing whatever I choose. What...

DC55 · DC55

This is my story.I was abused as a child, I was first hit as an infant by my mother until 4 or 5 and then verbally abused after that. My mother is very narsistic and I it was all about her growing up. If any thing was not about her she would be cold or start yelling. My father ws quiet and allowed my mothers abuse...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Discerning is an issue at times for me...basically the concepts are easy....accept the things you can't change, dont' accept abuse etc. But there are things that I feel forced to accept that are unacceptable to me. Wife has ADD....leaves the house a total disaster most days...papers strewn all ov...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am posting another update as I always do! Haven't been on here since my last dr.s appt. on Weds. I am happy to say that the doctor has released me from my restrictions as of Weds. I am still going to do all the things I am supposed to from here on! I do not have to see him again until April after the snow goes awa...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

OK, I'll start off by admitting I snooped. The second thing I have to say is that I'm proud of the work my husband has put into his recovery. Now for my gripe - I saw a sheet of paper with a list of sobriety dates from my husband's group. I noticed that he listed a date that is way off from his sobriety date. Wh...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife had her last drinking episode a week ago today. After that, she said she is done. I posted about this previously. She has been wonderful since then...very honest and open about what she has done, willing to keep doing the work, admitting she is powerless, embracing AA...it's been a great week....

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I started going to Al-Anon in February, so it's been 8 months. I haven't been a complete regular, but I do okay. However, I feel like I am getting nowhere. I can't talk! I am scared to open up. There is no reason for me not to. The other people are wonderful and kind and give me ample opportunity to speak. To...

spak · spak

My husband is a sex addict having an affair with a prostitute. I attend alanon bc it is the only mtg available in my area. Im having problems letting my husband work his program on his time. He attends sa meetings and shared for the first time. My frustration is believing his words but ignoring his action...

Megthompson · Megthompson

hi all i promised to keep you posted so i am.had the second ever (to my knowledge) al anoon meeting in lusaka, zambia. the 2 people i was expecting couldn't make it. one was sick and one was tied up at work. however i still had a good time. i gave some literature to the landlords and also a lady who lives in the...

casa · casa

Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. October minutes were approved as written. First item: Meeting schedule. AM MON Shimo TUES xeno WED Iona THURS OPEN FRI Blendergirl SAT OPEN SUN (Spiritual) Kittyoflight PM MON grammie TUES casa WEDS kerisha THURS (Step/tradition)...

living_with_my_a · living_with_my_a

I went to an online meeting tonight of alanon. I was not going to do any recovery work today, just take a day off, because I spend most of my time helping others or working on myself. Well, tonight my a's behavior got to me. He like to be passive-aggressive and say yes when he means no. Anyway, he as...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

Anyone have ESH for someone trying to get schoolwork, writing, or other time-consuming "thinky" task done while dealing with the symptoms of living with an alcoholic? I have been feeling so down recently and finding it hard to work on my thesis. Monday I did great, wrote 9-noon and got lot...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Just wanted to wish you all a Happy Veterans Day. I know there are many people in Alanon who have served and are serving down. There are many Alanoners who are children, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives and friends of these wonderful people. As the daughter & granddaughe...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Remembrance Day is a really difficult time for me and I struggle each year with the lost, the waste, the pain and the turmoil of this world. We owe so much to so few and still they follow and take up the banner in the name of justice and peace. Lest we forget, we hold this day in remembrance hoping that the wo...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

If happiness is an inside job, and I agree it is...but doesn't the outside matter as well? Aren't some situations in life more conducive to happiness and others less so? Is the grass at least sometimes greener on the other side? I really have a hard time accepting the opposite of those above thought...

Ginger90 · Ginger90

I am stuck in neutral/reverse again. I cant seem to stop sitting, staring at the computer and trying to process things in my head. I am off work today, it is a beautiful day outside but I seem to be stuck living between my ears. Am I lazy, over analyzing, do I suffer from lack of direction? Quite possibly...

dori711 · dori711

Does the spouse of an A have any say or opinions in the home? I really would like an answer to this question? Are we to let the A spouse do what they want and we are to understand because they are sick?. How do we manage to keep our identities and protect who we are? Today I failed again because I peace...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I cant' deny the parts of my life that are frustrating and disappointing and saddening. What I can do is while acknowledging all of this also acknowledge the good. Maybe I'm unable to let go of that stuff right now, but i can still see the good (there is plenty of that) and not judge which is more importa...

lyndebi · lyndebi

Thought I would share this letter I had written just now to my friend in Louisiana. love mom,deb I was outside putting med in Arni big pigs eye. swollen. We were on the south deck. Then I started picking up all the railing I took off the deck and moved it to a pile. Put a tarp over it, will reuse it. Put all th...

Miele0607 · Miele0607

Hello everyone. I just moved to Clover, SC from Wilmington, NC. I went to my second meeting to Lake Wylie tonight and they were talking about what seems to be a most useful FEELINGS LIST. No one in the meeting had one available. I looked it up online, but was unable to retrieve it. Does anyone have one that...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday, and we are both pleased with the progress I'm making. We talked about areas where I'm having an easier time detaching, versus areas where it's still a challenge. One of my more challenging areas is not getting worried/anxious when my AH and i don't talk or text during t...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone, I've been snooping around and decided to join. My husband is an alcoholic. He's been to two AA sessions (apparently) but still 'hides' drinking. We've only been married just over a year - in our late twenties. Lies, ridiculous excuses, outlandish stories of why there's a stash behind s...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

And I get it...there are things that need changing about me. And I'm working on that too. But there is this nagging thought. What if i change and it's still not enough? That I'm not happier enough to feel a difference, that things at home really don't improve that much, that I put in 99% work for a 1% imp...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Tomorrow I will be attending my second AlAnon convention, and my HP could not have brought it at a better time for me. Struggles in my mind and heart have left me confused and beat down the past three weeks, and trying to do the next right thing when I'm not certain what it is, is hard....Trying to do it wi...

melissimala · melissimala

I have been in a relationship with a man who had a history of substance abuse. He lost his family, everything really. He has been through treatment and would say how long it has been since he has been cocaine free, somewhere around 5 years. Seems he quit one and picked up another. Thought he was sober...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

I am sure it comes from his own problems with low self esteem, because he is SUCH a braggart and always has been, about how great he does everything, and how great they think he is at work. Honestly I would have agreed up till a couple months ago, I thought he was the greatest thing ever and he said I made him...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I've been renegotiating a commercial lease with a rental company .... actually with multiple companies since more than one deal has not gone through as planned, and now I am to the final stages of the fine points on the lease. I am noticing that instead of asking for what I want, all the things that will b...

clteach · clteach

I don't know what I'm doing. Why I am crying today. I just feel lonely, I guess. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this...my A ex boyfriend says he has been in NA with a sponsor for 4 weeks. He can't be with me and doesn't know if he ever will. But he has started a new relationship with a women who is g...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Actually had a pretty good week and was feeling pretty good. Therapy session uncovered some stuff and I found myself falling back on the pity pot. God, I hate feeling like this....I believe I deserve better from life than I've gotten...but I have to try to find happiness and contentment along the wa...

susie56543 · susie56543

Hello everyone! I've been in al-anon for about 4-5 months now. I used to go to anywhere from 5 meetings a week to 1. Unfortunately, I live out in the country and the nearest meeting is a half hour away. Obviously when I was going to 5 a week I was really focusing and drilling the program into my head and devo...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I have spent my whole life ignoring my feelings and emotions. I have stuffed them so others would be happy. I have stayed in relationships that hurt. I have gotten hurt by people again and again only to go back for more. I may have really not known what I was feeling, because I never really learned t...

kath · kath

It is so easy for me to take on the feelings of loved ones. If they are worried, I start to become worried, if they are angry, I start to become angry, etc. I am noticing how automatic these reactions are for me. No wonder I have felt so angry and exhausted. I have been carrying my feelings, plus the feelings...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Wife has been in a good mood lately and quite tolerable and easy to communicate with, so I noticed I was feeling happier these days. Ok, probably fairly normal thing, but it struck me that I've got to learn to feel this good regardless of her mood. I've been codependant on her moods that affected how I f...

tlcate · tlcate

I am exhausted but I can't quit smiling. I am in my new home - the first one that I own - a week today. IT IS GORGEOUS!!! I just registered for college with my daughter, she and I are both going. I turn 40 next week and I will quit smoking then and have no fear that I will succeed at that. I have already cut bac...

member922 · member922

Hi again. I am trying so hard to detach from my A. I am finding that no contact seems to work the best. Myself and my children are the most important people in my life and I refuse to let this person be around my children and witness his using and moods. He hasn't met them yet and the way things are, he never...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

... AH has been more like his old self lately although has never stopped drinking - just less and beer instead of brandy. He even took Son over to local pub/bar to play/shoot pool on Wed evening. He has also been talking about how we should celebrate our 40th wedding anniversay in Jan 2012 (like we have so...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Can't seem to keep an open mind... (Preview) Whenever AH is drinking or even if I suspect he is, I find myself disagreeing with every thing he says or does. I usually keep my mouth shut and avoid argument. Actually, I find that I have to completely avoid him. Even if what he says makes sense - I don't want to agree with him because I can't let go of th...	sunshinemama	8	866	Nov 15, 2010 by member922
	Need advice (Preview) I'm brand new here, and am the adult child of an alcoholic. My father has been an alcoholic my whole life, and though put my siblings and I in danger with his drinking, has never abused us. However, he has been arrested on a DUI charge previously and was given an ultimatum by my mother that if he didn't stop...	dcot	11	706	Nov 15, 2010 by member922
	Hoping this is the right place.. (Preview) to start... I'm completely new to all this and I am just hoping it can help me become better as a person and I guess hope for a better future for my children. I'm married to an alcoholic he knows he's an alcoholic but does not feel he needs to stop drinking or fix anything cause it's not broken. Drinking caus...	LotsoDreams	9	528	Nov 15, 2010 by LotsoDreams
	resentments and expectations (Preview) As I watch my neighbors set up for the holiday ahead, I see how much in the past I set myself up to live in a sea of resentment. In fact in some ways I have resentments to process from the past that I have not let go of yet. I still have to really accept that sick people will still be sick people on the holidays....	maresie	7	1264	Nov 15, 2010 by maire rua
	Thought I`d Share This... (Preview) Someone contacted the dept. of social services here in the state (now called DCF)regarding concern for my grandaughter with my daughter if she is drinking and driving with my gd. More may have been mentioned but all I do know is that my daughter got a call this week from the counselor at my gd`s school ti...	Samsgram	8	1398	Nov 15, 2010 by Samsgram
	I took on their emotions... (Preview) There was a time when I reacted and responded to everyone else in my life and had no time for me or my own direction. Their lives, problems, wants and needs ruled me. I am realizing that it is ok to think about me, and identify what I want and need. To concentrate on my stuff. When I look at the others and...	sunflowergirl	6	778	Nov 15, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Feeling lonely... (Preview) I feel like I was doing so well. I know it's normal to go the other way. I feel like I am doing the right thing, but I feel so lonely and alone. How do we cope with this? Holidays are coming and I have my 2 kids, but no other family. I share time with my ExH, so I won't be with them all the time. I need to get out of...	member922	6	868	Nov 15, 2010 by member922
	Slipping Serenity (Preview) So lately I've been feeling my serenity slip. I just haven't been feeling like myself! Usually I would've never noticed this happen. I would have felt resentment towards my A for "making" me stressed out. I thought about this for a while- Why don't I feel at peace? I knew it was because I was t...	susie56543	3	575	Nov 15, 2010 by kitty
	residual deep deep pain (Preview) I am not longing for my AH or wanting him around. Only because I know he is not him since the brain surgery. So in ways it makes it easier to let go. Almost all my life I did long for him.Or keep a flame in my heart. I had a horrible NIGHTMARE, dream last night. He was working at Crabtree, a little town.I had som...	lyndebi	9	1355	Nov 15, 2010 by kitty
	Sometimes its just too darn much.... (Preview) After 11 years of inconsistency, pain, and being second to whatever "drug of choice," my alcoholic is choosing this time around, I'm still getting tripped up in my own codependency. I know to go easy on myself...I can't do this perfectly and to take it one day at a time. I wonder if anyone els...	SophiaBlue	2	739	Nov 15, 2010 by xeno59
	Things I've learned....that I still forget sometimes.... (Preview) 1. happiness is like physical conditioning...it must be practiced regularly in order to maintain. To actually make gains takes harder work. 2. Same with overall recovery. Use it or lose it. Must be worked on constantly...you never "arrive" and then be able to stop without sliding...	mjhyankees	3	711	Nov 15, 2010 by Suzannah
	Making progress (Preview) Apparently AH is noticing a difference in me since I have been attending f2f meetings. Thursday night, I came home from a f2f meeting, and found AH outside drinking with the neighbors. After I put my things away in the house, I went next door to see what was going on. When I got there, AH said they had ju...	kimmy1975	7	674	Nov 14, 2010 by kimmy1975
	about Dr. Phil (Preview) Sorry I was not able to come back on and let you know (whoever was interested) that Dr. Phil (appeared with my daughter to tell our story of abduction) was postponed and may not air until Jan. I will keep you posted. Thanks, Bettina	Bettina	2	880	Nov 14, 2010 by Bettina
	The upside of the roller coaster..... (Preview) Xeno, I'm thinking of your suggestion as I write this. Mood is better since yesterday....why? No huge reason. Probably an accumulation of small things and perhaps some biology. What did I do yesterday? Spent some time with my daughter including going to lunch at Subway and running errands toget...	mjhyankees	1	623	Nov 14, 2010 by xeno59
	AH told 9yr old daughter that he is an alcoholic.. (Preview) Last night whilte seriously drunk - my AH pulled our 9yr old daughter aside (without me knowing his intent) and informed her that he is sick with a disease. That his disease is being an alcoholic and that he doesn't like it. He told her that he is quitting immediately. I am unsure how I feel about him te...	sunshinemama	7	721	Nov 14, 2010 by blender_girl
	Great to be back and connected (Preview) Hi Everyone, so good to be back, first of all I moved which was major after being in my place for 15 years so it was a major downsizing as I moved to a one bedroom apartment and then before I moved my computer crashed. You know all know Murphy's Law. Anyway, Im in my new place with my two wonder dogs Luca and Tri...	Bettina	5	627	Nov 14, 2010 by Bettina
	I'm so tired of being treated like this..... (Preview) recently started couples counseling and basically I'm going through the motions....I don't like the way I'm treated...sure it's ok for some days but crap happens that I feel is just unacceptable way too much. I don't believe anything is going to change because she isn't working on herself at all. ...	mjhyankees	6	1281	Nov 13, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	how come no friday meeting going on right now in chat (Preview) hi all just wondering why no friday meeting going on in chat room.do i have the time wrong?is there any online meeting going on now (al anon) i can go to? thanks meg	Megthompson	5	589	Nov 13, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	Help! (Preview) I'm leaning heavily on the serenity prayer right now. BB says you have to accept how people are and worry about yourself. How exactly are you supposed to do that when there are kids involved? My ex has his own demons. Booze, pills, mental health, even some illegal things...purportedly. I left h...	AmyWillWin	6	811	Nov 13, 2010 by tlcate
	Why can't I stand info as much as I want to know??? (Preview) Ugh! I am glad when I have no contact with the exAbf. I always seem to be curious though to know what is going on with him, what he's up to blah blah blah. Then when I hear stuff, I get mad. I do not want to think one thing about him! I do not need to know anything. I cannot bother with what is going on in his...	member922	5	806	Nov 13, 2010 by member922
	still struggling with feelings.......... (Preview) I'm really struggling right now....and I'm tired of struggling....on meds, in therapy, attend meeting when possible.....and things at home have been relatively quite lately.....can't blame the wife currently for how I feel..... I just can't get past the sadness.....joy or happiness is so flee...	mjhyankees	8	1219	Nov 13, 2010 by glad lee
	Alcoholism and Mental Health (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm curious if your A's also suffer from mental health issues? I'm kinda feeling all alone in what I've been dealing with, like there couldn't possibly be anyone else in the world having to deal with all the 'xxxx' I've dealt with. My AH has always had anxiety - GAD, Generalized Anxiety Di...	danielle0516	12	769	Nov 13, 2010 by danielle0516
	My family is driving me insane (Preview) I'm so sick of living at my house right now. My family is pushing me away every chance they get. I went to the grocery store tonight with my ex a so we could talk and try to just be friends. I asked my dad if I could go and he said yes. Then my mom calls me an hour later asking me who I was with. I told her to ask my dad a...	Brookiebabe222	6	705	Nov 13, 2010 by xeno59
	Surprised at my feelings lately (Preview) I've been working hard at my steps and starting to skim the surface of Step 4. I've had a few slips but I've gotten back on the horse and I've caught myself a LOT quicker. My AH has been (supposedly, but none of my business) sober for over 3 months now and I have noticed marked changes in his behavior. This is...	Goodtillitsbad	5	611	Nov 13, 2010 by Bettina
	Weekend Plans??? (Preview) I am going to snuggle in a blanket now and read to start my weekend off. I am going to a couple of craft shows tomorrow with a girlfriend and taking it easy on Sunday!! I am looking forward to a very relaxing time with no worries about any A's, no anger and no waste of time. Just doing whatever I choose. What...	member922	4	592	Nov 13, 2010 by member922
	Whats going on? (Preview) This is my story.I was abused as a child, I was first hit as an infant by my mother until 4 or 5 and then verbally abused after that. My mother is very narsistic and I it was all about her growing up. If any thing was not about her she would be cold or start yelling. My father ws quiet and allowed my mothers abuse...	DC55	2	665	Nov 13, 2010 by xeno59
	Balancing acceptance with what's unacceptable.... (Preview) Discerning is an issue at times for me...basically the concepts are easy....accept the things you can't change, dont' accept abuse etc. But there are things that I feel forced to accept that are unacceptable to me. Wife has ADD....leaves the house a total disaster most days...papers strewn all ov...	mjhyankees	4	802	Nov 13, 2010 by Atlas
	another update as usual! (Preview) I am posting another update as I always do! Haven't been on here since my last dr.s appt. on Weds. I am happy to say that the doctor has released me from my restrictions as of Weds. I am still going to do all the things I am supposed to from here on! I do not have to see him again until April after the snow goes awa...	Hoot Nanny	2	360	Nov 13, 2010 by lyndebi
	Sobriety Date (Preview) OK, I'll start off by admitting I snooped. The second thing I have to say is that I'm proud of the work my husband has put into his recovery. Now for my gripe - I saw a sheet of paper with a list of sobriety dates from my husband's group. I noticed that he listed a date that is way off from his sobriety date. Wh...	N8SMOM	5	769	Nov 13, 2010 by Cloudsea
	The challenges that come when they stop drinking (Preview) My wife had her last drinking episode a week ago today. After that, she said she is done. I posted about this previously. She has been wonderful since then...very honest and open about what she has done, willing to keep doing the work, admitting she is powerless, embracing AA...it's been a great week....	usedtobeanyer	7	888	Nov 13, 2010 by Cloudsea
	Why is it so hard for me to open up? (Preview) I started going to Al-Anon in February, so it's been 8 months. I haven't been a complete regular, but I do okay. However, I feel like I am getting nowhere. I can't talk! I am scared to open up. There is no reason for me not to. The other people are wonderful and kind and give me ample opportunity to speak. To...	looking_for_peace	7	1037	Nov 13, 2010 by kitty
	walking the talk (Preview) My husband is a sex addict having an affair with a prostitute. I attend alanon bc it is the only mtg available in my area. Im having problems letting my husband work his program on his time. He attends sa meetings and shared for the first time. My frustration is believing his words but ignoring his action...	spak	9	859	Nov 13, 2010 by Emi
	second al anon meeting, lusaka, zambia africa (Preview) hi all i promised to keep you posted so i am.had the second ever (to my knowledge) al anoon meeting in lusaka, zambia. the 2 people i was expecting couldn't make it. one was sick and one was tied up at work. however i still had a good time. i gave some literature to the landlords and also a lady who lives in the...	Megthompson	4	900	Nov 13, 2010 by Megthompson
	11.07.10 MIP Chatroom Group Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. October minutes were approved as written. First item: Meeting schedule. AM MON Shimo TUES xeno WED Iona THURS OPEN FRI Blendergirl SAT OPEN SUN (Spiritual) Kittyoflight PM MON grammie TUES casa WEDS kerisha THURS (Step/tradition)...	casa	0	450	Nov 13, 2010 by casa
	passive agressive (Preview) I went to an online meeting tonight of alanon. I was not going to do any recovery work today, just take a day off, because I spend most of my time helping others or working on myself. Well, tonight my a's behavior got to me. He like to be passive-aggressive and say yes when he means no. Anyway, he as...	living_with_my_a	6	918	Nov 12, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	ESH getting writing or other intimidating work done while depressed? (Preview) Anyone have ESH for someone trying to get schoolwork, writing, or other time-consuming "thinky" task done while dealing with the symptoms of living with an alcoholic? I have been feeling so down recently and finding it hard to work on my thesis. Monday I did great, wrote 9-noon and got lot...	Imogen421	4	648	Nov 12, 2010 by kitty
	Happy Veterans Day! (Preview) (((((Family))))), Just wanted to wish you all a Happy Veterans Day. I know there are many people in Alanon who have served and are serving down. There are many Alanoners who are children, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives and friends of these wonderful people. As the daughter & granddaughe...	Karilynn	4	382	Nov 12, 2010 by Hoot Nanny
	Remembrance - a really difficult time for me, please help. (Preview) Remembrance Day is a really difficult time for me and I struggle each year with the lost, the waste, the pain and the turmoil of this world. We owe so much to so few and still they follow and take up the banner in the name of justice and peace. Lest we forget, we hold this day in remembrance hoping that the wo...	Suzannah	4	440	Nov 12, 2010 by xeno59
	How to balance???? (Preview) If happiness is an inside job, and I agree it is...but doesn't the outside matter as well? Aren't some situations in life more conducive to happiness and others less so? Is the grass at least sometimes greener on the other side? I really have a hard time accepting the opposite of those above thought...	mjhyankees	6	448	Nov 12, 2010 by xeno59
	Spinning my tires (Preview) I am stuck in neutral/reverse again. I cant seem to stop sitting, staring at the computer and trying to process things in my head. I am off work today, it is a beautiful day outside but I seem to be stuck living between my ears. Am I lazy, over analyzing, do I suffer from lack of direction? Quite possibly...	Ginger90	4	954	Nov 12, 2010 by xeno59
	Losing myself (Preview) Does the spouse of an A have any say or opinions in the home? I really would like an answer to this question? Are we to let the A spouse do what they want and we are to understand because they are sick?. How do we manage to keep our identities and protect who we are? Today I failed again because I peace...	dori711	4	673	Nov 12, 2010 by dori711
	Maybe this is balance......baby steps (Preview) I cant' deny the parts of my life that are frustrating and disappointing and saddening. What I can do is while acknowledging all of this also acknowledge the good. Maybe I'm unable to let go of that stuff right now, but i can still see the good (there is plenty of that) and not judge which is more importa...	mjhyankees	4	498	Nov 12, 2010 by xeno59
	Just another normal rescue...sheesh (Preview) Thought I would share this letter I had written just now to my friend in Louisiana. love mom,deb I was outside putting med in Arni big pigs eye. swollen. We were on the south deck. Then I started picking up all the railing I took off the deck and moved it to a pile. Put a tarp over it, will reuse it. Put all th...	lyndebi	2	671	Nov 12, 2010 by xeno59
	Feelings List (Preview) Hello everyone. I just moved to Clover, SC from Wilmington, NC. I went to my second meeting to Lake Wylie tonight and they were talking about what seems to be a most useful FEELINGS LIST. No one in the meeting had one available. I looked it up online, but was unable to retrieve it. Does anyone have one that...	Miele0607	4	4916	Nov 12, 2010 by Miele0607
	another step forward (Preview) I saw my psychiatrist yesterday, and we are both pleased with the progress I'm making. We talked about areas where I'm having an easier time detaching, versus areas where it's still a challenge. One of my more challenging areas is not getting worried/anxious when my AH and i don't talk or text during t...	stephaniej	3	660	Nov 12, 2010 by tlcate
	New to board, have a couple questions (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been snooping around and decided to join. My husband is an alcoholic. He's been to two AA sessions (apparently) but still 'hides' drinking. We've only been married just over a year - in our late twenties. Lies, ridiculous excuses, outlandish stories of why there's a stash behind s...	danielle0516	7	1172	Nov 12, 2010 by danielle0516
	Lots of advice to "change me".... (Preview) And I get it...there are things that need changing about me. And I'm working on that too. But there is this nagging thought. What if i change and it's still not enough? That I'm not happier enough to feel a difference, that things at home really don't improve that much, that I put in 99% work for a 1% imp...	mjhyankees	7	920	Nov 12, 2010 by kitty
	So thankful for the AlAnon convention tomorrow~ (Preview) Tomorrow I will be attending my second AlAnon convention, and my HP could not have brought it at a better time for me. Struggles in my mind and heart have left me confused and beat down the past three weeks, and trying to do the next right thing when I'm not certain what it is, is hard....Trying to do it wi...	shellyj123	3	436	Nov 12, 2010 by Jerry F
	What took me so long to realize that he was an alcoholic? (Preview) I have been in a relationship with a man who had a history of substance abuse. He lost his family, everything really. He has been through treatment and would say how long it has been since he has been cocaine free, somewhere around 5 years. Seems he quit one and picked up another. Thought he was sober...	melissimala	6	768	Nov 11, 2010 by lyndebi
	I swear he's trying to make me jealous.... how do I not let it make me crazy?? (Preview) I am sure it comes from his own problems with low self esteem, because he is SUCH a braggart and always has been, about how great he does everything, and how great they think he is at work. Honestly I would have agreed up till a couple months ago, I thought he was the greatest thing ever and he said I made him...	oklahoma momof5	7	3241	Nov 11, 2010 by lyndebi
	Reluctant to own my needs (Preview) I've been renegotiating a commercial lease with a rental company .... actually with multiple companies since more than one deal has not gone through as planned, and now I am to the final stages of the fine points on the lease. I am noticing that instead of asking for what I want, all the things that will b...	Jennifer	4	462	Nov 11, 2010 by Jennifer
	what am I doing?! (Preview) I don't know what I'm doing. Why I am crying today. I just feel lonely, I guess. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this...my A ex boyfriend says he has been in NA with a sponsor for 4 weeks. He can't be with me and doesn't know if he ever will. But he has started a new relationship with a women who is g...	clteach	6	687	Nov 11, 2010 by clteach
	Argg....same old stuff...... (Preview) Actually had a pretty good week and was feeling pretty good. Therapy session uncovered some stuff and I found myself falling back on the pity pot. God, I hate feeling like this....I believe I deserve better from life than I've gotten...but I have to try to find happiness and contentment along the wa...	mjhyankees	4	584	Nov 11, 2010 by xeno59
	Online Sponsorship (Preview) Hello everyone! I've been in al-anon for about 4-5 months now. I used to go to anywhere from 5 meetings a week to 1. Unfortunately, I live out in the country and the nearest meeting is a half hour away. Obviously when I was going to 5 a week I was really focusing and drilling the program into my head and devo...	susie56543	5	2906	Nov 11, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Emotions and Feelings.... (Preview) I have spent my whole life ignoring my feelings and emotions. I have stuffed them so others would be happy. I have stayed in relationships that hurt. I have gotten hurt by people again and again only to go back for more. I may have really not known what I was feeling, because I never really learned t...	sunflowergirl	5	963	Nov 11, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	just realized (Preview) It is so easy for me to take on the feelings of loved ones. If they are worried, I start to become worried, if they are angry, I start to become angry, etc. I am noticing how automatic these reactions are for me. No wonder I have felt so angry and exhausted. I have been carrying my feelings, plus the feelings...	kath	3	588	Nov 11, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Felt good for the wrong reasons..... (Preview) Wife has been in a good mood lately and quite tolerable and easy to communicate with, so I noticed I was feeling happier these days. Ok, probably fairly normal thing, but it struck me that I've got to learn to feel this good regardless of her mood. I've been codependant on her moods that affected how I f...	mjhyankees	10	1083	Nov 11, 2010 by Ginger90
	An object in motion . . . (Preview) I am exhausted but I can't quit smiling. I am in my new home - the first one that I own - a week today. IT IS GORGEOUS!!! I just registered for college with my daughter, she and I are both going. I turn 40 next week and I will quit smoking then and have no fear that I will succeed at that. I have already cut bac...	tlcate	6	463	Nov 11, 2010 by tiredtonite
	How do you not get drawn back in? (Preview) Hi again. I am trying so hard to detach from my A. I am finding that no contact seems to work the best. Myself and my children are the most important people in my life and I refuse to let this person be around my children and witness his using and moods. He hasn't met them yet and the way things are, he never...	member922	18	1162	Nov 11, 2010 by kitty
	Just when you think things are getting better (Preview) ... AH has been more like his old self lately although has never stopped drinking - just less and beer instead of brandy. He even took Son over to local pub/bar to play/shoot pool on Wed evening. He has also been talking about how we should celebrate our 40th wedding anniversay in Jan 2012 (like we have so...	Tattyhead	8	569	Nov 11, 2010 by Emi
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.