Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ellarose · ellarose

Since the birth of our child, we've gone through a cycle in our house. It starts with a six pack and a beer or two during the evening, then progressed to the point where my husband was falling asleep on the couch in the basement 5-6 times a week after several beers. One day he said he had a problem. We dumped...

2nice4_2long · 2nice4_2long

Hi, My first post to this board. I am aware of enabling and try hard to avoid doing things that enable my A. The problem is that I feel like a really mean person when I don't do something put to me as a "favor". by favors - I mean things like please drive me to the mall so I can buy my gifts. Please dro...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and sometimes age doesn't matter. Aloha MIP Family. I was with family of orgin last eveing for a Christmas potluck and gift swap and fun and it was...fun. Fun was the focus so cool. Our last get together wasn't as much fun especially for my 4 year old grandson who is sooo small and like a bug to his hug...

Jozie · Jozie

Yeah know, Since My Last Post I have been doing some Real Soul Searching tring to get out of my Own way, and I think I have come up with one of my BIGGEST Problems to date... I don't Understand HELP... Defined : AID Or ASSIST , Or One who Assists Another... My Sponser & I ALWAY Butt heads about this Very th...

Fallon · Fallon

I really need advice. My AH isn't going to AA or has admitted to having a problem. I have just found al anon and after returning to my materital home after a few weeks seperation I'm trying to get me head around how to go forward. My AH doesn't drink every day and can go months not touching a drop but when he do...

tlcate · tlcate

I shared my experience regarding step 5. Please feel free to take part in the discussion if you wish. All experience from those who have worked the steps as well as questions from those who are in the process or thinking about it are more than welcome. Thank you! Tricia

Rora · Rora

This past Sunday in Church, my Pastor was delivering a sermon about commitment. He, in his 30 years of age and 10 years of marriage, went on to tell the congregation how he didn't always like his wife, but he loved her, he made a commitment to her, to love her, for better or for worse, for richer or for poo...

rgoldy1121 · rgoldy1121

( see my previous post if you want history) So, I spoke to my Friend on Monday morning as she was on her way to a meeting. We talked a while and she sounded like she was embracing recovery, sobriety, and AA. I asked her her boy (B) could come over in when she was done since the kids have not seen each other in a wh...

pamommy · pamommy

My AH has been in recovery and going to AA almost daily for 3 weeks. Today he sent me an email, addressed to "Santa," saying he had been a very bad boy this year, but if he changed his ways could he have this? With a link to a brand new sports car that he's been eyeing but I have told him in the past w...

eyeswideopen · eyeswideopen

My husband is still trapped in the cycle. I no longer believe his promises to continue going to AA, to find a sponsor, to listen to his new therapist who specializes in addiction. The last time we went through this cycle; I found him an outpatient treatment but he won't do it. Said he wants to handle it...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

My AH and I have worked out a set recovery schedule that includes meetings for each of us. We take turns watching the kids so the other person can get to a meeting. Last night was my night to go, but my back hurt and I told my AH I didn't think I would go. I said I'd rather sit on the couch and not move. My AH pa...

stomoxys · stomoxys

So my AH quit drinking after a particularly disturbing event this summer (he left me and our 6 month daughter on a beach while we were on vacation and proceeded to go on a serious blackout binge). After that, he went to aa got a sponsor and all that. He was sober for four months until he decided that he w...

rgoldy1121 · rgoldy1121

Hi,So, my good friend was arrested for a DUI. She went to rehab for two weeks and is back. I wrote her a 4 page letter telling her that i know she had been lying to me about her drinking. I have told my son for the last year or so that if he is at someones house and the people in charge of keeping him safe are dri...

xtal · xtal

Hi everyone, I am new here. I had a tramatic event occur tonight regarding my alcoholic dad. I did not know where to turn to, where to go for advice so I searched the web and found this site. I'm hoping to find some sort of advice from you wonderful people. So my dad, he has always enjoyed his liquor but I'm t...

Jersey99 · Jersey99

I have been involved with an ABF for 12 years. I begged for years and years for him to get help, and finally coming to the conslusion that things would never change, I moved out 2 years ago and started moving on with my life. He finally got sober and I got my old BF back...things were wonderful. He redid ev...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Well its funny how easy it can be to detach from an ex A.....when they are out of sight....out of mind. Easy as pie for me. Have had no contact with him whatsoever, the kids refuse to answer his texts (and that's all he does is text...no phone call...chicken $h)t) Our oldest son is home for two weeks fro...

essgee1952 · essgee1952

My AH is a Vietnam vet and has been diagnosed with PTSD. He has recently learned that there is compensation available from the VA for this, and we are in the midst of applying for it. Supposedly, it will also be paid retroactively to the time of the diagnosis. We are talking anywhere from $132 to $4,00...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi MIP Family I experienced a wonderful unexpected gift of this program today and thought I should share. I live in a huge apartment complex in NYC that has a 24 hour security staff and coverage for all emergencies. I walked out this morning and the door slammed behind me I did not have my key I wen...

kath · kath

My AH goes through phases where he manipulates me. I don't believe him when he gives me compliments because I just think he wants something. He manipulated me last week so much that I finally cussed him out. I apologized, but now we are not talking. What is a more constructive way to respond to manipulat...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone. So, here's another update on my previous posts re AH passing out at work, people think he's dead, 911, hospital ect... AH takes a bus home from the hospital. Gets home and it frozen, shaking, crying, scared. It broke my heart to see him like that. I can't even describe the pain. I hugged him....

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

We are currently on a ski trip. Today is first day on the mountain. Ah issue very tired and sore. He said to me that he is probably going to stop drinking for good after we get back home because he is so sore that he "needs" to drink. I rolled my eyes at him out of reaction, not meaning to. Oops! Wond...

casa · casa

I just wanted to let everyone know that I may not be home in time to chair tonight's meeting at 9 pm EST. I will do my best to be there, but it would be great if someone could step up and chair if I don't make it. I'd really appreciate it. 'Tis the season to be busy... Thanks in advance, Sara aka casa

Speck · Speck

This wouldnt suit everybodys situation of course but has created endless joy and happiness for my partner who is a child abuse victim. Prior to buying her Chloe she would often say that she doesnt want to live, no point to life bla bla bla.......................... It was a spur of the moment purcha...

diane3345 · diane3345

Grateful to be here. I just registered 5 minutes ago. I attended my first alanon meeting 25years ago, and have attended many meetings over the years. Expectations, are at some point , probably will bring disappointmant. I have not found rights addressed in any lit erature so far. For me this very imp...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I feel really wonderful about everything I've learned already through Al Anon. I feel a genuine change in my day to day mood and how I deal with everything in my life, not just my wife's drinking. I just feel really good these days. That being said, at the same time I also feel just fed up with my wife. And I'...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I've been keeping open communication with my kids. They all know they can talk to me about anything and they have come forward to talk to me.....it's been great and therapeutic for us all. This week my youngest son said he had a dream that his dad was parked behind a fence watching us, and he went runnin...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

Hi there, So my A. fiance has not been drinking for a month or so (no recovery program). I am not an alcoholic, but I am in recovery in Alanon. I have chosen not to drink in front of fiance because I know it is so hard for him, on many levels, not to drink at all. It would not be much of a problem, but he always seem...

grammie · grammie

Good afternoon family I am sorry to say that I will not be able to chair the meeting tonight. I am in hopes that someone will step up and cover for me, anyone can lead a meeting. It is in doing this and other acts of service, that we learn and grow in our recovery. I have no doubt that the meeting will be handled...

sdisnie · sdisnie

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think" ~ Christopher Robin to Pooh Without the support of friends and alanon and alanon friends, I probably would never have survived all the craziness I've lived through....

youghlake · youghlake

Friday Night was a disaster here at my house. My AH and I went shopping and running around and things. Nothing dramatic. I knew he had been drinking, he always drinks, 15,20,25 beer a day. We have been together for 11 years, and I have two children from a prior marriage, 17 and 18 yo. Daughter was at work,...

independentme · independentme

My husband, left me because even after 4 years of sobriety. He is still sick. So he has left to go work on whatever. While I am homeless, jobless and destitute. Yes, Now I feel like I am dealing with an alcoholic again and I remember those days. No rational. Baffling. Cunning. Aloof. Funny thing once an...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone, that you all for your kind words and support. I haven't gone to the hospital....yet. Instead, I went to my parents house and hung out with them and my sister. I have a hard time reaching out but I'm glad I did cause otherwise I would have just sat here and starred at a wall. I called the hospita...

member922 · member922

Ok, so things have been going ok with the on again off again ABF lol. I just have to ask something, but not quite sure what. So I set my boundaries that I do not want him smoking pot around me and that he has to be able to pass a drug test to see my children. He has respected those boundaries thus far. So this...

Lila Frost · Lila Frost

In my situation I have a mother with psychiatric and alcohol abuse issues and a very private father who is always trying to downplay everything. She has never admitted to having a problem with her drinking except once when she was so drunk that she was in crisis. Every since then she minimizes everthi...

glad lee · glad lee

I've recently gotten out of a relationship, the first since my divorce in 2008. In fact, the only other Love I've had. I am so hurt that he ended it with me. Well, you know what they say... hurt people hurt people. The temptation for revenge has been enormous, my brain has come up with some delicious id...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone, well, I haven't heard from AH yet and it's 11:15 am over here.. I spoke with AH last night around 11pm and he thought he'd be in the hospital for "a while longer". If you read my first update post - AH was talking about his heart and chest pain, minimizing alcohol's involvement. EK...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Some issues with wife again this week but really it's my inability to let it go, detach, not be codependant that is giving me a hard time. I don't know how to stop ruminating on the negative stuff. I do feel a little better insulated against depression. NOt as intense and not as long. I was sitting at my...

Ginger90 · Ginger90

a day can make. I have been struggling and for months over my 18yo daughter leaving home and her behavior and of course my over reacting, obsessing, controlling, etc actions. Thru the help I have been given from this program I have been learning to let go. let her live and try to focus on myself. This past...

tlcate · tlcate

So the post by MJ today about Right and Wrong got me thinking - and as usual I had an "ah ha" moment. The problem is, I don't see the answer yet. My parents weren't very forthcoming with love, in my mom's home if there were emotions it was anger, and in my Dad's there just were no emotions allowe...

living_with_my_a · living_with_my_a

I got into an argument at the online alanon meeting tonight about sharing. I don't yet know who the ops are or what the rules are in the meetings. Do we share when the op opping calls on us, or when ANY op calls on us? I raised my hand tonigh and did not get called on in the regular way. The whole room told me to s...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Well, AH went off to work respite today with a teenage boy with severe disabilities, has a breathing tube ect... My AH knows this family very well - they are VERY good to him. Kind loving people. Anyway, so he's been at work for 3.5 hours. He called me an hour ago to tell me the phone number to reach him at sin...

Speck · Speck

Some might say its inappropriate to look for the humour in the situations that members of this message board, including myself are going through. Personally I grab any opportunity I can to laugh at the problems of being with an alcoholic................... Never quite so funny to explain later i...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

Here I am again. ABF is the one who got tasered a few months ago, was sober for about 3 weeks, then went right back to drinking and I kicked him out. I've done really well at focusing on me and my daughter (she's not his daughter). But I still talk to him. And as much as I've detached, I still care about him. I st...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I've been going to Al Anon for about 3 months now, I believe. I understand the basic concepts and ideas behind it and it all makes sense to me and I can see how it can really help me deal with so much in my life, both alcohol related and not. That being said...I can't seem to put this into place to the degree tha...

lyndebi · lyndebi

My place is called Eden by the way. You guys have shared so much esh this last week, I am so humbled. thank you. I am sitting here wrapped up in a dark green feather blanket with my ginger cat winnie. sauvey the great Pyr is chewing on a bone, loudly! Zillions of red house finches are at the feeders not 4 feet f...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I hope no one minds but I felt I needed a separate thread for this. According to my therapist I am rigid in my thinking at times. i know what she means. I often have to counter my knee jerk reactions to things so as not to respond in the same old way, be open to new ideas etc. But as I explained to her while I a...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Uhhgg! I'm so frustrated and need some strength please:) As some of you might remember from previous posts - AH lost his job after being released from the psych ward because 30 days to mail a piece of paper to his work wasn't long enough, because I had the car one day, because he was sick, because .. well,...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I don't need to define this as I'm sure you all know what I mean in the title. My problem is this. If I'm being anxious about a future event, I can usually work with it by reminding myself that I can't predict the future. My issue is the present (and I guess the past to some degree). And it's usually about...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I am taking experience from you guys to write this down then read it like it is another member. I got an email from an old school mate guy. Was nice. We have been emailing back and forth for a week or so now. Eased the lonlies plus I like hearing about others lives. I got to where I asked do you smoke? drink? He i...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp Like Every other person in the World that is Currently Possesing a Heart, I am Completely Depleated... I wish I could blame my stress on the Holidays, and Maybe some of it is, but for me it seems just "Life" has me heading back into the way of Insanity... I am still Only Making But ONE of my T...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Tonight I surprised myself. My AH came home from work, ate and then took his usual horizontal position on the bed. During this time, I watched part of a movie with my older daughter and played marbles with my younger daughter. He then went to AA. During this time I watched home movies with my daughters. H...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Last night, I was channel surfing and landed upon the show "Intervention", which I typically don't watch, but have occasionally found interesting.... My 14-year old daughter was in the process of going to bed, but I let her stay up with me for awhile longer, and we watched a couple of the s...

SeekingPeace · SeekingPeace

Hi everyone. This is only my second post and I'm usually very quiet on this board. But, I wanted to share something great that happened today. My mother is the A in my life and she's been living with with my grandparents since she lost her home and job. They are trying to control her (we know this doesn't w...

Evian · Evian

This evening was my 8yr old daughters Christmas concert. AH knew about it, he knew our daughter wanted him there. Yet... as always, come noon, he started his drinking. I reminded him early this afternoon that she wanted him there, and he got mad at me.. Telling me how bad his back hurts ( ok, yes he has a ba...

rebc · rebc

Hi,I'm so glad i found this community. I've been married to my AH for almost 17 years. We have one child, an 11 year old boy. My highest priority is to protect him and try to make his life as normal as possible under the circumstances. I drink as well, but have cut way down (with no effort which was a huge...

stephaniej · stephaniej

My AH and I had our first huge fight in almost 2 months on the phone this morning. I am ashamed to say that my 7-year old heard my end of it. I am done (for the most part) obsessing over what my AH said and did. I'm trying to focus on how to discuss this with my 7-year old tonight when I get home from work. I want...

lyndebi · lyndebi

How do you ease the dang anxiety, like a rock in your gut? Since I went off Effexor I just cannot get my tummy right! Does Prozac cause this maybe? I have never felt this so awful. I wake up with it. My mind is not worrying either. I am grateful and my list is infinite. What is wrong with me???? About to go see my...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

I would appreciate members' ESH on how they walk the line between Alanon and the rest of the world. I imagine it would be best for me if I could simply practice Alanon principles in the world without referring to Alanon special vocabulary and slogans. I understand to an outsider, our vocab wouldn't car...

tryingtostaysane · tryingtostaysane

hi all, my husband and i have been marriage since january. i am 6 months pregnant. alcohol has been an issue all throughout dating as well, and we broke up over his argumentativeness, defensiveness, verbal aggression, all sparked by drinking. then we got back together during a period of him being sob...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I am feeling a little meloncholly today... this song hits home right now. I am still a phoenix though, don't you worry! I will transcend!

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	am i being too hard? (Preview) Since the birth of our child, we've gone through a cycle in our house. It starts with a six pack and a beer or two during the evening, then progressed to the point where my husband was falling asleep on the couch in the basement 5-6 times a week after several beers. One day he said he had a problem. We dumped...	ellarose	9	793	Dec 23, 2010 by failte
	How to feel nice but not enable (Preview) Hi, My first post to this board. I am aware of enabling and try hard to avoid doing things that enable my A. The problem is that I feel like a really mean person when I don't do something put to me as a "favor". by favors - I mean things like please drive me to the mall so I can buy my gifts. Please dro...	2nice4_2long	6	1013	Dec 23, 2010 by supermom
	It works when you work it (Preview) and sometimes age doesn't matter. Aloha MIP Family. I was with family of orgin last eveing for a Christmas potluck and gift swap and fun and it was...fun. Fun was the focus so cool. Our last get together wasn't as much fun especially for my 4 year old grandson who is sooo small and like a bug to his hug...	Jerry F	8	847	Dec 23, 2010 by tiredtonite
	Understanding HELP.... (Preview) Yeah know, Since My Last Post I have been doing some Real Soul Searching tring to get out of my Own way, and I think I have come up with one of my BIGGEST Problems to date... I don't Understand HELP... Defined : AID Or ASSIST , Or One who Assists Another... My Sponser & I ALWAY Butt heads about this Very th...	Jozie	4	830	Dec 23, 2010 by 2nice4_2long
	do you drink alcohol in forn of your A?? (Preview) I really need advice. My AH isn't going to AA or has admitted to having a problem. I have just found al anon and after returning to my materital home after a few weeks seperation I'm trying to get me head around how to go forward. My AH doesn't drink every day and can go months not touching a drop but when he do...	Fallon	9	3941	Dec 23, 2010 by failte
	Step 5 is posted on the step board (Preview) I shared my experience regarding step 5. Please feel free to take part in the discussion if you wish. All experience from those who have worked the steps as well as questions from those who are in the process or thinking about it are more than welcome. Thank you! Tricia	tlcate	2	777	Dec 23, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Divorcing .... out of love..... (Preview) This past Sunday in Church, my Pastor was delivering a sermon about commitment. He, in his 30 years of age and 10 years of marriage, went on to tell the congregation how he didn't always like his wife, but he loved her, he made a commitment to her, to love her, for better or for worse, for richer or for poo...	Rora	19	1080	Dec 23, 2010 by blender_girl
	me and my friend - an update (Preview) ( see my previous post if you want history) So, I spoke to my Friend on Monday morning as she was on her way to a meeting. We talked a while and she sounded like she was embracing recovery, sobriety, and AA. I asked her her boy (B) could come over in when she was done since the kids have not seen each other in a wh...	rgoldy1121	3	837	Dec 22, 2010 by Jerry F
	AH in Recovery asking Santa for a present for being good? (Preview) My AH has been in recovery and going to AA almost daily for 3 weeks. Today he sent me an email, addressed to "Santa," saying he had been a very bad boy this year, but if he changed his ways could he have this? With a link to a brand new sports car that he's been eyeing but I have told him in the past w...	pamommy	9	887	Dec 22, 2010 by Jerry F
	how do you not engage? (Preview) My husband is still trapped in the cycle. I no longer believe his promises to continue going to AA, to find a sponsor, to listen to his new therapist who specializes in addiction. The last time we went through this cycle; I found him an outpatient treatment but he won't do it. Said he wants to handle it...	eyeswideopen	14	1175	Dec 22, 2010 by Jerry F
	Taste of my own medicine - and didn't like it much! (Preview) My AH and I have worked out a set recovery schedule that includes meetings for each of us. We take turns watching the kids so the other person can get to a meeting. Last night was my night to go, but my back hurt and I told my AH I didn't think I would go. I said I'd rather sit on the couch and not move. My AH pa...	White Rabbit	9	800	Dec 22, 2010 by Jerry F
	The holidays... oh no.... (Preview) So my AH quit drinking after a particularly disturbing event this summer (he left me and our 6 month daughter on a beach while we were on vacation and proceeded to go on a serious blackout binge). After that, he went to aa got a sponsor and all that. He was sober for four months until he decided that he w...	stomoxys	5	828	Dec 22, 2010 by Jerry F
	My kid is best friends with a kid who has an alcoholic parent... (Preview) Hi,So, my good friend was arrested for a DUI. She went to rehab for two weeks and is back. I wrote her a 4 page letter telling her that i know she had been lying to me about her drinking. I have told my son for the last year or so that if he is at someones house and the people in charge of keeping him safe are dri...	rgoldy1121	10	764	Dec 22, 2010 by rgoldy1121
	Found my dad on the ground outside (Preview) Hi everyone, I am new here. I had a tramatic event occur tonight regarding my alcoholic dad. I did not know where to turn to, where to go for advice so I searched the web and found this site. I'm hoping to find some sort of advice from you wonderful people. So my dad, he has always enjoyed his liquor but I'm t...	xtal	11	831	Dec 22, 2010 by maresie
	Feeling helpless (Preview) I have been involved with an ABF for 12 years. I begged for years and years for him to get help, and finally coming to the conslusion that things would never change, I moved out 2 years ago and started moving on with my life. He finally got sober and I got my old BF back...things were wonderful. He redid ev...	Jersey99	10	909	Dec 22, 2010 by Jersey99
	Out of Sight....Out of Mind (Preview) Well its funny how easy it can be to detach from an ex A.....when they are out of sight....out of mind. Easy as pie for me. Have had no contact with him whatsoever, the kids refuse to answer his texts (and that's all he does is text...no phone call...chicken $h)t) Our oldest son is home for two weeks fro...	sdisnie	3	771	Dec 22, 2010 by rgoldy1121
	Help For Veterans with PTSD (Preview) My AH is a Vietnam vet and has been diagnosed with PTSD. He has recently learned that there is compensation available from the VA for this, and we are in the midst of applying for it. Supposedly, it will also be paid retroactively to the time of the diagnosis. We are talking anywhere from $132 to $4,00...	essgee1952	2	799	Dec 22, 2010 by failte
	It Works If you Work It (Preview) Hi MIP Family I experienced a wonderful unexpected gift of this program today and thought I should share. I live in a huge apartment complex in NYC that has a 24 hour security staff and coverage for all emergencies. I walked out this morning and the door slammed behind me I did not have my key I wen...	hotrod	6	911	Dec 21, 2010 by maresie
	suggestions (Preview) My AH goes through phases where he manipulates me. I don't believe him when he gives me compliments because I just think he wants something. He manipulated me last week so much that I finally cussed him out. I apologized, but now we are not talking. What is a more constructive way to respond to manipulat...	kath	6	623	Dec 21, 2010 by tlcate
	AH is going to detox and 28 day rehab Update #3 (Preview) Hi everyone. So, here's another update on my previous posts re AH passing out at work, people think he's dead, 911, hospital ect... AH takes a bus home from the hospital. Gets home and it frozen, shaking, crying, scared. It broke my heart to see him like that. I can't even describe the pain. I hugged him....	danielle0516	9	860	Dec 21, 2010 by lyndebi
	More excuses to drink (Preview) We are currently on a ski trip. Today is first day on the mountain. Ah issue very tired and sore. He said to me that he is probably going to stop drinking for good after we get back home because he is so sore that he "needs" to drink. I rolled my eyes at him out of reaction, not meaning to. Oops! Wond...	kimmy1975	6	755	Dec 21, 2010 by kimmy1975
	Meeting tonight 12/21/10 (Preview) I just wanted to let everyone know that I may not be home in time to chair tonight's meeting at 9 pm EST. I will do my best to be there, but it would be great if someone could step up and chair if I don't make it. I'd really appreciate it. 'Tis the season to be busy... Thanks in advance, Sara aka casa	casa	0	410	Dec 21, 2010 by casa
	A ray of sunshine with four legs! (Preview) This wouldnt suit everybodys situation of course but has created endless joy and happiness for my partner who is a child abuse victim. Prior to buying her Chloe she would often say that she doesnt want to live, no point to life bla bla bla.......................... It was a spur of the moment purcha...	Speck	0	464	Dec 21, 2010 by Speck
	Rights not expectations (Preview) Grateful to be here. I just registered 5 minutes ago. I attended my first alanon meeting 25years ago, and have attended many meetings over the years. Expectations, are at some point , probably will bring disappointmant. I have not found rights addressed in any lit erature so far. For me this very imp...	diane3345	4	1487	Dec 21, 2010 by Jerry F
	Just fed up & tired of it (Preview) I feel really wonderful about everything I've learned already through Al Anon. I feel a genuine change in my day to day mood and how I deal with everything in my life, not just my wife's drinking. I just feel really good these days. That being said, at the same time I also feel just fed up with my wife. And I'...	usedtobeanyer	10	1044	Dec 20, 2010 by jennykb43
	My kids are beginning to voice out their fears.... (Preview) I've been keeping open communication with my kids. They all know they can talk to me about anything and they have come forward to talk to me.....it's been great and therapeutic for us all. This week my youngest son said he had a dream that his dad was parked behind a fence watching us, and he went runnin...	sdisnie	5	794	Dec 20, 2010 by rgoldy1121
	living as a non-drinking couple (Preview) Hi there, So my A. fiance has not been drinking for a month or so (no recovery program). I am not an alcoholic, but I am in recovery in Alanon. I have chosen not to drink in front of fiance because I know it is so hard for him, on many levels, not to drink at all. It would not be much of a problem, but he always seem...	Imogen421	4	993	Dec 20, 2010 by Imogen421
	Unable to chair tonight (Monday Dec 20) (Preview) Good afternoon family I am sorry to say that I will not be able to chair the meeting tonight. I am in hopes that someone will step up and cover for me, anyone can lead a meeting. It is in doing this and other acts of service, that we learn and grow in our recovery. I have no doubt that the meeting will be handled...	grammie	0	497	Dec 20, 2010 by grammie
	You're braver than you think..... (Preview) "Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think" ~ Christopher Robin to Pooh Without the support of friends and alanon and alanon friends, I probably would never have survived all the craziness I've lived through....	sdisnie	3	791	Dec 20, 2010 by SteppingUp
	Still Frustrated, Can't get a grip. (Preview) Friday Night was a disaster here at my house. My AH and I went shopping and running around and things. Nothing dramatic. I knew he had been drinking, he always drinks, 15,20,25 beer a day. We have been together for 11 years, and I have two children from a prior marriage, 17 and 18 yo. Daughter was at work,...	youghlake	12	747	Dec 20, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	New Comer. Pissed but happy to be here. (Preview) My husband, left me because even after 4 years of sobriety. He is still sick. So he has left to go work on whatever. While I am homeless, jobless and destitute. Yes, Now I feel like I am dealing with an alcoholic again and I remember those days. No rational. Baffling. Cunning. Aloof. Funny thing once an...	independentme	4	855	Dec 20, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Update on AH's passing out at work crisis/hospital stay (Preview) Hi everyone, that you all for your kind words and support. I haven't gone to the hospital....yet. Instead, I went to my parents house and hung out with them and my sister. I have a hard time reaching out but I'm glad I did cause otherwise I would have just sat here and starred at a wall. I called the hospita...	danielle0516	5	604	Dec 20, 2010 by sdisnie
	Questions, boundaries and detachment... (Preview) Ok, so things have been going ok with the on again off again ABF lol. I just have to ask something, but not quite sure what. So I set my boundaries that I do not want him smoking pot around me and that he has to be able to pass a drug test to see my children. He has respected those boundaries thus far. So this...	member922	5	822	Dec 20, 2010 by member922
	Realistic boundaries (Preview) In my situation I have a mother with psychiatric and alcohol abuse issues and a very private father who is always trying to downplay everything. She has never admitted to having a problem with her drinking except once when she was so drunk that she was in crisis. Every since then she minimizes everthi...	Lila Frost	7	702	Dec 19, 2010 by Lila Frost
	resentment prayer (Preview) I've recently gotten out of a relationship, the first since my divorce in 2008. In fact, the only other Love I've had. I am so hurt that he ended it with me. Well, you know what they say... hurt people hurt people. The temptation for revenge has been enormous, my brain has come up with some delicious id...	glad lee	4	5220	Dec 19, 2010 by Tracy
	Update #2 AH in hospital passing out at work (Preview) Hi everyone, well, I haven't heard from AH yet and it's 11:15 am over here.. I spoke with AH last night around 11pm and he thought he'd be in the hospital for "a while longer". If you read my first update post - AH was talking about his heart and chest pain, minimizing alcohol's involvement. EK...	danielle0516	5	715	Dec 19, 2010 by lyndebi
	Tough week....how to let it go? (Preview) Some issues with wife again this week but really it's my inability to let it go, detach, not be codependant that is giving me a hard time. I don't know how to stop ruminating on the negative stuff. I do feel a little better insulated against depression. NOt as intense and not as long. I was sitting at my...	mjhyankees	10	795	Dec 19, 2010 by flinn66
	What a difference... (Preview) a day can make. I have been struggling and for months over my 18yo daughter leaving home and her behavior and of course my over reacting, obsessing, controlling, etc actions. Thru the help I have been given from this program I have been learning to let go. let her live and try to focus on myself. This past...	Ginger90	6	646	Dec 19, 2010 by Ginger90
	Rigid Thinking (Preview) So the post by MJ today about Right and Wrong got me thinking - and as usual I had an "ah ha" moment. The problem is, I don't see the answer yet. My parents weren't very forthcoming with love, in my mom's home if there were emotions it was anger, and in my Dad's there just were no emotions allowe...	tlcate	5	796	Dec 19, 2010 by glad lee
	I feel bad (online meeting) (Preview) I got into an argument at the online alanon meeting tonight about sharing. I don't yet know who the ops are or what the rules are in the meetings. Do we share when the op opping calls on us, or when ANY op calls on us? I raised my hand tonigh and did not get called on in the regular way. The whole room told me to s...	living_with_my_a	9	1250	Dec 19, 2010 by Courage
	Next Big Crisis and I didn't "save him" but I'm SO worried (Preview) Well, AH went off to work respite today with a teenage boy with severe disabilities, has a breathing tube ect... My AH knows this family very well - they are VERY good to him. Kind loving people. Anyway, so he's been at work for 3.5 hours. He called me an hour ago to tell me the phone number to reach him at sin...	danielle0516	13	924	Dec 19, 2010 by danielle0516
	Try and laugh! (Preview) Some might say its inappropriate to look for the humour in the situations that members of this message board, including myself are going through. Personally I grab any opportunity I can to laugh at the problems of being with an alcoholic................... Never quite so funny to explain later i...	Speck	3	674	Dec 19, 2010 by Speck
	I'm frightened (Preview) Here I am again. ABF is the one who got tasered a few months ago, was sober for about 3 weeks, then went right back to drinking and I kicked him out. I've done really well at focusing on me and my daughter (she's not his daughter). But I still talk to him. And as much as I've detached, I still care about him. I st...	jettiesgirl	10	532	Dec 19, 2010 by jettiesgirl
	Talking the talk but not walking the walk (Preview) I've been going to Al Anon for about 3 months now, I believe. I understand the basic concepts and ideas behind it and it all makes sense to me and I can see how it can really help me deal with so much in my life, both alcohol related and not. That being said...I can't seem to put this into place to the degree tha...	usedtobeanyer	12	947	Dec 18, 2010 by Jerry F
	saturday eden (Preview) My place is called Eden by the way. You guys have shared so much esh this last week, I am so humbled. thank you. I am sitting here wrapped up in a dark green feather blanket with my ginger cat winnie. sauvey the great Pyr is chewing on a bone, loudly! Zillions of red house finches are at the feeders not 4 feet f...	lyndebi	2	478	Dec 18, 2010 by tlcate
	Right and Wrong.... (Preview) I hope no one minds but I felt I needed a separate thread for this. According to my therapist I am rigid in my thinking at times. i know what she means. I often have to counter my knee jerk reactions to things so as not to respond in the same old way, be open to new ideas etc. But as I explained to her while I a...	mjhyankees	8	879	Dec 18, 2010 by Mattie
	AHH so frustrated and second guessing myself (Preview) Uhhgg! I'm so frustrated and need some strength please:) As some of you might remember from previous posts - AH lost his job after being released from the psych ward because 30 days to mail a piece of paper to his work wasn't long enough, because I had the car one day, because he was sick, because .. well,...	danielle0516	8	1027	Dec 18, 2010 by lyndebi
	Problems with "stinkin' thinkin' ".... (Preview) I don't need to define this as I'm sure you all know what I mean in the title. My problem is this. If I'm being anxious about a future event, I can usually work with it by reminding myself that I can't predict the future. My issue is the present (and I guess the past to some degree). And it's usually about...	mjhyankees	5	745	Dec 18, 2010 by failte
	geez another A/Venting (Preview) I am taking experience from you guys to write this down then read it like it is another member. I got an email from an old school mate guy. Was nice. We have been emailing back and forth for a week or so now. Eased the lonlies plus I like hearing about others lives. I got to where I asked do you smoke? drink? He i...	lyndebi	20	920	Dec 18, 2010 by lyndebi
	Just Trying to Hold On!!!! (Preview) Welp Like Every other person in the World that is Currently Possesing a Heart, I am Completely Depleated... I wish I could blame my stress on the Holidays, and Maybe some of it is, but for me it seems just "Life" has me heading back into the way of Insanity... I am still Only Making But ONE of my T...	Jozie	5	1133	Dec 18, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Breakthrough, but still sad... (Preview) Tonight I surprised myself. My AH came home from work, ate and then took his usual horizontal position on the bed. During this time, I watched part of a movie with my older daughter and played marbles with my younger daughter. He then went to AA. During this time I watched home movies with my daughters. H...	looking_for_peace	3	771	Dec 18, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Watching "Intervention".... (Preview) Last night, I was channel surfing and landed upon the show "Intervention", which I typically don't watch, but have occasionally found interesting.... My 14-year old daughter was in the process of going to bed, but I let her stay up with me for awhile longer, and we watched a couple of the s...	canadianguy	12	923	Dec 18, 2010 by Andrea12
	Spoke with interventionist - empowered today (Preview) Hi everyone. This is only my second post and I'm usually very quiet on this board. But, I wanted to share something great that happened today. My mother is the A in my life and she's been living with with my grandparents since she lost her home and job. They are trying to control her (we know this doesn't w...	SeekingPeace	2	418	Dec 18, 2010 by kitty
	Disappointed again....yet not surprised (Preview) This evening was my 8yr old daughters Christmas concert. AH knew about it, he knew our daughter wanted him there. Yet... as always, come noon, he started his drinking. I reminded him early this afternoon that she wanted him there, and he got mad at me.. Telling me how bad his back hurts ( ok, yes he has a ba...	Evian	11	1089	Dec 17, 2010 by Evian
	New and very glad I'm here (Preview) Hi,I'm so glad i found this community. I've been married to my AH for almost 17 years. We have one child, an 11 year old boy. My highest priority is to protect him and try to make his life as normal as possible under the circumstances. I drink as well, but have cut way down (with no effort which was a huge...	rebc	6	893	Dec 17, 2010 by lyndebi
	Need some ESH (Preview) My AH and I had our first huge fight in almost 2 months on the phone this morning. I am ashamed to say that my 7-year old heard my end of it. I am done (for the most part) obsessing over what my AH said and did. I'm trying to focus on how to discuss this with my 7-year old tonight when I get home from work. I want...	stephaniej	4	650	Dec 17, 2010 by clep
	tiny question (Preview) How do you ease the dang anxiety, like a rock in your gut? Since I went off Effexor I just cannot get my tummy right! Does Prozac cause this maybe? I have never felt this so awful. I wake up with it. My mind is not worrying either. I am grateful and my list is infinite. What is wrong with me???? About to go see my...	lyndebi	8	759	Dec 17, 2010 by lyndebi
	how to "translate" your alanon self to your close friends? (Preview) I would appreciate members' ESH on how they walk the line between Alanon and the rest of the world. I imagine it would be best for me if I could simply practice Alanon principles in the world without referring to Alanon special vocabulary and slogans. I understand to an outsider, our vocab wouldn't car...	Imogen421	9	824	Dec 17, 2010 by Imogen421
	new here (Preview) hi all, my husband and i have been marriage since january. i am 6 months pregnant. alcohol has been an issue all throughout dating as well, and we broke up over his argumentativeness, defensiveness, verbal aggression, all sparked by drinking. then we got back together during a period of him being sob...	tryingtostaysane	13	834	Dec 17, 2010 by failte
	Good morning... need some positive energy today... (Preview) I am feeling a little meloncholly today... this song hits home right now. I am still a phoenix though, don't you worry! I will transcend!	sunflowergirl	8	844	Dec 17, 2010 by movinforward
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.