Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

beentheredonethat · beentheredonethat

This is my first time on, and my husband is the alcoholic, I have come to realize i can never change him, but how do i start to change me?/ I have 3 sons and am so worried they will grow up to be like dad. i am tired of the resentment, anger, guilt, lies , lies and more lies, the lack of money for family stuff beca...

ally · ally

Hi Guys I've been a way from Al-anon for three years now, every now and again i pop back into MIP and say hi and share my life with you all. I still practice my programme and pass on wisdom when i can, funnily enough i'm still coming across people who are affected by another's drinking. Like everyone el...

member922 · member922

So after the big fallout with the ABF on Sunday, I find that I am holding strong in some ways. I received the apology messages and the "call me so we can talk" message. I never answered the email, nor the phone calls. I feel strong by not blocking his numbers, email etc. by choosing not to ans...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I attended Al-Anon for 10 months now. I am slow at getting all of it, and I know I need to look to myself to make some more changes if I ever want anything to really change. I really want a sponsor. I think I am ready and I think it would be extremely important to my recovery. I have a particular person in mind, a...

Sincerely · Sincerely

How in the world can I be so successful at my career and struggle so much with my marriage to my active A? UGH! Sincerely

Loveridden · Loveridden

Hi everyone! I thought I would post, long time since I have been here.....was more active in the chat than on the message board but last few times I tried chat it wasn't working for me....I got a new internet now so maybe that is why... Anyways, I broke up and moved out of the apartment I shared with my A bf...

pamommy · pamommy

That's my work these days... I've been lied to so often that I have a hard time believing what I see is true. I've been doing pretty well with it too and I'm proud of myself! My in recovery AH has been "dopey" the past couple of days, and his daughter noticed as well. I simply told him, I know yo...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi All, Just had Christmas dinner with my A-father at a hotel, and feel sad. The dinner was ok bar the nasty couple of comments that I had from my father. He was talking about how he drinks at home because of the danger of drinking and driving, sound stuff you would think, until you realise just how much he d...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Woke up pushing the trepidation away, and put happy things in my head. I need to do what I share all the time. Anti stressors. Gotta find mine and cancel out all this bolony. The situation is not the problem so much as is the limbo. So I must learn to get on and be happy NOW. Then I get an email from the mortgage...

clep · clep

As I shoveled the driveway this morning I struggled to keep out of the thinking that brings resentment. My A always did that chore and taking out the garbage. Last night he played on his computer as I did the dishes, laundry and prepared for work this morning. I have much to prepare being self employe...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Good Morning Everyone! It has been months since I've regularly visited the message boards. My heart aches at all the sadness we have in our lives. My heart aches at all the sadness in my friends and families lives. Right now, this minute...I am declaring a renewed spirit within my heart! Thank You,...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife has had a really hard time for the last year or so and although she is continuing to actively participate in AA, she is also about as unhappy as I've ever seen her. Having a conversation with her is almost impossible as she just gets uncomfortable and insecure. When she is able to have a conversati...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Detaching means that I carry on with my normal activities even thought my AH is drinking, or acting like he is drinking, right? There are some times that I can do this, perhaps by hanging out with my daughters, doing normal household things, etc. However, I just don't think I can do this full time. For in...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Around the 21st of this month my wife and I were cleaning up stuff...lightening the load because we've collected s t u f f from other times and other places and some of the stuff were old photographs (Dang was she a looker back then and Dang we were a handsome couple LOL). Memories are great huh? .....

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Well some of you may be aware that my ex husband (father of my 8 year old son) is a rage-aholic. To me that means he screams and yells because he is so sad from his own childhood of seeing and hearing his parents scream and yell at each other. I feel as if he goes from to 60 in a second when he gets mad, over the...

Angeliki · Angeliki

Hi- I am posting another question.. I guess this should have been first. My therapist told me that Alanon is for anyone who is bothered by someone else's drinking and doesn't focus on labels. I do understand that. But I guess a big part of my anxiety is whether or not I am right to be worried. My husband say...

pattyann1963 · pattyann1963

my a/drug addict b/f drinks more when he is off work any idle time he has from work is drinking,i stayed 2 days with him and was all the ready to come home he was already acting drunk by the time i left tocome home,my friend told me that i was or i didnt have any sense messing with him,sometimes i think by insan...

Speck · Speck

My former partner who I care for drinks because she was abused by her Father (sexual & violence). Most of the locals who gravitate towards her socially when she is out are also damaged people who drink or have other issues. I have not come across any of her friends who drink just for drinking sake, t...

Data395 · Data395

someone went out of her way to even get to a meeting t his morning. She wasn't even feeling well! no op was there. She led the group in the Serenity prayer and no one execpt myself said "amen." That discouraged her, so she left. Either an op can show up or the group can try to say amen after the Ser...

Angeliki · Angeliki

Hello- I am feeling very desperate at the moment and could not wait until my husband left the house this morning so I could get on here and start typing. I am basically contemplating leaving my husband but he is making me feel like I am crazy for doing it. Here is the story: DH and I met about 7 years ago. I was...

Aloha · Aloha

Hoping some of our double-winners know more about this... I need to purchase a copy of the Big Book - my exAH took the one we had in the house with him (although it's not getting any use). My sponsor requested I keep a copy of the Big Book as part of my own step work in order to understand alcoholism. I read the...

sdisnie · sdisnie

One thing about the principles of Al-anon is that really everyone should use them, not just those who are affected by addicts.....I have totally detached from my A for the time being...mostly because he's been laying low...(Thank God!) but now I'm dealing with a crazy person who is not an A....but co...

clep · clep

I was saddened last night when my A ripped up his AA book and burned it in the fireplace outside. It is only a matter time time until he picks up that first drink again. I have seen him going down this path for several months and he inches closer every day. I guess he quit his program a couple of weeks ago. I...

flinn66 · flinn66

I have noticed that my relationship with my A goes through quite recognisable cycles. On a day to day basis I think I choose to ignore a lot of minor issues that perhaps don't always suit me - but I tend to think 'ok not my way but how important is it?' In doing so it seems that the behaviours of my A become more...

Fallon · Fallon

Hi everyone I can imagine there are lots of new people at this time of the year all with their own heartbreaking stories. I have only just heard of al anon and went to my first and only meeting last week. I went expecting to be given advice on how to help an AH and was stunned at what really took place. So m...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am up and down. Am doing better at giving it all to HP. I know he will give me the tools to deal with his change in my life. I am looking at it as a new chapter. Familiar always seems easier. But in reality, this place is huge for one person on disability to keep up. I like things tidy and kept up. Its hard, I cann...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

This has never happened before, because I never had alanon before... however, where I work, I am the front desk receptionist for a busy newspaper. A news reporter came down and had a phone conversation right in front of me. She asked the person if they had been drinking. She then told them they coul...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I hope you are all having a great day :) Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and Happy new year.... Heres to many serene days

Aloha · Aloha

I've had a couple interesting revelations in the last few days. 1. My ex's brother and mother came out to visit him over the holiday and they wanted to meet up with me and do lunch one day, which I figured would be fine. The ex stayed away because his daughter was going to be there and he's still refusing to t...

anewyear · anewyear

I've packed up and I'm just about to load the car and drive away. The gravity of this move has just hit me and although I am finally taking control of my fates and no longer allowing his disease to rule my life, the pain of what I am losing is hitting me. There was so much potential, so much good that we could h...

Angeliki · Angeliki

I am just wondering something for down the road. My son is only 1. But I worry about how I will explain my husband's drinking to him. My husband does not think he has a problem so its not like he is in a program or something we could jointly explain to our son. I would have to basically go against my husband's w...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

The last day of our vacation, AH, the kids, and I went to eat at the restaurant that is located on the first floor of the hotel we stayed at. AH had heard that they brewed their own beer there, and he decided to try it. Without thinking, I shot him a look of disapproval, and he immediately asked what was wro...

eyeswideopen · eyeswideopen

deleted because my husband reads my posts. -- Edited by eyeswideopen on Tuesday 28th of December 2010 10:23:23 AM

clep · clep

I had a fantastic sponsor about a year ago. When my A and I reconcilled I started going to a big book study as I saw a difference it made for him. I met a man who became his sponsor recently and the man's wife that ended up becoming my new sponsor. Things went downhill quickly for me. I was working an AA pro...

clep · clep

I have noticed several times in my readings that I see things in my A that al-anon might be very helpful for. He is really struggling in his program it seems and doesn't get how to fix some things. Upon seeing what he is saying, the things he is speaking of seem to be the things I am learning in my program. ...

tiffany6180 · tiffany6180

Hi, my story is sort of long, but I really need to speak out and relate to others who have gone through what I have. I have been spending the past two nights reading the forums, and thought I would take a moment to post my story. I am a 30 year old women and started dating a man around my same age two years ago. ...

parfait624 · parfait624

Just two weeks ago I was so in love and looking forward to the holidays....and then it happened;again. The story of me and my BF (3yrs sober) is a complicated one. We got involved during a very crazy time in both of our lives. Then three months later I found out I was preggers. I knew him, but I didn't kno...

xeno59 · xeno59

Hi, I just wanted you to know I will be unable to chair this Tuesdays 12/28 morning meeting. As many of you know my brother is dying has last stage liver failure due to HepC contracted when he was a hard core H addict. He is now 13 yrs in recovery. We have now been told he has about a week to live.... of course he...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

So here it is Christmas Eve. We are about to go to church together. AH has been recovering for several months. I am 99% sure he had some alcohol today. What's the 1%? The fact he hasn't admitted it. Motions, conversations and a change in talking all point to some alcohol. Not drunk but probably ex...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Oh Gosh! It's been a long time since I've been here. All the post are so familiar with what I've been going through with my active AH. I'm married to two men. 1. A loving man who works the program 2. A sick man who is a wreck less jerk Right now, I hate them both! Back to the drawing board for me! No major decis...

Fallon · Fallon

Well this morning my AH asked me mother if he had offended her or been out of order in her home. My mother did the usual and told him not at all, he was fine and welcome any time!!!!!!! I mean can u believe that after the drama she made last night ordering me to come get him. He asked my brother and dad the same th...

liam · liam

I'm new here on this board, and I'm new to alanon as well. I have visited alanon meetings over the past year, mostly when the storm was raging, ( agf was drinking, always a no call no show ) and when it calmed down i didnt come around. I thought that my program would be enough to make it through because, I...

Fallon · Fallon

My first xmas after goin to al anon has been horrendous I have tried to ignore the hiding of drink I have forced myself not to try and hide drink and try and feed him etc etc but he went to the football today with my best pals husband and me and my best pal went and met them in pub afterwards. Both hubbies were...

xosarahox · xosarahox

So once my a decided to become sober so did I. He seems happy that i've decided not to drink or do the things that affect him so negatively. I have no problem giving up drinking, esspecially if it helps me feel closer or more supportive but along with it i've given up a lot of friends and socializing. I'm you...

member922 · member922

today. Made it through the holiday with the Abf. He gave me some nice gifts including diamond earrings. Very special to me, esp after I got the speech that jewelry was overpriced and a waste of money and I wouldn't be getting any. So today while his son was at the relatives, I was trying to come up with fu...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

Hey guys. This is the longest I have gone without posting since I have joined this site. And it's because I'm actually doing well. The struggles are not over, of course, but I'm starting to busy myself more. School is over and I did great on my finals because I had time to study, mostly because the lack of a...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I am so grateful to HP for helping me get to recovery and this board. For helping me find a great sponsor to help me through. For my job. For the bad days that help me enjoy the good days even more. For the moments when I slip, so that I can quickly come back to recovery. For my bf who is sweet, kind, suppor...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I wanted to wish everyone Happy Holidays, whatever holiday it may be, for you and your families. I know how hard this season can be on everyone, expectations run high and so does stress and anxiety. I've found each year, a time of year I used to love has little be little become a drain on me and sometimes...

Bettina · Bettina

Well, I hate to even post this, they have switched the show so many times, but the show on "Parental Abduction" with my daughter and I as guests, will air on 1/4/11. Dr. Phil is on channel 2 in L.A. and his show is on at 4:00, I guess its different in your area. Parental abduction is an important t...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, hope you all enjoying the holidays. I had a lovely day yesterday and it is my birthday today not feeling very well but I am still feeling very happy. I am currently working on the middle steps 4,5,6,7 and looking in the mirror i quite hard. My hp is bring awareness to me moment to moment. I kn...

scalawag78 · scalawag78

Hi everyone, feeling very confronted by the concept of "dry drunk". I am a stay-at-home-mum in a same-sex relationship with a woman much older than myself. We have been together for nearly ten years and have two small children (who I carried) within the relationship. My partner was alway...

freeagain · freeagain

When my AH and I were both in recovery(him AA me alanon), he would constantly try to compete with me. He would judge my recovery and make comments about my sponsor, my step work and my choice of recovery friends. He would actually go so far as to critique our programs slogans and readings. I generally jus...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I am feeling very scared again. Mortgage advocate called. The mortgage company will want more money the first payment to do the loan mod. I don't know if this will go sour or not. This mortgage company is the worst, so much fraud and lawsuits against it. The thought of all the loss just has me petrified. H...

Loupiness · Loupiness

...change, EVERYTHING CHANGES, with my feelings, thoughts, and contentment being on the top of the list for me right now. I've been wanting to post all week, a story of ESH, but alas, I waited too long, and here I am with a whole different topic feeling the need to get it out, get some feedback and move...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

This might seem like a weird post, but I think the people on here will understand. I have three songs that completely related to my experiences with my alcoholic. In some ways it is depressing, but if anyone has a chance to look them up and listen to the lyrics, I would be curious to know if you could relate...

Diva · Diva

to wish all of my friends here on MIP a serene, happy, and joy-filled Merry Christmas! May the promise of the new year, 2011, bring you all you have hoped for and deserve. My fondest regards to all, Diva

tweety23 · tweety23

ugh i have to work on this... my trying to control it. i told ah i did not want to "do" christmas with his relatives on xmas eve -- which we have done for years but i hate it. as to them christmas is time for a "piss-up" as they call it.i am just tired of ah and everyone else being hungove...

alittle967 · alittle967

Hello My name is Amanda and I am the Adult Child of an Alcoholic mother, I frequently carry the burden of my mothers disease around on my shoulders, and am heading a project for my family to approach my mother with her problems. Here's my storey... Growing up myself and my two sister had a great childhoo...

wp · wp

Merry Christmas and a peaceful new year to all :) wp

sdisnie · sdisnie

Happy Holidays to all of you....and may they bring you peace, joy and happiness. Whatever you strive for individually, I pray that you will find peace in your heart to make it through each day and end it with a smile. Thanks to everyone on here for love, support, advice and kind words. We all couldn'...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	where do i start??? (Preview) This is my first time on, and my husband is the alcoholic, I have come to realize i can never change him, but how do i start to change me?/ I have 3 sons and am so worried they will grow up to be like dad. i am tired of the resentment, anger, guilt, lies , lies and more lies, the lack of money for family stuff beca...	beentheredonethat	12	761	Dec 31, 2010 by beentheredonethat
	Is It Just Me Oe What (Preview) Hi Guys I've been a way from Al-anon for three years now, every now and again i pop back into MIP and say hi and share my life with you all. I still practice my programme and pass on wisdom when i can, funnily enough i'm still coming across people who are affected by another's drinking. Like everyone el...	ally	3	789	Dec 31, 2010 by VJM111
	Need a little strength... (Preview) So after the big fallout with the ABF on Sunday, I find that I am holding strong in some ways. I received the apology messages and the "call me so we can talk" message. I never answered the email, nor the phone calls. I feel strong by not blocking his numbers, email etc. by choosing not to ans...	member922	13	731	Dec 31, 2010 by member922
	Scared to ask for a sponsor (Preview) I attended Al-Anon for 10 months now. I am slow at getting all of it, and I know I need to look to myself to make some more changes if I ever want anything to really change. I really want a sponsor. I think I am ready and I think it would be extremely important to my recovery. I have a particular person in mind, a...	looking_for_peace	5	1651	Dec 31, 2010 by Aloha
	...why is it?? (Preview) How in the world can I be so successful at my career and struggle so much with my marriage to my active A? UGH! Sincerely	Sincerely	6	891	Dec 31, 2010 by Debilyn
	My A drinks only on special occasions..... (Preview) Hi everyone! I thought I would post, long time since I have been here.....was more active in the chat than on the message board but last few times I tried chat it wasn't working for me....I got a new internet now so maybe that is why... Anyways, I broke up and moved out of the apartment I shared with my A bf...	Loveridden	8	835	Dec 31, 2010 by Loveridden
	The sky is blue and no one can tell me otherwise! (Preview) That's my work these days... I've been lied to so often that I have a hard time believing what I see is true. I've been doing pretty well with it too and I'm proud of myself! My in recovery AH has been "dopey" the past couple of days, and his daughter noticed as well. I simply told him, I know yo...	pamommy	6	491	Dec 30, 2010 by Fallon
	Active A father (Preview) Hi All, Just had Christmas dinner with my A-father at a hotel, and feel sad. The dinner was ok bar the nasty couple of comments that I had from my father. He was talking about how he drinks at home because of the danger of drinking and driving, sound stuff you would think, until you realise just how much he d...	maire rua	5	684	Dec 30, 2010 by maresie
	Finding happy (Preview) Woke up pushing the trepidation away, and put happy things in my head. I need to do what I share all the time. Anti stressors. Gotta find mine and cancel out all this bolony. The situation is not the problem so much as is the limbo. So I must learn to get on and be happy NOW. Then I get an email from the mortgage...	Debilyn	6	690	Dec 30, 2010 by maire rua
	The load is all mine now. (Preview) As I shoveled the driveway this morning I struggled to keep out of the thinking that brings resentment. My A always did that chore and taking out the garbage. Last night he played on his computer as I did the dishes, laundry and prepared for work this morning. I have much to prepare being self employe...	clep	6	917	Dec 30, 2010 by maresie
	...so much sadness (Preview) Good Morning Everyone! It has been months since I've regularly visited the message boards. My heart aches at all the sadness we have in our lives. My heart aches at all the sadness in my friends and families lives. Right now, this minute...I am declaring a renewed spirit within my heart! Thank You,...	Sincerely	3	709	Dec 30, 2010 by maresie
	My wife is totally miserable. Can I be happy? (Preview) My wife has had a really hard time for the last year or so and although she is continuing to actively participate in AA, she is also about as unhappy as I've ever seen her. Having a conversation with her is almost impossible as she just gets uncomfortable and insecure. When she is able to have a conversati...	usedtobeanyer	11	3124	Dec 30, 2010 by maresie
	More questions re. detachment (Preview) Detaching means that I carry on with my normal activities even thought my AH is drinking, or acting like he is drinking, right? There are some times that I can do this, perhaps by hanging out with my daughters, doing normal household things, etc. However, I just don't think I can do this full time. For in...	looking_for_peace	11	864	Dec 30, 2010 by maresie
	More miracles!! (Preview) Around the 21st of this month my wife and I were cleaning up stuff...lightening the load because we've collected s t u f f from other times and other places and some of the stuff were old photographs (Dang was she a looker back then and Dang we were a handsome couple LOL). Memories are great huh? .....	Jerry F	5	623	Dec 30, 2010 by maresie
	this has to do with working this in all our affairs... (Preview) Well some of you may be aware that my ex husband (father of my 8 year old son) is a rage-aholic. To me that means he screams and yells because he is so sad from his own childhood of seeing and hearing his parents scream and yell at each other. I feel as if he goes from to 60 in a second when he gets mad, over the...	sunflowergirl	4	738	Dec 30, 2010 by Jerry F
	Husband doesn't think he is an alcoholic- am I wrong? (Preview) Hi- I am posting another question.. I guess this should have been first. My therapist told me that Alanon is for anyone who is bothered by someone else's drinking and doesn't focus on labels. I do understand that. But I guess a big part of my anxiety is whether or not I am right to be worried. My husband say...	Angeliki	16	8400	Dec 30, 2010 by danielle0516
	tired (Preview) my a/drug addict b/f drinks more when he is off work any idle time he has from work is drinking,i stayed 2 days with him and was all the ready to come home he was already acting drunk by the time i left tocome home,my friend told me that i was or i didnt have any sense messing with him,sometimes i think by insan...	pattyann1963	3	693	Dec 30, 2010 by Debilyn
	What caused their drinking!???? (Preview) My former partner who I care for drinks because she was abused by her Father (sexual & violence). Most of the locals who gravitate towards her socially when she is out are also damaged people who drink or have other issues. I have not come across any of her friends who drink just for drinking sake, t...	Speck	17	858	Dec 30, 2010 by flinn66
	Keep the meeting going! (Preview) someone went out of her way to even get to a meeting t his morning. She wasn't even feeling well! no op was there. She led the group in the Serenity prayer and no one execpt myself said "amen." That discouraged her, so she left. Either an op can show up or the group can try to say amen after the Ser...	Data395	4	851	Dec 30, 2010 by lacewing
	Help please- VERY NEW and confused about whether or not to leave my husband... (Preview) Hello- I am feeling very desperate at the moment and could not wait until my husband left the house this morning so I could get on here and start typing. I am basically contemplating leaving my husband but he is making me feel like I am crazy for doing it. Here is the story: DH and I met about 7 years ago. I was...	Angeliki	14	917	Dec 29, 2010 by Mattie
	"Study Edition" of the AA big book? (Preview) Hoping some of our double-winners know more about this... I need to purchase a copy of the Big Book - my exAH took the one we had in the house with him (although it's not getting any use). My sponsor requested I keep a copy of the Big Book as part of my own step work in order to understand alcoholism. I read the...	Aloha	3	4335	Dec 29, 2010 by Jerry F
	Applying these principles to Life's challenges (Preview) One thing about the principles of Al-anon is that really everyone should use them, not just those who are affected by addicts.....I have totally detached from my A for the time being...mostly because he's been laying low...(Thank God!) but now I'm dealing with a crazy person who is not an A....but co...	sdisnie	5	1618	Dec 29, 2010 by flinn66
	My A quit AA. (Preview) I was saddened last night when my A ripped up his AA book and burned it in the fireplace outside. It is only a matter time time until he picks up that first drink again. I have seen him going down this path for several months and he inches closer every day. I guess he quit his program a couple of weeks ago. I...	clep	7	794	Dec 29, 2010 by Cloudsea
	Thoughts about Denial (Preview) I have noticed that my relationship with my A goes through quite recognisable cycles. On a day to day basis I think I choose to ignore a lot of minor issues that perhaps don't always suit me - but I tend to think 'ok not my way but how important is it?' In doing so it seems that the behaviours of my A become more...	flinn66	8	741	Dec 29, 2010 by flinn66
	another newbie needing help? (Preview) Hi everyone I can imagine there are lots of new people at this time of the year all with their own heartbreaking stories. I have only just heard of al anon and went to my first and only meeting last week. I went expecting to be given advice on how to help an AH and was stunned at what really took place. So m...	Fallon	8	671	Dec 29, 2010 by Angeliki
	update/ since i cannot delete this (Preview) I am up and down. Am doing better at giving it all to HP. I know he will give me the tools to deal with his change in my life. I am looking at it as a new chapter. Familiar always seems easier. But in reality, this place is huge for one person on disability to keep up. I like things tidy and kept up. Its hard, I cann...	Debilyn	2	807	Dec 29, 2010 by hotrod
	How to attract to alanon? (Preview) This has never happened before, because I never had alanon before... however, where I work, I am the front desk receptionist for a busy newspaper. A news reporter came down and had a phone conversation right in front of me. She asked the person if they had been drinking. She then told them they coul...	sunflowergirl	13	856	Dec 29, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	Merry Christmas to all! (Preview) I hope you are all having a great day :) Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and Happy new year.... Heres to many serene days	sunflowergirl	4	425	Dec 29, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	Being drawn to people who aren't present (Preview) I've had a couple interesting revelations in the last few days. 1. My ex's brother and mother came out to visit him over the holiday and they wanted to meet up with me and do lunch one day, which I figured would be fine. The ex stayed away because his daughter was going to be there and he's still refusing to t...	Aloha	8	807	Dec 29, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	Decided to leave (Preview) I've packed up and I'm just about to load the car and drive away. The gravity of this move has just hit me and although I am finally taking control of my fates and no longer allowing his disease to rule my life, the pain of what I am losing is hitting me. There was so much potential, so much good that we could h...	anewyear	9	770	Dec 29, 2010 by living_with_my_a
	How do you explain your A's drinking to your children when your A is in denial? (Preview) I am just wondering something for down the road. My son is only 1. But I worry about how I will explain my husband's drinking to him. My husband does not think he has a problem so its not like he is in a program or something we could jointly explain to our son. I would have to basically go against my husband's w...	Angeliki	6	819	Dec 28, 2010 by Jerry F
	Is this normal A behavior? (Preview) The last day of our vacation, AH, the kids, and I went to eat at the restaurant that is located on the first floor of the hotel we stayed at. AH had heard that they brewed their own beer there, and he decided to try it. Without thinking, I shot him a look of disapproval, and he immediately asked what was wro...	kimmy1975	16	911	Dec 28, 2010 by danielle0516
	deleted (Preview) deleted because my husband reads my posts. -- Edited by eyeswideopen on Tuesday 28th of December 2010 10:23:23 AM	eyeswideopen	30	2120	Dec 28, 2010 by Jerry F
	I have my sponsor back. Yipeee (Preview) I had a fantastic sponsor about a year ago. When my A and I reconcilled I started going to a big book study as I saw a difference it made for him. I met a man who became his sponsor recently and the man's wife that ended up becoming my new sponsor. Things went downhill quickly for me. I was working an AA pro...	clep	5	704	Dec 28, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Alcoholics in Al-anon? (Preview) I have noticed several times in my readings that I see things in my A that al-anon might be very helpful for. He is really struggling in his program it seems and doesn't get how to fix some things. Upon seeing what he is saying, the things he is speaking of seem to be the things I am learning in my program. ...	clep	8	1162	Dec 28, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	new comer - looking for guidance (Preview) Hi, my story is sort of long, but I really need to speak out and relate to others who have gone through what I have. I have been spending the past two nights reading the forums, and thought I would take a moment to post my story. I am a 30 year old women and started dating a man around my same age two years ago. ...	tiffany6180	11	919	Dec 27, 2010 by tiffany6180
	He loves me then he pushes me away. (Preview) Just two weeks ago I was so in love and looking forward to the holidays....and then it happened;again. The story of me and my BF (3yrs sober) is a complicated one. We got involved during a very crazy time in both of our lives. Then three months later I found out I was preggers. I knew him, but I didn't kno...	parfait624	10	6891	Dec 27, 2010 by parfait624
	Tuesday 12/28 Morning Meeting (Preview) Hi, I just wanted you to know I will be unable to chair this Tuesdays 12/28 morning meeting. As many of you know my brother is dying has last stage liver failure due to HepC contracted when he was a hard core H addict. He is now 13 yrs in recovery. We have now been told he has about a week to live.... of course he...	xeno59	3	512	Dec 27, 2010 by Samsgram
	Sad - How do I master One Day at a Time? (Preview) So here it is Christmas Eve. We are about to go to church together. AH has been recovering for several months. I am 99% sure he had some alcohol today. What's the 1%? The fact he hasn't admitted it. Motions, conversations and a change in talking all point to some alcohol. Not drunk but probably ex...	wifeofalcoholic	11	627	Dec 27, 2010 by wifeofalcoholic
	It's All So Familiar (Preview) Oh Gosh! It's been a long time since I've been here. All the post are so familiar with what I've been going through with my active AH. I'm married to two men. 1. A loving man who works the program 2. A sick man who is a wreck less jerk Right now, I hate them both! Back to the drawing board for me! No major decis...	Sincerely	4	668	Dec 27, 2010 by Jerry F
	last nights update (Preview) Well this morning my AH asked me mother if he had offended her or been out of order in her home. My mother did the usual and told him not at all, he was fine and welcome any time!!!!!!! I mean can u believe that after the drama she made last night ordering me to come get him. He asked my brother and dad the same th...	Fallon	5	689	Dec 27, 2010 by Jerry F
	Am i crazy or what? (Preview) I'm new here on this board, and I'm new to alanon as well. I have visited alanon meetings over the past year, mostly when the storm was raging, ( agf was drinking, always a no call no show ) and when it calmed down i didnt come around. I thought that my program would be enough to make it through because, I...	liam	8	782	Dec 27, 2010 by abbyal
	please please help (Preview) My first xmas after goin to al anon has been horrendous I have tried to ignore the hiding of drink I have forced myself not to try and hide drink and try and feed him etc etc but he went to the football today with my best pals husband and me and my best pal went and met them in pub afterwards. Both hubbies were...	Fallon	7	864	Dec 27, 2010 by Fallon
	feeling lonely (Preview) So once my a decided to become sober so did I. He seems happy that i've decided not to drink or do the things that affect him so negatively. I have no problem giving up drinking, esspecially if it helps me feel closer or more supportive but along with it i've given up a lot of friends and socializing. I'm you...	xosarahox	8	800	Dec 27, 2010 by xosarahox
	An ok Christmas til... (Preview) today. Made it through the holiday with the Abf. He gave me some nice gifts including diamond earrings. Very special to me, esp after I got the speech that jewelry was overpriced and a waste of money and I wouldn't be getting any. So today while his son was at the relatives, I was trying to come up with fu...	member922	4	677	Dec 27, 2010 by member922
	Getting better every day (Preview) Hey guys. This is the longest I have gone without posting since I have joined this site. And it's because I'm actually doing well. The struggles are not over, of course, but I'm starting to busy myself more. School is over and I did great on my finals because I had time to study, mostly because the lack of a...	Brookiebabe222	6	531	Dec 26, 2010 by Madelyn M
	I am grateful.... (Preview) I am so grateful to HP for helping me get to recovery and this board. For helping me find a great sponsor to help me through. For my job. For the bad days that help me enjoy the good days even more. For the moments when I slip, so that I can quickly come back to recovery. For my bf who is sweet, kind, suppor...	sunflowergirl	9	563	Dec 26, 2010 by Madelyn M
	Best wishes to all for Holiday season.... (Preview) I wanted to wish everyone Happy Holidays, whatever holiday it may be, for you and your families. I know how hard this season can be on everyone, expectations run high and so does stress and anxiety. I've found each year, a time of year I used to love has little be little become a drain on me and sometimes...	mjhyankees	7	732	Dec 26, 2010 by Madelyn M
	Dr. Phil Show (Preview) Well, I hate to even post this, they have switched the show so many times, but the show on "Parental Abduction" with my daughter and I as guests, will air on 1/4/11. Dr. Phil is on channel 2 in L.A. and his show is on at 4:00, I guess its different in your area. Parental abduction is an important t...	Bettina	4	1460	Dec 26, 2010 by xeno59
	middle steps (Preview) Hi everyone, hope you all enjoying the holidays. I had a lovely day yesterday and it is my birthday today not feeling very well but I am still feeling very happy. I am currently working on the middle steps 4,5,6,7 and looking in the mirror i quite hard. My hp is bring awareness to me moment to moment. I kn...	Tracy	4	674	Dec 26, 2010 by Jerry F
	Married to a dry drunk - a decade of abuse? (Preview) Hi everyone, feeling very confronted by the concept of "dry drunk". I am a stay-at-home-mum in a same-sex relationship with a woman much older than myself. We have been together for nearly ten years and have two small children (who I carried) within the relationship. My partner was alway...	scalawag78	5	1525	Dec 26, 2010 by xeno59
	The Recovery Competition (Preview) When my AH and I were both in recovery(him AA me alanon), he would constantly try to compete with me. He would judge my recovery and make comments about my sponsor, my step work and my choice of recovery friends. He would actually go so far as to critique our programs slogans and readings. I generally jus...	freeagain	6	1150	Dec 26, 2010 by xeno59
	update (Preview) I am feeling very scared again. Mortgage advocate called. The mortgage company will want more money the first payment to do the loan mod. I don't know if this will go sour or not. This mortgage company is the worst, so much fraud and lawsuits against it. The thought of all the loss just has me petrified. H...	lyndebi	11	705	Dec 26, 2010 by buick23
	What I know is true... (Preview) ...change, EVERYTHING CHANGES, with my feelings, thoughts, and contentment being on the top of the list for me right now. I've been wanting to post all week, a story of ESH, but alas, I waited too long, and here I am with a whole different topic feeling the need to get it out, get some feedback and move...	Loupiness	7	794	Dec 26, 2010 by danielle0516
	Songs to relate to (Preview) This might seem like a weird post, but I think the people on here will understand. I have three songs that completely related to my experiences with my alcoholic. In some ways it is depressing, but if anyone has a chance to look them up and listen to the lyrics, I would be curious to know if you could relate...	looking_for_peace	7	3591	Dec 25, 2010 by Jennifer
	Just taking a minute..... (Preview) to wish all of my friends here on MIP a serene, happy, and joy-filled Merry Christmas! May the promise of the new year, 2011, bring you all you have hoped for and deserve. My fondest regards to all, Diva	Diva	9	592	Dec 25, 2010 by lyndebi
	holiday stress (Preview) ugh i have to work on this... my trying to control it. i told ah i did not want to "do" christmas with his relatives on xmas eve -- which we have done for years but i hate it. as to them christmas is time for a "piss-up" as they call it.i am just tired of ah and everyone else being hungove...	tweety23	7	585	Dec 25, 2010 by maire rua
	New Member Here's My storey, looking for guidance (Preview) Hello My name is Amanda and I am the Adult Child of an Alcoholic mother, I frequently carry the burden of my mothers disease around on my shoulders, and am heading a project for my family to approach my mother with her problems. Here's my storey... Growing up myself and my two sister had a great childhoo...	alittle967	11	814	Dec 25, 2010 by wifeofalcoholic
	Peace (Preview) Merry Christmas and a peaceful new year to all :) wp	wp	3	596	Dec 25, 2010 by Speck
	Peace To All (Preview) Happy Holidays to all of you....and may they bring you peace, joy and happiness. Whatever you strive for individually, I pray that you will find peace in your heart to make it through each day and end it with a smile. Thanks to everyone on here for love, support, advice and kind words. We all couldn'...	sdisnie	1	419	Dec 25, 2010 by Loupiness
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.