Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

babygirl71 · babygirl71

Hello everyone. This is a big step for me. I've lived with an alcoholic for 4 and a half years. He went into treatment a couple days ago and I have no idea how to deal with it. I'm happy, mad, scared, relieved, all of it. I have been enabling for years. In the beginning I would go to the liquor store and buy it fo...

JrsMommy215 · JrsMommy215

My son's father is a recovering addict of nearly 6 months. I had gone through hell with that man and I think I am still harboring a lot of resentment and anger towards him for the things we had gone through. He suggested I go to Al-Anon meetings to try and get help for my anger and hatred for him. But from what...

member922 · member922

So in my once again talk session with the on again off again Abf, some nice words were actually said. Finally a calm discussion. He told me that one of the reason that he likes being around me is because I have turned my life around. He said that I have gone from a substance abuser to someone who has settl...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Page 13 January 13th: at the very bottom: "In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus.... Wow. I am beginning to see this and realize that its so very true. any e s and h you can share on it? Thanks ;)

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Watched 'when a man loves a woman' today.I have seen it more than once over the years but I decided to watch it and see if I saw anything new or got any new insights.I did.I saw myself as my AH saw me.A person who projects that she is perfect,so good,so much better than you.If you would just listen to me your l...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

I don't know whether to be excited or scared. I'm a little bit of both, I think. My ABF has been in inpatient treatment since September. We've had family counseling, and got to go out on passes together on weekends after we'd had a few counseling sessions. I have seen him steadily become healthier and ha...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife & I had a huge blow-out argument last night. I will admit to "starting" it, but I do feel I was justified in my criticism. Long story short, I had been home for 10 days because of the holidays and had found myself becoming more and more frustrated by my wife's complete lack of intera...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

My story is not new. We have all been wrought with some of the same things through our childhoods and lives. Some worse, some not so bad, still causing us to grow a disease... Last night I had an attitude problem about something that I couldn't change. I was cranky, and I could feel my vibes affectin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been a long time since I posted--I guess it was meant to be that I couldn't get on here for quite a while. I have been busy getting it back together & putting the focus back on me after spending the holidays trying to "run the show"! I did have a lot of people around me to bring in the new y...

Aloha · Aloha

... working the program in all my affairs. I just about nearly ripped into a supplier at my job because of an unhappy client. I was getting frustrated because everyone else in the office has been in reactionary-mode with the client because he's unhappy. I nearly joined in on the knee-jerk thing... typ...

suave75 · suave75

He called asking to come home. He only gave detox 2 days. He left and has since drank again. I don't know if he used any other drugs. He said it will be 29 degrees tonight. I think he ran out of money. What should I do? Should I take him to a shelter. He can't come back to my home. I just don't feel safe or comfort...

kath · kath

Thanks to Al Anon I have been able to step back and really see what is best for my children and me. I left my AH a year ago to live with my dad who is an functioning alcoholic, nonetheless alcoholic. I have begun to take steps toward freeing myself from familiar uncomfortable known to unfamiliar free. It w...

hmeshow · hmeshow

I am going to my first meeting tonight and my anxiety level is HIGH. I am the daughter of an alcoholic (deceased) and daughter of a mother who is doesn't drink but has all the behaviors. I also have a brother who is an alcoholic. I have been seeing a therapist who has encouraged me to attend a meeting. Toni...

Bettina · Bettina

I never thought I would see this day and it all happened in about 24 hours. The XAH's room mate ran out on the last months rent, naturally XAH cant afford apartment on his own. Well, the landlord gave him his eviction 3 days ago. XAH is not computer literate and does not own one. He asked me to just look and...

js399964 · js399964

My AH has been sober (again) for 5 months now, during which he's been off work, around the house, talking a lot about all the great changes he is going to make to his life. It's like a record that keeps skipping - he talks about himself, about all the things he wants, what's wrong with his life (and what I'm d...

Christy · Christy

Nothing has any meaning save the meaning you give it. This can change your entire experience of life. Repeat this quietly in your mind at any moment of stress or upset: Nothing has any meaning save the meaning I give it. ~Neale Donald Walsch~

sarebaer · sarebaer

I guess the new year starting tomorrow and a rough week with AH has me asking myself do I really want to do this another year. Through al anon i have found a peace that I havent had for years in my life. What I'm struggling with is not having a real relationship with my AH. It leaves me feeling very, empty and a...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I came to the realization that after 10 years of my husband trying to recover from alcoholism and I am truly powerless. Sorry, but I always thought I could change things. After reading posts of we didn't cause, we can't control and we can't cure, I finally get it. The good news is that my husband is in me...

quadlog · quadlog

A bit about myself and the situation. My wife and I have been married for 8 years. I sobered up before we met so she never saw me drink and I've been sober that entire time BUT a couple of years ago I stopped going to AA meetings and went into a dry drunk. Moody, angry at everything and I never told her I was goin...

casa · casa

I am not going to be able to chair tomorrow night's meeting. I really hope that someone will be kind enough to cover for me. Thanks in advance! Happy New Year! Sara aka casa

Angeliki · Angeliki

Hi- I have a specific situation I am wondering about. I haven't gone to any meetings yet or completed any reading but I haven't found the time to do either so I was hoping I could just ask a question and get some opinions. I understand the concept of "stopping enabling" I guess.. just not sure h...

maresie · maresie

For most of my life holidays were a very difficult time for me. All I could count on was that I would feel deprived, angry and sad. This year one of my neighbors is an alcoholic (in early recovery) who feels deprived, angry and sad 24/7. After my exposure to her somehow I was able to give up the life long tr...

kristiekansas · kristiekansas

Hello everyone! I'm going through a tough time. I kicked my husband out (again, I do it occassionally) but I've held my ground even when he tries to tell me hes hungry or he has no where to go (although when he wants to leave and drink for two days he always finds a place) I feel like I have to option but to tel...

Cross610 · Cross610

Hi all, Before I introduce myself, I just want to say how helpful it has been to browse through the forum and read the posts. It has really helped me to feel less alone in all of this.I am entirely new to al-anon, and have not even attended a meeting in my area yet. I have been reading a lot though. I hope this i...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I just want to let anyone who doesn't know, that itunes has free alanon podcasts that include different subject matters about alchoholics/alanon, as well as speakers. I downloaded the speakers, and i have been using them to help me go to sleep at night. Just passing it on.... Blesings, Lou

Cross610 · Cross610

I am going on vacation with my Addict BF on Thursday, to a place where he will not be able to get his drug. He will not go in to serious physical withdrawals, but may be quite miserable to be around. Regardless, I have told him that when we come home from our vacation, and he has one week drug-free under his be...

Aloha · Aloha

So tonight I'm being offered and interesting experience. My sponsor and a couple other Al-Anon / double-winner friends are planning on going to a New Years celebration tonight. It's at a bar... I have no doubts whatsoever about how my double-winner friends will handle being at a bar around all the dr...

Tracy · Tracy

Today I can feel my sickness when it is starting to attack. I got up this morning and first thing I thought of was my A (he is in rehab). My brain started going into the past then the future. I used to lye there and go with these thoughts. today I decided it is my responsibility to take care of me I prayed to Hp...

ditto · ditto

I haven't been here in forever. I divorced my AH in 2006 and since then I have been living a very calm life. In truth I cannot even say I have missed him. He was very abusive to me and I was frightened of him much of the time. Today through a fluke of luck I discovered that he passed away this past September....

suave75 · suave75

I had to kick my fiance out in the middle of the night 3 days ago. He was doing drugs in my house. He started drinking month ago. It wasn't enough and he over stepped my boundaries. I am sad and confused. I am hurt and feel defeated. It been very tough thed past few days. My daughter asks where he's at and I don'...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Oldest son who has been home for the holidays for two weeks has to leave today.....It was so nice and peaceful to have him home, the kids and I have missed him a lot. His dad (ex-A) did not see him during this entire visit. Granted our son didn't want to see him...but really...the ex sure didn't try very h...

member922 · member922

I will learn from them. Starting now. Back to healthy focus where tripping is allowed, but not encouraged.

Holly09 · Holly09

I haven't been on for a while things have been crazy with the holidays. I wanted to say I hope everyone had a wonderful Chirstmas and Happy New Year!! Here things have been good and I am enjoying it!! Holly

Shelly · Shelly

Hi there, I am married with four children, two from previous father and my two youngest to their alcoholic father (still in denial), 4 yrs and the youngest 2mths. My eldest is 15 and then 11. The older children are fully aware of their step fathers drinking and the 4yr old is becoming more aware. I had att...

parfait624 · parfait624

My ABF and I have been having problems lately. He has been pushing me away. I found this board and decided to attend a meeting. I went last night. I am still a little unsure but it was comforting to see and know that so many people feel like I do. I planned on going back to a second meeting. As I was leavi...

member922 · member922

So I spent yesterday in a funk about this whole stupid "lost relationship" crap. I start today with another email from ABF. I have done well so far over a week with one simple response telling him that he should be proud of his progress and keep up the good work. Now, I don't even know what is h...

glad lee · glad lee

Happy New Year ((everyone)) I thought I'd post a beautiful reminder of what we're working for in Al-anon... Brightest blessings! Al-anon Promises/From Survival to Recovery p. 269 "If we willingly surrender ourselves to the spiritual discipline of The Twelve Steps and work the program, o...

Mattie · Mattie

My relationship with my addict has been over for quite some time (years). We communicate infrequently but pretty well about family and necessary things. I know he's still sunk in his addictions, but in the casual contact we have, I don't see signs of him. If I didn't know him from times gone by, I'd n...

liam · liam

Over Serious Anonymous 12 Step Program 1. We admitted that we were powerless over seriousness -- that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that only by lightening up could we achieve a state of non-seriousness. 3. Made a decision to turn our constant self-criticism over to our sen...

Tracy · Tracy

A new year Tody I am thinking what am I going to do with this year? What do I need to focus on? I want to really focus on my programme, I want to get fit and healthy, I plan to train to deliver dance exercise classess one or two nights a week to get fit and hopefully earn more money. My job is a little vulnerable la...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

Today was hard. I have been thinking about my ex a a ton lately. I went to a movie with a couple of my guy friends and it was really fun. But then the end came and of course there was a perfect kiss. And of course I was lonely. It sucked. Luckily I have good friends who were there to cheer me up. But I slipped. I cal...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Being frugal, saving for the big first payment, or for having to go. I use a nice little kerosene heater for heat. We are having arctic cold here in Oregon. My heater just died. I could not get it to turn off. took it outside, took it apart with the fire going. burned my finger, not bad. nothing to do, tried t...

BlazeB · BlazeB

My dearest friend of 20 years suffers from alcoholism. After 20 years of dealing with all this craziness I have become sick from it all. I feel like a dead person walking. When she is on one of her binges I worry myself into panic mode. Frustration, anger and anxiety are my constant companions. I check on...

Christy · Christy

I just thought I'd share this great song by Wilson-Phillips. It's a good reminder that even in the darkest hours, we just need to hold on a bit longer and things will change.

ms621 · ms621

Hello, I'm brand new here. It's 1am and I'm just needing to get this off my chest and hopefully hear some reassurance. My mother is a recovering alcoholic, in treatment 6 yrs and sober for 5 yrs now. She began drinking when I was about 12-13, and I am now 33. We've always been extremely close, so I have d...

suave75 · suave75

I had to kick my fiance out in the middle of the night 3 days ago. He was doing drugs in my house. He started drinking month ago. It wasn't enough and he over stepped my boundaries. I am sad and confused. I am hurt and feel defeated. It been very tough thed past few days. My daughter asks where he's at and I don'...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I know many have it worse than me....I know things are generally not horrible for me right now...but there is this nagging feeling that I'll never get any happier than I am. I'm reminded of the line from the Jack Nicholson movie (As good as it gets) when he tells a waiting room full of miserable people t...

member922 · member922

-- Edited by member922 on Saturday 1st of January 2011 04:40:47 PM

shellyj123 · shellyj123

My Alanon anniversary is upon me as well as the New Year...two years ago I crawled through the doors of my first f2f meeting with my SIL holding my hand. I was beaten, frightened, alone, hurt and sure that my life would never be the same and I'd never know happiness again...see I had loved and lost my A, a...

Grace7 · Grace7

Happy New Year Everybody:) I'm looking forward to 2011! I'm also saddened at my loved ones visit "home" who lives cross country from here and I saw very little of him. I'm letting him lead, so did not suggest much and just let things be. It's been this way for a few years and my heart just mis...

Tracy · Tracy

My Sober ABF is doing amazig in recovery and I am really keeeping the focus on myself. Then today I get a call from my ex husband the gambler. His life is in ruins god love him he is facing the consequences of all his choices. He lives in another city. Has had to change his name. Our eldest son 17 will not ta...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Hi all...wishing you all a wonderful 2011. I've been having a rough time, feeling like I'm just barely hanging on in life. All my responsibilities are weighing on me, and combined with some minor but upsetting health issues, I have regressed into quite a pity party. It all came to a head today when I all...

Fallon · Fallon

Hi Do all AA meetings deal with abstinence or do some AA groups work to help people reintroduce alcohol into their life in a manageable controlled way?? My AH has always spoke about groups that help A's with their illness by helping them to be able to drink alcohol in a sociable controlled manner. I...

Bettina · Bettina

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!! Wishing you all a Happy, Healthy and Peaceful new year!! May all that you desire come to be. Luv, Bettina

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Just wondering if anyone else on the board feels "left out" tonight. Since my AH had problems with alcohol, we have not been invited to the usual Christmas parties and News Years Eve Parties. We have friends who love us and I have a best friend who includes me in almost everything else...but...

lacewing · lacewing

Happy New Year To You... Happy New Year To YOU... May we ALL find Seren-ity! AND Some Miracles TOO! Happy New Year EVERYONE! May this New Year of 2011 bring forth much love, growth, acceptance, and comfort to your door. ~!~

Bettina · Bettina

Whats up with that????

Jerry F · Jerry F

and just the first day of it...Day one coming up. I ended the last day re-affirming my commitment to enact change here locally. I fired up this old 12 gauge desk top and shot gunned the emails out to the Education Committee heads in both the House and the Senate and in the Department of Education itself...

kerry5 · kerry5

Business meeting for January will be postponed until January 9th 2011. If you have anything you would like to be put on the agenda, please contact me Thank you Kerry (aka kerisha)

kath · kath

Today I began to call someone, proceed to this MIP board or run it over in my mind over and over again to complain about my AH. It doesn't work for me anymore to complain. I'm tired of complaining about him and it never gets me anywhere. What does get me relief is to pray for him. I have prayed for him in many as...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New at this so bear with me (Preview) Hello everyone. This is a big step for me. I've lived with an alcoholic for 4 and a half years. He went into treatment a couple days ago and I have no idea how to deal with it. I'm happy, mad, scared, relieved, all of it. I have been enabling for years. In the beginning I would go to the liquor store and buy it fo...	babygirl71	10	953	Jan 6, 2011 by babygirl71
	is it right for me? (Preview) My son's father is a recovering addict of nearly 6 months. I had gone through hell with that man and I think I am still harboring a lot of resentment and anger towards him for the things we had gone through. He suggested I go to Al-Anon meetings to try and get help for my anger and hatred for him. But from what...	JrsMommy215	8	884	Jan 6, 2011 by abbyal
	Nice words to hear (Preview) So in my once again talk session with the on again off again Abf, some nice words were actually said. Finally a calm discussion. He told me that one of the reason that he likes being around me is because I have turned my life around. He said that I have gone from a substance abuser to someone who has settl...	member922	3	910	Jan 6, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	Something powerful I just read in Courage to change.... (Preview) Page 13 January 13th: at the very bottom: "In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus.... Wow. I am beginning to see this and realize that its so very true. any e s and h you can share on it? Thanks ;)	sunflowergirl	5	771	Jan 6, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	"When a man loves a woman" (Preview) Watched 'when a man loves a woman' today.I have seen it more than once over the years but I decided to watch it and see if I saw anything new or got any new insights.I did.I saw myself as my AH saw me.A person who projects that she is perfect,so good,so much better than you.If you would just listen to me your l...	drucilla06	8	1478	Jan 5, 2011 by Tracy
	Boyfriend is coming home from treatment tomorrow (Preview) I don't know whether to be excited or scared. I'm a little bit of both, I think. My ABF has been in inpatient treatment since September. We've had family counseling, and got to go out on passes together on weekends after we'd had a few counseling sessions. I have seen him steadily become healthier and ha...	Sangyaa	9	640	Jan 5, 2011 by clep
	Are fights/arguments ever productive? (Preview) My wife & I had a huge blow-out argument last night. I will admit to "starting" it, but I do feel I was justified in my criticism. Long story short, I had been home for 10 days because of the holidays and had found myself becoming more and more frustrated by my wife's complete lack of intera...	usedtobeanyer	18	822	Jan 5, 2011 by Shelly
	Changing my attitude... one moment at a time (Preview) My story is not new. We have all been wrought with some of the same things through our childhoods and lives. Some worse, some not so bad, still causing us to grow a disease... Last night I had an attitude problem about something that I couldn't change. I was cranky, and I could feel my vibes affectin...	sunflowergirl	3	968	Jan 4, 2011 by member922
	it has been a loooong time! (Preview) It has been a long time since I posted--I guess it was meant to be that I couldn't get on here for quite a while. I have been busy getting it back together & putting the focus back on me after spending the holidays trying to "run the show"! I did have a lot of people around me to bring in the new y...	Hoot Nanny	3	661	Jan 4, 2011 by Jerry F
	Thank God for PAUSE. (Preview) ... working the program in all my affairs. I just about nearly ripped into a supplier at my job because of an unhappy client. I was getting frustrated because everyone else in the office has been in reactionary-mode with the client because he's unhappy. I nearly joined in on the knee-jerk thing... typ...	Aloha	6	1102	Jan 4, 2011 by tiredtonite
	What do you do or say when they beg and are still in denial? (Preview) He called asking to come home. He only gave detox 2 days. He left and has since drank again. I don't know if he used any other drugs. He said it will be 29 degrees tonight. I think he ran out of money. What should I do? Should I take him to a shelter. He can't come back to my home. I just don't feel safe or comfort...	suave75	5	785	Jan 4, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	requesting prayers be sent our way (Preview) Thanks to Al Anon I have been able to step back and really see what is best for my children and me. I left my AH a year ago to live with my dad who is an functioning alcoholic, nonetheless alcoholic. I have begun to take steps toward freeing myself from familiar uncomfortable known to unfamiliar free. It w...	kath	7	736	Jan 4, 2011 by stephaniej
	SOOO nervous! (Preview) I am going to my first meeting tonight and my anxiety level is HIGH. I am the daughter of an alcoholic (deceased) and daughter of a mother who is doesn't drink but has all the behaviors. I also have a brother who is an alcoholic. I have been seeing a therapist who has encouraged me to attend a meeting. Toni...	hmeshow	9	740	Jan 4, 2011 by xeno59
	Above all , HP in control. (Preview) I never thought I would see this day and it all happened in about 24 hours. The XAH's room mate ran out on the last months rent, naturally XAH cant afford apartment on his own. Well, the landlord gave him his eviction 3 days ago. XAH is not computer literate and does not own one. He asked me to just look and...	Bettina	5	700	Jan 4, 2011 by xeno59
	Tired of it all being about the alcoholic! (Preview) My AH has been sober (again) for 5 months now, during which he's been off work, around the house, talking a lot about all the great changes he is going to make to his life. It's like a record that keeps skipping - he talks about himself, about all the things he wants, what's wrong with his life (and what I'm d...	js399964	7	790	Jan 4, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	The meaning you give it.. (Preview) Nothing has any meaning save the meaning you give it. This can change your entire experience of life. Repeat this quietly in your mind at any moment of stress or upset: Nothing has any meaning save the meaning I give it. ~Neale Donald Walsch~	Christy	8	789	Jan 4, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	Can I do this another year? (Preview) I guess the new year starting tomorrow and a rough week with AH has me asking myself do I really want to do this another year. Through al anon i have found a peace that I havent had for years in my life. What I'm struggling with is not having a real relationship with my AH. It leaves me feeling very, empty and a...	sarebaer	5	486	Jan 4, 2011 by peacewithin
	How do I continue to live w/my A husband? (Preview) I came to the realization that after 10 years of my husband trying to recover from alcoholism and I am truly powerless. Sorry, but I always thought I could change things. After reading posts of we didn't cause, we can't control and we can't cure, I finally get it. The good news is that my husband is in me...	wifeofalcoholic	9	949	Jan 3, 2011 by SunnyDays
	Not entirely sure how to deal with my wife (she's co-depending and I'm the recovering alcoholic) (Preview) A bit about myself and the situation. My wife and I have been married for 8 years. I sobered up before we met so she never saw me drink and I've been sober that entire time BUT a couple of years ago I stopped going to AA meetings and went into a dry drunk. Moody, angry at everything and I never told her I was goin...	quadlog	10	1338	Jan 3, 2011 by glad lee
	Chair needed for PM meeting - Tuesday, January 4th (Preview) I am not going to be able to chair tomorrow night's meeting. I really hope that someone will be kind enough to cover for me. Thanks in advance! Happy New Year! Sara aka casa	casa	0	311	Jan 3, 2011 by casa
	Newbie question about enabling (Preview) Hi- I have a specific situation I am wondering about. I haven't gone to any meetings yet or completed any reading but I haven't found the time to do either so I was hoping I could just ask a question and get some opinions. I understand the concept of "stopping enabling" I guess.. just not sure h...	Angeliki	7	699	Jan 3, 2011 by supermom
	Holidays (Preview) For most of my life holidays were a very difficult time for me. All I could count on was that I would feel deprived, angry and sad. This year one of my neighbors is an alcoholic (in early recovery) who feels deprived, angry and sad 24/7. After my exposure to her somehow I was able to give up the life long tr...	maresie	6	447	Jan 3, 2011 by hotrod
	Im more than sick and tired and fed up. BTW Im new! (Preview) Hello everyone! I'm going through a tough time. I kicked my husband out (again, I do it occassionally) but I've held my ground even when he tries to tell me hes hungry or he has no where to go (although when he wants to leave and drink for two days he always finds a place) I feel like I have to option but to tel...	kristiekansas	4	757	Jan 3, 2011 by maresie
	New to this forum...so sad, scared and confused... (Preview) Hi all, Before I introduce myself, I just want to say how helpful it has been to browse through the forum and read the posts. It has really helped me to feel less alone in all of this.I am entirely new to al-anon, and have not even attended a meeting in my area yet. I have been reading a lot though. I hope this i...	Cross610	9	734	Jan 3, 2011 by maresie
	alanon podcasts (Preview) I just want to let anyone who doesn't know, that itunes has free alanon podcasts that include different subject matters about alchoholics/alanon, as well as speakers. I downloaded the speakers, and i have been using them to help me go to sleep at night. Just passing it on.... Blesings, Lou	Loupiness	5	6281	Jan 3, 2011 by ythannah
	Ultimatums...are they ever ok? (Preview) I am going on vacation with my Addict BF on Thursday, to a place where he will not be able to get his drug. He will not go in to serious physical withdrawals, but may be quite miserable to be around. Regardless, I have told him that when we come home from our vacation, and he has one week drug-free under his be...	Cross610	12	2150	Jan 3, 2011 by Aloha
	Facing fears, perhaps? (Preview) So tonight I'm being offered and interesting experience. My sponsor and a couple other Al-Anon / double-winner friends are planning on going to a New Years celebration tonight. It's at a bar... I have no doubts whatsoever about how my double-winner friends will handle being at a bar around all the dr...	Aloha	3	663	Jan 3, 2011 by Aloha
	my sickness (Preview) Today I can feel my sickness when it is starting to attack. I got up this morning and first thing I thought of was my A (he is in rehab). My brain started going into the past then the future. I used to lye there and go with these thoughts. today I decided it is my responsibility to take care of me I prayed to Hp...	Tracy	2	681	Jan 3, 2011 by Debilyn
	He Died (Preview) I haven't been here in forever. I divorced my AH in 2006 and since then I have been living a very calm life. In truth I cannot even say I have missed him. He was very abusive to me and I was frightened of him much of the time. Today through a fluke of luck I discovered that he passed away this past September....	ditto	7	850	Jan 3, 2011 by suave75
	New... I sad and hurt... UPDATE (Preview) I had to kick my fiance out in the middle of the night 3 days ago. He was doing drugs in my house. He started drinking month ago. It wasn't enough and he over stepped my boundaries. I am sad and confused. I am hurt and feel defeated. It been very tough thed past few days. My daughter asks where he's at and I don'...	suave75	7	771	Jan 3, 2011 by Tracy
	Peacefullness comes to an end..... (Preview) Oldest son who has been home for the holidays for two weeks has to leave today.....It was so nice and peaceful to have him home, the kids and I have missed him a lot. His dad (ex-A) did not see him during this entire visit. Granted our son didn't want to see him...but really...the ex sure didn't try very h...	sdisnie	6	772	Jan 3, 2011 by sdisnie
	Big Mistakes Today! (Preview) I will learn from them. Starting now. Back to healthy focus where tripping is allowed, but not encouraged.	member922	5	629	Jan 3, 2011 by member922
	Wishing everyone well! (Preview) I haven't been on for a while things have been crazy with the holidays. I wanted to say I hope everyone had a wonderful Chirstmas and Happy New Year!! Here things have been good and I am enjoying it!! Holly	Holly09	1	403	Jan 3, 2011 by js399964
	Helping children deal with the alcoholic parent (Preview) Hi there, I am married with four children, two from previous father and my two youngest to their alcoholic father (still in denial), 4 yrs and the youngest 2mths. My eldest is 15 and then 11. The older children are fully aware of their step fathers drinking and the 4yr old is becoming more aware. I had att...	Shelly	7	2089	Jan 3, 2011 by Shelly
	Went to my first meeting and my ABF made me feel stupid for it. (Preview) My ABF and I have been having problems lately. He has been pushing me away. I found this board and decided to attend a meeting. I went last night. I am still a little unsure but it was comforting to see and know that so many people feel like I do. I planned on going back to a second meeting. As I was leavi...	parfait624	10	774	Jan 2, 2011 by widow
	Craziness!! (Preview) So I spent yesterday in a funk about this whole stupid "lost relationship" crap. I start today with another email from ABF. I have done well so far over a week with one simple response telling him that he should be proud of his progress and keep up the good work. Now, I don't even know what is h...	member922	4	694	Jan 2, 2011 by xeno59
	The Al-anon Promises (Preview) Happy New Year ((everyone)) I thought I'd post a beautiful reminder of what we're working for in Al-anon... Brightest blessings! Al-anon Promises/From Survival to Recovery p. 269 "If we willingly surrender ourselves to the spiritual discipline of The Twelve Steps and work the program, o...	glad lee	3	1065	Jan 2, 2011 by shellyj123
	Stopping the obsessing -- ? (Preview) My relationship with my addict has been over for quite some time (years). We communicate infrequently but pretty well about family and necessary things. I know he's still sunk in his addictions, but in the casual contact we have, I don't see signs of him. If I didn't know him from times gone by, I'd n...	Mattie	5	830	Jan 2, 2011 by bud
	seriousness: Sign of spiritual sickness? (Preview) Over Serious Anonymous 12 Step Program 1. We admitted that we were powerless over seriousness -- that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that only by lightening up could we achieve a state of non-seriousness. 3. Made a decision to turn our constant self-criticism over to our sen...	liam	6	1173	Jan 2, 2011 by hotrod
	my life. (Preview) A new year Tody I am thinking what am I going to do with this year? What do I need to focus on? I want to really focus on my programme, I want to get fit and healthy, I plan to train to deliver dance exercise classess one or two nights a week to get fit and hopefully earn more money. My job is a little vulnerable la...	Tracy	1	484	Jan 2, 2011 by member922
	Crap. (Preview) Today was hard. I have been thinking about my ex a a ton lately. I went to a movie with a couple of my guy friends and it was really fun. But then the end came and of course there was a perfect kiss. And of course I was lonely. It sucked. Luckily I have good friends who were there to cheer me up. But I slipped. I cal...	Brookiebabe222	2	612	Jan 2, 2011 by member922
	ok stop it already I am learning (Preview) Being frugal, saving for the big first payment, or for having to go. I use a nice little kerosene heater for heat. We are having arctic cold here in Oregon. My heater just died. I could not get it to turn off. took it outside, took it apart with the fire going. burned my finger, not bad. nothing to do, tried t...	Debilyn	5	715	Jan 1, 2011 by xeno59
	need to change my behavior (Preview) My dearest friend of 20 years suffers from alcoholism. After 20 years of dealing with all this craziness I have become sick from it all. I feel like a dead person walking. When she is on one of her binges I worry myself into panic mode. Frustration, anger and anxiety are my constant companions. I check on...	BlazeB	6	762	Jan 1, 2011 by xeno59
	Hold On (Preview) I just thought I'd share this great song by Wilson-Phillips. It's a good reminder that even in the darkest hours, we just need to hold on a bit longer and things will change.	Christy	6	788	Jan 1, 2011 by xeno59
	Newcomer: I can't believe this is happening again... (Preview) Hello, I'm brand new here. It's 1am and I'm just needing to get this off my chest and hopefully hear some reassurance. My mother is a recovering alcoholic, in treatment 6 yrs and sober for 5 yrs now. She began drinking when I was about 12-13, and I am now 33. We've always been extremely close, so I have d...	ms621	8	799	Jan 1, 2011 by xeno59
	NEW... I am so sad and hurt. (Preview) I had to kick my fiance out in the middle of the night 3 days ago. He was doing drugs in my house. He started drinking month ago. It wasn't enough and he over stepped my boundaries. I am sad and confused. I am hurt and feel defeated. It been very tough thed past few days. My daughter asks where he's at and I don'...	suave75	6	803	Jan 1, 2011 by xeno59
	It feels like it will never get better..... (Preview) I know many have it worse than me....I know things are generally not horrible for me right now...but there is this nagging feeling that I'll never get any happier than I am. I'm reminded of the line from the Jack Nicholson movie (As good as it gets) when he tells a waiting room full of miserable people t...	mjhyankees	9	815	Jan 1, 2011 by xeno59
	Nevermind (Preview) -- Edited by member922 on Saturday 1st of January 2011 04:40:47 PM	member922	4	1196	Jan 1, 2011 by Debilyn
	We learn as we live...another anniversary in recovery (Preview) My Alanon anniversary is upon me as well as the New Year...two years ago I crawled through the doors of my first f2f meeting with my SIL holding my hand. I was beaten, frightened, alone, hurt and sure that my life would never be the same and I'd never know happiness again...see I had loved and lost my A, a...	shellyj123	1	1078	Jan 1, 2011 by tiredtonite
	Missing my loved one (Preview) Happy New Year Everybody:) I'm looking forward to 2011! I'm also saddened at my loved ones visit "home" who lives cross country from here and I saw very little of him. I'm letting him lead, so did not suggest much and just let things be. It's been this way for a few years and my heart just mis...	Grace7	1	629	Jan 1, 2011 by xeno59
	detachment (Preview) My Sober ABF is doing amazig in recovery and I am really keeeping the focus on myself. Then today I get a call from my ex husband the gambler. His life is in ruins god love him he is facing the consequences of all his choices. He lives in another city. Has had to change his name. Our eldest son 17 will not ta...	Tracy	2	612	Jan 1, 2011 by glad lee
	Happy New Year, MIPers (Preview) Hi all...wishing you all a wonderful 2011. I've been having a rough time, feeling like I'm just barely hanging on in life. All my responsibilities are weighing on me, and combined with some minor but upsetting health issues, I have regressed into quite a pity party. It all came to a head today when I all...	stephaniej	2	627	Jan 1, 2011 by tiredtonite
	can it ever be controlled or is this another lie?? (Preview) Hi Do all AA meetings deal with abstinence or do some AA groups work to help people reintroduce alcohol into their life in a manageable controlled way?? My AH has always spoke about groups that help A's with their illness by helping them to be able to drink alcohol in a sociable controlled manner. I...	Fallon	15	824	Jan 1, 2011 by flinn66
	HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! (Preview) HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!! Wishing you all a Happy, Healthy and Peaceful new year!! May all that you desire come to be. Luv, Bettina	Bettina	7	687	Jan 1, 2011 by flinn66
	Anyone else feel "left out" tonight? (Preview) Just wondering if anyone else on the board feels "left out" tonight. Since my AH had problems with alcohol, we have not been invited to the usual Christmas parties and News Years Eve Parties. We have friends who love us and I have a best friend who includes me in almost everything else...but...	looking_for_peace	5	1028	Jan 1, 2011 by flinn66
	1-1-11 (Preview) Happy New Year To You... Happy New Year To YOU... May we ALL find Seren-ity! AND Some Miracles TOO! Happy New Year EVERYONE! May this New Year of 2011 bring forth much love, growth, acceptance, and comfort to your door. ~!~	lacewing	2	705	Jan 1, 2011 by Jerry F
	What is "error IP has been banned" what is that, been noticing it on a lot of posts. (Preview) Whats up with that????	Bettina	2	779	Jan 1, 2011 by Bettina
	It's a New Year.... (Preview) and just the first day of it...Day one coming up. I ended the last day re-affirming my commitment to enact change here locally. I fired up this old 12 gauge desk top and shot gunned the emails out to the Education Committee heads in both the House and the Senate and in the Department of Education itself...	Jerry F	1	447	Jan 1, 2011 by lacewing
	Business Meeting for January will be postponed (Preview) Business meeting for January will be postponed until January 9th 2011. If you have anything you would like to be put on the agenda, please contact me Thank you Kerry (aka kerisha)	kerry5	0	260	Jan 1, 2011 by kerry5
	Praying instead of complaining (Preview) Today I began to call someone, proceed to this MIP board or run it over in my mind over and over again to complain about my AH. It doesn't work for me anymore to complain. I'm tired of complaining about him and it never gets me anywhere. What does get me relief is to pray for him. I have prayed for him in many as...	kath	5	728	Dec 31, 2010 by stephaniej
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.