Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, today I was cleaning out the pool and the filters despite the freezing cold water. I found a beer bottle label in the main filter and pulled it out. In the past, I would have accused AH of drinking this fancy Russian beer knowing full well that he would blame a neighbor for their trash blowing into ou...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I think Al-Anon encourages us to detach. In this detaching, we aren't expected to totally pretend nothing bad has happened, right? We are encouraged to state our feelings without pointing fingers or judging. Is this correct? Maybe there should be some fine print about the fact it could blow up in you...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am hoping someday I get blessed with that again. Again I am very grateful for all I have. Its not that. I've forgotten what happiness feels like. Hate admitting that. Though I put my first months rent down today. (c: So we will be here awhile. I can take my time. Clean up as much as I can here before I let go...

Laura Baker · Laura Baker

I have cut myself off from my 30 year old son. I pray for the surrender he needs to get well. But struggle with the guilt of my decision to cut ties. I wish God would have me know that I am doing the right thing. Is it my ego that makes me think that others are judging the choice I made? Am just looking for affrima...

Evian · Evian

I think I've had enough. Enough of the lies, the cheating, the excuses. I'm tired of tiptoeing around him and having to tell the kids to tiptoe as well. It's sad that they know that Dads been drinking, just by his demeanor these days.. My one son asked me one day last week... "how much has he had so far...

Another family member made the choice · quietearth

My aunt killed herself last Thursday in the bathtub where my sister tried to drown herself in alchohol for hours at a time. I'm feeling very tired and have become run down this past week holding in all my emotions in the presence of my family. I've gone into dark spiritual space a couple of times, this is t...

Aloha · Aloha

http://tinyurl.com/5skujvb I was reading today's Dear Abby online with interest. The column received a lot of backlash from the community in regards to advice that had been given regarding it being okay to give alcohol as a gift. There were a lot of interesting responses, obviously from many peopl...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

Just a question, maybe its more of a thought?? Pretty much all A are alike. Their patterns, behaviors are very similar. * Thats why we have so much in common, right? So does the same rule apply to A that are in recovery, sober? *I have been researching alot about behaviors, success stories...

Tracy · Tracy

I have been doing some self estem work on myself and it appears that my internal mind talk tells me I am not important and puts lots of demands on me. E>G I should be strong, fix things, put others first, I AM NOT IMPORTANT. I never slept last night realising the unmeetable demands I have placed on me I a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha All...I haven't back checked on a phone call my Eldest Son and I were having in which he said that his cousin, the eldest son of my younger brother was coming for a visit...Actually was running from the trashing his alcoholism was doing to his family. My son and I talked about what it use to be like,...

reqforpeace · reqforpeace

Hello everyone...I am new to this site, I guess out of desperation. I have a father who is an Alcoholic. We was clean for 16 years, that was between my college years up to my mid 30s. He started drinking again about 5 years ago..Its been just awful. I also live many states away, so its hard to keep tabs on hi...

member922 · member922

Just wanted to share a bit. I am no longer irritated by my bf's smoking anymore. He doesn't do it around me and I hardly ever think about what he is doing while he is home all stressed out. He can do what he needs to. He doesn't do it here. I am very fortunate that I do not live with this man. I highly doubt I...

roxygirl · roxygirl

My son is 27 yrs. old and he went to rehab from 4/10 - 6/10 and then moved into my house so he could get back on his feet. I thought to myself, this is it, he is going to finally get his life back on track! And he started out going to AA meetings for the first month. He got a part time. He was living at my house for...

babygirl71 · babygirl71

I haven't posted for awhile. My A did a week in detox and decided he was getting out. I made perhaps the colossal mistake of letting him come home. He said he was going to leave treatment regardless, that he had done treatment, that he just needed to detox, etc etc. Plus- I was scared about doing it on my own...

clep · clep

My A decided a while back to go into his old profession that does not mix well with his disease or with another shortcoming is concerned that is a huge factor in our relationship. I was deeply upset at his choice. The job he has now is for a wonderful family man that has strong values. He has lots of flex...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Woke up with a bad stomach, weak. But becuz of Al Anon I think ok this is how it is. Didn't try to figure out why, or fight it. I just did not feel good. So I took tiny steps. Cleaned all the drawers in the kitchen out, some cubboards too. Took all the pics down and stuff off my walls and shelves packed'em.tosse...

Finding Courage · Finding Courage

Hello. I am brand new to this site, and to Al-Anon. I have attended two meetings (two Monday nights in a row), and am already feeling more hopeful. I know I have a long road ahead of me. My spirit is pretty bruised these days. I am hoping to find a place in addition to my meetings. Everyone was so nice a...

bakoshelly · bakoshelly

Hi, I am new to this posting and found it by accident. I have been sporadic with Al-Anon meetings, had a sponsor who didn't follow up, so I used it as an excuse to give up last time. I found myself with another alcoholic...REALLY?? Ugh. I am open to any encouraging words and suggestions to keep me on tr...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I was stumbling through some old files the other day, and found my "list" that I prepared for my 'family conference' that I had with my ex-AW at her treatment center. I was asked to speak to my wife (at the time) and her counselor, and tell my wife exactly how her drinking had affected myself a...

Aloha · Aloha

This morning I felt compelled to read all of my daily readers before starting my day in full. I have a copy of ODAT at home, Courage to Change in my car, and Hope for Today in my desk. I needed everything I read out of each reader. I was exaggeratedly cranky yesterday afternoon. I have a huge project looming...

kath · kath

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaVg0cWkgAw

Hayes · Hayes

I am just so pleased I went tonight. I really am. I don't feel alone in this. When for the past few days I have felt total despair, so alone in this. Almost wanting to end it all. Tonight, I feel hope. We are focussing on Step 1 which is just perfect. I heard the words letting go of this fight. And I think, I thi...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

Yes, I attend Alanon meetings. Yes, I read the books. Yes, I pray and pray and pray. Yes and Yes and Yes..... After 15 years of marriage, there are alot of layers that have been damaged. Like a onion, Im trying to peel a layer off.......one day at a time. With my AH coming home from rehab next week, it h...

terrysys · terrysys

after 7 years and many attempts I finally made my AH leave. it was the hardest thing I've ever done. a week later he's going to AA and begging to talk and be better. after all the hurt and hate I don't want to go back, I don't care that NOW he wants to get better, that it took filing for divorce for him to reali...

Jozie · Jozie

Ya Know, Its Funny how just when you think Your Day Couldn't get any worse, you wake up and Realize it really isn't that bad...lol... I am So Grateful for a Program that Allows me to see such things, I remember when I was Younger and would have a Bad day over just about "Any" thing that didn't go &...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hairline Fracture in Disk Degenerative Disk Disorder Herniated Disk (2) Knee Surgery (acl, mcl, meniscus and cartridge) Loose Bones Removed from elbow Those are the ailments that contributed to the need for pain medication in my husbands life. His job is not a light duty job. He operates heavy mac...

hopeful332 · hopeful332

Hello all I been sitting here for the last couple of hours trying to get myself to an alanon meeting but its not easy. I been dealing with this disease for the last 4 years with my daughter. She is now almost 20 years old and left our house again last night because we discovered she was stealing from us again...

casa · casa

I won't be able to chair tonight's meeting. Would someone please cover? Thank you so much! :)

kath · kath

The Voice of Truth tells me a different story...I love that song by Casting Crowns. I have listened to the lies of my AH for way too long. I am wavering today. I should not have read all the hateful messages telling me that I am an unfit mother and that I am a whore because for so long I have believed every litt...

kath · kath

Just started back up with college this semester. Did well last semester, two A's and a B in a really difficult class!! I am no longer taking our daughter to visit her father who is an A. The environment is bad for all of us. He has to get high all the time so when we are there he leaves but comes back smelling li...

Fiddleman · Fiddleman

Hi All I am thinking today about how to maintain detachment and move forward in dealing with my A son, age 27. It seems I can make progress in my Al Anon program, both F2F meetings, plus readings, working my steps, etc. but where the rubber meets the road it is still difficult. My goal is to achieve sereni...

clep · clep

My A has had a sponsor for the past year. His sponsor's wife was my sponsor. For many reasons I dropped that scenario and my sponsor a few months ago. He dropped his sponsor as we fought about him all the time. There were a few things the sponsor was advising him on that I would not accept. That was one i...

maresie · maresie

Prior to al anon if I met someone who was an alcoholic or addict I didn't make a decision regarding boundaries because I doubted my perceptions. I had no trust in my abilty to assess other people. I gave them the benefit of the doubt for years and years. This week a new woman started at my job. She lives c...

floridawife · floridawife

So I went to my first f2f meeting on Saturday. WOW, That was hard!!! I honestly didn't think it would be that hard. I think I started crying before the meeting even started. I calmed down some until the subject of detachment came up. That is a tough subject for me and something I am having trouble with. I k...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I had my best friend call me. I was pretty down this morn. He told me I needed sleep. Ok I am always telling you guys to nap, I forgot to do it myself! so I did. Woke up feeling better. Guess what? I am putting my down payment on my cabin on Monday. I put my horse on CL. Not ten min. later I got an email. It was the sam...

stephaniej · stephaniej

My AH arrived home very early on Thursday morning, and is leaving to return to his jobsite today. I had some issues during the weekend, including watching, in spite of myself, *very closely* how much he drank. But I didn't say anything. A few times I had the opportunity to make some very passive aggre...

monarae · monarae

has anyone out there experienced anything like this? the rage doesnt always seem to be brought on by anything particular but escalates to total anger over the smallest thing.

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I really don't know if I will be able to do this detachment thing. I am somewhat prone to anxiety. I need to keep check on it and use relaxation exercises, etc. When my AH isn't drinking and is paying attention to the family, I hardly need to do a thing to check my anxiety. This is a big thing, b /c my job is dif...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I hope its ok to share how great the f2f meetings are here :) I mean I know you all kept telling me how great they are, but I kept putting it off and thought I could get by without them. Well they are just another great tool to put in my box, having a real meeting to get to, to be at and contribute to helps me so...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

I finally, after giving ABF too many chances and repeatedly getting hurt and lied to and taken advantage of, basically cut him out of my life. For my sake and my daughter's. I've been working my program, focusing on me, etc. But at the same time I was still hanging onto the insane hope that he would hit bot...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My former sponsor would have either or both had a good laugh or/and then had a heart attack if he had witnessed me take the "Don't" away from the slogan "Don't React". I did and did it well...I had other choices but flew past that awareness in a mircosecond and then got myself good...

dhotch · dhotch

My brother is 35 and an alchoholic. He doesn't think he has a problem. He recently moved back home with my parents and my 2 sisters. He doesn't have a job nor a driver's license. Recently, he has started to become more agitated after being at the bar all night. He comes home late and barges into my si...

jereh · jereh

I have a wonderful 4 year old grand daughter named Natalie. Not going to get into a lot of details here but Natalie's mother is actually one of my step daughter's. My step daughter has a very serious drinking problem, cannot hold a job. We have had legal custody of Natalie in the past and pretty much ra...

Aloha · Aloha

It's really a whole new world when I'm living by myself. I don't get the volume of exterior drama that I had when I lived with the exAH. This is such a great opportunity, but at the same time, it's also a very tempting place for me to get complacent about working my program. Nothing's stressing me out with t...

Bettina · Bettina

"When you look at plants in winter, most have neither flowers or leaves. The may seem to be not alive at all, but thats not true. They are waiting for the right time to bloom, they are waiting for the best time for them. In the same way you need to believe in your own inner strength and wisdom, utilize...

wintergirl · wintergirl

are there any chats that are open now for alanon support. can not get out to a meeting right now. hoping to go next week.

Debilyn · Debilyn

UPdate part! I just got an email I can have this place if I want it! You guys its late, I tend to be pretty weak when I am tired. I have to tell you I am scared. Very scared. I know moving is always hard right? I have to go no matter what. I will go put the deposit down Tuesday to hold to Feb. The internet and tv are be...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I have been working hard here since July 28th... And last night I decided I need some face to face time too. And I didn't have my kids or anything going on. So I went. My bf actually went to a meeting in the next room for him as well. I had already decided I was going no matter what, if he went to one or not. I...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

AH is coming home within a week from a 28 day intensive rehab. Honestly, Im nervous, and dont know if all of my mixed up emotions can handle his arrival..The mental issues or so called A behaviors are the ones that will throw me under the bus faster than anything... I have already heard them on the phone wh...

wintergirl · wintergirl

I hear often "don't be an enabler"...I need help understanding how to practice that.

Jennifer · Jennifer

Yes I am a glutton ... I got through my classes, moved the business, worked enough to pay for my life and hopefully this semester and finished it all up in time to have one weekend off and here I go again. I'll be checking in and reading as much as possible and thinking of you all constantly but probably not...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

My wife came home from rehab on Wednesday. We are separated, but we went out for dinner as a family Wednesday and we made dinner together last night, and she hung out for a couple of hours both nights. The difference in her has been amazing so far. It is like these last two nights she has been present in t...

Hayes · Hayes

I feel so disappointed. MY AH organised to have my daughter's friend from childcare of this evening and her parents for dinner. I thought it was a big ask as the house is really messy and I've had really bad morning sickness. I said three days ago that I wasn't feeling comfortable with this. But he assure...

billr · billr

I am a recovering alcoholic (almost two years sober, absolutely zero slips not even a sip) and am married to an alcoholic. I am sure for those never having been an alcoholic personally, that living with one can be extremely difficult/impossible. Trust me, its alot worse (?) when you are a recoverin...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

One day at a time right? Today was a good day. Something happened yesterday while reading responses here and hearing from my wonderful sponsor.... I became aware of what you have all been telling me all along. To set boundaries they have to be for me and there cannot ever be an expectation that those...

jocelgp · jocelgp

how do I start participating in this forum?

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I'm new to Al-Anon and am working hard to change my ways of thinking (I'm also going to F2F meetings). As a newbie, I'm experiencing a lot of confusion with trying to understand my behaviors and attitudes. I find myself struggling with having boundaries versus trying to control someone's behavior...

Lizabelle123 · Lizabelle123

I think my husband is an alcoholic but he does not. He knows he has a problem drinking but believes he can control it. I believe he needs help and to abstain from alcohol. But, I also want to believe in him and feel like if I don't give him a chance to prove himself to me then I'm somehow letting him down and...

Rose · Rose

Why does my AH think its ok that he buys the bottles of wine and drinks them at night while we are sleeping? He says, he's not out, he's home and he provides for the family..... Should I bend down and kiss his feet? A little angry right now and need to vent. Last week I turned the computer on and all porn sites...

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://corvallis.craigslist.org/apa/2139275436.html

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Proud of myself today! (Preview) So, today I was cleaning out the pool and the filters despite the freezing cold water. I found a beer bottle label in the main filter and pulled it out. In the past, I would have accused AH of drinking this fancy Russian beer knowing full well that he would blame a neighbor for their trash blowing into ou...	ilovedogs	6	723	Jan 30, 2011 by ilovedogs
	trying to follow through and it always blows up in my face (Preview) I think Al-Anon encourages us to detach. In this detaching, we aren't expected to totally pretend nothing bad has happened, right? We are encouraged to state our feelings without pointing fingers or judging. Is this correct? Maybe there should be some fine print about the fact it could blow up in you...	looking_for_peace	5	1144	Jan 30, 2011 by Aloha
	How do you find happy? (Preview) I am hoping someday I get blessed with that again. Again I am very grateful for all I have. Its not that. I've forgotten what happiness feels like. Hate admitting that. Though I put my first months rent down today. (c: So we will be here awhile. I can take my time. Clean up as much as I can here before I let go...	Debilyn	10	719	Jan 30, 2011 by Debilyn
	Detachment with love (Preview) I have cut myself off from my 30 year old son. I pray for the surrender he needs to get well. But struggle with the guilt of my decision to cut ties. I wish God would have me know that I am doing the right thing. Is it my ego that makes me think that others are judging the choice I made? Am just looking for affrima...	Laura Baker	3	1610	Jan 30, 2011 by abbyal
	Just venting is all (Preview) I think I've had enough. Enough of the lies, the cheating, the excuses. I'm tired of tiptoeing around him and having to tell the kids to tiptoe as well. It's sad that they know that Dads been drinking, just by his demeanor these days.. My one son asked me one day last week... "how much has he had so far...	Evian	4	894	Jan 30, 2011 by Debilyn
	Another family member made the choice (Preview) My aunt killed herself last Thursday in the bathtub where my sister tried to drown herself in alchohol for hours at a time. I'm feeling very tired and have become run down this past week holding in all my emotions in the presence of my family. I've gone into dark spiritual space a couple of times, this is t...	quietearth	7	996	Jan 30, 2011 by Debilyn
	Really strong response to alcohol in a Dear Abby column today (Preview) http://tinyurl.com/5skujvb I was reading today's Dear Abby online with interest. The column received a lot of backlash from the community in regards to advice that had been given regarding it being okay to give alcohol as a gift. There were a lot of interesting responses, obviously from many peopl...	Aloha	7	2435	Jan 29, 2011 by freeagain
	Why Is there a difference ???? (Preview) Just a question, maybe its more of a thought?? Pretty much all A are alike. Their patterns, behaviors are very similar. * Thats why we have so much in common, right? So does the same rule apply to A that are in recovery, sober? *I have been researching alot about behaviors, success stories...	KimmyJo	7	807	Jan 29, 2011 by abbyal
	need o vent sorry (Preview) I have been doing some self estem work on myself and it appears that my internal mind talk tells me I am not important and puts lots of demands on me. E>G I should be strong, fix things, put others first, I AM NOT IMPORTANT. I never slept last night realising the unmeetable demands I have placed on me I a...	Tracy	4	697	Jan 29, 2011 by f2fmember
	Generational Alcoholism (Preview) Aloha All...I haven't back checked on a phone call my Eldest Son and I were having in which he said that his cousin, the eldest son of my younger brother was coming for a visit...Actually was running from the trashing his alcoholism was doing to his family. My son and I talked about what it use to be like,...	Jerry F	6	996	Jan 29, 2011 by glad lee
	New to this site...needs suggestions/advice (Preview) Hello everyone...I am new to this site, I guess out of desperation. I have a father who is an Alcoholic. We was clean for 16 years, that was between my college years up to my mid 30s. He started drinking again about 5 years ago..Its been just awful. I also live many states away, so its hard to keep tabs on hi...	reqforpeace	9	833	Jan 29, 2011 by pamela0926
	Think I have made some progress (Preview) Just wanted to share a bit. I am no longer irritated by my bf's smoking anymore. He doesn't do it around me and I hardly ever think about what he is doing while he is home all stressed out. He can do what he needs to. He doesn't do it here. I am very fortunate that I do not live with this man. I highly doubt I...	member922	4	666	Jan 29, 2011 by member922
	Sober but DISRESPECTFUL and ABUSIVE! (Preview) My son is 27 yrs. old and he went to rehab from 4/10 - 6/10 and then moved into my house so he could get back on his feet. I thought to myself, this is it, he is going to finally get his life back on track! And he started out going to AA meetings for the first month. He got a part time. He was living at my house for...	roxygirl	6	1005	Jan 29, 2011 by Karilynn
	Feeling like a failure (Preview) I haven't posted for awhile. My A did a week in detox and decided he was getting out. I made perhaps the colossal mistake of letting him come home. He said he was going to leave treatment regardless, that he had done treatment, that he just needed to detox, etc etc. Plus- I was scared about doing it on my own...	babygirl71	7	821	Jan 29, 2011 by abbyal
	HP is guiding (Preview) My A decided a while back to go into his old profession that does not mix well with his disease or with another shortcoming is concerned that is a huge factor in our relationship. I was deeply upset at his choice. The job he has now is for a wonderful family man that has strong values. He has lots of flex...	clep	2	570	Jan 28, 2011 by RLC
	Just stuff (Preview) Woke up with a bad stomach, weak. But becuz of Al Anon I think ok this is how it is. Didn't try to figure out why, or fight it. I just did not feel good. So I took tiny steps. Cleaned all the drawers in the kitchen out, some cubboards too. Took all the pics down and stuff off my walls and shelves packed'em.tosse...	Debilyn	8	713	Jan 28, 2011 by DreamXL
	Brand new (Preview) Hello. I am brand new to this site, and to Al-Anon. I have attended two meetings (two Monday nights in a row), and am already feeling more hopeful. I know I have a long road ahead of me. My spirit is pretty bruised these days. I am hoping to find a place in addition to my meetings. Everyone was so nice a...	Finding Courage	4	697	Jan 28, 2011 by SteppingUp
	Newby (Preview) Hi, I am new to this posting and found it by accident. I have been sporadic with Al-Anon meetings, had a sponsor who didn't follow up, so I used it as an excuse to give up last time. I found myself with another alcoholic...REALLY?? Ugh. I am open to any encouraging words and suggestions to keep me on tr...	bakoshelly	4	683	Jan 27, 2011 by abbyal
	Family Conference.... (Preview) I was stumbling through some old files the other day, and found my "list" that I prepared for my 'family conference' that I had with my ex-AW at her treatment center. I was asked to speak to my wife (at the time) and her counselor, and tell my wife exactly how her drinking had affected myself a...	canadianguy	13	1216	Jan 27, 2011 by SteppingUp
	Have fun, replace instead of eliminate and keep the focus on me. (Preview) This morning I felt compelled to read all of my daily readers before starting my day in full. I have a copy of ODAT at home, Courage to Change in my car, and Hope for Today in my desk. I needed everything I read out of each reader. I was exaggeratedly cranky yesterday afternoon. I have a huge project looming...	Aloha	3	840	Jan 27, 2011 by kitty
	song (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaVg0cWkgAw	kath	3	728	Jan 27, 2011 by looking_for_peace
	First F2F Meeting in Quite A While! (Preview) I am just so pleased I went tonight. I really am. I don't feel alone in this. When for the past few days I have felt total despair, so alone in this. Almost wanting to end it all. Tonight, I feel hope. We are focussing on Step 1 which is just perfect. I heard the words letting go of this fight. And I think, I thi...	Hayes	4	692	Jan 27, 2011 by member922
	WHY AM I IN THE FOG????? (Preview) Yes, I attend Alanon meetings. Yes, I read the books. Yes, I pray and pray and pray. Yes and Yes and Yes..... After 15 years of marriage, there are alot of layers that have been damaged. Like a onion, Im trying to peel a layer off.......one day at a time. With my AH coming home from rehab next week, it h...	KimmyJo	6	1202	Jan 26, 2011 by Emi
	help staying stong (Preview) after 7 years and many attempts I finally made my AH leave. it was the hardest thing I've ever done. a week later he's going to AA and begging to talk and be better. after all the hurt and hate I don't want to go back, I don't care that NOW he wants to get better, that it took filing for divorce for him to reali...	terrysys	4	831	Jan 26, 2011 by Phoe
	The Brighter Side :) (Preview) Ya Know, Its Funny how just when you think Your Day Couldn't get any worse, you wake up and Realize it really isn't that bad...lol... I am So Grateful for a Program that Allows me to see such things, I remember when I was Younger and would have a Bad day over just about "Any" thing that didn't go &...	Jozie	1	708	Jan 26, 2011 by hotrod
	Am I enabling? (Preview) Hairline Fracture in Disk Degenerative Disk Disorder Herniated Disk (2) Knee Surgery (acl, mcl, meniscus and cartridge) Loose Bones Removed from elbow Those are the ailments that contributed to the need for pain medication in my husbands life. His job is not a light duty job. He operates heavy mac...	Sincerely	5	803	Jan 26, 2011 by Rhivenn
	My 19 year old daughter (Preview) Hello all I been sitting here for the last couple of hours trying to get myself to an alanon meeting but its not easy. I been dealing with this disease for the last 4 years with my daughter. She is now almost 20 years old and left our house again last night because we discovered she was stealing from us again...	hopeful332	5	1070	Jan 26, 2011 by Jerry F
	CHAIR NEEDED FOR TONIGHT'S MEETING! (Preview) I won't be able to chair tonight's meeting. Would someone please cover? Thank you so much! :)	casa	0	391	Jan 25, 2011 by casa
	believing the truth (Preview) The Voice of Truth tells me a different story...I love that song by Casting Crowns. I have listened to the lies of my AH for way too long. I am wavering today. I should not have read all the hateful messages telling me that I am an unfit mother and that I am a whore because for so long I have believed every litt...	kath	5	1064	Jan 25, 2011 by kath
	encouragement (Preview) Just started back up with college this semester. Did well last semester, two A's and a B in a really difficult class!! I am no longer taking our daughter to visit her father who is an A. The environment is bad for all of us. He has to get high all the time so when we are there he leaves but comes back smelling li...	kath	6	727	Jan 25, 2011 by kath
	Need Help with How to Maintain Detachment and Feel OK detachment son Steps 1-3 (Preview) Hi All I am thinking today about how to maintain detachment and move forward in dealing with my A son, age 27. It seems I can make progress in my Al Anon program, both F2F meetings, plus readings, working my steps, etc. but where the rubber meets the road it is still difficult. My goal is to achieve sereni...	Fiddleman	6	6607	Jan 24, 2011 by Jerry F
	I finally told him the truth. (Preview) My A has had a sponsor for the past year. His sponsor's wife was my sponsor. For many reasons I dropped that scenario and my sponsor a few months ago. He dropped his sponsor as we fought about him all the time. There were a few things the sponsor was advising him on that I would not accept. That was one i...	clep	1	803	Jan 24, 2011 by pinkchip
	self doubt (Preview) Prior to al anon if I met someone who was an alcoholic or addict I didn't make a decision regarding boundaries because I doubted my perceptions. I had no trust in my abilty to assess other people. I gave them the benefit of the doubt for years and years. This week a new woman started at my job. She lives c...	maresie	6	974	Jan 24, 2011 by Rita G
	Went to my 1st f2f meeting Saturday (Preview) So I went to my first f2f meeting on Saturday. WOW, That was hard!!! I honestly didn't think it would be that hard. I think I started crying before the meeting even started. I calmed down some until the subject of detachment came up. That is a tough subject for me and something I am having trouble with. I k...	floridawife	3	522	Jan 24, 2011 by abbyal
	Miracle after miracle (Preview) I had my best friend call me. I was pretty down this morn. He told me I needed sleep. Ok I am always telling you guys to nap, I forgot to do it myself! so I did. Woke up feeling better. Guess what? I am putting my down payment on my cabin on Monday. I put my horse on CL. Not ten min. later I got an email. It was the sam...	Debilyn	15	1368	Jan 24, 2011 by Jennifer
	Celebrating my Triumphs and Progress (Preview) My AH arrived home very early on Thursday morning, and is leaving to return to his jobsite today. I had some issues during the weekend, including watching, in spite of myself, very closely how much he drank. But I didn't say anything. A few times I had the opportunity to make some very passive aggre...	stephaniej	2	681	Jan 24, 2011 by canadianguy
	my husband is an alcoholic and has become a rageaholic (Preview) has anyone out there experienced anything like this? the rage doesnt always seem to be brought on by anything particular but escalates to total anger over the smallest thing.	monarae	3	2278	Jan 24, 2011 by Nalina
	Having an AH increases my amxiety symptoms (Preview) I really don't know if I will be able to do this detachment thing. I am somewhat prone to anxiety. I need to keep check on it and use relaxation exercises, etc. When my AH isn't drinking and is paying attention to the family, I hardly need to do a thing to check my anxiety. This is a big thing, b /c my job is dif...	looking_for_peace	4	899	Jan 24, 2011 by Debilyn
	Another great f2f (Preview) I hope its ok to share how great the f2f meetings are here :) I mean I know you all kept telling me how great they are, but I kept putting it off and thought I could get by without them. Well they are just another great tool to put in my box, having a real meeting to get to, to be at and contribute to helps me so...	sunflowergirl	3	667	Jan 24, 2011 by Jerry F
	Saying Good-Bye (Preview) I finally, after giving ABF too many chances and repeatedly getting hurt and lied to and taken advantage of, basically cut him out of my life. For my sake and my daughter's. I've been working my program, focusing on me, etc. But at the same time I was still hanging onto the insane hope that he would hit bot...	jettiesgirl	9	1176	Jan 23, 2011 by jettiesgirl
	Attacked my serenity tonight... (Preview) My former sponsor would have either or both had a good laugh or/and then had a heart attack if he had witnessed me take the "Don't" away from the slogan "Don't React". I did and did it well...I had other choices but flew past that awareness in a mircosecond and then got myself good...	Jerry F	11	1039	Jan 23, 2011 by Fiddleman
	Need some advice about very serious situation (Preview) My brother is 35 and an alchoholic. He doesn't think he has a problem. He recently moved back home with my parents and my 2 sisters. He doesn't have a job nor a driver's license. Recently, he has started to become more agitated after being at the bar all night. He comes home late and barges into my si...	dhotch	11	1173	Jan 23, 2011 by xeno59
	Step daughter's drinking (Preview) I have a wonderful 4 year old grand daughter named Natalie. Not going to get into a lot of details here but Natalie's mother is actually one of my step daughter's. My step daughter has a very serious drinking problem, cannot hold a job. We have had legal custody of Natalie in the past and pretty much ra...	jereh	4	818	Jan 23, 2011 by xeno59
	Keep the focus on me. (Preview) It's really a whole new world when I'm living by myself. I don't get the volume of exterior drama that I had when I lived with the exAH. This is such a great opportunity, but at the same time, it's also a very tempting place for me to get complacent about working my program. Nothing's stressing me out with t...	Aloha	5	1485	Jan 23, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	Inspirational Words... (Preview) "When you look at plants in winter, most have neither flowers or leaves. The may seem to be not alive at all, but thats not true. They are waiting for the right time to bloom, they are waiting for the best time for them. In the same way you need to believe in your own inner strength and wisdom, utilize...	Bettina	6	2679	Jan 22, 2011 by Jerry F
	chats for support (Preview) are there any chats that are open now for alanon support. can not get out to a meeting right now. hoping to go next week.	wintergirl	1	548	Jan 22, 2011 by Christy
	HP decisions and rug NOT pulled out....(c:UPDATE!!!! (Preview) UPdate part! I just got an email I can have this place if I want it! You guys its late, I tend to be pretty weak when I am tired. I have to tell you I am scared. Very scared. I know moving is always hard right? I have to go no matter what. I will go put the deposit down Tuesday to hold to Feb. The internet and tv are be...	Debilyn	5	1441	Jan 22, 2011 by VickieB
	Went to a f2f last night :) (Preview) I have been working hard here since July 28th... And last night I decided I need some face to face time too. And I didn't have my kids or anything going on. So I went. My bf actually went to a meeting in the next room for him as well. I had already decided I was going no matter what, if he went to one or not. I...	sunflowergirl	10	727	Jan 22, 2011 by knowmadic
	Is there a difference in LIQUIDS??? (Preview) AH is coming home within a week from a 28 day intensive rehab. Honestly, Im nervous, and dont know if all of my mixed up emotions can handle his arrival..The mental issues or so called A behaviors are the ones that will throw me under the bus faster than anything... I have already heard them on the phone wh...	KimmyJo	11	2262	Jan 22, 2011 by pinkchip
	trying to understand (Preview) I hear often "don't be an enabler"...I need help understanding how to practice that.	wintergirl	4	718	Jan 22, 2011 by wintergirl
	Back to the books and other stuff (Preview) Yes I am a glutton ... I got through my classes, moved the business, worked enough to pay for my life and hopefully this semester and finished it all up in time to have one weekend off and here I go again. I'll be checking in and reading as much as possible and thinking of you all constantly but probably not...	Jennifer	2	564	Jan 21, 2011 by Debilyn
	feeling hopeful (Preview) My wife came home from rehab on Wednesday. We are separated, but we went out for dinner as a family Wednesday and we made dinner together last night, and she hung out for a couple of hours both nights. The difference in her has been amazing so far. It is like these last two nights she has been present in t...	DadtoCandE	5	759	Jan 21, 2011 by Jerry F
	Just Got my AH to Cancel A Playdate (Preview) I feel so disappointed. MY AH organised to have my daughter's friend from childcare of this evening and her parents for dinner. I thought it was a big ask as the house is really messy and I've had really bad morning sickness. I said three days ago that I wasn't feeling comfortable with this. But he assure...	Hayes	9	1007	Jan 21, 2011 by McFripp
	My story ... (Preview) I am a recovering alcoholic (almost two years sober, absolutely zero slips not even a sip) and am married to an alcoholic. I am sure for those never having been an alcoholic personally, that living with one can be extremely difficult/impossible. Trust me, its alot worse (?) when you are a recoverin...	billr	9	1191	Jan 21, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	More and more I am getting it :) (Preview) One day at a time right? Today was a good day. Something happened yesterday while reading responses here and hearing from my wonderful sponsor.... I became aware of what you have all been telling me all along. To set boundaries they have to be for me and there cannot ever be an expectation that those...	sunflowergirl	5	664	Jan 21, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	how do i get started? (Preview) how do I start participating in this forum?	jocelgp	3	797	Jan 21, 2011 by canadianguy
	Boundaries vs. control (Preview) I'm new to Al-Anon and am working hard to change my ways of thinking (I'm also going to F2F meetings). As a newbie, I'm experiencing a lot of confusion with trying to understand my behaviors and attitudes. I find myself struggling with having boundaries versus trying to control someone's behavior...	Very Very Tired	15	8329	Jan 21, 2011 by maisey
	Is it irresponsible? (Preview) I think my husband is an alcoholic but he does not. He knows he has a problem drinking but believes he can control it. I believe he needs help and to abstain from alcohol. But, I also want to believe in him and feel like if I don't give him a chance to prove himself to me then I'm somehow letting him down and...	Lizabelle123	4	708	Jan 21, 2011 by abbyal
	Why does my AH think its ok? (Preview) Why does my AH think its ok that he buys the bottles of wine and drinks them at night while we are sleeping? He says, he's not out, he's home and he provides for the family..... Should I bend down and kiss his feet? A little angry right now and need to vent. Last week I turned the computer on and all porn sites...	Rose	13	1087	Jan 21, 2011 by danielle0516
	amazing update (Preview) http://corvallis.craigslist.org/apa/2139275436.html	Debilyn	15	950	Jan 20, 2011 by Jennifer
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.