Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I've been thinking a lot about my biggest fear when I got here - which was letting go. I thought that letting go was a sign of defeat, and I was so scared of what would happen if I did it. I was mostly afraid that if I let go, I'd lose my AH. As bad as his drinking was, I thought it would be worse without my help...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am here to be honest right? Well last night, my bf had to go to a DUI thing. In this state, they have people take these once a week classes inorder to get their license back. Anyway, he drank 4 nips of vodka before the class, over a period of a few hours. I tried super hard to stay on my own side of the stree...

danyell · danyell

Yep, tyipical first born, type A, perfectionist who tried to handle it on my own for so long. I just became angry and bitter at all the betrayal, hurt and pain my husband was causing me because of his drinking. We have been together for 17 years..married for almost 12 of those years. College sweethea...

nadjjaa · nadjjaa

So my husband is getting ready to go on diversion for his recent DUI. He will not be able to drink for 1 year and will have to submit to pee tests. THAT'S how he plans to deal with his alcohol issues. As for his depression, anxiety, anger, stress problems, he's decided to go off his Effexor (depression me...

clep · clep

Today in church I just broke down and cried. My A burned his AA book a while ago and then went back to the program. The recovery didn't last long and I noticed on Friday tha he hasn't gone to meetings in over a month I think. I don't really remember. I notice him obsessing over our pets, over becoming a b...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I had coffee with a friend of mine this morning and we were catching up on news. I told her i had been attending al-anon meetings since October and how much progress I have made already. She told me one of her best friend said al-anon is a life changing experience. I let that statement sync in but I have to a...

devlynn · devlynn

I just talked to my friend. I gave her to low down on ABF and what all happened when I told him he couldn't live here and so on. This one of the same friends that told me if I stayed with ABF she wouldn't have anything to do with me anymore. I've shared with her many things that have learned in my recover and...

youfoundme · youfoundme

"I came to Al-Anon confused about what was and was not my responsibility. Today, after lots of Step work, I believe I am responsible for the following: to be loyal to my values to please myself first to rid myself of anger and resentment to express my ideas and feelings instead of stuffing them to a...

devlynn · devlynn

Wow...I feel "blank" right now. I can feel so many emotions getting ready to surface but they are fighting over which one is going to surface first. I just talked to my ABF who is in jail. His emotions have been flop flopping all over the place when I talk to him. Part of being I guess, can't co...

atheos · atheos

I had a nightmare, which left me feeling pretty shaken. I wanted to hear a voice on the other end of the phone, and my sister usually gets up at 5 AM (it was 7 AM), so I thought it was OK to call her. But it turns out she'd gone to bed late, so I woke her up early. Only getting two hours of sleep is really not a good th...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Another post here really got me thinking. For those of you that have attended alanon for a long time and have seen people move through the program, I am wondering if people usually stay with their partners who are active alcoholics or wind up leaving? I can't help but think the inevitable result of fo...

Rora · Rora

I don't know why it took me so long to realize that the tolerance that I offered my exaH over the years, (the OVER tolerance), was all about ME, not HIM. At one time I thought I was loving him, offering him the support and understanding he needed and deserved. I thought I was not turning my back on him. I w...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I was wondering if anyone has had experiences with an alcoholic that had delusions. I have been searching on the Internet for information regarding delusions. Like everything else, I suspect the delusions can become more frequent and their nature more bizarre with time. I'm very concerned about...

Della · Della

Any alcoholics here can tell me why they started drinking in the first place? Or can any families of the alcoholic tell me why the A in their life started drinking? I joined here yesterday but if you didn't catch any of my few posts, my fiance of 5 years died a little over a month ago from this terrible, evil...

Ness · Ness

Phone rang Sat night.....recognised the code as the town my son is in, but didnt recognise the number......let the answering service take it. Message from the police, (Ason) is in custody, court today (Monday). So........a: I know hes alive & b: he was safe in a police cell all weekend. Dont know...

Brooke · Brooke

Hi, I am new to Al-Anon. Just learning and relieved for the help available. Im 40yrs of age, and we just had our 20yr wedding anniversary. We've two sons, 11 and 3yrs. The last 9months have been a nightmare. My husband started drinking to avoid his unbearable feelings, and apparently my anger toward hi...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone:) My husband has been sober almost 4 months, went the detox then rehab, then back to detox and rehab, and now he lives in a sober living home, got a job, supports himself and does all he can to help me out (coming over here and cutting the grass, giving me money every payday, just helping out)....

Corgi2 · Corgi2

I just wanted to thank all of you who shared your experience and kind words with me. It's been 24 hours since I've heard from him =*( I've tried to call and text him, but he is blatantly ignoring me. At a meeting last night, someone told me that he is avoiding me because I am his reality. When he's out having a...

parfait624 · parfait624

My ABF and I have been going through this struggle of being back and fourth with each other since the holidays. He is over three years sober from alcohol right now. However he is still smoking pot heavily and over the holidays his addiction to poker took over in the drivers seat. I started going to ala...

nsnyder304 · nsnyder304

This is all new to me. My husband just checked into rehab 5 days ago. We have been married for 11 yrs., 12 yrs. this August. He has always been a drinker & so have I but I seemed to grow out of it over the yrs. His mother passed away 4 yrs ago & the drinking really seemed to get bad. I didn't understand at...

atheos · atheos

I seem to see that one a lot around here... what does it mean?

WAJess · WAJess

I have been around alcoholics (recovering for the most part) for all of my life. I participated in Alateen when I was younger and seemed to push away from it- so hard- as I got older. Looking back at it, I believe my intention was to break the cycle without having to be "one of those friends of Bill o...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Monday a.m. Al-anon meeting as have medical tests at the hospital and will be unable to return home in time. Hoping someone will be able to step up for me. Thanks.

chinup · chinup

im trying it agin this being attemp 4 i hope and pray ill not pick up that phone and calll him this time,its hard really hard but its even harder knowing he is not in any recovery and he is a full blown a/addict,and only and only will he say rarely that he is in need of detoxing ,so then his body is clean and the...

oldergal · oldergal

So your the wife and your A finally starts going to AA, and you are going to Alanon. Your husband is doing good in recovery, and has now made new friends in AA and is cultivating those new relationships. Great, but you don't want to put a damper on those new friends from fear of him stopping recovery. But no...

devlynn · devlynn

My question is this: is there a difference Between someone who drinks a lot and an alcoholic? I have a friend who says she was an alcoholic about 15 years ago. I was surprised because I've never really seen her drink. Even at parties where it was plentiful. I've seen have a glass of wine with dinner kind...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I am curious to know what triggers an alcoholic to look for help meaning e Going to AA for example. I am not judging when I say the following: a relative went into DT (delirium tremens) and had a DUI and denies she has a problem, a friend of mines dad is dying of liver failure due to alcohol and still denies. S...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi! I have a sponsor, I've worked the 12 steps (and continue to work it every day!!), and I live the solution in my life everyday. It's amazing how there is never a shortage of opportunities to use my nifty new al-anon tools. Life is funny that way, isn't it? Anyway, I have been to a few al-anon meetings (me...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Hi - sorry, I haven't been here for a little while. Things have been very difficult. AH, having been told after his last hospital admission that he must give up drinking, eat normally and take his prescribed medication, has done none of these things. His physical condition has been deteriorating bef...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I really don't like to throw all my personal stuff out there....but I really need to vent, I'm just beside myself, it's one thing after another and I never have the chance to work on my healing because I have so much on my plate!! In a nut shell, I'm trying to do everything I can to move forward emotionally...

devlynn · devlynn

Confusing subject line huh? LOL Here is my situation, (Im just going to put it out there like it so my brain wont hurt so much while i type this lol.) My ABF is disabled and receives SSDI. His doctors, the State and who ever else know he is an A, recovering addict and has been homeless on more then one occasi...

linbaba · linbaba

Boundaries to me are what the entire Program hinge on, learning where I end and another person begins, I spent nearly my entire life wondering why my "boundaries" worked with some people but not others, because I thought enforcing a boundary meant informing another person how they had ha...

Della · Della

Hi, I'm new here and this site was the first thing that came up when I typed in Al anon message board into google. My partner died recently from alcoholism. To be honest, since his death. I feel a bit at peace as before I was always worried each day whether he's be alive or not, what danger he'd put himself th...

linbaba · linbaba

Otie asked me to post on a few subjects, both in a thread, and in a PM, and they are so diverse I'd thought I'd split them up 12 stepping alcoholics/ ruining their drinking/ parents with alcoholic children First of all, I am a firm believer in a few things: The Three "C's" I can't control them I c...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I am so frustrated today. I have lost and chosen to lose many friends and my exAH to addiction behavior I am unable to live with. I live simply and pretty isolated except for a couple of handfuls of people who know alot of my daily life. Of those people roughly 5 know about the nonnarcotic medications I ha...

jamfu · jamfu

I read a reply to one of your posts. "The Alcoholic lies, cheats, manipulates, rationalizes his or her drink behaviors, argues, is selfish, is self-centered, is not trustworthy, guilty and the list can go on and on. The alcoholic is a mess spiritually, mentally and physically. The alcoholic i...

jamfu · jamfu

Thank you all for your posts. About the third time she relapsed I started going to meetings at a local church. But I was not ready then, and it was somewhat a bargain with her. You go to AA, and I'll go to al-anon. It will go away, and I'll never forget the lesson. I found you guys for a reason i suppose. I am re...

dotmeg · dotmeg

This is my first time posting. My husband will be getting out of jail (again) soon because of charges related to his drug addiction. This last time he has been in for approximately 10 months. He moved out almost 4 years ago and we have been legally separated (not divorced) for 3 years. We have 2 chil...

devlynn · devlynn

Howdy! Ok step one : We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. Pretty straight forward i guess... Well not so much...(I am the analogy queen just so you know this now lol) If i want to make brownies i turn the box around and read the directions. I follow them and i g...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I had court yesterday and I figured I could use a counseling session afterwards. So as I was talking about the day with exAH and how he has hardly worked due to his drinking and needing to sleep it off until noon that resulted in him not having to pay child support. Which i didn't even go after him for child s...

oldergal · oldergal

Could someone please explain what actually happens when a person who has been drinking alcohol has a blackout. Can someone who just starting drinking have a blackout?Does it only happen to someone who is progressed in alcoholism? Is it the amount of booze they drink? All responses are appreciated....

chinup · chinup

just what i needed to hear if u read my posts ive left on here youll understand why,and if u have time do plz read my post.its not easy for me at all but ive got to really get to working harder on my recovery before im doomed,ty agin for yur post and do keep coming back,ill be looking for yur posts......chinup...

Hayes · Hayes

Honestly - this is just a vent. I have to do it as I am losing it this very minute. Peak hour/dinner time/bed time in the family home. He had drunk one bottle of wine onto the next. He thinks he's funny and I don't know what - I just find it unsettling, loud, boistourous (sp?) and just generally not conducive...

jamfu · jamfu

Over the last several years my girlfriend has put herself in harms way everytime she had a drink. From falling flat one her face to driving blacked out. It is kind of a long story, but i am sure everyone's is. It went on too long with her doing something really stupid like hitting me, to where i shut down emo...

biglee · biglee

Greetings everyone... I am new to the boards, new to al-anon, and fairly new to relating to an alcoholic. My fiancee and I met in HS, and after 20 some years re-met. Fell fast in love, and after six months, moved in with one another. I knew he drank some, but not as much as I later discovered. After a serie...

devlynn · devlynn

I used to be good at ignoring signs, unless of course they smacked right in the head. Well I have been asking my HP to please give me signs and help me on what I should do about my ABF. (I posted my story about him and I and he is currently in jail) I have been talking to my sister and sharing all the details o...

chinup · chinup

my a,b/f dont live here i wont let him 1st of all,he says he loves me so so so much,he sounds so sicere like its coming from down deep in his heart,but in the beginning 3 yrs ago he used people for all they was worth he sucked the life out of me almost ,untill i put a stop to it now he lives with his boss and his fami...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Maybe you guys can help me see this in a different way? After the meeting ended the other night, we were all chatting a bit. An older man came up to me and said "Why don't you leave that bad guy of yours and find a nice guy, theres plenty out there?" I responded meekly, because I didn't know wha...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I changed from my grandsons pic as my avatar to a slug! hahahaha deb

Party of Five · Party of Five

Hi, Im PoF and Im a newbie.I wont go into the details of how I ended up here, only that once upon a time I had the perfect husband, perfect kids, perfect home, perfect lifeand alcoholism took most of that away from me.After (too many) years of attempting to help/support/cure/coerce my ex-husband into r...

Otie · Otie

Dear linbaba, I just read the post you made to Katy ("learning to love the person"). I feel that there are some message in there that are so well explained and would be of great help to a fledgling like myself. Would it be possible for you to make it a whole thread within itself (by special requ...

sdisnie · sdisnie

http://www.livestrong.com/article/14696-overcoming-the-need-to-fix/

jenel25 · jenel25

Over the past few years my husband's alcoholism has gotten much worse. My daughter is nearly 7 and by now I know she realizes that sometimes daddy's drinking makes me very unhappy, and I think she's just beginning to realize that when he behaves obnoxiously it has something to do with his drinking bee...

Evian · Evian

So, had court today. When AH found out that he was not going to be allowed to come back home, he freaked. Started getting irate with me, and telling me that I didn't support him at all in this whole thing. According to him, my lawyer, my counsellor and the CAS are all wrong, and I am scared of all of them, and w...

RLC · RLC

A man was walking along a rocky path overlooking a canyon hundreds of feet below when he slipped on the loose rock and fell straight down. He was lucky to grab hold of one small vine as he was falling and held on for dear life. He realized the small vine would not support him for long so he yelled at th...

Jerry F · Jerry F

is being teachable Jerry F", my elder sponsor taught me while I was working thru powerlessness and using rationalizations to decide what I work on and what I don't work on in recovery. I had a sponsor and was trying to do it my way anyway. I don't know exactly what lesson I was objecting to and mayb...

John · John

Good Morning Family and Friends! Today I am going to do Extreme Facial Exercise. All it requires is that I walk around all day with a big smile on my face.

clep · clep

I run a day home where I care for multiple children. Yesterday I was sick but worked anyways so parents would not have to find alternate care in the morning. I did let them know I would not be working today. I am still sick and cannot care for multiple children without strain on me physically. I sent an...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Good evening folks, Yes it's me again, just checking in. I have been in plaster yet again and found myself very limited in what I could do. I have also battled with cabin-fever again but at last I am out of plaster and able to get around a bit better albeit still on crutches. I am not out of the woods yet. ...

John · John

I was asked to help a woman find and buy a car, so I went on craigslist, and knowing she didn't have much money, and I'd probably have to help out with some money, I put in a low maximum price. Several came up, but they all needed alot of work. I kept going through the sale ads, and suddenly one ad stuck out....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Letting go (Preview) I've been thinking a lot about my biggest fear when I got here - which was letting go. I thought that letting go was a sign of defeat, and I was so scared of what would happen if I did it. I was mostly afraid that if I let go, I'd lose my AH. As bad as his drinking was, I thought it would be worse without my help...	White Rabbit	6	455	Jun 7, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I said something terribly mean... :( (Preview) I am here to be honest right? Well last night, my bf had to go to a DUI thing. In this state, they have people take these once a week classes inorder to get their license back. Anyway, he drank 4 nips of vodka before the class, over a period of a few hours. I tried super hard to stay on my own side of the stree...	youfoundme	10	2634	Jun 7, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Miss independent here finally asking for help :) (Preview) Yep, tyipical first born, type A, perfectionist who tried to handle it on my own for so long. I just became angry and bitter at all the betrayal, hurt and pain my husband was causing me because of his drinking. We have been together for 17 years..married for almost 12 of those years. College sweethea...	danyell	9	510	Jun 7, 2011 by danyell
	VENT: His grand master plan is....do nothing!! (Preview) So my husband is getting ready to go on diversion for his recent DUI. He will not be able to drink for 1 year and will have to submit to pee tests. THAT'S how he plans to deal with his alcohol issues. As for his depression, anxiety, anger, stress problems, he's decided to go off his Effexor (depression me...	nadjjaa	3	314	Jun 7, 2011 by xeno59
	I miss my recovering A. (Preview) Today in church I just broke down and cried. My A burned his AA book a while ago and then went back to the program. The recovery didn't last long and I noticed on Friday tha he hasn't gone to meetings in over a month I think. I don't really remember. I notice him obsessing over our pets, over becoming a b...	clep	3	451	Jun 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	Al-Anon life changing experience (Preview) I had coffee with a friend of mine this morning and we were catching up on news. I told her i had been attending al-anon meetings since October and how much progress I have made already. She told me one of her best friend said al-anon is a life changing experience. I let that statement sync in but I have to a...	Crazy Frog	3	596	Jun 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	I want to share a feel good moment (Preview) I just talked to my friend. I gave her to low down on ABF and what all happened when I told him he couldn't live here and so on. This one of the same friends that told me if I stayed with ABF she wouldn't have anything to do with me anymore. I've shared with her many things that have learned in my recover and...	devlynn	2	361	Jun 7, 2011 by GailMichelle
	I am responsible (Preview) "I came to Al-Anon confused about what was and was not my responsibility. Today, after lots of Step work, I believe I am responsible for the following: to be loyal to my values to please myself first to rid myself of anger and resentment to express my ideas and feelings instead of stuffing them to a...	youfoundme	6	1304	Jun 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	Numb, confused and at a loss right now (Preview) Wow...I feel "blank" right now. I can feel so many emotions getting ready to surface but they are fighting over which one is going to surface first. I just talked to my ABF who is in jail. His emotions have been flop flopping all over the place when I talk to him. Part of being I guess, can't co...	devlynn	7	357	Jun 7, 2011 by devlynn
	It was just a stupid phonecall... (Preview) I had a nightmare, which left me feeling pretty shaken. I wanted to hear a voice on the other end of the phone, and my sister usually gets up at 5 AM (it was 7 AM), so I thought it was OK to call her. But it turns out she'd gone to bed late, so I woke her up early. Only getting two hours of sleep is really not a good th...	atheos	5	468	Jun 7, 2011 by hotrod
	Just curious/confused (Preview) Another post here really got me thinking. For those of you that have attended alanon for a long time and have seen people move through the program, I am wondering if people usually stay with their partners who are active alcoholics or wind up leaving? I can't help but think the inevitable result of fo...	pinkchip	19	583	Jun 7, 2011 by pinkchip
	I don't know why it took me so long... (Preview) I don't know why it took me so long to realize that the tolerance that I offered my exaH over the years, (the OVER tolerance), was all about ME, not HIM. At one time I thought I was loving him, offering him the support and understanding he needed and deserved. I thought I was not turning my back on him. I w...	Rora	6	370	Jun 7, 2011 by Karilynn
	Delusions from Withdrawals (Preview) I was wondering if anyone has had experiences with an alcoholic that had delusions. I have been searching on the Internet for information regarding delusions. Like everything else, I suspect the delusions can become more frequent and their nature more bizarre with time. I'm very concerned about...	GailMichelle	15	749	Jun 7, 2011 by Karilynn
	The cause of drinking (Preview) Any alcoholics here can tell me why they started drinking in the first place? Or can any families of the alcoholic tell me why the A in their life started drinking? I joined here yesterday but if you didn't catch any of my few posts, my fiance of 5 years died a little over a month ago from this terrible, evil...	Della	11	511	Jun 7, 2011 by Karilynn
	And so it progresses....... (Preview) Phone rang Sat night.....recognised the code as the town my son is in, but didnt recognise the number......let the answering service take it. Message from the police, (Ason) is in custody, court today (Monday). So........a: I know hes alive & b: he was safe in a police cell all weekend. Dont know...	Ness	8	440	Jun 7, 2011 by hotrod
	We've just scraped through, and now start the sobriety journey with Antabuse... (Preview) Hi, I am new to Al-Anon. Just learning and relieved for the help available. Im 40yrs of age, and we just had our 20yr wedding anniversary. We've two sons, 11 and 3yrs. The last 9months have been a nightmare. My husband started drinking to avoid his unbearable feelings, and apparently my anger toward hi...	Brooke	6	347	Jun 7, 2011 by Brooke
	question (Preview) Hi everyone:) My husband has been sober almost 4 months, went the detox then rehab, then back to detox and rehab, and now he lives in a sober living home, got a job, supports himself and does all he can to help me out (coming over here and cutting the grass, giving me money every payday, just helping out)....	danielle0516	6	482	Jun 7, 2011 by Debilyn
	Thanks for the support and understanding (Preview) I just wanted to thank all of you who shared your experience and kind words with me. It's been 24 hours since I've heard from him =*( I've tried to call and text him, but he is blatantly ignoring me. At a meeting last night, someone told me that he is avoiding me because I am his reality. When he's out having a...	Corgi2	7	303	Jun 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	It's sad and out of my hands (Preview) My ABF and I have been going through this struggle of being back and fourth with each other since the holidays. He is over three years sober from alcohol right now. However he is still smoking pot heavily and over the holidays his addiction to poker took over in the drivers seat. I started going to ala...	parfait624	4	518	Jun 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	very nervous, not sure how all of this works (Preview) This is all new to me. My husband just checked into rehab 5 days ago. We have been married for 11 yrs., 12 yrs. this August. He has always been a drinker & so have I but I seemed to grow out of it over the yrs. His mother passed away 4 yrs ago & the drinking really seemed to get bad. I didn't understand at...	nsnyder304	6	437	Jun 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	What is ESH? (Preview) I seem to see that one a lot around here... what does it mean?	atheos	3	298	Jun 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Now what!?!?!???? (Preview) I have been around alcoholics (recovering for the most part) for all of my life. I participated in Alateen when I was younger and seemed to push away from it- so hard- as I got older. Looking back at it, I believe my intention was to break the cycle without having to be "one of those friends of Bill o...	WAJess	2	331	Jun 6, 2011 by WAJess
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MTG (Preview) I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Monday a.m. Al-anon meeting as have medical tests at the hospital and will be unable to return home in time. Hoping someone will be able to step up for me. Thanks.	shimo	1	266	Jun 6, 2011 by Overcome
	breaking it off completely from a (Preview) im trying it agin this being attemp 4 i hope and pray ill not pick up that phone and calll him this time,its hard really hard but its even harder knowing he is not in any recovery and he is a full blown a/addict,and only and only will he say rarely that he is in need of detoxing ,so then his body is clean and the...	chinup	9	538	Jun 6, 2011 by chinup
	Jealousy a Common Feeling? (Preview) So your the wife and your A finally starts going to AA, and you are going to Alanon. Your husband is doing good in recovery, and has now made new friends in AA and is cultivating those new relationships. Great, but you don't want to put a damper on those new friends from fear of him stopping recovery. But no...	oldergal	8	1856	Jun 6, 2011 by canadianguy
	Is there a difference (Preview) My question is this: is there a difference Between someone who drinks a lot and an alcoholic? I have a friend who says she was an alcoholic about 15 years ago. I was surprised because I've never really seen her drink. Even at parties where it was plentiful. I've seen have a glass of wine with dinner kind...	devlynn	7	487	Jun 6, 2011 by kitty
	When do alcoholics look for help? (Preview) I am curious to know what triggers an alcoholic to look for help meaning e Going to AA for example. I am not judging when I say the following: a relative went into DT (delirium tremens) and had a DUI and denies she has a problem, a friend of mines dad is dying of liver failure due to alcohol and still denies. S...	Crazy Frog	10	775	Jun 6, 2011 by canadianguy
	Home Group ?? (Preview) Hi! I have a sponsor, I've worked the 12 steps (and continue to work it every day!!), and I live the solution in my life everyday. It's amazing how there is never a shortage of opportunities to use my nifty new al-anon tools. Life is funny that way, isn't it? Anyway, I have been to a few al-anon meetings (me...	Aimee	3	493	Jun 6, 2011 by youfoundme
	Update (Preview) Hi - sorry, I haven't been here for a little while. Things have been very difficult. AH, having been told after his last hospital admission that he must give up drinking, eat normally and take his prescribed medication, has done none of these things. His physical condition has been deteriorating bef...	Tattyhead	8	475	Jun 5, 2011 by danielle0516
	Nearly impossible to concentrate on me right now! (Preview) I really don't like to throw all my personal stuff out there....but I really need to vent, I'm just beside myself, it's one thing after another and I never have the chance to work on my healing because I have so much on my plate!! In a nut shell, I'm trying to do everything I can to move forward emotionally...	sdisnie	7	463	Jun 5, 2011 by sdisnie
	How do you NOT control when you have a legal obligation to control (Preview) Confusing subject line huh? LOL Here is my situation, (Im just going to put it out there like it so my brain wont hurt so much while i type this lol.) My ABF is disabled and receives SSDI. His doctors, the State and who ever else know he is an A, recovering addict and has been homeless on more then one occasi...	devlynn	7	501	Jun 5, 2011 by nezyb
	Oties Answers: Part Two: Step One and Boundaries (Preview) Boundaries to me are what the entire Program hinge on, learning where I end and another person begins, I spent nearly my entire life wondering why my "boundaries" worked with some people but not others, because I thought enforcing a boundary meant informing another person how they had ha...	linbaba	6	521	Jun 5, 2011 by devlynn
	Death by alcoholism (Preview) Hi, I'm new here and this site was the first thing that came up when I typed in Al anon message board into google. My partner died recently from alcoholism. To be honest, since his death. I feel a bit at peace as before I was always worried each day whether he's be alive or not, what danger he'd put himself th...	Della	6	4101	Jun 5, 2011 by hotrod
	Oties Answer: 12 Stepping (Preview) Otie asked me to post on a few subjects, both in a thread, and in a PM, and they are so diverse I'd thought I'd split them up 12 stepping alcoholics/ ruining their drinking/ parents with alcoholic children First of all, I am a firm believer in a few things: The Three "C's" I can't control them I c...	linbaba	2	457	Jun 5, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	Nothing personal to the nice horse but let me off (Preview) I am so frustrated today. I have lost and chosen to lose many friends and my exAH to addiction behavior I am unable to live with. I live simply and pretty isolated except for a couple of handfuls of people who know alot of my daily life. Of those people roughly 5 know about the nonnarcotic medications I ha...	Jennifer	3	366	Jun 5, 2011 by Otie
	to sdisne or anyone (Preview) I read a reply to one of your posts. "The Alcoholic lies, cheats, manipulates, rationalizes his or her drink behaviors, argues, is selfish, is self-centered, is not trustworthy, guilty and the list can go on and on. The alcoholic is a mess spiritually, mentally and physically. The alcoholic i...	jamfu	7	523	Jun 4, 2011 by sdisnie
	thank you (Preview) Thank you all for your posts. About the third time she relapsed I started going to meetings at a local church. But I was not ready then, and it was somewhat a bargain with her. You go to AA, and I'll go to al-anon. It will go away, and I'll never forget the lesson. I found you guys for a reason i suppose. I am re...	jamfu	2	321	Jun 4, 2011 by pineapple
	list of "boundaries" or "expectations" (Preview) This is my first time posting. My husband will be getting out of jail (again) soon because of charges related to his drug addiction. This last time he has been in for approximately 10 months. He moved out almost 4 years ago and we have been legally separated (not divorced) for 3 years. We have 2 chil...	dotmeg	10	5369	Jun 4, 2011 by abbyal
	Step Question (Preview) Howdy! Ok step one : We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. Pretty straight forward i guess... Well not so much...(I am the analogy queen just so you know this now lol) If i want to make brownies i turn the box around and read the directions. I follow them and i g...	devlynn	5	477	Jun 4, 2011 by abbyal
	Narcissistic anyone? (Preview) I had court yesterday and I figured I could use a counseling session afterwards. So as I was talking about the day with exAH and how he has hardly worked due to his drinking and needing to sleep it off until noon that resulted in him not having to pay child support. Which i didn't even go after him for child s...	flopadopilus	6	2032	Jun 4, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Black Out (Preview) Could someone please explain what actually happens when a person who has been drinking alcohol has a blackout. Can someone who just starting drinking have a blackout?Does it only happen to someone who is progressed in alcoholism? Is it the amount of booze they drink? All responses are appreciated....	oldergal	7	529	Jun 4, 2011 by jamfu
	pinkchip ty for yur post (Preview) just what i needed to hear if u read my posts ive left on here youll understand why,and if u have time do plz read my post.its not easy for me at all but ive got to really get to working harder on my recovery before im doomed,ty agin for yur post and do keep coming back,ill be looking for yur posts......chinup...	chinup	0	232	Jun 4, 2011 by chinup
	Twists and Turns - Making me feel like i can't go on. (Preview) Honestly - this is just a vent. I have to do it as I am losing it this very minute. Peak hour/dinner time/bed time in the family home. He had drunk one bottle of wine onto the next. He thinks he's funny and I don't know what - I just find it unsettling, loud, boistourous (sp?) and just generally not conducive...	Hayes	12	383	Jun 4, 2011 by Hayes
	I need to talk to someone (Preview) Over the last several years my girlfriend has put herself in harms way everytime she had a drink. From falling flat one her face to driving blacked out. It is kind of a long story, but i am sure everyone's is. It went on too long with her doing something really stupid like hitting me, to where i shut down emo...	jamfu	5	1005	Jun 4, 2011 by jamfu
	Life after Rehab (newbie) (Preview) Greetings everyone... I am new to the boards, new to al-anon, and fairly new to relating to an alcoholic. My fiancee and I met in HS, and after 20 some years re-met. Fell fast in love, and after six months, moved in with one another. I knew he drank some, but not as much as I later discovered. After a serie...	biglee	8	542	Jun 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	Is it really a sign? (Preview) I used to be good at ignoring signs, unless of course they smacked right in the head. Well I have been asking my HP to please give me signs and help me on what I should do about my ABF. (I posted my story about him and I and he is currently in jail) I have been talking to my sister and sharing all the details o...	devlynn	8	477	Jun 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	confused (Preview) my a,b/f dont live here i wont let him 1st of all,he says he loves me so so so much,he sounds so sicere like its coming from down deep in his heart,but in the beginning 3 yrs ago he used people for all they was worth he sucked the life out of me almost ,untill i put a stop to it now he lives with his boss and his fami...	chinup	5	531	Jun 3, 2011 by sdisnie
	Something that is bothering me... (Preview) Maybe you guys can help me see this in a different way? After the meeting ended the other night, we were all chatting a bit. An older man came up to me and said "Why don't you leave that bad guy of yours and find a nice guy, theres plenty out there?" I responded meekly, because I didn't know wha...	youfoundme	11	489	Jun 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	I just realized (Preview) I changed from my grandsons pic as my avatar to a slug! hahahaha deb	Debilyn	7	351	Jun 3, 2011 by GailMichelle
	"Mourning" (and my introduction) (Preview) Hi, Im PoF and Im a newbie.I wont go into the details of how I ended up here, only that once upon a time I had the perfect husband, perfect kids, perfect home, perfect lifeand alcoholism took most of that away from me.After (too many) years of attempting to help/support/cure/coerce my ex-husband into r...	Party of Five	6	376	Jun 3, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Calling on linbaba/ "The Devil in a Sunday Dress" (Preview) Dear linbaba, I just read the post you made to Katy ("learning to love the person"). I feel that there are some message in there that are so well explained and would be of great help to a fledgling like myself. Would it be possible for you to make it a whole thread within itself (by special requ...	Otie	3	836	Jun 3, 2011 by linbaba
	For those of us who are fixers (Preview) http://www.livestrong.com/article/14696-overcoming-the-need-to-fix/	sdisnie	3	394	Jun 3, 2011 by youfoundme
	What should I tell my child? (Preview) Over the past few years my husband's alcoholism has gotten much worse. My daughter is nearly 7 and by now I know she realizes that sometimes daddy's drinking makes me very unhappy, and I think she's just beginning to realize that when he behaves obnoxiously it has something to do with his drinking bee...	jenel25	9	4599	Jun 3, 2011 by canadianguy
	Wowzers! (Preview) So, had court today. When AH found out that he was not going to be allowed to come back home, he freaked. Started getting irate with me, and telling me that I didn't support him at all in this whole thing. According to him, my lawyer, my counsellor and the CAS are all wrong, and I am scared of all of them, and w...	Evian	5	499	Jun 3, 2011 by canadianguy
	HUMOR Making A Point.......Let Go And Let God (Preview) A man was walking along a rocky path overlooking a canyon hundreds of feet below when he slipped on the loose rock and fell straight down. He was lucky to grab hold of one small vine as he was falling and held on for dear life. He realized the small vine would not support him for long so he yelled at th...	RLC	7	729	Jun 3, 2011 by Debilyn
	"Humility... (Preview) is being teachable Jerry F", my elder sponsor taught me while I was working thru powerlessness and using rationalizations to decide what I work on and what I don't work on in recovery. I had a sponsor and was trying to do it my way anyway. I don't know exactly what lesson I was objecting to and mayb...	Jerry F	5	953	Jun 3, 2011 by Debilyn
	Today's Exercise (Preview) Good Morning Family and Friends! Today I am going to do *Extreme Facial Exercise.* All it requires is that I walk around all day with a big smile on my face.	John	4	432	Jun 2, 2011 by Jerry F
	I am so stressed. (Preview) I run a day home where I care for multiple children. Yesterday I was sick but worked anyways so parents would not have to find alternate care in the morning. I did let them know I would not be working today. I am still sick and cannot care for multiple children without strain on me physically. I sent an...	clep	11	507	Jun 2, 2011 by glad lee
	Sometimes YOU know best and if so, keep on badgering the powers that be until they listen to YOU. (Preview) Good evening folks, Yes it's me again, just checking in. I have been in plaster yet again and found myself very limited in what I could do. I have also battled with cabin-fever again but at last I am out of plaster and able to get around a bit better albeit still on crutches. I am not out of the woods yet. ...	Suzannah	1	386	Jun 2, 2011 by Jozie
	A God Story (Preview) I was asked to help a woman find and buy a car, so I went on craigslist, and knowing she didn't have much money, and I'd probably have to help out with some money, I put in a low maximum price. Several came up, but they all needed alot of work. I kept going through the sale ads, and suddenly one ad stuck out....	John	8	417	Jun 2, 2011 by GailMichelle
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.