Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Norma · Norma

I am suffering alot of anxiety today because I am realizing that I have been involved with the cycle of abuse with my Huband, the healther I get the more I see the cycle and it is scary because my tolerance for abuse is before I started alanon I did not see the cycle so clearly, so I am wondering if me wanting...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

The 4th of July has always been a family day for us. It's one of only two days that my AH closes the bar/restaurant he owns for the day. Since we're now seperated and the kids are all grown and out of the house, he and I had no plans for the day. I called him earlier this week and suggested that we take a ride in th...

oldergal · oldergal

I have figured out because there has never been a healthy relationship between my Ason and me his mother it has really been an obsessive type of relationship, me obsessing about his drinking and livelihood. Now after 13 years I am doing the Alanon program and have detached from him mentally and geogr...

MixedFeelings · MixedFeelings

I'm new to this so bare with me. I just really needed a place to vent. My husband admitted himself into a 10 month rehab program last thursday. He's been a drug addict for about 19 years. It started with heroin in his teens and is now opiates and all kinds of pain killers. I left him 2 years ago, got a divorce,...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all.... just got back from an awesome week of suntanning and being a tourist in Oahu, with my Mom and my two awesome kids.... It was a wonderful holiday, and I loved the beauty, the heat, and the people.... To all of our residents of Hawaii on MIP, I am officially jealous of your place of residence!! To...

HopeAlive · HopeAlive

Hello My stepson's fiance is a wonderful young lady & I think very highly of her. Yesterday for the 7/4 holiday, they came over for a visit. Around 3p she opened the bottle of wine she brought saying she couldn't wait for dinner. By 8pm she had drank the entire bottle of wine. The more she drank, the l...

lissa · lissa

hi, im new to this sight, my husband is a alcoholic, ive been going to go to a al-anon meeting but i live in a small town, and am afriad od who i will run into, i hope this sight will help me, i need friends that know how i feel. any way well see if im doing this right

ythannah · ythannah

Still struggling with the Higher Power concept here. It occurs to me that maybe I don't know what I'm supposed to be listening to or looking for. I know I can't trust my "inner voice" because that is the one that plays all the old negative tapes from my childhood and tells me I'm stupid, worthl...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I don`t know if any of you remember how I spoke to an officer at one point in time after I heard about my daughter slamming my gd into the wall because she didn`t like her having feelings. I told him how dcf has never been there for this child neither has the school. My daughter seems to have manipulated many...

New Member · oldgraduate

Hello to all. I am oldgraduate and have just joined. I have a long history with a drinker, my husband. He will say he's not an alcoholic, but uses alcohol in a nonconstructive way. I grew up believing all drinking was wrong, he grew up seeing his family drink every day. We have had issues in our marriage of...

Debilyn · Debilyn

And this is the Stinker you wanted me to kiss for you???? Are you a nutcase??? hugs honey. debilyn

jqueen · jqueen

Hi I am new to this. I am a daughter of an alcholic/drug abuser. I have a teen daughter who's father (estranged for 12 years) died of a heroin overdose last year and recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year after figuring out he is most likely an alchoholic. My daughter is doing very well and we have gr...

ifa · ifa

Hi, I have been doing the 12 steps for a long time, maybe 20 years, although I have not been to meetings in the past 10. A lot of the meetings around here closed. Also I got very busy. But the 12 steps and slogans of alanon have been the philosophy I try to live by, and they got me through all kinds of sorrows. I...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Sorry but I feel like I`am just spewing same ole crap over and over. I feel lost and alone. My daughter has been hitting my gd at least once a week lately. Tonite the phone rings late and I didnt get it on time. I called their house back. (btw she has been with me for the past 4-5 days and this is her first nite ba...

cdane · cdane

Hi i'm Christine and i'm writing for some advice I hope someone can help me with I really don't know who to speak to about this. I really admire your organisation and think you do a great thing for all those that don't really have other people to discuss about their loved one's drinking problem. The situ...

jamfu · jamfu

I wrote this to her the other day. Thought I might share it "I was talking with adam yesterday about my life , and his. We spoke for several hours. We both have had a great talk to clear each others' hearts and minds. I can say he is my best true friend. At the end of the day I realized you abused me. Im not...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

I've had a VERY rough weekend. I thought it was going to be wonderful because my husband was in town and we were having some extra money. It started on Friday. I took my cat to the vet because he had been pretty sick and not eating. Come to find out my cat was in liver failure and dying. So I had to put him to slee...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

wife has been sober for four months, kids are starting to trust her and they have been so happy having her. She drank at the neighborhood 4th of July party, she was visibly intoxicated. I had to send her home. I haven't and am not going to tell the kids, but they might figure it out. Program is so much ea...

Lacey · Lacey

For several years now my mum has drank heavily however since her divorce with my dad and my sister left for university she seems to just be getting worse. She says she doesnt have a problem and that she just enjoys a drink. i know i am only a child but i know what i see isnt normal behaviour and many family mem...

MDK · MDK

This is what happened last night my husband's old friends came around the house last night.................I am sure most of you know what this means. He got so messed up on uppers and downers it was like seeing him drunk all over again. I guess I need to get what I am feeling off of my chest because I was a l...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Last nights meeting was on Motives. We read from Courage to change on motives and shared about our motives and what we are doing about them. There were some really great shares. It seems that fear, anxiety, past experiences, control, and manipulation were the biggest motives. Mine are so foggy s...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

This weekend of having no plans is getting me down. No one has called, invited me to do anything or even checked in to ask how my weekend is going. I don't really blame them - I haven't called anyone to see what they're doin either. My husband has been drinking so I can't speak to him or hang out with him. When...

Loupiness · Loupiness

This recovery process is such an inte resting journey. I have a really hard time actively working the program while emeshed in my life, but at the same time I know it is working. Regardless, of me doing it less than well sometimes, it works. Miracles are everywhere, and when I slow down enough to lo...

Pushka · Pushka

We have a little stray that is not really a stray .. lol .. she is a little barn cat. As sweet as you wanna see though. We keep dry food and water out for her and she kills the mice I'm all over that .. lol. She was pregnant, a little young thing, we knew she recently had babies and as crazy as the weather has b...

tommyecat · tommyecat

~ Hum to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies ~This is a little story about a gal named Deb Who took the best pics and kept evrbody fedThen one day with her MIP family, she came with pics of her canine family. Cute that is, precious souls, priceless family Hey Debilyn, thanks for sharing the smiles. I j...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Just a few reasons I stay sane, or they make me crazy!! daughter, gson, gson in hat, son animals, first AH and me who I lost in '81 Present ex AH lost in 02 my undaughter and unson who moved here from Ca. and I am sooo blessed by them! -- Edited by Debilyn on Saturday 2nd of July 2011 05:57:16 PM

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

So.. I dont know what's going on. I have made an appointment with my doctor next week. I have been feeling numb but anxious and just really strange. I felt like I was okay since we separated... sad, but ok. However, these past few days have been really strange. I just feel so BLAH. IDK how else to explain it...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

Soo.. after 3 weeks of silence (except from his mother) my AH called me today. I didn't answer because well I just didn't really want to talk to him. Now this is amazing for me because any attention I get from him after a few weeks of nothing would have had me picking up my phone before the first ring ended....

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Briefly: the ugliest dog this year is kinda a member of my family! She is my step-sister's dog & she has been all over showing her off! Her name is YODA! I just thought I would let everyone know cause it is exciting to me! Kathleen

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Hello to all: Hope you all are enjoying the holiday. Just wanted to share about this wonderful experience at the yearly Round Up ConventionI attended this weekend. They had wonderful speakers (AA/Alanon).The opening ceremony was just amazing. The speaker was a 22 yr. alcoholic survivor. His stor...

Pushka · Pushka

Has anyone ever experienced total hostility from good friends (I'd consider them family) about going to alanon? I'm a little taken a back from a response I got from someone I care about and value dearly. In all fairness they are aware of what I have been through, know from their own experience of deal...

jamfu · jamfu

Ok my ex AGF called me today at work today. Told me she was going to quit her job move to california with her sister, and be her sister's child's nanny unitl she starts school again next year. I cant believe they would trust her with that child , and from earlier posts, some of you probably know the objectio...

atheos · atheos

I am an atheist. I have been an atheist for most of my adult life, and I have no interest in "finding religion" even if I were able (and I definitely went through a phase of trying, but I could never really believe when deep down in my gut I knew it wasn't real). Long before I discovered Al-Anon, I...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Heard this week in a meeting...."Recovery is a journey between two stations. One station represents total chaos, and the other represents total serenity. What is important is not where you are, but what direction you are facing."Isn't that the truth!

jerald · jerald

I am new here, so please bear with my long post. First let me say that I am a recovering alcoholic of 25 years and have been sober now for 6. My Catholic faith is the key to my continued sobriety and it is only by the grace of God that keeps me sober, no matter how tempted I get to take a drink. I attend no AA meetin...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

I've been away from here too long and it's wonderful to read all of your posts. Still struggling, trying to constantly remind myself to butt out of my AH's recovery (or lack thereof, as the case may be). Still feeling lonely and isolated, tried reaching out to friends but everyone is busy. I am still lac...

Whisperine · Whisperine

Here's my current and most pressing life dilemma--my dad. He's a "dry drunk," I believe is the term. He's been "in recovery" for more than a year. He goes to countless meetings. But he has a mindset that this is all mean to hasten his recovery and make him better faster. I have only...

dotmeg · dotmeg

My husband and I are legally separated (have been for 3 years). This week his mother found out that she has cancer. He is in jail and will be until about the end of July or beginning of August. There is a possibility she could die before he gets out of jail. He asked his sister to call his lawyer and s...

mcbgrad · mcbgrad

How do you deal with the constant self serving attitude of the Alcoholic? She's now in AA but I think it's worse than ever. It's all about her needs first, totally ignoreing me. I don't know what to do anymore. She's been in AA for 3 months, drinking stopped, GREAT! but selfhishness has not and perha...

Katy · Katy

I thought my perception of what I thought of people and what they thought of me was correct, I hadn't learnt that feelings arn't facts, and that when I could learn to percieve things in an healthy way, I could see things with new eyes. As I am working with this new boundary with our son, my perception of wh...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm struggling with this particular issue at the moment. I have been working very hard at my control issues, need to be right, having the last word and so on. Classic co-dependent issues in a relationship with an addict. How is control different than a boundary? I hear a lot about boundaries being...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I've been in the process of trying to buy a house for the last month and a half or so. It has not been fun. Although I had fun finding the house I wanted to buy, and the offer and acceptance part went fine, we have had a lot of trouble getting final approval for our loan. It's brought up many issues for me, an...

Lyne · Lyne

So I did have a wonderful time with my family last night until it was time to drive home. My spouse not only didn't feel well, had a headache, and her eyes hurt, but she drank some amount of alcohol and perhaps had a xanax earlier in the day. I did stay calm but decided she was NOT driving us home, about a 40 m...

Lyne · Lyne

I am amazed that I can cope well for long periods of time with my A, and then all my skills and strengths just fall away. I'm in the unable to cope mode for the last two weeks. It was two weekends ago where she lied to me again, and last weekend she drank again. I'm the one who is supposed to change because...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

Two angels are walking all day and most of the night in beggar's clothes. They come upon a magnificent house. The house was in a very rich area. They saw the couple of the house just sitting down to a huge 3 course meal. They go up and knock on the door and are greeted by a servant. The servant brings them in t...

Regi76 · Regi76

I am the wife to a functioning alcoholic, the sister to a drug and alcoholic brother and the daughter of an alcoholic cop. When I met my husband he didn't drink much, well not in front if me maybe a glass or two of wine but unfortunately for me I didn't realize someone Who drank wine could also be an alcoholi...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I can't get to a meeting until tomorrow night. Haven't been due to other things going on for a week and a half...I feel so sick in the head right now though and I need some support. I have that therpay appointment coming up, but really I can't afford to go. Its a $30 co-pay that I don't have. My bf has been...

sameoldstuff · sameoldstuff

hello everyone! thanks for all your comments on my last post. i would like to share a little something about "why do i keep getting sucked backed in and listen to my ah, like hes making good sense while hes taking pills and drinking. we had our 1st court date since i have filed for divorce and our nex...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

My recovering AH and I seem to be having more and more problems. He's been sober for a year and we have been through ALOT during that year. We have many financial stressors and we are currently living in an extended stay hotel (it is VERY nice and in a safe neighborhood). He is on the road a lot (truck driver...

Jadie · Jadie

This is what my A said to me todaySO I too have choicesIt's been a tough few weeks, the binge has been horrific....hospital, psych ward, policeI relinquished control a while ago but every so often, you know, my fingers itch to pick it all up again, I can take it all back, I can cope, blah blah blah goes my i...

Regi76 · Regi76

Hello friends, I need some advice. I just spoke to my AH on the phone and after telling him I was upset and will be spending the weekend 45 mins away at my parents with our 3 yr. old daughter because I needed time away from his drinking he says he wants to change. he said he knows he drinks too much and doenst...

Pushka · Pushka

This is not from al-anon approved material however I love it. The sayings are al-anonish take what you like I have enjoyed this list.Unless we change how we are, we will always have what we've got.We can have more than we've got because we can become more than we are.Good people are found not changed.A...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, Last night I had a house fire. It was caused by the incompetence of a job performed by one of ex- A's friends. We are lucky to be alive. Ex-A took off during all the drama but unfortunately is back today. I can honestly say I am sick to death of him. His level of BS is life threatening at the moment. I c...

Jadie · Jadie

Hi everyone, I'm Jadie from the UKI've been in Al-Anon a couple of years but have moved to a rural area where there are no meetings.I try to work the programme in my life, to the best of my ability, day at a time.My A is advanced in their disease, does not live with me (a boundary I need for my serenity).I don'...

Rora · Rora

My exaH had a very big surgery yesterday, one that has very big risks attached to it, for circulation. As some background he's in a very dark, angry, sad, hurting, tormented, fearful place and that is coming out in almost every decision he is making, in his words, thoughts and actions. He is livid wit...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife's family knows about her disease and her depression and the struggles that have come as a result. My side of the family does not. We're going to be spending a lot of time with them this weekend--in fact, today my wife was with her sister in-law for much of the day. I'm struggling with the idea of the...

mslouise · mslouise

So for the last couple of days I have been practicing my Let Go and Let God. It seems to be going ok. I have severed all ties with my exA, even had my boss change my work number so he could no longer call there (he would leave nasty messages at work) It's been almost a year I believe that I have heard anything f...

MDK · MDK

I was the program chairman at my f2f meeting this past Tuesday night. I volunteered! I had it on Taking care of ourselves first!!!! It was such an awesome program so many positive vibes coming at every direction. I was really proud of the feedback I was able to give when someone shared!!!!! These past fe...

Whisperine · Whisperine

I'll make this brief--Hi, my name (here) is Whisperine. I'm a college grad who's moved out of her family home, but not out of her family dysfunction. My parents split unexpectedly after 27 years of marriage last year. At first it was a "trial seperation," then it became permanent, and now I...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

http://www.neillneill.com/married-to-a-functioning-alcoholic-help/comment-page-1#comment-121678

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	cycle of abuse, or dry drunk (Preview) I am suffering alot of anxiety today because I am realizing that I have been involved with the cycle of abuse with my Huband, the healther I get the more I see the cycle and it is scary because my tolerance for abuse is before I started alanon I did not see the cycle so clearly, so I am wondering if me wanting...	Norma	5	957	Jul 7, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Working My Program- One Day at a Time (Preview) The 4th of July has always been a family day for us. It's one of only two days that my AH closes the bar/restaurant he owns for the day. Since we're now seperated and the kids are all grown and out of the house, he and I had no plans for the day. I called him earlier this week and suggested that we take a ride in th...	Green Eyes	7	640	Jul 6, 2011 by Green Eyes
	FEELING BLAU, NO ENERGY, NO PASSION (Preview) I have figured out because there has never been a healthy relationship between my Ason and me his mother it has really been an obsessive type of relationship, me obsessing about his drinking and livelihood. Now after 13 years I am doing the Alanon program and have detached from him mentally and geogr...	oldergal	8	538	Jul 6, 2011 by Ness
	New here - needed to vent (Preview) I'm new to this so bare with me. I just really needed a place to vent. My husband admitted himself into a 10 month rehab program last thursday. He's been a drug addict for about 19 years. It started with heroin in his teens and is now opiates and all kinds of pain killers. I left him 2 years ago, got a divorce,...	MixedFeelings	11	678	Jul 6, 2011 by stephaniej
	aloha (Preview) Hi all.... just got back from an awesome week of suntanning and being a tourist in Oahu, with my Mom and my two awesome kids.... It was a wonderful holiday, and I loved the beauty, the heat, and the people.... To all of our residents of Hawaii on MIP, I am officially jealous of your place of residence!! To...	canadianguy	9	919	Jul 6, 2011 by stephaniej
	Should I be concerned about her drinking? (Preview) Hello My stepson's fiance is a wonderful young lady & I think very highly of her. Yesterday for the 7/4 holiday, they came over for a visit. Around 3p she opened the bottle of wine she brought saying she couldn't wait for dinner. By 8pm she had drank the entire bottle of wine. The more she drank, the l...	HopeAlive	5	516	Jul 6, 2011 by HopeAlive
	hello (Preview) hi, im new to this sight, my husband is a alcoholic, ive been going to go to a al-anon meeting but i live in a small town, and am afriad od who i will run into, i hope this sight will help me, i need friends that know how i feel. any way well see if im doing this right	lissa	5	479	Jul 6, 2011 by xeno59
	How does HP answer/guide you? (Preview) Still struggling with the Higher Power concept here. It occurs to me that maybe I don't know what I'm supposed to be listening to or looking for. I know I can't trust my "inner voice" because that is the one that plays all the old negative tapes from my childhood and tells me I'm stupid, worthl...	ythannah	14	583	Jul 6, 2011 by Jennifer
	Follow up to my previous post about daughter & grandaughter (Preview) I don`t know if any of you remember how I spoke to an officer at one point in time after I heard about my daughter slamming my gd into the wall because she didn`t like her having feelings. I told him how dcf has never been there for this child neither has the school. My daughter seems to have manipulated many...	Samsgram	7	508	Jul 6, 2011 by youfoundme
	New Member (Preview) Hello to all. I am oldgraduate and have just joined. I have a long history with a drinker, my husband. He will say he's not an alcoholic, but uses alcohol in a nonconstructive way. I grew up believing all drinking was wrong, he grew up seeing his family drink every day. We have had issues in our marriage of...	oldgraduate	6	641	Jul 6, 2011 by Jadie
	For Otie (Preview) And this is the Stinker you wanted me to kiss for you???? Are you a nutcase??? hugs honey. debilyn	Debilyn	0	334	Jul 6, 2011 by Debilyn
	New to any kind of support (Preview) Hi I am new to this. I am a daughter of an alcholic/drug abuser. I have a teen daughter who's father (estranged for 12 years) died of a heroin overdose last year and recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year after figuring out he is most likely an alchoholic. My daughter is doing very well and we have gr...	jqueen	4	372	Jul 5, 2011 by jqueen
	Grief (Preview) Hi, I have been doing the 12 steps for a long time, maybe 20 years, although I have not been to meetings in the past 10. A lot of the meetings around here closed. Also I got very busy. But the 12 steps and slogans of alanon have been the philosophy I try to live by, and they got me through all kinds of sorrows. I...	ifa	11	707	Jul 5, 2011 by ifa
	Daughter hit my grandaughter again (Preview) Sorry but I feel like I`am just spewing same ole crap over and over. I feel lost and alone. My daughter has been hitting my gd at least once a week lately. Tonite the phone rings late and I didnt get it on time. I called their house back. (btw she has been with me for the past 4-5 days and this is her first nite ba...	Samsgram	8	615	Jul 5, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Really would appreciate some advice partner recovering but talking of drinking someday again (Preview) Hi i'm Christine and i'm writing for some advice I hope someone can help me with I really don't know who to speak to about this. I really admire your organisation and think you do a great thing for all those that don't really have other people to discuss about their loved one's drinking problem. The situ...	cdane	5	521	Jul 5, 2011 by Pushka
	I think i found step 1 (Preview) I wrote this to her the other day. Thought I might share it "I was talking with adam yesterday about my life , and his. We spoke for several hours. We both have had a great talk to clear each others' hearts and minds. I can say he is my best true friend. At the end of the day I realized you abused me. Im not...	jamfu	3	374	Jul 5, 2011 by jamfu
	step 2....being VERY tested (Preview) I've had a VERY rough weekend. I thought it was going to be wonderful because my husband was in town and we were having some extra money. It started on Friday. I took my cat to the vet because he had been pretty sick and not eating. Come to find out my cat was in liver failure and dying. So I had to put him to slee...	Kristi136188	5	480	Jul 5, 2011 by xeno59
	sad (Preview) wife has been sober for four months, kids are starting to trust her and they have been so happy having her. She drank at the neighborhood 4th of July party, she was visibly intoxicated. I had to send her home. I haven't and am not going to tell the kids, but they might figure it out. Program is so much ea...	DadtoCandE	5	567	Jul 5, 2011 by xeno59
	my mum is an alcoholic, i cant watch her do this anymore (Preview) For several years now my mum has drank heavily however since her divorce with my dad and my sister left for university she seems to just be getting worse. She says she doesnt have a problem and that she just enjoys a drink. i know i am only a child but i know what i see isnt normal behaviour and many family mem...	Lacey	19	2496	Jul 5, 2011 by Debilyn
	getting it off of my chest (Preview) This is what happened last night my husband's old friends came around the house last night.................I am sure most of you know what this means. He got so messed up on uppers and downers it was like seeing him drunk all over again. I guess I need to get what I am feeling off of my chest because I was a l...	MDK	6	411	Jul 5, 2011 by youfoundme
	Motives, what are yours and what are you doing about it? (Preview) Last nights meeting was on Motives. We read from Courage to change on motives and shared about our motives and what we are doing about them. There were some really great shares. It seems that fear, anxiety, past experiences, control, and manipulation were the biggest motives. Mine are so foggy s...	youfoundme	10	790	Jul 5, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Tired (Preview) This weekend of having no plans is getting me down. No one has called, invited me to do anything or even checked in to ask how my weekend is going. I don't really blame them - I haven't called anyone to see what they're doin either. My husband has been drinking so I can't speak to him or hang out with him. When...	Mlkiss75	13	630	Jul 4, 2011 by Pushka
	funny how that works... (Preview) This recovery process is such an inte resting journey. I have a really hard time actively working the program while emeshed in my life, but at the same time I know it is working. Regardless, of me doing it less than well sometimes, it works. Miracles are everywhere, and when I slow down enough to lo...	Loupiness	8	715	Jul 4, 2011 by Pushka
	Nice news .. (Preview) We have a little stray that is not really a stray .. lol .. she is a little barn cat. As sweet as you wanna see though. We keep dry food and water out for her and she kills the mice I'm all over that .. lol. She was pregnant, a little young thing, we knew she recently had babies and as crazy as the weather has b...	Pushka	6	469	Jul 4, 2011 by Pushka
	For Debilyn (Preview) ~ Hum to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies ~This is a little story about a gal named Deb Who took the best pics and kept evrbody fedThen one day with her MIP family, she came with pics of her canine family. Cute that is, precious souls, priceless family Hey Debilyn, thanks for sharing the smiles. I j...	tommyecat	2	1010	Jul 4, 2011 by peacewithin
	What keeps YOU sane??? (Preview) Just a few reasons I stay sane, or they make me crazy!! daughter, gson, gson in hat, son animals, first AH and me who I lost in '81 Present ex AH lost in 02 my undaughter and unson who moved here from Ca. and I am sooo blessed by them! -- Edited by Debilyn on Saturday 2nd of July 2011 05:57:16 PM	Debilyn	16	757	Jul 4, 2011 by All I can be
	Numb (Preview) So.. I dont know what's going on. I have made an appointment with my doctor next week. I have been feeling numb but anxious and just really strange. I felt like I was okay since we separated... sad, but ok. However, these past few days have been really strange. I just feel so BLAH. IDK how else to explain it...	Betterfuture	11	708	Jul 4, 2011 by tommyecat
	About time.. (Preview) Soo.. after 3 weeks of silence (except from his mother) my AH called me today. I didn't answer because well I just didn't really want to talk to him. Now this is amazing for me because any attention I get from him after a few weeks of nothing would have had me picking up my phone before the first ring ended....	Betterfuture	5	450	Jul 4, 2011 by Debilyn
	UGLIEST DOG (Preview) Briefly: the ugliest dog this year is kinda a member of my family! She is my step-sister's dog & she has been all over showing her off! Her name is YODA! I just thought I would let everyone know cause it is exciting to me! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	7	534	Jul 4, 2011 by pineapple
	What an awesome Round Up convention in Torrance, California (Preview) Hello to all: Hope you all are enjoying the holiday. Just wanted to share about this wonderful experience at the yearly Round Up ConventionI attended this weekend. They had wonderful speakers (AA/Alanon).The opening ceremony was just amazing. The speaker was a 22 yr. alcoholic survivor. His stor...	hawaiilover	5	609	Jul 4, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Hostility .. (Preview) Has anyone ever experienced total hostility from good friends (I'd consider them family) about going to alanon? I'm a little taken a back from a response I got from someone I care about and value dearly. In all fairness they are aware of what I have been through, know from their own experience of deal...	Pushka	9	1327	Jul 4, 2011 by ythannah
	what do you guys think (Preview) Ok my ex AGF called me today at work today. Told me she was going to quit her job move to california with her sister, and be her sister's child's nanny unitl she starts school again next year. I cant believe they would trust her with that child , and from earlier posts, some of you probably know the objectio...	jamfu	10	604	Jul 4, 2011 by ythannah
	Anyone else have a non-deity higher power? (Preview) I am an atheist. I have been an atheist for most of my adult life, and I have no interest in "finding religion" even if I were able (and I definitely went through a phase of trying, but I could never really believe when deep down in my gut I knew it wasn't real). Long before I discovered Al-Anon, I...	atheos	11	654	Jul 4, 2011 by Diva
	Its the journey not the destination (Preview) Heard this week in a meeting...."Recovery is a journey between two stations. One station represents total chaos, and the other represents total serenity. What is important is not where you are, but what direction you are facing."Isn't that the truth!	tommyecat	1	364	Jul 3, 2011 by Tracy
	When to Stop Talking (Preview) I am new here, so please bear with my long post. First let me say that I am a recovering alcoholic of 25 years and have been sober now for 6. My Catholic faith is the key to my continued sobriety and it is only by the grace of God that keeps me sober, no matter how tempted I get to take a drink. I attend no AA meetin...	jerald	5	555	Jul 3, 2011 by bud
	Checking in (Preview) I've been away from here too long and it's wonderful to read all of your posts. Still struggling, trying to constantly remind myself to butt out of my AH's recovery (or lack thereof, as the case may be). Still feeling lonely and isolated, tried reaching out to friends but everyone is busy. I am still lac...	Mlkiss75	6	471	Jul 3, 2011 by Mlkiss75
	Not Sure How to Handle Things Right Now family matters newcomer (Preview) Here's my current and most pressing life dilemma--my dad. He's a "dry drunk," I believe is the term. He's been "in recovery" for more than a year. He goes to countless meetings. But he has a mindset that this is all mean to hasten his recovery and make him better faster. I have only...	Whisperine	5	3294	Jul 3, 2011 by Whisperine
	My husband (separated)'s mother just found out she has cancer/he is in jail (Preview) My husband and I are legally separated (have been for 3 years). This week his mother found out that she has cancer. He is in jail and will be until about the end of July or beginning of August. There is a possibility she could die before he gets out of jail. He asked his sister to call his lawyer and s...	dotmeg	7	546	Jul 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	Selfhishness (Preview) How do you deal with the constant self serving attitude of the Alcoholic? She's now in AA but I think it's worse than ever. It's all about her needs first, totally ignoreing me. I don't know what to do anymore. She's been in AA for 3 months, drinking stopped, GREAT! but selfhishness has not and perha...	mcbgrad	9	719	Jul 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	Perception! (Preview) I thought my perception of what I thought of people and what they thought of me was correct, I hadn't learnt that feelings arn't facts, and that when I could learn to percieve things in an healthy way, I could see things with new eyes. As I am working with this new boundary with our son, my perception of wh...	Katy	5	686	Jul 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	Control vs a Boundary (Preview) I'm struggling with this particular issue at the moment. I have been working very hard at my control issues, need to be right, having the last word and so on. Classic co-dependent issues in a relationship with an addict. How is control different than a boundary? I hear a lot about boundaries being...	Pushka	11	1292	Jul 2, 2011 by Pushka
	Not handling uncertainty very well (Preview) I've been in the process of trying to buy a house for the last month and a half or so. It has not been fun. Although I had fun finding the house I wanted to buy, and the offer and acceptance part went fine, we have had a lot of trouble getting final approval for our loan. It's brought up many issues for me, an...	White Rabbit	6	743	Jul 2, 2011 by Pushka
	Sat. night mess (Preview) So I did have a wonderful time with my family last night until it was time to drive home. My spouse not only didn't feel well, had a headache, and her eyes hurt, but she drank some amount of alcohol and perhaps had a xanax earlier in the day. I did stay calm but decided she was NOT driving us home, about a 40 m...	Lyne	5	404	Jul 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	coping vs no coping (Preview) I am amazed that I can cope well for long periods of time with my A, and then all my skills and strengths just fall away. I'm in the unable to cope mode for the last two weeks. It was two weekends ago where she lied to me again, and last weekend she drank again. I'm the one who is supposed to change because...	Lyne	7	727	Jul 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	A wonderful story I heard (Preview) Two angels are walking all day and most of the night in beggar's clothes. They come upon a magnificent house. The house was in a very rich area. They saw the couple of the house just sitting down to a huge 3 course meal. They go up and knock on the door and are greeted by a servant. The servant brings them in t...	Kristi136188	7	490	Jul 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	Functioning alcohilic (Preview) I am the wife to a functioning alcoholic, the sister to a drug and alcoholic brother and the daughter of an alcoholic cop. When I met my husband he didn't drink much, well not in front if me maybe a glass or two of wine but unfortunately for me I didn't realize someone Who drank wine could also be an alcoholi...	Regi76	23	883	Jul 1, 2011 by Regi76
	I need some support today... (Preview) I can't get to a meeting until tomorrow night. Haven't been due to other things going on for a week and a half...I feel so sick in the head right now though and I need some support. I have that therpay appointment coming up, but really I can't afford to go. Its a $30 co-pay that I don't have. My bf has been...	youfoundme	20	565	Jul 1, 2011 by xeno59
	why do i keep getting sucked back in (Preview) hello everyone! thanks for all your comments on my last post. i would like to share a little something about "why do i keep getting sucked backed in and listen to my ah, like hes making good sense while hes taking pills and drinking. we had our 1st court date since i have filed for divorce and our nex...	sameoldstuff	9	560	Jul 1, 2011 by xeno59
	Marital Stress (Preview) My recovering AH and I seem to be having more and more problems. He's been sober for a year and we have been through ALOT during that year. We have many financial stressors and we are currently living in an extended stay hotel (it is VERY nice and in a safe neighborhood). He is on the road a lot (truck driver...	Kristi136188	4	476	Jul 1, 2011 by Aloha
	It's my choice, I want to drink (Preview) This is what my A said to me todaySO I too have choicesIt's been a tough few weeks, the binge has been horrific....hospital, psych ward, policeI relinquished control a while ago but every so often, you know, my fingers itch to pick it all up again, I can take it all back, I can cope, blah blah blah goes my i...	Jadie	8	603	Jul 1, 2011 by Pushka
	AH wants to stop drinking, asking me for help (Preview) Hello friends, I need some advice. I just spoke to my AH on the phone and after telling him I was upset and will be spending the weekend 45 mins away at my parents with our 3 yr. old daughter because I needed time away from his drinking he says he wants to change. he said he knows he drinks too much and doenst...	Regi76	15	880	Jul 1, 2011 by Regi76
	Misc Inspirational Quotes (Preview) This is not from al-anon approved material however I love it. The sayings are al-anonish take what you like I have enjoyed this list.Unless we change how we are, we will always have what we've got.We can have more than we've got because we can become more than we are.Good people are found not changed.A...	Pushka	4	2914	Jul 1, 2011 by danielle0516
	Being put a risk (Preview) Dear all, Last night I had a house fire. It was caused by the incompetence of a job performed by one of ex- A's friends. We are lucky to be alive. Ex-A took off during all the drama but unfortunately is back today. I can honestly say I am sick to death of him. His level of BS is life threatening at the moment. I c...	maire rua	8	389	Jul 1, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Hello (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm Jadie from the UKI've been in Al-Anon a couple of years but have moved to a rural area where there are no meetings.I try to work the programme in my life, to the best of my ability, day at a time.My A is advanced in their disease, does not live with me (a boundary I need for my serenity).I don'...	Jadie	10	409	Jul 1, 2011 by Jadie
	I had to bring it to the board... (Preview) My exaH had a very big surgery yesterday, one that has very big risks attached to it, for circulation. As some background he's in a very dark, angry, sad, hurting, tormented, fearful place and that is coming out in almost every decision he is making, in his words, thoughts and actions. He is livid wit...	Rora	8	650	Jul 1, 2011 by Rora
	Family (Preview) My wife's family knows about her disease and her depression and the struggles that have come as a result. My side of the family does not. We're going to be spending a lot of time with them this weekend--in fact, today my wife was with her sister in-law for much of the day. I'm struggling with the idea of the...	usedtobeanyer	17	405	Jul 1, 2011 by Jadie
	The last trigger.... (Preview) So for the last couple of days I have been practicing my Let Go and Let God. It seems to be going ok. I have severed all ties with my exA, even had my boss change my work number so he could no longer call there (he would leave nasty messages at work) It's been almost a year I believe that I have heard anything f...	mslouise	7	591	Jul 1, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Taking care of ourselfs first! (Preview) I was the program chairman at my f2f meeting this past Tuesday night. I volunteered! I had it on Taking care of ourselves first!!!! It was such an awesome program so many positive vibes coming at every direction. I was really proud of the feedback I was able to give when someone shared!!!!! These past fe...	MDK	5	389	Jun 30, 2011 by tommyecat
	First Al-Anon Meeting Tonight...Any Advice? newcomer al-anon (Preview) I'll make this brief--Hi, my name (here) is Whisperine. I'm a college grad who's moved out of her family home, but not out of her family dysfunction. My parents split unexpectedly after 27 years of marriage last year. At first it was a "trial seperation," then it became permanent, and now I...	Whisperine	7	6722	Jun 30, 2011 by tommyecat
	Just want to share this website (Preview) http://www.neillneill.com/married-to-a-functioning-alcoholic-help/comment-page-1#comment-121678	hawaiilover	6	364	Jun 30, 2011 by Debilyn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.