Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everybody, So glad you are here. Feeling very, very "off" this morning. So much happening that I feel I can hardly begin to sort through. I know I don't have to do my work all at once, that's not what I'm after - but something is blocking me in the immediate sense. Yes, I have a headache, I t...

MrsHennepope · MrsHennepope

Hi all.I'm new to the board and am here because my AH suggested it! I know that sounds strange,but he really has been trying to get better lately.He had an extremely difficult life before we were together( abusive father,failed relationships,drug addictions,death of his daughter etc).I believe h...

Jake831 · Jake831

Hello all. I'm new here, although my mom has been attending regular Al-Anon meetings for a while now. I'm here because my 18-year old sister (two years my junior) is a recovering alcoholic of two years. I'm currently home visiting my family in Chicago, as I live in New York City where I study and work. I'...

michellelong · michellelong

Good morning all, I'm still in a good place mentally at the moment and have been reading my little heart out to help stay this way. My AH has been sober for 8 days and counting (yes I still count) lol What I have previously shared about his upcoming incarceration has fallen apart, and boy I am so mad I could s...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

I have been in and out of a very hostile, passionate, outrageous relationship w/ my AH for about five years. I guess It just took ME this long to accept he is an alcoholic. We have a 3 year old daughter and plenty of support from family members and friends which is why I still can't understand why he drinks s...

peace · peace

hi everyone, I have not posted in a LONG time probably yrs. However I read allot and can related to it ALL. my story, we would have been married 23 yrs this month. The ups and downs of living just got to be to much for me, the boys are grown and gone and it was just him and I, and every night with beer and other s...

Doozy · Doozy

Just a quick share... I've been away for a few days on vacation with my family. I just have to tell y'all that it was one of the best weekends I have spent with my parents! I have myself, Alanon, and this board to thank along with some counseling. Huge, wonderful changes! Since starting Alanon, my approac...

lovee · lovee

I have been split from my son's father for a year and half now, it was my choice. Now he's dating someone and it's serious. All my grieve and sense of loss is now flooding in. All I can think about is them, I even had dreams about them. I'm trying to stay with my breath and redirect my mind to be in the moment...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm so upset with myself and I'm really trying to be gentle. I'm going to be so gentle that I'm cleaning the house today .. LOL. I've been going to the meetings and it totally helps. I just got off the phone with a wonderful girlfriend of mine. I have to say I do well at surrounding myself with beautiful...

Jozie · Jozie

Boy I Tell Ya... THANK GOD ABove for this Program... Currently it isn't just helping me Deal with My Active A's Or Active Addicts, but also the Going on in the world today, which has triggered the Grouch in my Husband...lol... It Amazes me Daily the Benifit of Just Repeating the Serenity Prayer when He o...

NovSun · NovSun

Confused and hurt again. My Afiance and I had a wonderful weekend. He went to the first private substance abuse counselor appt last Thursday. He said it helped. He will be attending group therapy 2 nights a week for 5 weeks. The counselor recommended an open AA meeting for Friday night. Friday c...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

Why do I allow myself to go down that ranting, raging road every time? I did everything wrong again this weekend. After the combination of negative eye rolling and ignoring by my AH on Saturday, I blew up again on Sunday morning. That just started the day of raging and arguing and us bringing up every wro...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I had a wonderful time at the week long mountain conference. It was the first time I have attended a conference that had programs for the entire family. AA, Alanon, Alateen, and pre alateen meetings each and every day. There were over 500 people that showed up for the conference with speakers from a...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Not sure if what I am doing is right or wrong. As I have mentioned in previous posts, my A is not an alcoholic, he is a pot smoker. He relapsed completely 3 days before our wedding. As of the last 4 months, he has reduced his smoking and I have asked that he not smoke if he and I are spending time together. Thi...

leaping lizard · leaping lizard

I have so much to say and ask I am not sure where to start without rambeling. I have been married for 26 years now and not sure if we will make it to 27. In the early years neither of us drank much but when friends came over DH would get beyond drunk. at that time in life I never considered him an alcoholic as i...

Ruby · Ruby

My 26 y.o. a/a grandson with anger management issues, and his 44 y.o. a/a mother also has anger management issues are both homeless, the place they had been using as a home (for the past 6 wks) is no longer available to them. I've already told them they can't stay with me in thier current disease stat...

Jadie · Jadie

........... I go to bed spiritually healthy, detached, calm......and then the disease attacks me in the night.I WILL NOT engage with the disease, the disease cannot give me healthy, TRUTHFUL responses. The disease will tell me what I want to hear if I ask......... I no longer askI won't be someone'...

clep · clep

My A and I went yesterday morning to our son's psychologist appt. We had a family exercise she wanted to do with us this session. It was a real eye opener. My A got to hear from her that the state of mom and dad individually and the state of our relationship will impact our son more than anything else will...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Come on already??? Why am I choosing to go through this?? I dont have children, I have a great career. Why do I stay??? If you would tell me not to touch a hot stove, I wouldn't. This keeps happening over and over!!! Enough already! I used my tools today. I got out, got active, even cooked for the jerk! Am I...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am trying to use my alanon tools in all my affairs. As I get healtier I see that a business I have with a friend doing photography for weddings is just not in my favor and she doesn't seem to want to listen to me when I talk. Things that bother me are just minimized and she has kind of become my boss even thou...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Just when I found joy again, hours after I thanked God for the blessings in life and when I was confident that life with my A hubby was possible, his 19 year old son was killed by an accidental gunshot. That was 90 days ago. It has been 90 days of hell on earth. In 8 years, I have been by my husbands side as he b...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I ask why me? Why not me? I am sure a lot of us feel like we don't have many options on how to deal w/ the alcoholics in our lives. I personally feel that we have been blessed enough to find this program & some of us have been able to heal tremendously. I am one of them. I am grateful to say that I am a...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Here's the abandon kitty I just adopted recently (see avatar). I sure wasn't in the market for another kitty/cat! However, my HP had other things in mind. His name is Lucky because he was fortunate to have been saved that day by my ex-AH. I sure hope his mother and siblings are not suffering! He sur...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL .. yesterday was meeting day for me .. the morning meeting was just terrific I am really enjoying that group a LOT!! I did not get much else done it was a running day. Anyway, we had a thread going on about some great quotes I thought I would share what was said yesterday. "Man makes his plans an...

Danielleibelli · Danielleibelli

I am feeling uneasy and fearful, my boyfriend and childs father is an alcoholic and claims he wants to quit drinking but he is at a bar with friends, and to me that is a danger zone. He has lied about drinking recently and I am fearful he will tonight , and sad because i will have to end the relationship. I can...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello everyone, Hope you all are doing as well as possinle. I have been really good and of course I am questioning if really good is real or if I have taken detachment so far that nothing touches me. I have finished my summer classes. Sent a letter to the officials about a grade I am not happy with due to my...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, First off, so I can give something back, check my 'something for everyone' post if you haven't - it's REALLY worked for me! I am awkwardly asking for support and kindness, as the next few months are looking very tough. If you need backstory read on [ otherwise skip! ;) ]; Things are co...

sarah1979 · sarah1979

I am new to this site. My OH is a high functioning alcoholic. we have been together for the last 14 years and married for 6. I've known it's been a problem for about the last 8 years. he is a very good husband in lots of ways. he is thoughtful and kind and generous. he has a high powered job and to the outs...

KodakMoment · KodakMoment

I am a completely sober - never really have had much to drink - person. I started dating a guy I've known since grade school in early February. I knew right away he drank too much. His family even cautioned me about his drinking. I didn't like it and really didn't feel like the relationship would last...

sookie · sookie

I have been struggling since my AH left 3 days ago. Although I have been pushing for him to be on his own, so he can own his own recovery and get sober w/o using me as a crutch or excuse. This is HELL. I miss him and am scared for him. He has not even let me know where he is and we have 2 kids. The silence is tearing me...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, Have any of you attended adult child of alcoholics meetings? There seems to be only one anywhere near my area, and it's a good 20-30 min drive away. I was hoping someone could recommend an online resource such as this one, or some reading material? In reading about adult child character...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, Being new I feel I haven't had much to contribute, but want to do something helpful. What I can and want to share is my favorite parable. Most of you may have heard it before. All I know is in my life, it has been a HUGE blessing! Here you go; A man walking across a field encounters a tiger....

michellelong · michellelong

Hi All, It's been close to a week since I had a mental breakdown and I am thankful to all of you who sent reply posts filled with encouragement and hope. Last weekend was one of the most brutal yet! My AH left 3PM Friday and drank along with obscene amounts of cocaine until coming home (walked 6 miles throug...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Let me start this by saying, that even with this "crisis" I am feeling at the moment, Alanon has been a lifesaver for without it I probably would have been in jail by now. i know this will pass, but going on the umpteenth night of no sleep, it is hard to believe it at this moment. It is 3:45 am, and w...

Sincerely · Sincerely

So, my active a hubby asks me.. What am I doing wrong? Well, I don't freakn know, I'm not in his head, I don't know why he makes bad decisions. However, that question he asked me made me take a look at myself. What am "I" doing wrong? 1. I'm letting his issues become mine. 2. I'm also telling m...

Ruby · Ruby

I have a sponsor who is there for me when she is not involved in her own stuff, she is going through a divorce which is very difficult for her, she doesn't have a sponsor, so I find myself acting as her sponsor. We have become good friends, but I would really like a sponsor who has more time for me, I would lik...

oldergal · oldergal

Three months away from my A Son, it seems I was doing good, but he came over and visited and now I am back to where my head was before I asked him to leave. Apparently I am not working on my program enough. He came over and dumped all his problems on me. Although it was a give and take civilized conversation, I c...

Hayes · Hayes

There is a thunder storm outside. I can't control it. I guess the meteorologists can monitor it. But they can't control it either. No one can control the weather. Tonight, I am happy with the weather, with the outcome. It's beautiful to listen too and there is an amazing atmosphere in the air. I would...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I am trying to detach from my AH, because we are fighting all the time anyway. I have been super quiet the last few days, since a big blow up on the weekend and only talk to him when I have to. He said to me at one point "why don't you just shutup for about 5 years", which hurt me and so I have pulled...

odalis · odalis

So today I slipped..majorly! Long story short, a few months ago, we bought a fairly new car that had been in an accident, had it repaired by a "reliable" body shop and now are finding a bunch of things they didn't do right. So the estimate with the new body shop is $1700 and I just flipped! My AH w...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all - just a word of encouragement for us all..... if at all possible, please get yourself to face-to-face Al-Anon meetings - they really are amazing, and such an important piece of our respective recoveries.... MIP, reading books, talking to others - are all really important, but are really 'sup...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Just feel like I`am getting now where in the program. Like I haven`t changed an a bit. Been reacting to my daughter this week and my grandaughter. Not sure how much more I can take. She is becoming her mother! I`ve been going to lots of meetings but I must be a stubborn bull head because I`am not working th...

lost2112 · lost2112

So i trusted my A to go to a concert tonight...he said he wouldnt drink and that he loved me... he came home from the concert after drinking once again... telling me im a horrible parent and telling me that i dont do anything , im lazy, i sit on my a** eating junk food and not going to the gym! what did i ever do t...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all of you Miracles in Progress :) I just wanted to check in tonight. I've had so many things going on, I can't even say. I'm struggling in a lot of ways, but am really feeling good about my progress. I've read in posts and books about people feeling anxiety and discomfort during the early stages of rec...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

When ABF was locked up, I immediately felt the need to "get rid" of signs of him around the condo. I boxed up his beautiful flat screen tv, surround sound, x box, etc... and it's been sitting in a spare room.. I purchased a new tv for myself and squeezed my furniture (that he doesn't like) int...

Sincerely · Sincerely

After the tragic death of my A hubby's son on April 18th, so many people told me... God has a plan. Well, eventually it started to tick me off hearing that. It did not give me any comfort at all. Then one day, talking to someone, i had a aha moment! YES!!!! God does have a plan, however the devil does too! Th...

lost2112 · lost2112

I am currently engaged to the love of my life, who also is an alcoholic. I love him so much but I doont know what to do. He was sober for 3 years and then got sick and spent a few weeks in the hospital and since he has gone back to drinking. He doesnt come home sometimes and is lying about where he is and what he is d...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

ABF has been locked up for 34 days now. Numerous times he's told me he signed up for AA. He said normally it takes a bit of time to get "approved" to go. Which I understand. He said that last week they didn't call him for it. So, stupid me, looked tonight... you can pull up the detention list a...

johne · johne

Dont know what to do my wife of 1 year and five years together. Most of this time I was out, after 12 years of not drinking but not working the program. I am a text book alcoholic co dependent trying to control everything. I now have 21 days and some peace and hope. She is very CD and has her other ways of a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Was getting groceries. Heard this gal yelling, I mean it was like if someone stole your car yelling. I mean cussing tearing the person down etc. I saw her,she definitely looked and acted A. She was yelling at her guy as far as I could tell. He was clean cut, looked and acted sweet,embarrassed. She said so...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, BTW I'm going to a meeting in a couple of hours, but am wondering if anyone has experienced this? My RA of 1.5 yrs. is 7 yrs sober, but he seems...sick? And in his own reality? He is still isolated from all of his friends and is feeding everything - time, money, all topics of conversat...

Kate1979 · Kate1979

I am struggling with trust with my AH, and I do not know what to do. I joined this board a few months ago and have found hope and inspiration here. I have also realized through reading literature that I too, have a sickness. It is a sickness that has come with being married to an alcoholic. One thing I tr...

soulsurfing · soulsurfing

So, where do I start? Never done this and never would have thought I needed too. Guess I'll just jump right to it and see what you guys think. I've been married 14 years to an AH. I knew he drank....a lot....but like most, figured marriage and family would change him. He grew up with a very abusive AF an...

Heartbroken Mom · Heartbroken Mom

My heart is so broken. My son is on opiates and he is killing himself. I have asked him to get help and I will go with him. He keeps telling me that he is recovering but I know he is still using. He won't take a drug test saying he doesn't have to go to the bathroom. I am a single mom and he is 23 still living at...

Golightly24 · Golightly24

I have been reading all of the threads here and am so grateful to have foudn you all. I'll be attending my first meeting on Tuesday (the first night I am able with my work schedule). UNtil then, I need advice and don't know where else to turn. My A boyfriend checked himself into rehab on Saturday. He came c...

Jules1011 · Jules1011

I have received a lot of help through reading these posts, by everyone especially when I have been unable to attend F2F meetings. Although luckily for me I have went to 3 meetings this week, my bf has given up his job without consulting me, I told him that if he didnt go to work then he would have to leave, w...

Pushka · Pushka

I went to an open AA meeting it was amazing tonight. Normally there is an alanon meeting however they do a joint thing with AA. As I've never been to an AA meeting before this was a first and I am so very glad I went. The person who shared was really terrific. Had some wonderful insights as well as an over...

NovSun · NovSun

Does anyone ever feel like "why should I have to do anything, I am not the one with the 'problem' here"? I just kicked my fiance out. We are new to this town, he has no friends here, nowhere to go. We did attend our first AA meeting on Monday night (after he drank Monday afternoon and then felt...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I recently volunteered to care for a little abandon kitten. He's about 3 weeks old. Therefore, he needs to be bottle fed and have his little private parts messaged so he can elminate body waste. I was very reluctant to take this cat home. However, given the circumstances, he would have died if left t...

GreenK · GreenK

I'm charged up from what was to me, a great meeting! The topic was about "How does the program teach us how to share in meetings?" The readings were from One Day at a Time and an Alanon pamphlet about sponsorship. I'm just 7 months into the program but I've experienced awesome meeting...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ACoA continued (Preview) Hi Everybody, So glad you are here. Feeling very, very "off" this morning. So much happening that I feel I can hardly begin to sort through. I know I don't have to do my work all at once, that's not what I'm after - but something is blocking me in the immediate sense. Yes, I have a headache, I t...	KLotus	9	678	Aug 9, 2011 by hiflying1
	New here (Preview) Hi all.I'm new to the board and am here because my AH suggested it! I know that sounds strange,but he really has been trying to get better lately.He had an extremely difficult life before we were together( abusive father,failed relationships,drug addictions,death of his daughter etc).I believe h...	MrsHennepope	10	485	Aug 9, 2011 by MrsHennepope
	Part of the disease? Really? Need advice. (Preview) Hello all. I'm new here, although my mom has been attending regular Al-Anon meetings for a while now. I'm here because my 18-year old sister (two years my junior) is a recovering alcoholic of two years. I'm currently home visiting my family in Chicago, as I live in New York City where I study and work. I'...	Jake831	10	607	Aug 9, 2011 by Kate1979
	a little disturbed (Preview) Good morning all, I'm still in a good place mentally at the moment and have been reading my little heart out to help stay this way. My AH has been sober for 8 days and counting (yes I still count) lol What I have previously shared about his upcoming incarceration has fallen apart, and boy I am so mad I could s...	michellelong	11	721	Aug 9, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	hope i made the right choice (Preview) I have been in and out of a very hostile, passionate, outrageous relationship w/ my AH for about five years. I guess It just took ME this long to accept he is an alcoholic. We have a 3 year old daughter and plenty of support from family members and friends which is why I still can't understand why he drinks s...	Betterfuture	5	553	Aug 9, 2011 by jbunny
	My Story (Preview) hi everyone, I have not posted in a LONG time probably yrs. However I read allot and can related to it ALL. my story, we would have been married 23 yrs this month. The ups and downs of living just got to be to much for me, the boys are grown and gone and it was just him and I, and every night with beer and other s...	peace	6	651	Aug 9, 2011 by GreenK
	Something hopeful :) (Preview) Just a quick share... I've been away for a few days on vacation with my family. I just have to tell y'all that it was one of the best weekends I have spent with my parents! I have myself, Alanon, and this board to thank along with some counseling. Huge, wonderful changes! Since starting Alanon, my approac...	Doozy	8	555	Aug 9, 2011 by GreenK
	Trying to stay in the moment (Preview) I have been split from my son's father for a year and half now, it was my choice. Now he's dating someone and it's serious. All my grieve and sense of loss is now flooding in. All I can think about is them, I even had dreams about them. I'm trying to stay with my breath and redirect my mind to be in the moment...	lovee	6	410	Aug 9, 2011 by tommyecat
	Struggling with detachment and disconnect (Preview) I'm so upset with myself and I'm really trying to be gentle. I'm going to be so gentle that I'm cleaning the house today .. LOL. I've been going to the meetings and it totally helps. I just got off the phone with a wonderful girlfriend of mine. I have to say I do well at surrounding myself with beautiful...	Pushka	10	1046	Aug 9, 2011 by Pushka
	Practice Practice Practice ;) (Preview) Boy I Tell Ya... THANK GOD ABove for this Program... Currently it isn't just helping me Deal with My Active A's Or Active Addicts, but also the Going on in the world today, which has triggered the Grouch in my Husband...lol... It Amazes me Daily the Benifit of Just Repeating the Serenity Prayer when He o...	Jozie	6	413	Aug 9, 2011 by Ruby
	Confused and hurt again (Preview) Confused and hurt again. My Afiance and I had a wonderful weekend. He went to the first private substance abuse counselor appt last Thursday. He said it helped. He will be attending group therapy 2 nights a week for 5 weeks. The counselor recommended an open AA meeting for Friday night. Friday c...	NovSun	12	600	Aug 9, 2011 by youfoundme
	Why do I keep getting sucked in? (Preview) Why do I allow myself to go down that ranting, raging road every time? I did everything wrong again this weekend. After the combination of negative eye rolling and ignoring by my AH on Saturday, I blew up again on Sunday morning. That just started the day of raging and arguing and us bringing up every wro...	oldgraduate	16	812	Aug 9, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Had a great time (Preview) I had a wonderful time at the week long mountain conference. It was the first time I have attended a conference that had programs for the entire family. AA, Alanon, Alateen, and pre alateen meetings each and every day. There were over 500 people that showed up for the conference with speakers from a...	tommyecat	9	500	Aug 8, 2011 by Doozy
	did I do this wrong (Preview) Not sure if what I am doing is right or wrong. As I have mentioned in previous posts, my A is not an alcoholic, he is a pot smoker. He relapsed completely 3 days before our wedding. As of the last 4 months, he has reduced his smoking and I have asked that he not smoke if he and I are spending time together. Thi...	Lindaoakford	20	723	Aug 8, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	sorry just another newbie here.... (Preview) I have so much to say and ask I am not sure where to start without rambeling. I have been married for 26 years now and not sure if we will make it to 27. In the early years neither of us drank much but when friends came over DH would get beyond drunk. at that time in life I never considered him an alcoholic as i...	leaping lizard	7	583	Aug 8, 2011 by Doozy
	Feeling pressured! (Preview) My 26 y.o. a/a grandson with anger management issues, and his 44 y.o. a/a mother also has anger management issues are both homeless, the place they had been using as a home (for the past 6 wks) is no longer available to them. I've already told them they can't stay with me in thier current disease stat...	Ruby	7	698	Aug 8, 2011 by Samsgram
	This morning I woke up trembling.........again. (Preview) ........... I go to bed spiritually healthy, detached, calm......and then the disease attacks me in the night.I WILL NOT engage with the disease, the disease cannot give me healthy, TRUTHFUL responses. The disease will tell me what I want to hear if I ask......... I no longer askI won't be someone'...	Jadie	8	651	Aug 8, 2011 by youfoundme
	AA, psychologist appt and maybe change. (Preview) My A and I went yesterday morning to our son's psychologist appt. We had a family exercise she wanted to do with us this session. It was a real eye opener. My A got to hear from her that the state of mom and dad individually and the state of our relationship will impact our son more than anything else will...	clep	5	496	Aug 8, 2011 by youfoundme
	Why am I still here??? (Preview) Come on already??? Why am I choosing to go through this?? I dont have children, I have a great career. Why do I stay??? If you would tell me not to touch a hot stove, I wouldn't. This keeps happening over and over!!! Enough already! I used my tools today. I got out, got active, even cooked for the jerk! Am I...	Sincerely	7	789	Aug 8, 2011 by youfoundme
	How do I dissolve a business in a good way? (Preview) I am trying to use my alanon tools in all my affairs. As I get healtier I see that a business I have with a friend doing photography for weddings is just not in my favor and she doesn't seem to want to listen to me when I talk. Things that bother me are just minimized and she has kind of become my boss even thou...	youfoundme	8	842	Aug 8, 2011 by youfoundme
	A Child's Death - a living hell (Preview) Just when I found joy again, hours after I thanked God for the blessings in life and when I was confident that life with my A hubby was possible, his 19 year old son was killed by an accidental gunshot. That was 90 days ago. It has been 90 days of hell on earth. In 8 years, I have been by my husbands side as he b...	Sincerely	14	781	Aug 8, 2011 by hiflying1
	Why not me? (Preview) Sometimes I ask why me? Why not me? I am sure a lot of us feel like we don't have many options on how to deal w/ the alcoholics in our lives. I personally feel that we have been blessed enough to find this program & some of us have been able to heal tremendously. I am one of them. I am grateful to say that I am a...	Hoot Nanny	7	721	Aug 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Introducing my "ODAT" Reminder! (Preview) Here's the abandon kitty I just adopted recently (see avatar). I sure wasn't in the market for another kitty/cat! However, my HP had other things in mind. His name is Lucky because he was fortunate to have been saved that day by my ex-AH. I sure hope his mother and siblings are not suffering! He sur...	GailMichelle	6	713	Aug 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Morning Meeting .. (Preview) LOL .. yesterday was meeting day for me .. the morning meeting was just terrific I am really enjoying that group a LOT!! I did not get much else done it was a running day. Anyway, we had a thread going on about some great quotes I thought I would share what was said yesterday. "Man makes his plans an...	Pushka	4	557	Aug 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Feeling uneasy and fearful- need advice please. (Preview) I am feeling uneasy and fearful, my boyfriend and childs father is an alcoholic and claims he wants to quit drinking but he is at a bar with friends, and to me that is a danger zone. He has lied about drinking recently and I am fearful he will tonight , and sad because i will have to end the relationship. I can...	Danielleibelli	5	792	Aug 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Can detachment go too far? (Preview) Hello everyone, Hope you all are doing as well as possinle. I have been really good and of course I am questioning if really good is real or if I have taken detachment so far that nothing touches me. I have finished my summer classes. Sent a letter to the officials about a grade I am not happy with due to my...	Jennifer	5	1061	Aug 8, 2011 by Jennifer
	need support, rough seas ahead (Preview) Hey everybody, First off, so I can give something back, check my 'something for everyone' post if you haven't - it's REALLY worked for me! I am awkwardly asking for support and kindness, as the next few months are looking very tough. If you need backstory read on [ otherwise skip! ;) ]; Things are co...	rara avis	4	691	Aug 8, 2011 by Pushka
	Please help (Preview) I am new to this site. My OH is a high functioning alcoholic. we have been together for the last 14 years and married for 6. I've known it's been a problem for about the last 8 years. he is a very good husband in lots of ways. he is thoughtful and kind and generous. he has a high powered job and to the outs...	sarah1979	6	542	Aug 8, 2011 by sarah1979
	Trying to Figure the Whiplash out (Preview) I am a completely sober - never really have had much to drink - person. I started dating a guy I've known since grade school in early February. I knew right away he drank too much. His family even cautioned me about his drinking. I didn't like it and really didn't feel like the relationship would last...	KodakMoment	5	648	Aug 7, 2011 by KodakMoment
	Hope for today (Preview) I have been struggling since my AH left 3 days ago. Although I have been pushing for him to be on his own, so he can own his own recovery and get sober w/o using me as a crutch or excuse. This is HELL. I miss him and am scared for him. He has not even let me know where he is and we have 2 kids. The silence is tearing me...	sookie	6	1130	Aug 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	Adult children (Preview) Hi Everyone, Have any of you attended adult child of alcoholics meetings? There seems to be only one anywhere near my area, and it's a good 20-30 min drive away. I was hoping someone could recommend an online resource such as this one, or some reading material? In reading about adult child character...	KLotus	6	810	Aug 7, 2011 by Pushka
	Brief story for everyone (Preview) Hey everybody, Being new I feel I haven't had much to contribute, but want to do something helpful. What I can and want to share is my favorite parable. Most of you may have heard it before. All I know is in my life, it has been a HUGE blessing! Here you go; A man walking across a field encounters a tiger....	rara avis	5	519	Aug 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	It's been awhile! Still struggling with my AH! (Preview) Hi All, It's been close to a week since I had a mental breakdown and I am thankful to all of you who sent reply posts filled with encouragement and hope. Last weekend was one of the most brutal yet! My AH left 3PM Friday and drank along with obscene amounts of cocaine until coming home (walked 6 miles throug...	michellelong	6	466	Aug 7, 2011 by michellelong
	please talk me off the ledge (Preview) Let me start this by saying, that even with this "crisis" I am feeling at the moment, Alanon has been a lifesaver for without it I probably would have been in jail by now. i know this will pass, but going on the umpteenth night of no sleep, it is hard to believe it at this moment. It is 3:45 am, and w...	Loupiness	10	719	Aug 7, 2011 by GailMichelle
	What am I doing wrong, he asks? (Preview) So, my active a hubby asks me.. What am I doing wrong? Well, I don't freakn know, I'm not in his head, I don't know why he makes bad decisions. However, that question he asked me made me take a look at myself. What am "I" doing wrong? 1. I'm letting his issues become mine. 2. I'm also telling m...	Sincerely	6	760	Aug 7, 2011 by sookie
	Getting a different sponsor! (Preview) I have a sponsor who is there for me when she is not involved in her own stuff, she is going through a divorce which is very difficult for her, she doesn't have a sponsor, so I find myself acting as her sponsor. We have become good friends, but I would really like a sponsor who has more time for me, I would lik...	Ruby	5	560	Aug 7, 2011 by 2nice4_2long
	Thought I was doing ok (Preview) Three months away from my A Son, it seems I was doing good, but he came over and visited and now I am back to where my head was before I asked him to leave. Apparently I am not working on my program enough. He came over and dumped all his problems on me. Although it was a give and take civilized conversation, I c...	oldergal	4	592	Aug 6, 2011 by lasthope
	Great Expectations (Preview) There is a thunder storm outside. I can't control it. I guess the meteorologists can monitor it. But they can't control it either. No one can control the weather. Tonight, I am happy with the weather, with the outcome. It's beautiful to listen too and there is an amazing atmosphere in the air. I would...	Hayes	4	471	Aug 6, 2011 by Hayes
	What is healthy detachment? (Preview) I am trying to detach from my AH, because we are fighting all the time anyway. I have been super quiet the last few days, since a big blow up on the weekend and only talk to him when I have to. He said to me at one point "why don't you just shutup for about 5 years", which hurt me and so I have pulled...	oldgraduate	10	822	Aug 6, 2011 by Sincerely
	slipped today but tried to fix it (Preview) So today I slipped..majorly! Long story short, a few months ago, we bought a fairly new car that had been in an accident, had it repaired by a "reliable" body shop and now are finding a bunch of things they didn't do right. So the estimate with the new body shop is $1700 and I just flipped! My AH w...	odalis	9	588	Aug 6, 2011 by lasthope
	F2F Meetings - Challenge Yourself (Preview) Hi all - just a word of encouragement for us all..... if at all possible, please get yourself to face-to-face Al-Anon meetings - they really are amazing, and such an important piece of our respective recoveries.... MIP, reading books, talking to others - are all really important, but are really 'sup...	canadianguy	9	592	Aug 6, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Passing on " The Issum`s" (Preview) Just feel like I`am getting now where in the program. Like I haven`t changed an a bit. Been reacting to my daughter this week and my grandaughter. Not sure how much more I can take. She is becoming her mother! I`ve been going to lots of meetings but I must be a stubborn bull head because I`am not working th...	Samsgram	13	750	Aug 6, 2011 by Jennifer
	how can i trust him??? (Preview) So i trusted my A to go to a concert tonight...he said he wouldnt drink and that he loved me... he came home from the concert after drinking once again... telling me im a horrible parent and telling me that i dont do anything , im lazy, i sit on my a** eating junk food and not going to the gym! what did i ever do t...	lost2112	8	680	Aug 6, 2011 by Pushka
	Anxiety, struggling and also feeling good (Preview) Hi all of you Miracles in Progress :) I just wanted to check in tonight. I've had so many things going on, I can't even say. I'm struggling in a lot of ways, but am really feeling good about my progress. I've read in posts and books about people feeling anxiety and discomfort during the early stages of rec...	Doozy	6	593	Aug 6, 2011 by lasthope
	Little things for me... (Preview) When ABF was locked up, I immediately felt the need to "get rid" of signs of him around the condo. I boxed up his beautiful flat screen tv, surround sound, x box, etc... and it's been sitting in a spare room.. I purchased a new tv for myself and squeezed my furniture (that he doesn't like) int...	ELEKTRAWMN	8	546	Aug 6, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	God's Plan or the devils work? (Preview) After the tragic death of my A hubby's son on April 18th, so many people told me... God has a plan. Well, eventually it started to tick me off hearing that. It did not give me any comfort at all. Then one day, talking to someone, i had a aha moment! YES!!!! God does have a plan, however the devil does too! Th...	Sincerely	4	642	Aug 6, 2011 by sookie
	New to this.. please help!! (Preview) I am currently engaged to the love of my life, who also is an alcoholic. I love him so much but I doont know what to do. He was sober for 3 years and then got sick and spent a few weeks in the hospital and since he has gone back to drinking. He doesnt come home sometimes and is lying about where he is and what he is d...	lost2112	12	627	Aug 6, 2011 by Pushka
	Why do I do this to myself??? (Preview) ABF has been locked up for 34 days now. Numerous times he's told me he signed up for AA. He said normally it takes a bit of time to get "approved" to go. Which I understand. He said that last week they didn't call him for it. So, stupid me, looked tonight... you can pull up the detention list a...	ELEKTRAWMN	11	599	Aug 6, 2011 by youfoundme
	Dont know what to do (Preview) Dont know what to do my wife of 1 year and five years together. Most of this time I was out, after 12 years of not drinking but not working the program. I am a text book alcoholic co dependent trying to control everything. I now have 21 days and some peace and hope. She is very CD and has her other ways of a...	johne	5	606	Aug 6, 2011 by johne
	Bad incident in store (Preview) Was getting groceries. Heard this gal yelling, I mean it was like if someone stole your car yelling. I mean cussing tearing the person down etc. I saw her,she definitely looked and acted A. She was yelling at her guy as far as I could tell. He was clean cut, looked and acted sweet,embarrassed. She said so...	Debilyn	4	696	Aug 5, 2011 by Sincerely
	sober but...sick? (Preview) Hey everybody, BTW I'm going to a meeting in a couple of hours, but am wondering if anyone has experienced this? My RA of 1.5 yrs. is 7 yrs sober, but he seems...sick? And in his own reality? He is still isolated from all of his friends and is feeding everything - time, money, all topics of conversat...	rara avis	4	718	Aug 5, 2011 by lasthope
	Trust issues...help! (Preview) I am struggling with trust with my AH, and I do not know what to do. I joined this board a few months ago and have found hope and inspiration here. I have also realized through reading literature that I too, have a sickness. It is a sickness that has come with being married to an alcoholic. One thing I tr...	Kate1979	8	943	Aug 5, 2011 by Debilyn
	Help! Confused (Preview) So, where do I start? Never done this and never would have thought I needed too. Guess I'll just jump right to it and see what you guys think. I've been married 14 years to an AH. I knew he drank....a lot....but like most, figured marriage and family would change him. He grew up with a very abusive AF an...	soulsurfing	8	623	Aug 5, 2011 by abbyal
	I don't know how to help my son (Preview) My heart is so broken. My son is on opiates and he is killing himself. I have asked him to get help and I will go with him. He keeps telling me that he is recovering but I know he is still using. He won't take a drug test saying he doesn't have to go to the bathroom. I am a single mom and he is 23 still living at...	Heartbroken Mom	6	517	Aug 5, 2011 by abbyal
	When there's a child (who isn't yours) involved (Preview) I have been reading all of the threads here and am so grateful to have foudn you all. I'll be attending my first meeting on Tuesday (the first night I am able with my work schedule). UNtil then, I need advice and don't know where else to turn. My A boyfriend checked himself into rehab on Saturday. He came c...	Golightly24	5	493	Aug 5, 2011 by Cloudsea
	this too shall pass........? long post sorry (needed to spill it all out) (Preview) I have received a lot of help through reading these posts, by everyone especially when I have been unable to attend F2F meetings. Although luckily for me I have went to 3 meetings this week, my bf has given up his job without consulting me, I told him that if he didnt go to work then he would have to leave, w...	Jules1011	8	552	Aug 5, 2011 by Pushka
	Open AA meeting (Preview) I went to an open AA meeting it was amazing tonight. Normally there is an alanon meeting however they do a joint thing with AA. As I've never been to an AA meeting before this was a first and I am so very glad I went. The person who shared was really terrific. Had some wonderful insights as well as an over...	Pushka	5	453	Aug 5, 2011 by Pushka
	Is this all worth it? (Preview) Does anyone ever feel like "why should I have to do anything, I am not the one with the 'problem' here"? I just kicked my fiance out. We are new to this town, he has no friends here, nowhere to go. We did attend our first AA meeting on Monday night (after he drank Monday afternoon and then felt...	NovSun	17	767	Aug 5, 2011 by KLotus
	Practicing Being in the Moment (Preview) I recently volunteered to care for a little abandon kitten. He's about 3 weeks old. Therefore, he needs to be bottle fed and have his little private parts messaged so he can elminate body waste. I was very reluctant to take this cat home. However, given the circumstances, he would have died if left t...	GailMichelle	9	1176	Aug 5, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Wow, what a meeting tonight! (Preview) I'm charged up from what was to me, a great meeting! The topic was about "How does the program teach us how to share in meetings?" The readings were from One Day at a Time and an Alanon pamphlet about sponsorship. I'm just 7 months into the program but I've experienced awesome meeting...	GreenK	5	562	Aug 5, 2011 by GreenK
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.