Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Ruby · Ruby

I'm so ashamed, I just allowed my al/ad daughter and her adult son, with anger management issues and drug abuse issues, to stay at my house until her apt. is ready on the 1st. I feel so bad that I wasn't able to continue my strong stance with "No." she did agree to go to aa meeting while they are...

chinup · chinup

what my mother always told us growing up,and i feel like that lonesome sooooo lonesome and wanting of a good companion,but scared to cause of falling into a codependent one or worse a alcoholic/ addict one ,lol not much to pick from huh,but im older and wiser now and know what works and what dont and will...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi all, been a while. I have been so busy with working and bills bills bills! Just read a reminder in the blue book that its easy to forget how frantic you felt when you first came into AlAnon. When you have even a moment of serenity, its so easy to forget how frustrated and insane you felt. I know this happen...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

Sober AH has been bemoaning how much he hates AA, but he can't stop going because of how he thinks I'll treat him. He resents that he feels like he has to go (because of me, of course). I looked at him and said, "I don't give a &*%$ if you go. Go because you get something out of it, or because you enj...

Katy · Katy

Light bulb moment whoop whoop, it's that time of the month again when I thought I could be excused of myself because I usually am not at all myself, but today I can feel what I am feeling, our lad has been pressing my buttons big time, and he even tells me he is doing it as he does it, just as I begin to take the po...

Ruby · Ruby

I attempted to send a reply and closed appeared and the message wasn't sent. That was the 1st time that has happened to me, wondering if it was something I did wrong? Ruby!

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

When I'm feeling all mopey and gloomy, nothing irritates me more than a funny joke that makes me laugh when I don't want to. That being said, a coworker told me this joke last week, and it irritated me TWICE! Once when he told me right in the middle of me trying to indulge in feeling like a victim, and the...

Jennifer · Jennifer

As I mentioned in my previous post I am doing a medical treatment for the next couple weeks ... and I fully realize that I have a few thousand milligrams of steroids pumping through my brain and body right now. But my head is going to explode ... I was fine until my exAH showed up this morning to talk to me...

sirchef · sirchef

Struggle with this so much. Is there a fundamental difference between acceptance, resignation and giving up? Are they all exactly the same ? Just different in our mind set. Where we happen to be at this moment? Any thoughts?

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I lifted this quote (see below) from YFM's post. It was written by that guy up North -Tom. Well, as I grew in my recovery, I discovered the truth, and (of course) I couldn't fix anyone else, etc.... The cool thing was - Step 1 changed for me, from being "weak" to one that both empowered me, AN...

Ness · Ness

Morning all......just want to throw this around a bit....I value your support and feedback as you know.I feel change is in the air for my Ason, but what I dont know.He has been phoning off and on the last couple of weeks, just to talk to me, no demands, no poor me's, he accepts he is where he is because of his...

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

Step one . . . yep, still hung up on step one. Well, not intellectually -- in my mind I totally got it. Give up the power. Let go and let God. Half of it I have nailed. Solid as stone it fits in my soul like the last piece of an immense jigsaw puzzle. Click! True. My life has become unmanageable. That part is easy...

chinup · chinup

i dont understand how to start a date or have a date or keep it going with out letting them think im headoverheals in love at 1st site ive been dumped soo many times,it hurts,feeling unworthy and i dont know how to act i dont know how to say no and they have their way with me ,its like i feel their dominate and s...

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

Ok, so I got this contraption. It's really a spiffy, high-tech, thinga-ma-jobber. It's got whiz-bangits, and whamdoozles. So many whooza-whatsits, it's hard to know which doo-hickey activates all of its whatcha-jiggies. Alright, enough technical jargon. The really cool thing is what is DOE...

maresie · maresie

I grew up around people with no boundaries. My parents couldn't say "boo" to their relatives. Our uncles, cousins, neighbors came and stayed whenever they felt like it. One of my cousins friends came and lived with my mother for 2 years, rentfree, she fed him too. I resented the enmeshm...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I have no idea what posessed me this afternoon/this evening I have identified lately, that whenever I start to feel a bit of calmness, I go and do something to stir the pot??? I don't realise it until afterwards. I feel calm enough to have a calm discussion, so I do... it never is though!!! Well someti...

chinup · chinup

i do need some esh here cause i dont know whats healthy behavior is,ive just invited a handicapped guy to my home to stay for a week that ive been talking to on the internet on a dateing site ,ive never known what healthy is in my whole intire life when it comes to relationships all ive really learned is to st...

daisygirl · daisygirl

It has been a roller coaster ride from the beginning. I am stopping the ride and getting off for good. I have been in a relationship with my AB for just over 4 years now. I have begged, pleaded, tried to bribe, etc... for him to go to AA. He doesn't have a problem, I do! I deserve to be happy. I am not and I h...

chinup · chinup

thanx mattie,bud,crazy frog ruby and like my heart for all yalls esh and putting my head on right,this is something ive never addressed cause i never knew how ,i feel so much better now.takeing s-l-o-w-l-y is just what i needed to hear alsothis all was scareing me to death,although he is a super nice gu...

lasthope · lasthope

Other than deleting and starting over does anyone know how to change your name? Edit profile allows you to edit everything except your name. Thank you all.

Doozy · Doozy

Well, the update is I felt strong and calm from my Alanon, supportive friends, and personal growth - enough to break the ice with my roommate and let her know that the way she's treating me has really hurt my feelings. It made for a VERY difficult conversation, but that's just what we needed to get out of t...

Pushka · Pushka

I"m having a difficult time wrapping my brain around how much this whole SCRAM thing is costing financially the family. It does go straight back to the DUI. It really ticks me off that it was soooo avoidable and it does bring up past resentments. Which I am so entitled to, I just do not want to bea...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I am reading a book by John and Linda Friel called "Adult children The secrets of dysfunctional families" the last few chapters are great. Part III in particularly is speaking to me. The Denial, The Feelings, The Secrets, etc I have been doing a lot of nodding, and you know that funny so...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

Was going to post this at the end of my last weeks topic on depression but thought I would start a new one, since others might relate. Just got back to work today and saw the lovely posts from everyone. Wanted to thank you all for your words of comfort and support. I did have a really frustrating day on Fr...

Gailey · Gailey

I attended my first open AA meeting with my son on Sunday morning while the two of us shared a mother/son weekend at the beach. It was a very good meeting and I felt very welcomed. The leader came up to me outside of the meeting and thanked me for coming to support my son. She said that she wished more A's had...

Lindsayglu · Lindsayglu

How did I get here? I've been married to the same man for 33 years. He's been depressed and in treatment for about 15 and many times he self medicates with alcohol. I'm sure you've all seen the behavior, stumbling, mumbling,nasty drunk. I've tried to make excuses because of his mental illness but w...

GreenK · GreenK

Ok, I'm a relatively new member but I can honestly say that Alanon is changing and saving my life. I don't want to see meetings fall apart that could help others in need. I'm talking about hierarchial pyramid-style sponsorships, snubbing members, "grand" sponsors, (the WSO has said t...

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

Ok, there I was, reading Hawaiilover's post about the horrible meeting, mentally chewing on the words, thinking if there was any way I could relate, show support, or whatnot; meanwhile scrolling down through the responses sifting through the gems to see if there was one that shone bright for my sit...

Lyne · Lyne

My A spouse asked me if I loved her today. I said I did. I don't know if I do. I am a really honest person and it feels horrible to be dishonest. I can't feel the love anymore or right now and haven't been able to since about May. It could be that I've been too hurt, too disappointed, and lied to too many ti...

Doozy · Doozy

Thank God for Alanon! I don't know where I would be today without everything I've learned recently! I have been very challenged this weekend and am struggling a lot, but definitely doing much better than I would have in the past. I still see my A-exBF's children once in a while. We became very close ove...

Doozy · Doozy

This is pretty LONG, but it makes me feel better to write this out and share. Thank you for giving me a safe, supportive space for this! Well, I posted a few days ago that I had asked my friend and roommate to move out. We're both young, single professionals and it's tough to find a place to rent on your own a...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am feeling like I realize now I am powerless... and I go back to step 1 every day... but that yes, I am realizing that a power greater than me can restore me to sanity. I listened to a Mary Pearl pod cast in the bath tub last night. Well she was on the lap top, I was in the tub :) LOL... Anyway, it was amazing...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Do you discuss being in Al-Anon with your A? While I was posting my update, ABF sat next to me and I closed down the screen. He became "concerned" what I was doing. I explained (again) I was involved in an Al-Anon message board. He made the comment that he didn't understand WHY I needed t...

KLotus · KLotus

I am up at 1:00am after hearing my husband who was talking on the phone outside, under the bedroom window. From the bit I heard, he was discussing all of the issues he has that he's upset about, and then referred to me as a "nutcase." I would never talk about him so disrespectfully, which is w...

Anne01 · Anne01

My issue now is I have a 43 year old brother who is in rehab for the 3rd or 4th time, has 9 DUI's, running from police, been tasered x2, driving while license suspended, etc. He wants to come stay with me til he is able to get his own place. My heart sank when he asked me this. Even though I let him do this 2 or 3 t...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi guys, just wanted to let you all know that my husband's depression is sooooo much better. He was put on Paxil and Trazadone (for sleep) for his issues which basically are depression, anxiety, PTSD, and a host of other issues we were dealing with. He is much better but his personality itself hasn't...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI Its is day 7 (tuesday), of me not checking up on my husband smoking pot. I will qualify that by saying, I have not looked into his pot drawer to see if he has had a smoke, and then waited for him to lie to me about it. Ihave done this for 6 and a half days conisently. Hopefully I will make it to complete this...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I broke I checked He smoked He lied

Pushka · Pushka

I really, really, really, really (have I already said really?) hate facebook today. I have a love/ hate relationship with facebook. I'll be back to loving it soon enough. Especially when my crops on fronterville are ready .. lol. As unfair as it is for me to say this it's the truth .. I'm ok with face...

maresie · maresie

I left the now Ex A almost 5 years ago (next year it will be 5)..... Changing behavior since then has been a long hard road. I meet people all the time who are dysfunctional/addicts. How I respond to them has evolved. I don't necessarily have the red flagarometer because I grew up in addiciton/madnes...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

Life sure is a rollercoaster!!! Still struggling to find that balance but handling things much better than ever thanks to Al-Anon. I passed the NCLEX yay!! Starting school to get my RN at the end of August. I lost my JOB :( and currently not receiving ANY financial assistance from AH. I'm not even broke...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

After months of reading, visiting this board and working on myself I finally went to a f2f meeting. Wanted to share for others that have never been but want to go. It was not what I expected. I don't know what I thought it would be. We spent very little time talking about the addicts in our life, we talked ab...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Just want to vent today. Have not been feeling emotionally well today. Feeling a bit frustrated about things: family, job, my weekly Alanon meeting, and hosts of other things. Went to a meeting tonite and the meeting was conversational style. Cross talk was really up and happening throughout the me...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Ugh, I need to do some medical treatments for a few weeks that cause mood and personality changes at times. In person I manage well but when I write I have a bit less .... let's call it tact? I refrain from posting during these treatments because my true personality and thoughts are not well represented...

pineapple · pineapple

Tom, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! I hope you have an excellent day, you deserve it!

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I still feel the need to update this board on each day. Yesterday I was feeling really low. You know I think people like us become a tad psychic (or psycho as my mother would say). I had a feeling yesterday that something 'odd' was happening. Anyway, I got home before him. Usually I woudl come strai...

Lizabelle123 · Lizabelle123

My AH had an accident a little over a month ago while seriously intoxicated and got pretty banged up. He's been sober ever since, joined a Smart Recovery program (he is an atheist so he has a really hard time with AA), sees a therapist and goes to meetings. He seems to be doing really well but I know he stl...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, I went to a mini convention at the weekend to celebrate 60 years of al anon it was great. I saw lots of al anon memebers that i only really see at conventions. My ABF slipped over amonths ago and is back out there after 9 months sobriety. I have been doing o.k and have not been in contact leavi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I don't feel like I make any sense at all! The words don't come out right & I just feel very frustrated by it all. I don't know if it is age, exhaustion or mental difficulties. I have been known to hit my head quite often. I have bad vision & don't always realize that my head is closer to som...

HopeLadybug · HopeLadybug

Hi everyone- please forgive me in advance if this post is confusing and rambling at times- I feel as tho I have an overload of emotions and thoughts running thru my head right now and just need to get it out. I've been a member of a group board in the past (when I was pregnant) and have always felt that was som...

Pushka · Pushka

ME ME ME .. I DID IT!! I actually got in the car, started it and now I'm fully driving down the road. I'm soooo excited and anxious. The lady I asked, I have been listening to her shares over the past few weeks and I don't know why I didn't think to ask her earlier, she's not my home meeting I really enjoy thi...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I was triggered this weekend right back into my own disease. Yes I do believe and know that I have a disease of the mind, body and soul...spirit... I am triggered by many things but somehow because I have a sponsor, she can just speak to me and I am back in program. If I don't use the tool of calling her, ma...

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

Hi there, everyone. I'm Brian, and I'm new to this. I recently came to the realization (2 Weeks Ago) that despite all pretenses, and regardless of how my professional life is spot-on, my life was out of control. The Facts: I am codependent. My wife is an alcoholic and may be codependent also. I have b...

plsellars · plsellars

My wife whom I never knew how much I truly loved and would miss has still not returned from her rehabilitation program in Florida. She has been gone for 60 days and I still have no information on her return of if she plans to try and save our marriage. It has been over a week and half since I have spoke with my 1...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi Its day 6 of my not checking up on him. I am feeling two things quite strongly which Iwould like education on from you guys. 1. Grief. I feel like crying alot. I feel I have lost something. Maybe it is the giving away of my control, maybe it is the realisation that I am married to an addict.... again....

Pushka · Pushka

Well, .. it's official today is the big ol' SCRAM day .. ohhh boy .. this is so going to be interesting. I haven't been around much this weekend, it has just worked out that way in the evening. The past two meetings I haven't gotten home until after 10pm. There are a lot of other things happening that I...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. I better start out by saying I learned my lesson well as we are having a situation unfold that is partially of my making and really none of my business. I pointed something out and all of a sudden there have been some what?! Now I'm going oh crud this is not what I had in mind. I got what I forced and now...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Program is. Friday a usual day off for my wife because her hours were cut back a year ago because of the financial meltdown; however she told me she had an afternoon "business meeting" with the hotel she does the books for and that causes me to "flip" the program switch on and to g...

Samsgram · Samsgram

As many know I posted for prayers recently regarding my brother`s situation being very sick from his disease. He still remains in ICU. My mother however is getting sicker and sicker in her disease. She was only at her best when she was in denial believing that he was not drinking. Now that he is hopitali...

sugar-bomb · sugar-bomb

Hey everyone, how are you all? I've posted this on the AA boards too but was recommended to post here too, I hope you can help me. I'm not an alcoholic myself but my partner is. I knew he was before I began to date him, so it does not affect my opinion on him, but having been with him for a while I've noticed thi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I just relapsed, help!!! (Preview) I'm so ashamed, I just allowed my al/ad daughter and her adult son, with anger management issues and drug abuse issues, to stay at my house until her apt. is ready on the 1st. I feel so bad that I wasn't able to continue my strong stance with "No." she did agree to go to aa meeting while they are...	Ruby	8	669	Aug 18, 2011 by Ruby
	lonesomeness will eat u up and spit u out at the same time (Preview) what my mother always told us growing up,and i feel like that lonesome sooooo lonesome and wanting of a good companion,but scared to cause of falling into a codependent one or worse a alcoholic/ addict one ,lol not much to pick from huh,but im older and wiser now and know what works and what dont and will...	chinup	4	497	Aug 18, 2011 by Pushka
	Newcomers (Preview) Hi all, been a while. I have been so busy with working and bills bills bills! Just read a reminder in the blue book that its easy to forget how frantic you felt when you first came into AlAnon. When you have even a moment of serenity, its so easy to forget how frustrated and insane you felt. I know this happen...	Corgi2	3	610	Aug 18, 2011 by MrsHennepope
	Got one right! (Preview) Sober AH has been bemoaning how much he hates AA, but he can't stop going because of how he thinks I'll treat him. He resents that he feels like he has to go (because of me, of course). I looked at him and said, "I don't give a &*%$ if you go. Go because you get something out of it, or because you enj...	Hot Chicka	2	467	Aug 18, 2011 by xeno59
	self awareness, who me? (Preview) Light bulb moment whoop whoop, it's that time of the month again when I thought I could be excused of myself because I usually am not at all myself, but today I can feel what I am feeling, our lad has been pressing my buttons big time, and he even tells me he is doing it as he does it, just as I begin to take the po...	Katy	3	937	Aug 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	unable to submit reply (Preview) I attempted to send a reply and closed appeared and the message wasn't sent. That was the 1st time that has happened to me, wondering if it was something I did wrong? Ruby!	Ruby	2	472	Aug 18, 2011 by abbyal
	Need a Boost? (Preview) When I'm feeling all mopey and gloomy, nothing irritates me more than a funny joke that makes me laugh when I don't want to. That being said, a coworker told me this joke last week, and it irritated me TWICE! Once when he told me right in the middle of me trying to indulge in feeling like a victim, and the...	Superhero No More	5	510	Aug 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	Nowhere else to go with this at the moment (Preview) As I mentioned in my previous post I am doing a medical treatment for the next couple weeks ... and I fully realize that I have a few thousand milligrams of steroids pumping through my brain and body right now. But my head is going to explode ... I was fine until my exAH showed up this morning to talk to me...	Jennifer	7	495	Aug 18, 2011 by Ness
	acceptance (Preview) Struggle with this so much. Is there a fundamental difference between acceptance, resignation and giving up? Are they all exactly the same ? Just different in our mind set. Where we happen to be at this moment? Any thoughts?	sirchef	11	1423	Aug 18, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Twisted Thinking - Phew! Caught it In time! (Preview) I lifted this quote (see below) from YFM's post. It was written by that guy up North -Tom. Well, as I grew in my recovery, I discovered the truth, and (of course) I couldn't fix anyone else, etc.... The cool thing was - Step 1 changed for me, from being "weak" to one that both empowered me, AN...	GailMichelle	9	565	Aug 18, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Sick & tired, change is in the air.....but what? (Preview) Morning all......just want to throw this around a bit....I value your support and feedback as you know.I feel change is in the air for my Ason, but what I dont know.He has been phoning off and on the last couple of weeks, just to talk to me, no demands, no poor me's, he accepts he is where he is because of his...	Ness	8	534	Aug 18, 2011 by Ness
	Rambling on while sitting still (Preview) Step one . . . yep, still hung up on step one. Well, not intellectually -- in my mind I totally got it. Give up the power. Let go and let God. Half of it I have nailed. Solid as stone it fits in my soul like the last piece of an immense jigsaw puzzle. Click! True. My life has become unmanageable. That part is easy...	Superhero No More	11	503	Aug 18, 2011 by likemyheart
	jumping in feet 1st,and uhaul next (Preview) i dont understand how to start a date or have a date or keep it going with out letting them think im headoverheals in love at 1st site ive been dumped soo many times,it hurts,feeling unworthy and i dont know how to act i dont know how to say no and they have their way with me ,its like i feel their dominate and s...	chinup	8	707	Aug 18, 2011 by likemyheart
	My Contraption (Preview) Ok, so I got this contraption. It's really a spiffy, high-tech, thinga-ma-jobber. It's got whiz-bangits, and whamdoozles. So many whooza-whatsits, it's hard to know which doo-hickey activates all of its whatcha-jiggies. Alright, enough technical jargon. The really cool thing is what is DOE...	Superhero No More	5	622	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	boundaries sadness is progress (Preview) I grew up around people with no boundaries. My parents couldn't say "boo" to their relatives. Our uncles, cousins, neighbors came and stayed whenever they felt like it. One of my cousins friends came and lived with my mother for 2 years, rentfree, she fed him too. I resented the enmeshm...	maresie	5	695	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Not sure what to call this (Preview) I have no idea what posessed me this afternoon/this evening I have identified lately, that whenever I start to feel a bit of calmness, I go and do something to stir the pot??? I don't realise it until afterwards. I feel calm enough to have a calm discussion, so I do... it never is though!!! Well someti...	Lindaoakford	6	548	Aug 17, 2011 by oldergal
	disfunctional behavior (Preview) i do need some esh here cause i dont know whats healthy behavior is,ive just invited a handicapped guy to my home to stay for a week that ive been talking to on the internet on a dateing site ,ive never known what healthy is in my whole intire life when it comes to relationships all ive really learned is to st...	chinup	6	680	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Codependent no more! (Preview) It has been a roller coaster ride from the beginning. I am stopping the ride and getting off for good. I have been in a relationship with my AB for just over 4 years now. I have begged, pleaded, tried to bribe, etc... for him to go to AA. He doesn't have a problem, I do! I deserve to be happy. I am not and I h...	daisygirl	4	3175	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	thanx for all the esh on dateing,with jumping in both feet 1st (closed) (Preview) thanx mattie,bud,crazy frog ruby and like my heart for all yalls esh and putting my head on right,this is something ive never addressed cause i never knew how ,i feel so much better now.takeing s-l-o-w-l-y is just what i needed to hear alsothis all was scareing me to death,although he is a super nice gu...	chinup	1	593	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Does anyone know how to change your name? (Preview) Other than deleting and starting over does anyone know how to change your name? Edit profile allows you to edit everything except your name. Thank you all.	lasthope	2	374	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Update and new Definition of Addiction (Preview) Well, the update is I felt strong and calm from my Alanon, supportive friends, and personal growth - enough to break the ice with my roommate and let her know that the way she's treating me has really hurt my feelings. It made for a VERY difficult conversation, but that's just what we needed to get out of t...	Doozy	12	929	Aug 17, 2011 by DadtoCandE
	Crabby .. (Preview) I"m having a difficult time wrapping my brain around how much this whole SCRAM thing is costing financially the family. It does go straight back to the DUI. It really ticks me off that it was soooo avoidable and it does bring up past resentments. Which I am so entitled to, I just do not want to bea...	Pushka	5	764	Aug 17, 2011 by Pushka
	reading a book and rang about meetings (Preview) Hi I am reading a book by John and Linda Friel called "Adult children The secrets of dysfunctional families" the last few chapters are great. Part III in particularly is speaking to me. The Denial, The Feelings, The Secrets, etc I have been doing a lot of nodding, and you know that funny so...	Lindaoakford	3	376	Aug 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	Fluctuate between Feelings of Depression and Anxiety (Preview) Was going to post this at the end of my last weeks topic on depression but thought I would start a new one, since others might relate. Just got back to work today and saw the lovely posts from everyone. Wanted to thank you all for your words of comfort and support. I did have a really frustrating day on Fr...	oldgraduate	9	861	Aug 17, 2011 by oldgraduate
	my first AA meeting (Preview) I attended my first open AA meeting with my son on Sunday morning while the two of us shared a mother/son weekend at the beach. It was a very good meeting and I felt very welcomed. The leader came up to me outside of the meeting and thanked me for coming to support my son. She said that she wished more A's had...	Gailey	10	636	Aug 17, 2011 by NovSun
	I know I'm smart but I'm feeling stupid (Preview) How did I get here? I've been married to the same man for 33 years. He's been depressed and in treatment for about 15 and many times he self medicates with alcohol. I'm sure you've all seen the behavior, stumbling, mumbling,nasty drunk. I've tried to make excuses because of his mental illness but w...	Lindsayglu	6	699	Aug 17, 2011 by Lindsayglu
	Shenanigans at Alanon meetings (Preview) Ok, I'm a relatively new member but I can honestly say that Alanon is changing and saving my life. I don't want to see meetings fall apart that could help others in need. I'm talking about hierarchial pyramid-style sponsorships, snubbing members, "grand" sponsors, (the WSO has said t...	GreenK	13	2421	Aug 17, 2011 by GreenK
	Dinner Time for My Soul (Preview) Ok, there I was, reading Hawaiilover's post about the horrible meeting, mentally chewing on the words, thinking if there was any way I could relate, show support, or whatnot; meanwhile scrolling down through the responses sifting through the gems to see if there was one that shone bright for my sit...	Superhero No More	6	562	Aug 17, 2011 by youfoundme
	I lied today (Preview) My A spouse asked me if I loved her today. I said I did. I don't know if I do. I am a really honest person and it feels horrible to be dishonest. I can't feel the love anymore or right now and haven't been able to since about May. It could be that I've been too hurt, too disappointed, and lied to too many ti...	Lyne	9	708	Aug 17, 2011 by Jerry F
	Working it hard as I can today! (Preview) Thank God for Alanon! I don't know where I would be today without everything I've learned recently! I have been very challenged this weekend and am struggling a lot, but definitely doing much better than I would have in the past. I still see my A-exBF's children once in a while. We became very close ove...	Doozy	3	518	Aug 16, 2011 by Doozy
	Asked roommate to move out (Preview) This is pretty LONG, but it makes me feel better to write this out and share. Thank you for giving me a safe, supportive space for this! Well, I posted a few days ago that I had asked my friend and roommate to move out. We're both young, single professionals and it's tough to find a place to rent on your own a...	Doozy	4	790	Aug 16, 2011 by Doozy
	Accepting me for me (Preview) I am feeling like I realize now I am powerless... and I go back to step 1 every day... but that yes, I am realizing that a power greater than me can restore me to sanity. I listened to a Mary Pearl pod cast in the bath tub last night. Well she was on the lap top, I was in the tub :) LOL... Anyway, it was amazing...	youfoundme	8	611	Aug 16, 2011 by Doozy
	Another question...... (Preview) Do you discuss being in Al-Anon with your A? While I was posting my update, ABF sat next to me and I closed down the screen. He became "concerned" what I was doing. I explained (again) I was involved in an Al-Anon message board. He made the comment that he didn't understand WHY I needed t...	ELEKTRAWMN	9	624	Aug 16, 2011 by sookie
	Bothered (Preview) I am up at 1:00am after hearing my husband who was talking on the phone outside, under the bedroom window. From the bit I heard, he was discussing all of the issues he has that he's upset about, and then referred to me as a "nutcase." I would never talk about him so disrespectfully, which is w...	KLotus	14	707	Aug 16, 2011 by KLotus
	LET GO AND LET GOD OR HELP? (Preview) My issue now is I have a 43 year old brother who is in rehab for the 3rd or 4th time, has 9 DUI's, running from police, been tasered x2, driving while license suspended, etc. He wants to come stay with me til he is able to get his own place. My heart sank when he asked me this. Even though I let him do this 2 or 3 t...	Anne01	10	660	Aug 16, 2011 by sookie
	Taking anti-depressants and drinking (Preview) Hi guys, just wanted to let you all know that my husband's depression is sooooo much better. He was put on Paxil and Trazadone (for sleep) for his issues which basically are depression, anxiety, PTSD, and a host of other issues we were dealing with. He is much better but his personality itself hasn't...	ilovedogs	9	530	Aug 16, 2011 by Bettina
	perhaps this is what calm feels like? (Preview) HI Its is day 7 (tuesday), of me not checking up on my husband smoking pot. I will qualify that by saying, I have not looked into his pot drawer to see if he has had a smoke, and then waited for him to lie to me about it. Ihave done this for 6 and a half days conisently. Hopefully I will make it to complete this...	Lindaoakford	11	508	Aug 16, 2011 by Superhero No More
	Didn't make it to the end of day 7 (Preview) I broke I checked He smoked He lied	Lindaoakford	14	632	Aug 16, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	I hate facebook .. (Preview) I really, really, really, really (have I already said really?) hate facebook today. I have a love/ hate relationship with facebook. I'll be back to loving it soon enough. Especially when my crops on fronterville are ready .. lol. As unfair as it is for me to say this it's the truth .. I'm ok with face...	Pushka	12	910	Aug 16, 2011 by robind78
	changing behavior (Preview) I left the now Ex A almost 5 years ago (next year it will be 5)..... Changing behavior since then has been a long hard road. I meet people all the time who are dysfunctional/addicts. How I respond to them has evolved. I don't necessarily have the red flagarometer because I grew up in addiciton/madnes...	maresie	7	598	Aug 16, 2011 by canadianguy
	The Ups and Downs (Preview) Life sure is a rollercoaster!!! Still struggling to find that balance but handling things much better than ever thanks to Al-Anon. I passed the NCLEX yay!! Starting school to get my RN at the end of August. I lost my JOB :( and currently not receiving ANY financial assistance from AH. I'm not even broke...	Betterfuture	12	785	Aug 16, 2011 by canadianguy
	First Meeting Thoughts (Preview) After months of reading, visiting this board and working on myself I finally went to a f2f meeting. Wanted to share for others that have never been but want to go. It was not what I expected. I don't know what I thought it would be. We spent very little time talking about the addicts in our life, we talked ab...	surfgirl123	8	438	Aug 16, 2011 by Chrystyne
	Feeling Overwhelmed Today (Preview) Just want to vent today. Have not been feeling emotionally well today. Feeling a bit frustrated about things: family, job, my weekly Alanon meeting, and hosts of other things. Went to a meeting tonite and the meeting was conversational style. Cross talk was really up and happening throughout the me...	hawaiilover	10	702	Aug 16, 2011 by odalis
	My Absent Note (Preview) Ugh, I need to do some medical treatments for a few weeks that cause mood and personality changes at times. In person I manage well but when I write I have a bit less .... let's call it tact? I refrain from posting during these treatments because my true personality and thoughts are not well represented...	Jennifer	8	771	Aug 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Happy birthday canadianguy (Preview) Tom, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! I hope you have an excellent day, you deserve it!	pineapple	19	601	Aug 16, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Yesterday (Preview) Hi I still feel the need to update this board on each day. Yesterday I was feeling really low. You know I think people like us become a tad psychic (or psycho as my mother would say). I had a feeling yesterday that something 'odd' was happening. Anyway, I got home before him. Usually I woudl come strai...	Lindaoakford	10	641	Aug 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Is it wrong to consider leaving? (Preview) My AH had an accident a little over a month ago while seriously intoxicated and got pretty banged up. He's been sober ever since, joined a Smart Recovery program (he is an atheist so he has a really hard time with AA), sees a therapist and goes to meetings. He seems to be doing really well but I know he stl...	Lizabelle123	11	3547	Aug 16, 2011 by Too hard
	60 years of al anon (Preview) Hi everyone, I went to a mini convention at the weekend to celebrate 60 years of al anon it was great. I saw lots of al anon memebers that i only really see at conventions. My ABF slipped over amonths ago and is back out there after 9 months sobriety. I have been doing o.k and have not been in contact leavi...	Tracy	4	739	Aug 16, 2011 by hawaiilover
	sometimes I don't feel like I make sense! (Preview) Sometimes I don't feel like I make any sense at all! The words don't come out right & I just feel very frustrated by it all. I don't know if it is age, exhaustion or mental difficulties. I have been known to hit my head quite often. I have bad vision & don't always realize that my head is closer to som...	Hoot Nanny	7	622	Aug 15, 2011 by HopeLadybug
	New here and feeling lost and terrified. (Preview) Hi everyone- please forgive me in advance if this post is confusing and rambling at times- I feel as tho I have an overload of emotions and thoughts running thru my head right now and just need to get it out. I've been a member of a group board in the past (when I was pregnant) and have always felt that was som...	HopeLadybug	11	528	Aug 15, 2011 by RLC
	Guess who got a sponsor?? (Preview) ME ME ME .. I DID IT!! I actually got in the car, started it and now I'm fully driving down the road. I'm soooo excited and anxious. The lady I asked, I have been listening to her shares over the past few weeks and I don't know why I didn't think to ask her earlier, she's not my home meeting I really enjoy thi...	Pushka	8	445	Aug 15, 2011 by Jerry F
	Triggers, and other stuff (Preview) I was triggered this weekend right back into my own disease. Yes I do believe and know that I have a disease of the mind, body and soul...spirit... I am triggered by many things but somehow because I have a sponsor, she can just speak to me and I am back in program. If I don't use the tool of calling her, ma...	youfoundme	9	1194	Aug 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Newbie Sharing Thoughts on Steps (Preview) Hi there, everyone. I'm Brian, and I'm new to this. I recently came to the realization (2 Weeks Ago) that despite all pretenses, and regardless of how my professional life is spot-on, my life was out of control. The Facts: I am codependent. My wife is an alcoholic and may be codependent also. I have b...	Superhero No More	8	424	Aug 15, 2011 by Doozy
	Struggling (Preview) My wife whom I never knew how much I truly loved and would miss has still not returned from her rehabilitation program in Florida. She has been gone for 60 days and I still have no information on her return of if she plans to try and save our marriage. It has been over a week and half since I have spoke with my 1...	plsellars	5	459	Aug 15, 2011 by plsellars
	Resentment and grief (Preview) Hi Its day 6 of my not checking up on him. I am feeling two things quite strongly which Iwould like education on from you guys. 1. Grief. I feel like crying alot. I feel I have lost something. Maybe it is the giving away of my control, maybe it is the realisation that I am married to an addict.... again....	Lindaoakford	6	954	Aug 15, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Scram Day (Preview) Well, .. it's official today is the big ol' SCRAM day .. ohhh boy .. this is so going to be interesting. I haven't been around much this weekend, it has just worked out that way in the evening. The past two meetings I haven't gotten home until after 10pm. There are a lot of other things happening that I...	Pushka	1	655	Aug 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	Secrets (Preview) Ok .. I better start out by saying I learned my lesson well as we are having a situation unfold that is partially of my making and really none of my business. I pointed something out and all of a sudden there have been some what?! Now I'm going oh crud this is not what I had in mind. I got what I forced and now...	Pushka	5	1096	Aug 15, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	Procrastination isn't a part of the solution now. (Preview) Program is. Friday a usual day off for my wife because her hours were cut back a year ago because of the financial meltdown; however she told me she had an afternoon "business meeting" with the hotel she does the books for and that causes me to "flip" the program switch on and to g...	Jerry F	8	493	Aug 15, 2011 by Jozie
	Slightly off topic.... (Preview) As many know I posted for prayers recently regarding my brother`s situation being very sick from his disease. He still remains in ICU. My mother however is getting sicker and sicker in her disease. She was only at her best when she was in denial believing that he was not drinking. Now that he is hopitali...	Samsgram	7	547	Aug 15, 2011 by Samsgram
	Need some insight please (Preview) Hey everyone, how are you all? I've posted this on the AA boards too but was recommended to post here too, I hope you can help me. I'm not an alcoholic myself but my partner is. I knew he was before I began to date him, so it does not affect my opinion on him, but having been with him for a while I've noticed thi...	sugar-bomb	5	573	Aug 15, 2011 by tommyecat
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.