Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kay115 · kay115

Well, I finally brought out the D word today....Divorce. The craziest part to me is that I really mean it. Either things take a dramatic change in the next week or two or I want out. Yes, I know that I cannot control my AH, but I can control how much I let myself be affected by all of this, and staying in a marri...

Betsy B · Betsy B

Hello all, I've been lurking so to speak since April. My geographical circumstances changed temporarily then and I was no longer able to get to my long loved face to face meetings. So that's how I found MIP. I just wanted to say hello and let you all know that, since May, every morning when I wake, I grab...

odalis · odalis

I just have to share this...For months I have been asking God to send me a sign that what I am doing is right, to lead me in the right direction, to help me understand and be compassionate to my AH, to even send me a dream that I am not crazy and I am allowing him to do his will. I think my sign has come!! haha I ask...

pen · pen

Not really sure how to start this. Definitely have been an enabler by trying to deny there is a problem or being scared to confront the problem (or any number of other excuses). I accidently stumbled into an AA meeting about 2 years ago and realized at that point that my wife is not only an alcoholic but...

odalis · odalis

Hi all. I hope everyone is doing well tonight. I have a question about responding to outsider's comments. By that I mean people who kinda know me, but who I am not friendly with and know nothing about. they are aquaintances, neighbors, etc. One guy is the one who works at the corner store. Way back when I...

Katy · Katy

I went out for a meal with a friend from a now disfunct face to face, one of my non alanon friends is just going through a real sad crisis, her happy marriage of thirty years has been blown apart, by infedilitey on her husbands part, this friend has been through thick and thin with me, and I would go as far as...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI guys For many years I have hated mornings..... I often wake with a feeling of dread and anxiety and hate who I am. I wake up feeling fat and ugly and generally angry for just waking up!!!! I recently have been doing lots of work on this about the last 5 months. I have been looking into why. I think one o...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

There were children in a cafeteria line. The nun put a note on the apples--don't eat more than one; God is watching! A kid put a note on the cookies--eat all you want, God is watching the Apples! I got a kick out of this one! I hope you got a good laugh! Kathleen By the way, I shortened the joke!

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am still hangin' in as I try to make some sense of my life. I am getting better at getting over my past but have moments; many of them where I am not sure! I keep the focus on me as much as possible. Yesterday I realized that I really have no one to answer to except myself & that the responsibility reside...

GreenK · GreenK

Ok,I will just type it out and not think too much or over complicate my confusion. I don't know if this will make much sense given my brain today. For those in relationship with a drinker who is also verbally mean, critical, and dismissive, does it represent a double whammy? Does anyone else fantasi...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Has anyone ever read her book? I saw it on amazon and I was wondering what it was like. Also what about any other obscure alanon titles I may find there? I already have "As we understood..." which I love! Is the Dilema of the alcoholic marriage a good read? Also any other great speakers t...

odalis · odalis

ok, so my 15 year old has her friend over, and the 7 year old does too. They are playing Wii, AH was drinking, and I tell everyone I am going out be back in a little while. AH was on teh phone during this so he was not paying attention. I turned my phone volume all the way down to not be interrupted during the meet...

Overcome · Overcome

I'm still having computer as well as financial problems, so don't have access to my OP scripts for Sunday nights meeting and will be unable to chair the meeting. I hope someone will step up to the post and chair for me. The meeting is at 6 p.m. EST Sunday evening and usually runs for an hour and a half. Thank...

Overcome · Overcome

hi MIP family! My computer went down this morning and it is in the shop. I need someone to cover for me for Sunday nights meeting (OP's). I will come back in Saturday to the library and check to make sure it is covered, but I can't run a meeting from the library! lol Because of anonomity. I will hopefully hav...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, Just wanted you to know that I don't have a sponsor of f2f close-ish connections yet, so I'm writing here. I do have some wise friends and a counselor, but any input would be invaluable! This weekend I planned a loose ultimatum w/my RA. Basically to take his meds regularly, take care o...

parfait624 · parfait624

It's been a few months since my A-BF broke up with me for what seems to be the 1000th time. I have gone through feelings of anxiety, saddness, betrayal, anger, and frustration. We broke up for a year and a half the first time. He was on his sixth step in AA when we got back together he had been sober from al...

GreenK · GreenK

I took some time to read some posts and replies and I'm already calming down. I was headed in a very bad direction about an hour ago and was in a pretty bad state of mind but I was able to pay attention to my thoughts. They were, "Really? Is this all there is? Are you kidding me?" And, "Wh...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I am frustrated with myself for slipping. Or maybe I am just frustrated. I just need to vent so stop reading if you arent up to hearing my venting! I was doing so well with focusing on self, not taking it personally, and staying centered. Then the AH had a couple days of interrogating me and then sile...

mslouise · mslouise

I have to remember to just breath today.......cause things have been great. My life has been great. Things with my new wonderful boyfriend are beyond my wildest dreams of what a man could be. Me....I'm stronger, Better, but I'm still a work in progress. I started to see a counselor about the speci...

sirchef · sirchef

Since we had such fun with acceptence here's another one Ican't get past. Hope we all need it to get through this mess. But isn't hope just another projection of our idea of reality? Or do we really just hope for something other than present reality and take what ever that may be? Is hope a projection?...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

STrange title but I never know what to call things. I had a moment yesterday where I realised that alot of my thinking is certainly 'past' based. I had a birthday banner up for a party that I had in April. Didn't want it taken down as I liked it. It was strung up withsticky tape between two poles which are c...

xeno59 · xeno59

I know I don't post to often although I love reading the posts and reply (causiously lol) when I think I may have something to offer and I attend our morning meetings on a daily basis. Should someone have told me 3 years ago that any online support group would have any benefit to me what so ever I would have...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I have to remember to "let go" when someone is doing something I don't like. I know that people are all individuals and that they can do as they wish, just as I do. When I let go of out comes, I can continue to live in this very moment instead of worrying and projecting about what "might&q...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

I need to share what is on my heart. The grief that I thought I had laid to rest has resurfaced this year. Here's my story: When my dad, due to his drinking, mental illness, and abusive behavior, became too unstable and unsafe for us to be in contact with, we cut our ties and lost touch with him for many yea...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Well the past few days have been interesting to say the least. The man that was released on Wednesday was not the man that went in their a month ago. I'm in shock. Completely. He's sweet, kind and giving. He's not starting arguements and he's asking to talk to me about things. He's been to an AA meeti...

KLotus · KLotus

Today has been very trying. I feel that if I don't reach out in times like this that I will feel isolated. So, today I spoke with my husband while at work, asking him to pick up our daughter because I may not be out in time, and it saves her the misery of having to be in 1.5 hours of traffic, which has been tou...

Gailey · Gailey

I wanted to post some of the good things that are happening in my life regarding my A son or should I really say sons. Yes, my son that is in the military and lives in Japan with his family has issues with alcohol too. I really wanted to post something so I could show off my new grandson born in Japan on 8/10 whi...

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

I'm somewhat shocked. Wait, more than somewhat. It's more like struck by lightning, but not as "fry your flesh"-ey. I've been giving all of this my all. The advice, the steps, the traditions. . . slowly (As slowly and thoughtfully as I can). I've just been given a glimmer of hope, I think, th...

Ruby · Ruby

I'm so ashamed, I just allowed my al/ad daughter and her adult son, with anger management issues and drug abuse issues, to stay at my house until her apt. is ready on the 1st. I feel so bad that I wasn't able to continue my strong stance with "No." she did agree to go to aa meeting while they are...

chinup · chinup

what my mother always told us growing up,and i feel like that lonesome sooooo lonesome and wanting of a good companion,but scared to cause of falling into a codependent one or worse a alcoholic/ addict one ,lol not much to pick from huh,but im older and wiser now and know what works and what dont and will...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi all, been a while. I have been so busy with working and bills bills bills! Just read a reminder in the blue book that its easy to forget how frantic you felt when you first came into AlAnon. When you have even a moment of serenity, its so easy to forget how frustrated and insane you felt. I know this happen...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

Sober AH has been bemoaning how much he hates AA, but he can't stop going because of how he thinks I'll treat him. He resents that he feels like he has to go (because of me, of course). I looked at him and said, "I don't give a &*%$ if you go. Go because you get something out of it, or because you enj...

Katy · Katy

Light bulb moment whoop whoop, it's that time of the month again when I thought I could be excused of myself because I usually am not at all myself, but today I can feel what I am feeling, our lad has been pressing my buttons big time, and he even tells me he is doing it as he does it, just as I begin to take the po...

Ruby · Ruby

I attempted to send a reply and closed appeared and the message wasn't sent. That was the 1st time that has happened to me, wondering if it was something I did wrong? Ruby!

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

When I'm feeling all mopey and gloomy, nothing irritates me more than a funny joke that makes me laugh when I don't want to. That being said, a coworker told me this joke last week, and it irritated me TWICE! Once when he told me right in the middle of me trying to indulge in feeling like a victim, and the...

Jennifer · Jennifer

As I mentioned in my previous post I am doing a medical treatment for the next couple weeks ... and I fully realize that I have a few thousand milligrams of steroids pumping through my brain and body right now. But my head is going to explode ... I was fine until my exAH showed up this morning to talk to me...

sirchef · sirchef

Struggle with this so much. Is there a fundamental difference between acceptance, resignation and giving up? Are they all exactly the same ? Just different in our mind set. Where we happen to be at this moment? Any thoughts?

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I lifted this quote (see below) from YFM's post. It was written by that guy up North -Tom. Well, as I grew in my recovery, I discovered the truth, and (of course) I couldn't fix anyone else, etc.... The cool thing was - Step 1 changed for me, from being "weak" to one that both empowered me, AN...

Ness · Ness

Morning all......just want to throw this around a bit....I value your support and feedback as you know.I feel change is in the air for my Ason, but what I dont know.He has been phoning off and on the last couple of weeks, just to talk to me, no demands, no poor me's, he accepts he is where he is because of his...

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

Step one . . . yep, still hung up on step one. Well, not intellectually -- in my mind I totally got it. Give up the power. Let go and let God. Half of it I have nailed. Solid as stone it fits in my soul like the last piece of an immense jigsaw puzzle. Click! True. My life has become unmanageable. That part is easy...

chinup · chinup

i dont understand how to start a date or have a date or keep it going with out letting them think im headoverheals in love at 1st site ive been dumped soo many times,it hurts,feeling unworthy and i dont know how to act i dont know how to say no and they have their way with me ,its like i feel their dominate and s...

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

Ok, so I got this contraption. It's really a spiffy, high-tech, thinga-ma-jobber. It's got whiz-bangits, and whamdoozles. So many whooza-whatsits, it's hard to know which doo-hickey activates all of its whatcha-jiggies. Alright, enough technical jargon. The really cool thing is what is DOE...

maresie · maresie

I grew up around people with no boundaries. My parents couldn't say "boo" to their relatives. Our uncles, cousins, neighbors came and stayed whenever they felt like it. One of my cousins friends came and lived with my mother for 2 years, rentfree, she fed him too. I resented the enmeshm...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I have no idea what posessed me this afternoon/this evening I have identified lately, that whenever I start to feel a bit of calmness, I go and do something to stir the pot??? I don't realise it until afterwards. I feel calm enough to have a calm discussion, so I do... it never is though!!! Well someti...

chinup · chinup

i do need some esh here cause i dont know whats healthy behavior is,ive just invited a handicapped guy to my home to stay for a week that ive been talking to on the internet on a dateing site ,ive never known what healthy is in my whole intire life when it comes to relationships all ive really learned is to st...

daisygirl · daisygirl

It has been a roller coaster ride from the beginning. I am stopping the ride and getting off for good. I have been in a relationship with my AB for just over 4 years now. I have begged, pleaded, tried to bribe, etc... for him to go to AA. He doesn't have a problem, I do! I deserve to be happy. I am not and I h...

chinup · chinup

thanx mattie,bud,crazy frog ruby and like my heart for all yalls esh and putting my head on right,this is something ive never addressed cause i never knew how ,i feel so much better now.takeing s-l-o-w-l-y is just what i needed to hear alsothis all was scareing me to death,although he is a super nice gu...

lasthope · lasthope

Other than deleting and starting over does anyone know how to change your name? Edit profile allows you to edit everything except your name. Thank you all.

Doozy · Doozy

Well, the update is I felt strong and calm from my Alanon, supportive friends, and personal growth - enough to break the ice with my roommate and let her know that the way she's treating me has really hurt my feelings. It made for a VERY difficult conversation, but that's just what we needed to get out of t...

Pushka · Pushka

I"m having a difficult time wrapping my brain around how much this whole SCRAM thing is costing financially the family. It does go straight back to the DUI. It really ticks me off that it was soooo avoidable and it does bring up past resentments. Which I am so entitled to, I just do not want to bea...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I am reading a book by John and Linda Friel called "Adult children The secrets of dysfunctional families" the last few chapters are great. Part III in particularly is speaking to me. The Denial, The Feelings, The Secrets, etc I have been doing a lot of nodding, and you know that funny so...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

Was going to post this at the end of my last weeks topic on depression but thought I would start a new one, since others might relate. Just got back to work today and saw the lovely posts from everyone. Wanted to thank you all for your words of comfort and support. I did have a really frustrating day on Fr...

Gailey · Gailey

I attended my first open AA meeting with my son on Sunday morning while the two of us shared a mother/son weekend at the beach. It was a very good meeting and I felt very welcomed. The leader came up to me outside of the meeting and thanked me for coming to support my son. She said that she wished more A's had...

Lindsayglu · Lindsayglu

How did I get here? I've been married to the same man for 33 years. He's been depressed and in treatment for about 15 and many times he self medicates with alcohol. I'm sure you've all seen the behavior, stumbling, mumbling,nasty drunk. I've tried to make excuses because of his mental illness but w...

GreenK · GreenK

Ok, I'm a relatively new member but I can honestly say that Alanon is changing and saving my life. I don't want to see meetings fall apart that could help others in need. I'm talking about hierarchial pyramid-style sponsorships, snubbing members, "grand" sponsors, (the WSO has said t...

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

Ok, there I was, reading Hawaiilover's post about the horrible meeting, mentally chewing on the words, thinking if there was any way I could relate, show support, or whatnot; meanwhile scrolling down through the responses sifting through the gems to see if there was one that shone bright for my sit...

Lyne · Lyne

My A spouse asked me if I loved her today. I said I did. I don't know if I do. I am a really honest person and it feels horrible to be dishonest. I can't feel the love anymore or right now and haven't been able to since about May. It could be that I've been too hurt, too disappointed, and lied to too many ti...

Doozy · Doozy

Thank God for Alanon! I don't know where I would be today without everything I've learned recently! I have been very challenged this weekend and am struggling a lot, but definitely doing much better than I would have in the past. I still see my A-exBF's children once in a while. We became very close ove...

Doozy · Doozy

This is pretty LONG, but it makes me feel better to write this out and share. Thank you for giving me a safe, supportive space for this! Well, I posted a few days ago that I had asked my friend and roommate to move out. We're both young, single professionals and it's tough to find a place to rent on your own a...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am feeling like I realize now I am powerless... and I go back to step 1 every day... but that yes, I am realizing that a power greater than me can restore me to sanity. I listened to a Mary Pearl pod cast in the bath tub last night. Well she was on the lap top, I was in the tub :) LOL... Anyway, it was amazing...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The D Word (Preview) Well, I finally brought out the D word today....Divorce. The craziest part to me is that I really mean it. Either things take a dramatic change in the next week or two or I want out. Yes, I know that I cannot control my AH, but I can control how much I let myself be affected by all of this, and staying in a marri...	kay115	11	701	Aug 21, 2011 by Aloha
	Coming out of Lurkdom - an introduction - and gratitude (Preview) Hello all, I've been lurking so to speak since April. My geographical circumstances changed temporarily then and I was no longer able to get to my long loved face to face meetings. So that's how I found MIP. I just wanted to say hello and let you all know that, since May, every morning when I wake, I grab...	Betsy B	9	668	Aug 21, 2011 by hotrod
	Dreams..A sign? (Preview) I just have to share this...For months I have been asking God to send me a sign that what I am doing is right, to lead me in the right direction, to help me understand and be compassionate to my AH, to even send me a dream that I am not crazy and I am allowing him to do his will. I think my sign has come!! haha I ask...	odalis	1	447	Aug 21, 2011 by Jerry F
	Wife is an alcoholic (Preview) Not really sure how to start this. Definitely have been an enabler by trying to deny there is a problem or being scared to confront the problem (or any number of other excuses). I accidently stumbled into an AA meeting about 2 years ago and realized at that point that my wife is not only an alcoholic but...	pen	11	668	Aug 21, 2011 by pen
	responding to outsider's comments (Preview) Hi all. I hope everyone is doing well tonight. I have a question about responding to outsider's comments. By that I mean people who kinda know me, but who I am not friendly with and know nothing about. they are aquaintances, neighbors, etc. One guy is the one who works at the corner store. Way back when I...	odalis	7	557	Aug 21, 2011 by maryjane
	last evening! (Preview) I went out for a meal with a friend from a now disfunct face to face, one of my non alanon friends is just going through a real sad crisis, her happy marriage of thirty years has been blown apart, by infedilitey on her husbands part, this friend has been through thick and thin with me, and I would go as far as...	Katy	4	494	Aug 21, 2011 by sookie
	I woke up smiling... whats that all about (Preview) HI guys For many years I have hated mornings..... I often wake with a feeling of dread and anxiety and hate who I am. I wake up feeling fat and ugly and generally angry for just waking up!!!! I recently have been doing lots of work on this about the last 5 months. I have been looking into why. I think one o...	Lindaoakford	8	409	Aug 21, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	just something funny--I hope it is OK (Preview) There were children in a cafeteria line. The nun put a note on the apples--don't eat more than one; God is watching! A kid put a note on the cookies--eat all you want, God is watching the Apples! I got a kick out of this one! I hope you got a good laugh! Kathleen By the way, I shortened the joke!	Hoot Nanny	5	383	Aug 20, 2011 by Debilyn
	still hanging in there! (Preview) I am still hangin' in as I try to make some sense of my life. I am getting better at getting over my past but have moments; many of them where I am not sure! I keep the focus on me as much as possible. Yesterday I realized that I really have no one to answer to except myself & that the responsibility reside...	Hoot Nanny	2	522	Aug 20, 2011 by Sincerely
	Being with a verbally mean drinker - double whammy? (Preview) Ok,I will just type it out and not think too much or over complicate my confusion. I don't know if this will make much sense given my brain today. For those in relationship with a drinker who is also verbally mean, critical, and dismissive, does it represent a double whammy? Does anyone else fantasi...	GreenK	18	1105	Aug 20, 2011 by Lindsayglu
	Lois Remembers? other books? (Preview) Has anyone ever read her book? I saw it on amazon and I was wondering what it was like. Also what about any other obscure alanon titles I may find there? I already have "As we understood..." which I love! Is the Dilema of the alcoholic marriage a good read? Also any other great speakers t...	youfoundme	5	2091	Aug 20, 2011 by Pushka
	AH livid after I get back from f2f meeting (Preview) ok, so my 15 year old has her friend over, and the 7 year old does too. They are playing Wii, AH was drinking, and I tell everyone I am going out be back in a little while. AH was on teh phone during this so he was not paying attention. I turned my phone volume all the way down to not be interrupted during the meet...	odalis	5	593	Aug 20, 2011 by youfoundme
	Sunday night meeting (Preview) I'm still having computer as well as financial problems, so don't have access to my OP scripts for Sunday nights meeting and will be unable to chair the meeting. I hope someone will step up to the post and chair for me. The meeting is at 6 p.m. EST Sunday evening and usually runs for an hour and a half. Thank...	Overcome	0	386	Aug 20, 2011 by Overcome
	Sunday night's meeting (Preview) hi MIP family! My computer went down this morning and it is in the shop. I need someone to cover for me for Sunday nights meeting (OP's). I will come back in Saturday to the library and check to make sure it is covered, but I can't run a meeting from the library! lol Because of anonomity. I will hopefully hav...	Overcome	2	307	Aug 20, 2011 by Overcome
	drowning man sucking me in, help (Preview) Hey everybody, Just wanted you to know that I don't have a sponsor of f2f close-ish connections yet, so I'm writing here. I do have some wise friends and a counselor, but any input would be invaluable! This weekend I planned a loose ultimatum w/my RA. Basically to take his meds regularly, take care o...	rara avis	10	680	Aug 20, 2011 by rara avis
	Words can create abuse just like fists (Preview) It's been a few months since my A-BF broke up with me for what seems to be the 1000th time. I have gone through feelings of anxiety, saddness, betrayal, anger, and frustration. We broke up for a year and a half the first time. He was on his sixth step in AA when we got back together he had been sober from al...	parfait624	14	708	Aug 19, 2011 by linbaba
	Taking a minute here instead of blowing up (Preview) I took some time to read some posts and replies and I'm already calming down. I was headed in a very bad direction about an hour ago and was in a pretty bad state of mind but I was able to pay attention to my thoughts. They were, "Really? Is this all there is? Are you kidding me?" And, "Wh...	GreenK	3	429	Aug 19, 2011 by GreenK
	how quickly I go backward-venting (Preview) I am frustrated with myself for slipping. Or maybe I am just frustrated. I just need to vent so stop reading if you arent up to hearing my venting! I was doing so well with focusing on self, not taking it personally, and staying centered. Then the AH had a couple days of interrogating me and then sile...	oldgraduate	7	370	Aug 19, 2011 by Pushka
	Just Breath... (Preview) I have to remember to just breath today.......cause things have been great. My life has been great. Things with my new wonderful boyfriend are beyond my wildest dreams of what a man could be. Me....I'm stronger, Better, but I'm still a work in progress. I started to see a counselor about the speci...	mslouise	6	388	Aug 19, 2011 by hotrod
	hope (Preview) Since we had such fun with acceptence here's another one Ican't get past. Hope we all need it to get through this mess. But isn't hope just another projection of our idea of reality? Or do we really just hope for something other than present reality and take what ever that may be? Is hope a projection?...	sirchef	8	514	Aug 19, 2011 by abbyal
	peeling paint (Preview) STrange title but I never know what to call things. I had a moment yesterday where I realised that alot of my thinking is certainly 'past' based. I had a birthday banner up for a party that I had in April. Didn't want it taken down as I liked it. It was strung up withsticky tape between two poles which are c...	Lindaoakford	5	789	Aug 19, 2011 by pinkchip
	Reaping the benefits of our online message board and online meetings (Preview) I know I don't post to often although I love reading the posts and reply (causiously lol) when I think I may have something to offer and I attend our morning meetings on a daily basis. Should someone have told me 3 years ago that any online support group would have any benefit to me what so ever I would have...	xeno59	7	491	Aug 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	Let go... (Preview) I have to remember to "let go" when someone is doing something I don't like. I know that people are all individuals and that they can do as they wish, just as I do. When I let go of out comes, I can continue to live in this very moment instead of worrying and projecting about what "might&q...	youfoundme	6	491	Aug 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	Grieving (Preview) I need to share what is on my heart. The grief that I thought I had laid to rest has resurfaced this year. Here's my story: When my dad, due to his drinking, mental illness, and abusive behavior, became too unstable and unsafe for us to be in contact with, we cut our ties and lost touch with him for many yea...	BlueCloud	8	598	Aug 19, 2011 by xeno59
	A little update.... (Preview) Well the past few days have been interesting to say the least. The man that was released on Wednesday was not the man that went in their a month ago. I'm in shock. Completely. He's sweet, kind and giving. He's not starting arguements and he's asking to talk to me about things. He's been to an AA meeti...	ELEKTRAWMN	8	483	Aug 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	Afraid (Preview) Today has been very trying. I feel that if I don't reach out in times like this that I will feel isolated. So, today I spoke with my husband while at work, asking him to pick up our daughter because I may not be out in time, and it saves her the misery of having to be in 1.5 hours of traffic, which has been tou...	KLotus	19	765	Aug 19, 2011 by Ness
	feeling good about things for a change (Preview) I wanted to post some of the good things that are happening in my life regarding my A son or should I really say sons. Yes, my son that is in the military and lives in Japan with his family has issues with alcohol too. I really wanted to post something so I could show off my new grandson born in Japan on 8/10 whi...	Gailey	6	477	Aug 19, 2011 by hotrod
	Could it be? (Preview) I'm somewhat shocked. Wait, more than somewhat. It's more like struck by lightning, but not as "fry your flesh"-ey. I've been giving all of this my all. The advice, the steps, the traditions. . . slowly (As slowly and thoughtfully as I can). I've just been given a glimmer of hope, I think, th...	Superhero No More	4	489	Aug 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	I just relapsed, help!!! (Preview) I'm so ashamed, I just allowed my al/ad daughter and her adult son, with anger management issues and drug abuse issues, to stay at my house until her apt. is ready on the 1st. I feel so bad that I wasn't able to continue my strong stance with "No." she did agree to go to aa meeting while they are...	Ruby	8	594	Aug 18, 2011 by Ruby
	lonesomeness will eat u up and spit u out at the same time (Preview) what my mother always told us growing up,and i feel like that lonesome sooooo lonesome and wanting of a good companion,but scared to cause of falling into a codependent one or worse a alcoholic/ addict one ,lol not much to pick from huh,but im older and wiser now and know what works and what dont and will...	chinup	4	430	Aug 18, 2011 by Pushka
	Newcomers (Preview) Hi all, been a while. I have been so busy with working and bills bills bills! Just read a reminder in the blue book that its easy to forget how frantic you felt when you first came into AlAnon. When you have even a moment of serenity, its so easy to forget how frustrated and insane you felt. I know this happen...	Corgi2	3	534	Aug 18, 2011 by MrsHennepope
	Got one right! (Preview) Sober AH has been bemoaning how much he hates AA, but he can't stop going because of how he thinks I'll treat him. He resents that he feels like he has to go (because of me, of course). I looked at him and said, "I don't give a &*%$ if you go. Go because you get something out of it, or because you enj...	Hot Chicka	2	390	Aug 18, 2011 by xeno59
	self awareness, who me? (Preview) Light bulb moment whoop whoop, it's that time of the month again when I thought I could be excused of myself because I usually am not at all myself, but today I can feel what I am feeling, our lad has been pressing my buttons big time, and he even tells me he is doing it as he does it, just as I begin to take the po...	Katy	3	864	Aug 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	unable to submit reply (Preview) I attempted to send a reply and closed appeared and the message wasn't sent. That was the 1st time that has happened to me, wondering if it was something I did wrong? Ruby!	Ruby	2	394	Aug 18, 2011 by abbyal
	Need a Boost? (Preview) When I'm feeling all mopey and gloomy, nothing irritates me more than a funny joke that makes me laugh when I don't want to. That being said, a coworker told me this joke last week, and it irritated me TWICE! Once when he told me right in the middle of me trying to indulge in feeling like a victim, and the...	Superhero No More	5	435	Aug 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	Nowhere else to go with this at the moment (Preview) As I mentioned in my previous post I am doing a medical treatment for the next couple weeks ... and I fully realize that I have a few thousand milligrams of steroids pumping through my brain and body right now. But my head is going to explode ... I was fine until my exAH showed up this morning to talk to me...	Jennifer	7	425	Aug 18, 2011 by Ness
	acceptance (Preview) Struggle with this so much. Is there a fundamental difference between acceptance, resignation and giving up? Are they all exactly the same ? Just different in our mind set. Where we happen to be at this moment? Any thoughts?	sirchef	11	1341	Aug 18, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Twisted Thinking - Phew! Caught it In time! (Preview) I lifted this quote (see below) from YFM's post. It was written by that guy up North -Tom. Well, as I grew in my recovery, I discovered the truth, and (of course) I couldn't fix anyone else, etc.... The cool thing was - Step 1 changed for me, from being "weak" to one that both empowered me, AN...	GailMichelle	9	490	Aug 18, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Sick & tired, change is in the air.....but what? (Preview) Morning all......just want to throw this around a bit....I value your support and feedback as you know.I feel change is in the air for my Ason, but what I dont know.He has been phoning off and on the last couple of weeks, just to talk to me, no demands, no poor me's, he accepts he is where he is because of his...	Ness	8	462	Aug 18, 2011 by Ness
	Rambling on while sitting still (Preview) Step one . . . yep, still hung up on step one. Well, not intellectually -- in my mind I totally got it. Give up the power. Let go and let God. Half of it I have nailed. Solid as stone it fits in my soul like the last piece of an immense jigsaw puzzle. Click! True. My life has become unmanageable. That part is easy...	Superhero No More	11	431	Aug 18, 2011 by likemyheart
	jumping in feet 1st,and uhaul next (Preview) i dont understand how to start a date or have a date or keep it going with out letting them think im headoverheals in love at 1st site ive been dumped soo many times,it hurts,feeling unworthy and i dont know how to act i dont know how to say no and they have their way with me ,its like i feel their dominate and s...	chinup	8	636	Aug 18, 2011 by likemyheart
	My Contraption (Preview) Ok, so I got this contraption. It's really a spiffy, high-tech, thinga-ma-jobber. It's got whiz-bangits, and whamdoozles. So many whooza-whatsits, it's hard to know which doo-hickey activates all of its whatcha-jiggies. Alright, enough technical jargon. The really cool thing is what is DOE...	Superhero No More	5	545	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	boundaries sadness is progress (Preview) I grew up around people with no boundaries. My parents couldn't say "boo" to their relatives. Our uncles, cousins, neighbors came and stayed whenever they felt like it. One of my cousins friends came and lived with my mother for 2 years, rentfree, she fed him too. I resented the enmeshm...	maresie	5	615	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Not sure what to call this (Preview) I have no idea what posessed me this afternoon/this evening I have identified lately, that whenever I start to feel a bit of calmness, I go and do something to stir the pot??? I don't realise it until afterwards. I feel calm enough to have a calm discussion, so I do... it never is though!!! Well someti...	Lindaoakford	6	470	Aug 17, 2011 by oldergal
	disfunctional behavior (Preview) i do need some esh here cause i dont know whats healthy behavior is,ive just invited a handicapped guy to my home to stay for a week that ive been talking to on the internet on a dateing site ,ive never known what healthy is in my whole intire life when it comes to relationships all ive really learned is to st...	chinup	6	602	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Codependent no more! (Preview) It has been a roller coaster ride from the beginning. I am stopping the ride and getting off for good. I have been in a relationship with my AB for just over 4 years now. I have begged, pleaded, tried to bribe, etc... for him to go to AA. He doesn't have a problem, I do! I deserve to be happy. I am not and I h...	daisygirl	4	2816	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	thanx for all the esh on dateing,with jumping in both feet 1st (closed) (Preview) thanx mattie,bud,crazy frog ruby and like my heart for all yalls esh and putting my head on right,this is something ive never addressed cause i never knew how ,i feel so much better now.takeing s-l-o-w-l-y is just what i needed to hear alsothis all was scareing me to death,although he is a super nice gu...	chinup	1	483	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Does anyone know how to change your name? (Preview) Other than deleting and starting over does anyone know how to change your name? Edit profile allows you to edit everything except your name. Thank you all.	lasthope	2	303	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Update and new Definition of Addiction (Preview) Well, the update is I felt strong and calm from my Alanon, supportive friends, and personal growth - enough to break the ice with my roommate and let her know that the way she's treating me has really hurt my feelings. It made for a VERY difficult conversation, but that's just what we needed to get out of t...	Doozy	12	856	Aug 17, 2011 by DadtoCandE
	Crabby .. (Preview) I"m having a difficult time wrapping my brain around how much this whole SCRAM thing is costing financially the family. It does go straight back to the DUI. It really ticks me off that it was soooo avoidable and it does bring up past resentments. Which I am so entitled to, I just do not want to bea...	Pushka	5	686	Aug 17, 2011 by Pushka
	reading a book and rang about meetings (Preview) Hi I am reading a book by John and Linda Friel called "Adult children The secrets of dysfunctional families" the last few chapters are great. Part III in particularly is speaking to me. The Denial, The Feelings, The Secrets, etc I have been doing a lot of nodding, and you know that funny so...	Lindaoakford	3	302	Aug 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	Fluctuate between Feelings of Depression and Anxiety (Preview) Was going to post this at the end of my last weeks topic on depression but thought I would start a new one, since others might relate. Just got back to work today and saw the lovely posts from everyone. Wanted to thank you all for your words of comfort and support. I did have a really frustrating day on Fr...	oldgraduate	9	767	Aug 17, 2011 by oldgraduate
	my first AA meeting (Preview) I attended my first open AA meeting with my son on Sunday morning while the two of us shared a mother/son weekend at the beach. It was a very good meeting and I felt very welcomed. The leader came up to me outside of the meeting and thanked me for coming to support my son. She said that she wished more A's had...	Gailey	10	563	Aug 17, 2011 by NovSun
	I know I'm smart but I'm feeling stupid (Preview) How did I get here? I've been married to the same man for 33 years. He's been depressed and in treatment for about 15 and many times he self medicates with alcohol. I'm sure you've all seen the behavior, stumbling, mumbling,nasty drunk. I've tried to make excuses because of his mental illness but w...	Lindsayglu	6	629	Aug 17, 2011 by Lindsayglu
	Shenanigans at Alanon meetings (Preview) Ok, I'm a relatively new member but I can honestly say that Alanon is changing and saving my life. I don't want to see meetings fall apart that could help others in need. I'm talking about hierarchial pyramid-style sponsorships, snubbing members, "grand" sponsors, (the WSO has said t...	GreenK	13	2294	Aug 17, 2011 by GreenK
	Dinner Time for My Soul (Preview) Ok, there I was, reading Hawaiilover's post about the horrible meeting, mentally chewing on the words, thinking if there was any way I could relate, show support, or whatnot; meanwhile scrolling down through the responses sifting through the gems to see if there was one that shone bright for my sit...	Superhero No More	6	491	Aug 17, 2011 by youfoundme
	I lied today (Preview) My A spouse asked me if I loved her today. I said I did. I don't know if I do. I am a really honest person and it feels horrible to be dishonest. I can't feel the love anymore or right now and haven't been able to since about May. It could be that I've been too hurt, too disappointed, and lied to too many ti...	Lyne	9	615	Aug 17, 2011 by Jerry F
	Working it hard as I can today! (Preview) Thank God for Alanon! I don't know where I would be today without everything I've learned recently! I have been very challenged this weekend and am struggling a lot, but definitely doing much better than I would have in the past. I still see my A-exBF's children once in a while. We became very close ove...	Doozy	3	449	Aug 16, 2011 by Doozy
	Asked roommate to move out (Preview) This is pretty LONG, but it makes me feel better to write this out and share. Thank you for giving me a safe, supportive space for this! Well, I posted a few days ago that I had asked my friend and roommate to move out. We're both young, single professionals and it's tough to find a place to rent on your own a...	Doozy	4	714	Aug 16, 2011 by Doozy
	Accepting me for me (Preview) I am feeling like I realize now I am powerless... and I go back to step 1 every day... but that yes, I am realizing that a power greater than me can restore me to sanity. I listened to a Mary Pearl pod cast in the bath tub last night. Well she was on the lap top, I was in the tub :) LOL... Anyway, it was amazing...	youfoundme	8	534	Aug 16, 2011 by Doozy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.