Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Ruby · Ruby

Hello! not sure if this board is active, but I need some help on step 4. Thanks!

PrincessPeriwinkle · PrincessPeriwinkle

My son is taking on the characteristics of an alcoholic without the alcohol. He has been married six years, and the last two years has been with a full-blown alconolic. She has spent two stints in rehab, leaving both times before the end of the program, and is now supposedly going into rehab a third ti...

MDK · MDK

Things have been really tense lately at home. My husband is out of work and it has put a little stress on me. He has been on a binge and is starting come off of it. It concerns me and when he comes off of his binge then I can confront him in a non confrontational way. I had slipped back a little bit. Not sleeping a...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... I have been Read Read Reading Here of Late and I have to say it has opened new Doors... I have been Reading the Story of Lois W.(One of the Founders of Al-Anon) . It is an Amazing story of her Life with Bill W. ... I Love to hear Quotes "From Her" and in her Quote/statements or comments she m...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

On the 13 September, my husband and I fly out to my family of origin for holidays. I am most 'concerned' about the time with my sister. My sister is 10 years older than me and is far worse than me when it comes to emotional manipulation. Cutting a long story short, she is an amphetamine addict who says she is...

kitty · kitty

When I landed in program I thought I had absolutely no choices. I began to realize that every single thought I entertained, every reaction, feeling -- they were all choices of mine to make. I saw that if I did X and was left feeling Y (heh, "why") then that was very bad for me and fed my incredi...

CUrbs83 · CUrbs83

Wednesdays are hard...they're my day off and I have time to think. They're also the days I have individual counseling. I'm having a hard time learning how to detach. Finding out that my alcoholic bf whom I have been with for a year and a half, 5 months sober, cheated on me last Christmas, you'd think I...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Ok so here's the story: Yesterday I read that great page in ODAAT for Sept. 6th. I gained a new perspective from that. I was able to hold onto it all day. Spoke with my sponsor and another Alanon friend through texts and messages. I am glad I read that page because I may not have had such an easy time las...

rosielee · rosielee

ive got about 40 years worth of venting to do, so please be aware my mum probably isnt as bad as I make out as i am focussing on her faults and BPD at the moment- she s a generous caring individual who is geneuinely sick anyway--- like i said- i do need to vent- she has been sober for last 20 years- but to be hone...

MrsHennepope · MrsHennepope

I had a good couple weeks with my AH.I allowed him to do his thing,with no nagging,while I tried to take care of me.We were enjoying each others company alot.....till today. I had to go to the city to take care of some errands and he stayed at home.When I was at the cash paying for some items I heard my cell r...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am handing over all my frustrations to my HP, who can better handle my worries than I. I am turning off the computer and taking a looong hoooot soak in the tub and won't be back for a looong time! I am working on relaxation and self care tonight and am going to embrace it fully! I hope everyone is doing well...

stephaniej · stephaniej

We finally had our internet access set up last week; it was tough going a month without home-based internet access, but I survived. I am struggling mightily right now. Losing my job has left me directionless. I had been doing so well detaching from my AH, but over the past month I have backslid trem...

KLotus · KLotus

Today's "Courage to Change" addressed priorities, and daily focus. I find it interesting that I was thinking about this very thing this morning. I want to be able to function, perhaps someday be happy in my own life. I had another appmt with employee services. The counselor there has...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I am not going to be able to make it to my Alanon home meeting on time tonight due to another obligation. There is an open AA meeting near my home that starts an hour later, so I would be able to make it there in time. I am interested in seeing what it's like on the "other side of the pond" and hoping t...

mgh · mgh

my husband has been sober for 10 years and i have just discovered that he is acting out sexually he blames me for being distant and removed since the birth of my grandchildren can my behavior lead to his acting out

pinkchip · pinkchip

While I am an alcoholic, there is so much to this alanon program that keeps me coming back to the boards. I do need to learn to detach and stop controlling others. I need to learn that I am powerless over people. I need to stop being controlling, nagging, and bitter. I need to turn the focus on me. Now t...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi Everyone, I have been posting over the past two months how my ABF had slipped after 9 months sober having been in rehab for 6 and a dry house for 3. I just got myself out of the way and he moved in with his sister. I have tried to work on myself doing ore meetings etc. He text me last night saying he is going...

maresie · maresie

Today I had an issue at work which I had once before in April of this year. I am not feeling too well. I am doing better than I was but I still feel pretty pushed up against a brick wall. I immediately went into panic, over reaction and then catastophe and of course I went into feeling upset, annoyed, isola...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI I often feel like I say all bad things about my husband. I wanted to say some good things about him and put some positive vibes out there. He is a very good man in my opinion. He works hard and brings in the paychecks every week, as do I. He is very complimentary on my skills to do the budget and give us a goo...

winnie · winnie

i have a question that may seem a little unusual...ok, maybe it's just fear, but nonetheless i'm not sure how to approach this. i know f2f meetings would be good for me, however, i have a bit of a conflict of interest. in my line of work, i deal with many, many people in recovery (isn't there an old sayin...

winnie · winnie

i just feel horrible. i'm so angry at my ah that i find myself yelling at my kids...and they start school tomorrow! i don't want them to feel more anxious than they already may be feeling. they're so little...5 and 7. i feel so guilty. but sometimes i'm just screaming inside my head with the feelin...

Jennifer · Jennifer

In the morning I am going on my very first fourth date to have breakfast. That seems really strange considering I had a 6 year high school relationship, an 11 year marriage/relationship, and 2 other year or so relationships in my life. Being honest though each of those relationships never had fourth...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

After talking to my dh and doing some serious introspection, I have realized that I am out of control with fear and anxiety. I am placing expectations on him, I am holding him to MY standards and then getting mad when my standard gets broken, I am fearful of what may happen even though it hasn't. I have a...

Pushka · Pushka

I am so grateful for the support the board has provided during this time. Thank you for your prayers. It was peaceful, and she went because her body was tired and it was just time. Thank you again. P :)

youfoundme · youfoundme

"I will not interfere with the activities of the alcoholic, or watch over him, counsel him, or assume his responsibilities. He must have the same freedom to make his own decisions as I have, since he must suffer for them if they are wrong." And then: "Teach me to leave to others their...

pineapple · pineapple

A few months ago my a and I separated as much as possible while still living on the same property. He has his place and I have mine. We occasionally run into each other in the shared kitchen, or out on the patio but mostly he stays in his place and drinks. He offered to make dinner for both of us last night (he...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

After suffering for over 24 hrs. w/ a broken filling, I got it fixed on Friday! It was the back one on the bottom right. My tongue was scraping against it for all that time. I could barely talk & eating & drinking were almost out of the question! But, thanks to my God of my understanding it got fille...

kael1539 · kael1539

My AH is in AA and is currently 30 days out from his last relapse. He has tried to quit drinking for the past two years, had several relapses but is trying to stop drinking. My current problem is that he is very hateful and angry all the time. I saw him relaxed and happy for a couple days during an inpati...

on a rollercoaster · on a rollercoaster

Hi. I'm new here. I just went to an al-anon meeting for the first time last Thurs. It was nice and I think it will help me...but it might take me forever to feel better and try to heal form the harsh reality that I have an alcoholic husband. He has FINALLY admitted he has an issue with it, but still doesn't thi...

Eliza · Eliza

My husband has been sober for 5yrs and has always been angry and irritable. He refuses counseling or AA. Is there hope that he may change with working on recovery? Is this a symptom of the being a dry drunk? I welcome any feedback.

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, So sorry to bogart the forum, but it really is getting down to the wire. Some ESH would be really helpful. Anyone here have ESH on giving a final ultimatum? Basically, I am done. Done. I've planned to leave my boyfriend and tell him to move out this next weekend. My RA's best pal said I sh...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So here it is .. my last night out of town with my primary alcoholic's family .. this truly has been Such a trip .. at this point i'm hoping to make it back on my way out of this town and safely back to my home town .. I made a decision to stay home from a family outting today and knew it would make the addicts a litt...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Really pleased to announce that we have a new Board Moderator, effective immediately..... Hotrod (Betty) is back from vacation, and has agreed to become a Moderator, and I am thrilled to have the help. She has been a valuable member of our family for a long time on MIP, and will be a valuable addi...

keiker · keiker

I don't even know where to start... I am so worried about my father. I am 33 years old and do not live with him.... In the last year or so he has become an alcoholic. It is so hard to believe it since before last year he hardly ever had a drink. His drink of choice is crown and 7. He has become emotionaly...

odalis · odalis

My AH and I had a wonderful day. We took our dog to the park, talked about things other than his problem, and went to eat ice cream with the kids. Yesterday he told me he had been hiding his rum but hasn't bought any in the past month. Good for him, I am really proud of him for that and told him so. Then he says he'...

tommyecat · tommyecat

The other night I was meeting with a sponsee whom I meet with weekly at a coffee shop to guide them through step 4. I was running a few minutes late and was anxious to get there. As I get closer to the place I see an open parking spot in front which is nothing short of a miracle. I was about to pull in when I no...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

One day left to go and then i return to my home state .. I have watched the primary alcoholic in my life flip his last switch .. i'm just too tired and angry to watch anymore but i'm not really angry and tired with him .. i'm angry and tired with myself .. the lies i've told myself to survive .. the ones like .. he...

nicjon · nicjon

I left my husband 3 years ago and in the past 19 months that we've been back together his drinking has escalated to alcoholism. He was an alcoholic before I met him but was sober for 7 years (he did relapse a few times in that time period but was always able to pull himself together and stop). Now he is drinki...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys I can't help but get my hopes up at the moment and enjoying the current 'good' feeling and I am tempering it with the reality of 'this too shall pass'. Yesterday, my husband went fishing with his mate who also smokes pot. I detached for the day. I didnt test in the hope that when he gets reception h...

elizabethcontreras · elizabethcontreras

Hello Everyone, I am going to my first Al-Anon meeting tomorrow. I am having some super high anxiety, trying to cope through my work week as chipper as possible and keep good face with my friends. I have been going on outings with friends just trying to keep my mind at ease and positive, but I guess I shou...

msgadget6905 · msgadget6905

Some members of my AFG are starting a Step Group. None of us has ever participated in one before. I need some pointers on starting and running a 12 Step Group. Are there guidelines available? Discussion questions? Any help will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Katy · Katy

Typo there, but I think it means when something happens opposite to what you expsected, Alanon has taught me this, and it's helped me to see that the things that I thought were my defects can actually be my assets, I just have to twiggle them a little bit is all, I spent a huge huge part of my life feeling wor...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi Everyone, I have not been myself lately my A is out there after 9 months sober he has been going down fast for about 2 months ( it was the anniversary yesterday of him going into rehab I was very sad. I am not watching detaching from it unless he goes back to AA. My mother turns up yesterday she was very str...

Dufferin · Dufferin

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disulfiram My husband's doctor just prescribed this, he's going to start on Tuesday. It sounds like a miracle pill - just start taking it, no side effects, and stop drinking! Ta da! I'm a bit...not suspicious, exactly, just not sure. It just sounds too good to be true...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I am happy to say I am no longer attached to an IV bag and am on the upswing part of my treatment cycle. It is very nice to feel that my thoughts and actions are more me than influenced by steroids. It is a creepy feeling almost like having another person living inside your mind and has once again given me a bit...

Pushka · Pushka

We had been talking yesterday I believe about feeling overwhelmed by things in our life, trying to do it all with a flare for procrastination (A LARGE ONE .. lol), and I had a good lesson last night. LOL! Anyway, I always joke and say, I'm a goddess, just not a domesticated one. Yes in my younger years,...

littlemotel · littlemotel

My AH said he would stop drinking, I want to believe him but I can't. I feel like I am just waiting for the ball to drop. Is this part of letting go? I know he is going to do whatever he chooses to do & I suppose I am ok by that. I've set my boundaries with him. I just don't want to be blindsided or too pos...

clep · clep

My sister as some of you know has been living with me for a few months. She has not been very driven to get a job and has not taken the apprenticeship she has been offered. I have let her know already she has to pay rent to live here and have given her the amount. I told her a month and a half ago. The date was y...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

As time goes by, I'm seeing more and more examples of how I turn the focus on everyone in my life but myself. I'm encouraged that I'm at least aware of it, but I'm worried about how I'm ultimately going to stop doing it. My wife & I have 2 kids, ages 4 & 2. They are great kids, but as with most kids this a...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have been working 4 part time jobs all Summer long, I slow down work wise this Fall just because that is how the work comes and goes where I live. And I know I will make it another couple weeks. I am still reading my daily reader's which keep my attitude good and at night I am reading a book written by my spons...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey wonderful people! I know none of you are mind readers, but any ESH would be appreciated!!! Long story short, I've had enough w/my beloved RA, he didn't seem to pay attention to his self care or to my basic needs, things which I told him had to change. I made extensive plans to get out and kick him out...

glad lee · glad lee

Detachment doesn't mean denying compassion. Approaching life with detachment may seem cold at first. We are accustomed to offering lots of help to other people. Thus the first few times we back off from what has become our natural inclination - we feel uncomfortable. Through this program we are lea...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I am in a quandary this morning As I have been keeping to myself and reading and trying to change my anxious and controlling behavior,(and codependence) my AH has upped the ante and been acting out even more than before. Is this a common pattern? His behavior is so disrespectful of me that I dont know...

Pushka · Pushka

Went to another wonderful open speaker AA meeting and I have to say this is on my rotation of meetings. They are just terrific! I really encourage anyone to go to a meeting to see the other side of the coin. It is like being at an alanon meeting and hearing your own story through someone else. Listenin...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. I have no idea why a little cell phone or any regular phone becomes the size of an elephant and just as heavy when I have to ask for help on anything. Doesn't matter what it is, something simple to something difficult the idea of rejection just sizzles me to the core and I become very afraid. I hit a ma...

bonobo · bonobo

Hi there, I have been an al anon member for about 3 years, and am currently working the steps with my sponsor. For the next month I'm travelling for work, and my sponsor is sick with her own issues anyway, so I am very glad I found this message board! I just want to share something that happened to me last wee...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I'm not in town at the moment and can't make it to my meetings .. I am in another state with my adolescent daughter visiting my alcoholic's family members and so far things have gone ok .. with all things considered .. in fact they've gone (up to this point) better than i'd expected .. only by the grace of hi...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I had an interesting conversation with my grown daughter yesterday. Background, I have been having bouts of high Blood Pressure over the past few months. I know they are related to my stress with my spouse. I feel it go up if we fight and when I lose sleep due to issues we are having. I finally went to t...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, I just realised that I have been feeling some strange vibes from my AH recently, when I happen to be writing on this site/on the computer. He has read my journal before, and would not be opposed to finding and reading my posts - and, believe me, he could figure out which are mine. Is there an...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp.... Currently My Life has Started to breathe a New Way of Living, and it is Non Stop- Balls to the Wall- Wide Open... I Have so Much To be Thankful for, So Much to be Grateful for, and yet still have these desires to just Disappear sometimes and Hide from it all... My Sons Schedule went from 3 days a week...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Help! (closed) (Preview) Hello! not sure if this board is active, but I need some help on step 4. Thanks!	Ruby	1	560	Sep 9, 2011 by canadianguy
	How to respons to my son (Preview) My son is taking on the characteristics of an alcoholic without the alcohol. He has been married six years, and the last two years has been with a full-blown alconolic. She has spent two stints in rehab, leaving both times before the end of the program, and is now supposedly going into rehab a third ti...	PrincessPeriwinkle	10	585	Sep 9, 2011 by PrincessPeriwinkle
	I'm BAAAAACK!!! :) (Preview) Things have been really tense lately at home. My husband is out of work and it has put a little stress on me. He has been on a binge and is starting come off of it. It concerns me and when he comes off of his binge then I can confront him in a non confrontational way. I had slipped back a little bit. Not sleeping a...	MDK	5	613	Sep 9, 2011 by MDK
	Gettin Help from those b4 Me :) (Preview) Welp... I have been Read Read Reading Here of Late and I have to say it has opened new Doors... I have been Reading the Story of Lois W.(One of the Founders of Al-Anon) . It is an Amazing story of her Life with Bill W. ... I Love to hear Quotes "From Her" and in her Quote/statements or comments she m...	Jozie	6	736	Sep 9, 2011 by youfoundme
	visit to my Family of Origin coming up (Preview) On the 13 September, my husband and I fly out to my family of origin for holidays. I am most 'concerned' about the time with my sister. My sister is 10 years older than me and is far worse than me when it comes to emotional manipulation. Cutting a long story short, she is an amphetamine addict who says she is...	Lindaoakford	8	702	Sep 9, 2011 by Debilyn
	Choices (Preview) When I landed in program I thought I had absolutely no choices. I began to realize that every single thought I entertained, every reaction, feeling -- they were all choices of mine to make. I saw that if I did X and was left feeling Y (heh, "why") then that was very bad for me and fed my incredi...	kitty	12	1202	Sep 9, 2011 by Christy
	Feeling Trapped (Preview) Wednesdays are hard...they're my day off and I have time to think. They're also the days I have individual counseling. I'm having a hard time learning how to detach. Finding out that my alcoholic bf whom I have been with for a year and a half, 5 months sober, cheated on me last Christmas, you'd think I...	CUrbs83	13	818	Sep 8, 2011 by pinkchip
	On not reacting and other such things (Preview) Ok so here's the story: Yesterday I read that great page in ODAAT for Sept. 6th. I gained a new perspective from that. I was able to hold onto it all day. Spoke with my sponsor and another Alanon friend through texts and messages. I am glad I read that page because I may not have had such an easy time las...	youfoundme	17	743	Sep 8, 2011 by maresie
	adult with a mum with BPD (and a sober alcoholic) (Preview) ive got about 40 years worth of venting to do, so please be aware my mum probably isnt as bad as I make out as i am focussing on her faults and BPD at the moment- she s a generous caring individual who is geneuinely sick anyway--- like i said- i do need to vent- she has been sober for last 20 years- but to be hone...	rosielee	6	1710	Sep 8, 2011 by rosielee
	Sober=crabby!!! (Preview) I had a good couple weeks with my AH.I allowed him to do his thing,with no nagging,while I tried to take care of me.We were enjoying each others company alot.....till today. I had to go to the city to take care of some errands and he stayed at home.When I was at the cash paying for some items I heard my cell r...	MrsHennepope	17	998	Sep 8, 2011 by MrsHennepope
	I hardly ever do this! (Preview) I am handing over all my frustrations to my HP, who can better handle my worries than I. I am turning off the computer and taking a looong hoooot soak in the tub and won't be back for a looong time! I am working on relaxation and self care tonight and am going to embrace it fully! I hope everyone is doing well...	Breakingfree	6	561	Sep 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Finally back online (Preview) We finally had our internet access set up last week; it was tough going a month without home-based internet access, but I survived. I am struggling mightily right now. Losing my job has left me directionless. I had been doing so well detaching from my AH, but over the past month I have backslid trem...	stephaniej	3	562	Sep 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Courage (Preview) Today's "Courage to Change" addressed priorities, and daily focus. I find it interesting that I was thinking about this very thing this morning. I want to be able to function, perhaps someday be happy in my own life. I had another appmt with employee services. The counselor there has...	KLotus	5	715	Sep 8, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Thinking of Visiting an Open AA Meeting for the First Time AA (Preview) I am not going to be able to make it to my Alanon home meeting on time tonight due to another obligation. There is an open AA meeting near my home that starts an hour later, so I would be able to make it there in time. I am interested in seeing what it's like on the "other side of the pond" and hoping t...	Green Eyes	10	9044	Sep 7, 2011 by Pushka
	alcoholic sobriety and other devient behavior (Preview) my husband has been sober for 10 years and i have just discovered that he is acting out sexually he blames me for being distant and removed since the birth of my grandchildren can my behavior lead to his acting out	mgh	6	627	Sep 7, 2011 by pinkchip
	Tools of Alanon (Preview) While I am an alcoholic, there is so much to this alanon program that keeps me coming back to the boards. I do need to learn to detach and stop controlling others. I need to learn that I am powerless over people. I need to stop being controlling, nagging, and bitter. I need to turn the focus on me. Now t...	pinkchip	6	596	Sep 7, 2011 by Pushka
	where from here (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have been posting over the past two months how my ABF had slipped after 9 months sober having been in rehab for 6 and a dry house for 3. I just got myself out of the way and he moved in with his sister. I have tried to work on myself doing ore meetings etc. He text me last night saying he is going...	Tracy	8	707	Sep 7, 2011 by Pushka
	ove reacting then catastrophizing (Preview) Today I had an issue at work which I had once before in April of this year. I am not feeling too well. I am doing better than I was but I still feel pretty pushed up against a brick wall. I immediately went into panic, over reaction and then catastophe and of course I went into feeling upset, annoyed, isola...	maresie	3	548	Sep 7, 2011 by hotrod
	good things (Preview) HI I often feel like I say all bad things about my husband. I wanted to say some good things about him and put some positive vibes out there. He is a very good man in my opinion. He works hard and brings in the paychecks every week, as do I. He is very complimentary on my skills to do the budget and give us a goo...	Lindaoakford	11	744	Sep 7, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	? on attending my first f2f al-anon (Preview) i have a question that may seem a little unusual...ok, maybe it's just fear, but nonetheless i'm not sure how to approach this. i know f2f meetings would be good for me, however, i have a bit of a conflict of interest. in my line of work, i deal with many, many people in recovery (isn't there an old sayin...	winnie	11	891	Sep 7, 2011 by Hot Chicka
	i don't even know who i am anymore! (Preview) i just feel horrible. i'm so angry at my ah that i find myself yelling at my kids...and they start school tomorrow! i don't want them to feel more anxious than they already may be feeling. they're so little...5 and 7. i feel so guilty. but sometimes i'm just screaming inside my head with the feelin...	winnie	11	814	Sep 7, 2011 by pinkchip
	My first ever fourth date (Preview) In the morning I am going on my very first fourth date to have breakfast. That seems really strange considering I had a 6 year high school relationship, an 11 year marriage/relationship, and 2 other year or so relationships in my life. Being honest though each of those relationships never had fourth...	Jennifer	4	822	Sep 7, 2011 by KLotus
	A lot of our problem is ME (Preview) After talking to my dh and doing some serious introspection, I have realized that I am out of control with fear and anxiety. I am placing expectations on him, I am holding him to MY standards and then getting mad when my standard gets broken, I am fearful of what may happen even though it hasn't. I have a...	ilovedogs	19	984	Sep 7, 2011 by pinkchip
	OT - Grandma passed (Preview) I am so grateful for the support the board has provided during this time. Thank you for your prayers. It was peaceful, and she went because her body was tired and it was just time. Thank you again. P :)	Pushka	10	653	Sep 7, 2011 by MrsHennepope
	Todays One Day at a Time.... (Preview) "I will not interfere with the activities of the alcoholic, or watch over him, counsel him, or assume his responsibilities. He must have the same freedom to make his own decisions as I have, since he must suffer for them if they are wrong." And then: "Teach me to leave to others their...	youfoundme	5	558	Sep 6, 2011 by rara avis
	expectations - my bad (Preview) A few months ago my a and I separated as much as possible while still living on the same property. He has his place and I have mine. We occasionally run into each other in the shared kitchen, or out on the patio but mostly he stays in his place and drinks. He offered to make dinner for both of us last night (he...	pineapple	15	681	Sep 6, 2011 by maresie
	life is good! (Preview) After suffering for over 24 hrs. w/ a broken filling, I got it fixed on Friday! It was the back one on the bottom right. My tongue was scraping against it for all that time. I could barely talk & eating & drinking were almost out of the question! But, thanks to my God of my understanding it got fille...	Hoot Nanny	2	630	Sep 6, 2011 by ilovedogs
	RAH hates the world and is driving me nuts (Preview) My AH is in AA and is currently 30 days out from his last relapse. He has tried to quit drinking for the past two years, had several relapses but is trying to stop drinking. My current problem is that he is very hateful and angry all the time. I saw him relaxed and happy for a couple days during an inpati...	kael1539	7	602	Sep 6, 2011 by rrib
	Please help! Advice needed and I need to vent. I feel crazy (Preview) Hi. I'm new here. I just went to an al-anon meeting for the first time last Thurs. It was nice and I think it will help me...but it might take me forever to feel better and try to heal form the harsh reality that I have an alcoholic husband. He has FINALLY admitted he has an issue with it, but still doesn't thi...	on a rollercoaster	9	924	Sep 6, 2011 by rrib
	Is Anger and Rudeness part of the Dry Drunk Syndrome? (Preview) My husband has been sober for 5yrs and has always been angry and irritable. He refuses counseling or AA. Is there hope that he may change with working on recovery? Is this a symptom of the being a dry drunk? I welcome any feedback.	Eliza	8	7311	Sep 6, 2011 by rrib
	ESH on final ultimatums? (Preview) Hey everybody, So sorry to bogart the forum, but it really is getting down to the wire. Some ESH would be really helpful. Anyone here have ESH on giving a final ultimatum? Basically, I am done. Done. I've planned to leave my boyfriend and tell him to move out this next weekend. My RA's best pal said I sh...	rara avis	11	782	Sep 6, 2011 by GailMichelle
	the levels of insanity .. (Preview) So here it is .. my last night out of town with my primary alcoholic's family .. this truly has been Such a trip .. at this point i'm hoping to make it back on my way out of this town and safely back to my home town .. I made a decision to stay home from a family outting today and knew it would make the addicts a litt...	MeTwo2	10	968	Sep 6, 2011 by maresie
	New Board Moderator (Preview) Really pleased to announce that we have a new Board Moderator, effective immediately..... Hotrod (Betty) is back from vacation, and has agreed to become a Moderator, and I am thrilled to have the help. She has been a valuable member of our family for a long time on MIP, and will be a valuable addi...	canadianguy	12	856	Sep 6, 2011 by maresie
	New Here - Need advice~ (Preview) I don't even know where to start... I am so worried about my father. I am 33 years old and do not live with him.... In the last year or so he has become an alcoholic. It is so hard to believe it since before last year he hardly ever had a drink. His drink of choice is crown and 7. He has become emotionaly...	keiker	12	650	Sep 6, 2011 by Pushka
	feeling scared of my own decisions (Preview) My AH and I had a wonderful day. We took our dog to the park, talked about things other than his problem, and went to eat ice cream with the kids. Yesterday he told me he had been hiding his rum but hasn't bought any in the past month. Good for him, I am really proud of him for that and told him so. Then he says he'...	odalis	8	721	Sep 6, 2011 by tommyecat
	Perspective (Preview) The other night I was meeting with a sponsee whom I meet with weekly at a coffee shop to guide them through step 4. I was running a few minutes late and was anxious to get there. As I get closer to the place I see an open parking spot in front which is nothing short of a miracle. I was about to pull in when I no...	tommyecat	12	736	Sep 6, 2011 by tommyecat
	Just so angry and tired (Preview) One day left to go and then i return to my home state .. I have watched the primary alcoholic in my life flip his last switch .. i'm just too tired and angry to watch anymore but i'm not really angry and tired with him .. i'm angry and tired with myself .. the lies i've told myself to survive .. the ones like .. he...	MeTwo2	6	2007	Sep 5, 2011 by winnie
	Stuck trying to figure out why he drinks (Preview) I left my husband 3 years ago and in the past 19 months that we've been back together his drinking has escalated to alcoholism. He was an alcoholic before I met him but was sober for 7 years (he did relapse a few times in that time period but was always able to pull himself together and stop). Now he is drinki...	nicjon	9	776	Sep 5, 2011 by nicjon
	I have learned so much.. and am only beginning (Preview) Hi guys I can't help but get my hopes up at the moment and enjoying the current 'good' feeling and I am tempering it with the reality of 'this too shall pass'. Yesterday, my husband went fishing with his mate who also smokes pot. I detached for the day. I didnt test in the hope that when he gets reception h...	Lindaoakford	1	433	Sep 5, 2011 by youfoundme
	Seeking Al-Anon (Preview) Hello Everyone, I am going to my first Al-Anon meeting tomorrow. I am having some super high anxiety, trying to cope through my work week as chipper as possible and keep good face with my friends. I have been going on outings with friends just trying to keep my mind at ease and positive, but I guess I shou...	elizabethcontreras	11	3837	Sep 5, 2011 by tommyecat
	12 Step Group (Preview) Some members of my AFG are starting a Step Group. None of us has ever participated in one before. I need some pointers on starting and running a 12 Step Group. Are there guidelines available? Discussion questions? Any help will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.	msgadget6905	5	633	Sep 5, 2011 by tommyecat
	serren dipperty! (Preview) Typo there, but I think it means when something happens opposite to what you expsected, Alanon has taught me this, and it's helped me to see that the things that I thought were my defects can actually be my assets, I just have to twiggle them a little bit is all, I spent a huge huge part of my life feeling wor...	Katy	1	606	Sep 5, 2011 by Katy
	family (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have not been myself lately my A is out there after 9 months sober he has been going down fast for about 2 months ( it was the anniversary yesterday of him going into rehab I was very sad. I am not watching detaching from it unless he goes back to AA. My mother turns up yesterday she was very str...	Tracy	3	709	Sep 4, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Any experience with Antabuse? (Preview) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disulfiram My husband's doctor just prescribed this, he's going to start on Tuesday. It sounds like a miracle pill - just start taking it, no side effects, and stop drinking! Ta da! I'm a bit...not suspicious, exactly, just not sure. It just sounds too good to be true...	Dufferin	9	5715	Sep 4, 2011 by linbaba
	Resolution of anger at self (Preview) I am happy to say I am no longer attached to an IV bag and am on the upswing part of my treatment cycle. It is very nice to feel that my thoughts and actions are more me than influenced by steroids. It is a creepy feeling almost like having another person living inside your mind and has once again given me a bit...	Jennifer	4	501	Sep 3, 2011 by Debilyn
	Share :) (Preview) We had been talking yesterday I believe about feeling overwhelmed by things in our life, trying to do it all with a flare for procrastination (A LARGE ONE .. lol), and I had a good lesson last night. LOL! Anyway, I always joke and say, I'm a goddess, just not a domesticated one. Yes in my younger years,...	Pushka	4	713	Sep 3, 2011 by bonobo
	Trust or stupidity? (Preview) My AH said he would stop drinking, I want to believe him but I can't. I feel like I am just waiting for the ball to drop. Is this part of letting go? I know he is going to do whatever he chooses to do & I suppose I am ok by that. I've set my boundaries with him. I just don't want to be blindsided or too pos...	littlemotel	11	780	Sep 3, 2011 by lasthope
	I think my sister is coming to a meeting tonight!!!!! Prayers Please. (Preview) My sister as some of you know has been living with me for a few months. She has not been very driven to get a job and has not taken the apprenticeship she has been offered. I have let her know already she has to pay rent to live here and have given her the amount. I told her a month and a half ago. The date was y...	clep	6	451	Sep 3, 2011 by Pushka
	Pointing the finger at yourself (Preview) As time goes by, I'm seeing more and more examples of how I turn the focus on everyone in my life but myself. I'm encouraged that I'm at least aware of it, but I'm worried about how I'm ultimately going to stop doing it. My wife & I have 2 kids, ages 4 & 2. They are great kids, but as with most kids this a...	usedtobeanyer	10	1032	Sep 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	Burnin out (long) (Preview) I have been working 4 part time jobs all Summer long, I slow down work wise this Fall just because that is how the work comes and goes where I live. And I know I will make it another couple weeks. I am still reading my daily reader's which keep my attitude good and at night I am reading a book written by my spons...	Breakingfree	7	649	Sep 3, 2011 by elizabethcontreras
	ESH please, regarding breakup? So confused (Preview) Hey wonderful people! I know none of you are mind readers, but any ESH would be appreciated!!! Long story short, I've had enough w/my beloved RA, he didn't seem to pay attention to his self care or to my basic needs, things which I told him had to change. I made extensive plans to get out and kick him out...	rara avis	12	716	Sep 3, 2011 by rara avis
	Detachment (Preview) Detachment doesn't mean denying compassion. Approaching life with detachment may seem cold at first. We are accustomed to offering lots of help to other people. Thus the first few times we back off from what has become our natural inclination - we feel uncomfortable. Through this program we are lea...	glad lee	6	784	Sep 3, 2011 by hotrod
	Questioning everything this morning. (Preview) I am in a quandary this morning As I have been keeping to myself and reading and trying to change my anxious and controlling behavior,(and codependence) my AH has upped the ante and been acting out even more than before. Is this a common pattern? His behavior is so disrespectful of me that I dont know...	oldgraduate	15	669	Sep 3, 2011 by youfoundme
	Open AA Meeting .. (Preview) Went to another wonderful open speaker AA meeting and I have to say this is on my rotation of meetings. They are just terrific! I really encourage anyone to go to a meeting to see the other side of the coin. It is like being at an alanon meeting and hearing your own story through someone else. Listenin...	Pushka	4	439	Sep 3, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Asking for help (Preview) Ok .. I have no idea why a little cell phone or any regular phone becomes the size of an elephant and just as heavy when I have to ask for help on anything. Doesn't matter what it is, something simple to something difficult the idea of rejection just sizzles me to the core and I become very afraid. I hit a ma...	Pushka	8	701	Sep 3, 2011 by hawaiilover
	hello - new here... need to share about crazy FOO (Preview) Hi there, I have been an al anon member for about 3 years, and am currently working the steps with my sponsor. For the next month I'm travelling for work, and my sponsor is sick with her own issues anyway, so I am very glad I found this message board! I just want to share something that happened to me last wee...	bonobo	9	643	Sep 3, 2011 by bonobo
	In need of support (experience, to give me strength and hope asap .. ? (Preview) I'm not in town at the moment and can't make it to my meetings .. I am in another state with my adolescent daughter visiting my alcoholic's family members and so far things have gone ok .. with all things considered .. in fact they've gone (up to this point) better than i'd expected .. only by the grace of hi...	MeTwo2	8	708	Sep 3, 2011 by MeTwo2
	interesting twist on grown daughter's perception (sorry it's long) (Preview) I had an interesting conversation with my grown daughter yesterday. Background, I have been having bouts of high Blood Pressure over the past few months. I know they are related to my stress with my spouse. I feel it go up if we fight and when I lose sleep due to issues we are having. I finally went to t...	oldgraduate	2	875	Sep 2, 2011 by Too hard
	This Message Board and Privacy (Preview) Hi Everyone, I just realised that I have been feeling some strange vibes from my AH recently, when I happen to be writing on this site/on the computer. He has read my journal before, and would not be opposed to finding and reading my posts - and, believe me, he could figure out which are mine. Is there an...	KLotus	6	756	Sep 2, 2011 by likemyheart
	Still Going... Were I Not Sure yet... (Preview) Welp.... Currently My Life has Started to breathe a New Way of Living, and it is Non Stop- Balls to the Wall- Wide Open... I Have so Much To be Thankful for, So Much to be Grateful for, and yet still have these desires to just Disappear sometimes and Hide from it all... My Sons Schedule went from 3 days a week...	Jozie	5	531	Sep 2, 2011 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.