Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

My husband (who legally is my ex) went through 3 inpatient rehabs within 3 years. The first rehab we were both so naive. He was full of promises and I swallowed them hook, line and sinker. He was back to drinking in no time. (That G in my name used to stand for gulliable.) The second rehab I was out of the p...

KimK · KimK

Im struggling to keep my sanity tonight....Husband has only been home for about an hour and it's taken all I have in me to stay halfway sane....We have the same charger for our phones...Well, he lost his a couple of months ago, and hasn't bothered to replace it...He needed mine tonight, and I told him I'...

rehprof · rehprof

After 28 years married to an AH, I am surprised at how shakey I am in terms of confidence. Whenever anything goes wrong, I immediately take the blame, and then spend time worrying because I didn't get it right (which is often not the case). My counselor says that this all stems from the idea that I can con...

kris10 · kris10

My Abf gets paid on the 16th... I already know that he will be high.. Even maybe today and the next day because he usually "fronts" some a few days in advance to him getting paid... And last month he did something different. He got paid and gave his whole paycheck to his dealer so they could buy m...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Deblyn said this in a very recent post and it is oh so true. But the problem is, they don't start out being the horrible people they become. I said to a friend just last night that if mine had started out as the horrid, verbally abusive, treating me like dirt, donkey behind I no longer live with, I would NEVE...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL .. I can't remember if I shared once again what happened with the kittens .. dummy next door came and got them. I was upset however I handed them over no fuss no muss. Outside of letting her know clearly that if she did ANYTHING in ways of bothering myself or my children would have issues. This IS our p...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

It's been a rough day and I fully acknowledge responsibility for it. My wife had a job this morning and I took out the kids. When we got home, she was home and I immediately for whatever reason went into judgement mode. She wasn't drunk, I knew that, but I'm analyzing everything to what she's saying and ev...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Last night I became very honest with myself. I finally just started writing out the steps. I realized that I have successfully progressed with steps 1-3. I am currently working on step 4. I read a personality book a few weeks back and realized alot of my personality defaults come from the personali...

newbeginning1 · newbeginning1

Hi, my name is Alexa, and obviously I am new to this forum. I am really struggling right now trying to find a place in Alanon, but I know I really need the support and guidance that the program can give me. I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for almost three years now. I am only 19 years old, so he...

Latinarose · Latinarose

Dazzed and confused! My addict is a drama king everything is a drama and he wants me to jump quickly to give him solutions to problems that arise in his life. His anger and outbursts ger out of controll and I can not make him see it. Frankly I can not talk to him sober or not!

emma058 · emma058

Just let me thank you all for allowing me to post my story. After 20 years of trying to live with an alcoholic and having him run my life. He finally crossed the line on Tuesday and threatened physical violence on me and managed to grab our adult daughter and pull her hair. Needless, to say, he is in jail...

Irish John · Irish John

I hope you will grant me some forebearance with my questions and offer me your insights. I have recently met an amazing woman, 57, with whom I hope to build a long term relationship. We have discussed that she is an alcoholic who has been sober for 18 years. She continues to attend weekly AA mtgs and ac...

KimK · KimK

Who knew that having too much bread in the pantry was breaking some great rule of the world....My husband came home today after work, which is unusual to begin with, but I was in the living room watching tv, and could hear him out in the kitchen complaining under his breath about the smudge of peanut butt...

KimK · KimK

I have to vent, otherwise, I will go scream at a drunken fool...and I know that will serve no good purpose. He came home, I was on the phone with a classmate of mine talking about school....Apparantly, I was talking with my boyfriend, and my husband hopes it is love and that I will leave....He's in bed pa...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My program accepted and practiced meditation has been for years "God is". I can and have been practicing that since my elder sponsor led me to it on a 24/7 basis. Especially now after last Tuesday's event I have wrapped myself in that meditation along with the rest of life. What has come...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have gotten some sleep lately which I kind of attribute to the medicine I am taking but also to the positive outlook I have on life these days! But, on Sat. night, I got a call on my phone at home at 2:30 am. Probably a wrong number. I stayed up pretty much after that. Can't a nice gal like me get a break? I just...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I actually had a good conversation with my husband yesterday before the addict monster came to play. I spoke to him about a 'spiritual reading' and how the lady who was channelling said that she knew he was smoking marijuana, and that it isn't going to stop and I have two choices to accept it or leave him....

John · John

A few weeks ago I was the opening speaker for the Tri City Area Conference in Petersburg, VA. They recorded and made a CD of my share which they kindly gave me a copy of.Should or shouldn't I share it on this site, and if so, should or shouldn't I let it be known here that it is a share by the founder and webmas...

Miss Maddie · Miss Maddie

I'm trying & trying to detach & not react..... Had a prety nice day & went out to a new place for dinner. Stopped by the liquor store for some holiday beers for the upcoming holidays & he got a 6 pack for the car. (I drove) At dinner, he didn't eat much & drank a BUNCH of beers. Barten...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

Our son is only 10, but has a way of seeing the world in an honest, unfiltered way. And he doesn't have a problem speaking his mind about what he sees. Over the past couple of weeks, he has been coming to me and saying, "You and Dad have bad communication. You need to work on that." Tonight he told...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

I found this old post (2004) by Elizabeth to be very inspiring, and thought I would share it with other newbies like myself. ---------- Wise words from an AA who counsels with families of alcoholics: "Yes, the alcoholic can be forced to get sober." The spouse: "But I've tried every...

Pushka · Pushka

K, .. so my attitude has been fully adjusted .. LOL .. my AH has not been a happy camper tonight and well .. so be it. God love him, if he doesn't want to hug or kiss me goodbye/good night (I was told I was mean .. lol .. ok I'm sure I was grumpy acting) he doesn't have to and it's not personal (LOL .. I'm sure in his...

Lilbearz · Lilbearz

I want to thank all of you for sharing, I can relate to all of the stories. It is like reading my own journal if I had one. From the verbal abuse, which I like to call "Bullying", to the "I know you are cheating" when I am texting or on the phone "say hi to your boyfriend for me,...

lostinspace · lostinspace

It's been almost a week since I left my AH. As hard as it was to do, enough was enough. He started calling me weak and other things. He told me that I was "copping out on the relationship."But the thing is is that he wasn't drunk or drinking during that time. I just told him that we should go our s...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

Well, I take care of the checkbook and bills. He earns the money, doesn't care what the checkbook or credit card balance is, just buys whatever he feels like. I don't try to tell him to stop spending anymore, we only have such and such in the bank...he doesn't care, and if he cared he could check the accoun...

patsquest · patsquest

I am new to this board having just found it this weekend. After 30 years of living with my husbands addition I am just now starting to get MY life back. For all those years of trying to control how he acted and what he did it has finally brought me to the point of "I just can't do it anymore"! There i...

Pushka · Pushka

Mark and Jerry both got me thinking about some things over the past 24 hours. I'm so grateful to you both. I will be reading about resentment contemplating about what has me stuck in the tar pit of the past. I gotta say I"m soooo angry right now and I feel so resentful with good reason the ironic thi...

never going back · never going back

Very, very anxious today. I can't get the knots out of my stomach. I'm trying to stay busy cleaning, doing yoga, walking outside, but that queasy feeling remains. My AH had a very successful (I thought) year and a half in AA, then quit going for a year and a half ( a time in which he relapsed 5 times), and has...

jazzcat · jazzcat

It was my A's birthday at midnight. We both play music, and had a show together. I was dreading it all day. He got just as drunk as Id imagined. But I kept laughing and enjoying myself. Serenity. His choices, his addiction, his life. Other musicians in town and his friends came out. Everyone was buying...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I have been doing just that for about two months... I feel when the Tiger sleeps is when the monkeys prance.... you know? If I stop worrying will it happen? Then I think. STOP!! I know I have to be in today. I know I have to focus on me. I get caught up sometimes worrying, thinking, pondering... tomorrow. on...

KeepingFaith · KeepingFaith

Im learning so much in coming here and f2f meetings, my sponsor, my counselor, & a couple close friends that have lived through their journey of loving an A. I recently set boundaries with my Abf. And in part of it was ending the relationship until he enters recovery. Nothing changes if nothing c...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Searching for a good nights' sleep still. Got some new meds. Hope they work--actually a different version of the same I am taking now. I am doing much better--I finally talked to my dad Thursday. He is doing the best to be expected I guess. He wants me to come down & spend a week or almost a month w/ him....

nyc018 · nyc018

I'm going through a bad day dealing with anger and resentment at my AH, along with anger at myself for not being strong enough. I'm separated from AH, but we're still close in that he spends a large part of the weekend with me and our son. He's been sober since September after getting out of rehab. This f...

Pushka · Pushka

My AH and I spent the day together and had a nice time for the most part. I'm a little irritated at the moment (better for me to put it down here than to act out how I want too .. LOL) being woken up at the crack of dawn. He spent the evening in the ER .. THAT didn't make me happy as he could have gone to a dang dr ins...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and I haven't felt self hatred and disgust since I don't know when. My VA/AA counselor told me years ago that when my time was all done that if I found that I had progressed 1/4" (a quarter inch) in recovery then I should be satisfied and my self righteous self said...uh uh Bill, I'll be miles away fr...

kris10 · kris10

How do I get rid of all this hate and resentment????? Every single night lately I can't sleep because I have all these thoughts in my mind of all the things that are bothering me and all the reasons why I resent my Abf... I find myself laying in bed next to him, discusted to even look at him.. I love him but I s...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I knew it then and I know it now. It was a combo of hating myself and being afraid to be alone. For me, I would rather be with someone I couldn't stand at that point than to be alone. When alone, I had to think about myself. I had to really ponder my situation and where my life did not go as planned. I had to f...

RLC · RLC

Today is Veterans Day. A day for us to thank all of the Veterans who gave of service and many who paid the ultimate price giving their life for their country and our freedom. My late brother was one of them. He was a Marine, once a Marine always a Marine. The few the proud the Marines. His motto: Semper Fi...

Lilbearz · Lilbearz

I just found this message board, I have read posts that I can completely relate too, I just haven't taken that step and gone to a Family Group meeting. I have been married 15 years with two wonderful sons, and have been living with alcoholism for over 11 years of it, and I find myself at a cross road. Can I...

amills4294 · amills4294

I know this is a tough topic with ACoA's (for those newbies - Adult Children of Acoholics - I grew up with an alcoholic parent). As most of you know I've been struggling with my marriage. I've been separated for over a year and we are in a "trial" back together. My spouse has no problems telli...

Pushka · Pushka

I was raised on Apple products, so I don't know about other areas to look online. I'm sure there are .. lol .. I haven't at this point looked. If you have a computer you don't have to have an iPod. The podcasts are downloadable straight to the computer through an iTunes account. It's all free, there is...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I never understood that there truly is no joy without sorrow until now. I am reading the prophet and it is as if kahlil gibran watched the past six months of my life unfold and then wrote the chapter on sorrow and joy and the chapter on marriage for that matter. Its comforting to know that obviously I am n...

scholarlydragon · scholarlydragon

Problems with my AM continue almost unabated. She is living in an assited living facility, as she is essentially disabled (with a heart condition and pacemaker) and thus on restriced income. She has made friends with another resident there that she initially was trying to avoid (or so she claimed)...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I have recognized that I have to change me. The anger that I was so often feeling is less and less. I'm more able to let go. The whiskey bottle that was sitting behind the end table next to the couch, was just that, I had no reaction to it. Last night I arrived home and my husband was working on dinner, it was fa...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Since I started going to Al-anon face to face meetings almost a year ago, I have experienced the death of a few relationships. I have outgrown some of these and some people didn't want to deal with my self righteousness, I had early in my program (I wanted to force feed Al-anon to everyone dear to me). It i...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I know that some of us feel trapped by our situation especially if the primary provider is the A in our lives. I have been thinking that I need to prepare for the future and maybe think about a career path. I have a 4 year degree and was a stock broker working in institutional investing for a few years befo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

OK so I overreacted to the family thing I was going through--maybe they just didn't want to upset me & set off my darn disease! I have talked to them via FACEBOOK through pictures. Some of them were really old 1990, & they loved them! It was so cool to bond w/ them w/ the pictures. They couldn't rem...

jazzcat · jazzcat

I've been going to Al-Anon for several weeks now. He has relapsed, and has pushed me out of his life for the most part. I now understand what I can and can't change, but I seem to still have doubts that it is his disease that pushes me away. But I've done and said so many things that were wrong or hurtful in the...

KimK · KimK

Hi everyone. I am new here. Having a very stressful day. My husband of 10 years is an alcoholic. We have had some bad times throughout the years, but this, by far, has been the worst yet. Most of the Summer was good. He really didn't drink much....We got along well. About 3 weeks ago, he stayed out mo...

afares · afares

Three years ago, our whole world came apart. I ended up in the hospital sufferring from a major depression that stemmed from me trying to cover up the mess my husband and my life had become. I started to work on myself and my husband went in and out of sobriety for a while. Thankfully he has been sober for 18...

rrib · rrib

Deblyn's post a few days ago Well do you love them????? reminded me that I do much better when I remember to be grateful for what I have. And of something I'd read, an excerpt from the book Awakening In Time by Jacquelyn Small. Kat and I liked is so much, we included it at our wedding. Not that we remember to...

Whitehydrangia · Whitehydrangia

I feel kind of lonely today and am pondering about my life; who I have become, my codependency issues, what my feelings are, and where I want my life to go. I have a BSN in Nursing and have worked at a hospital for 18 years. Shortly after I started working, I met my A and little by little, my life turned into...

TeachMe · TeachMe

I am brand new to this, but have been reading posts since 4am. All of the posts have given me strength, thank you everyone! My AH left 3 days ago. I told him to go after weeks of him threatening to leave. He is on medication for depression which can not be combined with alcohol. Problem is he told his ther...

floweroflife · floweroflife

I am married to an active alcoholic, and right now - I'm really angry about it. There aren't any meetings in my area tonight that I can attend, so in the interest of full disclosure - I found this site and am just here to vent. I'm new to Al-Anon and haven't been to many meetings, so in addition to venting I'l...

Jozie · Jozie

I would Have to say without the Love & Support that I have thru Al-Anon/ACOA I truly wouldn't have a Clue were My Life may have Lead these Last 3 years... Its Almost Scary to think when I Look back at Where I Began when this Newest Journey took roots... Currently My knowledge and know how on the "L...

noelle2 · noelle2

So today is a hard day, I'm feeling resentful for having to take over the money and put it in his account bit by bit as he needs things like gas. I took the cards in anger last week when he "slipped " and went to the liquor store again the third weekend in a row. He has since asked me to keep all the mo...

kitty · kitty

I cant get into the chat room today, is anyone else having issues with entry or is it bc i dont know how to use this new pc? ugh, help

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I had an HP moment: one of those times when I really look at myself in the mirror and see what lies deep beneath my heart. I have had a few posts lately about setting my "no driving the kids" boundary with my AH. I thought I was doing it to protect the kids. And I am. But, there is something deeper....

liljeannie · liljeannie

I need some guidance here.... I have been trying for so long and so hard to move forward and away from my past experiences and the more I try, the worse I feel. I have no real closure as I am still awaiting my day in court for the assault. I was denied AGAIN by SS for disability even though I am in no way physic...

sirchef · sirchef

As is usual for me I have trouble with so many slogans and sayings. This one is one that has given me some real pause for thought. Do we really recover from the hurts and betrayals we recieve at the hands of those we love? I listen and listen to so many including myself talk about wounds that never heal. So it...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	3rd Time Was Different (Preview) My husband (who legally is my ex) went through 3 inpatient rehabs within 3 years. The first rehab we were both so naive. He was full of promises and I swallowed them hook, line and sinker. He was back to drinking in no time. (That G in my name used to stand for gulliable.) The second rehab I was out of the p...	GailMichelle	6	508	Nov 15, 2011 by sookie
	Rough Evening (Preview) Im struggling to keep my sanity tonight....Husband has only been home for about an hour and it's taken all I have in me to stay halfway sane....We have the same charger for our phones...Well, he lost his a couple of months ago, and hasn't bothered to replace it...He needed mine tonight, and I told him I'...	KimK	13	479	Nov 15, 2011 by KimK
	self worth and control (Preview) After 28 years married to an AH, I am surprised at how shakey I am in terms of confidence. Whenever anything goes wrong, I immediately take the blame, and then spend time worrying because I didn't get it right (which is often not the case). My counselor says that this all stems from the idea that I can con...	rehprof	7	917	Nov 15, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	preparing myself... (Preview) My Abf gets paid on the 16th... I already know that he will be high.. Even maybe today and the next day because he usually "fronts" some a few days in advance to him getting paid... And last month he did something different. He got paid and gave his whole paycheck to his dealer so they could buy m...	kris10	16	585	Nov 15, 2011 by Jackie11
	In a healthy world people do not act like this (Preview) Deblyn said this in a very recent post and it is oh so true. But the problem is, they don't start out being the horrible people they become. I said to a friend just last night that if mine had started out as the horrid, verbally abusive, treating me like dirt, donkey behind I no longer live with, I would NEVE...	likemyheart	8	438	Nov 15, 2011 by tlynna
	OT - Cats .. (Preview) LOL .. I can't remember if I shared once again what happened with the kittens .. dummy next door came and got them. I was upset however I handed them over no fuss no muss. Outside of letting her know clearly that if she did ANYTHING in ways of bothering myself or my children would have issues. This IS our p...	Pushka	5	3718	Nov 15, 2011 by Pushka
	Bad day--my fault (Preview) It's been a rough day and I fully acknowledge responsibility for it. My wife had a job this morning and I took out the kids. When we got home, she was home and I immediately for whatever reason went into judgement mode. She wasn't drunk, I knew that, but I'm analyzing everything to what she's saying and ev...	usedtobeanyer	15	561	Nov 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Step Four in Progress - Direction Appreciated step four (Preview) Last night I became very honest with myself. I finally just started writing out the steps. I realized that I have successfully progressed with steps 1-3. I am currently working on step 4. I read a personality book a few weeks back and realized alot of my personality defaults come from the personali...	Michelle814	6	467	Nov 15, 2011 by Michelle814
	Teen looking for support (Preview) Hi, my name is Alexa, and obviously I am new to this forum. I am really struggling right now trying to find a place in Alanon, but I know I really need the support and guidance that the program can give me. I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for almost three years now. I am only 19 years old, so he...	newbeginning1	8	486	Nov 15, 2011 by danni
	Dazzed and confused (Preview) Dazzed and confused! My addict is a drama king everything is a drama and he wants me to jump quickly to give him solutions to problems that arise in his life. His anger and outbursts ger out of controll and I can not make him see it. Frankly I can not talk to him sober or not!	Latinarose	6	463	Nov 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	Husband out of home (Preview) Just let me thank you all for allowing me to post my story. After 20 years of trying to live with an alcoholic and having him run my life. He finally crossed the line on Tuesday and threatened physical violence on me and managed to grab our adult daughter and pull her hair. Needless, to say, he is in jail...	emma058	5	417	Nov 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	New member ? regarding supportive relationship (Preview) I hope you will grant me some forebearance with my questions and offer me your insights. I have recently met an amazing woman, 57, with whom I hope to build a long term relationship. We have discussed that she is an alcoholic who has been sober for 18 years. She continues to attend weekly AA mtgs and ac...	Irish John	6	472	Nov 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	Having too much bread in the pantry..lol (Preview) Who knew that having too much bread in the pantry was breaking some great rule of the world....My husband came home today after work, which is unusual to begin with, but I was in the living room watching tv, and could hear him out in the kitchen complaining under his breath about the smudge of peanut butt...	KimK	10	598	Nov 14, 2011 by KimK
	Just got drawn into crazy town.... (Preview) I have to vent, otherwise, I will go scream at a drunken fool...and I know that will serve no good purpose. He came home, I was on the phone with a classmate of mine talking about school....Apparantly, I was talking with my boyfriend, and my husband hopes it is love and that I will leave....He's in bed pa...	KimK	8	732	Nov 14, 2011 by KimK
	Reconfirmation... (Preview) My program accepted and practiced meditation has been for years "God is". I can and have been practicing that since my elder sponsor led me to it on a 24/7 basis. Especially now after last Tuesday's event I have wrapped myself in that meditation along with the rest of life. What has come...	Jerry F	4	518	Nov 14, 2011 by Andrea12
	some sleep; not much! (Preview) I have gotten some sleep lately which I kind of attribute to the medicine I am taking but also to the positive outlook I have on life these days! But, on Sat. night, I got a call on my phone at home at 2:30 am. Probably a wrong number. I stayed up pretty much after that. Can't a nice gal like me get a break? I just...	Hoot Nanny	1	374	Nov 14, 2011 by Jerry F
	had a good conversation with my husband (all my posts are long) (Preview) I actually had a good conversation with my husband yesterday before the addict monster came to play. I spoke to him about a 'spiritual reading' and how the lady who was channelling said that she knew he was smoking marijuana, and that it isn't going to stop and I have two choices to accept it or leave him....	Lindaoakford	11	804	Nov 14, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Simple Question (Preview) A few weeks ago I was the opening speaker for the Tri City Area Conference in Petersburg, VA. They recorded and made a CD of my share which they kindly gave me a copy of.Should or shouldn't I share it on this site, and if so, should or shouldn't I let it be known here that it is a share by the founder and webmas...	John	17	571	Nov 14, 2011 by glad lee
	Turning into a bad night........... (Preview) I'm trying & trying to detach & not react..... Had a prety nice day & went out to a new place for dinner. Stopped by the liquor store for some holiday beers for the upcoming holidays & he got a 6 pack for the car. (I drove) At dinner, he didn't eat much & drank a BUNCH of beers. Barten...	Miss Maddie	14	513	Nov 14, 2011 by youfoundme
	Out of the mouths of babes (Preview) Our son is only 10, but has a way of seeing the world in an honest, unfiltered way. And he doesn't have a problem speaking his mind about what he sees. Over the past couple of weeks, he has been coming to me and saying, "You and Dad have bad communication. You need to work on that." Tonight he told...	Very Very Tired	8	410	Nov 14, 2011 by Jackie11
	INSPIRED BY OLD POST (Preview) I found this old post (2004) by Elizabeth to be very inspiring, and thought I would share it with other newbies like myself. ---------- Wise words from an AA who counsels with families of alcoholics: "Yes, the alcoholic can be forced to get sober." The spouse: "But I've tried every...	GreenerGrass	11	575	Nov 14, 2011 by Michelle814
	A Homer Simpson D'oh Moment (Preview) K, .. so my attitude has been fully adjusted .. LOL .. my AH has not been a happy camper tonight and well .. so be it. God love him, if he doesn't want to hug or kiss me goodbye/good night (I was told I was mean .. lol .. ok I'm sure I was grumpy acting) he doesn't have to and it's not personal (LOL .. I'm sure in his...	Pushka	2	446	Nov 14, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Newbie Working Through It (Preview) I want to thank all of you for sharing, I can relate to all of the stories. It is like reading my own journal if I had one. From the verbal abuse, which I like to call "Bullying", to the "I know you are cheating" when I am texting or on the phone "say hi to your boyfriend for me,...	Lilbearz	8	393	Nov 14, 2011 by Lilbearz
	I did it!!!! (Preview) It's been almost a week since I left my AH. As hard as it was to do, enough was enough. He started calling me weak and other things. He told me that I was "copping out on the relationship."But the thing is is that he wasn't drunk or drinking during that time. I just told him that we should go our s...	lostinspace	9	588	Nov 13, 2011 by lostinspace
	insufficient funds (Preview) Well, I take care of the checkbook and bills. He earns the money, doesn't care what the checkbook or credit card balance is, just buys whatever he feels like. I don't try to tell him to stop spending anymore, we only have such and such in the bank...he doesn't care, and if he cared he could check the accoun...	GreenerGrass	3	402	Nov 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Taking back my life after 30 years with the struggle (Preview) I am new to this board having just found it this weekend. After 30 years of living with my husbands addition I am just now starting to get MY life back. For all those years of trying to control how he acted and what he did it has finally brought me to the point of "I just can't do it anymore"! There i...	patsquest	5	451	Nov 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	An opportunity to heal (Preview) Mark and Jerry both got me thinking about some things over the past 24 hours. I'm so grateful to you both. I will be reading about resentment contemplating about what has me stuck in the tar pit of the past. I gotta say I"m soooo angry right now and I feel so resentful with good reason the ironic thi...	Pushka	5	547	Nov 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Needing ESH today more than ever (Preview) Very, very anxious today. I can't get the knots out of my stomach. I'm trying to stay busy cleaning, doing yoga, walking outside, but that queasy feeling remains. My AH had a very successful (I thought) year and a half in AA, then quit going for a year and a half ( a time in which he relapsed 5 times), and has...	never going back	8	436	Nov 13, 2011 by patsquest
	The Dreaded Birthday Party (Preview) It was my A's birthday at midnight. We both play music, and had a show together. I was dreading it all day. He got just as drunk as Id imagined. But I kept laughing and enjoying myself. Serenity. His choices, his addiction, his life. Other musicians in town and his friends came out. Everyone was buying...	jazzcat	5	378	Nov 13, 2011 by tommyecat
	Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop???? live in today one day at a time (Preview) I have been doing just that for about two months... I feel when the Tiger sleeps is when the monkeys prance.... you know? If I stop worrying will it happen? Then I think. STOP!! I know I have to be in today. I know I have to focus on me. I get caught up sometimes worrying, thinking, pondering... tomorrow. on...	Michelle814	8	4022	Nov 13, 2011 by tommyecat
	Trying to not be afraid (Preview) Im learning so much in coming here and f2f meetings, my sponsor, my counselor, & a couple close friends that have lived through their journey of loving an A. I recently set boundaries with my Abf. And in part of it was ending the relationship until he enters recovery. Nothing changes if nothing c...	KeepingFaith	6	440	Nov 13, 2011 by tommyecat
	oh sleep, gentle sleep! (Preview) Searching for a good nights' sleep still. Got some new meds. Hope they work--actually a different version of the same I am taking now. I am doing much better--I finally talked to my dad Thursday. He is doing the best to be expected I guess. He wants me to come down & spend a week or almost a month w/ him....	Hoot Nanny	3	496	Nov 13, 2011 by tommyecat
	I feel like I've slipped (Preview) I'm going through a bad day dealing with anger and resentment at my AH, along with anger at myself for not being strong enough. I'm separated from AH, but we're still close in that he spends a large part of the weekend with me and our son. He's been sober since September after getting out of rehab. This f...	nyc018	12	453	Nov 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Passive Agressive - vent (Preview) My AH and I spent the day together and had a nice time for the most part. I'm a little irritated at the moment (better for me to put it down here than to act out how I want too .. LOL) being woken up at the crack of dawn. He spent the evening in the ER .. THAT didn't make me happy as he could have gone to a dang dr ins...	Pushka	13	581	Nov 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Just did an inventory about Tuesday... (Preview) and I haven't felt self hatred and disgust since I don't know when. My VA/AA counselor told me years ago that when my time was all done that if I found that I had progressed 1/4" (a quarter inch) in recovery then I should be satisfied and my self righteous self said...uh uh Bill, I'll be miles away fr...	Jerry F	15	771	Nov 12, 2011 by hiflying1
	Resentment... (Preview) How do I get rid of all this hate and resentment????? Every single night lately I can't sleep because I have all these thoughts in my mind of all the things that are bothering me and all the reasons why I resent my Abf... I find myself laying in bed next to him, discusted to even look at him.. I love him but I s...	kris10	25	873	Nov 12, 2011 by kris10
	What had me most trapped (Preview) I knew it then and I know it now. It was a combo of hating myself and being afraid to be alone. For me, I would rather be with someone I couldn't stand at that point than to be alone. When alone, I had to think about myself. I had to really ponder my situation and where my life did not go as planned. I had to f...	pinkchip	14	780	Nov 12, 2011 by orchidlover
	Thanks To All The Veterans (Preview) Today is Veterans Day. A day for us to thank all of the Veterans who gave of service and many who paid the ultimate price giving their life for their country and our freedom. My late brother was one of them. He was a Marine, once a Marine always a Marine. The few the proud the Marines. His motto: Semper Fi...	RLC	8	446	Nov 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	15 Years and counting - and at a Cross Road (Preview) I just found this message board, I have read posts that I can completely relate too, I just haven't taken that step and gone to a Family Group meeting. I have been married 15 years with two wonderful sons, and have been living with alcoholism for over 11 years of it, and I find myself at a cross road. Can I...	Lilbearz	12	533	Nov 12, 2011 by Truly Grateful
	feeling ok with me and my decisions and what's right for me (Preview) I know this is a tough topic with ACoA's (for those newbies - Adult Children of Acoholics - I grew up with an alcoholic parent). As most of you know I've been struggling with my marriage. I've been separated for over a year and we are in a "trial" back together. My spouse has no problems telli...	amills4294	13	542	Nov 12, 2011 by amills4294
	Pod Casts on iTunes search alanon (or AA speakers) (Preview) I was raised on Apple products, so I don't know about other areas to look online. I'm sure there are .. lol .. I haven't at this point looked. If you have a computer you don't have to have an iPod. The podcasts are downloadable straight to the computer through an iTunes account. It's all free, there is...	Pushka	8	1254	Nov 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. sorrow joy pain growth strength (Preview) I never understood that there truly is no joy without sorrow until now. I am reading the prophet and it is as if kahlil gibran watched the past six months of my life unfold and then wrote the chapter on sorrow and joy and the chapter on marriage for that matter. Its comforting to know that obviously I am n...	Michelle814	13	752	Nov 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Think I may have hit the point of no-return (Preview) Problems with my AM continue almost unabated. She is living in an assited living facility, as she is essentially disabled (with a heart condition and pacemaker) and thus on restriced income. She has made friends with another resident there that she initially was trying to avoid (or so she claimed)...	scholarlydragon	5	496	Nov 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	50/50 (Preview) I have recognized that I have to change me. The anger that I was so often feeling is less and less. I'm more able to let go. The whiskey bottle that was sitting behind the end table next to the couch, was just that, I had no reaction to it. Last night I arrived home and my husband was working on dinner, it was fa...	Jackie11	10	615	Nov 11, 2011 by amills4294
	The death of a relationship (Preview) Since I started going to Al-anon face to face meetings almost a year ago, I have experienced the death of a few relationships. I have outgrown some of these and some people didn't want to deal with my self righteousness, I had early in my program (I wanted to force feed Al-anon to everyone dear to me). It i...	Breakingfree	9	1059	Nov 11, 2011 by orchidlover
	Off topic here, thinking about future careers (Preview) I know that some of us feel trapped by our situation especially if the primary provider is the A in our lives. I have been thinking that I need to prepare for the future and maybe think about a career path. I have a 4 year degree and was a stock broker working in institutional investing for a few years befo...	ilovedogs	6	430	Nov 11, 2011 by Breakingfree
	I have to admit is IS getting better! (Preview) OK so I overreacted to the family thing I was going through--maybe they just didn't want to upset me & set off my darn disease! I have talked to them via FACEBOOK through pictures. Some of them were really old 1990, & they loved them! It was so cool to bond w/ them w/ the pictures. They couldn't rem...	Hoot Nanny	3	294	Nov 11, 2011 by tommyecat
	Guilt About Past Mistakes (Preview) I've been going to Al-Anon for several weeks now. He has relapsed, and has pushed me out of his life for the most part. I now understand what I can and can't change, but I seem to still have doubts that it is his disease that pushes me away. But I've done and said so many things that were wrong or hurtful in the...	jazzcat	20	686	Nov 11, 2011 by KeepingFaith
	Live with a Jekyll and Hyde (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new here. Having a very stressful day. My husband of 10 years is an alcoholic. We have had some bad times throughout the years, but this, by far, has been the worst yet. Most of the Summer was good. He really didn't drink much....We got along well. About 3 weeks ago, he stayed out mo...	KimK	12	6184	Nov 10, 2011 by likemyheart
	i have found my rock bottom (Preview) Three years ago, our whole world came apart. I ended up in the hospital sufferring from a major depression that stemmed from me trying to cover up the mess my husband and my life had become. I started to work on myself and my husband went in and out of sobriety for a while. Thankfully he has been sober for 18...	afares	13	677	Nov 10, 2011 by orchidlover
	Reminded ... (Preview) Deblyn's post a few days ago Well do you love them????? reminded me that I do much better when I remember to be grateful for what I have. And of something I'd read, an excerpt from the book Awakening In Time by Jacquelyn Small. Kat and I liked is so much, we included it at our wedding. Not that we remember to...	rrib	13	617	Nov 10, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Sliding Down A Slope (Preview) I feel kind of lonely today and am pondering about my life; who I have become, my codependency issues, what my feelings are, and where I want my life to go. I have a BSN in Nursing and have worked at a hospital for 18 years. Shortly after I started working, I met my A and little by little, my life turned into...	Whitehydrangia	6	545	Nov 10, 2011 by pinkchip
	New and devastated (Preview) I am brand new to this, but have been reading posts since 4am. All of the posts have given me strength, thank you everyone! My AH left 3 days ago. I told him to go after weeks of him threatening to leave. He is on medication for depression which can not be combined with alcohol. Problem is he told his ther...	TeachMe	10	536	Nov 10, 2011 by tommyecat
	Tired of riding the roller coaster (Preview) I am married to an active alcoholic, and right now - I'm really angry about it. There aren't any meetings in my area tonight that I can attend, so in the interest of full disclosure - I found this site and am just here to vent. I'm new to Al-Anon and haven't been to many meetings, so in addition to venting I'l...	floweroflife	14	651	Nov 10, 2011 by Pushka
	Only One Moment at a Time.... (Preview) I would Have to say without the Love & Support that I have thru Al-Anon/ACOA I truly wouldn't have a Clue were My Life may have Lead these Last 3 years... Its Almost Scary to think when I Look back at Where I Began when this Newest Journey took roots... Currently My knowledge and know how on the "L...	Jozie	6	590	Nov 10, 2011 by Jozie
	ARRRGH!!! (Preview) So today is a hard day, I'm feeling resentful for having to take over the money and put it in his account bit by bit as he needs things like gas. I took the cards in anger last week when he "slipped " and went to the liquor store again the third weekend in a row. He has since asked me to keep all the mo...	noelle2	8	445	Nov 10, 2011 by rosielee
	trouble loading chat room (Preview) I cant get into the chat room today, is anyone else having issues with entry or is it bc i dont know how to use this new pc? ugh, help	kitty	10	559	Nov 10, 2011 by kitty
	Getting Honest (Preview) I had an HP moment: one of those times when I really look at myself in the mirror and see what lies deep beneath my heart. I have had a few posts lately about setting my "no driving the kids" boundary with my AH. I thought I was doing it to protect the kids. And I am. But, there is something deeper....	Very Very Tired	11	421	Nov 10, 2011 by danni
	Scared and lost....and so lonely (Preview) I need some guidance here.... I have been trying for so long and so hard to move forward and away from my past experiences and the more I try, the worse I feel. I have no real closure as I am still awaiting my day in court for the assault. I was denied AGAIN by SS for disability even though I am in no way physic...	liljeannie	9	559	Nov 10, 2011 by Pushka
	recovery (Preview) As is usual for me I have trouble with so many slogans and sayings. This one is one that has given me some real pause for thought. Do we really recover from the hurts and betrayals we recieve at the hands of those we love? I listen and listen to so many including myself talk about wounds that never heal. So it...	sirchef	8	782	Nov 10, 2011 by abbyal
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.