Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lacewing · lacewing

I am unable to chair my regular Tuesday Night Alanon Meeting in our Alanon Chat room for this Tuesday (December 13th) and next Tuesday (December 20th). I am hoping someone will be gracious and step up for me so our Holidays Needs are met. After The Christmas Rush is over, I will be able to get back in the s...

rehprof · rehprof

So..my soon to be exA has been drinking for the last 3 years, and for the last year living with his sister (since I asked him to leave). When my 15 and 9 yo boys go to him on the weekend, I know there are other influences in the home to keep them safe. Saturday he calls me and tells me that he and his best friend...

kris10 · kris10

I have been doing good at not reacting lately if I do say so myself... But there is a line you just DON'T cross with a mother... Lastnight it was the usual "can I have a cigarette" I say no and he takes them anyways when I fall asleep for 2 seconds.... Not worth my breath.... I say no you can't take t...

atheos · atheos

My sponsor and I have agreed that for three months, I will not spend an evening at home alone. It's not totally a 90/90, because some evenings will be activities other than meetings, but the idea is to break this habit of isolating and replace it with a feeling that being around people is normal. This wil...

danni · danni

So my AH drank last night after I went to sleep (which is when he has been doing his drinking lately--frankly this is a relief for me), and he left our apt patio door unlocked. He is constantly reminding me to lock the door, since we are on the first floor off of a busy street. If he hadn't been drinking, he...

ifa · ifa

My bf has diabetes and -- not everyone knows this -- they can have the same kind of unpredictable moodiness as an A. My ex h was an A, and he would go into sudden rages and say whatever he could think of to make me feel bad. Bf stopped by today, in the midst of a blood sugar crash. I stupidly forgot that he can't t...

ifa · ifa

With all the miserable job stress in my life these days, I still have reasons to thank my HP. I had a wonderful time today, and by "coinciidence" met some people who are going through similar experiences at work. We are in our late 50s and are much older than our co-workers. We feel excluded, a...

John · John

Hello and Happy Holiday Season,Every December I ask everyone who is listed on the Miracles In Progress message boards to help me bring a awesomely memoriable Holiday to the many newcomers in the Miracles In Progress Recovery Houses by simply sending each house member a Holiday Card, and signing it w...

Jen · Jen

I am finding that I have problems with reacting to my kids. I take too many things personally that are just the way kids are. I also tend to want them to act older than they are for my convenience. That is not fair to them. They are just kids. They dont mean anything when they complain about a meal or get into...

lightblue2 · lightblue2

I have a mulberry tree in my backyard. It grows fast and when it does it is over my neighbours fence a fair way. At times I love the tree.. the food and shelter and protection it can give the birds. It brings the birds around my home and it provides for them in a natural way. At times I have cut the tree back, whe...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Hello Family, I am grateful to be able to come here in safety, trusting that I will receive objective and healthy feedback. I am facing a dilemma right now in my present relationship and cannot sit in denial any longer. My bf is a recovering A who has a back injury for which he takes prescription drugs for...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I had a big breakthrough yesterday in realising that I now want a different kind of relationship if I ever get into one again. Since I have not dated much at all (no dates this year thus far)... At one time I wanted an all encompassing love, a love that took up all my time and which my life rotated around. I...

nyc018 · nyc018

I don't know how to deal with things today. I'm separated from AH. He's been sober over 3 mos after a series of binges that drove him insane and made him lose his job. He's now in AA and working with a sponsor, but has a long way to go emotionally.He visits me and our son every weekend. Some days are better t...

BThom61 · BThom61

I am very unhappy now. I am sitting at work, it's 10:57pm on Friday. He just called he's drunk, doesn't know when he got home or how. Unless he passes out, he will continue to call me. I don't want to be home right now. Because he will begin to put me down, and blame me for everything. My girls go stay at friend...

lightenedbyenlightenment · lightenedbyenlightenment

enter your safe world as a fledgling out of my 6 year chaos. I just want to say thank you. Because of this forum online I have successfully broken communication with my A now for nearly 2 whole days. I find myself reading over everyone's posts and finding the truth and strength to resist relapse back int...

atheos · atheos

I've been doing a lot of thinking (or navel-gazing) recently about why I am having so much trouble with the end of step 3 and beginning of step 4, and I think I finally found the root of that -- I don't believe my mistakes will be forgiven. I have a hard time trusting people because I know I will eventually ma...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi Everyone As you know we are doing a Step every 2 weeks on the Step Work Board. Today we have started to share on the Second Step Please join us so we can all learn and grow http://stepwork.activeboard.com -- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 11th of December 2011 08:15:22 PM

Michelle814 · Michelle814

It's a good day to be me. Some AA guys tried to tell me I was not "keeping it simple enough" because I was talking of my spiritual awakenings. The beautiful thing about Al-Anon is that it taught me that it's okay to just live and let live. They can disagree with me, I will simply stop talking a...

Christie92 · Christie92

Hi. I've been on here before about a year and a half ago...things with my son were not good and then started to get better. They were really on the upswing...long story so I'll just leave it at that. He is now 19 years old. He graduated from High School (a great day)...and was really making choiced to ge...

annonymous · annonymous

My fiance drinks every day en gets drunk everyday. I can't stand it anymore! I am exhausted! I know my hormones are confused during pregnancy, but this is really getting out of hand.. How do I handle it? Because we had lot of fights and he just doesn't want to listen to me, as if he doesn't care. any help pl...

Jen · Jen

I have not started my own topic on this board in a long, long time, but I wanted to tell you all about my day yesterday. Sober AH and I took the kids (11,5,1 yo) to a science museum. What a neat day we had. Its a hands on, touch everything kind of place for the kids. There is an art room where my 5 yo and 1 yo could pa...

John · John

Hi Everyone, We are now on Step Two, on the Step Work Board. Please use the link below to join us there and participate in the Step Work discussion. We simply ask that you only respond in the 12 step group area you are aligned with, and you stay focused on the current step being addressed. You can ask que...

oldergal · oldergal

Thank You Maryjane and Surfgirl I find these excellent phrases to put in your "tool kit". I laughed out loud when I heard the "Oh, So, and Go", because that is so to the point, straightforward and easy to remember, and I must say a little sassy when you are interacting with your, A...

Pushka · Pushka

I had an amazing trip home I have decided that some airports are much nicer to fly through than others, ironically the one I got felt up in wasn't the worst of them. I did get to fly on my own private jet .. lol .. it was an 8 passenger Cessna and I was the only passenger on it. It was just a fantastic flight. ...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I had so much to say today but I managed to lose my post. I guess maybe the post was for me. I hope someday that I can recreate what I said to all of you if it seems like the right time. It just basically said where my heart was at the time & all the realizations that I had this last week & especially last n...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

HERE I GO AGAIN! CAPITAL LETTERS! now back to normal. I am not too thrilled again w/ my mom. She is definitely OCD among other things. She is too controlling & has major issues w/ money. I am somewhat like her but definitely in recovery. Anyhow, my latest beef is that my MOM is so obsessive about stupi...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

72 days, 12 weeks, about 2 1/2 months I've thought a lot about this time frame. I figured out on the calendar that 2 1/2 months into my own marriage was right around August 22. At that point in time the biggest question I had was what would my next step be. The truth is I could have had my own 72 day marriage...

John · John

The Umbrella of Faithby John F.IntroductionDuring the hard times, when everything seems to be off course, when life is taking us down the path of despair, when we are feeling trapped, and sadness, sorrow and fear seems to invade every area of our lives, what can we do to find the light of hope and healin...

kris10 · kris10

So, I've finally come to the conclusion that in my relationship, the bad out weighs the good...by far.. I guess I've known this for a while but didn't want to really let myself say it... I think a relationship should be equal.. We should be getting back as much as we put in... Well, I am getting back little...

John · John

Hi Everyone, Several members have indicated that they are having a problem entering the chat room, so I thought I would take moment to address the best method of resolving the issue. ******* First, make sure you have the updated version of java software on your computer. It's free, doesn't cost a di...

Xenther · Xenther

I grew up with an alcoholic father. Spent a lot of nights pretending to be asleep but afraid to do so because I wasnt sure what was going to happen next and a lot of days trying to anticipate when things were going to go off the rails. I worshiped my dad when he wasnt drunk and feared and hated him when he was. A...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

After another long day at work got home to the emotional roller coast I call my AH. He was 'up' when I got hom, agitated, hyper, I'm pretty sure he had been drinking. Then he swings the other way and starts crying after watching a TV show, it was a comedy, he said it made him sad. He literally cried for an hou...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I love the movie Rainmaker with Burt Lancaster and Katherine Hepburn. I identify with Lizzy - being treated like she was a challenging daughter to marry off because she wasn't conventionally "pretty". Makes me glad to grow up in the era I did, I wasn't just a challenging daughter to marry o...

tired of trying · tired of trying

My AH is still not drinking-have gone through weeks of ups and downs-totally confusing-one day he wants to leave, the marriage is over, then he feels left out, then he wants to move in the garage, then he is trying to do things around the house, still no touching, still sleeping on a cot in the man cave, bu...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

thanks for your comments about the VA incident! I am getting over it as the date is the 9th & it happened on the 5th. I have so much else to obsess about that I can't even mention them all! I see over 100 of you viewed my post--I think that was a RECORD for me! I am STILL & WILL ALWAYS BE a WORK in Progress...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I have been working to show acceptance. I have stated I accept you just as you are. I don't qualify that with but I don't like your choices. The result the 1/2 gallon whiskey bottle is back on the shelf with the dishes instead of hidden wherever it was. A bottle was purchased on Thursday, said bottle was go...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I love these boards. I like the constructive criticism and the praise and encouragement I receive. I want to thank the members who read and respond to my rambles. I know that they are not always 100% on track but I am learning and growing one day at a time. Thank you for being patient with me and for liste...

rootzy · rootzy

My sister and brother in law have given us custody of their two children due to ROXY abuse. They indicate they are sober however last few instances they have been lethargic, falling asleep even. Their pupils are extremely dialated. They indicate they are going to NA and are working the program. THey h...

rehprof · rehprof

so..been venting here and getting lots of support...cause honestly, this recent break up has me in a funk..and fighting to find a reason to stay alive...thats how far down I am... I'm trying to be kind to myself and explore the nature of this deep sadness. Here's my conclusion...about the breakup.. F...

Pushka · Pushka

I have to admit I am surprised by how great this visit was, it was a LOT of fun to be out here with my mom. I think I ate my way through much of the city good grief there went another 20lbs! It was worth it!! I miss the food, the culture, the diversity, the sights and the smells. It was so nice not to smell burn...

rosielee · rosielee

just wanted t say...i have been having insomnia for last 6 mnths- and yesterday was a bad day...if i lost my perspective- or my cool....thats why. i forget that i am tired...and end up steaming through the day...and when i have an emotionally bad day....like today i woke up at 3 am this morning and hav...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, Just and update for anyone who's followed my endless breakup, I don't want to create a mystery since I've been here less often. [ computer implosion plus business ] Long story short the stay away order is in effect and my ex did not show up for the hearing, thank goodness, he went into...

Debilyn · Debilyn

ya know I got more bs from him. I realized he is drunk. Nothing makes sense. Of course I gave it to hp. I feel so relieved, serene. It was like I came in a newbie and you guys reminded me again all the stuff I needed. I mean if he does not pay now, when I go to court he will owe more than double with the fees. It's no...

John · John

Hi Everyone, As many of you know I broke both of my wrist, a hand and an elbow recently and therefore am not able to work my pressure washing and painting business right now, with one arm in a cast and the other in a particle cast. Therefore, I do not have the funds to pay all the expenses related to Miracles...

orchidlover · orchidlover

One really big characteristic of my last relationship with the ex A (I have not had many since then so that is about it!) was that I rushed in. I rushed in without thinking who I was getting involved with. Up into now I have not really taken that much responsibility for my part in it. Of course he snowed me...

jessicat · jessicat

Today is a bad day. I have been at work for three hours and have done nothing but shut my door, cry, scour the internet for help on what to do, cry some more, then cry some more again. I don't know how to get through times like this. I've decided not to make any decisions about my marriage right now. So I know th...

Minaret · Minaret

My active A lies all the time, but his time has always been accountable for and he maintains that he has always been loyal and thinks cheating is one of the worst things someone could do to another in a relationship. He can be a bit jealous, but only when drinking. I've begun to doubt this now. Lately he a be...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

My HP led me on a spiritual journey again last night. I met up with a friend I just made a few months back when I started Al-Anon. We went to a new comer's meeting together but before that we talked for a long while about compassion.. not just for the A in our life but for everyone. Before we went to the new c...

Debilyn · Debilyn

OMGosh how the heck do you do it??? You who live with A's you have to love them a lot. I am not sure I should even be here anymore, but its home! This tenant is an A no question. The insanity of how he thinks is beyond what I remember. He lies, makes no sense. Says one thing, does another, lies some more. Keeps p...

_heather_ · _heather_

So I had a breakthrough with my AH yesterday....we actually communicated. It felt so good to actually be able to talk to him and have a conversation. It was a lot of him venting/sharing his feelings (which he has NEVER done) and me listening. I know that he has a hard time just listening to me when I sha...

_heather_ · _heather_

I found out last night from my dad that my AH was in the hospital. He had been texting my dad because he didn't want to call me and tell me where he was. He had called his mother to bring him to the hospital...and nobody notified me. I am his primary contact...I am his wife regardless of what is going on in ou...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

The last sentence of the 11th Tradition says, "...We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members." We read the Traditions at the F2F meeting I attend. I know the Traditions can seem kind of boring and unimportant. But, I can't tell you the number of times one of the Tradition...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

Thanks so much to those on this board who directed me to the Alanon pamphlet, "A Merry-Go-Round Named Denial." Although there were parts of it that rang so true to me that it was almost too painful to absorb, there was almost a sense of relief to know that others have experienced what our fami...

cinders · cinders

After 8 years of living with my husband's drinking and his constant complaints about how it is too hard to live with me and my 4 children (from previous marriage) I told him to decide, stay and get help, go to counseling and work through this together or go. He chose to go. He moved out on Saturday. Sayi...

Jozie · Jozie

Often Times on this Journey thru life, I find that I Tend to Jump from Step to Step... Not So Much in order but to my choosing... I have a Dear Friend that Told me to Work them anyway I Wanted as long as I eventually got to them all... :) And I have, but this time of Year I tend to CLING too Step Eleven... Sought th...

rehprof · rehprof

So...I have been separated for a year..currently divorcing from AH. been dating a guy exclusively for about 6 months -- and today we decided to date others...mostly because he feels he can't give me what I need in a relationship -- because he has emotional scars from previous relationships. Intelle...

John · John

I place here a link to the AA groups message board, that goes directly to the post of my speaking at the Tri City Conference of AA, on Oct 21st, 2011. If you would like to listen to it, please click the link. I just prefer to not place AA material such as this on the Al-Anon board. If you listen to it, and woul...

atheos · atheos

Had a 1st appointment with a psychologist today. My sponsor's been recommending that for a while. It went OK, and the doctor seemed nice, but I'm really scared he'll think I'm a chronic whiner who's just wasting his time when his other patients have *real* problems... I've decided to stick it out for a...

amills4294 · amills4294

My spouse's car is in the shop - it has been so many times over the past few months. The mechanic he goes to is across town. I've been more then willing to take him to drop his car off and pick him up many times. His car problems are a sore issue. It was another one of his purchases that was made out of impul...

rosielee · rosielee

i was on the receiving end of my mums verbal and physical abuse from an early age- thrugh to my teens and then into my twenties and early thirties. you react to criticism and negativity when you are too yung to know better- and in yur teens you deffinitely do...but somewhere along the lines it dawned on m...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Tuesday Night Alanon Meeting in MIP Chat... (Preview) I am unable to chair my regular Tuesday Night Alanon Meeting in our Alanon Chat room for this Tuesday (December 13th) and next Tuesday (December 20th). I am hoping someone will be gracious and step up for me so our Holidays Needs are met. After The Christmas Rush is over, I will be able to get back in the s...	lacewing	0	1139	Dec 12, 2011 by lacewing
	How do I keep my kids safe? (Preview) So..my soon to be exA has been drinking for the last 3 years, and for the last year living with his sister (since I asked him to leave). When my 15 and 9 yo boys go to him on the weekend, I know there are other influences in the home to keep them safe. Saturday he calls me and tells me that he and his best friend...	rehprof	9	480	Dec 12, 2011 by Pushka
	momma bear syndrom.....grrrrr (Preview) I have been doing good at not reacting lately if I do say so myself... But there is a line you just DON'T cross with a mother... Lastnight it was the usual "can I have a cigarette" I say no and he takes them anyways when I fall asleep for 2 seconds.... Not worth my breath.... I say no you can't take t...	kris10	12	568	Dec 12, 2011 by Pushka
	Three months = a new habit (Preview) My sponsor and I have agreed that for three months, I will not spend an evening at home alone. It's not totally a 90/90, because some evenings will be activities other than meetings, but the idea is to break this habit of isolating and replace it with a feeling that being around people is normal. This wil...	atheos	6	287	Dec 12, 2011 by pinkchip
	Door left unlocked (Preview) So my AH drank last night after I went to sleep (which is when he has been doing his drinking lately--frankly this is a relief for me), and he left our apt patio door unlocked. He is constantly reminding me to lock the door, since we are on the first floor off of a busy street. If he hadn't been drinking, he...	danni	10	425	Dec 12, 2011 by danni
	might as well be A (Preview) My bf has diabetes and -- not everyone knows this -- they can have the same kind of unpredictable moodiness as an A. My ex h was an A, and he would go into sudden rages and say whatever he could think of to make me feel bad. Bf stopped by today, in the midst of a blood sugar crash. I stupidly forgot that he can't t...	ifa	13	797	Dec 12, 2011 by ifa
	Thank you HP (Preview) With all the miserable job stress in my life these days, I still have reasons to thank my HP. I had a wonderful time today, and by "coinciidence" met some people who are going through similar experiences at work. We are in our late 50s and are much older than our co-workers. We feel excluded, a...	ifa	7	266	Dec 12, 2011 by ifa
	Christmas Card Request (Preview) Hello and Happy Holiday Season,Every December I ask everyone who is listed on the Miracles In Progress message boards to help me bring a awesomely memoriable Holiday to the many newcomers in the Miracles In Progress Recovery Houses by simply sending each house member a Holiday Card, and signing it w...	John	0	423	Dec 12, 2011 by John
	Kid stuff (Preview) I am finding that I have problems with reacting to my kids. I take too many things personally that are just the way kids are. I also tend to want them to act older than they are for my convenience. That is not fair to them. They are just kids. They dont mean anything when they complain about a meal or get into...	Jen	2	264	Dec 12, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	I have a tree (Preview) I have a mulberry tree in my backyard. It grows fast and when it does it is over my neighbours fence a fair way. At times I love the tree.. the food and shelter and protection it can give the birds. It brings the birds around my home and it provides for them in a natural way. At times I have cut the tree back, whe...	lightblue2	5	422	Dec 12, 2011 by lightblue2
	Don't Need to Be Right- Just Need to Be Happy (Preview) Hello Family, I am grateful to be able to come here in safety, trusting that I will receive objective and healthy feedback. I am facing a dilemma right now in my present relationship and cannot sit in denial any longer. My bf is a recovering A who has a back injury for which he takes prescription drugs for...	Saved By Grace	7	641	Dec 12, 2011 by Saved By Grace
	Degrees of love (Preview) I had a big breakthrough yesterday in realising that I now want a different kind of relationship if I ever get into one again. Since I have not dated much at all (no dates this year thus far)... At one time I wanted an all encompassing love, a love that took up all my time and which my life rotated around. I...	orchidlover	10	630	Dec 12, 2011 by orchidlover
	I feel like exploding (Preview) I don't know how to deal with things today. I'm separated from AH. He's been sober over 3 mos after a series of binges that drove him insane and made him lose his job. He's now in AA and working with a sponsor, but has a long way to go emotionally.He visits me and our son every weekend. Some days are better t...	nyc018	7	547	Dec 12, 2011 by never going back
	Alcoholic Husband doesn't know when to stop (Preview) I am very unhappy now. I am sitting at work, it's 10:57pm on Friday. He just called he's drunk, doesn't know when he got home or how. Unless he passes out, he will continue to call me. I don't want to be home right now. Because he will begin to put me down, and blame me for everything. My girls go stay at friend...	BThom61	5	752	Dec 12, 2011 by never going back
	The beginning of the end (Preview) enter your safe world as a fledgling out of my 6 year chaos. I just want to say thank you. Because of this forum online I have successfully broken communication with my A now for nearly 2 whole days. I find myself reading over everyone's posts and finding the truth and strength to resist relapse back int...	lightenedbyenlightenment	10	651	Dec 12, 2011 by never going back
	Knowing the problem helps! (Preview) I've been doing a lot of thinking (or navel-gazing) recently about why I am having so much trouble with the end of step 3 and beginning of step 4, and I think I finally found the root of that -- I don't believe my mistakes will be forgiven. I have a hard time trusting people because I know I will eventually ma...	atheos	6	313	Dec 12, 2011 by Michelle814
	Step 2 on the Step Work Board (Preview) Hi Everyone As you know we are doing a Step every 2 weeks on the Step Work Board. Today we have started to share on the Second Step Please join us so we can all learn and grow http://stepwork.activeboard.com -- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 11th of December 2011 08:15:22 PM	hotrod	1	231	Dec 12, 2011 by pineapple
	Grinning from Ear to Ear (Preview) It's a good day to be me. Some AA guys tried to tell me I was not "keeping it simple enough" because I was talking of my spiritual awakenings. The beautiful thing about Al-Anon is that it taught me that it's okay to just live and let live. They can disagree with me, I will simply stop talking a...	Michelle814	10	621	Dec 12, 2011 by Michelle814
	Wondering... (Preview) Hi. I've been on here before about a year and a half ago...things with my son were not good and then started to get better. They were really on the upswing...long story so I'll just leave it at that. He is now 19 years old. He graduated from High School (a great day)...and was really making choiced to ge...	Christie92	11	613	Dec 12, 2011 by Christie92
	I am 5 months pregnant and Fiance drinking everyday, what to do????? (Preview) My fiance drinks every day en gets drunk everyday. I can't stand it anymore! I am exhausted! I know my hormones are confused during pregnancy, but this is really getting out of hand.. How do I handle it? Because we had lot of fights and he just doesn't want to listen to me, as if he doesn't care. any help pl...	annonymous	15	920	Dec 12, 2011 by grantmeserenity
	Change is good. (Preview) I have not started my own topic on this board in a long, long time, but I wanted to tell you all about my day yesterday. Sober AH and I took the kids (11,5,1 yo) to a science museum. What a neat day we had. Its a hands on, touch everything kind of place for the kids. There is an art room where my 5 yo and 1 yo could pa...	Jen	2	237	Dec 11, 2011 by Pushka
	Step Two - Step Work Board (Preview) Hi Everyone, We are now on Step Two, on the Step Work Board. Please use the link below to join us there and participate in the Step Work discussion. We simply ask that you only respond in the 12 step group area you are aligned with, and you stay focused on the current step being addressed. You can ask que...	John	0	205	Dec 11, 2011 by John
	"Oh, So, and Go" and Blah, Blah, Blah! (Preview) Thank You Maryjane and Surfgirl I find these excellent phrases to put in your "tool kit". I laughed out loud when I heard the "Oh, So, and Go", because that is so to the point, straightforward and easy to remember, and I must say a little sassy when you are interacting with your, A...	oldergal	1	380	Dec 11, 2011 by maryjane
	Home Again :) (Preview) I had an amazing trip home I have decided that some airports are much nicer to fly through than others, ironically the one I got felt up in wasn't the worst of them. I did get to fly on my own private jet .. lol .. it was an 8 passenger Cessna and I was the only passenger on it. It was just a fantastic flight. ...	Pushka	5	331	Dec 11, 2011 by pineapple
	i lost my post! (Preview) I had so much to say today but I managed to lose my post. I guess maybe the post was for me. I hope someday that I can recreate what I said to all of you if it seems like the right time. It just basically said where my heart was at the time & all the realizations that I had this last week & especially last n...	Hoot Nanny	1	380	Dec 11, 2011 by Jen
	again & again! do I always repeat myself? (Preview) HERE I GO AGAIN! CAPITAL LETTERS! now back to normal. I am not too thrilled again w/ my mom. She is definitely OCD among other things. She is too controlling & has major issues w/ money. I am somewhat like her but definitely in recovery. Anyhow, my latest beef is that my MOM is so obsessive about stupi...	Hoot Nanny	6	774	Dec 11, 2011 by Jen
	2 1/2 months and 2 months (Preview) 72 days, 12 weeks, about 2 1/2 months I've thought a lot about this time frame. I figured out on the calendar that 2 1/2 months into my own marriage was right around August 22. At that point in time the biggest question I had was what would my next step be. The truth is I could have had my own 72 day marriage...	Jackie11	15	599	Dec 11, 2011 by Jackie11
	The Umbrella of Faith (Preview) The Umbrella of Faithby John F.IntroductionDuring the hard times, when everything seems to be off course, when life is taking us down the path of despair, when we are feeling trapped, and sadness, sorrow and fear seems to invade every area of our lives, what can we do to find the light of hope and healin...	John	11	615	Dec 10, 2011 by hotrod
	When in doubt...type it out??? (Preview) So, I've finally come to the conclusion that in my relationship, the bad out weighs the good...by far.. I guess I've known this for a while but didn't want to really let myself say it... I think a relationship should be equal.. We should be getting back as much as we put in... Well, I am getting back little...	kris10	20	748	Dec 10, 2011 by kris10
	Chatroom Issues... Getting in to it ?? (Preview) Hi Everyone, Several members have indicated that they are having a problem entering the chat room, so I thought I would take moment to address the best method of resolving the issue. ******* First, make sure you have the updated version of java software on your computer. It's free, doesn't cost a di...	John	2	511	Dec 10, 2011 by ladysoblue
	Son of an alcoholic dating a drinker (Preview) I grew up with an alcoholic father. Spent a lot of nights pretending to be asleep but afraid to do so because I wasnt sure what was going to happen next and a lot of days trying to anticipate when things were going to go off the rails. I worshiped my dad when he wasnt drunk and feared and hated him when he was. A...	Xenther	6	566	Dec 10, 2011 by pinkchip
	All I Hear Now is "Blah Blah Blah" (Preview) After another long day at work got home to the emotional roller coast I call my AH. He was 'up' when I got hom, agitated, hyper, I'm pretty sure he had been drinking. Then he swings the other way and starts crying after watching a TV show, it was a comedy, he said it made him sad. He literally cried for an hou...	surfgirl123	11	583	Dec 10, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Self-Esteem (Preview) I love the movie Rainmaker with Burt Lancaster and Katherine Hepburn. I identify with Lizzy - being treated like she was a challenging daughter to marry off because she wasn't conventionally "pretty". Makes me glad to grow up in the era I did, I wasn't just a challenging daughter to marry o...	likemyheart	9	599	Dec 9, 2011 by hotrod
	update (Preview) My AH is still not drinking-have gone through weeks of ups and downs-totally confusing-one day he wants to leave, the marriage is over, then he feels left out, then he wants to move in the garage, then he is trying to do things around the house, still no touching, still sleeping on a cot in the man cave, bu...	tired of trying	1	301	Dec 9, 2011 by hotrod
	thanks for your comments! (Preview) thanks for your comments about the VA incident! I am getting over it as the date is the 9th & it happened on the 5th. I have so much else to obsess about that I can't even mention them all! I see over 100 of you viewed my post--I think that was a RECORD for me! I am STILL & WILL ALWAYS BE a WORK in Progress...	Hoot Nanny	0	263	Dec 9, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	denial (Preview) I have been working to show acceptance. I have stated I accept you just as you are. I don't qualify that with but I don't like your choices. The result the 1/2 gallon whiskey bottle is back on the shelf with the dishes instead of hidden wherever it was. A bottle was purchased on Thursday, said bottle was go...	Jackie11	12	614	Dec 9, 2011 by tired of trying
	The Grass is Greener on MY Side (Preview) I love these boards. I like the constructive criticism and the praise and encouragement I receive. I want to thank the members who read and respond to my rambles. I know that they are not always 100% on track but I am learning and growing one day at a time. Thank you for being patient with me and for liste...	Michelle814	9	375	Dec 9, 2011 by Michelle814
	Believe bro-in-law using ROXY/BLUE- PLEASE HELP (Preview) My sister and brother in law have given us custody of their two children due to ROXY abuse. They indicate they are sober however last few instances they have been lethargic, falling asleep even. Their pupils are extremely dialated. They indicate they are going to NA and are working the program. THey h...	rootzy	9	405	Dec 9, 2011 by rootzy
	Slogging through depression (Preview) so..been venting here and getting lots of support...cause honestly, this recent break up has me in a funk..and fighting to find a reason to stay alive...thats how far down I am... I'm trying to be kind to myself and explore the nature of this deep sadness. Here's my conclusion...about the breakup.. F...	rehprof	13	579	Dec 9, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Leaving on a jet plane :) (Preview) I have to admit I am surprised by how great this visit was, it was a LOT of fun to be out here with my mom. I think I ate my way through much of the city good grief there went another 20lbs! It was worth it!! I miss the food, the culture, the diversity, the sights and the smells. It was so nice not to smell burn...	Pushka	10	414	Dec 9, 2011 by GailMichelle
	i was dreadfully tired yesterday (Preview) just wanted t say...i have been having insomnia for last 6 mnths- and yesterday was a bad day...if i lost my perspective- or my cool....thats why. i forget that i am tired...and end up steaming through the day...and when i have an emotionally bad day....like today i woke up at 3 am this morning and hav...	rosielee	3	384	Dec 8, 2011 by pineapple
	Update only, no drama [ YAY! ] (Preview) Hey everybody, Just and update for anyone who's followed my endless breakup, I don't want to create a mystery since I've been here less often. [ computer implosion plus business ] Long story short the stay away order is in effect and my ex did not show up for the hearing, thank goodness, he went into...	rara avis	4	366	Dec 8, 2011 by likemyheart
	you guys are so great (Preview) ya know I got more bs from him. I realized he is drunk. Nothing makes sense. Of course I gave it to hp. I feel so relieved, serene. It was like I came in a newbie and you guys reminded me again all the stuff I needed. I mean if he does not pay now, when I go to court he will owe more than double with the fees. It's no...	Debilyn	1	397	Dec 8, 2011 by amills4294
	How you can help this site today... (Preview) Hi Everyone, As many of you know I broke both of my wrist, a hand and an elbow recently and therefore am not able to work my pressure washing and painting business right now, with one arm in a cast and the other in a particle cast. Therefore, I do not have the funds to pay all the expenses related to Miracles...	John	16	2068	Dec 8, 2011 by Sweet Stanley
	Rushing into relationships (Preview) One really big characteristic of my last relationship with the ex A (I have not had many since then so that is about it!) was that I rushed in. I rushed in without thinking who I was getting involved with. Up into now I have not really taken that much responsibility for my part in it. Of course he snowed me...	orchidlover	14	531	Dec 8, 2011 by orchidlover
	How do you get through tough moments/hours/days? (Preview) Today is a bad day. I have been at work for three hours and have done nothing but shut my door, cry, scour the internet for help on what to do, cry some more, then cry some more again. I don't know how to get through times like this. I've decided not to make any decisions about my marriage right now. So I know th...	jessicat	18	639	Dec 8, 2011 by orchidlover
	How would I know if he was cheating? (Preview) My active A lies all the time, but his time has always been accountable for and he maintains that he has always been loyal and thinks cheating is one of the worst things someone could do to another in a relationship. He can be a bit jealous, but only when drinking. I've begun to doubt this now. Lately he a be...	Minaret	8	771	Dec 8, 2011 by orchidlover
	On a Journey with my HP (Preview) My HP led me on a spiritual journey again last night. I met up with a friend I just made a few months back when I started Al-Anon. We went to a new comer's meeting together but before that we talked for a long while about compassion.. not just for the A in our life but for everyone. Before we went to the new c...	Michelle814	5	474	Dec 8, 2011 by Michelle814
	Ok let me tell ya! (Preview) OMGosh how the heck do you do it??? You who live with A's you have to love them a lot. I am not sure I should even be here anymore, but its home! This tenant is an A no question. The insanity of how he thinks is beyond what I remember. He lies, makes no sense. Says one thing, does another, lies some more. Keeps p...	Debilyn	7	495	Dec 8, 2011 by Jozie
	Stuck (Preview) So I had a breakthrough with my AH yesterday....we actually communicated. It felt so good to actually be able to talk to him and have a conversation. It was a lot of him venting/sharing his feelings (which he has NEVER done) and me listening. I know that he has a hard time just listening to me when I sha...	_heather_	7	547	Dec 8, 2011 by Jackie11
	need some serious support (Preview) I found out last night from my dad that my AH was in the hospital. He had been texting my dad because he didn't want to call me and tell me where he was. He had called his mother to bring him to the hospital...and nobody notified me. I am his primary contact...I am his wife regardless of what is going on in ou...	_heather_	10	434	Dec 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	The 11th Tradition + The 12th Step = New Understanding (Preview) The last sentence of the 11th Tradition says, "...We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members." We read the Traditions at the F2F meeting I attend. I know the Traditions can seem kind of boring and unimportant. But, I can't tell you the number of times one of the Tradition...	Very Very Tired	6	787	Dec 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	A Merry-Go-Round Named Denial denial choices merry-go-round (Preview) Thanks so much to those on this board who directed me to the Alanon pamphlet, "A Merry-Go-Round Named Denial." Although there were parts of it that rang so true to me that it was almost too painful to absorb, there was almost a sense of relief to know that others have experienced what our fami...	Green Eyes	6	10761	Dec 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Now what? (Preview) After 8 years of living with my husband's drinking and his constant complaints about how it is too hard to live with me and my 4 children (from previous marriage) I told him to decide, stay and get help, go to counseling and work through this together or go. He chose to go. He moved out on Saturday. Sayi...	cinders	8	430	Dec 7, 2011 by cinders
	My NEED for the 11th Step... (Preview) Often Times on this Journey thru life, I find that I Tend to Jump from Step to Step... Not So Much in order but to my choosing... I have a Dear Friend that Told me to Work them anyway I Wanted as long as I eventually got to them all... :) And I have, but this time of Year I tend to CLING too Step Eleven... Sought th...	Jozie	3	1549	Dec 7, 2011 by Debilyn
	Breaking Up is hard to do (Preview) So...I have been separated for a year..currently divorcing from AH. been dating a guy exclusively for about 6 months -- and today we decided to date others...mostly because he feels he can't give me what I need in a relationship -- because he has emotional scars from previous relationships. Intelle...	rehprof	7	500	Dec 7, 2011 by Rematch--
	AA Speaker Tape - John F. (Tri City Conference 2011) (Preview) I place here a link to the AA groups message board, that goes directly to the post of my speaking at the Tri City Conference of AA, on Oct 21st, 2011. If you would like to listen to it, please click the link. I just prefer to not place AA material such as this on the Al-Anon board. If you listen to it, and woul...	John	11	4048	Dec 7, 2011 by John
	Seeing a therapist (Preview) Had a 1st appointment with a psychologist today. My sponsor's been recommending that for a while. It went OK, and the doctor seemed nice, but I'm really scared he'll think I'm a chronic whiner who's just wasting his time when his other patients have real problems... I've decided to stick it out for a...	atheos	8	431	Dec 7, 2011 by orchidlover
	What am I sooo afraid of? (Preview) My spouse's car is in the shop - it has been so many times over the past few months. The mechanic he goes to is across town. I've been more then willing to take him to drop his car off and pick him up many times. His car problems are a sore issue. It was another one of his purchases that was made out of impul...	amills4294	13	501	Dec 7, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	not having your buttons pushed (Preview) i was on the receiving end of my mums verbal and physical abuse from an early age- thrugh to my teens and then into my twenties and early thirties. you react to criticism and negativity when you are too yung to know better- and in yur teens you deffinitely do...but somewhere along the lines it dawned on m...	rosielee	7	445	Dec 7, 2011 by orchidlover
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.