Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

orchidlover · orchidlover

For me letting go of being a victim has been such a long hard road. Christmas always used to remind me of all I did not have, a loving family, a rich warm homelife, companionship. This Christmas as always people asked me about my family. Those kind of questions used to send me in such turmoil. At one time I...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I hope that people don't think I am being rude or making excuses. But my AH left me with two small children, he spent all our money on alcohol and did not pay the house payment so my house is in foreclosure. I have a childcare bill, that usually people have on two incomes, but I have it on only one income. Mo...

Partynomore · Partynomore

24 years later I have finally admitted I am an alcoholic. As painful as that is for me to say, It is true. As of the day before Christmas my new journey in life starts. My wife has been telling me for years but never listened. I am scared of what my future holds but hopeful that I can be positive role model to my...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Thought I would leave a post on feelings .. My feelings change according to my perceptions and it would seem this week my perception is changing according to my feelings .. I just shared earlier thanks to a great reminder I know feelings aren't facts but through the years I have done so much isolating th...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

People say it would be good to go to an Al Anon meeting, but if I am getting divorced, I don't see the point that person is getting out of my life. I won't be dealing with him any more. It seems like going to Al Anon meetings would just remind me of him and make me think about him all the time, which would delay...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Another Christmas come and gone, but the Spirit lives on .. I'm grateful my Christmas was filled with so much joy, serenity, and true happiness .. I'm also sad it's over and grieving the loss of so much togetherness with family and even my x partner .. He showed up Christmas Eve after midnight which we'd...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha All...I've started or restarted reading some of the AFG literature that my wife and I have in our Library and pulled the Titled book into first place. I decided to mention it here as the "...Making Crises Work for You" part of the title is the focus. It is written from/with Al-Anon m...

Hayes · Hayes

What on earth was I thinking? My partner had a bed come up available for his detox and I asked him to hold it off until after Christmas. It was our second babies first christmas and I didn't know how to explain to our 5 year old that Daddy was sick and couldn't be there....and if I really think about my motive...

Pushka · Pushka

Such a funny thing to trigger a memory, however it does. Something I have to be very aware in myself is not comparing what I do to other people. Really what my mom thought, thank you for the gift of "what other people think of me is none of my business." It has given me such great freedom in my r...

atheos · atheos

Christmas Eve with the family. I'd forgotten how devoid of boundaries, sanity, or even basic respect for other people this can be... Being at another person's mercy to be harassed/insulted whenever/however he wants, SUCKS. And it sucks even more that any objection to this would just lead to him mak...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so sorry to say & sad that my DAD passed away yesterday. I am glad that he is at peace & not suffering anymore. I wanted him to last a lot longer so I could see him again but it was not meant to be. I guess God had other plans. I tried to see him in May but it didn't work out. He was living in CA--900 mile...

Bargee · Bargee

Hi all, I'm just new on here, although not new to having an alcoholic husband. For those of you that don't know me, my husband has been sober 9 months and we're expecting a baby in about 6 weeks (he got sober before we found out so that was lovely). However he has started drinking again. To be fair it's not...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I posted on here before that my AH and I have been seperated with a TRO, also he has told me that he does not care about me, he has no feelings for me, and he does not have to earn my trust back. This is telling me he does not love me at all any more. I have filed for divorce before, but he has not been served with t...

tired of trying · tired of trying

Well yesterday was the first Christmas in 4 years that my AH and also my AD were sober-I didn't have expectations but was hopeful. When my AH was in his early recovery 2 months ago-he told me not to buy anything for his stocking-I said fine and asked that he do the same-I also made a committment to myself no...

dahlia · dahlia

And this is me, pretending to be happy, making the day bright for my son while my husband lies in a coma a mile away from me. His drinking did this. A week ago he was still handsome. A week ago he was strong. A week ago he was talking and laughing and being a dad. I'm not very good at being alone, but I'm trying....

Loupiness · Loupiness

I find it interesting how I suddently "get" it. My latest revelation is that detachment appears to have brought me to acceptance. I got to the point where I felt bombarded, and finally, finally came to the conclusion that others have the choice to live their own life, and so do I. Its not...

Too hard · Too hard

On this Christmas Eve with many memories of difficult and unhappy Christmas Days and holidays behind me I would like to wish all the readers of this site a safe, peaceful and calm Christmas. Whatever the weather - cold, snow or heat, (38c degrees today here) that will not really make much difference to...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I posted on here yesterday that my husband was physically abusive and an alcoholic and addicted to drugs as well. We also have two children together. It all came to a head and his blood alcohol was 4 times the legal limit and he locked himself in our office and took 30 Xanax's and laid down on the couch to...

Jen · Jen

Just wrapping up a wonderful Christmas in a sober home, with my family around, most of the bills paid, a few nice things under the tree for the kids. I am so blessed. After the many years of struggling against this disease, I still have to pinch myself to see if I am really awake. I have all I want, a nice bori...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My mommy bought me a surprise present - a Stephen King novel, 11/22/63 - from the looks of the cover its about the kennedy assasination and back cover makes me think its a what if, what if he hadn't been killed?? Its 849 pages long, and I'm going to curl up and read tonight - sure surprised me though, mom don...

Hayes · Hayes

Ugh! How did I know this would happen?? And why am I trying to change it. He's freaking out. I have three weeks til my due date. He's using badly again because of the anxiety (that's how he explained it). I asked him about cleaning the floors for me this morning. He was saying he needed to lay down. He took it...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all, I hope everyone of you miracles is having a good Christmas weekend. I so love this site and the wonderful ESH here, so much wisdom and compassion. This has been a godsend for me. I'm just going to write out my feelings tonight. I bet some of you will identify with some of this. This is my first Chri...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Merry Christmas Everyone. It's morning here, I'm playing on my laptop while Megamind plays on the tv, not sure why the movie appeals to me, but its cute, entertaining and I'm not ready to stop having it play. Over the last few weeks I've had several people try to convince me of how I should embrace the hol...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I have a couple of questions, how do I find Al Anon meetings? Also, how often is a person suppose to attend these meetings?

LostMama31 · LostMama31

My son had his 4th eye surgery yesterday (glaucoma) and it was deemed successful. However, the followup early this morning showed a little blood has entered the eye so hopefully, it won't continue or it could potentially be bad. I'm praying that his surgeries will stay successful and we'll know in 3-...

kris10 · kris10

To your enemy... Forgiveness. To your opponent... Tolerance. To a friend... Your heart. To a costumer... Service. To all... Charity. To a child... A good example. To yourself... Respect.. Saw this one today and made me think of all you on here!! Thought Id share!! Merry Christmas Everyone...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

My husband is a sweet, loving, kind, funny, intelligent and good man. My alcoholic husband is a tired, anxious, angry, fearful, petty, ashamed boy. Is it bad or unfair that I'm starting to see them as two separate people? Or is this maybe a good or adaptive way for me to handle being his partner? I'm qui...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am excited for tomorrow morning and watching my kids open their gifts. California was Christmas enough for me to be able to get along with my family, so after coming home everything is just a bonus now. I am so grateful for my kids and their health! I am having my exAH and his parents over in the morning...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Maybe I missed a share about her being gone for awhile, but I have been looking to see her post again and it seems to have been awhile. After her late night scare awhile back I often think of her. If anyone knows I would greatly appreciate putting my mind at ease.

Christie92 · Christie92

Hello Everyone... If someone started drinking at the age of 13...not a lot but it progressed over the years and got worse when they were 16, 17 and up...to the point where it's excessive drinking quite often...what type of effects does this have physcially by the time they are 19? My son is 19 now...a...

tired of trying · tired of trying

Its been a rough couple months, but things are getting better-for that I am grateful. Last night it hit me this maybe the first Christmas in 4 years without an actively drinking AH-prior to that he had been sober for 15 years-for the last 4 we have rode the relaspe roller coaster especially around the ho...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just real quick: I hope you all have a merry Christmas this year. Me, I am going to do the best I can. I am still grieving as you probably guessed. Today I am angry because my dad left me before Christmas. I had planned it differently of course. But...God had other plans I guess. I was all ready to have one of t...

orchidlover · orchidlover

as you all know I have to work retail and tomorrow is the last major onslaught in the marathon. I hope you all have a calm, peaceful Christmas. I will be and thats a first for me. I can't really wish for anything more than that. My expectations have changed and that is the best gift I can give to myself. M...

sirchef · sirchef

Christmas for so many of us is full of painful hurtful as well as beautiful memories. Whether the pain was cause in our childhood our teenaged years or the challenges of realtionships in our adult life . The thing we need to avoid giving life to the ghosts of Christmas past dreading the ghosts of Christ...

rara avis · rara avis

Twinge of fear: Checking my phone messages, a neighbor reported possibly seeing my ex RA's car idling out in front of my house. Considering the 100 yrd. stay away order in place, that is not good. I'm feeling kind of afraid, but not a lot. Gratitude: My neighbors are really cool! So glad they're lookin...

amills4294 · amills4294

I haven't posted in a while but have been trying to read others posts when I can. Work has been really busy and frankly I've gone into auto pilot over the holiday. I know it's probably a mistake to not deal with the things that are right in front of me but the holidays are a tough time for me inspite of the se...

gladysg · gladysg

I went to a real estate class at around 1 pm. He asked me what time was I coming home before I left. I told him around 4. When I got home the car jack was outside. When I went to put it back the jet ski was gone (we live up north). Then I went to his computer room and it was gone as well as his papers, and then the close...

atheos · atheos

I have been in Al-Anon for 8 months now. Since starting the program, I have: - Experienced a drastically improved relationship with my sister - Been able to lower my dosage of anxiety meds, and am now tapering off Prozac - Left a job that had bad pay, bad hours, and lots of insanity, and replaced it with a j...

kris10 · kris10

Well my A called today asked if he could come over. I said yes (assuming he was coming to get his things or MAYBE give me some money he owes me) Was kind of strange to hear him ring the door bell... First off I was assuming he would be high out of his mind because he got paid the other day... He wasn't... My son wh...

danni · danni

I know in the scheme of things, this isn't the worst that can happen, but after beautifully detatching all morning (with my two little ones) from the knowledge that my husband got loaded last night after I went to bed, I find the door unlocked AGAIN. I'm furious. Last time, after posting here and spea...

John · John

The journey has been long, and it has been hard...But the adventure of living life, each day has been worth it.I've learned and I'm still teachable, I have grown, but still growing,I do not seek an applause, for to do so would be the same as applauding a cowboy with hemroids for not riding his horse any m...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Here we go again with the crying. I am sitting in my office at work feeling like a bit of a failure.... ok.. a complete failure. Its 9 am on the 23 December. A time I am usually really happy cos I love Christmas. I feel really rejected. I had that argument with my brother on Monday. Wednesday I had a lunch...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Well everyone... have a great Christmas and an even better New Year. Its Friday lunch time here and I am gonna knock off home early from work to do the last minute things. (EKO, early knock off) We here in Darwin are on a cyclone watch (hurricane), so have to do a little bit of clearing up to do. Hubby has b...

callmemara · callmemara

My husband was drunk tonight. He came in while I was sitting on the couch watching TV. He then started groping me and trying to stick his tounge down my shirt. It was really getting annoying. He kept saying they were his boobies and I was being disrespectful by not giving him "what was his". i j...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I am so glad I found this message board. I need to share with someone what I have gone through. I am starting counseling but not for 2 more weeks. My husband lost his job and starting drinking and then started hitting, choking, and becoming violent with me. My husband would not allow me to go in the gar...

nyc018 · nyc018

I am struggling to use my relatively new-found Alanon tools - just for today. My AH, from whom I've been separated for several months, has lived with his mom since our separation. This followed a summer where he drank himself to insanity and lost his job. He has been sober since coming back from a 3 week r...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi All, I'm ashamed to say that I exploded in verbally at a neighbour who had sexually abused my daughter. He was walking down the road alone (we live in the country) when I drove around the corner, spotted him, slowed down and started yelling at him. This was while my other children were in the car with...

rehprof · rehprof

So, my soon to be ex AH called this morning to see if I would lend him $30 to cover his snowmobile insurance which is due tomorrow. My gosh -- he has had to pay his snowmobile payment (!), his OWN vehicle insurance (1), and his own cell phone (!) ..for the last 2-3 months!!! (i paid it previously) Now he has no...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

How has my self esteem grown since coming to Al-Anon? I have learned, with the help of my higher power and my lovely friends at Al-Anon how to admit my flaws, humbly ask God to remove my short comings, and at the same time remember all I have to offer the world and all the good qualities that I possess. I was a...

Moon_Beam · Moon_Beam

*waves* The wonderful people on the AA board said this was a great place to learn about living with an alcoholic. Not that its new to me. I am a adult child of 2 alcoholic parents. My husband is also a child of an alcoholic and an alcoholic himself. We have been married for 4 months and things are not going...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi MIP Family I will not be available during the Holiday Season so I have posted the Alanon 3 rd Step to the Step work Board today I hope everyone has a Happy Holiday Season -- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 22nd of December 2011 03:32:46 PM

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

In fact, the hardware store has never had bread. So, stop trying to buy some there. And when you do try to buy bread there, because you know you will forget and try again, don't be upset when they say they don't have any. They have told you repeatedly that they do not carry bread. Believe them. No one is tell...

Pushka · Pushka

Has anyone had any experience with the book? I'm debating about getting it and I've flipped through it and like what it has to say. I"m just not sure if it's a current book anyone is using or what they got out of it. I find that many of the books say similar things, the books are used in different way...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

A year ago my head was spinning, I couldn't spend anytime alone and had left my AH a couple months before, so I jumped into dating a very unhealthy guy and couldn't figure out how to stop all the crazy cycles going on. I was miserable, didn't like myself and was obsessed and so very judgemental towards eve...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL! I realize that this time of year can be very trying to all of us. Remember to bring your toolbox with you where ever you go! Just today I had to dig in mine in order to not start WW III. My hubby accidently spilled his coffee on my laptop. At first, there didn't seem to be any damage. H...

Moon_Beam · Moon_Beam

So after spending hours pouring over everyone's stories and advice. I know this I want to have Christmas this year. I am ready for this massive step. All of my life holidays have been a fear of mine. I am my familys black sheep, and all but one of my mothers 5 siblings are alcoholics and substance abuser...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

It's easy to forget how important it is to continue working on ourselves during the peaceful times. That doesn't mean walking on eggshells waiting for the crisis to start anew, but it does mean staying focused on the things that help us to grow and resisting the urge to become complacent. We can &quo...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Well I have been to the psychologist for my 5th appointment. As I said last time, we have worked through emotions, what they are, how they present, identifying primary and secondary emotions. Now we are taking it one step further. Emotion exposure. Identifying the barriers and coping mechanisms th...

kris10 · kris10

So today is/was his payday... Gosh a part of me was really really hoping he would come and give me the money he owes me and say hes sorry and yada yada... Of course that is not what happen.. I can only guess what happen.. I have a pretty good idea.. I havent seen him since the morning I had to send him to jail.. H...

rehprof · rehprof

Today was one of those intense days of insight for me...I have been hurting so much, but learning too... I learned today that at times I use my "victim" status so that people will come to my rescue...why? I think I am only worthy of attention if I am sick, or down and out...people can't love me...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Letting go (Preview) For me letting go of being a victim has been such a long hard road. Christmas always used to remind me of all I did not have, a loving family, a rich warm homelife, companionship. This Christmas as always people asked me about my family. Those kind of questions used to send me in such turmoil. At one time I...	orchidlover	7	524	Dec 27, 2011 by orchidlover
	Al Anon Meetings (Preview) I hope that people don't think I am being rude or making excuses. But my AH left me with two small children, he spent all our money on alcohol and did not pay the house payment so my house is in foreclosure. I have a childcare bill, that usually people have on two incomes, but I have it on only one income. Mo...	ttpurtee	8	522	Dec 27, 2011 by Jackie11
	Finally admitted I am an Alcoholic (Preview) 24 years later I have finally admitted I am an alcoholic. As painful as that is for me to say, It is true. As of the day before Christmas my new journey in life starts. My wife has been telling me for years but never listened. I am scared of what my future holds but hopeful that I can be positive role model to my...	Partynomore	7	690	Dec 27, 2011 by Michelle814
	Feelings .. (Preview) Thought I would leave a post on feelings .. My feelings change according to my perceptions and it would seem this week my perception is changing according to my feelings .. I just shared earlier thanks to a great reminder I know feelings aren't facts but through the years I have done so much isolating th...	MeTwo2	4	445	Dec 27, 2011 by MeTwo2
	Al Anon Meetings (Preview) People say it would be good to go to an Al Anon meeting, but if I am getting divorced, I don't see the point that person is getting out of my life. I won't be dealing with him any more. It seems like going to Al Anon meetings would just remind me of him and make me think about him all the time, which would delay...	ttpurtee	9	738	Dec 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	After holiday blues (Preview) Another Christmas come and gone, but the Spirit lives on .. I'm grateful my Christmas was filled with so much joy, serenity, and true happiness .. I'm also sad it's over and grieving the loss of so much togetherness with family and even my x partner .. He showed up Christmas Eve after midnight which we'd...	MeTwo2	6	523	Dec 27, 2011 by MeTwo2
	In All Our Affairs...Making Crises Work for You.. (Preview) Aloha All...I've started or restarted reading some of the AFG literature that my wife and I have in our Library and pulled the Titled book into first place. I decided to mention it here as the "...Making Crises Work for You" part of the title is the focus. It is written from/with Al-Anon m...	Jerry F	3	949	Dec 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Expectations Backfired (Preview) What on earth was I thinking? My partner had a bed come up available for his detox and I asked him to hold it off until after Christmas. It was our second babies first christmas and I didn't know how to explain to our 5 year old that Daddy was sick and couldn't be there....and if I really think about my motive...	Hayes	7	460	Dec 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Gift wrapping (Preview) Such a funny thing to trigger a memory, however it does. Something I have to be very aware in myself is not comparing what I do to other people. Really what my mom thought, thank you for the gift of "what other people think of me is none of my business." It has given me such great freedom in my r...	Pushka	10	612	Dec 27, 2011 by Jackie11
	Arrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! (Preview) Christmas Eve with the family. I'd forgotten how devoid of boundaries, sanity, or even basic respect for other people this can be... Being at another person's mercy to be harassed/insulted whenever/however he wants, SUCKS. And it sucks even more that any objection to this would just lead to him mak...	atheos	7	480	Dec 27, 2011 by Querida123
	my DAD passed yesterday (Preview) I am so sorry to say & sad that my DAD passed away yesterday. I am glad that he is at peace & not suffering anymore. I wanted him to last a lot longer so I could see him again but it was not meant to be. I guess God had other plans. I tried to see him in May but it didn't work out. He was living in CA--900 mile...	Hoot Nanny	20	890	Dec 26, 2011 by Jen
	How do keep calm? (Preview) Hi all, I'm just new on here, although not new to having an alcoholic husband. For those of you that don't know me, my husband has been sober 9 months and we're expecting a baby in about 6 weeks (he got sober before we found out so that was lovely). However he has started drinking again. To be fair it's not...	Bargee	10	892	Dec 26, 2011 by Bargee
	Divorce (Preview) I posted on here before that my AH and I have been seperated with a TRO, also he has told me that he does not care about me, he has no feelings for me, and he does not have to earn my trust back. This is telling me he does not love me at all any more. I have filed for divorce before, but he has not been served with t...	ttpurtee	6	1048	Dec 26, 2011 by Jerry F
	Christmas-how it went (Preview) Well yesterday was the first Christmas in 4 years that my AH and also my AD were sober-I didn't have expectations but was hopeful. When my AH was in his early recovery 2 months ago-he told me not to buy anything for his stocking-I said fine and asked that he do the same-I also made a committment to myself no...	tired of trying	3	401	Dec 26, 2011 by Jerry F
	So this is Christmas (Preview) And this is me, pretending to be happy, making the day bright for my son while my husband lies in a coma a mile away from me. His drinking did this. A week ago he was still handsome. A week ago he was strong. A week ago he was talking and laughing and being a dad. I'm not very good at being alone, but I'm trying....	dahlia	12	818	Dec 26, 2011 by orchidlover
	Could it be.. "GASP"... acceptance? (Preview) I find it interesting how I suddently "get" it. My latest revelation is that detachment appears to have brought me to acceptance. I got to the point where I felt bombarded, and finally, finally came to the conclusion that others have the choice to live their own life, and so do I. Its not...	Loupiness	9	660	Dec 26, 2011 by Jerry F
	What ever the weather, or where ever (Preview) On this Christmas Eve with many memories of difficult and unhappy Christmas Days and holidays behind me I would like to wish all the readers of this site a safe, peaceful and calm Christmas. Whatever the weather - cold, snow or heat, (38c degrees today here) that will not really make much difference to...	Too hard	4	411	Dec 26, 2011 by orchidlover
	Husband's Feelings (Preview) I posted on here yesterday that my husband was physically abusive and an alcoholic and addicted to drugs as well. We also have two children together. It all came to a head and his blood alcohol was 4 times the legal limit and he locked himself in our office and took 30 Xanax's and laid down on the couch to...	ttpurtee	8	628	Dec 26, 2011 by orchidlover
	Peace to you all. (Preview) Just wrapping up a wonderful Christmas in a sober home, with my family around, most of the bills paid, a few nice things under the tree for the kids. I am so blessed. After the many years of struggling against this disease, I still have to pinch myself to see if I am really awake. I have all I want, a nice bori...	Jen	3	321	Dec 26, 2011 by Pushka
	Surprise Christmas Present (Preview) My mommy bought me a surprise present - a Stephen King novel, 11/22/63 - from the looks of the cover its about the kennedy assasination and back cover makes me think its a what if, what if he hadn't been killed?? Its 849 pages long, and I'm going to curl up and read tonight - sure surprised me though, mom don...	likemyheart	4	451	Dec 26, 2011 by Pushka
	3 weeks to go til bubs and 'he's leaving' (Preview) Ugh! How did I know this would happen?? And why am I trying to change it. He's freaking out. I have three weeks til my due date. He's using badly again because of the anxiety (that's how he explained it). I asked him about cleaning the floors for me this morning. He was saying he needed to lay down. He took it...	Hayes	14	613	Dec 26, 2011 by tired of trying
	Working through some feelings... (Preview) Hi all, I hope everyone of you miracles is having a good Christmas weekend. I so love this site and the wonderful ESH here, so much wisdom and compassion. This has been a godsend for me. I'm just going to write out my feelings tonight. I bet some of you will identify with some of this. This is my first Chri...	Doozy	8	590	Dec 26, 2011 by Green Eyes
	Christmas Morning Musing (Preview) Merry Christmas Everyone. It's morning here, I'm playing on my laptop while Megamind plays on the tv, not sure why the movie appeals to me, but its cute, entertaining and I'm not ready to stop having it play. Over the last few weeks I've had several people try to convince me of how I should embrace the hol...	likemyheart	4	508	Dec 26, 2011 by Jen
	Al Anon Meetings (Preview) I have a couple of questions, how do I find Al Anon meetings? Also, how often is a person suppose to attend these meetings?	ttpurtee	7	902	Dec 26, 2011 by Jen
	Ready for changes and positive steps (Preview) My son had his 4th eye surgery yesterday (glaucoma) and it was deemed successful. However, the followup early this morning showed a little blood has entered the eye so hopefully, it won't continue or it could potentially be bad. I'm praying that his surgeries will stay successful and we'll know in 3-...	LostMama31	7	599	Dec 25, 2011 by LostMama31
	Christmas gift suggestions (for all) (Preview) To your enemy... Forgiveness. To your opponent... Tolerance. To a friend... Your heart. To a costumer... Service. To all... Charity. To a child... A good example. To yourself... Respect.. Saw this one today and made me think of all you on here!! Thought Id share!! Merry Christmas Everyone...	kris10	3	419	Dec 25, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Jekyl & Hyde (Preview) My husband is a sweet, loving, kind, funny, intelligent and good man. My alcoholic husband is a tired, anxious, angry, fearful, petty, ashamed boy. Is it bad or unfair that I'm starting to see them as two separate people? Or is this maybe a good or adaptive way for me to handle being his partner? I'm qui...	ladysoblue	8	737	Dec 25, 2011 by ladysoblue
	Merry Christmas to you all! (Preview) I am excited for tomorrow morning and watching my kids open their gifts. California was Christmas enough for me to be able to get along with my family, so after coming home everything is just a bonus now. I am so grateful for my kids and their health! I am having my exAH and his parents over in the morning...	Breakingfree	3	396	Dec 24, 2011 by Michelle814
	Where is our hairless guinea pig loving Deb??? (Preview) Maybe I missed a share about her being gone for awhile, but I have been looking to see her post again and it seems to have been awhile. After her late night scare awhile back I often think of her. If anyone knows I would greatly appreciate putting my mind at ease.	Breakingfree	2	372	Dec 24, 2011 by Pushka
	Alcohol Effects (Preview) Hello Everyone... If someone started drinking at the age of 13...not a lot but it progressed over the years and got worse when they were 16, 17 and up...to the point where it's excessive drinking quite often...what type of effects does this have physcially by the time they are 19? My son is 19 now...a...	Christie92	4	668	Dec 24, 2011 by likemyheart
	Graditude (Preview) Its been a rough couple months, but things are getting better-for that I am grateful. Last night it hit me this maybe the first Christmas in 4 years without an actively drinking AH-prior to that he had been sober for 15 years-for the last 4 we have rode the relaspe roller coaster especially around the ho...	tired of trying	3	446	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	hope everyone has a Merry Christmas! (Preview) Just real quick: I hope you all have a merry Christmas this year. Me, I am going to do the best I can. I am still grieving as you probably guessed. Today I am angry because my dad left me before Christmas. I had planned it differently of course. But...God had other plans I guess. I was all ready to have one of t...	Hoot Nanny	2	381	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Hapy Chrismtas to all (Preview) as you all know I have to work retail and tomorrow is the last major onslaught in the marathon. I hope you all have a calm, peaceful Christmas. I will be and thats a first for me. I can't really wish for anything more than that. My expectations have changed and that is the best gift I can give to myself. M...	orchidlover	2	348	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Merry Christmas ? (Preview) Christmas for so many of us is full of painful hurtful as well as beautiful memories. Whether the pain was cause in our childhood our teenaged years or the challenges of realtionships in our adult life . The thing we need to avoid giving life to the ghosts of Christmas past dreading the ghosts of Christ...	sirchef	4	382	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	When twinges of fear, gratitude, and humor combine (Preview) Twinge of fear: Checking my phone messages, a neighbor reported possibly seeing my ex RA's car idling out in front of my house. Considering the 100 yrd. stay away order in place, that is not good. I'm feeling kind of afraid, but not a lot. Gratitude: My neighbors are really cool! So glad they're lookin...	rara avis	2	451	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	chekcing in (Preview) I haven't posted in a while but have been trying to read others posts when I can. Work has been really busy and frankly I've gone into auto pilot over the holiday. I know it's probably a mistake to not deal with the things that are right in front of me but the holidays are a tough time for me inspite of the se...	amills4294	2	382	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	He left (Preview) I went to a real estate class at around 1 pm. He asked me what time was I coming home before I left. I told him around 4. When I got home the car jack was outside. When I went to put it back the jet ski was gone (we live up north). Then I went to his computer room and it was gone as well as his papers, and then the close...	gladysg	4	450	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Good things happen in this program (Preview) I have been in Al-Anon for 8 months now. Since starting the program, I have: - Experienced a drastically improved relationship with my sister - Been able to lower my dosage of anxiety meds, and am now tapering off Prozac - Left a job that had bad pay, bad hours, and lots of insanity, and replaced it with a j...	atheos	6	361	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	I think I did good??? (Preview) Well my A called today asked if he could come over. I said yes (assuming he was coming to get his things or MAYBE give me some money he owes me) Was kind of strange to hear him ring the door bell... First off I was assuming he would be high out of his mind because he got paid the other day... He wasn't... My son wh...	kris10	6	530	Dec 24, 2011 by sookie
	Door left unlocked AGAIN (Preview) I know in the scheme of things, this isn't the worst that can happen, but after beautifully detatching all morning (with my two little ones) from the knowledge that my husband got loaded last night after I went to bed, I find the door unlocked AGAIN. I'm furious. Last time, after posting here and spea...	danni	6	791	Dec 24, 2011 by danni
	Sobriety Anniversary - 22 years today! (Preview) The journey has been long, and it has been hard...But the adventure of living life, each day has been worth it.I've learned and I'm still teachable, I have grown, but still growing,I do not seek an applause, for to do so would be the same as applauding a cowboy with hemroids for not riding his horse any m...	John	16	818	Dec 24, 2011 by tired of trying
	crying again (Preview) Here we go again with the crying. I am sitting in my office at work feeling like a bit of a failure.... ok.. a complete failure. Its 9 am on the 23 December. A time I am usually really happy cos I love Christmas. I feel really rejected. I had that argument with my brother on Monday. Wednesday I had a lunch...	Lindaoakford	22	636	Dec 23, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	have a fantastic Christmas (Preview) Well everyone... have a great Christmas and an even better New Year. Its Friday lunch time here and I am gonna knock off home early from work to do the last minute things. (EKO, early knock off) We here in Darwin are on a cyclone watch (hurricane), so have to do a little bit of clearing up to do. Hubby has b...	Lindaoakford	4	388	Dec 23, 2011 by Pushka
	His Boobies. No, my boobies. (Preview) My husband was drunk tonight. He came in while I was sitting on the couch watching TV. He then started groping me and trying to stick his tounge down my shirt. It was really getting annoying. He kept saying they were his boobies and I was being disrespectful by not giving him "what was his". i j...	callmemara	7	741	Dec 23, 2011 by John
	Alcoholic Husband (Preview) I am so glad I found this message board. I need to share with someone what I have gone through. I am starting counseling but not for 2 more weeks. My husband lost his job and starting drinking and then started hitting, choking, and becoming violent with me. My husband would not allow me to go in the gar...	ttpurtee	11	766	Dec 23, 2011 by tired of trying
	Using the Tools - One Day at a Time (Preview) I am struggling to use my relatively new-found Alanon tools - just for today. My AH, from whom I've been separated for several months, has lived with his mom since our separation. This followed a summer where he drank himself to insanity and lost his job. He has been sober since coming back from a 3 week r...	nyc018	5	415	Dec 23, 2011 by Pushka
	Exploded (Preview) Hi All, I'm ashamed to say that I exploded in verbally at a neighbour who had sexually abused my daughter. He was walking down the road alone (we live in the country) when I drove around the corner, spotted him, slowed down and started yelling at him. This was while my other children were in the car with...	Tracey C	10	663	Dec 23, 2011 by Tracey C
	Minor Victory (Preview) So, my soon to be ex AH called this morning to see if I would lend him $30 to cover his snowmobile insurance which is due tomorrow. My gosh -- he has had to pay his snowmobile payment (!), his OWN vehicle insurance (1), and his own cell phone (!) ..for the last 2-3 months!!! (i paid it previously) Now he has no...	rehprof	5	506	Dec 23, 2011 by Doozy
	Self Esteem (Preview) How has my self esteem grown since coming to Al-Anon? I have learned, with the help of my higher power and my lovely friends at Al-Anon how to admit my flaws, humbly ask God to remove my short comings, and at the same time remember all I have to offer the world and all the good qualities that I possess. I was a...	Michelle814	4	475	Dec 23, 2011 by Doozy
	Hello (Preview) waves The wonderful people on the AA board said this was a great place to learn about living with an alcoholic. Not that its new to me. I am a adult child of 2 alcoholic parents. My husband is also a child of an alcoholic and an alcoholic himself. We have been married for 4 months and things are not going...	Moon_Beam	9	653	Dec 22, 2011 by likemyheart
	Step 3 on the Step Work Board (Preview) Hi MIP Family I will not be available during the Holiday Season so I have posted the Alanon 3 rd Step to the Step work Board today I hope everyone has a Happy Holiday Season -- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 22nd of December 2011 03:32:46 PM	hotrod	3	442	Dec 22, 2011 by Jozie
	Note to self: The hardware store does not have bread (Preview) In fact, the hardware store has never had bread. So, stop trying to buy some there. And when you do try to buy bread there, because you know you will forget and try again, don't be upset when they say they don't have any. They have told you repeatedly that they do not carry bread. Believe them. No one is tell...	Very Very Tired	10	2547	Dec 22, 2011 by Very Very Tired
	Discovering Choices (Preview) Has anyone had any experience with the book? I'm debating about getting it and I've flipped through it and like what it has to say. I"m just not sure if it's a current book anyone is using or what they got out of it. I find that many of the books say similar things, the books are used in different way...	Pushka	5	760	Dec 22, 2011 by Pushka
	What a difference one year in Al-anon has made. (Preview) A year ago my head was spinning, I couldn't spend anytime alone and had left my AH a couple months before, so I jumped into dating a very unhealthy guy and couldn't figure out how to stop all the crazy cycles going on. I was miserable, didn't like myself and was obsessed and so very judgemental towards eve...	Breakingfree	7	464	Dec 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	Just want to say.... (Preview) HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL! I realize that this time of year can be very trying to all of us. Remember to bring your toolbox with you where ever you go! Just today I had to dig in mine in order to not start WW III. My hubby accidently spilled his coffee on my laptop. At first, there didn't seem to be any damage. H...	GailMichelle	7	492	Dec 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	Choices this chirstmas (Preview) So after spending hours pouring over everyone's stories and advice. I know this I want to have Christmas this year. I am ready for this massive step. All of my life holidays have been a fear of mine. I am my familys black sheep, and all but one of my mothers 5 siblings are alcoholics and substance abuser...	Moon_Beam	4	426	Dec 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	peaceful times (Preview) It's easy to forget how important it is to continue working on ourselves during the peaceful times. That doesn't mean walking on eggshells waiting for the crisis to start anew, but it does mean staying focused on the things that help us to grow and resisting the urge to become complacent. We can &quo...	DadtoCandE	4	419	Dec 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	5th psych appointment (Preview) Well I have been to the psychologist for my 5th appointment. As I said last time, we have worked through emotions, what they are, how they present, identifying primary and secondary emotions. Now we are taking it one step further. Emotion exposure. Identifying the barriers and coping mechanisms th...	Lindaoakford	4	521	Dec 22, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Cant get this outa my head... (Preview) So today is/was his payday... Gosh a part of me was really really hoping he would come and give me the money he owes me and say hes sorry and yada yada... Of course that is not what happen.. I can only guess what happen.. I have a pretty good idea.. I havent seen him since the morning I had to send him to jail.. H...	kris10	7	645	Dec 22, 2011 by kris10
	Intense Insight (Preview) Today was one of those intense days of insight for me...I have been hurting so much, but learning too... I learned today that at times I use my "victim" status so that people will come to my rescue...why? I think I am only worthy of attention if I am sick, or down and out...people can't love me...	rehprof	8	585	Dec 22, 2011 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.