Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

orchidlover · orchidlover

as you all know I have to work retail and tomorrow is the last major onslaught in the marathon. I hope you all have a calm, peaceful Christmas. I will be and thats a first for me. I can't really wish for anything more than that. My expectations have changed and that is the best gift I can give to myself. M...

sirchef · sirchef

Christmas for so many of us is full of painful hurtful as well as beautiful memories. Whether the pain was cause in our childhood our teenaged years or the challenges of realtionships in our adult life . The thing we need to avoid giving life to the ghosts of Christmas past dreading the ghosts of Christ...

rara avis · rara avis

Twinge of fear: Checking my phone messages, a neighbor reported possibly seeing my ex RA's car idling out in front of my house. Considering the 100 yrd. stay away order in place, that is not good. I'm feeling kind of afraid, but not a lot. Gratitude: My neighbors are really cool! So glad they're lookin...

amills4294 · amills4294

I haven't posted in a while but have been trying to read others posts when I can. Work has been really busy and frankly I've gone into auto pilot over the holiday. I know it's probably a mistake to not deal with the things that are right in front of me but the holidays are a tough time for me inspite of the se...

gladysg · gladysg

I went to a real estate class at around 1 pm. He asked me what time was I coming home before I left. I told him around 4. When I got home the car jack was outside. When I went to put it back the jet ski was gone (we live up north). Then I went to his computer room and it was gone as well as his papers, and then the close...

atheos · atheos

I have been in Al-Anon for 8 months now. Since starting the program, I have: - Experienced a drastically improved relationship with my sister - Been able to lower my dosage of anxiety meds, and am now tapering off Prozac - Left a job that had bad pay, bad hours, and lots of insanity, and replaced it with a j...

kris10 · kris10

Well my A called today asked if he could come over. I said yes (assuming he was coming to get his things or MAYBE give me some money he owes me) Was kind of strange to hear him ring the door bell... First off I was assuming he would be high out of his mind because he got paid the other day... He wasn't... My son wh...

danni · danni

I know in the scheme of things, this isn't the worst that can happen, but after beautifully detatching all morning (with my two little ones) from the knowledge that my husband got loaded last night after I went to bed, I find the door unlocked AGAIN. I'm furious. Last time, after posting here and spea...

John · John

The journey has been long, and it has been hard...But the adventure of living life, each day has been worth it.I've learned and I'm still teachable, I have grown, but still growing,I do not seek an applause, for to do so would be the same as applauding a cowboy with hemroids for not riding his horse any m...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Here we go again with the crying. I am sitting in my office at work feeling like a bit of a failure.... ok.. a complete failure. Its 9 am on the 23 December. A time I am usually really happy cos I love Christmas. I feel really rejected. I had that argument with my brother on Monday. Wednesday I had a lunch...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Well everyone... have a great Christmas and an even better New Year. Its Friday lunch time here and I am gonna knock off home early from work to do the last minute things. (EKO, early knock off) We here in Darwin are on a cyclone watch (hurricane), so have to do a little bit of clearing up to do. Hubby has b...

callmemara · callmemara

My husband was drunk tonight. He came in while I was sitting on the couch watching TV. He then started groping me and trying to stick his tounge down my shirt. It was really getting annoying. He kept saying they were his boobies and I was being disrespectful by not giving him "what was his". i j...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I am so glad I found this message board. I need to share with someone what I have gone through. I am starting counseling but not for 2 more weeks. My husband lost his job and starting drinking and then started hitting, choking, and becoming violent with me. My husband would not allow me to go in the gar...

nyc018 · nyc018

I am struggling to use my relatively new-found Alanon tools - just for today. My AH, from whom I've been separated for several months, has lived with his mom since our separation. This followed a summer where he drank himself to insanity and lost his job. He has been sober since coming back from a 3 week r...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi All, I'm ashamed to say that I exploded in verbally at a neighbour who had sexually abused my daughter. He was walking down the road alone (we live in the country) when I drove around the corner, spotted him, slowed down and started yelling at him. This was while my other children were in the car with...

rehprof · rehprof

So, my soon to be ex AH called this morning to see if I would lend him $30 to cover his snowmobile insurance which is due tomorrow. My gosh -- he has had to pay his snowmobile payment (!), his OWN vehicle insurance (1), and his own cell phone (!) ..for the last 2-3 months!!! (i paid it previously) Now he has no...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

How has my self esteem grown since coming to Al-Anon? I have learned, with the help of my higher power and my lovely friends at Al-Anon how to admit my flaws, humbly ask God to remove my short comings, and at the same time remember all I have to offer the world and all the good qualities that I possess. I was a...

Moon_Beam · Moon_Beam

*waves* The wonderful people on the AA board said this was a great place to learn about living with an alcoholic. Not that its new to me. I am a adult child of 2 alcoholic parents. My husband is also a child of an alcoholic and an alcoholic himself. We have been married for 4 months and things are not going...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi MIP Family I will not be available during the Holiday Season so I have posted the Alanon 3 rd Step to the Step work Board today I hope everyone has a Happy Holiday Season -- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 22nd of December 2011 03:32:46 PM

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

In fact, the hardware store has never had bread. So, stop trying to buy some there. And when you do try to buy bread there, because you know you will forget and try again, don't be upset when they say they don't have any. They have told you repeatedly that they do not carry bread. Believe them. No one is tell...

Pushka · Pushka

Has anyone had any experience with the book? I'm debating about getting it and I've flipped through it and like what it has to say. I"m just not sure if it's a current book anyone is using or what they got out of it. I find that many of the books say similar things, the books are used in different way...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

A year ago my head was spinning, I couldn't spend anytime alone and had left my AH a couple months before, so I jumped into dating a very unhealthy guy and couldn't figure out how to stop all the crazy cycles going on. I was miserable, didn't like myself and was obsessed and so very judgemental towards eve...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL! I realize that this time of year can be very trying to all of us. Remember to bring your toolbox with you where ever you go! Just today I had to dig in mine in order to not start WW III. My hubby accidently spilled his coffee on my laptop. At first, there didn't seem to be any damage. H...

Moon_Beam · Moon_Beam

So after spending hours pouring over everyone's stories and advice. I know this I want to have Christmas this year. I am ready for this massive step. All of my life holidays have been a fear of mine. I am my familys black sheep, and all but one of my mothers 5 siblings are alcoholics and substance abuser...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

It's easy to forget how important it is to continue working on ourselves during the peaceful times. That doesn't mean walking on eggshells waiting for the crisis to start anew, but it does mean staying focused on the things that help us to grow and resisting the urge to become complacent. We can &quo...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Well I have been to the psychologist for my 5th appointment. As I said last time, we have worked through emotions, what they are, how they present, identifying primary and secondary emotions. Now we are taking it one step further. Emotion exposure. Identifying the barriers and coping mechanisms th...

kris10 · kris10

So today is/was his payday... Gosh a part of me was really really hoping he would come and give me the money he owes me and say hes sorry and yada yada... Of course that is not what happen.. I can only guess what happen.. I have a pretty good idea.. I havent seen him since the morning I had to send him to jail.. H...

rehprof · rehprof

Today was one of those intense days of insight for me...I have been hurting so much, but learning too... I learned today that at times I use my "victim" status so that people will come to my rescue...why? I think I am only worthy of attention if I am sick, or down and out...people can't love me...

atheos · atheos

Poor shy little timid atheos, always acting like a victim... "My dad wasn't perfect and sometimes said mean things! WAH! WAH!" There are people who have been through far, far worse, so there's no excuse for feeling sorry for myself. But those victim-y feelings won't shut up and go away......

stephaniej · stephaniej

How does everyone handle this? My AH's emotional abuse has skyrocketed over the past couple of months. Then we had a lull for a couple of weeks. Now it's out of control again. Detaching is so hard for me right now. I want so much to be able to ATTACH, because I need his emotional support for so many thi...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My adult daughter and I haven't seen her dad (my AH) for several months. We decided together to invite him out for dinner tonight and made plans ahead of time about what would be "safe" topics to talk about with him and what topics we should try to avoid. We each brought a small gift for him for C...

LostMama31 · LostMama31

Hello. This is my first time on the message board. I've been wanting to go to an Al-Anon meeting but after my husband lost his job, we didn't have any money to have anyone watch my kids so I could go. Anyway, I'm looking for some advice, so-to-speak. My husband lost his job in June of this year. When that hap...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am still around reading daily, but I wanted to post something that just hit me. Life on life's terms. What does it mean to you? I work at a newspaper and am at the front desk where many many people come in and want to tell their story and the newsroom won't listen to them, so they tell me if I have time to he...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I have this question that has been circling in my brain since Thursday night. I stated on Thanksgiving day to my AH that if he was upset with me he could discuss it with me when he was sober otherwise I would not stay and tolerate unacceptable behavior (although with him I don't think unacceptable behavi...

Pushka · Pushka

I have more days where I feel like I'm speaking a foreign language and going about it all wrong. It's so frustrating to say something, say what I mean and still feel like a complete moron because it's misunderstood. At what point am I not communicating effectively. It's on my list of things to address...

sookie · sookie

My recovering, AH who has moved out (3 months ago) so we can have some space came by yesterday, he wreaked of flowery-disgusting cologne or something...his eyes were blooshot and glossy and earlier a huge bouquet of flowers was delivered to our two girls (probably $60)...um, something seems off?! I...

TLD · TLD

So, my AH who was dry for over two weeks and attending AA meetings decided this week that he was only going to go if he felt the need. I just wanted to say "it's usually too late by then", but I didn't. Then yesterday he ends up going out for beer on the way home from work. I asked about his day and...

LostMama31 · LostMama31

I got a call from the police this morning saying they got a call from a neighbor of a possible alcohol overdose at our address. I'm in another state so I called his mother to ask if she would go to the house and let them in. That is when I discovered my AH was with her, who knows where, and that he was the one that...

rara avis · rara avis

Mini update: my ex RA has been complying with the stay away order [ far as I can tell ] and things have been calming down. Though to be honest I've been really really struggling with self esteem and the blues lately. The kicker: My attorney's office - and I've been hoping to end our contract - told me tha...

Doozy · Doozy

Well, I have not been on to post lately, but I do keep reading and checking in on this board frequently. I feel like I learn so much from this board and that I find so much wisdom, compassion and support here. I am often able to come here and redirect my thinking in a more positive direction and that feels gre...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Where do I begin? Well...reality is really hitting me right now. Hospice has been called in & my DAD doesn't have much time for sure as I found out yesterday after my last post. My sister is now his caregiver for sure. I am so relieved but very sad as you can imagine. I will use the tools as I have been lat...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

for a lovely weekend. This weekend was a bit of a test for myself. I went out on Sunday and left my husband at home. Doesn't sound like much does it. With my massive control issues, it was a biggie for me. Everytime I have left him alone he has been stoned or done things that he knows I dislike. Only recen...

1982Mel · 1982Mel

Hi everyone, I'm new to al anon. My husband has been and opiate addict for the past four years. The last two years have been the worst. He just finished up his 21 day stay in a rehab facility. Before he came home i told him that i wanted him to stay at our condo and our two daughters (6, and 3) here at our house...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Yesterday I was really having difficulty in general; worrying about my AH and also just doubting my HP. I am not ashamed to say it because my HP and I worked it out last night ;) What a difference 24 hours makes!! I mean today I am seeing the world as that bright, vibrant place again. Everybody I pass I th...

12stepinKristi · 12stepinKristi

This is what I felt like saying at the "start" of my day. Approximately 24 hours ago, I was still wide awake trying to find some peace with my stuffiness and sore throat...I have a cold where you feel completely miserable and there is nothing that really a doctor can do, just rest and vitamin C...

serenityseeker1 · serenityseeker1

Hi all, I am new to this site and even alanon. I am an ex alcoholic myself, but I wouldn't say I was a recovering one as I have not been involved or used any sort of program,just been gripping on to get by. My sobriarty date is 13.06.2008. My bf is an addict and when we met he was in recovery. Last year my world ca...

debbiems · debbiems

My AS moved back into our house after 6 months of TX, he hasn't lived with us of 3 yrs. I failed by not setting boundries , our th house rules, what ever you want to call it before he moved back home. There are a few things that have came to our attention and now I am backed into a corner and heed to communicate...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

All I can say is that people need to LISTEN & LEARN! I am so grateful that I am becoming a better listener but today I just need to be heard. I am even unable to type what I am thinking! I just want to say that everyone should remember the reason for this season no matter what you believe. This time of year i...

LostMama31 · LostMama31

I've always gotten along with my husband's family. However, since I left, I feel like I get jabs by their statuses through Facebook all the time. I've gotten to where I don't even go on FB anymore because I can't take any more stress than I'm already under. I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised. It is h...

kael1539 · kael1539

My AH relapsed last night - he is not home and has been gone all night. I knew it was going to happen and did OK yesterday, spent a great day and night with the kids. AH tried to called twice and I could tell he was drinking. The first time I told him I couldn't talk bc I was getting the kids to bed. The 2nd call cam...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

When my AH was in rehab I had all the time in the world to work on myself. Now that he is out I find myself focusing on him far too often. It's a slippery slope I'm traveling down. I suppose I need to get reading some Al-Anon literature asap. I have to work late tonight so I can't go to a meeting. The more time I...

tired of trying · tired of trying

Does anyone have any experience with antidepressants-can the effects on the person taking have a similar effect as alcohol. MY AH just started taking for first time and the other day I though he was acting like he had been drinking (not drunk) but grinning and a little silly. Found no other signs that h...

confused76 · confused76

Three weeks ago we got the call we had all been dreading. We knew that our 16 year old son had been getting high we had tried everything but nothing worked. The call came from his school, he was found in school with drugs, this is when we had hit our bottom, by the next day we were on our way to take his to an impa...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha family...just gonna put out some thoughts and feelings I'm having at the moment. I'm edgy and anxious. Tomorrow starts the beginning of the "courting" dances I will be going thru until the problem with the police assault is done. I've been left alone with my thoughts and also ha...

Generic Writer · Generic Writer

My 16-year-old son was about to return home for his first visit from his residential treatment center (RTC). It had been a very long and difficult road for him. Like a bucking bronco, he fought every bit of the way. And continues. His defiance, like with most addicts, can best be summed up by Henny Y...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Here's some good food for thought, from Thought for Today's website: Something to strive for Remember, progress not perfection as you read. Working on Rebuilding Relationships Its easy to speak negatively when we do not like something about someone. We often react without thinking and beco...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

My AH and I attend the Saturday night service at our church. Every week we sit in about the same place. Last night I was picking my niece up from kid church and the man who always sits behind us introduced himself. He gave me a card addressed to the couple who always sits in front of me and told me not to lose it...

kris10 · kris10

Ok my head is going crazy with... Where is he? Is he ok? Is he alive? Is he sleeping on the street freezing to death?? He only has what is on his back... I feel the need to call every single one of his friends and just see if he is ok... I wanna scream..................

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've lost so many people that I cared for in the past year it seems....my best grade school pal, my uncle, then a month ago my mom who was my mom, my dad and my best friend. There isn't five minutes that pass that I don't think about her. Everyone keeps saying it'll get easier with time, and every day gets h...

kris10 · kris10

I was looking threw papers that I had just piled up on my table... Bunch of old mail and school work from my son that I hadn't even looked at, or maybe just skimed threw... When I come across this home made thanksgiving book my son made in school... I was looking at all his little drawings he made in it... Tur...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hapy Chrismtas to all (Preview) as you all know I have to work retail and tomorrow is the last major onslaught in the marathon. I hope you all have a calm, peaceful Christmas. I will be and thats a first for me. I can't really wish for anything more than that. My expectations have changed and that is the best gift I can give to myself. M...	orchidlover	2	277	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Merry Christmas ? (Preview) Christmas for so many of us is full of painful hurtful as well as beautiful memories. Whether the pain was cause in our childhood our teenaged years or the challenges of realtionships in our adult life . The thing we need to avoid giving life to the ghosts of Christmas past dreading the ghosts of Christ...	sirchef	4	308	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	When twinges of fear, gratitude, and humor combine (Preview) Twinge of fear: Checking my phone messages, a neighbor reported possibly seeing my ex RA's car idling out in front of my house. Considering the 100 yrd. stay away order in place, that is not good. I'm feeling kind of afraid, but not a lot. Gratitude: My neighbors are really cool! So glad they're lookin...	rara avis	2	380	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	chekcing in (Preview) I haven't posted in a while but have been trying to read others posts when I can. Work has been really busy and frankly I've gone into auto pilot over the holiday. I know it's probably a mistake to not deal with the things that are right in front of me but the holidays are a tough time for me inspite of the se...	amills4294	2	307	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	He left (Preview) I went to a real estate class at around 1 pm. He asked me what time was I coming home before I left. I told him around 4. When I got home the car jack was outside. When I went to put it back the jet ski was gone (we live up north). Then I went to his computer room and it was gone as well as his papers, and then the close...	gladysg	4	375	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Good things happen in this program (Preview) I have been in Al-Anon for 8 months now. Since starting the program, I have: - Experienced a drastically improved relationship with my sister - Been able to lower my dosage of anxiety meds, and am now tapering off Prozac - Left a job that had bad pay, bad hours, and lots of insanity, and replaced it with a j...	atheos	6	287	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	I think I did good??? (Preview) Well my A called today asked if he could come over. I said yes (assuming he was coming to get his things or MAYBE give me some money he owes me) Was kind of strange to hear him ring the door bell... First off I was assuming he would be high out of his mind because he got paid the other day... He wasn't... My son wh...	kris10	6	451	Dec 24, 2011 by sookie
	Door left unlocked AGAIN (Preview) I know in the scheme of things, this isn't the worst that can happen, but after beautifully detatching all morning (with my two little ones) from the knowledge that my husband got loaded last night after I went to bed, I find the door unlocked AGAIN. I'm furious. Last time, after posting here and spea...	danni	6	710	Dec 24, 2011 by danni
	Sobriety Anniversary - 22 years today! (Preview) The journey has been long, and it has been hard...But the adventure of living life, each day has been worth it.I've learned and I'm still teachable, I have grown, but still growing,I do not seek an applause, for to do so would be the same as applauding a cowboy with hemroids for not riding his horse any m...	John	16	735	Dec 24, 2011 by tired of trying
	crying again (Preview) Here we go again with the crying. I am sitting in my office at work feeling like a bit of a failure.... ok.. a complete failure. Its 9 am on the 23 December. A time I am usually really happy cos I love Christmas. I feel really rejected. I had that argument with my brother on Monday. Wednesday I had a lunch...	Lindaoakford	22	555	Dec 23, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	have a fantastic Christmas (Preview) Well everyone... have a great Christmas and an even better New Year. Its Friday lunch time here and I am gonna knock off home early from work to do the last minute things. (EKO, early knock off) We here in Darwin are on a cyclone watch (hurricane), so have to do a little bit of clearing up to do. Hubby has b...	Lindaoakford	4	310	Dec 23, 2011 by Pushka
	His Boobies. No, my boobies. (Preview) My husband was drunk tonight. He came in while I was sitting on the couch watching TV. He then started groping me and trying to stick his tounge down my shirt. It was really getting annoying. He kept saying they were his boobies and I was being disrespectful by not giving him "what was his". i j...	callmemara	7	666	Dec 23, 2011 by John
	Alcoholic Husband (Preview) I am so glad I found this message board. I need to share with someone what I have gone through. I am starting counseling but not for 2 more weeks. My husband lost his job and starting drinking and then started hitting, choking, and becoming violent with me. My husband would not allow me to go in the gar...	ttpurtee	11	689	Dec 23, 2011 by tired of trying
	Using the Tools - One Day at a Time (Preview) I am struggling to use my relatively new-found Alanon tools - just for today. My AH, from whom I've been separated for several months, has lived with his mom since our separation. This followed a summer where he drank himself to insanity and lost his job. He has been sober since coming back from a 3 week r...	nyc018	5	340	Dec 23, 2011 by Pushka
	Exploded (Preview) Hi All, I'm ashamed to say that I exploded in verbally at a neighbour who had sexually abused my daughter. He was walking down the road alone (we live in the country) when I drove around the corner, spotted him, slowed down and started yelling at him. This was while my other children were in the car with...	Tracey C	10	584	Dec 23, 2011 by Tracey C
	Minor Victory (Preview) So, my soon to be ex AH called this morning to see if I would lend him $30 to cover his snowmobile insurance which is due tomorrow. My gosh -- he has had to pay his snowmobile payment (!), his OWN vehicle insurance (1), and his own cell phone (!) ..for the last 2-3 months!!! (i paid it previously) Now he has no...	rehprof	5	431	Dec 23, 2011 by Doozy
	Self Esteem (Preview) How has my self esteem grown since coming to Al-Anon? I have learned, with the help of my higher power and my lovely friends at Al-Anon how to admit my flaws, humbly ask God to remove my short comings, and at the same time remember all I have to offer the world and all the good qualities that I possess. I was a...	Michelle814	4	401	Dec 23, 2011 by Doozy
	Hello (Preview) waves The wonderful people on the AA board said this was a great place to learn about living with an alcoholic. Not that its new to me. I am a adult child of 2 alcoholic parents. My husband is also a child of an alcoholic and an alcoholic himself. We have been married for 4 months and things are not going...	Moon_Beam	9	569	Dec 22, 2011 by likemyheart
	Step 3 on the Step Work Board (Preview) Hi MIP Family I will not be available during the Holiday Season so I have posted the Alanon 3 rd Step to the Step work Board today I hope everyone has a Happy Holiday Season -- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 22nd of December 2011 03:32:46 PM	hotrod	3	363	Dec 22, 2011 by Jozie
	Note to self: The hardware store does not have bread (Preview) In fact, the hardware store has never had bread. So, stop trying to buy some there. And when you do try to buy bread there, because you know you will forget and try again, don't be upset when they say they don't have any. They have told you repeatedly that they do not carry bread. Believe them. No one is tell...	Very Very Tired	10	2392	Dec 22, 2011 by Very Very Tired
	Discovering Choices (Preview) Has anyone had any experience with the book? I'm debating about getting it and I've flipped through it and like what it has to say. I"m just not sure if it's a current book anyone is using or what they got out of it. I find that many of the books say similar things, the books are used in different way...	Pushka	5	665	Dec 22, 2011 by Pushka
	What a difference one year in Al-anon has made. (Preview) A year ago my head was spinning, I couldn't spend anytime alone and had left my AH a couple months before, so I jumped into dating a very unhealthy guy and couldn't figure out how to stop all the crazy cycles going on. I was miserable, didn't like myself and was obsessed and so very judgemental towards eve...	Breakingfree	7	389	Dec 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	Just want to say.... (Preview) HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL! I realize that this time of year can be very trying to all of us. Remember to bring your toolbox with you where ever you go! Just today I had to dig in mine in order to not start WW III. My hubby accidently spilled his coffee on my laptop. At first, there didn't seem to be any damage. H...	GailMichelle	7	400	Dec 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	Choices this chirstmas (Preview) So after spending hours pouring over everyone's stories and advice. I know this I want to have Christmas this year. I am ready for this massive step. All of my life holidays have been a fear of mine. I am my familys black sheep, and all but one of my mothers 5 siblings are alcoholics and substance abuser...	Moon_Beam	4	356	Dec 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	peaceful times (Preview) It's easy to forget how important it is to continue working on ourselves during the peaceful times. That doesn't mean walking on eggshells waiting for the crisis to start anew, but it does mean staying focused on the things that help us to grow and resisting the urge to become complacent. We can &quo...	DadtoCandE	4	345	Dec 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	5th psych appointment (Preview) Well I have been to the psychologist for my 5th appointment. As I said last time, we have worked through emotions, what they are, how they present, identifying primary and secondary emotions. Now we are taking it one step further. Emotion exposure. Identifying the barriers and coping mechanisms th...	Lindaoakford	4	447	Dec 22, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Cant get this outa my head... (Preview) So today is/was his payday... Gosh a part of me was really really hoping he would come and give me the money he owes me and say hes sorry and yada yada... Of course that is not what happen.. I can only guess what happen.. I have a pretty good idea.. I havent seen him since the morning I had to send him to jail.. H...	kris10	7	571	Dec 22, 2011 by kris10
	Intense Insight (Preview) Today was one of those intense days of insight for me...I have been hurting so much, but learning too... I learned today that at times I use my "victim" status so that people will come to my rescue...why? I think I am only worthy of attention if I am sick, or down and out...people can't love me...	rehprof	8	513	Dec 22, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Feeling disgusted with myself (Preview) Poor shy little timid atheos, always acting like a victim... "My dad wasn't perfect and sometimes said mean things! WAH! WAH!" There are people who have been through far, far worse, so there's no excuse for feeling sorry for myself. But those victim-y feelings won't shut up and go away......	atheos	14	570	Dec 22, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Striking a balance between not taking abuse, and detaching (Preview) How does everyone handle this? My AH's emotional abuse has skyrocketed over the past couple of months. Then we had a lull for a couple of weeks. Now it's out of control again. Detaching is so hard for me right now. I want so much to be able to ATTACH, because I need his emotional support for so many thi...	stephaniej	9	872	Dec 22, 2011 by pinkchip
	Making Peace with my AH - One Day at a Time one day at a time (Preview) My adult daughter and I haven't seen her dad (my AH) for several months. We decided together to invite him out for dinner tonight and made plans ahead of time about what would be "safe" topics to talk about with him and what topics we should try to avoid. We each brought a small gift for him for C...	Green Eyes	2	3256	Dec 22, 2011 by Michelle814
	Alcoholic and dangerous situations unsafe scared dangerous supportive leaving (Preview) Hello. This is my first time on the message board. I've been wanting to go to an Al-Anon meeting but after my husband lost his job, we didn't have any money to have anyone watch my kids so I could go. Anyway, I'm looking for some advice, so-to-speak. My husband lost his job in June of this year. When that hap...	LostMama31	24	10622	Dec 22, 2011 by fgatling47
	Life on life's terms... (Preview) I am still around reading daily, but I wanted to post something that just hit me. Life on life's terms. What does it mean to you? I work at a newspaper and am at the front desk where many many people come in and want to tell their story and the newsroom won't listen to them, so they tell me if I have time to he...	youfoundme	8	1467	Dec 22, 2011 by hotrod
	When... (Preview) I have this question that has been circling in my brain since Thursday night. I stated on Thanksgiving day to my AH that if he was upset with me he could discuss it with me when he was sober otherwise I would not stay and tolerate unacceptable behavior (although with him I don't think unacceptable behavi...	Jackie11	10	448	Dec 22, 2011 by tired of trying
	Communication .. LOL!! (Preview) I have more days where I feel like I'm speaking a foreign language and going about it all wrong. It's so frustrating to say something, say what I mean and still feel like a complete moron because it's misunderstood. At what point am I not communicating effectively. It's on my list of things to address...	Pushka	13	590	Dec 21, 2011 by Pushka
	when you know something has happened... (Preview) My recovering, AH who has moved out (3 months ago) so we can have some space came by yesterday, he wreaked of flowery-disgusting cologne or something...his eyes were blooshot and glossy and earlier a huge bouquet of flowers was delivered to our two girls (probably $60)...um, something seems off?! I...	sookie	12	794	Dec 21, 2011 by pineapple
	Do you let one small slip go? (Preview) So, my AH who was dry for over two weeks and attending AA meetings decided this week that he was only going to go if he felt the need. I just wanted to say "it's usually too late by then", but I didn't. Then yesterday he ends up going out for beer on the way home from work. I asked about his day and...	TLD	13	605	Dec 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	Update to my situation... (Preview) I got a call from the police this morning saying they got a call from a neighbor of a possible alcohol overdose at our address. I'm in another state so I called his mother to ask if she would go to the house and let them in. That is when I discovered my AH was with her, who knows where, and that he was the one that...	LostMama31	12	572	Dec 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	He's baaaa-aaaaaack! :( (Preview) Mini update: my ex RA has been complying with the stay away order [ far as I can tell ] and things have been calming down. Though to be honest I've been really really struggling with self esteem and the blues lately. The kicker: My attorney's office - and I've been hoping to end our contract - told me tha...	rara avis	11	626	Dec 21, 2011 by orchidlover
	Keep going back to step one (Preview) Well, I have not been on to post lately, but I do keep reading and checking in on this board frequently. I feel like I learn so much from this board and that I find so much wisdom, compassion and support here. I am often able to come here and redirect my thinking in a more positive direction and that feels gre...	Doozy	3	319	Dec 21, 2011 by Michelle814
	facing reality! (Preview) Where do I begin? Well...reality is really hitting me right now. Hospice has been called in & my DAD doesn't have much time for sure as I found out yesterday after my last post. My sister is now his caregiver for sure. I am so relieved but very sad as you can imagine. I will use the tools as I have been lat...	Hoot Nanny	4	370	Dec 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Thankyou HP (Preview) for a lovely weekend. This weekend was a bit of a test for myself. I went out on Sunday and left my husband at home. Doesn't sound like much does it. With my massive control issues, it was a biggie for me. Everytime I have left him alone he has been stoned or done things that he knows I dislike. Only recen...	Lindaoakford	5	297	Dec 21, 2011 by amills4294
	My family is so broken right now. (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to al anon. My husband has been and opiate addict for the past four years. The last two years have been the worst. He just finished up his 21 day stay in a rehab facility. Before he came home i told him that i wanted him to stay at our condo and our two daughters (6, and 3) here at our house...	1982Mel	4	486	Dec 21, 2011 by sookie
	Yesterday's struggle, today's delight. (Preview) Yesterday I was really having difficulty in general; worrying about my AH and also just doubting my HP. I am not ashamed to say it because my HP and I worked it out last night ;) What a difference 24 hours makes!! I mean today I am seeing the world as that bright, vibrant place again. Everybody I pass I th...	Michelle814	4	767	Dec 21, 2011 by Doozy
	Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (Preview) This is what I felt like saying at the "start" of my day. Approximately 24 hours ago, I was still wide awake trying to find some peace with my stuffiness and sore throat...I have a cold where you feel completely miserable and there is nothing that really a doctor can do, just rest and vitamin C...	12stepinKristi	8	808	Dec 20, 2011 by rara avis
	newbie needing some direction!! (Preview) Hi all, I am new to this site and even alanon. I am an ex alcoholic myself, but I wouldn't say I was a recovering one as I have not been involved or used any sort of program,just been gripping on to get by. My sobriarty date is 13.06.2008. My bf is an addict and when we met he was in recovery. Last year my world ca...	serenityseeker1	5	513	Dec 20, 2011 by orchidlover
	Setting Boundries??? (Preview) My AS moved back into our house after 6 months of TX, he hasn't lived with us of 3 yrs. I failed by not setting boundries , our th house rules, what ever you want to call it before he moved back home. There are a few things that have came to our attention and now I am backed into a corner and heed to communicate...	debbiems	5	492	Dec 20, 2011 by orchidlover
	WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST LISTEN? (Preview) All I can say is that people need to LISTEN & LEARN! I am so grateful that I am becoming a better listener but today I just need to be heard. I am even unable to type what I am thinking! I just want to say that everyone should remember the reason for this season no matter what you believe. This time of year i...	Hoot Nanny	3	406	Dec 20, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Dealing with family (Preview) I've always gotten along with my husband's family. However, since I left, I feel like I get jabs by their statuses through Facebook all the time. I've gotten to where I don't even go on FB anymore because I can't take any more stress than I'm already under. I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised. It is h...	LostMama31	10	485	Dec 20, 2011 by LostMama31
	How to detach correctly with relapse incident (Preview) My AH relapsed last night - he is not home and has been gone all night. I knew it was going to happen and did OK yesterday, spent a great day and night with the kids. AH tried to called twice and I could tell he was drinking. The first time I told him I couldn't talk bc I was getting the kids to bed. The 2nd call cam...	kael1539	9	760	Dec 20, 2011 by tired of trying
	Not Doing Too Well in the Moment (Preview) When my AH was in rehab I had all the time in the world to work on myself. Now that he is out I find myself focusing on him far too often. It's a slippery slope I'm traveling down. I suppose I need to get reading some Al-Anon literature asap. I have to work late tonight so I can't go to a meeting. The more time I...	Michelle814	14	599	Dec 20, 2011 by Breakingfree
	antidepressants (Preview) Does anyone have any experience with antidepressants-can the effects on the person taking have a similar effect as alcohol. MY AH just started taking for first time and the other day I though he was acting like he had been drinking (not drunk) but grinning and a little silly. Found no other signs that h...	tired of trying	7	554	Dec 20, 2011 by tired of trying
	New and very confused (Preview) Three weeks ago we got the call we had all been dreading. We knew that our 16 year old son had been getting high we had tried everything but nothing worked. The call came from his school, he was found in school with drugs, this is when we had hit our bottom, by the next day we were on our way to take his to an impa...	confused76	6	486	Dec 20, 2011 by pinkchip
	Its on my mind.... (Preview) Aloha family...just gonna put out some thoughts and feelings I'm having at the moment. I'm edgy and anxious. Tomorrow starts the beginning of the "courting" dances I will be going thru until the problem with the police assault is done. I've been left alone with my thoughts and also ha...	Jerry F	18	1001	Dec 20, 2011 by pinkchip
	Parent’s Handbook To Stop Home Visit AWOLs: Part II (Preview) My 16-year-old son was about to return home for his first visit from his residential treatment center (RTC). It had been a very long and difficult road for him. Like a bucking bronco, he fought every bit of the way. And continues. His defiance, like with most addicts, can best be summed up by Henny Y...	Generic Writer	3	523	Dec 20, 2011 by 12stepinKristi
	Thought for Today (Preview) Here's some good food for thought, from Thought for Today's website: Something to strive for Remember, progress not perfection as you read. Working on Rebuilding Relationships Its easy to speak negatively when we do not like something about someone. We often react without thinking and beco...	GailMichelle	5	3999	Dec 19, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Encouragement (Preview) My AH and I attend the Saturday night service at our church. Every week we sit in about the same place. Last night I was picking my niece up from kid church and the man who always sits behind us introduced himself. He gave me a card addressed to the couple who always sits in front of me and told me not to lose it...	Jackie11	8	357	Dec 19, 2011 by hotrod
	need ESH.... (Preview) Ok my head is going crazy with... Where is he? Is he ok? Is he alive? Is he sleeping on the street freezing to death?? He only has what is on his back... I feel the need to call every single one of his friends and just see if he is ok... I wanna scream..................	kris10	12	408	Dec 19, 2011 by sookie
	Ticked at my HP but sure He can take it...prayer request (Preview) I've lost so many people that I cared for in the past year it seems....my best grade school pal, my uncle, then a month ago my mom who was my mom, my dad and my best friend. There isn't five minutes that pass that I don't think about her. Everyone keeps saying it'll get easier with time, and every day gets h...	shellyj123	7	556	Dec 19, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Sometimes my HP slaps me in the face when I need it..... (Preview) I was looking threw papers that I had just piled up on my table... Bunch of old mail and school work from my son that I hadn't even looked at, or maybe just skimed threw... When I come across this home made thanksgiving book my son made in school... I was looking at all his little drawings he made in it... Tur...	kris10	6	342	Dec 19, 2011 by youfoundme
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.