Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I posted on here yesterday that my husband was physically abusive and an alcoholic and addicted to drugs as well. We also have two children together. It all came to a head and his blood alcohol was 4 times the legal limit and he locked himself in our office and took 30 Xanax's and laid down on the couch to...

Jen · Jen

Just wrapping up a wonderful Christmas in a sober home, with my family around, most of the bills paid, a few nice things under the tree for the kids. I am so blessed. After the many years of struggling against this disease, I still have to pinch myself to see if I am really awake. I have all I want, a nice bori...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My mommy bought me a surprise present - a Stephen King novel, 11/22/63 - from the looks of the cover its about the kennedy assasination and back cover makes me think its a what if, what if he hadn't been killed?? Its 849 pages long, and I'm going to curl up and read tonight - sure surprised me though, mom don...

Hayes · Hayes

Ugh! How did I know this would happen?? And why am I trying to change it. He's freaking out. I have three weeks til my due date. He's using badly again because of the anxiety (that's how he explained it). I asked him about cleaning the floors for me this morning. He was saying he needed to lay down. He took it...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all, I hope everyone of you miracles is having a good Christmas weekend. I so love this site and the wonderful ESH here, so much wisdom and compassion. This has been a godsend for me. I'm just going to write out my feelings tonight. I bet some of you will identify with some of this. This is my first Chri...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Merry Christmas Everyone. It's morning here, I'm playing on my laptop while Megamind plays on the tv, not sure why the movie appeals to me, but its cute, entertaining and I'm not ready to stop having it play. Over the last few weeks I've had several people try to convince me of how I should embrace the hol...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I have a couple of questions, how do I find Al Anon meetings? Also, how often is a person suppose to attend these meetings?

LostMama31 · LostMama31

My son had his 4th eye surgery yesterday (glaucoma) and it was deemed successful. However, the followup early this morning showed a little blood has entered the eye so hopefully, it won't continue or it could potentially be bad. I'm praying that his surgeries will stay successful and we'll know in 3-...

kris10 · kris10

To your enemy... Forgiveness. To your opponent... Tolerance. To a friend... Your heart. To a costumer... Service. To all... Charity. To a child... A good example. To yourself... Respect.. Saw this one today and made me think of all you on here!! Thought Id share!! Merry Christmas Everyone...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

My husband is a sweet, loving, kind, funny, intelligent and good man. My alcoholic husband is a tired, anxious, angry, fearful, petty, ashamed boy. Is it bad or unfair that I'm starting to see them as two separate people? Or is this maybe a good or adaptive way for me to handle being his partner? I'm qui...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am excited for tomorrow morning and watching my kids open their gifts. California was Christmas enough for me to be able to get along with my family, so after coming home everything is just a bonus now. I am so grateful for my kids and their health! I am having my exAH and his parents over in the morning...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Maybe I missed a share about her being gone for awhile, but I have been looking to see her post again and it seems to have been awhile. After her late night scare awhile back I often think of her. If anyone knows I would greatly appreciate putting my mind at ease.

Christie92 · Christie92

Hello Everyone... If someone started drinking at the age of 13...not a lot but it progressed over the years and got worse when they were 16, 17 and up...to the point where it's excessive drinking quite often...what type of effects does this have physcially by the time they are 19? My son is 19 now...a...

tired of trying · tired of trying

Its been a rough couple months, but things are getting better-for that I am grateful. Last night it hit me this maybe the first Christmas in 4 years without an actively drinking AH-prior to that he had been sober for 15 years-for the last 4 we have rode the relaspe roller coaster especially around the ho...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just real quick: I hope you all have a merry Christmas this year. Me, I am going to do the best I can. I am still grieving as you probably guessed. Today I am angry because my dad left me before Christmas. I had planned it differently of course. But...God had other plans I guess. I was all ready to have one of t...

orchidlover · orchidlover

as you all know I have to work retail and tomorrow is the last major onslaught in the marathon. I hope you all have a calm, peaceful Christmas. I will be and thats a first for me. I can't really wish for anything more than that. My expectations have changed and that is the best gift I can give to myself. M...

sirchef · sirchef

Christmas for so many of us is full of painful hurtful as well as beautiful memories. Whether the pain was cause in our childhood our teenaged years or the challenges of realtionships in our adult life . The thing we need to avoid giving life to the ghosts of Christmas past dreading the ghosts of Christ...

rara avis · rara avis

Twinge of fear: Checking my phone messages, a neighbor reported possibly seeing my ex RA's car idling out in front of my house. Considering the 100 yrd. stay away order in place, that is not good. I'm feeling kind of afraid, but not a lot. Gratitude: My neighbors are really cool! So glad they're lookin...

amills4294 · amills4294

I haven't posted in a while but have been trying to read others posts when I can. Work has been really busy and frankly I've gone into auto pilot over the holiday. I know it's probably a mistake to not deal with the things that are right in front of me but the holidays are a tough time for me inspite of the se...

gladysg · gladysg

I went to a real estate class at around 1 pm. He asked me what time was I coming home before I left. I told him around 4. When I got home the car jack was outside. When I went to put it back the jet ski was gone (we live up north). Then I went to his computer room and it was gone as well as his papers, and then the close...

atheos · atheos

I have been in Al-Anon for 8 months now. Since starting the program, I have: - Experienced a drastically improved relationship with my sister - Been able to lower my dosage of anxiety meds, and am now tapering off Prozac - Left a job that had bad pay, bad hours, and lots of insanity, and replaced it with a j...

kris10 · kris10

Well my A called today asked if he could come over. I said yes (assuming he was coming to get his things or MAYBE give me some money he owes me) Was kind of strange to hear him ring the door bell... First off I was assuming he would be high out of his mind because he got paid the other day... He wasn't... My son wh...

danni · danni

I know in the scheme of things, this isn't the worst that can happen, but after beautifully detatching all morning (with my two little ones) from the knowledge that my husband got loaded last night after I went to bed, I find the door unlocked AGAIN. I'm furious. Last time, after posting here and spea...

John · John

The journey has been long, and it has been hard...But the adventure of living life, each day has been worth it.I've learned and I'm still teachable, I have grown, but still growing,I do not seek an applause, for to do so would be the same as applauding a cowboy with hemroids for not riding his horse any m...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Here we go again with the crying. I am sitting in my office at work feeling like a bit of a failure.... ok.. a complete failure. Its 9 am on the 23 December. A time I am usually really happy cos I love Christmas. I feel really rejected. I had that argument with my brother on Monday. Wednesday I had a lunch...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Well everyone... have a great Christmas and an even better New Year. Its Friday lunch time here and I am gonna knock off home early from work to do the last minute things. (EKO, early knock off) We here in Darwin are on a cyclone watch (hurricane), so have to do a little bit of clearing up to do. Hubby has b...

callmemara · callmemara

My husband was drunk tonight. He came in while I was sitting on the couch watching TV. He then started groping me and trying to stick his tounge down my shirt. It was really getting annoying. He kept saying they were his boobies and I was being disrespectful by not giving him "what was his". i j...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I am so glad I found this message board. I need to share with someone what I have gone through. I am starting counseling but not for 2 more weeks. My husband lost his job and starting drinking and then started hitting, choking, and becoming violent with me. My husband would not allow me to go in the gar...

nyc018 · nyc018

I am struggling to use my relatively new-found Alanon tools - just for today. My AH, from whom I've been separated for several months, has lived with his mom since our separation. This followed a summer where he drank himself to insanity and lost his job. He has been sober since coming back from a 3 week r...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi All, I'm ashamed to say that I exploded in verbally at a neighbour who had sexually abused my daughter. He was walking down the road alone (we live in the country) when I drove around the corner, spotted him, slowed down and started yelling at him. This was while my other children were in the car with...

rehprof · rehprof

So, my soon to be ex AH called this morning to see if I would lend him $30 to cover his snowmobile insurance which is due tomorrow. My gosh -- he has had to pay his snowmobile payment (!), his OWN vehicle insurance (1), and his own cell phone (!) ..for the last 2-3 months!!! (i paid it previously) Now he has no...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

How has my self esteem grown since coming to Al-Anon? I have learned, with the help of my higher power and my lovely friends at Al-Anon how to admit my flaws, humbly ask God to remove my short comings, and at the same time remember all I have to offer the world and all the good qualities that I possess. I was a...

Moon_Beam · Moon_Beam

*waves* The wonderful people on the AA board said this was a great place to learn about living with an alcoholic. Not that its new to me. I am a adult child of 2 alcoholic parents. My husband is also a child of an alcoholic and an alcoholic himself. We have been married for 4 months and things are not going...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi MIP Family I will not be available during the Holiday Season so I have posted the Alanon 3 rd Step to the Step work Board today I hope everyone has a Happy Holiday Season -- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 22nd of December 2011 03:32:46 PM

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

In fact, the hardware store has never had bread. So, stop trying to buy some there. And when you do try to buy bread there, because you know you will forget and try again, don't be upset when they say they don't have any. They have told you repeatedly that they do not carry bread. Believe them. No one is tell...

Pushka · Pushka

Has anyone had any experience with the book? I'm debating about getting it and I've flipped through it and like what it has to say. I"m just not sure if it's a current book anyone is using or what they got out of it. I find that many of the books say similar things, the books are used in different way...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

A year ago my head was spinning, I couldn't spend anytime alone and had left my AH a couple months before, so I jumped into dating a very unhealthy guy and couldn't figure out how to stop all the crazy cycles going on. I was miserable, didn't like myself and was obsessed and so very judgemental towards eve...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL! I realize that this time of year can be very trying to all of us. Remember to bring your toolbox with you where ever you go! Just today I had to dig in mine in order to not start WW III. My hubby accidently spilled his coffee on my laptop. At first, there didn't seem to be any damage. H...

Moon_Beam · Moon_Beam

So after spending hours pouring over everyone's stories and advice. I know this I want to have Christmas this year. I am ready for this massive step. All of my life holidays have been a fear of mine. I am my familys black sheep, and all but one of my mothers 5 siblings are alcoholics and substance abuser...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

It's easy to forget how important it is to continue working on ourselves during the peaceful times. That doesn't mean walking on eggshells waiting for the crisis to start anew, but it does mean staying focused on the things that help us to grow and resisting the urge to become complacent. We can &quo...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Well I have been to the psychologist for my 5th appointment. As I said last time, we have worked through emotions, what they are, how they present, identifying primary and secondary emotions. Now we are taking it one step further. Emotion exposure. Identifying the barriers and coping mechanisms th...

kris10 · kris10

So today is/was his payday... Gosh a part of me was really really hoping he would come and give me the money he owes me and say hes sorry and yada yada... Of course that is not what happen.. I can only guess what happen.. I have a pretty good idea.. I havent seen him since the morning I had to send him to jail.. H...

rehprof · rehprof

Today was one of those intense days of insight for me...I have been hurting so much, but learning too... I learned today that at times I use my "victim" status so that people will come to my rescue...why? I think I am only worthy of attention if I am sick, or down and out...people can't love me...

atheos · atheos

Poor shy little timid atheos, always acting like a victim... "My dad wasn't perfect and sometimes said mean things! WAH! WAH!" There are people who have been through far, far worse, so there's no excuse for feeling sorry for myself. But those victim-y feelings won't shut up and go away......

stephaniej · stephaniej

How does everyone handle this? My AH's emotional abuse has skyrocketed over the past couple of months. Then we had a lull for a couple of weeks. Now it's out of control again. Detaching is so hard for me right now. I want so much to be able to ATTACH, because I need his emotional support for so many thi...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My adult daughter and I haven't seen her dad (my AH) for several months. We decided together to invite him out for dinner tonight and made plans ahead of time about what would be "safe" topics to talk about with him and what topics we should try to avoid. We each brought a small gift for him for C...

LostMama31 · LostMama31

Hello. This is my first time on the message board. I've been wanting to go to an Al-Anon meeting but after my husband lost his job, we didn't have any money to have anyone watch my kids so I could go. Anyway, I'm looking for some advice, so-to-speak. My husband lost his job in June of this year. When that hap...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am still around reading daily, but I wanted to post something that just hit me. Life on life's terms. What does it mean to you? I work at a newspaper and am at the front desk where many many people come in and want to tell their story and the newsroom won't listen to them, so they tell me if I have time to he...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I have this question that has been circling in my brain since Thursday night. I stated on Thanksgiving day to my AH that if he was upset with me he could discuss it with me when he was sober otherwise I would not stay and tolerate unacceptable behavior (although with him I don't think unacceptable behavi...

Pushka · Pushka

I have more days where I feel like I'm speaking a foreign language and going about it all wrong. It's so frustrating to say something, say what I mean and still feel like a complete moron because it's misunderstood. At what point am I not communicating effectively. It's on my list of things to address...

sookie · sookie

My recovering, AH who has moved out (3 months ago) so we can have some space came by yesterday, he wreaked of flowery-disgusting cologne or something...his eyes were blooshot and glossy and earlier a huge bouquet of flowers was delivered to our two girls (probably $60)...um, something seems off?! I...

TLD · TLD

So, my AH who was dry for over two weeks and attending AA meetings decided this week that he was only going to go if he felt the need. I just wanted to say "it's usually too late by then", but I didn't. Then yesterday he ends up going out for beer on the way home from work. I asked about his day and...

LostMama31 · LostMama31

I got a call from the police this morning saying they got a call from a neighbor of a possible alcohol overdose at our address. I'm in another state so I called his mother to ask if she would go to the house and let them in. That is when I discovered my AH was with her, who knows where, and that he was the one that...

rara avis · rara avis

Mini update: my ex RA has been complying with the stay away order [ far as I can tell ] and things have been calming down. Though to be honest I've been really really struggling with self esteem and the blues lately. The kicker: My attorney's office - and I've been hoping to end our contract - told me tha...

Doozy · Doozy

Well, I have not been on to post lately, but I do keep reading and checking in on this board frequently. I feel like I learn so much from this board and that I find so much wisdom, compassion and support here. I am often able to come here and redirect my thinking in a more positive direction and that feels gre...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Where do I begin? Well...reality is really hitting me right now. Hospice has been called in & my DAD doesn't have much time for sure as I found out yesterday after my last post. My sister is now his caregiver for sure. I am so relieved but very sad as you can imagine. I will use the tools as I have been lat...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

for a lovely weekend. This weekend was a bit of a test for myself. I went out on Sunday and left my husband at home. Doesn't sound like much does it. With my massive control issues, it was a biggie for me. Everytime I have left him alone he has been stoned or done things that he knows I dislike. Only recen...

1982Mel · 1982Mel

Hi everyone, I'm new to al anon. My husband has been and opiate addict for the past four years. The last two years have been the worst. He just finished up his 21 day stay in a rehab facility. Before he came home i told him that i wanted him to stay at our condo and our two daughters (6, and 3) here at our house...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Yesterday I was really having difficulty in general; worrying about my AH and also just doubting my HP. I am not ashamed to say it because my HP and I worked it out last night ;) What a difference 24 hours makes!! I mean today I am seeing the world as that bright, vibrant place again. Everybody I pass I th...

12stepinKristi · 12stepinKristi

This is what I felt like saying at the "start" of my day. Approximately 24 hours ago, I was still wide awake trying to find some peace with my stuffiness and sore throat...I have a cold where you feel completely miserable and there is nothing that really a doctor can do, just rest and vitamin C...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Husband's Feelings (Preview) I posted on here yesterday that my husband was physically abusive and an alcoholic and addicted to drugs as well. We also have two children together. It all came to a head and his blood alcohol was 4 times the legal limit and he locked himself in our office and took 30 Xanax's and laid down on the couch to...	ttpurtee	8	603	Dec 26, 2011 by orchidlover
	Peace to you all. (Preview) Just wrapping up a wonderful Christmas in a sober home, with my family around, most of the bills paid, a few nice things under the tree for the kids. I am so blessed. After the many years of struggling against this disease, I still have to pinch myself to see if I am really awake. I have all I want, a nice bori...	Jen	3	298	Dec 26, 2011 by Pushka
	Surprise Christmas Present (Preview) My mommy bought me a surprise present - a Stephen King novel, 11/22/63 - from the looks of the cover its about the kennedy assasination and back cover makes me think its a what if, what if he hadn't been killed?? Its 849 pages long, and I'm going to curl up and read tonight - sure surprised me though, mom don...	likemyheart	4	428	Dec 26, 2011 by Pushka
	3 weeks to go til bubs and 'he's leaving' (Preview) Ugh! How did I know this would happen?? And why am I trying to change it. He's freaking out. I have three weeks til my due date. He's using badly again because of the anxiety (that's how he explained it). I asked him about cleaning the floors for me this morning. He was saying he needed to lay down. He took it...	Hayes	14	571	Dec 26, 2011 by tired of trying
	Working through some feelings... (Preview) Hi all, I hope everyone of you miracles is having a good Christmas weekend. I so love this site and the wonderful ESH here, so much wisdom and compassion. This has been a godsend for me. I'm just going to write out my feelings tonight. I bet some of you will identify with some of this. This is my first Chri...	Doozy	8	567	Dec 26, 2011 by Green Eyes
	Christmas Morning Musing (Preview) Merry Christmas Everyone. It's morning here, I'm playing on my laptop while Megamind plays on the tv, not sure why the movie appeals to me, but its cute, entertaining and I'm not ready to stop having it play. Over the last few weeks I've had several people try to convince me of how I should embrace the hol...	likemyheart	4	486	Dec 26, 2011 by Jen
	Al Anon Meetings (Preview) I have a couple of questions, how do I find Al Anon meetings? Also, how often is a person suppose to attend these meetings?	ttpurtee	7	877	Dec 26, 2011 by Jen
	Ready for changes and positive steps (Preview) My son had his 4th eye surgery yesterday (glaucoma) and it was deemed successful. However, the followup early this morning showed a little blood has entered the eye so hopefully, it won't continue or it could potentially be bad. I'm praying that his surgeries will stay successful and we'll know in 3-...	LostMama31	7	576	Dec 25, 2011 by LostMama31
	Christmas gift suggestions (for all) (Preview) To your enemy... Forgiveness. To your opponent... Tolerance. To a friend... Your heart. To a costumer... Service. To all... Charity. To a child... A good example. To yourself... Respect.. Saw this one today and made me think of all you on here!! Thought Id share!! Merry Christmas Everyone...	kris10	3	398	Dec 25, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Jekyl & Hyde (Preview) My husband is a sweet, loving, kind, funny, intelligent and good man. My alcoholic husband is a tired, anxious, angry, fearful, petty, ashamed boy. Is it bad or unfair that I'm starting to see them as two separate people? Or is this maybe a good or adaptive way for me to handle being his partner? I'm qui...	ladysoblue	8	705	Dec 25, 2011 by ladysoblue
	Merry Christmas to you all! (Preview) I am excited for tomorrow morning and watching my kids open their gifts. California was Christmas enough for me to be able to get along with my family, so after coming home everything is just a bonus now. I am so grateful for my kids and their health! I am having my exAH and his parents over in the morning...	Breakingfree	3	371	Dec 24, 2011 by Michelle814
	Where is our hairless guinea pig loving Deb??? (Preview) Maybe I missed a share about her being gone for awhile, but I have been looking to see her post again and it seems to have been awhile. After her late night scare awhile back I often think of her. If anyone knows I would greatly appreciate putting my mind at ease.	Breakingfree	2	350	Dec 24, 2011 by Pushka
	Alcohol Effects (Preview) Hello Everyone... If someone started drinking at the age of 13...not a lot but it progressed over the years and got worse when they were 16, 17 and up...to the point where it's excessive drinking quite often...what type of effects does this have physcially by the time they are 19? My son is 19 now...a...	Christie92	4	645	Dec 24, 2011 by likemyheart
	Graditude (Preview) Its been a rough couple months, but things are getting better-for that I am grateful. Last night it hit me this maybe the first Christmas in 4 years without an actively drinking AH-prior to that he had been sober for 15 years-for the last 4 we have rode the relaspe roller coaster especially around the ho...	tired of trying	3	423	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	hope everyone has a Merry Christmas! (Preview) Just real quick: I hope you all have a merry Christmas this year. Me, I am going to do the best I can. I am still grieving as you probably guessed. Today I am angry because my dad left me before Christmas. I had planned it differently of course. But...God had other plans I guess. I was all ready to have one of t...	Hoot Nanny	2	358	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Hapy Chrismtas to all (Preview) as you all know I have to work retail and tomorrow is the last major onslaught in the marathon. I hope you all have a calm, peaceful Christmas. I will be and thats a first for me. I can't really wish for anything more than that. My expectations have changed and that is the best gift I can give to myself. M...	orchidlover	2	324	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Merry Christmas ? (Preview) Christmas for so many of us is full of painful hurtful as well as beautiful memories. Whether the pain was cause in our childhood our teenaged years or the challenges of realtionships in our adult life . The thing we need to avoid giving life to the ghosts of Christmas past dreading the ghosts of Christ...	sirchef	4	357	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	When twinges of fear, gratitude, and humor combine (Preview) Twinge of fear: Checking my phone messages, a neighbor reported possibly seeing my ex RA's car idling out in front of my house. Considering the 100 yrd. stay away order in place, that is not good. I'm feeling kind of afraid, but not a lot. Gratitude: My neighbors are really cool! So glad they're lookin...	rara avis	2	429	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	chekcing in (Preview) I haven't posted in a while but have been trying to read others posts when I can. Work has been really busy and frankly I've gone into auto pilot over the holiday. I know it's probably a mistake to not deal with the things that are right in front of me but the holidays are a tough time for me inspite of the se...	amills4294	2	356	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	He left (Preview) I went to a real estate class at around 1 pm. He asked me what time was I coming home before I left. I told him around 4. When I got home the car jack was outside. When I went to put it back the jet ski was gone (we live up north). Then I went to his computer room and it was gone as well as his papers, and then the close...	gladysg	4	429	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Good things happen in this program (Preview) I have been in Al-Anon for 8 months now. Since starting the program, I have: - Experienced a drastically improved relationship with my sister - Been able to lower my dosage of anxiety meds, and am now tapering off Prozac - Left a job that had bad pay, bad hours, and lots of insanity, and replaced it with a j...	atheos	6	333	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	I think I did good??? (Preview) Well my A called today asked if he could come over. I said yes (assuming he was coming to get his things or MAYBE give me some money he owes me) Was kind of strange to hear him ring the door bell... First off I was assuming he would be high out of his mind because he got paid the other day... He wasn't... My son wh...	kris10	6	506	Dec 24, 2011 by sookie
	Door left unlocked AGAIN (Preview) I know in the scheme of things, this isn't the worst that can happen, but after beautifully detatching all morning (with my two little ones) from the knowledge that my husband got loaded last night after I went to bed, I find the door unlocked AGAIN. I'm furious. Last time, after posting here and spea...	danni	6	767	Dec 24, 2011 by danni
	Sobriety Anniversary - 22 years today! (Preview) The journey has been long, and it has been hard...But the adventure of living life, each day has been worth it.I've learned and I'm still teachable, I have grown, but still growing,I do not seek an applause, for to do so would be the same as applauding a cowboy with hemroids for not riding his horse any m...	John	16	794	Dec 24, 2011 by tired of trying
	crying again (Preview) Here we go again with the crying. I am sitting in my office at work feeling like a bit of a failure.... ok.. a complete failure. Its 9 am on the 23 December. A time I am usually really happy cos I love Christmas. I feel really rejected. I had that argument with my brother on Monday. Wednesday I had a lunch...	Lindaoakford	22	609	Dec 23, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	have a fantastic Christmas (Preview) Well everyone... have a great Christmas and an even better New Year. Its Friday lunch time here and I am gonna knock off home early from work to do the last minute things. (EKO, early knock off) We here in Darwin are on a cyclone watch (hurricane), so have to do a little bit of clearing up to do. Hubby has b...	Lindaoakford	4	363	Dec 23, 2011 by Pushka
	His Boobies. No, my boobies. (Preview) My husband was drunk tonight. He came in while I was sitting on the couch watching TV. He then started groping me and trying to stick his tounge down my shirt. It was really getting annoying. He kept saying they were his boobies and I was being disrespectful by not giving him "what was his". i j...	callmemara	7	717	Dec 23, 2011 by John
	Alcoholic Husband (Preview) I am so glad I found this message board. I need to share with someone what I have gone through. I am starting counseling but not for 2 more weeks. My husband lost his job and starting drinking and then started hitting, choking, and becoming violent with me. My husband would not allow me to go in the gar...	ttpurtee	11	744	Dec 23, 2011 by tired of trying
	Using the Tools - One Day at a Time (Preview) I am struggling to use my relatively new-found Alanon tools - just for today. My AH, from whom I've been separated for several months, has lived with his mom since our separation. This followed a summer where he drank himself to insanity and lost his job. He has been sober since coming back from a 3 week r...	nyc018	5	391	Dec 23, 2011 by Pushka
	Exploded (Preview) Hi All, I'm ashamed to say that I exploded in verbally at a neighbour who had sexually abused my daughter. He was walking down the road alone (we live in the country) when I drove around the corner, spotted him, slowed down and started yelling at him. This was while my other children were in the car with...	Tracey C	10	639	Dec 23, 2011 by Tracey C
	Minor Victory (Preview) So, my soon to be ex AH called this morning to see if I would lend him $30 to cover his snowmobile insurance which is due tomorrow. My gosh -- he has had to pay his snowmobile payment (!), his OWN vehicle insurance (1), and his own cell phone (!) ..for the last 2-3 months!!! (i paid it previously) Now he has no...	rehprof	5	481	Dec 23, 2011 by Doozy
	Self Esteem (Preview) How has my self esteem grown since coming to Al-Anon? I have learned, with the help of my higher power and my lovely friends at Al-Anon how to admit my flaws, humbly ask God to remove my short comings, and at the same time remember all I have to offer the world and all the good qualities that I possess. I was a...	Michelle814	4	451	Dec 23, 2011 by Doozy
	Hello (Preview) waves The wonderful people on the AA board said this was a great place to learn about living with an alcoholic. Not that its new to me. I am a adult child of 2 alcoholic parents. My husband is also a child of an alcoholic and an alcoholic himself. We have been married for 4 months and things are not going...	Moon_Beam	9	627	Dec 22, 2011 by likemyheart
	Step 3 on the Step Work Board (Preview) Hi MIP Family I will not be available during the Holiday Season so I have posted the Alanon 3 rd Step to the Step work Board today I hope everyone has a Happy Holiday Season -- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 22nd of December 2011 03:32:46 PM	hotrod	3	418	Dec 22, 2011 by Jozie
	Note to self: The hardware store does not have bread (Preview) In fact, the hardware store has never had bread. So, stop trying to buy some there. And when you do try to buy bread there, because you know you will forget and try again, don't be upset when they say they don't have any. They have told you repeatedly that they do not carry bread. Believe them. No one is tell...	Very Very Tired	10	2495	Dec 22, 2011 by Very Very Tired
	Discovering Choices (Preview) Has anyone had any experience with the book? I'm debating about getting it and I've flipped through it and like what it has to say. I"m just not sure if it's a current book anyone is using or what they got out of it. I find that many of the books say similar things, the books are used in different way...	Pushka	5	728	Dec 22, 2011 by Pushka
	What a difference one year in Al-anon has made. (Preview) A year ago my head was spinning, I couldn't spend anytime alone and had left my AH a couple months before, so I jumped into dating a very unhealthy guy and couldn't figure out how to stop all the crazy cycles going on. I was miserable, didn't like myself and was obsessed and so very judgemental towards eve...	Breakingfree	7	441	Dec 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	Just want to say.... (Preview) HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL! I realize that this time of year can be very trying to all of us. Remember to bring your toolbox with you where ever you go! Just today I had to dig in mine in order to not start WW III. My hubby accidently spilled his coffee on my laptop. At first, there didn't seem to be any damage. H...	GailMichelle	7	459	Dec 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	Choices this chirstmas (Preview) So after spending hours pouring over everyone's stories and advice. I know this I want to have Christmas this year. I am ready for this massive step. All of my life holidays have been a fear of mine. I am my familys black sheep, and all but one of my mothers 5 siblings are alcoholics and substance abuser...	Moon_Beam	4	407	Dec 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	peaceful times (Preview) It's easy to forget how important it is to continue working on ourselves during the peaceful times. That doesn't mean walking on eggshells waiting for the crisis to start anew, but it does mean staying focused on the things that help us to grow and resisting the urge to become complacent. We can &quo...	DadtoCandE	4	398	Dec 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	5th psych appointment (Preview) Well I have been to the psychologist for my 5th appointment. As I said last time, we have worked through emotions, what they are, how they present, identifying primary and secondary emotions. Now we are taking it one step further. Emotion exposure. Identifying the barriers and coping mechanisms th...	Lindaoakford	4	497	Dec 22, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Cant get this outa my head... (Preview) So today is/was his payday... Gosh a part of me was really really hoping he would come and give me the money he owes me and say hes sorry and yada yada... Of course that is not what happen.. I can only guess what happen.. I have a pretty good idea.. I havent seen him since the morning I had to send him to jail.. H...	kris10	7	624	Dec 22, 2011 by kris10
	Intense Insight (Preview) Today was one of those intense days of insight for me...I have been hurting so much, but learning too... I learned today that at times I use my "victim" status so that people will come to my rescue...why? I think I am only worthy of attention if I am sick, or down and out...people can't love me...	rehprof	8	560	Dec 22, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Feeling disgusted with myself (Preview) Poor shy little timid atheos, always acting like a victim... "My dad wasn't perfect and sometimes said mean things! WAH! WAH!" There are people who have been through far, far worse, so there's no excuse for feeling sorry for myself. But those victim-y feelings won't shut up and go away......	atheos	14	621	Dec 22, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Striking a balance between not taking abuse, and detaching (Preview) How does everyone handle this? My AH's emotional abuse has skyrocketed over the past couple of months. Then we had a lull for a couple of weeks. Now it's out of control again. Detaching is so hard for me right now. I want so much to be able to ATTACH, because I need his emotional support for so many thi...	stephaniej	9	929	Dec 22, 2011 by pinkchip
	Making Peace with my AH - One Day at a Time one day at a time (Preview) My adult daughter and I haven't seen her dad (my AH) for several months. We decided together to invite him out for dinner tonight and made plans ahead of time about what would be "safe" topics to talk about with him and what topics we should try to avoid. We each brought a small gift for him for C...	Green Eyes	2	3632	Dec 22, 2011 by Michelle814
	Alcoholic and dangerous situations unsafe scared dangerous supportive leaving (Preview) Hello. This is my first time on the message board. I've been wanting to go to an Al-Anon meeting but after my husband lost his job, we didn't have any money to have anyone watch my kids so I could go. Anyway, I'm looking for some advice, so-to-speak. My husband lost his job in June of this year. When that hap...	LostMama31	24	11606	Dec 22, 2011 by fgatling47
	Life on life's terms... (Preview) I am still around reading daily, but I wanted to post something that just hit me. Life on life's terms. What does it mean to you? I work at a newspaper and am at the front desk where many many people come in and want to tell their story and the newsroom won't listen to them, so they tell me if I have time to he...	youfoundme	8	1519	Dec 22, 2011 by hotrod
	When... (Preview) I have this question that has been circling in my brain since Thursday night. I stated on Thanksgiving day to my AH that if he was upset with me he could discuss it with me when he was sober otherwise I would not stay and tolerate unacceptable behavior (although with him I don't think unacceptable behavi...	Jackie11	10	508	Dec 22, 2011 by tired of trying
	Communication .. LOL!! (Preview) I have more days where I feel like I'm speaking a foreign language and going about it all wrong. It's so frustrating to say something, say what I mean and still feel like a complete moron because it's misunderstood. At what point am I not communicating effectively. It's on my list of things to address...	Pushka	13	642	Dec 21, 2011 by Pushka
	when you know something has happened... (Preview) My recovering, AH who has moved out (3 months ago) so we can have some space came by yesterday, he wreaked of flowery-disgusting cologne or something...his eyes were blooshot and glossy and earlier a huge bouquet of flowers was delivered to our two girls (probably $60)...um, something seems off?! I...	sookie	12	851	Dec 21, 2011 by pineapple
	Do you let one small slip go? (Preview) So, my AH who was dry for over two weeks and attending AA meetings decided this week that he was only going to go if he felt the need. I just wanted to say "it's usually too late by then", but I didn't. Then yesterday he ends up going out for beer on the way home from work. I asked about his day and...	TLD	13	660	Dec 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	Update to my situation... (Preview) I got a call from the police this morning saying they got a call from a neighbor of a possible alcohol overdose at our address. I'm in another state so I called his mother to ask if she would go to the house and let them in. That is when I discovered my AH was with her, who knows where, and that he was the one that...	LostMama31	12	618	Dec 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	He's baaaa-aaaaaack! :( (Preview) Mini update: my ex RA has been complying with the stay away order [ far as I can tell ] and things have been calming down. Though to be honest I've been really really struggling with self esteem and the blues lately. The kicker: My attorney's office - and I've been hoping to end our contract - told me tha...	rara avis	11	681	Dec 21, 2011 by orchidlover
	Keep going back to step one (Preview) Well, I have not been on to post lately, but I do keep reading and checking in on this board frequently. I feel like I learn so much from this board and that I find so much wisdom, compassion and support here. I am often able to come here and redirect my thinking in a more positive direction and that feels gre...	Doozy	3	377	Dec 21, 2011 by Michelle814
	facing reality! (Preview) Where do I begin? Well...reality is really hitting me right now. Hospice has been called in & my DAD doesn't have much time for sure as I found out yesterday after my last post. My sister is now his caregiver for sure. I am so relieved but very sad as you can imagine. I will use the tools as I have been lat...	Hoot Nanny	4	423	Dec 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Thankyou HP (Preview) for a lovely weekend. This weekend was a bit of a test for myself. I went out on Sunday and left my husband at home. Doesn't sound like much does it. With my massive control issues, it was a biggie for me. Everytime I have left him alone he has been stoned or done things that he knows I dislike. Only recen...	Lindaoakford	5	350	Dec 21, 2011 by amills4294
	My family is so broken right now. (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to al anon. My husband has been and opiate addict for the past four years. The last two years have been the worst. He just finished up his 21 day stay in a rehab facility. Before he came home i told him that i wanted him to stay at our condo and our two daughters (6, and 3) here at our house...	1982Mel	4	541	Dec 21, 2011 by sookie
	Yesterday's struggle, today's delight. (Preview) Yesterday I was really having difficulty in general; worrying about my AH and also just doubting my HP. I am not ashamed to say it because my HP and I worked it out last night ;) What a difference 24 hours makes!! I mean today I am seeing the world as that bright, vibrant place again. Everybody I pass I th...	Michelle814	4	825	Dec 21, 2011 by Doozy
	Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (Preview) This is what I felt like saying at the "start" of my day. Approximately 24 hours ago, I was still wide awake trying to find some peace with my stuffiness and sore throat...I have a cold where you feel completely miserable and there is nothing that really a doctor can do, just rest and vitamin C...	12stepinKristi	8	861	Dec 20, 2011 by rara avis
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.