Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

nyc018 · nyc018

Today it just hit me like a ton of bricks that I really, really have to accept certain things and let go of others. And not just say it but really mean it. First, I am going through a sense of mourning for my relationship with my AH, or rather, the relationship I hoped I'd have with him. Were separated 6 mo...

Lisa77 · Lisa77

I can't get in the meeting room

MelB · MelB

I'm drowning now. I can't help but get sad. I just got on my email to send someone from the meeting a message and I seen that it showed my boyfriend online. (it could be that is email is linked to his phone, and nothing more) Immediately I thought he was cheating or talking to someone else behind my back and l...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

He is so deep into his addiction although not on the actual drug anymore. He is in treatment but I should clarify, has not shown up for any of his classes for a week. He should be kicked out of the program but the director is willing to give him a chance. He had to show up today to give a urine sample to show good...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

Being part of MIP and Al - Anon for the short period I have, I have learned a lot about alcoholism as a disease. My question is if you see your A, showing wrong behavior that is not conducive to recovery. Should you call them out on it or let it go. They will work out their own recovery?

Pushka · Pushka

My husbands mom is suppose to be getting out of the hospital today. God love him because he just left to go and get her. It is 4pm I am expecting kids at 5 and I'm not done yet .. lol. Of course .. LOL .. she doesn't call to let him know she's getting out the poor guy just got out of work at 3pm got home at 330pm and...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

So in 2011 I had two miscarriages, had a close friend die, my husband relapse and find out I was lied to, then my husband relapse again overdose and almost die in front of me, then my husband went to rehab for three weeks. It was the best year of my life. Why? Because I have discovered that these trials tha...

MelB · MelB

I don't know how to get into the chat room? It shows a box but says something about the java script being expired or something?? I would really like to have someone to chat with through the day. I wish there was an app for cells to allow chatting. I need as much support as possible. Please help if you can. Th...

rehprof · rehprof

Just wanted to share a book / resource that has been of great help to me... Tara Brach is a buddhist teacher...but uses teachings from all religions in her work... She has free podcasts on itunes, and a couple on her website. I have all her podcasts, and often listen to them in the car.... what has been awe...

MelB · MelB

It's a new day! I slept ok. Only one nightmare last night. Do those ever stop? I don't know if I can handle them much longer. They are like reality for me. I wake up sobbing and even though I know they are just dreams they rock my world. Now at 8:49am I have forgotten the dream except that he needs a sponser. I...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So, I made a Big post earlier but i couldn't type so easy and just couldn't get me to cut it down to size; would of taken too long so i threw it out here and let it be what it is .. it's on feelings & manipulation .. My daughter is supposed to visit with her dad on Sundays .. Last Sunday he called to cancel beca...

MelB · MelB

It's funny. I'm reading things online about "putting him in the back of my mind" and "stop trying to tell him how to recover" etc.. and it's making tears swell up in my eyes. I do all the things on these lists. I want to change these things about myself and I consider how to attach the...

Peniv · Peniv

think it might have been too long but can't get beyond the thought that I may not have got to be me 13 years on.............could do with some help. My mom is the alcoholic may years of vivid memories in an not un well off family but is money the issue when your a child and then an adult with child memories. Sh...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

My alcoholic husband and I are separating, and I am heartbroken. I feel like I am dying inside; I don't know what to do with the pain. My mother died 3 months ago, my husband is in despair, and I love him, but I cannot live with him anymore. He is unpredictable, and it hurts too much, and he recognizes thi...

MelB · MelB

I'm new to this group. I have been stuggling with the idea of coming to Al anon. Not because I don't think I need it but because I so obsessed with my boyfriends recovery that I forgot to think about my own. He isn't making me focus on him. He has also asked for me to find help. I don't mean to over load the forum...

KLotus · KLotus

Happy New Year, everyone! :) Yesterday I discovered that I would not be getting my expected end of the year $6,000 in health savings reimbursements - because my alcoholic husband had submitted the receipts, intercepted my checks in the mail, and deposited them in his band account. This is one of a nu...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I went to my meeting last night and had the woman follow me out of the meeting .. I shared on Feelings .. and my mother who is 87 and my family, etc.. I was so in the spin .. the topic was joy .. i sat feeling vulnerable recognising that in my family my siblings and parents would sit at the table and if things were...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So, I went to a meeting tonight because I was "Feeling" So bad .. I walked in and the 4 others were joyful, being positive .. I thought Here I am again .. So, I said .. Hi .. I'm Debbie .. Downer .. everyone knows me though but i said here i am tonight .. Another monday and another rough night .. I &...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

My mother is 87 years old .. I'm so afraid to post on her because I'm feeling the shame of she's old, just forgive her and forget it .. be with her now while you can .. someday she'll be gone .. Believe me, these are messages I have told myself .. but in Not sharing there is less of me to be with her in the days she h...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

My relationship with my CH boyfriend has taken my life away. I am depressed, lost, confused, unmotivated and do not love myself and I dont even do the drugs. I have been with him for a little over a year and go figure in a year how much your life physically, mentally and financially can change from one per...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Of course, I have long since learned that when he does this, I absolutely should NOT develop any expectations that he will actually quit drinking. I can't even begin to count the number of times he has said he's going to quit, or cut back, blah blah blah. How do you all handle these types of situations? ...

amills4294 · amills4294

Can any more keep happening? :) I shouldn't ask that... my bipolar brother went off his meds and is back in a crisis center and my daughter is very sick. She's been throwing up since Saturday with no other symptoms and is in a lot of abdominal pain. That with my marital issues etc I'm about to break. A...

tweety23 · tweety23

i just had a real shocker. was checking FB news feeds and someone on my friend's list status pops up.. that they are married. a bunch of congrats posted etc etc. This person happened to have been our best man at our wedding. and (was?) one of my husband's best and oldest friends. This is very dishearteni...

srn2 · srn2

I have been with my fiancé for 6 years. Two years into the relationship his father died, sending him into a depression and to alcohol. We were young and didn't live together and I didn't realize he had a problem until a year later when I found him almost dead surrounded by bottles. He went to rehab volunta...

pinksurvivor · pinksurvivor

First off, I recognize in myself the 'enabler" role that I always manage to assume. First husband was a crackhead, my next relationship was with an abusive drug addict/alcoholic who eventually died from multiple gunshot wounds during a drunken argument and now, once again, right after comp...

LostMama31 · LostMama31

I need to vent. As most know, I'm separated from my AH. I came home to my parent's house for a while while my AH tries to get his life in order. Now, I'm dealing with my dad all over again. He is a recovering A and has been sober from alcohol for 17 years. But being sober from other means, he has failed. If it's no...

pineapple · pineapple

Since yesterday I have been unable to send PMs. I get a message about a problem with the recipients-even though I type in the recipient's name/nick I get the message again after hitting ¨send¨. Please help.

lightningsally · lightningsally

Hi, I'm not really sure where to start. I'm an addict in another fellowship; in recovery for 2 years; sober for 1 year. As I progress in my recovery for my primary addiction I find that my alanonic behaviours and codependency are still lingering and causing me an enormous amount of pain. To cut a long sto...

12stepinKristi · 12stepinKristi

First I do want to wish everyone a wonderful and safe new year. That said I want to know if I'm off the ball here. My AH (recovering for a year and a half) asked me today if he could have non-alcoholic beer. I was very skeptical and educated him to the fact that the taste and smell could trigger cravings etc...

tired of trying · tired of trying

When I first came to this board, I came because I needed to vent and was feeling hopeless (first time) about my relationship with my AH. This was after years of active but controlled drinking, followed by 15 years sober, then 4 years of a relapse roller coast. This however was the first time I had about g...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

Can you take kids to an Al-Anon meeting?

pineapple · pineapple

I've known for awhile that things between me and my A were over. Unfortunately, due to financial and other considerations that I won't go into on a public forum, we are stuck with each other. We live on the same property, but since last summer we live in separate buildings. I've gotten very good at detac...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, I know my family of origin is very dysfunctional but this beats it all. My sister's mother-in-law asked my sister to ask our mother if we would like to have Christmas with them at their house. We have spent the last few with them and we like them. My Mum rang me up to say that my sister had invited them...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I've been sharing on my addict x partner slash father of my child .. Our daughter's been through So much already .. the abandonment of his going and becoming progressively sicker/more detached, etc.. his cold cut off .. he visits our daughter once a week but phonecalls in between are less n less for her...

Sponge6819 · Sponge6819

I am feeling really, really torn here today. I dropped my spouse at the airport this am for him to go to rehab with Palm Partners in FL. Now this is not close to our home and that isn't really my problem. I am jealous. I feel as though I am so screwed up (codependant and angry) and now I am jealous of ALL the atte...

LinD322 · LinD322

Here I am, step 1. I found this board because I believe my HP led me here. 6 months ago, my AH announced he was leaving after 20 years. I was devastated. The past few years were challenging in our lives, we were struggling with a depressed teen (now healthy, in recovery) we entered family therapy together...

hotrod · hotrod

HI MIP Family I would like to wish everyone a New Year filled with serenity, courage and wisdom. We are still working on the Third Step (#3) on The Step Work Board. and will continue to the 4th Step next Sunday. It is a wonderful forum in which we can share our thoughts and grow with the Steps. I found it h...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I know I have no control over what my ah does, but I don't know how to hold my boundary. I told my ah that I would not support his addiction and that I would not pay for his drugs any longer. He went to rehab over a year ago and really did stop his drug of choice. He started again over a month ago. He keeps lying to m...

John · John

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surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

My AH's addiction counselor keeps suggesting he go on Adderoll, my AH is entering a college nursing program and his counselor is concerned about his ability to concentrate/focus. He thinks my AH has ADHD. Everything I can find out about Adderrol all says if you have a history with drugs or alcohol t...

serenityseeker1 · serenityseeker1

i have just come back from going out for a meal with my abf. besides the akward silent moments, during our meal i was looking at this man whom i fell so very deeply in love with when we first met. and i was feeling sad, sad for myself as i am grieving the man i first met but also a sadness for him, who looked to be t...

Annette678 · Annette678

I feel better today. More positive and less fearful. I cannot live in worry and doubt. My husband's resolve to get clean seems strong and I choose to believe him. I told him my fears about him not getting it- that he may be an addict and not just "addicted" to pain meds. He agrees to investigate...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yesterday I said goodbye to my DAD. I was able to listen to the graveside service by phone. It was good as well as strange & weird--never experienced anything like that before & hope I will never have to again. I guess words really can't describe how the whole thing came about. I am just so gratef...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

Well my AH husband came over tonight and told me that he was so much happier away from me!! He also said, that his counselor said that I was probably the reason that he drank. I told him that I did not cause it, he said, "No you didn't, but you did not help either." Those comments kind of hur...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I haven't been on in a while. In early November we moved into a new home and that actually went really well. AH was on his best behavior and, despite the stress of moving, was actually plesent and easy to deal with the whole time. As far as I knew, he hadn't been drinking since his last drunken episode ba...

droth · droth

please forgive me if this gets long-winded and/or scatteres. i've never been through this before and don't know what is right, wrong.. how to handle it!! in a nutshell, my 25 year old asked for help 3-months ago disclosing he was an alcoholic. he lives a couple hours away but by the next morning we h...

atheos · atheos

Finished my Blueprint tonight. Biggest problems turned out to be self-worth (or lack thereof), fear, anger (fear of others' anger, inability to let myself feel angry), guilt (about my sister), and shame (feeling I don't deserve to be in program/getting help because other people have "real p...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Today I went to buy some smoked salmon for myself for new year's eve, bought a friend a nice piece as well, just because I knew she'd enjoy it. Earlier this week I went to Subway for lunch for my family and bought a sandwich for another friend because I knew he would appreciate the gesture (postal worker, C...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

My middle son has recently gone through detox of opiates, once again. He attempted it about a year ago on his own and ended up back on them again. We, his Afather and I tried to get him into a detox program but that was not to be. Insurance doesn't pay for a non life threatening detox. Plus there are waiting l...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My exAH came over to pick up our girls, he had to switch nights for some job thing. My 13 year old was in the shower so he sat on the couch and my 3 year old and I were playing with my new Kindle that his parents bought for me on Christmas morning. He asked what we were playing and I showed him we were downloading f...

Pushka · Pushka

My spouses mom is in the hospital. This isn't shocking considering what she's done to herself over the past few years. It's no secret that she needs to stop smoking and drinking. She's on oxygen and continues to abuse what is left of her lung capacity. She's not smoking packs of cigs any more howeve...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am struggling still w/ the death of my father & today is the service--hopefully a day of memories, good times & some closure for me. I can't be down there to comfort & share those moments w/ my family but hopefully somehow I can be there by phone. This might cause of little bit of a problem bu...

sookie · sookie

I am home today with two sick kids and just sitting around so I picked up an old book about parenting that is one of those 'makes you laugh and cry' books called "I was a really good Mom before I had kids" (it is SO GOOD) but I had read it three and a half years ago when pregnant with my second child--...

amills4294 · amills4294

I am so guilty of this. I keep trying to belive that somewhere in my spouse is the love, consideration, affection for me that I see him show others. Maybe that's why it is so very difficult. As an ACoA I have a real problem with this because this is exactly how my Mom treated me growing up. I am still so hu...

Annette678 · Annette678

10 days ago I caught my husband of 13 years using methadone. He breaks down and tells me he's secretly been addicted to opiates (pills, not heroin) for years and was now trying to get clean. I was completely shocked as I had no idea. He does not abuse alcohol. -I think I've seen him drunk 2-3 times in 18 year...

Rose50 · Rose50

I will be spending Christmas at my daughter's and she has invited her brother for dinner, my son who is an active A. I have been working the Al-Anon program and doing well with detaching. It will be a difficult situation for me if he shows up and has obviously been drinking. I will want to leave and distanc...

kris10 · kris10

So yesterday I got a call from my A.. Asking if he can come over to give me some money he owes me. He gave me quite a bit based on the fact that he has had money for a week now and hasnt spent it all yet.. He also gave my son a twenty (he took 12$ from him). So my son got paid back plus a little more.. So this is where I am...

serenityseeker1 · serenityseeker1

Hi all,I have recently shared and touched upon this subject. But I would like to start a topic on this with the hope of hearing others experiances and ideas. My abf has been prescribed a strong dose of anti depressants a month ago without telling me. At the moment he is still on another prescription whic...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I apologize for the smell. See, my husband is an alcoholic and he can't sit through a movie without a drink. Yes, I know he was sneaking to the bathroom to top off his soda cup with alcohol--I think it was vodka tonight--or he slipped out of the theater to the bar next door to grab something. Either way, ple...

Tracy · Tracy

hi all, i wnt to and old meeting lasr night only couple people there same old faces. It was ovely to revisit. The topic was corage and shraes were good then a new comer shared about how she had told her rinker to explain xy and z to his doctor.I was astonished as a regular member cross talked and helped her...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Acceptance and Letting Go (Preview) Today it just hit me like a ton of bricks that I really, really have to accept certain things and let go of others. And not just say it but really mean it. First, I am going through a sense of mourning for my relationship with my AH, or rather, the relationship I hoped I'd have with him. Were separated 6 mo...	nyc018	8	1372	Jan 5, 2012 by stopandchat
	Unable to connect : java.net.ConnectException : Connection timed out: connect (Preview) I can't get in the meeting room	Lisa77	2	1202	Jan 5, 2012 by Lisa77
	I'm sorry! I need some help!!! Desperate! (Preview) I'm drowning now. I can't help but get sad. I just got on my email to send someone from the meeting a message and I seen that it showed my boyfriend online. (it could be that is email is linked to his phone, and nothing more) Immediately I thought he was cheating or talking to someone else behind my back and l...	MelB	7	600	Jan 5, 2012 by rehprof
	My lost little soul, my middle son, not so little. (Preview) He is so deep into his addiction although not on the actual drug anymore. He is in treatment but I should clarify, has not shown up for any of his classes for a week. He should be kicked out of the program but the director is willing to give him a chance. He had to show up today to give a urine sample to show good...	wildthang86	2	395	Jan 4, 2012 by tweety23
	Alcoholism (Preview) Being part of MIP and Al - Anon for the short period I have, I have learned a lot about alcoholism as a disease. My question is if you see your A, showing wrong behavior that is not conducive to recovery. Should you call them out on it or let it go. They will work out their own recovery?	ttpurtee	6	549	Jan 4, 2012 by Michelle814
	Update for Prayers (Preview) My husbands mom is suppose to be getting out of the hospital today. God love him because he just left to go and get her. It is 4pm I am expecting kids at 5 and I'm not done yet .. lol. Of course .. LOL .. she doesn't call to let him know she's getting out the poor guy just got out of work at 3pm got home at 330pm and...	Pushka	1	368	Jan 4, 2012 by Michelle814
	Goodbye 2011 (Preview) So in 2011 I had two miscarriages, had a close friend die, my husband relapse and find out I was lied to, then my husband relapse again overdose and almost die in front of me, then my husband went to rehab for three weeks. It was the best year of my life. Why? Because I have discovered that these trials tha...	Michelle814	15	357	Jan 4, 2012 by Michelle814
	HELP-chat (Preview) I don't know how to get into the chat room? It shows a box but says something about the java script being expired or something?? I would really like to have someone to chat with through the day. I wish there was an app for cells to allow chatting. I need as much support as possible. Please help if you can. Th...	MelB	2	308	Jan 4, 2012 by MelB
	Radical Acceptance (Preview) Just wanted to share a book / resource that has been of great help to me... Tara Brach is a buddhist teacher...but uses teachings from all religions in her work... She has free podcasts on itunes, and a couple on her website. I have all her podcasts, and often listen to them in the car.... what has been awe...	rehprof	3	430	Jan 4, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	I need to be in control! (Preview) It's a new day! I slept ok. Only one nightmare last night. Do those ever stop? I don't know if I can handle them much longer. They are like reality for me. I wake up sobbing and even though I know they are just dreams they rock my world. Now at 8:49am I have forgotten the dream except that he needs a sponser. I...	MelB	8	446	Jan 4, 2012 by canadianguy
	Visitation question .. Angry Sigh :-/ (Preview) So, I made a Big post earlier but i couldn't type so easy and just couldn't get me to cut it down to size; would of taken too long so i threw it out here and let it be what it is .. it's on feelings & manipulation .. My daughter is supposed to visit with her dad on Sundays .. Last Sunday he called to cancel beca...	MeTwo2	3	332	Jan 4, 2012 by Breakingfree
	My problems (Preview) It's funny. I'm reading things online about "putting him in the back of my mind" and "stop trying to tell him how to recover" etc.. and it's making tears swell up in my eyes. I do all the things on these lists. I want to change these things about myself and I consider how to attach the...	MelB	10	495	Jan 4, 2012 by canadianguy
	any body there (Preview) think it might have been too long but can't get beyond the thought that I may not have got to be me 13 years on.............could do with some help. My mom is the alcoholic may years of vivid memories in an not un well off family but is money the issue when your a child and then an adult with child memories. Sh...	Peniv	12	513	Jan 4, 2012 by amills4294
	My heart is broken (Preview) My alcoholic husband and I are separating, and I am heartbroken. I feel like I am dying inside; I don't know what to do with the pain. My mother died 3 months ago, my husband is in despair, and I love him, but I cannot live with him anymore. He is unpredictable, and it hurts too much, and he recognizes thi...	Iris lover of dogs	20	757	Jan 4, 2012 by Pushka
	New (Preview) I'm new to this group. I have been stuggling with the idea of coming to Al anon. Not because I don't think I need it but because I so obsessed with my boyfriends recovery that I forgot to think about my own. He isn't making me focus on him. He has also asked for me to find help. I don't mean to over load the forum...	MelB	4	525	Jan 4, 2012 by Michelle814
	Stealing? (Preview) Happy New Year, everyone! :) Yesterday I discovered that I would not be getting my expected end of the year $6,000 in health savings reimbursements - because my alcoholic husband had submitted the receipts, intercepted my checks in the mail, and deposited them in his band account. This is one of a nu...	KLotus	4	556	Jan 4, 2012 by Jerry F
	Feelings Update:: Thank You .. Grattitude For You .. (Preview) I went to my meeting last night and had the woman follow me out of the meeting .. I shared on Feelings .. and my mother who is 87 and my family, etc.. I was so in the spin .. the topic was joy .. i sat feeling vulnerable recognising that in my family my siblings and parents would sit at the table and if things were...	MeTwo2	3	396	Jan 3, 2012 by tweety23
	Drowning in Feelings ! (Preview) So, I went to a meeting tonight because I was "Feeling" So bad .. I walked in and the 4 others were joyful, being positive .. I thought Here I am again .. So, I said .. Hi .. I'm Debbie .. Downer .. everyone knows me though but i said here i am tonight .. Another monday and another rough night .. I &...	MeTwo2	9	670	Jan 3, 2012 by MeTwo2
	My mother (Preview) My mother is 87 years old .. I'm so afraid to post on her because I'm feeling the shame of she's old, just forgive her and forget it .. be with her now while you can .. someday she'll be gone .. Believe me, these are messages I have told myself .. but in Not sharing there is less of me to be with her in the days she h...	MeTwo2	6	502	Jan 3, 2012 by MeTwo2
	My story and how his addiction has taken over my life! I need HELP!!!! (Preview) My relationship with my CH boyfriend has taken my life away. I am depressed, lost, confused, unmotivated and do not love myself and I dont even do the drugs. I have been with him for a little over a year and go figure in a year how much your life physically, mentally and financially can change from one per...	Julie3310	9	841	Jan 3, 2012 by Michelle814
	Needing some ESH and guidance...my AH is making declarations that he is going to quit drinking (Preview) Of course, I have long since learned that when he does this, I absolutely should NOT develop any expectations that he will actually quit drinking. I can't even begin to count the number of times he has said he's going to quit, or cut back, blah blah blah. How do you all handle these types of situations? ...	stephaniej	10	550	Jan 3, 2012 by danni
	Positive vibes and/or prayers needed... (Preview) Can any more keep happening? :) I shouldn't ask that... my bipolar brother went off his meds and is back in a crisis center and my daughter is very sick. She's been throwing up since Saturday with no other symptoms and is in a lot of abdominal pain. That with my marital issues etc I'm about to break. A...	amills4294	13	372	Jan 3, 2012 by amills4294
	AH losing all his friends :( (Preview) i just had a real shocker. was checking FB news feeds and someone on my friend's list status pops up.. that they are married. a bunch of congrats posted etc etc. This person happened to have been our best man at our wedding. and (was?) one of my husband's best and oldest friends. This is very dishearteni...	tweety23	7	398	Jan 3, 2012 by tweety23
	From one to another.... (Preview) I have been with my fiancé for 6 years. Two years into the relationship his father died, sending him into a depression and to alcohol. We were young and didn't live together and I didn't realize he had a problem until a year later when I found him almost dead surrounded by bottles. He went to rehab volunta...	srn2	3	315	Jan 3, 2012 by Michelle814
	Deep down I know what I need to do (Preview) First off, I recognize in myself the 'enabler" role that I always manage to assume. First husband was a crackhead, my next relationship was with an abusive drug addict/alcoholic who eventually died from multiple gunshot wounds during a drunken argument and now, once again, right after comp...	pinksurvivor	7	859	Jan 3, 2012 by Michelle814
	When you feel you can't get away from addiction... (Preview) I need to vent. As most know, I'm separated from my AH. I came home to my parent's house for a while while my AH tries to get his life in order. Now, I'm dealing with my dad all over again. He is a recovering A and has been sober from alcohol for 17 years. But being sober from other means, he has failed. If it's no...	LostMama31	7	466	Jan 3, 2012 by LostMama31
	To moderators - can't send PMs (Preview) Since yesterday I have been unable to send PMs. I get a message about a problem with the recipients-even though I type in the recipient's name/nick I get the message again after hitting ¨send¨. Please help.	pineapple	3	284	Jan 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Having trouble putting myself first - stuck in toxic guilt (Preview) Hi, I'm not really sure where to start. I'm an addict in another fellowship; in recovery for 2 years; sober for 1 year. As I progress in my recovery for my primary addiction I find that my alanonic behaviours and codependency are still lingering and causing me an enormous amount of pain. To cut a long sto...	lightningsally	4	867	Jan 2, 2012 by bud
	an awful way to spend new years (Preview) First I do want to wish everyone a wonderful and safe new year. That said I want to know if I'm off the ball here. My AH (recovering for a year and a half) asked me today if he could have non-alcoholic beer. I was very skeptical and educated him to the fact that the taste and smell could trigger cravings etc...	12stepinKristi	7	442	Jan 2, 2012 by tweety23
	A Good New Years Eve-keep hope alive (Preview) When I first came to this board, I came because I needed to vent and was feeling hopeless (first time) about my relationship with my AH. This was after years of active but controlled drinking, followed by 15 years sober, then 4 years of a relapse roller coast. This however was the first time I had about g...	tired of trying	10	353	Jan 2, 2012 by tweety23
	Al - anon meetings and kids (Preview) Can you take kids to an Al-Anon meeting?	ttpurtee	4	2387	Jan 2, 2012 by Iamgood
	Over, over, over (Preview) I've known for awhile that things between me and my A were over. Unfortunately, due to financial and other considerations that I won't go into on a public forum, we are stuck with each other. We live on the same property, but since last summer we live in separate buildings. I've gotten very good at detac...	pineapple	14	647	Jan 2, 2012 by Pushka
	Feeling Disgusted (Preview) Hi, I know my family of origin is very dysfunctional but this beats it all. My sister's mother-in-law asked my sister to ask our mother if we would like to have Christmas with them at their house. We have spent the last few with them and we like them. My Mum rang me up to say that my sister had invited them...	Tracey C	6	543	Jan 2, 2012 by Tracey C
	anyone been in the visitation situation where they felt trapped ?? (Preview) I've been sharing on my addict x partner slash father of my child .. Our daughter's been through So much already .. the abandonment of his going and becoming progressively sicker/more detached, etc.. his cold cut off .. he visits our daughter once a week but phonecalls in between are less n less for her...	MeTwo2	9	547	Jan 2, 2012 by Pushka
	Jealous of spouse in recovery!! what is wrong with me (Preview) I am feeling really, really torn here today. I dropped my spouse at the airport this am for him to go to rehab with Palm Partners in FL. Now this is not close to our home and that isn't really my problem. I am jealous. I feel as though I am so screwed up (codependant and angry) and now I am jealous of ALL the atte...	Sponge6819	10	878	Jan 2, 2012 by Pushka
	New Year - First Post - ODAT (Preview) Here I am, step 1. I found this board because I believe my HP led me here. 6 months ago, my AH announced he was leaving after 20 years. I was devastated. The past few years were challenging in our lives, we were struggling with a depressed teen (now healthy, in recovery) we entered family therapy together...	LinD322	4	541	Jan 2, 2012 by LinD322
	Step work board reminder (Preview) HI MIP Family I would like to wish everyone a New Year filled with serenity, courage and wisdom. We are still working on the Third Step (#3) on The Step Work Board. and will continue to the 4th Step next Sunday. It is a wonderful forum in which we can share our thoughts and grow with the Steps. I found it h...	hotrod	1	234	Jan 1, 2012 by pineapple
	I cant control him, but it is my money? (Preview) I know I have no control over what my ah does, but I don't know how to hold my boundary. I told my ah that I would not support his addiction and that I would not pay for his drugs any longer. He went to rehab over a year ago and really did stop his drug of choice. He started again over a month ago. He keeps lying to m...	dragonflys	12	606	Jan 1, 2012 by dragonflys
	Happy New Year (video from John to you!) (Preview) [video=]	John	3	305	Jan 1, 2012 by ythannah
	Question About Adderoll (Preview) My AH's addiction counselor keeps suggesting he go on Adderoll, my AH is entering a college nursing program and his counselor is concerned about his ability to concentrate/focus. He thinks my AH has ADHD. Everything I can find out about Adderrol all says if you have a history with drugs or alcohol t...	surfgirl123	6	527	Jan 1, 2012 by pinkchip
	wishing you all a happy and peacefull new year! (Preview) i have just come back from going out for a meal with my abf. besides the akward silent moments, during our meal i was looking at this man whom i fell so very deeply in love with when we first met. and i was feeling sad, sad for myself as i am grieving the man i first met but also a sadness for him, who looked to be t...	serenityseeker1	3	232	Jan 1, 2012 by danni
	Today is better (Preview) I feel better today. More positive and less fearful. I cannot live in worry and doubt. My husband's resolve to get clean seems strong and I choose to believe him. I told him my fears about him not getting it- that he may be an addict and not just "addicted" to pain meds. He agrees to investigate...	Annette678	2	233	Dec 31, 2011 by Michelle814
	let the healing begin...he is laid to rest (Preview) Yesterday I said goodbye to my DAD. I was able to listen to the graveside service by phone. It was good as well as strange & weird--never experienced anything like that before & hope I will never have to again. I guess words really can't describe how the whole thing came about. I am just so gratef...	Hoot Nanny	3	301	Dec 31, 2011 by Michelle814
	Causes (Preview) Well my AH husband came over tonight and told me that he was so much happier away from me!! He also said, that his counselor said that I was probably the reason that he drank. I told him that I did not cause it, he said, "No you didn't, but you did not help either." Those comments kind of hur...	ttpurtee	14	615	Dec 31, 2011 by bud
	New Year's Update (Preview) I haven't been on in a while. In early November we moved into a new home and that actually went really well. AH was on his best behavior and, despite the stress of moving, was actually plesent and easy to deal with the whole time. As far as I knew, he hadn't been drinking since his last drunken episode ba...	ilovedogs	2	230	Dec 31, 2011 by ythannah
	Son declared himself an alcaholic and I don't know how to handle (Preview) please forgive me if this gets long-winded and/or scatteres. i've never been through this before and don't know what is right, wrong.. how to handle it!! in a nutshell, my 25 year old asked for help 3-months ago disclosing he was an alcoholic. he lives a couple hours away but by the next morning we h...	droth	13	537	Dec 31, 2011 by droth
	So... that's step 4 (Preview) Finished my Blueprint tonight. Biggest problems turned out to be self-worth (or lack thereof), fear, anger (fear of others' anger, inability to let myself feel angry), guilt (about my sister), and shame (feeling I don't deserve to be in program/getting help because other people have "real p...	atheos	6	389	Dec 31, 2011 by hotrod
	Re-Finding Myself (Preview) Today I went to buy some smoked salmon for myself for new year's eve, bought a friend a nice piece as well, just because I knew she'd enjoy it. Earlier this week I went to Subway for lunch for my family and bought a sandwich for another friend because I knew he would appreciate the gesture (postal worker, C...	likemyheart	3	279	Dec 31, 2011 by danni
	Addiction rears its ugly head once again!!! (Preview) My middle son has recently gone through detox of opiates, once again. He attempted it about a year ago on his own and ended up back on them again. We, his Afather and I tried to get him into a detox program but that was not to be. Insurance doesn't pay for a non life threatening detox. Plus there are waiting l...	wildthang86	4	370	Dec 31, 2011 by wildthang86
	Sickness visited my home last night (Preview) My exAH came over to pick up our girls, he had to switch nights for some job thing. My 13 year old was in the shower so he sat on the couch and my 3 year old and I were playing with my new Kindle that his parents bought for me on Christmas morning. He asked what we were playing and I showed him we were downloading f...	Breakingfree	7	402	Dec 30, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Prayers please (Preview) My spouses mom is in the hospital. This isn't shocking considering what she's done to herself over the past few years. It's no secret that she needs to stop smoking and drinking. She's on oxygen and continues to abuse what is left of her lung capacity. She's not smoking packs of cigs any more howeve...	Pushka	12	342	Dec 30, 2011 by hawaiilover
	it is today but another day to live! (Preview) I am struggling still w/ the death of my father & today is the service--hopefully a day of memories, good times & some closure for me. I can't be down there to comfort & share those moments w/ my family but hopefully somehow I can be there by phone. This might cause of little bit of a problem bu...	Hoot Nanny	2	248	Dec 30, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Interesting way to analyze guilt (Preview) I am home today with two sick kids and just sitting around so I picked up an old book about parenting that is one of those 'makes you laugh and cry' books called "I was a really good Mom before I had kids" (it is SO GOOD) but I had read it three and a half years ago when pregnant with my second child--...	sookie	6	384	Dec 30, 2011 by Breakingfree
	"stop going to the hardware store for bread" (Preview) I am so guilty of this. I keep trying to belive that somewhere in my spouse is the love, consideration, affection for me that I see him show others. Maybe that's why it is so very difficult. As an ACoA I have a real problem with this because this is exactly how my Mom treated me growing up. I am still so hu...	amills4294	8	1858	Dec 30, 2011 by Jerry F
	I feel like I've been punched in the gut (Preview) 10 days ago I caught my husband of 13 years using methadone. He breaks down and tells me he's secretly been addicted to opiates (pills, not heroin) for years and was now trying to get clean. I was completely shocked as I had no idea. He does not abuse alcohol. -I think I've seen him drunk 2-3 times in 18 year...	Annette678	8	616	Dec 30, 2011 by Doozy
	Need advice (Preview) I will be spending Christmas at my daughter's and she has invited her brother for dinner, my son who is an active A. I have been working the Al-Anon program and doing well with detaching. It will be a difficult situation for me if he shows up and has obviously been drinking. I will want to leave and distanc...	Rose50	10	462	Dec 30, 2011 by Rose50
	Progress not perfection (Preview) So yesterday I got a call from my A.. Asking if he can come over to give me some money he owes me. He gave me quite a bit based on the fact that he has had money for a week now and hasnt spent it all yet.. He also gave my son a twenty (he took 12$ from him). So my son got paid back plus a little more.. So this is where I am...	kris10	13	1565	Dec 30, 2011 by pinkchip
	question about depression and meds (Preview) Hi all,I have recently shared and touched upon this subject. But I would like to start a topic on this with the hope of hearing others experiances and ideas. My abf has been prescribed a strong dose of anti depressants a month ago without telling me. At the moment he is still on another prescription whic...	serenityseeker1	6	360	Dec 30, 2011 by Debilyn
	To the people sitting near us at the movie theater... (Preview) I apologize for the smell. See, my husband is an alcoholic and he can't sit through a movie without a drink. Yes, I know he was sneaking to the bathroom to top off his soda cup with alcohol--I think it was vodka tonight--or he slipped out of the theater to the bar next door to grab something. Either way, ple...	Very Very Tired	10	670	Dec 30, 2011 by LostMama31
	recovery (Preview) hi all, i wnt to and old meeting lasr night only couple people there same old faces. It was ovely to revisit. The topic was corage and shraes were good then a new comer shared about how she had told her rinker to explain xy and z to his doctor.I was astonished as a regular member cross talked and helped her...	Tracy	2	286	Dec 30, 2011 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.