Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Peace33 · Peace33

Hello everyone...I'm new to the forum & am so happy to have found it! It's so frustrating when people don't unstand what you're going through. I tried an Al-Anon meeting once, about 4 yrs ago. But, I didn't think it was for me. I had a hard time w/ it because it made me feel like I was the alcoholic....

Peace33 · Peace33

I'm going to my sister's to do her hair soon & I don't know what expression to have on my face, or how to behave anymore! We've been through this rollercoaster so many times, I'm confused between trying to do the right thing & of knowing how to help her & myself. I'm tired of having to walk on...

AusRat · AusRat

Hi all. This is my first post and I am new to Alanon (5 weeks). I don't have a sponsor as yet to ask this question. Although I was uncomfortable with it, I left my fiancé to drink with my work friends at a barbecue last night whilst I went to work. She is aware that situation makes me uncomfortable and upon lea...

Yllek · Yllek

Readers Digest version: Been in Alanon since 2003, changed my life in so many positive ways (I should write a book), have an active healthy life. Married a terrific guy Dec 2010, have a dream honeymoon, happy life on our busy little ranch, perfect right! Oct 2011, I am at a stop in my little corolla waiti...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am open to the posibilities today. I hope for only the best & sometimes expect the worst. The program has taught me to face fears & accept the things I cannot change. I have noticed that lately there are a lot of things I cannot change. The are no absolutes in this that I can see. The only thing con...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

ok, I got hold of a few facebook photos to put onhere. I have chosen things that make me smile today...... My big cat's name is Colin and he is now 13 years old. the big black dog is my husbands dog and she is not allowed near the little ones or she will eat them.... the flowers are a sample of the type of thing...

odalis · odalis

Although I have accepted my AH is SICK. He is mentally sick and he is an alcoholic. My neighbor just had a baby. He wants to act all lovey dovey with me and start talking about how nice it would be to have a baby at home. Ababy of our own. I just feel so angry with him I want to cry. Angry that we couldn't have one m...

danni · danni

After expressing that he felt overwhelmed and lost, my occasionally drinking AH said he wanted to take a break for a few days. I said (I was prepared this time) , "if that's what you feel you need to do". I used to plead and talk him into staying. So within half an hour he left. He woudn't tell me w...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

As I am sitting here I don't have a plan what I want to say. I noticed today that my family ties are really severed. I guess if I want to I can piece them back together. I am only responsible for what I can do these days. I have a cousin who I would like to reconnect w/ some day. I have family who seems distant at so...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Starting my intern next week and have one class to take on the side to accompany it. I'm having a hard time going back to finish college; I took a year off that was Much needed. Now, however, I am looking at things and recognising I have to work for someone. I am still dealing with the area of authority figur...

KLotus · KLotus

Thank you to all who've responded. You are amazing. Truly. Below are answers to some questions, and an update about an incident last night To answer some questions: My AH went into rehab last May-June. He got out, did some AA for about 8 weeks (at best), and ditched. Then he went to couseling, ditc...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

The other day I wrote a post on how do i end things. Should I visit him or not. I already mentally prepared myself that this relationship is over. After a year of cheating, lying and instance of physical abuse and taking a hard hit financially with this person and sticking with him through the 1t time in ja...

glad lee · glad lee

Recovery is civil war, but it is a war that can be won. --Sister Imelda How often do we hear people say, "Sure, I know it's the right thing to do - but it's easier said than done!'' But "it," whatever "it" is for each of us, is actually easier done than not done. As hard as it is t...

stopandchat · stopandchat

I have really regressed in my recovery. I hate my soon-to-be ex-AH so much, and I am so full of resentments. I've been going to extra meetings, but it hasn't really helped yet. I posted before that I am divorcing my AH. He's been clean for about 15 months, but not really working a program of recovery. And,...

GettingStronger · GettingStronger

After 2 years of living apart, ultimately ending in divorce, my ex-husband still begs me to give him another chance. We struggled through 8 years of dealing with his drinking before his violent rampages sent bricks and benches through my windows while I rushed to hide with our 3 yr old. After a DUI he w...

LostToday · LostToday

I've been lurking here for some time, but this is my first post. There is quite a lot of wisdom here, and I'm in need of a reality check. My addict husband has been clean for a year now. A lot of progress has been made. But lately he has been doing little things that bring up an incredible amount of rage i...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I am in a strange place today. A few things have happened over the last few days. 1. Lots of little niggly things have gone wrong like lost passwords, internet access problems, large loan payments going wrong meaning visits to banks etc (more debt for me!!!), phone not working properly.... you know t...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Yes, I have a 'but' up there. I'm nervous and don't know what to expect. If my husband can't take my son to tennis practice tomorrow night, then I won't be able to go but if I can get him to take him then I can go. So, that's part of the 'but', too. Anyway, I think I really need to go. He's out with some tenni...

John · John

LMAO... just wanted to see how many of you would click it as a subject line. Okay, I'll get serious now... Did you hear on the news about the kid that overdosed on his dad's Viagra? They had to rush him to the emerency room.. He had second degree burns on both hands! Gotcha! I truly hope everyone is starti...

amills4294 · amills4294

Last night, while my spouse and daughter were out, I called my parents. It's rare that I do that because my alcoholic mom can barely hear over the phone and she makes you repeat everything and she never wants a discussion she just wants to talk about her ailments. She drinks heavily every night and the...

manty · manty

Ok, I'm not what I'm doing here...but someone(my mother) told me I should try something for myself...I've been clean and sober for 10 years. My husband sober for 9 years...In the last 2 years he starting smoking pot and working for his brother's caregiver service(marijauna grower) I've been the mo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have to let go & move on. I did go to the meeting on Tuesday & it went pretty well. My sponsor gave me my Alanon coin & I was moved by that & the meeting. I was almost the last one who shared. I guess I did a pretty good job of holding back but I had to share my feelings. I mentioned my dad of cours...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

These three subjects seem to be all merging together for me today .. I recognised this week that keeping my feelings in and not sharing on them makes them poisonous Secrets and that we are As as in equally as sick as our secrets .. My feelings through the years have literally been hurt not as in boohoo feel...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... Last Night I went to a Much Needed Meeting... It was Awesome... One of the Biggest I had been at in a while, so Of Course My "Expectation" was that people would be climbing over each other to speak...lol... Jozie---- No Expectations!!! NOTED! We Started with the Book "How Al-a...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, last night I was consumed by anger and the passive aggressive side of me came out. I tried to stay up on purpose to irritate him because I knew he was planning on continuing to drink after I went to bed. Finally I fell asleep at 2 AM and he left the room. I don't know if he drank or not but I made a snarky co...

TLD · TLD

I think I just need to vent or put this in writing in order to think it through properly and was hoping for some support. I think i'm just about done in this relationship as it is filled with lies, deceipt and a lack of respect. He continues to lie, has stopped going to meetings, thinks he can hide stuff fro...

KLotus · KLotus

Last week I made it clear to my AH that I didn't trust him, and that I did not want to sign a loan or a purchase agreement to get the small house for my mom (so that he can pay himself, and get an asset). He could manipulate that situation any way he likes. However, he has brought it up a few times since then, in...

Overcome · Overcome

I wanted to share with my MIP family what I posted in my journal today. This journal posting will give you some insight into what I've been struggling with lately. I might add that my ex-AH has been sober for 2 1/2 years with a relapse when we divorced and a period of sobriety before that of 3 years. He is not...

debbiems · debbiems

So my husband is very angry with how I speak to our AS, "I am to nice to him and go out of my way to talk to him" " I try to act like everything is ok" I was side blinded by this. It came out very angry. I was able to keep my self together and told my husband that he should only be concerned of hi...

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahv_1IS7SiE&feature=player_embedded

likemyheart · likemyheart

My ex-ah called yesterday, he'd been away from his home (a travel trailer) to play at a pool tournament; he was away for two days. He got home to discover that thieves had broken into his tiny home and trashed whatever they didn't steal. His stereo, tv, movies, guns, dad's guns, compound bow, etc. all go...

Jozie · Jozie

Yea know I never really understood My Need for Addictions... Plus I Never really Thought I had that Many...lol... Boy Am I Learning... As Most Know Last Year I kicked Alcohol to the Curb, it took great will power to be strong enough to continue my life as I live, and still go to partys & get togethers t...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Hi! I'm new to the board using this name, I changed because I've been encouraging my sis. to use this board and I wanted to remain anonymous. Anyway, my 2 adult children are A/As, their father was an A/A, my 2nd husband was a R/A, 21 of the 23yrs we were married, he passed in 06. I've been dating a man who lo...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

While we were away in Cairns, a friend of my husbands (a couple who have since become friends of both of us) rang my phone and I asked my husband to answer to talk to her (them). She said that her husbands daughter (previous relationship daughter) had been flown to our hospital in Darwin from Alice Spring...

HoofnIt · HoofnIt

I have looked in to f2f al-anon meetings in my area and all of them seem to be joined mettings with AA. I dont know how that works or if it would be a good idea. Do you let your A know that you are going to al-anon, reading the books, going on the fourms, or any of that? If not and they find out how do you respond? Th...

MelB · MelB

Today is a new day! Yesterday I made a mistake and today I can feel myself trying to start a new streak of well managed behavior. I know he's in group, I do believe it. I just can't help but want to pick up the phone an text him. I want toCONSTANTLY talk to him. Today though, I'm going to work on me. Maybe work...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

I read something yesterday on the message board that made me think - something about when you are codependent, a good day is when you catch your AH in the act, doing something wrong. This rung a bell with me, because often times when my AH has betrayed my trust (again), I am hurt, furious, and then . . . a s...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My daughter is 13 and amazingly wise and talented. We had a talk about why her father was behaving the way he was and at the end we were laughing and she walked away saying choose better next time. I laughed so hard over this. I believe I have broken the cycle and her awareness is so great already, between co...

nnn · nnn

Hello all, I'm brand new to the board and don't know where to start with Al-Anon. I'm hoping someone can give me some guidance. I'm a recent college graduate with divorced parents. I'm also an only child (son). My father has struggled with alcoholism for a long time, but managed to conceal it fairly wel...

MelB · MelB

I'm taking my inventory early tonight. I have lots of things that are swimming around inside my head. I started my new semester of school and it's made it easier to deal with the lack of "whatever" I'm looking for. I always want to put "love" there but really I do know I'm loved by my...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

At my home meeting tonight, one of the questions was, "How have you grown and matured?" Earlier in the day, while taking a walk at lunchime, it occurred to me that I haven't taken a Xanax (prescription for anxiety) in the past six months. My doctor prescribed it to "take the edge off&qu...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

...is that my children might start learning how to use the tools, too. I don't preach 12-Steps at home because I'm not qualified to preach anything. I can only share my own ESH. But, without knowing it, I have started living the program with progress not perfection. Today, in a moment of dismay over my...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL .. I know we are already into the new year however push has come to shove at this point and I'm actually pretty ticked off at the moment as well as massively hurt. Feelings aren't facts so I'm trying not to make any major decisions at this point and time. I am very angry. I feel deceived, let down and h...

Not Alone · Not Alone

Well, ABF left last week - at my request. He is struggling with it. We met over the weekend and I explained that we both need to work on ourselves and that there is no possible way we can do that when being together. He needs a lot of help - he knows this but I'm not sure he's ready for that step. I have spent a ye...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Last Thursday and Friday were hard for me. As Jerry stated I think "I walked off the end of the pink cloud" Haha. That's funny. The amazing part is though, I had tools, and I used them. My sponsor is out of town for a month, which is hard for me but awesome for her. She is basking in the sun, pi...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

so i have mentally prepared myself that relationship is over. I am trying to come face the music and accept the truth of what we had and what we did not have. My answer should be obvious but how do i let him know i am done. Every single Tuesday I go visit him and tomorrow is visiting day. I wanted closure by goi...

rehprof · rehprof

Back story: separated for over a year from AH, currently divorcing. Dated a guy for 6 mos and that's been over for 6 weeks..and it hurt. Living with an AH for almost thirty years, I am realizing that I am starved for attention and affection. So, when I dated this guy I clung to what little he could give me, a...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

My AH looked very tired this morning and his eyes were glazed over, however, he was up at 6 am doing the dishes. Yesterday I looked at the sink full of dishes and I thought "I did these yesterday." So I said to my husband... "Can it be your turn to do the dishes, I don't care when you do them...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I have been keeping you all up to date with my psych appointments. I am not too sure what happened this time around honestly. I do not have any homework to do this time. From the last appointment I have been keeping an eye on blocking feelings and triggers etc. I have identified anger as my default emotion...

monkeymom · monkeymom

Last night 3 weeks out of rehab, his 6-10 (?)th time drinking I told my husband he needed to find some other place to live while he works on his sobriety. It was so anti climatic as if it was inevitable. My husband said he understood, there was no yelling, and just a few tears. I am scared how quickly it happ...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't wait to get out of town today to go to a meeting. I am so bored but I figure it is because I am living one day at time. I am trying to fill the empty places w/ better thoughts & actions. Don't get me wrong; living one day at a time is a good thing. I just wish the days weren't so slow sometimes. I need to g...

amills4294 · amills4294

My spouse has a compulsive spending issue. He doesn't see it, or doesn't want to. I know I cannot change him and he has to want to change or see it as a problem. I see so many signs similar to that of an A. There's always a reason, it's always somebody elses fault, it could have been worse, but I'm still p...

kimberlyrt · kimberlyrt

My separated AH has been sober 43 days now. He went through an excellent rehab facility and he has been keeping with the program and consistently goes to AA meetings, sometimes 3 times a day. And he seems so dedicated to stay sober and it means so much to him. There was a time that i thought there was no way w...

Tracy · Tracy

thanks to al anon today can work as part of a team. Pre recovery I was totally controlling and did not trust anyone but myself to organise stuff. When studing years ago I can remember having to do a group presentation I took control delegated tasks took total control. the presentation was good but to...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife has been in an outpatient treatment program for a few weeks now. It has required me to make a lot of sacrifices related to taking care of the kids--things like having to leave the office at odd hours to pick up the kids from pre-school, being out of the office for longer than I should be, coming in la...

coachwork · coachwork

I'm the son of a career-alcoholic mother. She has been drinking since before I was born. I hesitate inviting her to my wedding because I fear that she will somehow mar the day. If it was just a day for me, I would be fine with her presence as I've dealt with any/everything before. However, this now invlove...

kris10 · kris10

So for some reason (I dont know why) I have started to document the days he is using or if I find anything.. I have started a couple months ago taking pictures and keeping them.. Such as pictures of him nodded out burning himself with a cig., needles and spoons, bags or H, I even have a short video of him conv...

KLotus · KLotus

I recently posted regarding my AH having "stolen" my flex health savings account money ($6,000). There is another situation I need help with please. My mother was recently placed on disability, gets some monthly income now, and has a little lump sum in retroactive pay. My mom needs hous...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

good morning .. I just spent the past week with a family member who was in town; she left this morning .. It's always good to see her and always painful to watch her leave .. regardless of the visit we have or don't have .. for the first time in my life, I'm in a place where I "feel" alone .. and feel...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

someone once read to me a reading on manipulation .. It went along the lines of "Why does the alcoholic outmaneuver and manipulate us at every turn ? Because we still think we can control its affects." This morning I am in the middle of crazy family dynamics .. Watching the roles .. in my resen...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How do you "let go" when a child is involved?? (Preview) Hello everyone...I'm new to the forum & am so happy to have found it! It's so frustrating when people don't unstand what you're going through. I tried an Al-Anon meeting once, about 4 yrs ago. But, I didn't think it was for me. I had a hard time w/ it because it made me feel like I was the alcoholic....	Peace33	7	1604	Jan 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Help! Confused about how to be around her... (Preview) I'm going to my sister's to do her hair soon & I don't know what expression to have on my face, or how to behave anymore! We've been through this rollercoaster so many times, I'm confused between trying to do the right thing & of knowing how to help her & myself. I'm tired of having to walk on...	Peace33	6	440	Jan 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	My fiance drinks too much (Preview) Hi all. This is my first post and I am new to Alanon (5 weeks). I don't have a sponsor as yet to ask this question. Although I was uncomfortable with it, I left my fiancé to drink with my work friends at a barbecue last night whilst I went to work. She is aware that situation makes me uncomfortable and upon lea...	AusRat	8	588	Jan 14, 2012 by Yllek
	Whose BOAT is it anyway? (Preview) Readers Digest version: Been in Alanon since 2003, changed my life in so many positive ways (I should write a book), have an active healthy life. Married a terrific guy Dec 2010, have a dream honeymoon, happy life on our busy little ranch, perfect right! Oct 2011, I am at a stop in my little corolla waiti...	Yllek	12	725	Jan 14, 2012 by Yllek
	no nonsense; just me! (Preview) I am open to the posibilities today. I hope for only the best & sometimes expect the worst. The program has taught me to face fears & accept the things I cannot change. I have noticed that lately there are a lot of things I cannot change. The are no absolutes in this that I can see. The only thing con...	Hoot Nanny	0	328	Jan 14, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	gratitude list in pictorial form (Preview) ok, I got hold of a few facebook photos to put onhere. I have chosen things that make me smile today...... My big cat's name is Colin and he is now 13 years old. the big black dog is my husbands dog and she is not allowed near the little ones or she will eat them.... the flowers are a sample of the type of thing...	Lindaoakford	13	1809	Jan 14, 2012 by nortski
	Fellng kind of bitter and angry today! (Preview) Although I have accepted my AH is SICK. He is mentally sick and he is an alcoholic. My neighbor just had a baby. He wants to act all lovey dovey with me and start talking about how nice it would be to have a baby at home. Ababy of our own. I just feel so angry with him I want to cry. Angry that we couldn't have one m...	odalis	5	527	Jan 14, 2012 by Pushka
	AH took off for a few days (Preview) After expressing that he felt overwhelmed and lost, my occasionally drinking AH said he wanted to take a break for a few days. I said (I was prepared this time) , "if that's what you feel you need to do". I used to plead and talk him into staying. So within half an hour he left. He woudn't tell me w...	danni	9	642	Jan 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	hope it gets better... (Preview) As I am sitting here I don't have a plan what I want to say. I noticed today that my family ties are really severed. I guess if I want to I can piece them back together. I am only responsible for what I can do these days. I have a cousin who I would like to reconnect w/ some day. I have family who seems distant at so...	Hoot Nanny	1	318	Jan 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	Authority Figures (Preview) Starting my intern next week and have one class to take on the side to accompany it. I'm having a hard time going back to finish college; I took a year off that was Much needed. Now, however, I am looking at things and recognising I have to work for someone. I am still dealing with the area of authority figur...	MeTwo2	4	507	Jan 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	More Update (Preview) Thank you to all who've responded. You are amazing. Truly. Below are answers to some questions, and an update about an incident last night To answer some questions: My AH went into rehab last May-June. He got out, did some AA for about 8 weeks (at best), and ditched. Then he went to couseling, ditc...	KLotus	5	526	Jan 14, 2012 by likemyheart
	The start of step 1! Finally put an end to living his addiciton! Refuse to live this way! (Preview) The other day I wrote a post on how do i end things. Should I visit him or not. I already mentally prepared myself that this relationship is over. After a year of cheating, lying and instance of physical abuse and taking a hard hit financially with this person and sticking with him through the 1t time in ja...	Julie3310	6	538	Jan 13, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	How to like ourselves more.... (Preview) Recovery is civil war, but it is a war that can be won. --Sister Imelda How often do we hear people say, "Sure, I know it's the right thing to do - but it's easier said than done!'' But "it," whatever "it" is for each of us, is actually easier done than not done. As hard as it is t...	glad lee	5	482	Jan 13, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	Consumed with hate for my AH (Preview) I have really regressed in my recovery. I hate my soon-to-be ex-AH so much, and I am so full of resentments. I've been going to extra meetings, but it hasn't really helped yet. I posted before that I am divorcing my AH. He's been clean for about 15 months, but not really working a program of recovery. And,...	stopandchat	21	708	Jan 13, 2012 by likemyheart
	Will I ever find the trust? (Preview) After 2 years of living apart, ultimately ending in divorce, my ex-husband still begs me to give him another chance. We struggled through 8 years of dealing with his drinking before his violent rampages sent bricks and benches through my windows while I rushed to hide with our 3 yr old. After a DUI he w...	GettingStronger	10	557	Jan 13, 2012 by GettingStronger
	Need Reality Check (Preview) I've been lurking here for some time, but this is my first post. There is quite a lot of wisdom here, and I'm in need of a reality check. My addict husband has been clean for a year now. A lot of progress has been made. But lately he has been doing little things that bring up an incredible amount of rage i...	LostToday	3	434	Jan 13, 2012 by LostToday
	selfish emotions (Preview) I am in a strange place today. A few things have happened over the last few days. 1. Lots of little niggly things have gone wrong like lost passwords, internet access problems, large loan payments going wrong meaning visits to banks etc (more debt for me!!!), phone not working properly.... you know t...	Lindaoakford	7	375	Jan 13, 2012 by Jennifer
	Want to go to a meeting tomorrow but..... (Preview) Yes, I have a 'but' up there. I'm nervous and don't know what to expect. If my husband can't take my son to tennis practice tomorrow night, then I won't be able to go but if I can get him to take him then I can go. So, that's part of the 'but', too. Anyway, I think I really need to go. He's out with some tenni...	ilovedogs	5	655	Jan 13, 2012 by ilovedogs
	SEX! (Preview) LMAO... just wanted to see how many of you would click it as a subject line. Okay, I'll get serious now... Did you hear on the news about the kid that overdosed on his dad's Viagra? They had to rush him to the emerency room.. He had second degree burns on both hands! Gotcha! I truly hope everyone is starti...	John	7	693	Jan 13, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Dealing with an alcoholic parent's disapproval - as an adult (Preview) Last night, while my spouse and daughter were out, I called my parents. It's rare that I do that because my alcoholic mom can barely hear over the phone and she makes you repeat everything and she never wants a discussion she just wants to talk about her ailments. She drinks heavily every night and the...	amills4294	4	455	Jan 13, 2012 by Jerry F
	i'm sure (Preview) Ok, I'm not what I'm doing here...but someone(my mother) told me I should try something for myself...I've been clean and sober for 10 years. My husband sober for 9 years...In the last 2 years he starting smoking pot and working for his brother's caregiver service(marijauna grower) I've been the mo...	manty	11	656	Jan 13, 2012 by Jerry F
	have to let go! (Preview) I have to let go & move on. I did go to the meeting on Tuesday & it went pretty well. My sponsor gave me my Alanon coin & I was moved by that & the meeting. I was almost the last one who shared. I guess I did a pretty good job of holding back but I had to share my feelings. I mentioned my dad of cours...	Hoot Nanny	1	324	Jan 13, 2012 by Jerry F
	feelings/parenting/powerlessness (Preview) These three subjects seem to be all merging together for me today .. I recognised this week that keeping my feelings in and not sharing on them makes them poisonous Secrets and that we are As as in equally as sick as our secrets .. My feelings through the years have literally been hurt not as in boohoo feel...	MeTwo2	4	506	Jan 12, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Climbing the Ladder to Recovery... (Preview) Welp... Last Night I went to a Much Needed Meeting... It was Awesome... One of the Biggest I had been at in a while, so Of Course My "Expectation" was that people would be climbing over each other to speak...lol... Jozie---- No Expectations!!! NOTED! We Started with the Book "How Al-a...	Jozie	3	1069	Jan 12, 2012 by Pushka
	I opened my big 'ol mouth (Preview) So, last night I was consumed by anger and the passive aggressive side of me came out. I tried to stay up on purpose to irritate him because I knew he was planning on continuing to drink after I went to bed. Finally I fell asleep at 2 AM and he left the room. I don't know if he drank or not but I made a snarky co...	ilovedogs	6	449	Jan 12, 2012 by Pushka
	Just about done with this (Preview) I think I just need to vent or put this in writing in order to think it through properly and was hoping for some support. I think i'm just about done in this relationship as it is filled with lies, deceipt and a lack of respect. He continues to lie, has stopped going to meetings, thinks he can hide stuff fro...	TLD	5	520	Jan 12, 2012 by Pushka
	Update (Preview) Last week I made it clear to my AH that I didn't trust him, and that I did not want to sign a loan or a purchase agreement to get the small house for my mom (so that he can pay himself, and get an asset). He could manipulate that situation any way he likes. However, he has brought it up a few times since then, in...	KLotus	9	368	Jan 12, 2012 by Pushka
	Listening to Chris Young's "Tomorrow" (Preview) I wanted to share with my MIP family what I posted in my journal today. This journal posting will give you some insight into what I've been struggling with lately. I might add that my ex-AH has been sober for 2 1/2 years with a relapse when we divorced and a period of sobriety before that of 3 years. He is not...	Overcome	2	463	Jan 12, 2012 by Overcome
	confused (Preview) So my husband is very angry with how I speak to our AS, "I am to nice to him and go out of my way to talk to him" " I try to act like everything is ok" I was side blinded by this. It came out very angry. I was able to keep my self together and told my husband that he should only be concerned of hi...	debbiems	1	288	Jan 12, 2012 by Debilyn
	Thoughts of now and then (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahv_1IS7SiE&feature=player_embedded	Debilyn	7	546	Jan 12, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Horrible Happening (Preview) My ex-ah called yesterday, he'd been away from his home (a travel trailer) to play at a pool tournament; he was away for two days. He got home to discover that thieves had broken into his tiny home and trashed whatever they didn't steal. His stereo, tv, movies, guns, dad's guns, compound bow, etc. all go...	likemyheart	7	407	Jan 12, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Addiction #999 (Preview) Yea know I never really understood My Need for Addictions... Plus I Never really Thought I had that Many...lol... Boy Am I Learning... As Most Know Last Year I kicked Alcohol to the Curb, it took great will power to be strong enough to continue my life as I live, and still go to partys & get togethers t...	Jozie	2	382	Jan 12, 2012 by Jozie
	Confused (Preview) Hi! I'm new to the board using this name, I changed because I've been encouraging my sis. to use this board and I wanted to remain anonymous. Anyway, my 2 adult children are A/As, their father was an A/A, my 2nd husband was a R/A, 21 of the 23yrs we were married, he passed in 06. I've been dating a man who lo...	Highlyfavored	1	295	Jan 12, 2012 by Mattie
	is this passive aggressive on my part? (Preview) While we were away in Cairns, a friend of my husbands (a couple who have since become friends of both of us) rang my phone and I asked my husband to answer to talk to her (them). She said that her husbands daughter (previous relationship daughter) had been flown to our hospital in Darwin from Alice Spring...	Lindaoakford	11	419	Jan 11, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	A few things (Preview) I have looked in to f2f al-anon meetings in my area and all of them seem to be joined mettings with AA. I dont know how that works or if it would be a good idea. Do you let your A know that you are going to al-anon, reading the books, going on the fourms, or any of that? If not and they find out how do you respond? Th...	HoofnIt	3	587	Jan 11, 2012 by canadianguy
	New Day! (Preview) Today is a new day! Yesterday I made a mistake and today I can feel myself trying to start a new streak of well managed behavior. I know he's in group, I do believe it. I just can't help but want to pick up the phone an text him. I want toCONSTANTLY talk to him. Today though, I'm going to work on me. Maybe work...	MelB	3	245	Jan 11, 2012 by MelB
	Self psychoanalysis an imperfect science (Preview) I read something yesterday on the message board that made me think - something about when you are codependent, a good day is when you catch your AH in the act, doing something wrong. This rung a bell with me, because often times when my AH has betrayed my trust (again), I am hurt, furious, and then . . . a s...	Iris lover of dogs	7	389	Jan 11, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	My own daughter told me to choose better next time! (Preview) My daughter is 13 and amazingly wise and talented. We had a talk about why her father was behaving the way he was and at the end we were laughing and she walked away saying choose better next time. I laughed so hard over this. I believe I have broken the cycle and her awareness is so great already, between co...	Breakingfree	7	449	Jan 11, 2012 by danni
	Advice Concerning Father's Secretive Substance Abuse (Preview) Hello all, I'm brand new to the board and don't know where to start with Al-Anon. I'm hoping someone can give me some guidance. I'm a recent college graduate with divorced parents. I'm also an only child (son). My father has struggled with alcoholism for a long time, but managed to conceal it fairly wel...	nnn	3	316	Jan 11, 2012 by Jozie
	My slip up=My inventory (Preview) I'm taking my inventory early tonight. I have lots of things that are swimming around inside my head. I started my new semester of school and it's made it easier to deal with the lack of "whatever" I'm looking for. I always want to put "love" there but really I do know I'm loved by my...	MelB	3	379	Jan 11, 2012 by Jozie
	Al-Anon is my Drug of Choice (Preview) At my home meeting tonight, one of the questions was, "How have you grown and matured?" Earlier in the day, while taking a walk at lunchime, it occurred to me that I haven't taken a Xanax (prescription for anxiety) in the past six months. My doctor prescribed it to "take the edge off&qu...	Green Eyes	7	612	Jan 11, 2012 by Jozie
	The "danger" of the program... (Preview) ...is that my children might start learning how to use the tools, too. I don't preach 12-Steps at home because I'm not qualified to preach anything. I can only share my own ESH. But, without knowing it, I have started living the program with progress not perfection. Today, in a moment of dismay over my...	Very Very Tired	5	554	Jan 11, 2012 by Very Very Tired
	New Year (Preview) LOL .. I know we are already into the new year however push has come to shove at this point and I'm actually pretty ticked off at the moment as well as massively hurt. Feelings aren't facts so I'm trying not to make any major decisions at this point and time. I am very angry. I feel deceived, let down and h...	Pushka	6	505	Jan 10, 2012 by Pushka
	now what? (Preview) Well, ABF left last week - at my request. He is struggling with it. We met over the weekend and I explained that we both need to work on ourselves and that there is no possible way we can do that when being together. He needs a lot of help - he knows this but I'm not sure he's ready for that step. I have spent a ye...	Not Alone	6	376	Jan 10, 2012 by Pushka
	That, too, had passed (Preview) Last Thursday and Friday were hard for me. As Jerry stated I think "I walked off the end of the pink cloud" Haha. That's funny. The amazing part is though, I had tools, and I used them. My sponsor is out of town for a month, which is hard for me but awesome for her. She is basking in the sun, pi...	Michelle814	6	447	Jan 10, 2012 by kris10
	I am ending my relationship, how should I tell him? I Want a sponsor too! (Preview) so i have mentally prepared myself that relationship is over. I am trying to come face the music and accept the truth of what we had and what we did not have. My answer should be obvious but how do i let him know i am done. Every single Tuesday I go visit him and tomorrow is visiting day. I wanted closure by goi...	Julie3310	5	472	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Dirty Water (Preview) Back story: separated for over a year from AH, currently divorcing. Dated a guy for 6 mos and that's been over for 6 weeks..and it hurt. Living with an AH for almost thirty years, I am realizing that I am starved for attention and affection. So, when I dated this guy I clung to what little he could give me, a...	rehprof	9	1348	Jan 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Satisfaction (Preview) My AH looked very tired this morning and his eyes were glazed over, however, he was up at 6 am doing the dishes. Yesterday I looked at the sink full of dishes and I thought "I did these yesterday." So I said to my husband... "Can it be your turn to do the dishes, I don't care when you do them...	Michelle814	5	509	Jan 10, 2012 by sookie
	6th psychologist appointment (Preview) I have been keeping you all up to date with my psych appointments. I am not too sure what happened this time around honestly. I do not have any homework to do this time. From the last appointment I have been keeping an eye on blocking feelings and triggers etc. I have identified anger as my default emotion...	Lindaoakford	4	334	Jan 10, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	He left this morning (Preview) Last night 3 weeks out of rehab, his 6-10 (?)th time drinking I told my husband he needed to find some other place to live while he works on his sobriety. It was so anti climatic as if it was inevitable. My husband said he understood, there was no yelling, and just a few tears. I am scared how quickly it happ...	monkeymom	7	430	Jan 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	issues, issues, issues! (Preview) I can't wait to get out of town today to go to a meeting. I am so bored but I figure it is because I am living one day at time. I am trying to fill the empty places w/ better thoughts & actions. Don't get me wrong; living one day at a time is a good thing. I just wish the days weren't so slow sometimes. I need to g...	Hoot Nanny	1	297	Jan 10, 2012 by Mattie
	Spouse not an A but other addictive/compulsive behaviors (Preview) My spouse has a compulsive spending issue. He doesn't see it, or doesn't want to. I know I cannot change him and he has to want to change or see it as a problem. I see so many signs similar to that of an A. There's always a reason, it's always somebody elses fault, it could have been worse, but I'm still p...	amills4294	1	468	Jan 10, 2012 by Mattie
	having hope (Preview) My separated AH has been sober 43 days now. He went through an excellent rehab facility and he has been keeping with the program and consistently goes to AA meetings, sometimes 3 times a day. And he seems so dedicated to stay sober and it means so much to him. There was a time that i thought there was no way w...	kimberlyrt	4	383	Jan 10, 2012 by rrib
	team work/tradition one (Preview) thanks to al anon today can work as part of a team. Pre recovery I was totally controlling and did not trust anyone but myself to organise stuff. When studing years ago I can remember having to do a group presentation I took control delegated tasks took total control. the presentation was good but to...	Tracy	2	473	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Coming to grips with the anger I felt today (Preview) My wife has been in an outpatient treatment program for a few weeks now. It has required me to make a lot of sacrifices related to taking care of the kids--things like having to leave the office at odd hours to pick up the kids from pre-school, being out of the office for longer than I should be, coming in la...	usedtobeanyer	10	485	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Weddings...should qualifier come? Mother Wedding (Preview) I'm the son of a career-alcoholic mother. She has been drinking since before I was born. I hesitate inviting her to my wedding because I fear that she will somehow mar the day. If it was just a day for me, I would be fine with her presence as I've dealt with any/everything before. However, this now invlove...	coachwork	13	8133	Jan 10, 2012 by glad lee
	Documenting everything... (Preview) So for some reason (I dont know why) I have started to document the days he is using or if I find anything.. I have started a couple months ago taking pictures and keeping them.. Such as pictures of him nodded out burning himself with a cig., needles and spoons, bags or H, I even have a short video of him conv...	kris10	16	541	Jan 10, 2012 by Michelle814
	Financial dilemma - HELP please! (Preview) I recently posted regarding my AH having "stolen" my flex health savings account money ($6,000). There is another situation I need help with please. My mother was recently placed on disability, gets some monthly income now, and has a little lump sum in retroactive pay. My mom needs hous...	KLotus	16	590	Jan 10, 2012 by suzieblue
	family years (Preview) good morning .. I just spent the past week with a family member who was in town; she left this morning .. It's always good to see her and always painful to watch her leave .. regardless of the visit we have or don't have .. for the first time in my life, I'm in a place where I "feel" alone .. and feel...	MeTwo2	5	638	Jan 9, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Recognising Alcoholism as the Disease it is .. (Preview) someone once read to me a reading on manipulation .. It went along the lines of "Why does the alcoholic outmaneuver and manipulate us at every turn ? Because we still think we can control its affects." This morning I am in the middle of crazy family dynamics .. Watching the roles .. in my resen...	MeTwo2	8	528	Jan 9, 2012 by MeTwo2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.