Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel so stupid today for my post on Sat. I really feel I should have not mentioned that exbf situation. I guess I was feeling a little sentimental & really stretching going back in time. Why can't I just close the door? I sometimes think that I do that because my Ah is not interesting enough--what...

willowtree · willowtree

We are planning on going to see a friend of mine this summer and her and her family have never met my husband and kids. I am already starting to worry how my kids will behave (they are very wild and rambunxious and fight a lot) and my friends kids are so well behaved and they come from a very calm, almost perf...

Hope999 · Hope999

Does anyone have a book recommendation aimed at the families of alcoholics who are not currently drinking and not in a recovery program? I bought the book "Getting them Sober" and while I agree there is some really great information here, it is aimed at the spouse of an active alcoholic....

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I've been letting my A/A daughter clean my house 1xwk. for several months, I got her cable on my credit card, (she needed a credit card) to have it turned on and that come out of the cleaning fees. We have had some conflict from time to time, me letting her have money up front. There was a big problem with c...

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everyone! The serenity buster: I came home from 1 day out of town to find a bouquet of lillies, no card, on my doorstep. I can't fathom who I know who would drop flowers off sans card, I asked around anyway but no one had a clue. This detail is important as the cards were dropped off on the day of my ex RA'...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I prayed for clarity and wow did HP deliver!!! I have communicated more with my AH in the past week then in the previous 9 months. We sat on the porch yesterday and talked for hours. He hasn't had a drink since Thursday, and I know that this could change at any time his recovery is his own, I simply asked him t...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

(tried to fix formatting, missed some) I'm no expert on anything, well except for my own life

This will be long - I won't be hurt if you don't read it LOL. I thought I'd share the "healthy detachment" perspective as it relates to someone who isnt an alcoholic. Because healthy detac...

HAguirre · HAguirre

OK so my husband is now 9 months sober and within the past 2. Weeks he has started to get emotionally mean again. I feel emotionally tired and he sayhes going to help but doesn't I work 7 days a week he works 3 and he says mean things to me when I take naps before I go to work he just told me that if I keep making him...

Oksie · Oksie

HI I usually take the day off from work for my daughters anniversary etc. I think last year I didnt' because I had taken holidays and also had put in my resignation from that job. Today I was going to go to work. Last night I wondered why I would make this year different. 22 years why this year different...

maire rua · maire rua

Am doing ok, collected son this afternoon as we need to prepare for his move down south. He threw wobblers and was quite difficult. I felt quite stressed but got to a meeting and it passed. Told him that I could not envisage him living under my roof again and indeed I cannot at present. It has been a very st...

thechee · thechee

Its been 4 weeks NC...he's called twice 'blocked' and I didn't answer. I can't believe this is happening. Tho I was officially the dumper...it feels no better as I didn't want to leave I felt forced to. I had to choose between my sanity or his alcoholic selfishness. I chose to save myself. I miss him (the...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

By it, I mean any sense of serenity or peace or anything that would be considered a sign of successfuly working my program. I don't know what has caused this but I feel almost like I'm back at the beginning. Completely focused on my wife and what she is doing or not doing. Happy when she is happy and unhappy...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH and I have been having some very intense conversations about my feelings and about my intentions for myself in the future. How I am ready to set up boundaries and how I expect myself to behave from now on. I've shared a lot of my fears. I've cried a lot. And, he's just been there, being supportive...

KateEN · KateEN

Taking care of myself is a completely new concept. I've always been the people pleaser- I'm the one who would always say yes without hesitation. Today I said I would show up to an event even though didn't want to. The trains ended up being a mess and it would have been over an hour commute & the thoug...

Jerry F · Jerry F

but never my life. Aloha Family...I made a long overdue contact with an an ex-sponsor this afternoon who was still friendly and close to my major sponsor in Al-Anon. We all use to hang together and so I was in great recovery company. The news came that Don T, passed into the "other" room in...

mr5191 · mr5191

Third post on this board. Been riding the ups and downs of living with an alcoholic. Good days and bad days. My AW is going to AA meetings almost every night but still actively drinking. Kind of wonder why she even bothers on going. She openly admits she cannot control it. While at her meetings, sh...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL!! Boy did I get a reality check. I no longer have the luxury to feel sorry for myself. I did wake up today feeling like son of a gun, I want to have a temper tantrum and darn it I want MY way RIGHT NOW!!! HA HA .. I'll let you know how that's working for me .. LOL!! I'm going to wind up going over another log...

daisy31 · daisy31

I was being nosy the other day about our neighbors and my son told me "Mom, stay in your own hoola-hoop!" I so needed to hear those words from them. I like teaching them about this program for many ways.... keeping their momma in check works too! :D

Oksie · Oksie

I posted this on the ACOA board as I guess its more dealing with that side of things.... but I know many of you are ACOA but just dont go to that board.... so thought I would post here too. Would be great to hear some of the wise words of you guys over there though... theres only a few of us active on the site. Hi...

sirchef · sirchef

Well just a little note about this site. It has been a god send for so many of us. We have been truly blessed to have a venue to come and find help and comfort. Recently the chat room meetings have been experiencing a leadership vacuum. Never enough chairs, dwindling attendance because of a lack of consis...

RR · RR

On March 4th I entered this community. Just to review, I have been in a relationship with my husband for 3 1/2 years and married for almost a year. He has been an alcholic for most of his life. I have been tolerated this since we met. At first we drank together. I truly didn't know he had such a deep problem. L...

AlexisK · AlexisK

Where do I start? I feel so stupid, and naive, for believing that my husband was actually keeping his promise, that he had stopped drinking. He doesn't get fall down drunk, not at first. He begins slowly, sneaking (always sneaking, never in front of me or anybody else) a few beers- admittedly behin...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I attended an anniversary meeting for the first time last night (not sure if these are common at all Al Anon groups?). We had 3 speakers, one from AA, one from Alateen, and one from Al Anon. It was a great meeting and really rejuvinated me. The AA speaker talked about how being drunk made her feel alive and...

Alea · Alea

I'm new here. There is one alcoholic and one recovered alcoholic in my mother's immediate family. I hardly have a story to tell about them because I totally and completely avoid them, and have since I was a little kid. But...it's like there's a second-hand effect. I ended up dating an alcoholic (4 year...

rehprof · rehprof

ex A shows up to pick up 15 year old. Mild alcohol smell..leftover from last night? scares me bc my 9 year old was with him yesterday Feeling guilty that I didn't breathalzye him before letting him take my 15 year old... he has no job, no money, offers not one dime for child support.... he tells me he got a gr...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I have to laugh so I don't cry. I've been at my current career for 6 years, promoted twice. I guess because I'd have to admit I'm an enabler here. Since I'm a single mom and my ex provides zero financial support for my kids, I do what I have to for a paycheck and am actively looking outside for a new job. I di...

amills4294 · amills4294

I like the message and guidance this program offers. I believe many would benefit from it even if they don't have alcohol in their lives. My spouse and I are also in counseling and the format and philosophy is so very different than what we learn in this program to the point that I feel conflicted. She r...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

So, Ive been working my program and doing pretty well. I thought my ah was doing well too, until today. I left yesterday on a business trip. I get a text today from a woman I don't know explaining she went to school w my husband and that last night he sent her a text that only read "?", she says he pr...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I saw a tax lawyer today and will see my tax advisor tomorrow. I'm so exhausted by the huge mess I am in due to my AH's business mess. I can't fix it- it's out of my hands. I didn't cause it, yet I might lose everything I have worked hard for. This is not right. The anger that is inside me right now is all consumin...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Since I truly gave up my life to my HP and started to live in reality, I have noticed a coorelation. Each time I have made a conscious choice to accept life on life's terms, something wonderful opens up for me. You might recall from past posts that I have been struggling with losing my in-laws. It's real...

Pushka · Pushka

AND this time no flipping over backwards on logs .. geeze!! No great pithanies of healing, and no need to analyze what I'm doing or not doing. I couldn't get the stupid mower started now I'm thinking I want one of those push button starters. I've never started a mower like this before so that will wait...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

My life for the past 9 months has been in a word exhausting. I've been actively participating in Al-Anon for the past 5 months. I've learned, I've grown, I've most certainly appreciated this board and the program! A pattern had developed in my marriage. Something would come up about every 2 weeks and m...

daisy31 · daisy31

I saw this on FB this morning and I liked it so I thought I would share with ya'll. "I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours and Gods. Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our business. When I think, You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on t...

nyc018 · nyc018

There have been some posts on spouses/significant others who are sober, either working a program or not, and I thought Id chime in with my own issue. My AH and I separated last year after his drinking got out of control. After he, for lack of better term, lost his mind and got fired from his job, he entere...

Pushka · Pushka

I have to give myself an atta girl because I have just sorted through 2 years of paperwork on the inside of my house. I have cleared out 4 large totes as well as numerous plastic shopping bags (more than 9) of paperwork, garbage you name it. It has taken me 7 days or so to get through it all .. I just kept doing...

daisy31 · daisy31

Hey ya'll! I was wondering if getting overwhelmed easily was something that is common among people in the program. I remember my mother being EXTREMELY overwhelmed from things going on around her. She was very affected by alcohol in her growing up years but never really drank herself. Now bein...

daisy31 · daisy31

I was searching through old posts on this board and found this great interview someone posted awhile back. I thought I would post it again. It is really inspiring and it shows that ANYONE can be affected by this disease of alcoholism. I love how Ashley talks about recovery. http://www.bing.com...

respect · respect

My divorce will be final in a number of weeks. I have lived on my own since July. And most recently I've filed felony theft charges on my husband. I didn't want any of this. It still isn't what I want. But I felt they were the only choices I had left. Now I don't know what to do. He still has this idea that we can m...

pineapple · pineapple

My A has recently been on a non stop binge. Even with all of my alanon superpowers I admit that it was starting to get to me. The good news - a friend of ours is out of the country for a few months. I asked him if I could use his house while he is gone. He gave me the keys before he left. So I am currently enjoying hav...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can only make a short post as it is almost time to go! I am doing so well that I am not going to complain: not once today! God is so good to me & I am so grateful! I am even back to putting exclamation points at the end of my sentences!!!!!! To those of you who don't know me, I have bipolar disorder & I am k...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Yep that is right, ME. The guy was a perfect gentleman, took me bowling and to a nice dinner. He opened doors for me and paid for everything and looks forward to taking me out again, if I would allow it he said. I am thinking I am going to like this dating thing. I didn't feel like I owed him anything of myself (...

Pris · Pris

My husband drank a lot when we first got together. I didn't like it and since his mother is definitely an alcoholic, I told him I was concerned he would become an alcoholic too. Before we were married, he cut back his drinking to a couple of beers or glasses of wine a night and he has mostly kept to that for th...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

I thought my in laws and I were close. They called me their daughter. I opened up to them about my own family, who I do not have a relationship with. I really bonded with the children in the family as well. 2 weeks separated and none of them acknowledged my birthday. Not even a note on my stupid Facebook...

stephaniej · stephaniej

"If the grass is greener on the other side, it's time to water your grass." EXACTLY what I needed to see today. Thank you, HP, for sending me the message I needed for my own serenity and emotional health.

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi all, my wife is in recovery and things are going pretty well. We relate better to each other then we did a year or two ago, as we have both learned a lot about how to navigate through challenging times as a result of both of our programs. That being said, we are in no way connected on the level we once were. T...

gojojo · gojojo

Anyone married to a recovering alcohlic who also suffers from Borderline Personality disorder...or any other personality disorder (Bi-polar, Narcissistic Personality Disorder..they are similar). My wife is 8 months sober and was diagnosed with BPD in Nov. She is quite a handful. We have 3...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi.... previously on Oksie..... As many of you may remember, I have been away with work. My husband came with me and the location was his old city where he lived for 21 years and was a massive pot addict. He came with me to see his kids primarily and to catch up with friends. This means... .catch up wtih p...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

One Day at a Time...The Next Right Thing...etc. 2 weeks ago, my AH and I agreed to divorce. In 3 weeks, I face becoming homeless and am currently unemployed. Tomorrow is my 34th birthday. The grief and enormity of my situation hit me like a million pounds to the face last night. I am at peace with the e...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH came by my office today (just drove to the curb- I didn't want to have him come into my office now that we are separated) to drop off some documents that I need in order to fight my way out of the IRS mess he has created. I asked him if he had paid the rent on our house (he has an arrangement with the mortgage...

Hope999 · Hope999

My alcoholic husband gave up drinking about 8 years ago when it was my way or the highway for him. He stopped drinking cold turkey and without the support of a major group or program. At the time, I thought that was ok because we have two children (ages 6 and 8) and he is a good and loving father. I truly beli...

dianah · dianah

Hello, I am a stay at home homeschooler with five children at home. Last year my husband underwent a massive heart attack and major heart surgery. His father died from alcoholism and addiction struggles have peppered our entire marriage. The heart attack has, for lack of a better term, heighten...

debbiems · debbiems

My AS 22 yrs old drove the pickup down our mile and a half dirt road, it has snowed and the road is horrible, needless to say he wrecked it. My husband came unglued. I have never seen him so angry and our AS has done alot of things but i guess this was the topping on the cake. He told our son that he has 3 weeks to g...

WantBetterforAll · WantBetterforAll

Hello, My first time here. I know the answer, I really do. I have seen so many posts on different sites about this. The answer is: I need to leave him behind, and focus on myself and my healing. He is (like they are) wonderful, handsome, charming beyond belief, talented. I have always felt that we had a &q...

brit · brit

Where do I start....I have a 25 year old son. after 3 DUIs in only a couple of months I realized he was an alcoholic. Not that I am stupid...just NEVER saw him drink or drunk! He agreed to rehab, and spent a month in. Court is finished and he has lost his license for 7 years and on probation for 1 1/2 years with a...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hey everyone, so the calls started again tnite - this time they weren't as bad because from the beginning I said I didn't want to get into an argument because I knew he had been drinking. He didn't even try to defend himself and let me get off the phone without a hassel. I have been very good about setting bo...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Am I allowed to say that in my thread title? I really am struggling with my emotions towards my AH. I get irritated at everything he says. I am totally on edge and I wonder if I love him anymore. It tears me apart to say that and I don't want it to be the end of our marriage but I am really struggling with wher...

maire rua · maire rua

We had an appointment with a counsellor at a treatment centre today. Unfortunately the counsellor made it clear that if I could not stay for the screening he would not see my son. It is recommended on their website that a family member would be present, however, it was more than a recommendation today....

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I have asked a bit about this topic before but will try to be more specific. I am an AAer for years now and just started going to ACA and Alanon. thru the steps thoroughly but can't sleep at night. I am oftentimes awake at 2 and 3 am and am absolutely exhausted all the time, bags under my eyes, full of fear, can...

daisy31 · daisy31

I am having trouble figuring out how to be able to get into the chat rooms. I would like to be able to do meetings some and chat as well but I can't figure it out. Is there some steps (haha no pun intended ;) on how to do this? Thanks so much for your help.

Grace7 · Grace7

There seems to be a gap in meetings lately. Has anyone else noticed this? What is up? Is there a need for more moderators? If so, someone in the know...contact me. I have come here for Years with the exception of my down time treating and recovering from cancer. Am healthy now!:) In all ways. I us...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I feel so stupid... (Preview) I feel so stupid today for my post on Sat. I really feel I should have not mentioned that exbf situation. I guess I was feeling a little sentimental & really stretching going back in time. Why can't I just close the door? I sometimes think that I do that because my Ah is not interesting enough--what...	Hoot Nanny	3	404	Mar 27, 2012 by Wolfie55
	worrying what they will think (Preview) We are planning on going to see a friend of mine this summer and her and her family have never met my husband and kids. I am already starting to worry how my kids will behave (they are very wild and rambunxious and fight a lot) and my friends kids are so well behaved and they come from a very calm, almost perf...	willowtree	6	623	Mar 27, 2012 by willowtree
	Book Recommendations??? (Preview) Does anyone have a book recommendation aimed at the families of alcoholics who are not currently drinking and not in a recovery program? I bought the book "Getting them Sober" and while I agree there is some really great information here, it is aimed at the spouse of an active alcoholic....	Hope999	12	635	Mar 27, 2012 by Hope999
	A new day! (Preview) I've been letting my A/A daughter clean my house 1xwk. for several months, I got her cable on my credit card, (she needed a credit card) to have it turned on and that come out of the cleaning fees. We have had some conflict from time to time, me letting her have money up front. There was a big problem with c...	Highlyfavored	1	425	Mar 27, 2012 by Grace7
	Gratitude: modern technology! (Preview) Hi everyone! The serenity buster: I came home from 1 day out of town to find a bouquet of lillies, no card, on my doorstep. I can't fathom who I know who would drop flowers off sans card, I asked around anyway but no one had a clue. This detail is important as the cards were dropped off on the day of my ex RA'...	rara avis	5	482	Mar 27, 2012 by rara avis
	Clarity (Preview) I prayed for clarity and wow did HP deliver!!! I have communicated more with my AH in the past week then in the previous 9 months. We sat on the porch yesterday and talked for hours. He hasn't had a drink since Thursday, and I know that this could change at any time his recovery is his own, I simply asked him t...	Jackie11	5	520	Mar 27, 2012 by Michelle814
	Detachment, still learning (Preview) (tried to fix formatting, missed some) I'm no expert on anything, well except for my own life This will be long - I won't be hurt if you don't read it LOL. I thought I'd share the "healthy detachment" perspective as it relates to someone who isnt an alcoholic. Because healthy detac...	AStrongerMe	6	700	Mar 27, 2012 by Oksie
	though it would get better (Preview) OK so my husband is now 9 months sober and within the past 2. Weeks he has started to get emotionally mean again. I feel emotionally tired and he sayhes going to help but doesn't I work 7 days a week he works 3 and he says mean things to me when I take naps before I go to work he just told me that if I keep making him...	HAguirre	2	577	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	taking the time (Preview) HI I usually take the day off from work for my daughters anniversary etc. I think last year I didnt' because I had taken holidays and also had put in my resignation from that job. Today I was going to go to work. Last night I wondered why I would make this year different. 22 years why this year different...	Oksie	3	479	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	update on crazy days (Preview) Am doing ok, collected son this afternoon as we need to prepare for his move down south. He threw wobblers and was quite difficult. I felt quite stressed but got to a meeting and it passed. Told him that I could not envisage him living under my roof again and indeed I cannot at present. It has been a very st...	maire rua	3	416	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Same old sob story, but new to me.... (Preview) Its been 4 weeks NC...he's called twice 'blocked' and I didn't answer. I can't believe this is happening. Tho I was officially the dumper...it feels no better as I didn't want to leave I felt forced to. I had to choose between my sanity or his alcoholic selfishness. I chose to save myself. I miss him (the...	thechee	9	940	Mar 27, 2012 by Auntyaya
	I've lost it, I know how to get it back, but not sure I want it (Preview) By it, I mean any sense of serenity or peace or anything that would be considered a sign of successfuly working my program. I don't know what has caused this but I feel almost like I'm back at the beginning. Completely focused on my wife and what she is doing or not doing. Happy when she is happy and unhappy...	usedtobeanyer	13	684	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	My best friend is back, and I'm scared (Preview) My AH and I have been having some very intense conversations about my feelings and about my intentions for myself in the future. How I am ready to set up boundaries and how I expect myself to behave from now on. I've shared a lot of my fears. I've cried a lot. And, he's just been there, being supportive...	ilovedogs	8	607	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Taking care of myself? Without guilt?! People pleasing (Preview) Taking care of myself is a completely new concept. I've always been the people pleaser- I'm the one who would always say yes without hesitation. Today I said I would show up to an event even though didn't want to. The trains ended up being a mess and it would have been over an hour commute & the thoug...	KateEN	6	746	Mar 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Don T has left the room... (Preview) but never my life. Aloha Family...I made a long overdue contact with an an ex-sponsor this afternoon who was still friendly and close to my major sponsor in Al-Anon. We all use to hang together and so I was in great recovery company. The news came that Don T, passed into the "other" room in...	Jerry F	8	509	Mar 26, 2012 by canadianguy
	accepting relationships in AA??? (Preview) Third post on this board. Been riding the ups and downs of living with an alcoholic. Good days and bad days. My AW is going to AA meetings almost every night but still actively drinking. Kind of wonder why she even bothers on going. She openly admits she cannot control it. While at her meetings, sh...	mr5191	10	730	Mar 26, 2012 by mr5191
	Feeling sorry for myself .. (Preview) LOL!! Boy did I get a reality check. I no longer have the luxury to feel sorry for myself. I did wake up today feeling like son of a gun, I want to have a temper tantrum and darn it I want MY way RIGHT NOW!!! HA HA .. I'll let you know how that's working for me .. LOL!! I'm going to wind up going over another log...	Pushka	10	655	Mar 26, 2012 by nyc018
	Something funny with my kiddos. (Preview) I was being nosy the other day about our neighbors and my son told me "Mom, stay in your own hoola-hoop!" I so needed to hear those words from them. I like teaching them about this program for many ways.... keeping their momma in check works too! :D	daisy31	5	416	Mar 26, 2012 by abbyal
	My daugter (Preview) I posted this on the ACOA board as I guess its more dealing with that side of things.... but I know many of you are ACOA but just dont go to that board.... so thought I would post here too. Would be great to hear some of the wise words of you guys over there though... theres only a few of us active on the site. Hi...	Oksie	13	682	Mar 26, 2012 by pineapple
	use it or lose it? (Preview) Well just a little note about this site. It has been a god send for so many of us. We have been truly blessed to have a venue to come and find help and comfort. Recently the chat room meetings have been experiencing a leadership vacuum. Never enough chairs, dwindling attendance because of a lack of consis...	sirchef	6	504	Mar 26, 2012 by wp
	I feel like a fool (Preview) On March 4th I entered this community. Just to review, I have been in a relationship with my husband for 3 1/2 years and married for almost a year. He has been an alcholic for most of his life. I have been tolerated this since we met. At first we drank together. I truly didn't know he had such a deep problem. L...	RR	11	669	Mar 26, 2012 by I am lost
	New to this... (Preview) Where do I start? I feel so stupid, and naive, for believing that my husband was actually keeping his promise, that he had stopped drinking. He doesn't get fall down drunk, not at first. He begins slowly, sneaking (always sneaking, never in front of me or anybody else) a few beers- admittedly behin...	AlexisK	6	547	Mar 26, 2012 by pinkchip
	Anniversary meeting (Preview) I attended an anniversary meeting for the first time last night (not sure if these are common at all Al Anon groups?). We had 3 speakers, one from AA, one from Alateen, and one from Al Anon. It was a great meeting and really rejuvinated me. The AA speaker talked about how being drunk made her feel alive and...	usedtobeanyer	5	385	Mar 25, 2012 by Jerry F
	I Have a Crazy Life Inside My Head (Preview) I'm new here. There is one alcoholic and one recovered alcoholic in my mother's immediate family. I hardly have a story to tell about them because I totally and completely avoid them, and have since I was a little kid. But...it's like there's a second-hand effect. I ended up dating an alcoholic (4 year...	Alea	5	630	Mar 25, 2012 by Jerry F
	Feeling all Zen...and then... (Preview) ex A shows up to pick up 15 year old. Mild alcohol smell..leftover from last night? scares me bc my 9 year old was with him yesterday Feeling guilty that I didn't breathalzye him before letting him take my 15 year old... he has no job, no money, offers not one dime for child support.... he tells me he got a gr...	rehprof	6	656	Mar 24, 2012 by Jerry F
	My Management Team at Work are Classic Alcoholic Behaviors (Preview) I have to laugh so I don't cry. I've been at my current career for 6 years, promoted twice. I guess because I'd have to admit I'm an enabler here. Since I'm a single mom and my ex provides zero financial support for my kids, I do what I have to for a paycheck and am actively looking outside for a new job. I di...	AStrongerMe	5	616	Mar 24, 2012 by Michelle814
	drained after counseling session - need some strength (Preview) I like the message and guidance this program offers. I believe many would benefit from it even if they don't have alcohol in their lives. My spouse and I are also in counseling and the format and philosophy is so very different than what we learn in this program to the point that I feel conflicted. She r...	amills4294	7	729	Mar 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	Why now! (Preview) So, Ive been working my program and doing pretty well. I thought my ah was doing well too, until today. I left yesterday on a business trip. I get a text today from a woman I don't know explaining she went to school w my husband and that last night he sent her a text that only read "?", she says he pr...	surfgirl123	6	616	Mar 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	So Exhausted by All of This (Preview) I saw a tax lawyer today and will see my tax advisor tomorrow. I'm so exhausted by the huge mess I am in due to my AH's business mess. I can't fix it- it's out of my hands. I didn't cause it, yet I might lose everything I have worked hard for. This is not right. The anger that is inside me right now is all consumin...	Green Eyes	6	650	Mar 24, 2012 by Green Eyes
	Radical Acceptance (Preview) Since I truly gave up my life to my HP and started to live in reality, I have noticed a coorelation. Each time I have made a conscious choice to accept life on life's terms, something wonderful opens up for me. You might recall from past posts that I have been struggling with losing my in-laws. It's real...	Dolly Llama	8	716	Mar 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Burning again .. LOL! (Preview) AND this time no flipping over backwards on logs .. geeze!! No great pithanies of healing, and no need to analyze what I'm doing or not doing. I couldn't get the stupid mower started now I'm thinking I want one of those push button starters. I've never started a mower like this before so that will wait...	Pushka	10	604	Mar 24, 2012 by Pushka
	Working My Program (Preview) My life for the past 9 months has been in a word exhausting. I've been actively participating in Al-Anon for the past 5 months. I've learned, I've grown, I've most certainly appreciated this board and the program! A pattern had developed in my marriage. Something would come up about every 2 weeks and m...	Jackie11	6	452	Mar 24, 2012 by Michelle814
	just a quick little share. (Preview) I saw this on FB this morning and I liked it so I thought I would share with ya'll. "I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours and Gods. Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our business. When I think, You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on t...	daisy31	5	387	Mar 24, 2012 by Michelle814
	More on "Recovering" Spouses (Preview) There have been some posts on spouses/significant others who are sober, either working a program or not, and I thought Id chime in with my own issue. My AH and I separated last year after his drinking got out of control. After he, for lack of better term, lost his mind and got fired from his job, he entere...	nyc018	7	644	Mar 24, 2012 by Michelle814
	More changes .. (Preview) I have to give myself an atta girl because I have just sorted through 2 years of paperwork on the inside of my house. I have cleared out 4 large totes as well as numerous plastic shopping bags (more than 9) of paperwork, garbage you name it. It has taken me 7 days or so to get through it all .. I just kept doing...	Pushka	10	455	Mar 24, 2012 by Pushka
	Do you ever get overwhelmed? (Preview) Hey ya'll! I was wondering if getting overwhelmed easily was something that is common among people in the program. I remember my mother being EXTREMELY overwhelmed from things going on around her. She was very affected by alcohol in her growing up years but never really drank herself. Now bein...	daisy31	7	737	Mar 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Interview w/ Ashley Judd talking recovery (Preview) I was searching through old posts on this board and found this great interview someone posted awhile back. I thought I would post it again. It is really inspiring and it shows that ANYONE can be affected by this disease of alcoholism. I love how Ashley talks about recovery. http://www.bing.com...	daisy31	2	5039	Mar 24, 2012 by John
	When...how to move on (Preview) My divorce will be final in a number of weeks. I have lived on my own since July. And most recently I've filed felony theft charges on my husband. I didn't want any of this. It still isn't what I want. But I felt they were the only choices I had left. Now I don't know what to do. He still has this idea that we can m...	respect	6	596	Mar 24, 2012 by Jerry F
	taking a break (Preview) My A has recently been on a non stop binge. Even with all of my alanon superpowers I admit that it was starting to get to me. The good news - a friend of ours is out of the country for a few months. I asked him if I could use his house while he is gone. He gave me the keys before he left. So I am currently enjoying hav...	pineapple	9	514	Mar 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	real quick: it is almost time to go! (Preview) I can only make a short post as it is almost time to go! I am doing so well that I am not going to complain: not once today! God is so good to me & I am so grateful! I am even back to putting exclamation points at the end of my sentences!!!!!! *To those of you who don't know me, I have bipolar disorder & I am k...*	Hoot Nanny	1	359	Mar 24, 2012 by hotrod
	Guess who went on a date last weekend? (Preview) Yep that is right, ME. The guy was a perfect gentleman, took me bowling and to a nice dinner. He opened doors for me and paid for everything and looks forward to taking me out again, if I would allow it he said. I am thinking I am going to like this dating thing. I didn't feel like I owed him anything of myself (...	Breakingfree	7	459	Mar 24, 2012 by bud
	I think my husband is an alcoholic but I'm not sure (Preview) My husband drank a lot when we first got together. I didn't like it and since his mother is definitely an alcoholic, I told him I was concerned he would become an alcoholic too. Before we were married, he cut back his drinking to a couple of beers or glasses of wine a night and he has mostly kept to that for th...	Pris	5	2313	Mar 24, 2012 by kael1539
	Quick share- shut out by in laws (Preview) I thought my in laws and I were close. They called me their daughter. I opened up to them about my own family, who I do not have a relationship with. I really bonded with the children in the family as well. 2 weeks separated and none of them acknowledged my birthday. Not even a note on my stupid Facebook...	Dolly Llama	4	653	Mar 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Nice little gem on a magnet I saw today... (Preview) "If the grass is greener on the other side, it's time to water your grass." EXACTLY what I needed to see today. Thank you, HP, for sending me the message I needed for my own serenity and emotional health.	stephaniej	9	455	Mar 23, 2012 by pineapple
	Re-connecting with recovering spouse (Preview) Hi all, my wife is in recovery and things are going pretty well. We relate better to each other then we did a year or two ago, as we have both learned a lot about how to navigate through challenging times as a result of both of our programs. That being said, we are in no way connected on the level we once were. T...	usedtobeanyer	9	496	Mar 23, 2012 by sookie
	Wife...recovering alcoholic and BPD (Preview) Anyone married to a recovering alcohlic who also suffers from Borderline Personality disorder...or any other personality disorder (Bi-polar, Narcissistic Personality Disorder..they are similar). My wife is 8 months sober and was diagnosed with BPD in Nov. She is quite a handful. We have 3...	gojojo	7	2403	Mar 23, 2012 by Oksie
	home again (Preview) Hi.... previously on Oksie..... As many of you may remember, I have been away with work. My husband came with me and the location was his old city where he lived for 21 years and was a massive pot addict. He came with me to see his kids primarily and to catch up with friends. This means... .catch up wtih p...	Oksie	3	442	Mar 22, 2012 by Oksie
	Struggling with one day at a time/divorce (Preview) One Day at a Time...The Next Right Thing...etc. 2 weeks ago, my AH and I agreed to divorce. In 3 weeks, I face becoming homeless and am currently unemployed. Tomorrow is my 34th birthday. The grief and enormity of my situation hit me like a million pounds to the face last night. I am at peace with the e...	Dolly Llama	12	755	Mar 23, 2012 by orchidlover
	The Slow Death of a Marriage (Preview) My AH came by my office today (just drove to the curb- I didn't want to have him come into my office now that we are separated) to drop off some documents that I need in order to fight my way out of the IRS mess he has created. I asked him if he had paid the rent on our house (he has an arrangement with the mortgage...	Green Eyes	10	823	Mar 22, 2012 by respect
	I need help getting back my life...How to live with a dry angry drunk??? (Preview) My alcoholic husband gave up drinking about 8 years ago when it was my way or the highway for him. He stopped drinking cold turkey and without the support of a major group or program. At the time, I thought that was ok because we have two children (ages 6 and 8) and he is a good and loving father. I truly beli...	Hope999	20	765	Mar 22, 2012 by Hope999
	Unsure of what to do...newbie (Preview) Hello, I am a stay at home homeschooler with five children at home. Last year my husband underwent a massive heart attack and major heart surgery. His father died from alcoholism and addiction struggles have peppered our entire marriage. The heart attack has, for lack of a better term, heighten...	dianah	6	541	Mar 22, 2012 by abbyal
	Highly freaked out (Preview) My AS 22 yrs old drove the pickup down our mile and a half dirt road, it has snowed and the road is horrible, needless to say he wrecked it. My husband came unglued. I have never seen him so angry and our AS has done alot of things but i guess this was the topping on the cake. He told our son that he has 3 weeks to g...	debbiems	3	434	Mar 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Not sure if I am in the right place, but I will just start about my ABF (Preview) Hello, My first time here. I know the answer, I really do. I have seen so many posts on different sites about this. The answer is: I need to leave him behind, and focus on myself and my healing. He is (like they are) wonderful, handsome, charming beyond belief, talented. I have always felt that we had a &q...	WantBetterforAll	8	449	Mar 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Need help PLEASE (Preview) Where do I start....I have a 25 year old son. after 3 DUIs in only a couple of months I realized he was an alcoholic. Not that I am stupid...just NEVER saw him drink or drunk! He agreed to rehab, and spent a month in. Court is finished and he has lost his license for 7 years and on probation for 1 1/2 years with a...	brit	8	530	Mar 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Saying what I mean without being mean, but feeling mean (Preview) Hey everyone, so the calls started again tnite - this time they weren't as bad because from the beginning I said I didn't want to get into an argument because I knew he had been drinking. He didn't even try to defend himself and let me get off the phone without a hassel. I have been very good about setting bo...	Corgi2	8	575	Mar 22, 2012 by Corgi2
	Feel like crap (Preview) Am I allowed to say that in my thread title? I really am struggling with my emotions towards my AH. I get irritated at everything he says. I am totally on edge and I wonder if I love him anymore. It tears me apart to say that and I don't want it to be the end of our marriage but I am really struggling with wher...	ilovedogs	5	654	Mar 22, 2012 by pinkchip
	Help with experience of treatment centres (Preview) We had an appointment with a counsellor at a treatment centre today. Unfortunately the counsellor made it clear that if I could not stay for the screening he would not see my son. It is recommended on their website that a family member would be present, however, it was more than a recommendation today....	maire rua	4	406	Mar 22, 2012 by pinkchip
	Exhaustion due to Family Abuse (Preview) I have asked a bit about this topic before but will try to be more specific. I am an AAer for years now and just started going to ACA and Alanon. thru the steps thoroughly but can't sleep at night. I am oftentimes awake at 2 and 3 am and am absolutely exhausted all the time, bags under my eyes, full of fear, can...	WorkingThroughIt	14	695	Mar 22, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	How do I get connected to the MiRC chat thing? (Preview) I am having trouble figuring out how to be able to get into the chat rooms. I would like to be able to do meetings some and chat as well but I can't figure it out. Is there some steps (haha no pun intended ;) on how to do this? Thanks so much for your help.	daisy31	4	434	Mar 22, 2012 by lacewing
	Meetings (Preview) There seems to be a gap in meetings lately. Has anyone else noticed this? What is up? Is there a need for more moderators? If so, someone in the know...contact me. I have come here for Years with the exception of my down time treating and recovering from cancer. Am healthy now!:) In all ways. I us...	Grace7	1	354	Mar 22, 2012 by lacewing
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.