Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tigger · Tigger

I'm faking it to make it...right here, right now as I sit here writing this on my iphone! I look very detached and unengaged don't I...lol. I even look like I've got my own life to focus on and am focused on my own actibvities. I'm keeping a good healthy boundary of calm protection around me. Not focusing o...

Kicks611 · Kicks611

I am posting because I am absolutely beside myself in terms of what I should or can be doing, if anything, to help my father. I know this message/thread is kind of long - but if you have any time at all to read or reply, i'd appreciate more than you could possibly know. Ive posted here before and told my sto...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

The topic in my meeting last night was expectations. I heard a very powerful share from a member of the group, reminding me of the very important concept that expectations are just premeditated resentments. So true. He continued and shared how for him, how to get past expectations was to just trust th...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

So...today has been an OK day..I actually put Step 1 into practice last night before I went to bed and this morning I got the opportunity to use it again. I felt so much freer because I was able to do that. Then I realized something. In using Step 1, I am making myself vulnerable. Well, sort of anyway. I mea...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Seems I do good for awhile and then I sink back into the grief and pain. I am really struggling with my own reality tonight .. missing the addict again .. guess that's part of recovery .. this too shall pass .. the sadness and hurt but it does hurt .. the idea of him with someone new .. this new life .. our daug...

Brooke · Brooke

My husband said he wants a divorce 2 nights ago, out of his frustration with me and what hes had to put up with the last 22 years, and because he cant see it will change.He told me to take our 4yr old son and leave for the night.I did just that - but I also took our 12yr old son - there was no way I wasnt going to leav...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Yesterday,I allowed myself to get involved in the drama at my a/a's daughters house. But, only for a moment, thank God for sponsors. My sponsor pointed out she is using everything she knows to push my buttons. She suggested to not even listen to what is going on at her house and to say to whoever is bri...

sookie · sookie

Does anyone have any experiences with this idea? In other words, how you started getting better and it actually did help the A in your life. Sometimes, I get a glimpse of it in my relationship...but then it flutters away. My AH still plays the victim role a lot and I just don't fall for it anymore--and I am...

katfshh · katfshh

AF is spiriling out of control. Yesterday he told me he would go to detox today. This am, he had no intention. He left here on foot, asked me where his passport was first. He left walked to the store to buy booze, then came back for a quick second and left again. I know I shouldn't worry and I should detach, bu...

amills4294 · amills4294

Yes, I am a mom and for me that part of the day will be good. But as an ACoA of an A mom this is a very painful day for me. I know in many ways I played victim to her A'ness for a long time. I no longer feel victim but the pain and sadness is still there. Sometimes it's so overwhelming. I'll look at my daughter an...

Fina · Fina

Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 10, 2012~ GOOD DAYS BAD DAYS ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine.Ralph Waldo Emerson:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~Thank You, God, for a...

silent · silent

with my a/d b/f out of my life and now im all alone agin, makes it hard to except everything around me as far as allthe good ,positive,focusing on me,for im such a sick codependent,that im haveing these feelings of guilt like i dont deserve for life to be soo good to me ,im running myself to death trying to d...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I am trying to stay focused on the positive today since I it has been a day of many negative developments. Here's my list of positives: 1. My health has improved 2. My listening skills have improved greatly 3. I am choosing to take time to focus on my relationship with God and my faith 4. I sleep better a nig...

bettyboop · bettyboop

So over the weekend my ABF decided he was going to humiliate me infront of my oldest and dearest freinds...I took the opportunity to do some reading instead of get caught up n his craziness...Best thing I EVER did! I learned so much from what I read. Actions speak louder than words; Take care of me; Prote...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, I hope you are well. :) Three weeks ago my AH, while holding our toddler daughter, slammed me in a door several times, pushed me out the door, and locked me out of the house while he had her inside. I called the police, and filed a report. Apparently they were supposed to arrest him, and not e...

orchidlover · orchidlover

Yesterday I took a day for me because it was my birthday. In years past I lamented long and hard that the ex A did all kinds of cruel stuff on my birthday. He once took one of his friends out on my birthday! In years past the fact I wasn't deluged with cards, presents and more would have been a sign of my self...

katfshh · katfshh

My AF's ex wife who is on the East Coast started really getting worried about their son. I hadn't spoken to my AF the entire week he was gone, but she talked to him yesterday and he still hadn't found his son. She basically begged me to drive up to Venice Beach and help my AF find him. It was good that we did, we...

living for me · living for me

My husband and I have agreed to a ninety day trial separation. I have been gone since April 29th with my two small children. I requested that we only talk once a week at a pre-arranged time. I just don't need his insanity, whether it's in-person or over the phone. Nor do I want to deal with his manipulation...

willowtree · willowtree

I have noticed something about myself that I hope to change. When someone is talking in a setting of a few people, I seem to start daydreaming. I have noticed that other people in alanon (longtimers) seem to be really engaged with the people they are listening to. They even act interested and ask que...

Grace7 · Grace7

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pineapple · pineapple

Gee, I've been doing so good for so long-but today I had a temper tantrum. Things have been piling up the last few days (Both A and non-A related) and this afternoon I just had enough, the anger and frustration had to come out. I threw a flashlight (it wasn't working) on the ground, watched it break into pi...

Fina · Fina

One of the most difficult attitude problems any counselor faces is that of "entitlement". Entitlement is an attitude of "I'm owed." It is apparent in beliefs such as these:"I'm a college graduate, so I deserve a high-paying job.""I've been good to my friend...

amills4294 · amills4294

OK, I posted this on the adult children site as well. I'm an adult child of an A, my H is not an A but I struggle with the relationship a lot from my past as well as his behaviors too. So I"m posting here for any ESH as well. My H has been going through a new company takeover/employer at work. I know it i...

Ree · Ree

Hi. I'm new to this form of Al-Anon chatting. Couldn't figure out how to make the on-line meeting work (suggestions anyone?) and I need to be "around" recovering people right now. No drama happening, just old and contual feelings of insecurity, anxiety (about what??) and obsession with...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Well my AH fell off the wagon , and as usual flew into a rage. I told him I couldn't be witness to this again and I drove off. I had my emergency bag at the office and the day has come for me to use it. Please pray for my dog, I had to leave that moment and can't take her to a hotel. She is all I am worried about right no...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I finally had the chance to be with all of my grown daughters this past weekend and was able to tell them that I am divorcing their dad (my AH of 30 years). Our two daughters who don't have issues with alcohol took the news fairly well and were very supportive and concerned for both me and their dad. My AD was...

Fina · Fina

Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 9, 2012~ OPEN MINDEDNESS ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind ismore open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints ofothers, without being crippled by your own ju...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I was just posting about guilt right? I just got out of the shower and he has a dozen roses on the kitchen counter in vases for me! 6 red and 6 white. And, the first question in my mind is: how did he get said roses??? I'm assuming he drove to the grocery store! So, how do I respond? Gratitude for the ef...

dragonflys · dragonflys

So I told my husband that he had two choices, go to family counseling so we can figure out a way to help my son or he could leave. He was very upset. I didn't want to give any kind of ultimatum but I cannot continue living the way that we are. Obviously this is all my fault. Well mine and my sons as he has already d...

willowtree · willowtree

http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/05/08/dealing-alcoholic-denial-- Edited by willowtree on Wednesday 9th of...

sookie · sookie

Feeling weepy today. MY separated AH and I took our girls out of town for a vacation. I thought he had been sober for a few months, but then the day before we left--he was slurring his speech on the phone from work...and reeked the next day of alcohol. He just stared out the window in silence for most of the c...

willowtree · willowtree

I recently applied for a job with a company I am very passionate about. I didn't think I would get hired. I think it was exciting to think about working for them but I had no idea that it would actually happen. It is a work from home job part time, 4 hours a day. This transition from being a SAHM for the las...

Inawhirl · Inawhirl

Thank you. I'm new to these boards; they seem to be great. Thanks for the support you all show each other. 23yo AD made her amends to me today. She is nearly a month into the program and a month sober, though we certainly tried to get her in the program and off drugs/alcohol during HS. (DH took her to me...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just saying...if it ain't one thing it is another! My mother did not get in a car accident yesterday but some people think they need to let me know & it was actually not true. I am so frustrated w/ people in my small town. One guy who thought he heard on his scanner that my mom had been in this so-called ac...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I know a hot topic for sure. I grew up being molested and had a couple different predators. I went through counseling and did a workbook titled "wounded heart" or something like that a few years ago. As much as I feel like I have dealt with these issues I feel that my life will always be touched...

sickandtired · sickandtired

Hi everyone, I'm new here, and basically just trying to find the support of some people who understand. I don't think I'm really looking for answers, just wanting to rant and maybe some guidance from others who have been where I am. I apologize in advance for the length of this post. I am 19 years old a...

AlAnonMom68 · AlAnonMom68

I'm new here. I found this board by doing a Google search on "al anon for atheists." I am a full-on scientific believer, but NO GODS for me, please. Keep Thor, Yahweh, Jesus and all of 'em. The program worked really well for me when I first started going to meetings back in 2002/3. I went fo...

Tigger · Tigger

If God even exists I hate him right now. He has pushed me too far and given me too much to handle. And for what? So I can learn another stupid lesson and develop another strength, another tool? Ok fine...I totally get that, but why does it all have to be so difficult and usually involve some kind of sufferin...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Please send, thoughts, prayers, well wishes if you would. Today I am signing a lease and having my second interview. I have been posting and reading a lot with this move and have felt pretty stirred up with all the changes coming at me, but today I feel great and am embracing this new season of my life and I...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I believe that guilt is a huge component of what I am dealing with. I don't know if this is common for any of you all, but I have a lot of guilt that I throw on myself even though I know it's not rational, at all. For instance, AH has supposedly lost his license for the month of May. I told him that I won't driv...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

So, I just heard a song called A Little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans and in watching the video and listening to the song I realized something...I AM ALOT stronger than I was the first time I heard that song a couple years ago. I remember the first time I heard it I felt this profound sadness cause I was NOT at t...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

It wasn't a terrible day, but the last 3 Sunday's I have answered the phone knowing it will be my exAH wanting to come over and have breakfast with us, since he knows I make a big Sunday brunch for the girls and I. He knows we are moving in early June and so I have let him slip in and spend time with all of us befor...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

I was really nervous about how our trip to Vegas would go, but after reading some wonderful advice from friends on this board, I decided to just let go. As in - right! He might drink, so what if he does? I put together a small mental list of Plan Bs for myself, which also helped to calm me down before we left....

Aloha · Aloha

Over the last couple days, I've been presented with information that may affect me in one way or another. I can feel my old pre-recovery self deep down wanting to panic, make plans, ask more questions, make even more plans, and so on. The point of the matter is, these are situations I'm not 100% in contro...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

I messed up royally this weekend. I pretty much relapsed on my relationship and codependency this weekend. I was so strong and i gave up and gave into all the BS and lies. Basically this weekend, I was going to meet with my ex for the 1st time in 5 months to clear the air and see him in person. Friday night we w...

katfshh · katfshh

Help me avoid running to the rescue. My AF called his ex wife this morning, he can't find his son hasn't seen him since Saturday, and now he is wandering around Venice Beach, Drunk, looking for him. Neither of them have a car there, they went there by bus and train. His son is recently diagnosed with Schiz...

LeahC · LeahC

Hello, I am new here but have been reading the posts on this site for a while now just haven't felt brave enough to make a comment yet. Don't even know where to start... I'm living with my alcoholic boyfriend for 2 and a half years now with our 2 year old daughter. I am unemployed and financially dependent o...

lacewing · lacewing

Hello Everyone! I am unable to Chair my regularly scheduled Monday Night Al-Anon Meeting tonight, and apologize for such a late notice. Today is my Daughter's Birthday and I finally got her to commit to going out to dinner as a small celebration for keeping her alive for 22 years and her not killing me...

katfshh · katfshh

I can't go to a f2f today. I know I need it badly. My daughter has my car. I am being obsessive right now. AF and I are on the same cell phone plan. I have the family locator on the plan, so I can locate him as well. I have been sitting in front of the computer watching everywhere he goes. He hasn't been home since...

Grace7 · Grace7

I have heard of and see so many people who visit and use the boards. It is wonderful to have this, isn't it?! A Huge Thanks to John who started this and to ALL who contribute their service and their Experience, Strength & Hope (ESH)! I at one time moved from Metropolitan to Rural..so very rural! T...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Had court with my ex on Friday, followed by my mom's memorial service on Saturday. It was an exhausting weekend. The service was very nice; many people got up and spoke about my mother. Honestly, I only ever knew a mom who struggled mightily with severe depression and a host of other issues. But one...

HAguirre · HAguirre

My husband is 11 months sober isn't working the program and hasn't worked on mending the relationships with me his wife or kids I don't know what to do.

hotrod · hotrod

Hi MIP Family Five years ago tonight, my son Stephen, who had over 12 years of sobriety, died from this horrific disease. Stephen relapsed and for 2 years and was in and out of rehabs. I still miss him every moment of every day. Please say a small prayer. Thanks

nyc018 · nyc018

I realize that the relationship with my mother is probably toxic. My mother is not the A in my life my husband is. We are separated but he still sees me and our son on weekends. After a terrible downfall resulting in the loss of his job last summer, he is 8 months sober, working a good program in AA, and fro...

Grace7 · Grace7

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ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH was very distant from me in many ways for the past few weeks. We were drifting apart and I was feeling negative vibes from him all that time. His dad died last week and all of a sudden he seems NORMAL. And, I mean, NORMAL! It's like he did a 180. We were back east for his dad's services and funeral an...

littlehawk · littlehawk

I needed to have this discussion with people other than myinner circle and other than my alcoholic. Thanks for being here and reading. First, I would like to state that I am feeling quite angsty right now. Instead of trying to make my alcoholic, aka "E", feel responsible, my rational mind k...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I am feeling very uneasy and am looking for ESH. I have been with my husband for 12 years. He was smoking pot when I met him. After 10 years of his pot smoking daily, his yelling and put downs, I told him he needed to leave. He chose rehab. 24 days inpatient treatment and 4 weeks in a SLE, he came home. That...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

After 20 years of marriage, I've come to the conclusion that it's time to make a plan to serarate from my AH. My health is bad and stress is the worst thing for my condition (lupus) and my AH has a habit of coming home late when he's drunk and he's always in some emotional state. He's either overly happy and e...

Iamgood · Iamgood

I will try to speak with my sponsor about this later today. I am feeling shame because I have worked the steps through 8 & 9, and not find myself totally confused and angry and scared in a situation. Did I not work the steps well enough? My boyfriend is a recovering Alcoholic, 20+ years of sobriety. ...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Faking it to make it (Preview) I'm faking it to make it...right here, right now as I sit here writing this on my iphone! I look very detached and unengaged don't I...lol. I even look like I've got my own life to focus on and am focused on my own actibvities. I'm keeping a good healthy boundary of calm protection around me. Not focusing o...	Tigger	13	682	May 12, 2012 by Jennifer
	Please help - Father is a severe alcoholic, close to death (Preview) I am posting because I am absolutely beside myself in terms of what I should or can be doing, if anything, to help my father. I know this message/thread is kind of long - but if you have any time at all to read or reply, i'd appreciate more than you could possibly know. Ive posted here before and told my sto...	Kicks611	10	766	May 12, 2012 by Debilyn
	Everything is going to be alright (Preview) The topic in my meeting last night was expectations. I heard a very powerful share from a member of the group, reminding me of the very important concept that expectations are just premeditated resentments. So true. He continued and shared how for him, how to get past expectations was to just trust th...	usedtobeanyer	6	672	May 12, 2012 by Jerry F
	I was gonna blog but I didn't want to talk to myself LOL (Preview) So...today has been an OK day..I actually put Step 1 into practice last night before I went to bed and this morning I got the opportunity to use it again. I felt so much freer because I was able to do that. Then I realized something. In using Step 1, I am making myself vulnerable. Well, sort of anyway. I mea...	seekingserenity	1	391	May 11, 2012 by Oksie
	Hurting again (Preview) Seems I do good for awhile and then I sink back into the grief and pain. I am really struggling with my own reality tonight .. missing the addict again .. guess that's part of recovery .. this too shall pass .. the sadness and hurt but it does hurt .. the idea of him with someone new .. this new life .. our daug...	MeTwo2	10	591	May 11, 2012 by MeTwo2
	He threatened divorce, I dont know what to do next... (Preview) My husband said he wants a divorce 2 nights ago, out of his frustration with me and what hes had to put up with the last 22 years, and because he cant see it will change.He told me to take our 4yr old son and leave for the night.I did just that - but I also took our 12yr old son - there was no way I wasnt going to leav...	Brooke	18	828	May 11, 2012 by sweeetr
	Drama! Drama! (Preview) Yesterday,I allowed myself to get involved in the drama at my a/a's daughters house. But, only for a moment, thank God for sponsors. My sponsor pointed out she is using everything she knows to push my buttons. She suggested to not even listen to what is going on at her house and to say to whoever is bri...	Highlyfavored	5	501	May 11, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	Changed attitudes aid in the alcoholic's recovery (Preview) Does anyone have any experiences with this idea? In other words, how you started getting better and it actually did help the A in your life. Sometimes, I get a glimpse of it in my relationship...but then it flutters away. My AH still plays the victim role a lot and I just don't fall for it anymore--and I am...	sookie	12	932	May 11, 2012 by sookie
	It's hard not to worry.. (Preview) AF is spiriling out of control. Yesterday he told me he would go to detox today. This am, he had no intention. He left here on foot, asked me where his passport was first. He left walked to the store to buy booze, then came back for a quick second and left again. I know I shouldn't worry and I should detach, bu...	katfshh	3	460	May 11, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Mother's Day - not a Hallmark Greeting card day for me (Preview) Yes, I am a mom and for me that part of the day will be good. But as an ACoA of an A mom this is a very painful day for me. I know in many ways I played victim to her A'ness for a long time. I no longer feel victim but the pain and sadness is still there. Sometimes it's so overwhelming. I'll look at my daughter an...	amills4294	4	702	May 11, 2012 by Breakingfree
	GOOD DAYS AND BAD DAYS AND SHADOWS (Preview) Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 10, 2012~ GOOD DAYS BAD DAYS ~:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine.Ralph Waldo Emerson:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~Thank You, God, for a...	Fina	1	399	May 11, 2012 by Breakingfree
	hard to except feelings of self worth (Preview) with my a/d b/f out of my life and now im all alone agin, makes it hard to except everything around me as far as allthe good ,positive,focusing on me,for im such a sick codependent,that im haveing these feelings of guilt like i dont deserve for life to be soo good to me ,im running myself to death trying to d...	silent	6	518	May 11, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Positive Changes Since Joining Al-Anon (Preview) I am trying to stay focused on the positive today since I it has been a day of many negative developments. Here's my list of positives: 1. My health has improved 2. My listening skills have improved greatly 3. I am choosing to take time to focus on my relationship with God and my faith 4. I sleep better a nig...	Green Eyes	7	520	May 11, 2012 by pineapple
	HUGE step forward and so PROUD of myself!!!! (Preview) So over the weekend my ABF decided he was going to humiliate me infront of my oldest and dearest freinds...I took the opportunity to do some reading instead of get caught up n his craziness...Best thing I EVER did! I learned so much from what I read. Actions speak louder than words; Take care of me; Prote...	bettyboop	12	638	May 11, 2012 by Brooke
	Check in - has been a while (Preview) Hi Everyone, I hope you are well. :) Three weeks ago my AH, while holding our toddler daughter, slammed me in a door several times, pushed me out the door, and locked me out of the house while he had her inside. I called the police, and filed a report. Apparently they were supposed to arrest him, and not e...	KLotus	11	564	May 10, 2012 by Oksie
	What's good enough (Preview) Yesterday I took a day for me because it was my birthday. In years past I lamented long and hard that the ex A did all kinds of cruel stuff on my birthday. He once took one of his friends out on my birthday! In years past the fact I wasn't deluged with cards, presents and more would have been a sign of my self...	orchidlover	5	438	May 10, 2012 by orchidlover
	Trying not to get in my car-update (Preview) My AF's ex wife who is on the East Coast started really getting worried about their son. I hadn't spoken to my AF the entire week he was gone, but she talked to him yesterday and he still hadn't found his son. She basically begged me to drive up to Venice Beach and help my AF find him. It was good that we did, we...	katfshh	9	635	May 10, 2012 by orchidlover
	Separated (Preview) My husband and I have agreed to a ninety day trial separation. I have been gone since April 29th with my two small children. I requested that we only talk once a week at a pre-arranged time. I just don't need his insanity, whether it's in-person or over the phone. Nor do I want to deal with his manipulation...	living for me	7	586	May 10, 2012 by Pushka
	I'm a daydreamer (Preview) I have noticed something about myself that I hope to change. When someone is talking in a setting of a few people, I seem to start daydreaming. I have noticed that other people in alanon (longtimers) seem to be really engaged with the people they are listening to. They even act interested and ask que...	willowtree	3	354	May 10, 2012 by orchidlover
	Sign Up to Faciltate a Weekend Meeting .... Schedule Below Thank YOU for Your Service and Care Here! (Preview) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------	Grace7	3	411	May 10, 2012 by Fina
	starting over (Preview) Gee, I've been doing so good for so long-but today I had a temper tantrum. Things have been piling up the last few days (Both A and non-A related) and this afternoon I just had enough, the anger and frustration had to come out. I threw a flashlight (it wasn't working) on the ground, watched it break into pi...	pineapple	5	476	May 10, 2012 by amills4294
	Feeling Entitled? (Preview) One of the most difficult attitude problems any counselor faces is that of "*entitlement*". Entitlement is an attitude of "I'm owed." It is apparent in beliefs such as these:"I'm a college graduate, so I deserve a high-paying job.""I've been good to my friend...	Fina	0	713	May 10, 2012 by Fina
	struggling a bit with others today (actually struggling with my own behavior) (Preview) OK, I posted this on the adult children site as well. I'm an adult child of an A, my H is not an A but I struggle with the relationship a lot from my past as well as his behaviors too. So I"m posting here for any ESH as well. My H has been going through a new company takeover/employer at work. I know it i...	amills4294	3	584	May 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Need a meeting (Preview) Hi. I'm new to this form of Al-Anon chatting. Couldn't figure out how to make the on-line meeting work (suggestions anyone?) and I need to be "around" recovering people right now. No drama happening, just old and contual feelings of insecurity, anxiety (about what??) and obsession with...	Ree	2	311	May 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I Did It (Preview) Well my AH fell off the wagon , and as usual flew into a rage. I told him I couldn't be witness to this again and I drove off. I had my emergency bag at the office and the day has come for me to use it. Please pray for my dog, I had to leave that moment and can't take her to a hotel. She is all I am worried about right no...	surfgirl123	13	666	May 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Update (Preview) I finally had the chance to be with all of my grown daughters this past weekend and was able to tell them that I am divorcing their dad (my AH of 30 years). Our two daughters who don't have issues with alcohol took the news fairly well and were very supportive and concerned for both me and their dad. My AD was...	Green Eyes	5	474	May 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Open Mindedness (Preview) *Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 9, 2012~ OPEN MINDEDNESS ~:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind ismore open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints ofothers, without being crippled by your own ju...**	Fina	0	480	May 9, 2012 by Fina
	UGH!!!!! Now what? (Preview) So, I was just posting about guilt right? I just got out of the shower and he has a dozen roses on the kitchen counter in vases for me! 6 red and 6 white. And, the first question in my mind is: how did he get said roses??? I'm assuming he drove to the grocery store! So, how do I respond? Gratitude for the ef...	ilovedogs	15	675	May 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	Its all my Fault (Preview) So I told my husband that he had two choices, go to family counseling so we can figure out a way to help my son or he could leave. He was very upset. I didn't want to give any kind of ultimatum but I cannot continue living the way that we are. Obviously this is all my fault. Well mine and my sons as he has already d...	dragonflys	5	611	May 9, 2012 by dragonflys
	Video by DrDrew"Are you dealing with an alcoholic" (Preview) http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/05/08/dealing-alcoholic-denial-- Edited by willowtree on Wednesday 9th of...	willowtree	2	538	May 9, 2012 by Aloha
	Still in denial... (Preview) Feeling weepy today. MY separated AH and I took our girls out of town for a vacation. I thought he had been sober for a few months, but then the day before we left--he was slurring his speech on the phone from work...and reeked the next day of alcohol. He just stared out the window in silence for most of the c...	sookie	5	600	May 9, 2012 by sookie
	Wondering if I am I trying to sabatoge myself again? (Preview) I recently applied for a job with a company I am very passionate about. I didn't think I would get hired. I think it was exciting to think about working for them but I had no idea that it would actually happen. It is a work from home job part time, 4 hours a day. This transition from being a SAHM for the las...	willowtree	6	568	May 9, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Amends (Preview) Thank you. I'm new to these boards; they seem to be great. Thanks for the support you all show each other. 23yo AD made her amends to me today. She is nearly a month into the program and a month sober, though we certainly tried to get her in the program and off drugs/alcohol during HS. (DH took her to me...	Inawhirl	5	490	May 9, 2012 by Inawhirl
	if it ain't one thing... (Preview) Just saying...if it ain't one thing it is another! My mother did not get in a car accident yesterday but some people think they need to let me know & it was actually not true. I am so frustrated w/ people in my small town. One guy who thought he heard on his scanner that my mom had been in this so-called ac...	Hoot Nanny	0	349	May 8, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Sexual dysfunctions (Preview) I know a hot topic for sure. I grew up being molested and had a couple different predators. I went through counseling and did a workbook titled "wounded heart" or something like that a few years ago. As much as I feel like I have dealt with these issues I feel that my life will always be touched...	Breakingfree	7	563	May 9, 2012 by Oksie
	Newbie - Need to Rant (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new here, and basically just trying to find the support of some people who understand. I don't think I'm really looking for answers, just wanting to rant and maybe some guidance from others who have been where I am. I apologize in advance for the length of this post. I am 19 years old a...	sickandtired	4	591	May 9, 2012 by Debilyn
	hello from an Atheist who needs the program but not the G.O.D. (Preview) I'm new here. I found this board by doing a Google search on "al anon for atheists." I am a full-on scientific believer, but NO GODS for me, please. Keep Thor, Yahweh, Jesus and all of 'em. The program worked really well for me when I first started going to meetings back in 2002/3. I went fo...	AlAnonMom68	16	752	May 9, 2012 by likemyheart
	I HATE GOD (Preview) If God even exists I hate him right now. He has pushed me too far and given me too much to handle. And for what? So I can learn another stupid lesson and develop another strength, another tool? Ok fine...I totally get that, but why does it all have to be so difficult and usually involve some kind of sufferin...	Tigger	13	899	May 9, 2012 by Inawhirl
	Second trip to the big city (Preview) Please send, thoughts, prayers, well wishes if you would. Today I am signing a lease and having my second interview. I have been posting and reading a lot with this move and have felt pretty stirred up with all the changes coming at me, but today I feel great and am embracing this new season of my life and I...	Breakingfree	6	405	May 9, 2012 by Green Eyes
	GUILT (Preview) I believe that guilt is a huge component of what I am dealing with. I don't know if this is common for any of you all, but I have a lot of guilt that I throw on myself even though I know it's not rational, at all. For instance, AH has supposedly lost his license for the month of May. I told him that I won't driv...	ilovedogs	9	724	May 9, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Good Feeling (Preview) So, I just heard a song called A Little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans and in watching the video and listening to the song I realized something...I AM ALOT stronger than I was the first time I heard that song a couple years ago. I remember the first time I heard it I felt this profound sadness cause I was NOT at t...	seekingserenity	7	477	May 8, 2012 by orchidlover
	Sunday not so fun day (Preview) It wasn't a terrible day, but the last 3 Sunday's I have answered the phone knowing it will be my exAH wanting to come over and have breakfast with us, since he knows I make a big Sunday brunch for the girls and I. He knows we are moving in early June and so I have let him slip in and spend time with all of us befor...	Breakingfree	6	583	May 8, 2012 by orchidlover
	Update, post-Vegas... (Preview) I was really nervous about how our trip to Vegas would go, but after reading some wonderful advice from friends on this board, I decided to just let go. As in - right! He might drink, so what if he does? I put together a small mental list of Plan Bs for myself, which also helped to calm me down before we left....	ladysoblue	5	479	May 8, 2012 by orchidlover
	Trust trust trust... (Preview) Over the last couple days, I've been presented with information that may affect me in one way or another. I can feel my old pre-recovery self deep down wanting to panic, make plans, ask more questions, make even more plans, and so on. The point of the matter is, these are situations I'm not 100% in contro...	Aloha	5	598	May 8, 2012 by KLotus
	I fell right into his trap! (Preview) I messed up royally this weekend. I pretty much relapsed on my relationship and codependency this weekend. I was so strong and i gave up and gave into all the BS and lies. Basically this weekend, I was going to meet with my ex for the 1st time in 5 months to clear the air and see him in person. Friday night we w...	Julie3310	11	801	May 8, 2012 by pinkchip
	Trying not to get in my car! (Preview) Help me avoid running to the rescue. My AF called his ex wife this morning, he can't find his son hasn't seen him since Saturday, and now he is wandering around Venice Beach, Drunk, looking for him. Neither of them have a car there, they went there by bus and train. His son is recently diagnosed with Schiz...	katfshh	8	671	May 8, 2012 by pinkchip
	Alot of pain (Preview) Hello, I am new here but have been reading the posts on this site for a while now just haven't felt brave enough to make a comment yet. Don't even know where to start... I'm living with my alcoholic boyfriend for 2 and a half years now with our 2 year old daughter. I am unemployed and financially dependent o...	LeahC	4	576	May 8, 2012 by LeahC
	Monday Night Al-Anon Meeting @9:00PM (Preview) Hello Everyone! I am unable to Chair my regularly scheduled Monday Night Al-Anon Meeting tonight, and apologize for such a late notice. Today is my Daughter's Birthday and I finally got her to commit to going out to dinner as a small celebration for keeping her alive for 22 years and her not killing me...	lacewing	1	294	May 8, 2012 by Grace7
	Being Crazy. (Preview) I can't go to a f2f today. I know I need it badly. My daughter has my car. I am being obsessive right now. AF and I are on the same cell phone plan. I have the family locator on the plan, so I can locate him as well. I have been sitting in front of the computer watching everywhere he goes. He hasn't been home since...	katfshh	7	598	May 8, 2012 by katfshh
	Option: On Line Meetings! (Preview) I have heard of and see so many people who visit and use the boards. It is wonderful to have this, isn't it?! A Huge Thanks to John who started this and to ALL who contribute their service and their Experience, Strength & Hope (ESH)! I at one time moved from Metropolitan to Rural..so very rural! T...	Grace7	0	430	May 7, 2012 by Grace7
	Made it through the memorial service (Preview) Had court with my ex on Friday, followed by my mom's memorial service on Saturday. It was an exhausting weekend. The service was very nice; many people got up and spoke about my mother. Honestly, I only ever knew a mom who struggled mightily with severe depression and a host of other issues. But one...	stephaniej	6	377	May 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	why (Preview) My husband is 11 months sober isn't working the program and hasn't worked on mending the relationships with me his wife or kids I don't know what to do.	HAguirre	8	541	May 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	My Son RIP (Preview) Hi MIP Family Five years ago tonight, my son Stephen, who had over 12 years of sobriety, died from this horrific disease. Stephen relapsed and for 2 years and was in and out of rehabs. I still miss him every moment of every day. Please say a small prayer. Thanks	hotrod	23	717	May 7, 2012 by Ness
	Toxic Relationship (Preview) I realize that the relationship with my mother is probably toxic. My mother is not the A in my life my husband is. We are separated but he still sees me and our son on weekends. After a terrible downfall resulting in the loss of his job last summer, he is 8 months sober, working a good program in AA, and fro...	nyc018	7	900	May 7, 2012 by nyc018
	Weekend Alanon Meeting Facilitators Needed UNTIL Regular OPS are obtained (Preview) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------	Grace7	1	348	May 7, 2012 by Fina
	A sudden change? (Preview) My AH was very distant from me in many ways for the past few weeks. We were drifting apart and I was feeling negative vibes from him all that time. His dad died last week and all of a sudden he seems NORMAL. And, I mean, NORMAL! It's like he did a 180. We were back east for his dad's services and funeral an...	ilovedogs	4	660	May 7, 2012 by orchidlover
	Expectations and newbie angst. Expectations (Preview) I needed to have this discussion with people other than myinner circle and other than my alcoholic. Thanks for being here and reading. First, I would like to state that I am feeling quite angsty right now. Instead of trying to make my alcoholic, aka "E", feel responsible, my rational mind k...	littlehawk	7	650	May 7, 2012 by orchidlover
	My home feels awkward (Preview) I am feeling very uneasy and am looking for ESH. I have been with my husband for 12 years. He was smoking pot when I met him. After 10 years of his pot smoking daily, his yelling and put downs, I told him he needed to leave. He chose rehab. 24 days inpatient treatment and 4 weeks in a SLE, he came home. That...	dragonflys	7	595	May 7, 2012 by orchidlover
	Time to make a plan... (Preview) After 20 years of marriage, I've come to the conclusion that it's time to make a plan to serarate from my AH. My health is bad and stress is the worst thing for my condition (lupus) and my AH has a habit of coming home late when he's drunk and he's always in some emotional state. He's either overly happy and e...	TryingToChange	4	538	May 7, 2012 by orchidlover
	Boundaries? Anger, resentment, fear, confusion (Preview) I will try to speak with my sponsor about this later today. I am feeling shame because I have worked the steps through 8 & 9, and not find myself totally confused and angry and scared in a situation. Did I not work the steps well enough? My boyfriend is a recovering Alcoholic, 20+ years of sobriety. ...	Iamgood	8	867	May 7, 2012 by orchidlover
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.