Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lnc12 · lnc12

Hello everyone! I've been reading through the forum for about a month now, but I've been too afraid to start a topic of my own. I'm doing it now, because I am almost at my wits' end. I'm 23 and my husband is 25. We have been together for going on 7 years, and married for almost 2. I knew he drank a lot when we we...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

In our ODAT reading for today it talks about changing the environment and the A desiring sobriety as a result. I kind of think that's the situation but there is that whole giant leap of him wanting to be sober and actually being able to make it happen. I'm really good at the detachment factor. However, I d...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

BF is sober again now 17 days since his relapse. He found a place to live and will be moving in on the 1st. He was homeless a bit but once he got back into his meetings, had resolved his living situation and accepted my boundaries, he can stay here temporarily. Moving in is not an option... I only allowe...

tortuga · tortuga

Things came to an end with my ABF, I cut the cords. Not that the biggest work has been done, the hardest is yet to come, because as I triggered his awareness, well he triggered mine. So now I face my own addiction, the addiction to this realtionship, the addiction to be needed, the addiction to care more fo...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi I will be out of town for over a week and have posted the 7th Tradition to the Step Work Board Join us and share your thoughtshttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t50177844/alanon-tradition-7/

Pushka · Pushka

I heard this statement recently and loved it .. I was pre-qualified for alanon and boy is there a lot of truth to that!! Last night I went to a wonderful meeting in town and it was nice to know that all I had to do was change location not my schedule. I would have been at a meeting during that time on a Tuesday...

Jozie · Jozie

Have you ever had those Moments where Your Spirt Contracts, & retracts to the Point of a Roller Coaster... For Example... I resently returned from Vacation, and I had an Amazing Time, However there where Moments when I would Feel Over the Moon, and Feel HP Standing Right There, Present, and then O...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Only one thing to really complain about & it really isn't a complaint. Sometimes when it rains it pours but I am still optimistic. My husband had a crack in his denturs & then lost a tooth on his top plate. Ouch! So, on Weds. we went to a denturist 60 miles away of course--we live in a small town so th...

Minaret · Minaret

Hi All, I'm so glad this is here for me. I am a wreck this morning. After 7 years of marriage, we are still in the same place. AH still drinks, but at least it was getting better for a while--not as drunk, or not as often. I could sort of manage that. I was also trying my best not to hide his beer, con...

Inawhirl · Inawhirl

I suppose this is as much a vent as anything. AD (23 yo) has been in the program and sober for over 3 months after a DUI - her second. I'm so glad she's doing it. Better to do it at this age than later, etc. She is having difficulties dealing with the idea of jail, won't apply for jobs with the pending court a...

Wanderer · Wanderer

This is just a bit of a vent... Before I got married and had kids, I kind of expected that those things would change my life. I would have to make compromises, sacrifices even, and that it would be a lot of work. But that it would all be worth it. The joy of having a husband and children would balance out the wo...

Oksie · Oksie

NOt that I went anywhere. I just feel like I have been living under a rock or a cloud for the past fortnight. My husband came back from his brothers funeral early hours of this morning. I was so scared this would trigger a full on relapse for my husband. I thought I will put my husband on the plane but pick...

tortuga · tortuga

I'd like to share this thought with you. Wishing all of us a beautifal day and dream

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I just read on the step work board for 4, awesome, amazing shares!!! I've been attending my meeting since October, on this board since October. I got a sponsor in February. Started working the steps, up to 4. Where I've been since March. Not that I haven't been working on me, I have been. We all come into t...

imom · imom

My AH has been doing pretty good in his recovery, although he refuses to be in a program. Today I suspect he "snuck" a drink and I know I should not waste my energy thinking about it. My question is this, should I just ignore it or make a comment about it? In the past, I have made a quick commen...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, an old timer in one of my meetings told me she is going to the world convention in Vancouver 5-7 July13. I live in england and it would be very expensive for me to go but if i start saving just a bit now you never know. I love america and and some other members have said they are staying o for a bit of a hol...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Does it bother anyone out there when people share more than once in a meeting? Here I am sharing a few minutes after I quit! I hope you all don't find me stale & boring & repeating myself. I am known for sharing way too much & getting off topic. The ODAT helps me stay on topic sometimes but even o...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I grew up in a family where there was tremendous dysfunction, chaos and madness. The intoxicating stew that was there that bonded all of us were intensity, intense demands then completely being ignored and always having my needs, concerns and goals minimized. If I get myself in a similar situation t...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I'm so frustrated. Mad at my A and mad at myself. I mentioned in a prior post that I had suspicions that my A was abusing his Adderall. I found some empty capsules in his pockets. (doing laundry, not snooping) I had been told that he takes them at work and in the morning. When I found them it happened to b...

Neesabean · Neesabean

I'm starting down this path...... I have gone down this path before and only go so far, why? I do not know. Maybe because it's overwhelming? I need to sort it out. I went to the bookstore today.....it was overwhelming. I had intentions to buy Getting them Sober and The Language of Letting Go. Neit...

katfshh · katfshh

Well, since I didn't answer him two days ago, his not so sweet side came out. I think he is still trying to control me. I can tell he is annoyed with my silence. I wound up blocking him from sending me a message on Facebook. I won't delete my account, because I have so many relatives on there that live in Ohio a...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So..as I read my ala lit and read posts im more and more aware that my biggest struggle is "mommy guilt". Im struggling as a wife and a mom to reconcile this alcoholic chaos that we live...tht I brought a child into...how unfair...and its THAT that tears me apart. My ah is a functioning alc......

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I know it is only Tuesday but I am having a good week & hoping for even better. I know it is a one day at a time program, but I am very hopeful for the future! You alll are part of my future & I couldn't be more grateful for all of you & the support you give me. I have been blessed beyond words & the...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I was never the sneaky check up on my man kind of person. It just never occured to me that people would lie to me, cheat me out of my peace and self worth, or steal my serenity. I was very naive and I still am, to some degree, LOL. Anyway, along with all the normal codependent crazy stuff I did like looki...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Hi everyone. It's been almost a year since I've been on the board. So many things have changed and unfortunately, I'm in a lost place again. I know I should have continued talking and helping others and I feel pretty selfish only showing up when I'm in turmoil again. When I was last on, my A was just ab...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Im so damn tired. Exhusted really. In my ah came at 300. Been out all night. Ive been trying to sleep since midnight. Really...praying, putting it I Gods hands ...but not really sble to sleep. At 300 I went out to kitch in time to see him just walking through the door...i broke every rule and calmly said, w...

amills4294 · amills4294

I feel like a bad person right now but I'm very unhappy with my FOO. I know I've mentioned that my mother is a an alcoholic and I also have a serverly Bi-Polar older brother. I personally believe his illness is much more than bi-polar because I 've known other people with this disease that manage it quit...

silent · silent

i need help with separateing the person from the desease,im a very slow learner ,i find myself counting my a b/f beers at night after he gets in to see how much he is drinking and even how many ounces each beer is i guesss im scared he will over drink and chaos will begin.im not likeing this sit. but now im fee...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

This message board is like a "treasure box." As one puruses through new and not-so new posts and replies, one can find "jewels" that seem to be created just for her or him. Here's a jewel I found this morning as I was looking through posts written by a longtime MIP member who goes b...

gyzer02 · gyzer02

My AW has gotten a sponsor and has been working the program as of late. I said to her that it appeared she was drinking. That produced a furious response of denial. The pattern is to get a 1/2 pint every day in the morning that is consumed between 11 and 3. She will go to a meeting and on the way home get a bot...

justme777 · justme777

I met my husband 5 years ago we have been married for about 3. He was always a social drinker but after a bout with cancer he has started to drink about a 6 pack every day at least. I am a therapist and know about alcoholism but it is hard to deal with it in my own life. I am going to a meeting tonight. I know I need s...

Dazzy · Dazzy

I am new here and this is my first post though I have been reading posts for quite some time. I guess I should start with some background info. I met my husband 4 years ago. He is a wonderfully bright and creative individual and the love of my life. Unfortunately he has a drinking problem. His father was a...

KLotus · KLotus

Thank God for my Monday meeting! I can hardly wait to go at noon. My husband and I have been "separated" for 3 months, only now talking for the last month. Initially I asked him to leave after a back argument, which resulted in me calling the police. We have been slowly working toward worki...

dragonflys · dragonflys

My AH moved 2 states away and tells me today that he got an offer to move in with a friend that is in our state, 2 hours away. He called me so I talked to him on the phone, and was quiet for most of the conversation. When I finally decided to set my boundaries and let him know that I was not interested in working...

Aloha · Aloha

I'm getting squirrley today... a bit loco. Left a message with my sponsor, first, though. I try to make it my practice if I'm getting really off-balance to make calling her the first step in returning myself to some measure of sanity. Since she's not available, however, I figure I'll just pop on here...

katfshh · katfshh

OK, I knew this was just around the corner, and this morning it happened. His message sounded sober. The friend he is staying with is 13 years sober, and told him he cannot stay there if he is drinking. I would think that he stopped in order to live there. First he "liked" a picture on my faceboo...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

and in this year I have become much healthier and happier within myself. I am setting goals and trying to achieve them and am not living in crisis mode or in a victim role any longer. It is sad to see my exAH still stuck in the same spot as when I moved out 2 years ago, but he could be working a program if he so cho...

Pushka · Pushka

I've thought about about this one a LOT lately. Don't indulge in binge thinking. I posted this on another board however wanted to share here as well :)

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Having a birthday sure makes you realize that you are loved! I can attest to that for sure. Birthday party this morning & more plans for later today. I am so grateful for all my friendships! Went to the campout/BBQ on Sat. It worked out great hanging out w/ a bunch of alcoholics. I even was the only Ala...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

This weekend is a rough one .. Surrounded by siblings and family members while we work on a move from one house to another .. When I'm in recovery with others, it's such a great feeling of serenity and unity .. There is no division .. Things are better than they used to be with my siblings .. Recognizing no...

Pushka · Pushka

I have been around just not posting .. lol .. it's been crazy stuff. Right now I'm back in San Diego with the kids, we will be here for a couple of weeks. I have no idea what I will be coming home to .. at this point i can't worry about it. It's going to be there when I get back .. oh the joys of it all. Today thou...

Wantoutdone · Wantoutdone

I'm attending a few live meetings, but honestly Idont think I cant wait 6 months . Ive been married only 1 year, separated 7 months. If I knew what I know now, I would never have married this person. I have never been around alcoholics. I had heard my minister to be husband had been in rehab, but I was ma...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so grateful for good honest people. I left my phone in the parking lot of a movie theater yesterday & found on the roof of my car. It must have been sitting there for over 3 hrs.!

Katy · Katy

Mine starts in my head while I am asleep it wakes me up, and I come down stairs pop on the kettle and read alanon, I read my stars too but onlt take notice of the bits I like, just like today I started off optimistic no real worries I count my blessings hug my daughter, show my husband some real affcetion and th...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Well, it's not really true silent treatment, it's the one word answer communication that I struggle with. I'm still on vacation taking a break from life at home with AH. We talk nightly and pretty much get along well. While on the phone he cursed twice and he knows I don't like it. I said, "You b...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi Saturday night my husbands brother was taken to hospital due to a large brain aneurysm. To cut a long story short, he died on Monday night. He was a lovely man, also an addict like my husband, but other than that, a wonderful man. He was a full time carer for his wife who is severly BiPolar on a disabil...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My neighbor lady is a little slow and emotionally stunted and has signs of being molested. I have been kind and given her a few rides to the store lunch and places, but now its just plain uncomfortable for me and my oldest. She walks right into my apartment and sits down and is becoming a problem with my 14 y...

CDK · CDK

NIve been working really hard at not whining or complaining as much as I used to do. I know that I have the power to change things that make me unhappy. I know that feelings arent facts. But, I think that as a newbie at this, Im beginning to just "stuff". So, right or wrong, these are my feelings....

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Celebrated my anniversary a couple of days late. We had a good time. I am so glad that we did. I am so happy & thrilled. I hope that my next visit to the arthritis clinic goes better. I spent the whole time anxious & afterward I had pain that I didn't have before. My friend Jen went w/ me & if it had...

debhud · debhud

my god! i don't know what is going on. i work my program and usually am happy and have peace within myself. yesterday i went to visit my active AS. was talking to him about going up to our cottage to do some work. (something he has been procrastinating about for months) he said, "mom, you know...

Louisep · Louisep

i guess i need some help and support right now. out of desperation i found this forum, looking for someone who gets it today both my parents came over for my birthday, i could not just sit there and talk about the neighbours when right in front of me my parents are killing themselves day by day. my mom is an...

CDK · CDK

Hello everyone. Ive had a couple reletively good growth days this week. Yesterday, I finally got out and did something new. A friend from group invited me to yoga, and it was awesome. Both the experience itself, and making new friends. I also felt good about trusting my best friend with the details of o...

Country Boy · Country Boy

Wow what a week! Up & down as fast as I could! Then I had a good talk with my sponsor, had a good meeting, got some great suppoert here, did a lot of reading & leveled myself out again. I learned a lot about myself in the process as well. I find my old ways fighting the new ways of the program. (FEAR!!!!...

Wanderer · Wanderer

Last week, RAH and I got into an argument--as usual, over something that should not require arguing over. I kept trying to detach from the situation, then would find myself wanting to defend myself against the senseless insults and accusations, detach, get sucked in, etc. I was able to walk away afte...

teachmath · teachmath

I met my bf when he was in recovery, about 2 months or so. He did not tell me that he was a recovering alcoholic, or that he was only a few months into, until we had already made a connection. We are both over 50, he is divorcing and I am divorced over 15 years. I was married to an abusive man, and dealt with it...

Country Boy · Country Boy

I am so angry. I feel so alone. I feel trapped. My mind spins from one emotion to another. My AW's active affair has me reeling. I cannot keep myself from getting wrapped up in her cheating behavior. I don't know whether she is really bad at hiding it or doesn't care. I can't seem to detach from this. I can't...

Neesabean · Neesabean

I'm new here today. Are there groups or certain forums for topics. I am the mom of a 26 yo male, and I just need to know I'm not alone and how to deal with everyday issues. I'm familiar with AL-Anon, I used to attend meetings when my ex-husband/alcoholic was alive, now I'm going through it with my son.

holivex · holivex

I just need some hugs or support. Today my AH was discharged from the detox unit at the hospital. He had been there since Sunday. I refused to pick him up. His counselor at the hospital actually made me feel guilty about it, telling me that "most addicts are not capable of doing this alone. They...

katfshh · katfshh

It's been 5 days since my AF has been gone. He hasn't made any contact with me at all. Last I heard his sober friend (13 years sober) was trying to get him into a detox on the East coast. I hope that he was able to. But, I also dread the day he comes out of the fog and regrets leaving here. That will be tough, becau...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Sorry if this topic offends anyone. Just seeing a pattern here with the posts... I've been doing so much reading through posts, new and old. What is correlation between our alcoholics and porn/self-satisfaction? I know in my case it's prevelent and quite obvious, but yet just as the alcohol use i...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Thoughts of leaving (Preview) Hello everyone! I've been reading through the forum for about a month now, but I've been too afraid to start a topic of my own. I'm doing it now, because I am almost at my wits' end. I'm 23 and my husband is 25. We have been together for going on 7 years, and married for almost 2. I knew he drank a lot when we we...	lnc12	9	669	Jul 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Detachment, yet showing support, yet not enabling, ESH please (Preview) In our ODAT reading for today it talks about changing the environment and the A desiring sobriety as a result. I kind of think that's the situation but there is that whole giant leap of him wanting to be sober and actually being able to make it happen. I'm really good at the detachment factor. However, I d...	Jackie11	11	633	Jul 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Progress (Preview) BF is sober again now 17 days since his relapse. He found a place to live and will be moving in on the 1st. He was homeless a bit but once he got back into his meetings, had resolved his living situation and accepted my boundaries, he can stay here temporarily. Moving in is not an option... I only allowe...	AStrongerMe	3	358	Jul 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	24/7 struggle! (Preview) Things came to an end with my ABF, I cut the cords. Not that the biggest work has been done, the hardest is yet to come, because as I triggered his awareness, well he triggered mine. So now I face my own addiction, the addiction to this realtionship, the addiction to be needed, the addiction to care more fo...	tortuga	4	588	Jul 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	7th Tradition (Preview) Hi I will be out of town for over a week and have posted the 7th Tradition to the Step Work Board Join us and share your thoughtshttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t50177844/alanon-tradition-7/	hotrod	0	724	Jul 27, 2012 by hotrod
	Pre-Qualified (Preview) I heard this statement recently and loved it .. I was pre-qualified for alanon and boy is there a lot of truth to that!! Last night I went to a wonderful meeting in town and it was nice to know that all I had to do was change location not my schedule. I would have been at a meeting during that time on a Tuesday...	Pushka	8	538	Jul 27, 2012 by Green Eyes
	Tryin to Find My Spirit... (Preview) Have you ever had those Moments where Your Spirt Contracts, & retracts to the Point of a Roller Coaster... For Example... I resently returned from Vacation, and I had an Amazing Time, However there where Moments when I would Feel Over the Moon, and Feel HP Standing Right There, Present, and then O...	Jozie	7	613	Jul 27, 2012 by likemyheart
	still a good week & counting! (Preview) Only one thing to really complain about & it really isn't a complaint. Sometimes when it rains it pours but I am still optimistic. My husband had a crack in his denturs & then lost a tooth on his top plate. Ouch! So, on Weds. we went to a denturist 60 miles away of course--we live in a small town so th...	Hoot Nanny	1	271	Jul 27, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Back here again (long post) (Preview) Hi All, I'm so glad this is here for me. I am a wreck this morning. After 7 years of marriage, we are still in the same place. AH still drinks, but at least it was getting better for a while--not as drunk, or not as often. I could sort of manage that. I was also trying my best not to hide his beer, con...	Minaret	11	615	Jul 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	Change takes awhile (Preview) I suppose this is as much a vent as anything. AD (23 yo) has been in the program and sober for over 3 months after a DUI - her second. I'm so glad she's doing it. Better to do it at this age than later, etc. She is having difficulties dealing with the idea of jail, won't apply for jobs with the pending court a...	Inawhirl	5	495	Jul 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	why does it have to be so difficult?? (Preview) This is just a bit of a vent... Before I got married and had kids, I kind of expected that those things would change my life. I would have to make compromises, sacrifices even, and that it would be a lot of work. But that it would all be worth it. The joy of having a husband and children would balance out the wo...	Wanderer	2	492	Jul 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	my expectations were not met (Preview) NOt that I went anywhere. I just feel like I have been living under a rock or a cloud for the past fortnight. My husband came back from his brothers funeral early hours of this morning. I was so scared this would trigger a full on relapse for my husband. I thought I will put my husband on the plane but pick...	Oksie	6	478	Jul 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	positive attitude! (Preview) I'd like to share this thought with you. Wishing all of us a beautifal day and dream	tortuga	2	623	Jul 26, 2012 by LeenieBeanie
	step 4 (Preview) I just read on the step work board for 4, awesome, amazing shares!!! I've been attending my meeting since October, on this board since October. I got a sponsor in February. Started working the steps, up to 4. Where I've been since March. Not that I haven't been working on me, I have been. We all come into t...	Jackie11	7	1219	Jul 26, 2012 by hotrod
	to speak or not to speak (Preview) My AH has been doing pretty good in his recovery, although he refuses to be in a program. Today I suspect he "snuck" a drink and I know I should not waste my energy thinking about it. My question is this, should I just ignore it or make a comment about it? In the past, I have made a quick commen...	imom	3	679	Jul 26, 2012 by Mattie
	world convention 2013 (Preview) Hi all, an old timer in one of my meetings told me she is going to the world convention in Vancouver 5-7 July13. I live in england and it would be very expensive for me to go but if i start saving just a bit now you never know. I love america and and some other members have said they are staying o for a bit of a hol...	Tracy	2	639	Jul 26, 2012 by Tracy
	DOUBLE DIPPING! (Preview) Does it bother anyone out there when people share more than once in a meeting? Here I am sharing a few minutes after I quit! I hope you all don't find me stale & boring & repeating myself. I am known for sharing way too much & getting off topic. The ODAT helps me stay on topic sometimes but even o...	Hoot Nanny	2	463	Jul 26, 2012 by Jerry F
	Intoxicating mixes (Preview) I grew up in a family where there was tremendous dysfunction, chaos and madness. The intoxicating stew that was there that bonded all of us were intensity, intense demands then completely being ignored and always having my needs, concerns and goals minimized. If I get myself in a similar situation t...	orchidlover	2	725	Jul 26, 2012 by hotrod
	UGH! How can I NOT react???? (vent) (Preview) I'm so frustrated. Mad at my A and mad at myself. I mentioned in a prior post that I had suspicions that my A was abusing his Adderall. I found some empty capsules in his pockets. (doing laundry, not snooping) I had been told that he takes them at work and in the morning. When I found them it happened to b...	ELEKTRAWMN	3	544	Jul 26, 2012 by Pushka
	What am I? Who am I? (Preview) I'm starting down this path...... I have gone down this path before and only go so far, why? I do not know. Maybe because it's overwhelming? I need to sort it out. I went to the bookstore today.....it was overwhelming. I had intentions to buy Getting them Sober and The Language of Letting Go. Neit...	Neesabean	5	638	Jul 26, 2012 by Jerry F
	Not as nice contact today... (Preview) Well, since I didn't answer him two days ago, his not so sweet side came out. I think he is still trying to control me. I can tell he is annoyed with my silence. I wound up blocking him from sending me a message on Facebook. I won't delete my account, because I have so many relatives on there that live in Ohio a...	katfshh	7	671	Jul 25, 2012 by katfshh
	Mommy guilt..lets call it that (Preview) So..as I read my ala lit and read posts im more and more aware that my biggest struggle is "mommy guilt". Im struggling as a wife and a mom to reconcile this alcoholic chaos that we live...tht I brought a child into...how unfair...and its THAT that tears me apart. My ah is a functioning alc......	Theoceancalls	16	648	Jul 25, 2012 by Inawhirl
	good week & hoping! (Preview) I know it is only Tuesday but I am having a good week & hoping for even better. I know it is a one day at a time program, but I am very hopeful for the future! You alll are part of my future & I couldn't be more grateful for all of you & the support you give me. I have been blessed beyond words & the...	Hoot Nanny	1	300	Jul 25, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Ashamed to admit this..... (Preview) So, I was never the sneaky check up on my man kind of person. It just never occured to me that people would lie to me, cheat me out of my peace and self worth, or steal my serenity. I was very naive and I still am, to some degree, LOL. Anyway, along with all the normal codependent crazy stuff I did like looki...	ilovedogs	10	860	Jul 25, 2012 by orchidlover
	Well... I'm back. (Preview) Hi everyone. It's been almost a year since I've been on the board. So many things have changed and unfortunately, I'm in a lost place again. I know I should have continued talking and helping others and I feel pretty selfish only showing up when I'm in turmoil again. When I was last on, my A was just ab...	ELEKTRAWMN	11	662	Jul 25, 2012 by Minaret
	Again....3am...:() (Preview) Im so damn tired. Exhusted really. In my ah came at 300. Been out all night. Ive been trying to sleep since midnight. Really...praying, putting it I Gods hands ...but not really sble to sleep. At 300 I went out to kitch in time to see him just walking through the door...i broke every rule and calmly said, w...	Theoceancalls	4	553	Jul 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	bad day with family of origin (Preview) I feel like a bad person right now but I'm very unhappy with my FOO. I know I've mentioned that my mother is a an alcoholic and I also have a serverly Bi-Polar older brother. I personally believe his illness is much more than bi-polar because I 've known other people with this disease that manage it quit...	amills4294	5	761	Jul 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	need help (Preview) i need help with separateing the person from the desease,im a very slow learner ,i find myself counting my a b/f beers at night after he gets in to see how much he is drinking and even how many ounces each beer is i guesss im scared he will over drink and chaos will begin.im not likeing this sit. but now im fee...	silent	4	481	Jul 24, 2012 by silent
	An Old Post Worth Reading Again & Again (Preview) This message board is like a "treasure box." As one puruses through new and not-so new posts and replies, one can find "jewels" that seem to be created just for her or him. Here's a jewel I found this morning as I was looking through posts written by a longtime MIP member who goes b...	GailMichelle	6	575	Jul 24, 2012 by GailMichelle
	what to do (Preview) My AW has gotten a sponsor and has been working the program as of late. I said to her that it appeared she was drinking. That produced a furious response of denial. The pattern is to get a 1/2 pint every day in the morning that is consumed between 11 and 3. She will go to a meeting and on the way home get a bot...	gyzer02	6	726	Jul 24, 2012 by ELEKTRAWMN
	new here and trying to find my balance (Preview) I met my husband 5 years ago we have been married for about 3. He was always a social drinker but after a bout with cancer he has started to drink about a 6 pack every day at least. I am a therapist and know about alcoholism but it is hard to deal with it in my own life. I am going to a meeting tonight. I know I need s...	justme777	6	575	Jul 24, 2012 by Eddie1248
	Tired of the guilt and anger (Preview) I am new here and this is my first post though I have been reading posts for quite some time. I guess I should start with some background info. I met my husband 4 years ago. He is a wonderfully bright and creative individual and the love of my life. Unfortunately he has a drinking problem. His father was a...	Dazzy	3	486	Jul 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Recovery and relapse (Preview) Thank God for my Monday meeting! I can hardly wait to go at noon. My husband and I have been "separated" for 3 months, only now talking for the last month. Initially I asked him to leave after a back argument, which resulted in me calling the police. We have been slowly working toward worki...	KLotus	5	578	Jul 24, 2012 by pinkchip
	Did I say something wrong? Should I not say how I feel, when they ask? (Preview) My AH moved 2 states away and tells me today that he got an offer to move in with a friend that is in our state, 2 hours away. He called me so I talked to him on the phone, and was quiet for most of the conversation. When I finally decided to set my boundaries and let him know that I was not interested in working...	dragonflys	9	784	Jul 24, 2012 by dragonflys
	Just need to mind-dump (Preview) I'm getting squirrley today... a bit loco. Left a message with my sponsor, first, though. I try to make it my practice if I'm getting really off-balance to make calling her the first step in returning myself to some measure of sanity. Since she's not available, however, I figure I'll just pop on here...	Aloha	6	662	Jul 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	He made first contact.. (Preview) OK, I knew this was just around the corner, and this morning it happened. His message sounded sober. The friend he is staying with is 13 years sober, and told him he cannot stay there if he is drinking. I would think that he stopped in order to live there. First he "liked" a picture on my faceboo...	katfshh	20	894	Jul 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	Today is exactly 1 year I have been divorced (Preview) and in this year I have become much healthier and happier within myself. I am setting goals and trying to achieve them and am not living in crisis mode or in a victim role any longer. It is sad to see my exAH still stuck in the same spot as when I moved out 2 years ago, but he could be working a program if he so cho...	Breakingfree	10	537	Jul 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	Neat Saying (Preview) I've thought about about this one a LOT lately. Don't indulge in binge thinking. I posted this on another board however wanted to share here as well :)	Pushka	7	496	Jul 23, 2012 by willowtree
	today is my day! (Preview) Having a birthday sure makes you realize that you are loved! I can attest to that for sure. Birthday party this morning & more plans for later today. I am so grateful for all my friendships! Went to the campout/BBQ on Sat. It worked out great hanging out w/ a bunch of alcoholics. I even was the only Ala...	Hoot Nanny	1	304	Jul 23, 2012 by Jen
	keeping the focus on us .. Trying .. (Preview) This weekend is a rough one .. Surrounded by siblings and family members while we work on a move from one house to another .. When I'm in recovery with others, it's such a great feeling of serenity and unity .. There is no division .. Things are better than they used to be with my siblings .. Recognizing no...	MeTwo2	2	554	Jul 23, 2012 by hotrod
	Busy busy busy .. (Preview) I have been around just not posting .. lol .. it's been crazy stuff. Right now I'm back in San Diego with the kids, we will be here for a couple of weeks. I have no idea what I will be coming home to .. at this point i can't worry about it. It's going to be there when I get back .. oh the joys of it all. Today thou...	Pushka	6	577	Jul 23, 2012 by Pushka
	Dont know this person divorce the only answer? (Preview) I'm attending a few live meetings, but honestly Idont think I cant wait 6 months . Ive been married only 1 year, separated 7 months. If I knew what I know now, I would never have married this person. I have never been around alcoholics. I had heard my minister to be husband had been in rehab, but I was ma...	Wantoutdone	3	819	Jul 23, 2012 by lacewing
	good samaritan (Preview) I am so grateful for good honest people. I left my phone in the parking lot of a movie theater yesterday & found on the roof of my car. It must have been sitting there for over 3 hrs.!	Hoot Nanny	1	389	Jul 23, 2012 by luv123
	how do you start your day? (Preview) Mine starts in my head while I am asleep it wakes me up, and I come down stairs pop on the kettle and read alanon, I read my stars too but onlt take notice of the bits I like, just like today I started off optimistic no real worries I count my blessings hug my daughter, show my husband some real affcetion and th...	Katy	10	1034	Jul 23, 2012 by 1911A1
	Responding to the silent treatment(vent) (Preview) Well, it's not really true silent treatment, it's the one word answer communication that I struggle with. I'm still on vacation taking a break from life at home with AH. We talk nightly and pretty much get along well. While on the phone he cursed twice and he knows I don't like it. I said, "You b...	ilovedogs	9	1086	Jul 23, 2012 by dragonflys
	death in the family (Preview) Hi Saturday night my husbands brother was taken to hospital due to a large brain aneurysm. To cut a long story short, he died on Monday night. He was a lovely man, also an addict like my husband, but other than that, a wonderful man. He was a full time carer for his wife who is severly BiPolar on a disabil...	Oksie	8	573	Jul 23, 2012 by Oksie
	Neighbor breaking boundaries (Preview) My neighbor lady is a little slow and emotionally stunted and has signs of being molested. I have been kind and given her a few rides to the store lunch and places, but now its just plain uncomfortable for me and my oldest. She walks right into my apartment and sits down and is becoming a problem with my 14 y...	Breakingfree	4	619	Jul 22, 2012 by Jen
	A good vent (Preview) NIve been working really hard at not whining or complaining as much as I used to do. I know that I have the power to change things that make me unhappy. I know that feelings arent facts. But, I think that as a newbie at this, Im beginning to just "stuff". So, right or wrong, these are my feelings....	CDK	7	641	Jul 22, 2012 by pinkchip
	I am going to make this quick! (Preview) Celebrated my anniversary a couple of days late. We had a good time. I am so glad that we did. I am so happy & thrilled. I hope that my next visit to the arthritis clinic goes better. I spent the whole time anxious & afterward I had pain that I didn't have before. My friend Jen went w/ me & if it had...	Hoot Nanny	0	282	Jul 21, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	sudden surge of anger (Preview) my god! i don't know what is going on. i work my program and usually am happy and have peace within myself. yesterday i went to visit my active AS. was talking to him about going up to our cottage to do some work. (something he has been procrastinating about for months) he said, "mom, you know...	debhud	5	823	Jul 22, 2012 by Debilyn
	parents addiction (Preview) i guess i need some help and support right now. out of desperation i found this forum, looking for someone who gets it today both my parents came over for my birthday, i could not just sit there and talk about the neighbours when right in front of me my parents are killing themselves day by day. my mom is an...	Louisep	4	430	Jul 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Brain Fog Heart Fog (Preview) Hello everyone. Ive had a couple reletively good growth days this week. Yesterday, I finally got out and did something new. A friend from group invited me to yoga, and it was awesome. Both the experience itself, and making new friends. I also felt good about trusting my best friend with the details of o...	CDK	2	427	Jul 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	A good post for a change of pace (Preview) Wow what a week! Up & down as fast as I could! Then I had a good talk with my sponsor, had a good meeting, got some great suppoert here, did a lot of reading & leveled myself out again. I learned a lot about myself in the process as well. I find my old ways fighting the new ways of the program. (FEAR!!!!...	Country Boy	6	477	Jul 21, 2012 by katfshh
	Strange (but good) experience... (Preview) Last week, RAH and I got into an argument--as usual, over something that should not require arguing over. I kept trying to detach from the situation, then would find myself wanting to defend myself against the senseless insults and accusations, detach, get sucked in, etc. I was able to walk away afte...	Wanderer	5	556	Jul 21, 2012 by pinkchip
	need advice on dating a man in recovery (Preview) I met my bf when he was in recovery, about 2 months or so. He did not tell me that he was a recovering alcoholic, or that he was only a few months into, until we had already made a connection. We are both over 50, he is divorcing and I am divorced over 15 years. I was married to an abusive man, and dealt with it...	teachmath	18	795	Jul 21, 2012 by teachmath
	Yup, I'm a mess (Preview) I am so angry. I feel so alone. I feel trapped. My mind spins from one emotion to another. My AW's active affair has me reeling. I cannot keep myself from getting wrapped up in her cheating behavior. I don't know whether she is really bad at hiding it or doesn't care. I can't seem to detach from this. I can't...	Country Boy	9	706	Jul 21, 2012 by xeno59
	Mom of an Alcoholic/addicted person (Preview) I'm new here today. Are there groups or certain forums for topics. I am the mom of a 26 yo male, and I just need to know I'm not alone and how to deal with everyday issues. I'm familiar with AL-Anon, I used to attend meetings when my ex-husband/alcoholic was alive, now I'm going through it with my son.	Neesabean	5	558	Jul 21, 2012 by xeno59
	AH out of detox, and I filed the papers today (Preview) I just need some hugs or support. Today my AH was discharged from the detox unit at the hospital. He had been there since Sunday. I refused to pick him up. His counselor at the hospital actually made me feel guilty about it, telling me that "most addicts are not capable of doing this alone. They...	holivex	10	769	Jul 21, 2012 by Auntyaya
	Good Days and Bad Days (Preview) It's been 5 days since my AF has been gone. He hasn't made any contact with me at all. Last I heard his sober friend (13 years sober) was trying to get him into a detox on the East coast. I hope that he was able to. But, I also dread the day he comes out of the fog and regrets leaving here. That will be tough, becau...	katfshh	9	681	Jul 21, 2012 by katfshh
	A question regarding intimacy and our A's. (Preview) Sorry if this topic offends anyone. Just seeing a pattern here with the posts... I've been doing so much reading through posts, new and old. What is correlation between our alcoholics and porn/self-satisfaction? I know in my case it's prevelent and quite obvious, but yet just as the alcohol use i...	ELEKTRAWMN	11	938	Jul 20, 2012 by Debilyn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.