Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tracy · Tracy

Mt ex bf has been on a big slip for about 6 months h has not hasd a drink for a week and has asked if he can stay here for couple of days while gets accommodation and back to AA. I have supported him in the past but this time is differnt. I know he has nothing to give me , I understand that we can not b together I am no...

Artpulse · Artpulse

Tonight was my 5th al-anon meeting and i am feeling upset on how it was handled. The first 4 meetings left me feeling hopeful. I thought i had found my tribe! I had hit the bottom of depression and was isolating-even the people I loved most. Tonight's reading included a passage on despair. When it was my...

jerseygirl · jerseygirl

My bf is a binge drinker and has been living w/me for 6 months. We have gone thru the cycle a few times of him drinking for days on end. I quit drinking 45 days ago and his drinking is a threat to my sobriety. I thought we would do this together but obviously this is not the case. Well I finally threw him out...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Last night my AH was excited by the preseason game. His comment, last year I didn't get excited about football because we were fighting all the time... I bit my tongue. Even if he hadn't been drinking I would have bit my tongue. WE were not fighting, you were acting like a huge gigantic jerk, ALL THE FLIP...

silent · silent

we talk everyday onthe phone,at nite he calls me while he is drinking ,this is when i thank my lucky stars that i dont have to be around that anymore his drinking, missing him is just part of it,i know this will also pass,i know i can get through this,its just soo sad that as good and skilled a man he is that he...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Could use some advice today. I know my AH hasn't been sober, he says he is - says he doesn't feel the need to drink, but I know he has been drinking. For some reason this morning I decided to look through the trash, and there they were, two empty vodka bottles. I know he was home yesterday while I was working a...

Rosie77 · Rosie77

Sometimes I feel like my alcaholic husband doesn't want to talk to me when his sober. His snappy, unresponsive and miserable. I spend my time feeling like have done something wrong. I have started to get my life back together by doing things that I enjoy for a while we were simply only going to the pub o...

willowtree · willowtree

I don't know if anyone here does EFT or knows anything about Brad Yates. I love listening to his videos - I don't always tap along. This one is great on "Playing the victim" He even says the Serenity Prayer. For me it was very powerful and I felt it was along the lines of Alanon. So I wanted t...

silent · silent

my sister,only sister that i have here in this town is acting crazy i dont know what to do,she takes suboxin,which is a medicine to keep u off opiates and she was in a really bad car wreck over a year ago that broke her neck which she had major surgery,i went to with her to watch her beautiful baby girl cheer a...

isitmytime514 · isitmytime514

Hello, just joined here tonite... I was trying to read over some of the posts, and get a feel for the board. I read some from people that are broken up w/their prospective A. Am I crazy to want to work this out? We've been married 5 yrs... 2nd marriages for both of us. Is it possible, or am I just kidding m...

Micmin · Micmin

I am a sister of a 51 year old alcoholic who just moved in with me 2 months ago she previously had 13 years sobriety and lost her job and moved across country to live with me. To help me take care of my terminal I'll mother who is also living with me. She has been relapsing for past 5 weeks and she will go to a aa m...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

Someone please remind me to NEVER get my hopes up again. Last Wednesday, my husband told me he wanted to dry out. I didn't want to, but I did get my hopes up, I even posted about it on here... We have gone through the detox and he has told me that he knows his drinking is driving us apart. Today he was being re...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, today AH forwarded an email to me regarding his sales incentive trip to Costa Rica. I needed to get back to him ASAP and let him know if I planned on going. His words to me were, "Let me know what you think of this." Apparently, he was supposed to respond a week ago for the cut off but neglec...

Diva · Diva

And he has taken lots of his "thingss" and has gone to live in his new apartment. I feel so delightfully giddy - most of the time. I can do what I wish when I wish to do it. No arguing, no crying, no nonsense, not pandering to a drunk. It is a huge relief. Finally, after all the years of vascill...

ntxalanon · ntxalanon

I just wanted to express my gratitude for alanon's everywhere who have helped me through many difficult times dealing with alcoholism and how I react to it and deal with a spouse who is an A. My wifes journey has had many twists, but after several relapses, 6 months, then 9 months, she has officially hi...

suebama · suebama

A friend of mine thinks I'm depressed and says I should take anti-depressants. I'm not asking anyone for advice, I know this is an outside issue, but I would like to know if my hysteria is normal or a little overboard. I'm afraid that pills will just prolong the inevitable. First of all, I have breast c...

tortuga · tortuga

After weeks of fear, distress, frustration and anxiety emotions and several of related posts, today I feel like sharing a positive emotion: returning calm through growing awareness! Reality has not become 'ideal', but there is movement, improvement...at least on my side. Because I have found MI...

meowdub3 · meowdub3

i really dont know where to begin, i have been w/my now fiance for a little over a year. since ive moved in with him ive seen very awful drinking episodes to the point where he blacks out is angry and mean and destorys the house due to vomiting and w/e have you... aside from that since hes been prescibed pres...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

My husband told me yesterday that he wants to "dry out". He has done this before on his own. From what I have read and learned through my research it is very rare that an alcoholic can quit and never go back to the booze without some form of counseling. However, he will not go at this time. So...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Today, started out with the AH leaving me a message that he was at work so I was welcome to come hang out at the house for a while. I called back to tell him thanks for being so kind as to invite me to my own home and he started in with the victim attitude again. How it was my choice to leave and he has asked me ove...

regp · regp

Where to start? My husband finally decided to go thru a 35 day rehab. After 3 solid years of drinking and trying to stop....he was what you call a functional drunk. He worked and never made it into work late or didnt call in sick (at first). He started with beer every night after work...then graduated to...

Minaret · Minaret

After all these years of dealing with a challenging marriage with AH and two young children, I am just done, done, done. Now the jerk has cheated on me and is still lying through his teeth trying to cover it up. I have good proof this time--I feel like I have to, otherwise he will just lie and manipulate as m...

suebama · suebama

I think I may be getting better. I'm just beginning to have the slightest bit of hope. For so long I've been trying to fight my way out of this darkness, but a sick mind cannot heal a sick mind. Really, this site has helped so much. I've also gotten a sponsor from my f2f meeting and am talking with her.....

glow · glow

My brother has been in inpatient treatment, left AA because of philosophical differences, said he was working on his alcoholism his own way, and recently got fired from his job for his drinking. My parents are providing him money for health insurance and even talking about giving him a place to live...

fallingdown · fallingdown

My A wont respond to me, and I know he's with his friend who influences him to drink the most... I know there's nothing to do I just need someone to talk to....

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

This episode started 2-3wks. ago, my 17y.o. grandson told me he was moving 41/2 miles away with his step dad and his 7y.o. sis. For a moment I got involved, expressing my feelings against it, but realized it was none of my business, but I went into the fear mode, a large city, gangs, HS dropout etc. A f...

Rosie77 · Rosie77

Im new to this! Finally had a break down this year. My husband drinks every day 3 or 4 drinks of which I see. His job is as a head brewer for an ale company. He as only had this job for about 6 months. I questioned why he would come home with the smell of alcahol on his breath. He said he has to check the brew in prog...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, I went to the liverpool (in England)AA convention yesterday. I love it I have so many friends in al anon and AA , I love it when we all come together. there were not many Al anon members whcih is a shame seems to be same old faces at conventions (so members just like comfort of their groups) There wer...

Hope2000 · Hope2000

I've posted before and I've been to a few F2F meetings. I'm trying to use the tools I'm learning but it seems that things are getting worse vs better. I used to try and control when he drinks and how much. I used to threaten to leave if he came home drinking but I never did, at least not for long. It seemed that...

Jennifer · Jennifer

An acquaintance was telling a story about how other drivers have been trying to race her and her new car constantly and explained how she outmaneuvered this particular driver who tried to pass her. As I was listening I had an experience of actually feeling my uneasy emotional reaction which consiste...

daisy31 · daisy31

Does anyone believe in this stuff? I am curious your thoughts on it. I kind of believe it but it also freaked me out a bit too. The link is below http://thecarolblog.com/energetic-events-emotions/

silent · silent

here i am up at 3am and missing my a and his company we both always got up around this time,i know he is missing it to,here i go agin ,harder this time being without him,but i do know i can do this,it wont be easy but it will be worth it in the long run,i do know that just have to keep thinking of all the negs he put i...

silent · silent

i finally told him he had to move out in a nice tone of voice,he didnt want to go but excepted it and packed his things nicely ,he wants us to still be boyfreind and girlfreind,i said o.k.,we would still talk and go out.soooo i got what i wanted (my space back),along with my peace of mind and serenity back,i...

She-ra · She-ra

Hello - I'm brand new here and I just wanted to say hello :) I've been searching around and I really like a lot of what I have read and I look forward to reading more and learning. I am fairly new to Alanon ( just finished a 90 in 90) I have known of the program for years but never really immersed myself in it lik...

JJ21 · JJ21

I have attended two F2F meetings and in both the people were trying to stay in their marriage or they were parents of alcoholic children. I felt a little out of place since I am no longer in my relationship and looking to move forward. I am hurt that alcohol caused this and I get that I can't change it and f...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I am sitting here surrounded in bills trying to juggle how to pay them and noticed that the ONE that I asked my husband to pay last month didn't get paid and now we owe for two months. I also realized that he went from making close to six figures to making @$20,000 last year. He had conveniently filed for a...

Oksie · Oksie

Hopefully a brief one. In my mind, I have my wonderful loving husband whom I adore, and his evil twin... the addict.. who comes homes in his place every now and then. Last night, the addict came to visit, but as he hadn't been here for a while, he was on his best behaviour. I came home to a stoned husband. Th...

Kismet · Kismet

The more I listen to people and read stories, the more I wonder if it is possible for alcoholics to recover? I think I know of one happy ending and it scares me. I know that my happiness is my responsibility but I am really worried that rehab doesn't seem to have a very good success rate for the alcoholics.....

Debilyn · Debilyn

You know how we say we can choose how we react to something? I was tortured by the past losses almost every day. A very wise woman showed me some scriptures that said we are to be in the present and look ahead! Wow hmmm. So for awhile now if those creepy past things come into my head I stop it and say I am here now...

Gailey · Gailey

As I have told you before my oldest A son has just celebrated his 1st AA anniversary. I am so grateful for that. He and I attend our meetings on Saturday evenings as much as possible. He goes upstains...I go downstairs I have always known my younger son had a problem. I have even labeled him an A the last co...

Pipper · Pipper

Hi everyone I just decided to join the boards sometime it's hard to get to meetings.my husband of 28 years had 19 years sobriety when he slipped it has been a fast decline I've been in alanon for 1 year and just trying to get my head together I'm having such a hard time of detaching. My fear just keeps my mind...

suebama · suebama

I dreamed last night that my ex AH came to me and told me how much he missed me and begged me back. It was a warm and delicious dream, almost like a romance novel. When I woke up and realized it was just a dream, I almost sank into despair immediately. However, I asked myself if I was going to let a stupid dre...

pineapple · pineapple

I'm feeling a little sentimental tonight. Things are finally looking up for me. My A is planning to go back to the U.S. to live, has a flight booked at the end of the month. This has me on a roller coaster of emotions-happy, sad, hurt, glad. But overall I know it's the best thing for both of us. I'm finally ab...

daisy31 · daisy31

How do you successfully have a relationship with a dysfunctional family (parents/siblings)? I want to have a relationship with them but they seem to want to enmesh with me. I have gotten really healthy from creating time and distance and I have gotten pretty strong by keeping my distance. Now th...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I know this is academic and I didn't write it - it's not alanon but actually I think some of the ideas from Alanon and ACOA shaped this form of marital/relationship therapy. Again, there have been many posts about how futile therapy is with an active alcoholic, but this does offer some insight into why...

Kismet · Kismet

I don't know how to cope any more. The stress of getting my husband to rehab and the years of the rollercoaster that comes with living with my AH have shattered me. Now that he is away and I am here trying to run my business and look after my two kids who are 1 and 3. The youngest is teething so I get no sleep at ni...

KLotus · KLotus

My AH began drinking again 9 weeks ago after one year of, well, dry-drunking. We separated a few months ago, and began reconciling after a couple of months, though he's not back home yet. He is now saying he isn't an alcoholic, that I have caused him to treat me badly (he said he's not an abuser typicall...

Jerry F · Jerry F

take a tooth pulling...LOL (((MIP))). It's true...there is "some" pain; it's located only in one small spot; once the tooth is gone the cause of the pain is gone and I remind myself the pain is very temporary whereas alcoholism just seems to go on forever. The dental people are all sooo...

Country Boy · Country Boy

I was reading another post about ultimatums & it got me thinking, I have never given AW an ultimatum. I have never said "if you don't stop drinking I'll ........." If you get drunk at the party I'll.........". Of course I would lecture her after it happened as any good codependent...

Amandakay · Amandakay

Sometimes I wish she wasn't so darned dramatic! We talked last night over cookies and milk. I just wanted to make sure she understood what happened to her was wrong. So, I asked her if she remembered the conversation and she did and basically told me the whole thing all over again with all kinds of drama a...

Frogonmytoe · Frogonmytoe

My husband is an alcoholic. I moved from San Diego to rural Nebraska five years ago; the first year was good, then it all went downhill once I realized my then boyfriend/now husband had a drinking problem. I used to go out with him and drink, even get drunk. Then I moved in with him, and going out became...

Oksie · Oksie

I will try to cut this long story short..... Some background required knowledge: Paying for an overseas trip so have no spare money at present. Husband who is atrocious at organising thingsMy husbands brothers funeral to pay for and he wants to give $1000 and I say its too much, but how can ya argue wi...

suebama · suebama

I wish I could overcome my feelings of jealousy, they seem so silly. Truth is, I wouldn't have him back with a COLLOSAL dowry! But every time I think of my ex "sober" husband (sorry, haven't learned to abbreviate like SOU) with his girlfriend or with our kids or with his girlfriend and our...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

Now that my AH has moved back to live with her AFather (she was living out of state for the last 18 months), I am really struggling with setting boundaries with her. On the advice on my sponsor, last night I went to my first Al-Anon meeting specifically for parents. I've been in Al-Anon for over 3 years, bu...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

While things have improved dramatically at home, I am currently struggling with a very unsatisfying work life at the moment. I came to the realization years ago that my career is not really something that I enjoy and not something that I was put on this earth to do. But, I'm 20 years in and as much as I disl...

jennfire · jennfire

My husband over the last year has quit drining, but never said forever or surrendered.....months of no drinking, then drinks and ends up being ugly for our marriage. This time he has told me he knows he can never drink again. I know the importance of support during recovery, but I am reluctant. Why s...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi everyone! Yesterday I met with my therapist and she confronted me about how I don't cry about what's going on in my marriage. She asked me why I don't cry and I pretty much told her that crying doesn't get me anywhere except left with a HUGE headache, achy eyes, and a sore nose. Also, it never goes well...

artygirl · artygirl

Hi! I was here several years ago when I was married to an A who was also a cocaine addict. Looong story short... I left him and divorced him and have completely moved forward in my life. I met someone new and have a fantastic relationship with him and we're planning to get married sometime next year. My...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

So, things have been really terrible for the last 3 months. My AH's brother committed suicide in May. This is a horrible tradgedy and on top of it, he and my husband didn't have a great relationship. My AH is racked with guilt because he thinks he could have done somthing to prevent it. He is in a deep...

CassieCKA · CassieCKA

This is my first time on this board and I will be attending my first Al-Anon meeting next week. The roller coaster of the last 5 years has reached new heights when it comes to my parents, especially my mother. Both my parents are alcoholics, but my dad stopped drinking 12 years ago and has been sober and c...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	need to get this out (Preview) Mt ex bf has been on a big slip for about 6 months h has not hasd a drink for a week and has asked if he can stay here for couple of days while gets accommodation and back to AA. I have supported him in the past but this time is differnt. I know he has nothing to give me , I understand that we can not b together I am no...	Tracy	4	588	Aug 23, 2012 by Tracy
	Being cut off at a meeting (Preview) Tonight was my 5th al-anon meeting and i am feeling upset on how it was handled. The first 4 meetings left me feeling hopeful. I thought i had found my tribe! I had hit the bottom of depression and was isolating-even the people I loved most. Tonight's reading included a passage on despair. When it was my...	Artpulse	18	802	Aug 23, 2012 by Artpulse
	Please help am I doing the right thing? (Preview) My bf is a binge drinker and has been living w/me for 6 months. We have gone thru the cycle a few times of him drinking for days on end. I quit drinking 45 days ago and his drinking is a threat to my sobriety. I thought we would do this together but obviously this is not the case. Well I finally threw him out...	jerseygirl	5	664	Aug 23, 2012 by sonikk
	Taking care of me (Preview) Last night my AH was excited by the preseason game. His comment, last year I didn't get excited about football because we were fighting all the time... I bit my tongue. Even if he hadn't been drinking I would have bit my tongue. WE were not fighting, you were acting like a huge gigantic jerk, ALL THE FLIP...	Jackie11	3	352	Aug 23, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	talking to my a on ph. (Preview) we talk everyday onthe phone,at nite he calls me while he is drinking ,this is when i thank my lucky stars that i dont have to be around that anymore his drinking, missing him is just part of it,i know this will also pass,i know i can get through this,its just soo sad that as good and skilled a man he is that he...	silent	6	565	Aug 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Found The Bottles But Why Am I So Bothered? (Preview) Could use some advice today. I know my AH hasn't been sober, he says he is - says he doesn't feel the need to drink, but I know he has been drinking. For some reason this morning I decided to look through the trash, and there they were, two empty vodka bottles. I know he was home yesterday while I was working a...	TrudyS85	10	694	Aug 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Manipulative sober and drunk (Preview) Sometimes I feel like my alcaholic husband doesn't want to talk to me when his sober. His snappy, unresponsive and miserable. I spend my time feeling like have done something wrong. I have started to get my life back together by doing things that I enjoy for a while we were simply only going to the pub o...	Rosie77	7	744	Aug 22, 2012 by ilovkevin
	Great video on "playing the victim" (Preview) I don't know if anyone here does EFT or knows anything about Brad Yates. I love listening to his videos - I don't always tap along. This one is great on "Playing the victim" He even says the Serenity Prayer. For me it was very powerful and I felt it was along the lines of Alanon. So I wanted t...	willowtree	2	380	Aug 22, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	sister acting crazy (Preview) my sister,only sister that i have here in this town is acting crazy i dont know what to do,she takes suboxin,which is a medicine to keep u off opiates and she was in a really bad car wreck over a year ago that broke her neck which she had major surgery,i went to with her to watch her beautiful baby girl cheer a...	silent	1	522	Aug 22, 2012 by Mattie
	New, but want to work this out (Preview) Hello, just joined here tonite... I was trying to read over some of the posts, and get a feel for the board. I read some from people that are broken up w/their prospective A. Am I crazy to want to work this out? We've been married 5 yrs... 2nd marriages for both of us. Is it possible, or am I just kidding m...	isitmytime514	8	941	Aug 22, 2012 by JJ21
	What to do (Preview) I am a sister of a 51 year old alcoholic who just moved in with me 2 months ago she previously had 13 years sobriety and lost her job and moved across country to live with me. To help me take care of my terminal I'll mother who is also living with me. She has been relapsing for past 5 weeks and she will go to a aa m...	Micmin	6	531	Aug 22, 2012 by Micmin
	Someone PLEASE remind me... (Preview) Someone please remind me to NEVER get my hopes up again. Last Wednesday, my husband told me he wanted to dry out. I didn't want to, but I did get my hopes up, I even posted about it on here... We have gone through the detox and he has told me that he knows his drinking is driving us apart. Today he was being re...	almostgivenup	12	732	Aug 22, 2012 by almostgivenup
	Wow! I feel great (Preview) So, today AH forwarded an email to me regarding his sales incentive trip to Costa Rica. I needed to get back to him ASAP and let him know if I planned on going. His words to me were, "Let me know what you think of this." Apparently, he was supposed to respond a week ago for the cut off but neglec...	ilovedogs	4	589	Aug 22, 2012 by canadianguy
	He has moved out. (Preview) And he has taken lots of his "thingss" and has gone to live in his new apartment. I feel so delightfully giddy - most of the time. I can do what I wish when I wish to do it. No arguing, no crying, no nonsense, not pandering to a drunk. It is a huge relief. Finally, after all the years of vascill...	Diva	6	507	Aug 21, 2012 by orchidlover
	Thankful (Preview) I just wanted to express my gratitude for alanon's everywhere who have helped me through many difficult times dealing with alcoholism and how I react to it and deal with a spouse who is an A. My wifes journey has had many twists, but after several relapses, 6 months, then 9 months, she has officially hi...	ntxalanon	7	399	Aug 21, 2012 by jitsuka
	Is this normal? (Preview) A friend of mine thinks I'm depressed and says I should take anti-depressants. I'm not asking anyone for advice, I know this is an outside issue, but I would like to know if my hysteria is normal or a little overboard. I'm afraid that pills will just prolong the inevitable. First of all, I have breast c...	suebama	10	617	Aug 21, 2012 by milkwood
	returning calm through growing awareness (Preview) After weeks of fear, distress, frustration and anxiety emotions and several of related posts, today I feel like sharing a positive emotion: returning calm through growing awareness! Reality has not become 'ideal', but there is movement, improvement...at least on my side. Because I have found MI...	tortuga	4	368	Aug 21, 2012 by canadianguy
	hopeless on my fiance alcoholic/addict...desperatly need help (Preview) i really dont know where to begin, i have been w/my now fiance for a little over a year. since ive moved in with him ive seen very awful drinking episodes to the point where he blacks out is angry and mean and destorys the house due to vomiting and w/e have you... aside from that since hes been prescibed pres...	meowdub3	4	560	Aug 21, 2012 by canadianguy
	Cautiously optimistic (Preview) My husband told me yesterday that he wants to "dry out". He has done this before on his own. From what I have read and learned through my research it is very rare that an alcoholic can quit and never go back to the booze without some form of counseling. However, he will not go at this time. So...	almostgivenup	7	563	Aug 21, 2012 by peacewithin
	Worried About My Safety (Preview) Today, started out with the AH leaving me a message that he was at work so I was welcome to come hang out at the house for a while. I called back to tell him thanks for being so kind as to invite me to my own home and he started in with the victim attitude again. How it was my choice to leave and he has asked me ove...	WornOutMrsFixIt	4	573	Aug 21, 2012 by Mattie
	My husband is about to come home from rehab...I'm worried! (Preview) Where to start? My husband finally decided to go thru a 35 day rehab. After 3 solid years of drinking and trying to stop....he was what you call a functional drunk. He worked and never made it into work late or didnt call in sick (at first). He started with beer every night after work...then graduated to...	regp	7	5911	Aug 21, 2012 by regp
	Cheating #$%^&*! (Preview) After all these years of dealing with a challenging marriage with AH and two young children, I am just done, done, done. Now the jerk has cheated on me and is still lying through his teeth trying to cover it up. I have good proof this time--I feel like I have to, otherwise he will just lie and manipulate as m...	Minaret	10	772	Aug 21, 2012 by Sandi49Austin
	Tiny sliver of light peeking through the darkness... (Preview) I think I may be getting better. I'm just beginning to have the slightest bit of hope. For so long I've been trying to fight my way out of this darkness, but a sick mind cannot heal a sick mind. Really, this site has helped so much. I've also gotten a sponsor from my f2f meeting and am talking with her.....	suebama	4	460	Aug 21, 2012 by Sandi49Austin
	Parents enabling A brother? enabling (Preview) My brother has been in inpatient treatment, left AA because of philosophical differences, said he was working on his alcoholism his own way, and recently got fired from his job for his drinking. My parents are providing him money for health insurance and even talking about giving him a place to live...	glow	7	9699	Aug 21, 2012 by Elsie
	Need someone to talk to.... (Preview) My A wont respond to me, and I know he's with his friend who influences him to drink the most... I know there's nothing to do I just need someone to talk to....	fallingdown	20	2287	Aug 21, 2012 by jennfire
	Feeling so out of control (Preview) This episode started 2-3wks. ago, my 17y.o. grandson told me he was moving 41/2 miles away with his step dad and his 7y.o. sis. For a moment I got involved, expressing my feelings against it, but realized it was none of my business, but I went into the fear mode, a large city, gangs, HS dropout etc. A f...	Highlyfavored	1	500	Aug 21, 2012 by Bettina
	New to this (Preview) Im new to this! Finally had a break down this year. My husband drinks every day 3 or 4 drinks of which I see. His job is as a head brewer for an ale company. He as only had this job for about 6 months. I questioned why he would come home with the smell of alcahol on his breath. He said he has to check the brew in prog...	Rosie77	9	543	Aug 21, 2012 by JJ21
	convention (Preview) Hi all, I went to the liverpool (in England)AA convention yesterday. I love it I have so many friends in al anon and AA , I love it when we all come together. there were not many Al anon members whcih is a shame seems to be same old faces at conventions (so members just like comfort of their groups) There wer...	Tracy	1	342	Aug 20, 2012 by david62
	Letting go of control/or the idea of being in control (Preview) I've posted before and I've been to a few F2F meetings. I'm trying to use the tools I'm learning but it seems that things are getting worse vs better. I used to try and control when he drinks and how much. I used to threaten to leave if he came home drinking but I never did, at least not for long. It seemed that...	Hope2000	7	781	Aug 20, 2012 by Hope2000
	Sometimes the program sneaks up on me (Preview) An acquaintance was telling a story about how other drivers have been trying to race her and her new car constantly and explained how she outmaneuvered this particular driver who tried to pass her. As I was listening I had an experience of actually feeling my uneasy emotional reaction which consiste...	Jennifer	5	452	Aug 20, 2012 by 1911A1
	Off topic question (Preview) Does anyone believe in this stuff? I am curious your thoughts on it. I kind of believe it but it also freaked me out a bit too. The link is below http://thecarolblog.com/energetic-events-emotions/	daisy31	2	451	Aug 20, 2012 by PP
	here i go again (Preview) here i am up at 3am and missing my a and his company we both always got up around this time,i know he is missing it to,here i go agin ,harder this time being without him,but i do know i can do this,it wont be easy but it will be worth it in the long run,i do know that just have to keep thinking of all the negs he put i...	silent	2	344	Aug 20, 2012 by Tracy
	update on a moveing out (Preview) i finally told him he had to move out in a nice tone of voice,he didnt want to go but excepted it and packed his things nicely ,he wants us to still be boyfreind and girlfreind,i said o.k.,we would still talk and go out.soooo i got what i wanted (my space back),along with my peace of mind and serenity back,i...	silent	8	502	Aug 20, 2012 by Jerry F
	Brand New Here (Preview) Hello - I'm brand new here and I just wanted to say hello :) I've been searching around and I really like a lot of what I have read and I look forward to reading more and learning. I am fairly new to Alanon ( just finished a 90 in 90) I have known of the program for years but never really immersed myself in it lik...	She-ra	6	437	Aug 20, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Questioning how Alanon works/helps for the person not in the relationship any longer (Preview) I have attended two F2F meetings and in both the people were trying to stay in their marriage or they were parents of alcoholic children. I felt a little out of place since I am no longer in my relationship and looking to move forward. I am hurt that alcohol caused this and I get that I can't change it and f...	JJ21	8	664	Aug 19, 2012 by JJ21
	My Blood Is Boiling (Preview) I am sitting here surrounded in bills trying to juggle how to pay them and noticed that the ONE that I asked my husband to pay last month didn't get paid and now we owe for two months. I also realized that he went from making close to six figures to making @$20,000 last year. He had conveniently filed for a...	WornOutMrsFixIt	10	772	Aug 19, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	A visit from the addict (Preview) Hopefully a brief one. In my mind, I have my wonderful loving husband whom I adore, and his evil twin... the addict.. who comes homes in his place every now and then. Last night, the addict came to visit, but as he hadn't been here for a while, he was on his best behaviour. I came home to a stoned husband. Th...	Oksie	5	513	Aug 19, 2012 by Pushka
	Any rehab success stories? (Preview) The more I listen to people and read stories, the more I wonder if it is possible for alcoholics to recover? I think I know of one happy ending and it scares me. I know that my happiness is my responsibility but I am really worried that rehab doesn't seem to have a very good success rate for the alcoholics.....	Kismet	8	663	Aug 19, 2012 by pineapple
	Changing it (Preview) You know how we say we can choose how we react to something? I was tortured by the past losses almost every day. A very wise woman showed me some scriptures that said we are to be in the present and look ahead! Wow hmmm. So for awhile now if those creepy past things come into my head I stop it and say I am here now...	Debilyn	2	430	Aug 19, 2012 by pineapple
	HP has found a way to keep me going to my Alanon meetings (Preview) As I have told you before my oldest A son has just celebrated his 1st AA anniversary. I am so grateful for that. He and I attend our meetings on Saturday evenings as much as possible. He goes upstains...I go downstairs I have always known my younger son had a problem. I have even labeled him an A the last co...	Gailey	1	1916	Aug 18, 2012 by Mattie
	New to forum (Preview) Hi everyone I just decided to join the boards sometime it's hard to get to meetings.my husband of 28 years had 19 years sobriety when he slipped it has been a fast decline I've been in alanon for 1 year and just trying to get my head together I'm having such a hard time of detaching. My fear just keeps my mind...	Pipper	6	542	Aug 18, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Sweet dream or nightmare (Preview) I dreamed last night that my ex AH came to me and told me how much he missed me and begged me back. It was a warm and delicious dream, almost like a romance novel. When I woke up and realized it was just a dream, I almost sank into despair immediately. However, I asked myself if I was going to let a stupid dre...	suebama	7	486	Aug 18, 2012 by likemyheart
	Thanks/To RLC (Preview) I'm feeling a little sentimental tonight. Things are finally looking up for me. My A is planning to go back to the U.S. to live, has a flight booked at the end of the month. This has me on a roller coaster of emotions-happy, sad, hurt, glad. But overall I know it's the best thing for both of us. I'm finally ab...	pineapple	7	474	Aug 18, 2012 by GailMichelle
	Dealing with family (Preview) How do you successfully have a relationship with a dysfunctional family (parents/siblings)? I want to have a relationship with them but they seem to want to enmesh with me. I have gotten really healthy from creating time and distance and I have gotten pretty strong by keeping my distance. Now th...	daisy31	2	428	Aug 18, 2012 by abbyal
	What do you guys think of this? (Preview) I know this is academic and I didn't write it - it's not alanon but actually I think some of the ideas from Alanon and ACOA shaped this form of marital/relationship therapy. Again, there have been many posts about how futile therapy is with an active alcoholic, but this does offer some insight into why...	pinkchip	7	649	Aug 17, 2012 by Debilyn
	Nervous breakdown (Preview) I don't know how to cope any more. The stress of getting my husband to rehab and the years of the rollercoaster that comes with living with my AH have shattered me. Now that he is away and I am here trying to run my business and look after my two kids who are 1 and 3. The youngest is teething so I get no sleep at ni...	Kismet	8	755	Aug 17, 2012 by Kismet
	Here we go again (Preview) My AH began drinking again 9 weeks ago after one year of, well, dry-drunking. We separated a few months ago, and began reconciling after a couple of months, though he's not back home yet. He is now saying he isn't an alcoholic, that I have caused him to treat me badly (he said he's not an abuser typicall...	KLotus	8	517	Aug 17, 2012 by nana1970
	If you've been thru alcoholism you can... (Preview) take a tooth pulling...LOL (((MIP))). It's true...there is "some" pain; it's located only in one small spot; once the tooth is gone the cause of the pain is gone and I remind myself the pain is very temporary whereas alcoholism just seems to go on forever. The dental people are all sooo...	Jerry F	9	555	Aug 17, 2012 by Country Boy
	No Ultimatums (Preview) I was reading another post about ultimatums & it got me thinking, I have never given AW an ultimatum. I have never said "if you don't stop drinking I'll ........." If you get drunk at the party I'll.........". Of course I would lecture her after it happened as any good codependent...	Country Boy	17	1019	Aug 17, 2012 by All I can be
	My baby girl and I had a talk (Preview) Sometimes I wish she wasn't so darned dramatic! We talked last night over cookies and milk. I just wanted to make sure she understood what happened to her was wrong. So, I asked her if she remembered the conversation and she did and basically told me the whole thing all over again with all kinds of drama a...	Amandakay	8	714	Aug 17, 2012 by Amandakay
	Feeling lost, alone, and I don't know what to do! (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. I moved from San Diego to rural Nebraska five years ago; the first year was good, then it all went downhill once I realized my then boyfriend/now husband had a drinking problem. I used to go out with him and drink, even get drunk. Then I moved in with him, and going out became...	Frogonmytoe	9	562	Aug 17, 2012 by Frogonmytoe
	working it (Preview) I will try to cut this long story short..... Some background required knowledge: Paying for an overseas trip so have no spare money at present. Husband who is atrocious at organising thingsMy husbands brothers funeral to pay for and he wants to give $1000 and I say its too much, but how can ya argue wi...	Oksie	2	491	Aug 17, 2012 by Jackie11
	Jealousy (Preview) I wish I could overcome my feelings of jealousy, they seem so silly. Truth is, I wouldn't have him back with a COLLOSAL dowry! But every time I think of my ex "sober" husband (sorry, haven't learned to abbreviate like SOU) with his girlfriend or with our kids or with his girlfriend and our...	suebama	8	936	Aug 17, 2012 by JJ21
	Dealing with my AD (Preview) Now that my AH has moved back to live with her AFather (she was living out of state for the last 18 months), I am really struggling with setting boundaries with her. On the advice on my sponsor, last night I went to my first Al-Anon meeting specifically for parents. I've been in Al-Anon for over 3 years, bu...	Green Eyes	3	425	Aug 17, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	In all our affairs... (Preview) While things have improved dramatically at home, I am currently struggling with a very unsatisfying work life at the moment. I came to the realization years ago that my career is not really something that I enjoy and not something that I was put on this earth to do. But, I'm 20 years in and as much as I disl...	usedtobeanyer	4	722	Aug 17, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	(Newbie to site)How supportive should I be when he quits again? (Preview) My husband over the last year has quit drining, but never said forever or surrendered.....months of no drinking, then drinks and ends up being ugly for our marriage. This time he has told me he knows he can never drink again. I know the importance of support during recovery, but I am reluctant. Why s...	jennfire	7	521	Aug 17, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Feeling very done, is there hope for restoration? (Preview) Hi everyone! Yesterday I met with my therapist and she confronted me about how I don't cry about what's going on in my marriage. She asked me why I don't cry and I pretty much told her that crying doesn't get me anywhere except left with a HUGE headache, achy eyes, and a sore nose. Also, it never goes well...	ilovedogs	20	724	Aug 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	been there, done that... (Preview) Hi! I was here several years ago when I was married to an A who was also a cocaine addict. Looong story short... I left him and divorced him and have completely moved forward in my life. I met someone new and have a fantastic relationship with him and we're planning to get married sometime next year. My...	artygirl	4	426	Aug 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	Am I abandoning him? (Preview) So, things have been really terrible for the last 3 months. My AH's brother committed suicide in May. This is a horrible tradgedy and on top of it, he and my husband didn't have a great relationship. My AH is racked with guilt because he thinks he could have done somthing to prevent it. He is in a deep...	almostgivenup	12	757	Aug 17, 2012 by almostgivenup
	My mother is gone (Preview) This is my first time on this board and I will be attending my first Al-Anon meeting next week. The roller coaster of the last 5 years has reached new heights when it comes to my parents, especially my mother. Both my parents are alcoholics, but my dad stopped drinking 12 years ago and has been sober and c...	CassieCKA	4	487	Aug 17, 2012 by orchidlover
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.