Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hello, my name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I am 28 years old and have been a member for 2.5 years. I would like to share on my life experiences with the women in my life and alcoholism has affected my perception. I grew up in a home where my father was the alcoholic. My mom developed sc...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I have not been on here in quite a while. It's been tough to come back to the board since my mentor passed away and he meant a lot to me and always made me see what was right in front of my face. Also he always made me realize that I was to take care of myself first. Well he's gone now but his lessons live on. But st...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Today was the first day of kindergarten for our oldest. My wife and I and our 3 year old took her to the bus stop and spent some time with the other parents waiting for the bus. My daughter was very excited and smiling and happy and before we knew it, she was on the bus and gone. All day, I have felt extremely em...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Just got in an arguement with AH when I went home for lunch. He's currently out of work (still).... He told me as a threat before I left... "Guess I'll be going to the store today"... ie beer run. He's been sober for quite some time. Long story short I spoke to him once while he was at the sto...

silent · silent

i drove over by where he is liveing while he was at work,and his freind told me that my a was back to work and that he told him that he "my a" was gonna mess around and lose his job and truck ,my a told him yes he knew that.so for now i guess im safe with the truck,it worries me though that he might end up...

katfshh · katfshh

Hi Everyone! I have been gone for a few weeks. We went on vacation and had a wondeful time on the cruise. My son (13) was in heaven. We wound up going with some friends, so my son had a buddy. It was a 7 day cruise, Mexican Rivera. It was orignially going to be my honeymoon with the ex. When I got back I have bee...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I think I said it alll in the subject heading. I have a lot of anxiety today. But if I look ahead to the possibilties I might actually have a good day. I have almost constant scalp itch. It went away but is definitely back! I use a solution that is strictly for the scalp. I use it every night before bedtime. It...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

I decided to get creative LOL. I am making some tomato vegtable sausage soup! Smells so good! Only thing I just wished I had not run out of rice :) What is everyone planning for supper tonight? -- Edited by InspiredPhotography on Thursday 6th of September 2012 04:07:58 PM

Stevie · Stevie

Hi. It's good to find a place to talk to people who are living with an alcoholic loved one. I've been married to my husband for 13 yrs and I was aware that he drank but unaware of the extent of his addiction. I have tried (unsuccessfully) to help my husband by encouraging him to go to therapy, by going to coup...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I'm so hurt and angry with my a/a daughter, her 7y.o. daughter has been living with her dad for almost 2yrs. now because she was to lazy to get up and take her to school. 2 wks ago she let her 17y.o. go live with them (step-father) 4 1/2hrs. away. He wanted to go, and has a good relationship with his step-fa...

Hopeful06 · Hopeful06

So finally, after 2 years of off and on again with my ABF, I've ended things. I've done it so many times before, however this time feels different to me. I'm ready to fight for my sanity, to not get swept up in the dysfunction of trying to make him feel better about himself in the midst of seriously destruct...

gr8tful01 · gr8tful01

A couple of weeks ago I approached my AH with separating. It was a decision I had wrestled with for years. I felt so at peace and calm just like you said I felt my HP was right there walking hand and hand with me. The problem I have is the guilt when he calls/texts/or I see him and he tells me how much he miss...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Hi, I'm Dolly and I am married to an alcoholic. I've been going to face to face meetings sporadically for a few years now and have recently stepped up to more regular attendance, as I find myself feeling so lifted by the grace of Al Anon. My AH is highly functioning and the binge drinking type, but the per...

Inuyami · Inuyami

Hello again everybody. As some of you have read I left my AH on monday afternoon during a horrible fight over what he though I was thinking about him. An AH with anxiety problems is terribly hard to keep up with and sometimes I don't even know why he's picking a fight. BUT I digress. The reason I wan...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am going to school full time, working 3 day weekends and have 2 kids for all those who don't know my story. I have a new boy friend and I am all over the place emotionally, I atleast do not feel addicted to him. I still at times feel addicted to my exAH who emails me like crazy and I asked him repeatedly to stop...

Gingerbread81 · Gingerbread81

Hello, I've been reading posts here for some time and finally decided to post myself. I have been dating an alcoholic for about 5.5 years on and off and it has been total chaos- I kick him out he acts okay for a few weeks/maybe months and then the lies, ditches me, and stops working again. When I met him,...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... My Day started again at 4:45 AM and Off & Running with My Momma to the Doctors... And because we have been doing this Pretty Much All Week, the Results are Slowly Trickling back in! And today was one of those Low Blow Kinda Days! I Love My Cody-Mom Very Much, and Sometimes she is Like Speaking t...

so_tired · so_tired

I am leaving my AH. He has promised to get help & never does. He just makes promises so I won't leave. We have two small children (2 & 3 years old). I can't let them keep seeing alcohol being abused this way. My grandmother, grandfather, & both aunts were alcoholics. I can't risk it for their f...

JD · JD

Hello, This is the first time I have used this forum (or any for that matter) and am just looking for some advice. I am married to a currently sober alcoholic. We have been together for nearly 5 years, married for 2 and have 2 beautiful children. For the first years of our relationship my husband drang he...

goldie7108 · goldie7108

Hi all, this is my first post. I am new-ish to al-anon and am very grateful. However, being new means I don't have a lot of answers. I am starting to learn about detachment and "live and let live". This is so freeing to me, but I do not know when and how much it applies in my home life. My husband is a...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I am ready to move on. After the suicide attempt last week, my AH is in 30 day treatment program. I know it is time to tell him we can't live under the same roof anymore. Does anyone have any advice on how you expressed this to your A in the most healthy way possible. I don't want to trudge out my laundry list of...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

So I was prepared to have nice relaxing evening. Yes A was pissed I wouldn't allow his A friend to come A and drink in our home. So he left in mad rage to go see him 30 minutes away. Only 20 minutes later he walks back in the door. Tells me on and on that's it's our damn house and if he wants his friends over (they c...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

AH went back to a meeting last night after missing several weeks and relapsing. When he got home he was very open about his feelings and the "whys" and "what fors". I just listened. He told me he realized something yesterday. He's in an authority position being the bosses son. He...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I think I am having my first panic attack. The more I read about Florida divorce laws the more I am freaking out. The laws here are very unfriendly, no fault state. I am reading horror stories about people having to pay lifetime alimony - lifetime!! I admit I am panicking and I know this is premature but my...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

This is part of my reply from on one of my earlier posts... ..."Luckily he hadn't been drinking yesterday, he was in bed all day. After I got there with the kids he got up to say hi and back to bed he went and only got up to eat, not interacting with his kids at all. I had to work this morning and he got up to a...

debhud · debhud

hi everyone, i feel so alone. there is no intimacy in my marriage. husband is 2 years sober and active in aa. i am involved in alanon. i cannot figure out how to put the spark back into my marriage. we rarely touch, hug or kiss. sex once a year (and not very fulfilling) we live together like best fri...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Today is my birthday, no flowers, no parties, my gift was my AH trying to kill himself Tuesday, now he is tucked away in 30 day program, as usual the world is taking care of him. Who takes care of me? I went to the lawyer yesterday, he said that this is a long process, but ultimately my AH will not only get alim...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

Hi everyone. I am feeling alittle down. I miss my girls so much. They are both back to school. Not only that I have been experiencing dizzy spells, at times I actually forget things. Like things I wouldn't. Which really has been scaring me. I am only 32 years old. Sense of familiarity seems to be distorte...

Steveareeno · Steveareeno

My wife just completed a 30 day inpatient treatment program. Before she went in our mariiage was disasterous. Infidelity (multiple times), drunk to the point of blacking out multiple time per week, frighteneing behavior when drinking, multiple attempts at suicide that came via text messages whi...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Guys, I recently took the step of getting a sponsor. It's a step that I feel is imporant in recovery. I asked them about 3 weeks ago after I had spoken at an open meeting and they agreed. I saw them at a meeting about 2 weeks later and he asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I agreed. I shared so much about my lif...

jitsuka · jitsuka

I'm stressed out. And probably starting to get depressed. I've not progressed enough on my PhD to pass the first year and will write up what I've done for the past year as an MPhil, still a good qualification. I've been given 3 months money from the university to do this. Its been a massive shock I left a g...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

Why do I feel guilty? He's been in bed for 4 days so my son and I decide to go see a movie and go eat this afternoon. I asked AH if he wanted to go and he said no. So I am gone 20 minutes and he is calling trying to make me feel bad about leaving him alone. Why didn't I go get him some lunch and bring back to him before I w...

silent · silent

my a b/f came over to visit labor day drunk as a mop,i told him no that i wouldnt couldnt have a sexual relationship with him any more he got offensive of course and i told him that he was sooo drunk he used that as an excuse to leave and take what few other things he had left here with him,so ok,he lost his cell p...

callmemara · callmemara

Once he spends his whole paycheck, he starts pawning things and even panhandling to get money for alcohol. Yes, there is always money for drinks. ALWAYS! even if there is no money for rent. GRRR. I was expectingi t to be raining/storming big time when I woke up this morning but it wasn't. It's overcast a...

Ness · Ness

Hi my MIP family. I'm finding it tough these last few months but reading here keeps me supported. My husband's illness has kept him debilitated all summer, Im distressed at how diminished my big strong handsome guy has become..he goes for a heart procedure next week. The grief of our loss (death of our...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

We had a tradtion eight meeting at my home group this week. I have always liked this tradition and it's statement of Alanon as a program of equals. I'm not sure I would have kept coming back if people in Alanon meetings had exerted themselves as authorities of physical health, mental health, finance...

mehere80 · mehere80

Just need to get this out. Not sure why but I can't seem to find the voice or the words to say what I'm really feeling to my sponsor, or during group. It feels like I'm screaming but nothing is coming out. A very lonely place. Feeling very desperate and this is a way I know I can reach out, other than this I li...

Inuyami · Inuyami

As anyone who read the post i created yesterday knows; I am a non-drinker married to an 'AH' as this site calls it. Yesterday we had a very large fight and he placed hands on me. Fed up, angry and scared; I grabbed everything that belonged to me and moved back into my old room at my parents house. Today I a...

holivex · holivex

My AH has stolen from me. Run up huge debts. Driven intoxicated with my children many times. Been fired from his last three jobs. Been to detox, then immediately started drinking again. Been back to detox. Is now out for the second time and he's a dry drunk. Not drinking, but still behaving like...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

So today I ended up in chat. I had not felt well all day. Probably stress related. Well Grammie got me talking about my girls. Felt pretty proud. They are amazing children. I can go on and on about them. They are so sensitive, sweet, kind, courageous, caring and very communicative. They make my reason fo...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm reading posts and slowly things are starting to sink in .. lol .. I'm a slow learner, hard headed as all get out and a fast forgetter as I've heard told and I def fall into that catagory. The sharing stuff is really really hard. How to put that focus on me and not be focused on the A in my life. I'm real...

Kismet · Kismet

My AH has been in rehab for 30 days today and my life has been a rollercoaster. Some days I am happy and I cope fine but others, like today, I am raging. And I cannot control it. My dogs are cowering in their kennels. Everything my children do sends me over the edge. I am so angry at everything and I don't reall...

IWannaFly · IWannaFly

It's going on 2 months of complete craziness with X-ABF. Starting on July 4th when he put the gun to his head. A lot more horrible things have happened since that day. After living together for 6 yrs I asked him to leave. I literally thought I was losing my mind and I had to separate, BUT it still feels like y...

Jill · Jill

I'm going to Paris soon. I'm excited. I love it there. For reasons I now question, I haven't been there in over 30 years. Can it really be that long? Dang! Since my teen yearsyears I've had a recurring dream that a trip to Paris has become available to me suddenly (LOL). I'm so thrilled -- and then somethin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so aware of how some holiday weekends are but this one took the cake! I see so much excessive drinking in my present home town that it is actually sad. Not everyone is an alcoholic but they sure try to be. In my hometown, we celebrate like none other. I am so glad that even though it is fun, I am glad it is ov...

jaybirdsmother · jaybirdsmother

I just found this site and felt a need to post my story. I am in such pain. I am having a hard time digging myself out of this deep dark hole of despair. My son died aug 3 of an overdose or so I think. Autosepsy will not come back for another 2 months. His father and I have been dealing with his addiction to prescr...

peacewithin · peacewithin

My AH quit for almost 2 months now. I don't know what made him quit drinking but this year I really detached and started being happy. I just turned 50 was not going to live like I have, sad, depresses, angry about life all the time so on my weekends off I planned something went away stayed at a hotel with my mo...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Yes, my life has changed a lot over 4 years. I can be at parties with alcohol. I can even have parties with alcohol being served. Thankfully most of our friends don't drink much. Yesterday, 2 people got wasted drunk at our party. 1 of them worse than the other. I had to go of into the bedroom to regrou...

Anxioussockmonkey · Anxioussockmonkey

Mom, This is a difficult email to write. I remember finding you passed out several times during my childhood. Once you were on the couch and for a moment I thought you were dead. I checked to see if you were breathing and after deciding you were alive I curled up at your feet and cried. I remember walkin...

Inuyami · Inuyami

Hello everyone, I have just joined this forum because I'm getting to my wits ends with my husband and his alcoholism. We've been married for a year now and together for three and a half. I knew about his drinking before we even began to date but had no idea how bad it was until much later in our relations...

MadMax · MadMax

My sister's coming home from rehab on Tuesday after only a week. A WEEK! After three years of spending more time drunk than sober and with drinking so much a part of her routine, what the hell good is a week in rehab going to do? I fully expected her to start drinking as soon as she came home but I thought my ni...

Neesabean · Neesabean

I just don't know what I should or should'nt be doing. My A son stays in his room for days on end. I know he is depressed. I know he is an addict/alcoholic and needs help. I know I'm enabling him allowing him to live here, he is 26, doesn't work because of all the "side effects" of alcohol and d...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

My AH is on day 3 of his inpatient treatment center. On day two he called me saying he couldn't wait to get home and be the best husband ever and he was really enjoying the program. He kept going on and on and when I suggested he needed to work on himself and not worry about me or our marriage he went right back t...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Could really use some thoughts...quick...husband is the alc, married 13 years. Sex life sucks...to me its just one more obligation ...to him its the world...aint that the way ladies. Hes had one affair...ive tried to move on..hes an active alc ... I try to cope....hes out 2_3times a week....to me, s...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Wondering today what have I actually accomplished. I left my relapsing AH who had actually done very little sobriety in the past year that things have really been bad. He has always drank too much (hidden much more than I even knew) and really went off the rails about 3 years ago. He has severe withdrawl...

LadyBug · LadyBug

BoundariesThis is one issue that I have always suffered with. I was not taught to develop these boundaries so growing up I had none. Now the people around me get uncomfortable when I establish them. For an example o have been fighting with my girlfriend for the last couple of days over the fact that I d...

Theemettaart · Theemettaart

Hi everyone, A few day's ago my sis (who's account i am using now) posted a message about my dad who is really ill. But now my mom has gone crazy. She started calling me (really drunk) to tell me i needed to come over and stay the night with her in bed (yes the bed my dad almost died in) i refused. Now she is real...

Anxioussockmonkey · Anxioussockmonkey

Ok, new 1st post. I'm 33. Grew up with alcoholic mother. I've been trying to break the cycle. I have been to therapy. I'm happily married and have three small children. I've never gotten into Al-non but I want desperately to understand and be able to cope with this problem. I want my children to have wha...

lisann09 · lisann09

I'm new to the forum. I am reaching out for some kind of help. I have a daughter that is an addict and can be better at times. She continues to practice bad behavior and live a high risk life style with the people she choices to be around. I have drawn boundaries and am doing best I can with staying postitive....

Anxioussockmonkey · Anxioussockmonkey

I've been searching the Internet reading posts. I think I'm starting to understand. I never could get why as the victim I needed to do a 12 step program. I feel like I'm just beginning to realize the brainwashing. I've got to keep my priorities straight. Protect my children from my mom's chaos. I've spe...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Changing my view of women (Preview) Hello, my name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I am 28 years old and have been a member for 2.5 years. I would like to share on my life experiences with the women in my life and alcoholism has affected my perception. I grew up in a home where my father was the alcoholic. My mom developed sc...	slogan_jim	10	587	Sep 8, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Feeling so lonely!! (Preview) I have not been on here in quite a while. It's been tough to come back to the board since my mentor passed away and he meant a lot to me and always made me see what was right in front of my face. Also he always made me realize that I was to take care of myself first. Well he's gone now but his lessons live on. But st...	wildthang86	4	578	Sep 8, 2012 by wildthang86
	First day of school (Preview) Today was the first day of kindergarten for our oldest. My wife and I and our 3 year old took her to the bus stop and spent some time with the other parents waiting for the bus. My daughter was very excited and smiling and happy and before we knew it, she was on the bus and gone. All day, I have felt extremely em...	usedtobeanyer	6	600	Sep 8, 2012 by glad lee
	Talk me off the edge... (Preview) Just got in an arguement with AH when I went home for lunch. He's currently out of work (still).... He told me as a threat before I left... "Guess I'll be going to the store today"... ie beer run. He's been sober for quite some time. Long story short I spoke to him once while he was at the sto...	ELEKTRAWMN	5	576	Sep 8, 2012 by nmike
	so far so good"update" (Preview) i drove over by where he is liveing while he was at work,and his freind told me that my a was back to work and that he told him that he "my a" was gonna mess around and lose his job and truck ,my a told him yes he knew that.so for now i guess im safe with the truck,it worries me though that he might end up...	silent	2	386	Sep 8, 2012 by Mattie
	I'm back.. Crazy stuff (Preview) Hi Everyone! I have been gone for a few weeks. We went on vacation and had a wondeful time on the cruise. My son (13) was in heaven. We wound up going with some friends, so my son had a buddy. It was a 7 day cruise, Mexican Rivera. It was orignially going to be my honeymoon with the ex. When I got back I have bee...	katfshh	12	553	Sep 8, 2012 by katfshh
	looking ahead not behind; staying in the moment but nervous & anxious! (Preview) I think I said it alll in the subject heading. I have a lot of anxiety today. But if I look ahead to the possibilties I might actually have a good day. I have almost constant scalp itch. It went away but is definitely back! I use a solution that is strictly for the scalp. I use it every night before bedtime. It...	Hoot Nanny	3	456	Sep 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	What is everyone having for supper? (Preview) I decided to get creative LOL. I am making some tomato vegtable sausage soup! Smells so good! Only thing I just wished I had not run out of rice :) What is everyone planning for supper tonight? -- Edited by InspiredPhotography on Thursday 6th of September 2012 04:07:58 PM	InspiredPhotography	13	536	Sep 8, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	New to this but a long time dealing with AH alone (Preview) Hi. It's good to find a place to talk to people who are living with an alcoholic loved one. I've been married to my husband for 13 yrs and I was aware that he drank but unaware of the extent of his addiction. I have tried (unsuccessfully) to help my husband by encouraging him to go to therapy, by going to coup...	Stevie	13	582	Sep 7, 2012 by Freja
	Praying for compassion for daugter! (Preview) I'm so hurt and angry with my a/a daughter, her 7y.o. daughter has been living with her dad for almost 2yrs. now because she was to lazy to get up and take her to school. 2 wks ago she let her 17y.o. go live with them (step-father) 4 1/2hrs. away. He wanted to go, and has a good relationship with his step-fa...	Highlyfavored	3	468	Sep 7, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	I've finally left my alcoholic boyfriend (Preview) So finally, after 2 years of off and on again with my ABF, I've ended things. I've done it so many times before, however this time feels different to me. I'm ready to fight for my sanity, to not get swept up in the dysfunction of trying to make him feel better about himself in the midst of seriously destruct...	Hopeful06	5	2995	Sep 7, 2012 by Hopeful06
	Decision to separate and the calm that followed (Preview) A couple of weeks ago I approached my AH with separating. It was a decision I had wrestled with for years. I felt so at peace and calm just like you said I felt my HP was right there walking hand and hand with me. The problem I have is the guilt when he calls/texts/or I see him and he tells me how much he miss...	gr8tful01	1	449	Sep 7, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Decision to divorce, and the calm that followed (Preview) Hi, I'm Dolly and I am married to an alcoholic. I've been going to face to face meetings sporadically for a few years now and have recently stepped up to more regular attendance, as I find myself feeling so lifted by the grace of Al Anon. My AH is highly functioning and the binge drinking type, but the per...	Dolly Llama	9	605	Sep 7, 2012 by gr8tful01
	Sick since I left (Preview) Hello again everybody. As some of you have read I left my AH on monday afternoon during a horrible fight over what he though I was thinking about him. An AH with anxiety problems is terribly hard to keep up with and sometimes I don't even know why he's picking a fight. BUT I digress. The reason I wan...	Inuyami	7	560	Sep 7, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	My disease (Preview) I am going to school full time, working 3 day weekends and have 2 kids for all those who don't know my story. I have a new boy friend and I am all over the place emotionally, I atleast do not feel addicted to him. I still at times feel addicted to my exAH who emails me like crazy and I asked him repeatedly to stop...	Breakingfree	5	771	Sep 7, 2012 by Jerry F
	New Here (Preview) Hello, I've been reading posts here for some time and finally decided to post myself. I have been dating an alcoholic for about 5.5 years on and off and it has been total chaos- I kick him out he acts okay for a few weeks/maybe months and then the lies, ditches me, and stops working again. When I met him,...	Gingerbread81	5	558	Sep 7, 2012 by Diva
	Today A Little Tougher (Preview) Welp... My Day started again at 4:45 AM and Off & Running with My Momma to the Doctors... And because we have been doing this Pretty Much All Week, the Results are Slowly Trickling back in! And today was one of those Low Blow Kinda Days! I Love My Cody-Mom Very Much, and Sometimes she is Like Speaking t...	Jozie	2	525	Sep 7, 2012 by Jerry F
	I am leaving my AH. (Preview) I am leaving my AH. He has promised to get help & never does. He just makes promises so I won't leave. We have two small children (2 & 3 years old). I can't let them keep seeing alcohol being abused this way. My grandmother, grandfather, & both aunts were alcoholics. I can't risk it for their f...	so_tired	11	696	Sep 7, 2012 by Diva
	Punching Bag (Preview) Hello, This is the first time I have used this forum (or any for that matter) and am just looking for some advice. I am married to a currently sober alcoholic. We have been together for nearly 5 years, married for 2 and have 2 beautiful children. For the first years of our relationship my husband drang he...	JD	14	801	Sep 7, 2012 by Diva
	How much should I interfere? (Preview) Hi all, this is my first post. I am new-ish to al-anon and am very grateful. However, being new means I don't have a lot of answers. I am starting to learn about detachment and "live and let live". This is so freeing to me, but I do not know when and how much it applies in my home life. My husband is a...	goldie7108	6	670	Sep 6, 2012 by Diva
	What Words Did You Use to Tell Them It's Over (Preview) I am ready to move on. After the suicide attempt last week, my AH is in 30 day treatment program. I know it is time to tell him we can't live under the same roof anymore. Does anyone have any advice on how you expressed this to your A in the most healthy way possible. I don't want to trudge out my laundry list of...	TrudyS85	12	678	Sep 7, 2012 by Diva
	My Night (Preview) So I was prepared to have nice relaxing evening. Yes A was pissed I wouldn't allow his A friend to come A and drink in our home. So he left in mad rage to go see him 30 minutes away. Only 20 minutes later he walks back in the door. Tells me on and on that's it's our damn house and if he wants his friends over (they c...	InspiredPhotography	9	556	Sep 7, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Opening up (Preview) AH went back to a meeting last night after missing several weeks and relapsing. When he got home he was very open about his feelings and the "whys" and "what fors". I just listened. He told me he realized something yesterday. He's in an authority position being the bosses son. He...	JAMIE74	4	562	Sep 7, 2012 by pinkchip
	Panic Attack (Preview) I think I am having my first panic attack. The more I read about Florida divorce laws the more I am freaking out. The laws here are very unfriendly, no fault state. I am reading horror stories about people having to pay lifetime alimony - lifetime!! I admit I am panicking and I know this is premature but my...	TrudyS85	2	425	Sep 6, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Hoping for a good day...so much for that (Preview) This is part of my reply from on one of my earlier posts... ..."Luckily he hadn't been drinking yesterday, he was in bed all day. After I got there with the kids he got up to say hi and back to bed he went and only got up to eat, not interacting with his kids at all. I had to work this morning and he got up to a...	JAMIE74	5	570	Sep 6, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	sober husband yet i am lonely... (Preview) hi everyone, i feel so alone. there is no intimacy in my marriage. husband is 2 years sober and active in aa. i am involved in alanon. i cannot figure out how to put the spark back into my marriage. we rarely touch, hug or kiss. sex once a year (and not very fulfilling) we live together like best fri...	debhud	7	916	Sep 6, 2012 by Samagi
	Today Is My Birthday - Life Sucks (Preview) Today is my birthday, no flowers, no parties, my gift was my AH trying to kill himself Tuesday, now he is tucked away in 30 day program, as usual the world is taking care of him. Who takes care of me? I went to the lawyer yesterday, he said that this is a long process, but ultimately my AH will not only get alim...	TrudyS85	13	809	Sep 6, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Just about Me (Preview) Hi everyone. I am feeling alittle down. I miss my girls so much. They are both back to school. Not only that I have been experiencing dizzy spells, at times I actually forget things. Like things I wouldn't. Which really has been scaring me. I am only 32 years old. Sense of familiarity seems to be distorte...	InspiredPhotography	3	431	Sep 6, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	general questions from someone just starting out (Preview) My wife just completed a 30 day inpatient treatment program. Before she went in our mariiage was disasterous. Infidelity (multiple times), drunk to the point of blacking out multiple time per week, frighteneing behavior when drinking, multiple attempts at suicide that came via text messages whi...	Steveareeno	7	600	Sep 6, 2012 by Steveareeno
	How often do you call your sponsor? (Preview) Hey Guys, I recently took the step of getting a sponsor. It's a step that I feel is imporant in recovery. I asked them about 3 weeks ago after I had spoken at an open meeting and they agreed. I saw them at a meeting about 2 weeks later and he asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I agreed. I shared so much about my lif...	slogan_jim	6	1109	Sep 6, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Stressed out (Preview) I'm stressed out. And probably starting to get depressed. I've not progressed enough on my PhD to pass the first year and will write up what I've done for the past year as an MPhil, still a good qualification. I've been given 3 months money from the university to do this. Its been a massive shock I left a g...	jitsuka	1	505	Sep 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Guilty? (Preview) Why do I feel guilty? He's been in bed for 4 days so my son and I decide to go see a movie and go eat this afternoon. I asked AH if he wanted to go and he said no. So I am gone 20 minutes and he is calling trying to make me feel bad about leaving him alone. Why didn't I go get him some lunch and bring back to him before I w...	JAMIE74	13	624	Sep 6, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	stressed out (Preview) my a b/f came over to visit labor day drunk as a mop,i told him no that i wouldnt couldnt have a sexual relationship with him any more he got offensive of course and i told him that he was sooo drunk he used that as an excuse to leave and take what few other things he had left here with him,so ok,he lost his cell p...	silent	3	411	Sep 6, 2012 by pinkchip
	Pawning things and panhandling (Preview) Once he spends his whole paycheck, he starts pawning things and even panhandling to get money for alcohol. Yes, there is always money for drinks. ALWAYS! even if there is no money for rent. GRRR. I was expectingi t to be raining/storming big time when I woke up this morning but it wasn't. It's overcast a...	callmemara	12	767	Sep 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	Hi (Preview) Hi my MIP family. I'm finding it tough these last few months but reading here keeps me supported. My husband's illness has kept him debilitated all summer, Im distressed at how diminished my big strong handsome guy has become..he goes for a heart procedure next week. The grief of our loss (death of our...	Ness	8	614	Sep 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	I like Tradition Eight (Preview) We had a tradtion eight meeting at my home group this week. I have always liked this tradition and it's statement of Alanon as a program of equals. I'm not sure I would have kept coming back if people in Alanon meetings had exerted themselves as authorities of physical health, mental health, finance...	tiredtonite	4	706	Sep 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	Gotta get this off my chest (Preview) Just need to get this out. Not sure why but I can't seem to find the voice or the words to say what I'm really feeling to my sponsor, or during group. It feels like I'm screaming but nothing is coming out. A very lonely place. Feeling very desperate and this is a way I know I can reach out, other than this I li...	mehere80	5	631	Sep 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	I need advice (Preview) As anyone who read the post i created yesterday knows; I am a non-drinker married to an 'AH' as this site calls it. Yesterday we had a very large fight and he placed hands on me. Fed up, angry and scared; I grabbed everything that belonged to me and moved back into my old room at my parents house. Today I a...	Inuyami	6	602	Sep 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	I hate my life (Preview) My AH has stolen from me. Run up huge debts. Driven intoxicated with my children many times. Been fired from his last three jobs. Been to detox, then immediately started drinking again. Been back to detox. Is now out for the second time and he's a dry drunk. Not drinking, but still behaving like...	holivex	11	669	Sep 5, 2012 by orchidlover
	Thank You Grammie (Preview) So today I ended up in chat. I had not felt well all day. Probably stress related. Well Grammie got me talking about my girls. Felt pretty proud. They are amazing children. I can go on and on about them. They are so sensitive, sweet, kind, courageous, caring and very communicative. They make my reason fo...	InspiredPhotography	5	349	Sep 5, 2012 by grammie
	I don't know why?? (Preview) I'm reading posts and slowly things are starting to sink in .. lol .. I'm a slow learner, hard headed as all get out and a fast forgetter as I've heard told and I def fall into that catagory. The sharing stuff is really really hard. How to put that focus on me and not be focused on the A in my life. I'm real...	Pushka	15	629	Sep 5, 2012 by pinkchip
	So much anger! (Preview) My AH has been in rehab for 30 days today and my life has been a rollercoaster. Some days I am happy and I cope fine but others, like today, I am raging. And I cannot control it. My dogs are cowering in their kennels. Everything my children do sends me over the edge. I am so angry at everything and I don't reall...	Kismet	7	642	Sep 5, 2012 by Kismet
	Letting Go..... so hard (Preview) It's going on 2 months of complete craziness with X-ABF. Starting on July 4th when he put the gun to his head. A lot more horrible things have happened since that day. After living together for 6 yrs I asked him to leave. I literally thought I was losing my mind and I had to separate, BUT it still feels like y...	IWannaFly	11	1573	Sep 5, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Recurring Dream Re-written (Preview) I'm going to Paris soon. I'm excited. I love it there. For reasons I now question, I haven't been there in over 30 years. Can it really be that long? Dang! Since my teen yearsyears I've had a recurring dream that a trip to Paris has become available to me suddenly (LOL). I'm so thrilled -- and then somethin...	Jill	3	456	Sep 5, 2012 by pineapple
	did anyone notice how crazy Labor Day weekend is? (Preview) I am so aware of how some holiday weekends are but this one took the cake! I see so much excessive drinking in my present home town that it is actually sad. Not everyone is an alcoholic but they sure try to be. In my hometown, we celebrate like none other. I am so glad that even though it is fun, I am glad it is ov...	Hoot Nanny	3	463	Sep 5, 2012 by pineapple
	Son dies of an overdose at 33 (Preview) I just found this site and felt a need to post my story. I am in such pain. I am having a hard time digging myself out of this deep dark hole of despair. My son died aug 3 of an overdose or so I think. Autosepsy will not come back for another 2 months. His father and I have been dealing with his addiction to prescr...	jaybirdsmother	30	1023	Sep 5, 2012 by Redwing
	What Makes Them Quit ? (Preview) My AH quit for almost 2 months now. I don't know what made him quit drinking but this year I really detached and started being happy. I just turned 50 was not going to live like I have, sad, depresses, angry about life all the time so on my weekends off I planned something went away stayed at a hotel with my mo...	peacewithin	5	553	Sep 5, 2012 by peacewithin
	At my labor day party... (Preview) Yes, my life has changed a lot over 4 years. I can be at parties with alcohol. I can even have parties with alcohol being served. Thankfully most of our friends don't drink much. Yesterday, 2 people got wasted drunk at our party. 1 of them worse than the other. I had to go of into the bedroom to regrou...	pinkchip	6	553	Sep 5, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Email to my mother (Preview) Mom, This is a difficult email to write. I remember finding you passed out several times during my childhood. Once you were on the couch and for a moment I thought you were dead. I checked to see if you were breathing and after deciding you were alive I curled up at your feet and cried. I remember walkin...	Anxioussockmonkey	9	498	Sep 5, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Fed up and ready to walk away! (Preview) Hello everyone, I have just joined this forum because I'm getting to my wits ends with my husband and his alcoholism. We've been married for a year now and together for three and a half. I knew about his drinking before we even began to date but had no idea how bad it was until much later in our relations...	Inuyami	8	671	Sep 5, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	GOD HELP ME (Preview) My sister's coming home from rehab on Tuesday after only a week. A WEEK! After three years of spending more time drunk than sober and with drinking so much a part of her routine, what the hell good is a week in rehab going to do? I fully expected her to start drinking as soon as she came home but I thought my ni...	MadMax	11	649	Sep 5, 2012 by MadMax
	Should I be doing something??? (Preview) I just don't know what I should or should'nt be doing. My A son stays in his room for days on end. I know he is depressed. I know he is an addict/alcoholic and needs help. I know I'm enabling him allowing him to live here, he is 26, doesn't work because of all the "side effects" of alcohol and d...	Neesabean	10	719	Sep 4, 2012 by pinkchip
	So Lost and Confused (Preview) My AH is on day 3 of his inpatient treatment center. On day two he called me saying he couldn't wait to get home and be the best husband ever and he was really enjoying the program. He kept going on and on and when I suggested he needed to work on himself and not worry about me or our marriage he went right back t...	TrudyS85	5	531	Sep 4, 2012 by Jerry F
	Sex/intimacy and the alc marriage (Preview) Could really use some thoughts...quick...husband is the alc, married 13 years. Sex life sucks...to me its just one more obligation ...to him its the world...aint that the way ladies. Hes had one affair...ive tried to move on..hes an active alc ... I try to cope....hes out 2_3times a week....to me, s...	Theoceancalls	20	844	Sep 4, 2012 by lovestoread
	In Limbo (Preview) Wondering today what have I actually accomplished. I left my relapsing AH who had actually done very little sobriety in the past year that things have really been bad. He has always drank too much (hidden much more than I even knew) and really went off the rails about 3 years ago. He has severe withdrawl...	WornOutMrsFixIt	7	622	Sep 4, 2012 by pinkchip
	Boundaries (Preview) BoundariesThis is one issue that I have always suffered with. I was not taught to develop these boundaries so growing up I had none. Now the people around me get uncomfortable when I establish them. For an example o have been fighting with my girlfriend for the last couple of days over the fact that I d...	LadyBug	6	738	Sep 3, 2012 by LadyBug
	Need to vent my feelings, my mom has gone crazy (Preview) Hi everyone, A few day's ago my sis (who's account i am using now) posted a message about my dad who is really ill. But now my mom has gone crazy. She started calling me (really drunk) to tell me i needed to come over and stay the night with her in bed (yes the bed my dad almost died in) i refused. Now she is real...	Theemettaart	2	539	Sep 3, 2012 by Theemettaart
	I really need some help. Crazy drunk mother. What to do. (Preview) Ok, new 1st post. I'm 33. Grew up with alcoholic mother. I've been trying to break the cycle. I have been to therapy. I'm happily married and have three small children. I've never gotten into Al-non but I want desperately to understand and be able to cope with this problem. I want my children to have wha...	Anxioussockmonkey	2	3359	Sep 3, 2012 by Theemettaart
	Detaching from addicted daughter (Preview) I'm new to the forum. I am reaching out for some kind of help. I have a daughter that is an addict and can be better at times. She continues to practice bad behavior and live a high risk life style with the people she choices to be around. I have drawn boundaries and am doing best I can with staying postitive....	lisann09	4	1180	Sep 3, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	Alcoholic childhood is brainwashing. (Preview) I've been searching the Internet reading posts. I think I'm starting to understand. I never could get why as the victim I needed to do a 12 step program. I feel like I'm just beginning to realize the brainwashing. I've got to keep my priorities straight. Protect my children from my mom's chaos. I've spe...	Anxioussockmonkey	6	2703	Sep 3, 2012 by Anxioussockmonkey
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.