Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

NovSun · NovSun

Hello MIP Family, Just a quick update. The AH is 23 days sober today. This might be an actual record. He has not done the 90 meetings in 90 days thing as he previously so boldy announced, but he IS attending 4 times per week. And that is a HUGE improvement over the "I hate AA, I don't believe in God...

LulaMay · LulaMay

So I came close to a mental melt down between home and work this month. So I am trying to take care of myself. I treated myself to an overdue hair cut. I cut 13 inches off and donated it to locks of love. I colored my hair as well and feel phenomenal. I was so scared but once I was there....I could not believe ho...

Ness · Ness

Remembered today, & every day, with love. Ness xx

New Me · New Me

I'm new here and I haven't attented Al anon yet. I plan to, and reading these forums has encouraged me. I am currently separated and seriously considering divorce. My AH and I have been married 4 and a half years have a two year old who currently lives with me. My AH would go on weekly benders that last...

newdarsh · newdarsh

My sister is an alcholic. She calls me on the phone 4 to 8 times a day. Today, I couldn't take one more phone call of listening to her slurring words; I told her that I loved her very much, but not to call me until she was sober, and I hung up. I have not done this before because I feel so bad for her and her situati...

atheos · atheos

So, so many people in the world have a bitter, cynical "life sucks, get used to it" attitude... when I was at the point in my life where I was at risk of succumbing to the same belief, my fellow Al-Anon members loaned me their strength, optimism, and hope until I got my own back. For most of my lif...

souljoy · souljoy

Well it's gone from weird to weirder and today is the day he tells me I have never accepted him for his mental illness and that hurts him. Okayyyyyy never mind you are drinking everyday once again after 4 years of sobriety. Never mind you want me to bring in a third party in our relationship. Never mind you...

Overcome · Overcome

Since I've noticed several posts lately about this I thought I'd start one of my own, since I've been down both roads. I posted a reply about my journey through these two diseases on another thread about Alzheimer's. In this other thread on "my mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's", I s...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

We are not in the path but we could possible feel the effects of her. My area/region could be getting as much as 50-100mm a rain & have wind gust up to 90 km/hour. So we will see how it plays out for school tmw. Hopefully it's not as bad they are warning! I will be praying for everyone who is in the path of Sa...

m0lissa · m0lissa

I have been married to an alcoholic for 26 years. We got married very young, and in the naivete of my youth I thought that he would 'grow out of it'. He is unbelievably self-centered, isolates himself from the family by drinking in his workshop or outbuilding, hides how much he drinks, lies as easy as bre...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Hi, everyone! I've a big grin on my face, and a Big "thank you" to my HP (God), my nephew gave me all but $300.00 of my money, I told him that was a gift and worry about paying that back. Thank you all for your support and possitive thoughts. I know it was a "God (HP)thing" I can't st...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have finally had some fun to let go of some of the anxiety I have been having. It seems like sometimes when I write or talk about stuff things get easier but other times I just feel worse. I am going to have to turn all this stuff over. My HP is in charge of most of what I am going through not just the doctor. I ju...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I finally dropped off the financial information to my lawyer. I am going through so many emotions, sadness, fear, relief. While I have not told my AH yet that I am ready to file (I will do that in the next few weeks) it is another step I am taking closer to divorce. After a great session with my therapist w...

AZR · AZR

Hi my husband is an alcoholic in denial. We've been married for 14 years. We have 2 girls and his 23 year old is now living with us. She hates his drinking and sees what it has done to me. I raised her and she just graduated college and now working on masters. It amazes me that he fails to see what a beautfiul fa...

Gailey · Gailey

and after about 2 years of taking care of her my family is showing signs of falling apart. It is 5 of us...4 girls and 1 boy. Mom has always lived with my brother. He is a non-drinking A that has not had a drink in many years. He thinks he is the dictator of all that goes on with regard to taking care of our mother...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Well, last week at this time I was much worse off than today... good news! The Al-Anon meeting I went to yesterday seems to be a little better fit than the first group I attended. Nothing per se bad about the first group but just seemed like a better fit for me. Still have to work into it though. I am stil...

Mitchie · Mitchie

i have been taking care of my mother for 12 years, I am 46, she is 69 there is nothing "wrong" with her except she is finacially incapable. She is a drug addict, weather she is currently using or not is unknown, but she does have the behavior. During the past 15 years, she blew her inheritan...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Thanks to all of you who responded to my post about keeping someone's anonymity in the workplace. Reading your wisdom and recovery made me feel that you had my back. Your encouragement is giving me strength in a uncomfortable climate at work. Just to let you know, I did keep the person's anonymity and...

Overcome · Overcome

Steps One, Two and Three taught us about the disease of alcoholism, that we were powerless over the disease and that a Power greater than ourselves can return us to Sanity if we so desire. A short phrase for this is: I cant, God can, and Im going to Let Him.There are several different ways to approach the f...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

I really missed you guys.. So far things had been going well since the last time I posted. We decided to work together. He has gone to AA meetings. He is actually going two times a week now. However past week things have been going down again. His antics & such are mounting up on me. Today I am a little...

rehprof · rehprof

back story.. A lost job in June 2010. Asked him to leave in Oct. We divorced in March 2012. He asked for $500 a week in alimony -- in anticipation that he would have to pay child support...and in hopes that the judge would award it to even out him having to pay child support. this is 2/3 of my entire income. I p...

Gailey · Gailey

Living with the disease of alcoholism is too much for most of us. As the Meeting opening states "Our thinking becomes distorted and we become irritable and unreasonable without even knowing it." Hotrod wrote this in another reply and for some reason it hit me hard today. I know I have heard...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Thank you all for catching me. Things are even better. It shocks me how situations can happen,blows up in your face sorta, it feels sooo awful, can't eat, drink, sleep, breath. Ya just don't think yet you are on this train to what you believe is the worst thing. Then whoa, I did learn something! I admit al...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Language of Letting Go (which is not 12-step literature) talked today about not getting hooked into power plays and manipulation by others. The phone rings. It's my mother's cousin. She called me to do a power play - it was totally obvious. Insane, actually. I wish I handled it better. I lied and said s...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

OK so my health is very important. But, yesterday my doctor ordered an ultrasound. He wasn't being very nice either because he was dissatisfied w/ the incompetence he found in he lab results. No word on them until I got there. OH well...he is human. I really don't like him but oh well...at least I got him...

daisy31 · daisy31

I am working with a sponsor and I am on step 3. I feel like I know I am powerless (step1). I came to believe a hp could restore me to sanity (step 2). And now for step 3 became willing to turn my life over to a HP. I feel stuck on step 3. I just don't know how to turn it over. I have to make decisions all day long a...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

If all you nice Alanoners don't want your alcoholic to lie to you, don't ask him any stupid questions. "Where were you last night?" or "What happened to your paycheck?" or "Why do you smell like Avon's Roses Roses?" Or my all-time favorite one: "W...

rellik · rellik

So I'm starting to lose the perception of control. I call it perception cuz I know I never had control. But I want it so bad!!! there is a slogan or formula that I have mentioned before that goes like this E+R=O. E=Event, these can be anything in our lives. being the spouse of an acoholic the "event&q...

xeno59 · xeno59

So spilled coffee on my laptop and fried the insides *sigh*. Bought a new computer and had everything transferred over but can't access the chatroom >tear<. I think I have downloaded Java a dozen times, no luck. Tried Mirc but i am just not that computer litterate. So until i get this worked out,...

Pushka · Pushka

I was mulling this around this early AM today, yes .. I probably shouldn't think to much however I am in the middle of a nasty little situation. I have to say that the lying is so part of the disease that in my case in dealing with the STBAX .. he can't tell the truth. It's not a matter of won't. If he were pra...

bryteyes · bryteyes

So ive read im supposed to detach myself. Im a very emotional person more like a caregiver so its very hard to do. Im angry that he is emotionless, has ño sense to what hes done to me and im supposed to not bring up anything to him cause I would be enabling him? My abnormal thought is that we have a 4 month old th...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Ugh, AH has returned from Costa Rica all filled with love and appreciation for me. He thinks our marriage is over and actually said, "I wish you could have changed me.". Wow, I guess I didn't realize how hard I must have been working to change him all these years. Unfortunately, what he still...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I like this and sometimes need to remind myself ... God Grant me the serenity To accept the one I cannot change The courage to change the one I can And the wisdom to know that one is me. Hope everybody has a higher powered day. TT

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

In our last session with the marriage counselor I was asked: what do you need or want from your husband? Honestly, I don't think I was prepared to give a response and so I didn't. Granted, I want him to find real sobriety but I want him to do that for himself, not just to cross off check marks for me. I have...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi. My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. My alcoholic father keeps re-hashing the past and things that he regrets. I keep receiving text messages from him and it's just a giant pity party. Here's how the conversation went. 'I love you' 'I wouldn't replace you for the world' Me: &q...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Just a little thought for everyone... I never used to realize all of the "elephants" walking around. I've now become SO sensitive to alcohol in general because of the AW. I can almost feel my heart beat get faster when I see an ad on TV for a wine festival coming up. Yesterday we went to Busc...

Ontario · Ontario

Hi all. I am new here. I have been reading posts for quite some time and they do give me great comfort sometimes. I was with an alcoholic for 25 yrs, married for 16yrs. My father is an alcoholic as well, although I never really realized that until about 10 yrs ago..which I find odd. Good childhood I think j...

Lmtjude · Lmtjude

Never in a million years would I think I would be here. My daughter has a drinking problem and has for a couple years that I know of. Her husband also drank until he had a severe health problem and is not supposed to drink. Daughter had weight loss surgery several years ago and is not supposed to drink at all...

Adi · Adi

I have now been to 2 Alanon meetings, the people there are kind and helpful but when I hear what some have been through I feel guilty. My A has never said a bad word, raised a hand, put lives in danger had a day off work, he is a poor coper and has no self esteem. He has always had issues around being near lots of p...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Not that I expected her for some reason but the AW couldn't do it. When I had told her that I was uncomfortable with her drinking at all she had told me she would not drink but would not go to this fitness cookout today. I said it was up to her. Guess I should've prepared more for when I came home. She was in...

rellik · rellik

Well tonight was the sixth night in a row my AW has not had a drink. With the exception of being in rehab it is the longest she has been without a drink in five years (since our son was born). I thought i would be happy, but i cant sleep and i dont feel happy. I dont feel excited. I feel more like i did the night bef...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I'm beyond amazed and hurt, I'm afraid to pray for God's will in this because I thought it was his will for me to help my nephews family out when they were pending homelessness. He was very sick, out on workman's comp. process was very slow, wife unemployed. He also ended up in addition to work injury,...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Recently, I was given a special assignment at work with some others in my workplace. The company is about to downsize although they've thought of a more friendly term for it as not to cause unrest within the company. My assignment is to fill in a key group of supervisors as to what fellow employees que...

hotrod · hotrod

HI EVERYONE EACH MIP MESSAGE BOARD HAS AGAIN BEEN ASKED TO WORK THE 12 STEPS ON THE STEP WORK BOARD BEGINNING 10-21 AND EVERY 2 WEEKS GOING FORWARD. THE FOLOWING IS A QUOTE FROM AL ANON 12 AND 12Twelve StepsIN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL. GROWTH BEGAN FOR...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Many of you know how much I depend on this home. My family is all gone, and many of my friends who we could share everything with each other. Please I need as many of you who can, to give me your thoughts. Even pm would be great. I have shared I have a best friend, we have been in close contact for over 10 years no...

rellik · rellik

I don't know how everyone feels about music. But i found a song that really makes me feel good about "let go and let God" it is " the cave" by mumford and sons. When my spirits are down and i feel week, i play this song and i feel better about right now and tomorrow.

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

What's that saying, don't pray for patience, or God will test you? I've been working and learning to turn my life over to my HP. Guess he decided levelling things was a better way to start, apparently my foundation is shakey LOL. Ok this is "not" funny news, forgive my air of humor but this is...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Not that im terribly surprised.he texted at 3 yezterday to say he was at budxies an hourplus from home...would prob have dinner and then "who knows". That was the last I heard from him despite me texting asking that he call our child to say gnight...didnt happen. The excuse is always....my...

denro · denro

My business partner keeps promising me money. He keeps making promises and breaking them. I get attached, uncomfortable and resentful. I know I need to turn it over to the higher power and I am struggling with that. I am looking to see how I can make it more natural to let it go and let my business partner b...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I left My A/BF on Wednesday, Moved in with my daughter, got a job ( A hard job making 55.00 a day cash for 3 days) Tomarrow will be my 2nd Day. My A calls tonight, begging, begging to please come home. Things will be different. On, and On..... He has made promises before, but this time is different, it's like...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am waiting for the results from all the tests & on Monday I hopefully will know what is going on w/ all the pain in my body. I have been struggling a lot & I just want to know what is wrong, what it is called & what the doctor can do about it--treatment. I will let you all know as soon as I can. It is s...

Desirae · Desirae

Todays meeting is scheduled for 10:00AM Eastern time. I am just wondering if there is a chair today...

CDK · CDK

Just wanted to pop in and say hello. I still read here several times a week, and continue to learn and grow from you all. Thank you all so much. Im doing so much better than I ever thought possible when I first showed up here ay the beginning of the summer. I have decided to continue my 12 step journey in a CoDa...

Umutlu · Umutlu

This is my first time posting. I've never been to a meeting and I've only ever told two people that I think my husband has a drinking problem. I am 48 years old, I've been married for 21 years. I have two teenage children. I live in Europe. I am married to a wonderful man. He is loving, affectionate, support...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

When I was looking at our online banking today comparing it to our checkbook, I noticed that this morning the wife must have gone to the grocery store on the way in to work. Guess what my first thought was...? Yes, I bet she bought some alcohol. Maybe a small breakthrough but here is how my thoughts wen...

Jozie · Jozie

This Seems at times in My Life! I Start the Fun Little Roller Coaster Ride, and then when it gets going in all directions I Find a Safe Place to Land & Get off! I hand My Problems & My Life over to the God of My Understanding... Then... I take it back... I know I'm Human & Not Alone but sometimes It...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have been having my struggles as of late and not only with the wise old timers, but with the new comers I am learning so much! I am so glad to listen to their ESH. Where they are at also reminds me of what I have been through and thanks to Al-anon it's a lot easier. I have my handy tool belt with lots of tools a...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Ok, so the AH got that I did not have a great day. I had told her on the phone (she was addimant and asked) that I was not comfortable with her drinking at all. She said "So now things have changed and you don't want me to drink at all." I replied that the decision was hers to do what she wanted to d...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Over the past several weeks I can't tell you how many times I have heard about how my AH wants to stop drinking but can't. How he prays everyday that he will stop. I could go into detail about the positive changes and growth. The taking ownership, and great strides made in being less selfish. Except that w...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Ok, so I went to my first meeting. Not really what I thought. I plan on continuing with Al-Anon to give it a chance as everyone has suggested. I also plan on attending more than one group to see which one "fits" me if that makes sense. I was the only male there and most of the women were older (...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Happy Thursday (Preview) Hello MIP Family, Just a quick update. The AH is 23 days sober today. This might be an actual record. He has not done the 90 meetings in 90 days thing as he previously so boldy announced, but he IS attending 4 times per week. And that is a HUGE improvement over the "I hate AA, I don't believe in God...	NovSun	3	300	Oct 29, 2012 by NovSun
	Taking Care of ME (Preview) So I came close to a mental melt down between home and work this month. So I am trying to take care of myself. I treated myself to an overdue hair cut. I cut 13 inches off and donated it to locks of love. I colored my hair as well and feel phenomenal. I was so scared but once I was there....I could not believe ho...	LulaMay	1	338	Oct 29, 2012 by jorjorjor
	My son 30/10/76-27/10/11 (Preview) Remembered today, & every day, with love. Ness xx	Ness	8	483	Oct 29, 2012 by Ness
	Can I trust him? (Preview) I'm new here and I haven't attented Al anon yet. I plan to, and reading these forums has encouraged me. I am currently separated and seriously considering divorce. My AH and I have been married 4 and a half years have a two year old who currently lives with me. My AH would go on weekly benders that last...	New Me	14	619	Oct 29, 2012 by New Me
	Constant Phone Calls (Preview) My sister is an alcholic. She calls me on the phone 4 to 8 times a day. Today, I couldn't take one more phone call of listening to her slurring words; I told her that I loved her very much, but not to call me until she was sober, and I hung up. I have not done this before because I feel so bad for her and her situati...	newdarsh	8	611	Oct 28, 2012 by abbyal
	Realizing how much this program has given me (Preview) So, so many people in the world have a bitter, cynical "life sucks, get used to it" attitude... when I was at the point in my life where I was at risk of succumbing to the same belief, my fellow Al-Anon members loaned me their strength, optimism, and hope until I got my own back. For most of my lif...	atheos	5	357	Oct 28, 2012 by UK Jane
	Sigh (Preview) Well it's gone from weird to weirder and today is the day he tells me I have never accepted him for his mental illness and that hurts him. Okayyyyyy never mind you are drinking everyday once again after 4 years of sobriety. Never mind you want me to bring in a third party in our relationship. Never mind you...	souljoy	2	307	Oct 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	Alzheimer's and Alcoholism (Preview) Since I've noticed several posts lately about this I thought I'd start one of my own, since I've been down both roads. I posted a reply about my journey through these two diseases on another thread about Alzheimer's. In this other thread on "my mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's", I s...	Overcome	2	524	Oct 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	Hurricane Sandy (Preview) We are not in the path but we could possible feel the effects of her. My area/region could be getting as much as 50-100mm a rain & have wind gust up to 90 km/hour. So we will see how it plays out for school tmw. Hopefully it's not as bad they are warning! I will be praying for everyone who is in the path of Sa...	InspiredPhotography	1	286	Oct 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	New to this board and not sure where to begin... (Preview) I have been married to an alcoholic for 26 years. We got married very young, and in the naivete of my youth I thought that he would 'grow out of it'. He is unbelievably self-centered, isolates himself from the family by drinking in his workshop or outbuilding, hides how much he drinks, lies as easy as bre...	m0lissa	13	788	Oct 28, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	HP (God) never fail (Preview) Hi, everyone! I've a big grin on my face, and a Big "thank you" to my HP (God), my nephew gave me all but $300.00 of my money, I told him that was a gift and worry about paying that back. Thank you all for your support and possitive thoughts. I know it was a "God (HP)thing" I can't st...	Highlyfavored	4	284	Oct 28, 2012 by slogan_jim
	finally some fun! (Preview) I have finally had some fun to let go of some of the anxiety I have been having. It seems like sometimes when I write or talk about stuff things get easier but other times I just feel worse. I am going to have to turn all this stuff over. My HP is in charge of most of what I am going through not just the doctor. I ju...	Hoot Nanny	1	274	Oct 28, 2012 by hotrod
	Dropped Off The Paperwork (Preview) I finally dropped off the financial information to my lawyer. I am going through so many emotions, sadness, fear, relief. While I have not told my AH yet that I am ready to file (I will do that in the next few weeks) it is another step I am taking closer to divorce. After a great session with my therapist w...	TrudyS85	6	529	Oct 27, 2012 by gyzer02
	Sad (Preview) Hi my husband is an alcoholic in denial. We've been married for 14 years. We have 2 girls and his 23 year old is now living with us. She hates his drinking and sees what it has done to me. I raised her and she just graduated college and now working on masters. It amazes me that he fails to see what a beautfiul fa...	AZR	7	544	Oct 27, 2012 by abbyal
	My mom has alzheimer's disease...... (Preview) and after about 2 years of taking care of her my family is showing signs of falling apart. It is 5 of us...4 girls and 1 boy. Mom has always lived with my brother. He is a non-drinking A that has not had a drink in many years. He thinks he is the dictator of all that goes on with regard to taking care of our mother...	Gailey	5	692	Oct 27, 2012 by Overcome
	Mental preparation for the weekend... (Preview) Well, last week at this time I was much worse off than today... good news! The Al-Anon meeting I went to yesterday seems to be a little better fit than the first group I attended. Nothing per se bad about the first group but just seemed like a better fit for me. Still have to work into it though. I am stil...	hdftby100	2	464	Oct 27, 2012 by Jerry F
	help in dealing with resentment, guilt regarding my mother (Preview) i have been taking care of my mother for 12 years, I am 46, she is 69 there is nothing "wrong" with her except she is finacially incapable. She is a drug addict, weather she is currently using or not is unknown, but she does have the behavior. During the past 15 years, she blew her inheritan...	Mitchie	6	793	Oct 27, 2012 by hotrod
	Update about work (Preview) Thanks to all of you who responded to my post about keeping someone's anonymity in the workplace. Reading your wisdom and recovery made me feel that you had my back. Your encouragement is giving me strength in a uncomfortable climate at work. Just to let you know, I did keep the person's anonymity and...	tiredtonite	2	432	Oct 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	STEP FOUR: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (Preview) Steps One, Two and Three taught us about the disease of alcoholism, that we were powerless over the disease and that a Power greater than ourselves can return us to Sanity if we so desire. A short phrase for this is: I cant, God can, and Im going to Let Him.There are several different ways to approach the f...	Overcome	3	1443	Oct 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	Hi (Preview) I really missed you guys.. So far things had been going well since the last time I posted. We decided to work together. He has gone to AA meetings. He is actually going two times a week now. However past week things have been going down again. His antics & such are mounting up on me. Today I am a little...	InspiredPhotography	12	627	Oct 26, 2012 by hotrod
	Do I ask or let it go? (Preview) back story.. A lost job in June 2010. Asked him to leave in Oct. We divorced in March 2012. He asked for $500 a week in alimony -- in anticipation that he would have to pay child support...and in hopes that the judge would award it to even out him having to pay child support. this is 2/3 of my entire income. I p...	rehprof	26	674	Oct 26, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	WOW....I am still so sick! (Preview) Living with the disease of alcoholism is too much for most of us. As the Meeting opening states "Our thinking becomes distorted and we become irritable and unreasonable without even knowing it." Hotrod wrote this in another reply and for some reason it hit me hard today. I know I have heard...	Gailey	7	537	Oct 26, 2012 by Gailey
	Ya jest never know! (Preview) Thank you all for catching me. Things are even better. It shocks me how situations can happen,blows up in your face sorta, it feels sooo awful, can't eat, drink, sleep, breath. Ya just don't think yet you are on this train to what you believe is the worst thing. Then whoa, I did learn something! I admit al...	Debilyn	4	574	Oct 26, 2012 by Debilyn
	Meditation Book Came True Today (Preview) Language of Letting Go (which is not 12-step literature) talked today about not getting hooked into power plays and manipulation by others. The phone rings. It's my mother's cousin. She called me to do a power play - it was totally obvious. Insane, actually. I wish I handled it better. I lied and said s...	WorkingThroughIt	9	681	Oct 25, 2012 by orchidlover
	something else I gotta do! (Preview) OK so my health is very important. But, yesterday my doctor ordered an ultrasound. He wasn't being very nice either because he was dissatisfied w/ the incompetence he found in he lab results. No word on them until I got there. OH well...he is human. I really don't like him but oh well...at least I got him...	Hoot Nanny	2	272	Oct 25, 2012 by Icie
	Having a hard time with step 3 (Preview) I am working with a sponsor and I am on step 3. I feel like I know I am powerless (step1). I came to believe a hp could restore me to sanity (step 2). And now for step 3 became willing to turn my life over to a HP. I feel stuck on step 3. I just don't know how to turn it over. I have to make decisions all day long a...	daisy31	7	560	Oct 25, 2012 by mehere80
	A Suggestion from a Double-Winner (Preview) If all you nice Alanoners don't want your alcoholic to lie to you, don't ask him any stupid questions. "Where were you last night?" or "What happened to your paycheck?" or "Why do you smell like Avon's Roses Roses?" Or my all-time favorite one: "W...	WorkingThroughIt	18	648	Oct 25, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	Solution to the CONTROL freek in me (Preview) So I'm starting to lose the perception of control. I call it perception cuz I know I never had control. But I want it so bad!!! there is a slogan or formula that I have mentioned before that goes like this E+R=O. E=Event, these can be anything in our lives. being the spouse of an acoholic the "event&q...	rellik	5	567	Oct 24, 2012 by rellik
	Fried computer (Preview) So spilled coffee on my laptop and fried the insides sigh. Bought a new computer and had everything transferred over but can't access the chatroom >tear<. I think I have downloaded Java a dozen times, no luck. Tried Mirc but i am just not that computer litterate. So until i get this worked out,...	xeno59	4	288	Oct 24, 2012 by xeno59
	Can't VS Won't (Preview) I was mulling this around this early AM today, yes .. I probably shouldn't think to much however I am in the middle of a nasty little situation. I have to say that the lying is so part of the disease that in my case in dealing with the STBAX .. he can't tell the truth. It's not a matter of won't. If he were pra...	Pushka	11	554	Oct 24, 2012 by pinkchip
	im angry confused and habing abnormal thoughtse (Preview) So ive read im supposed to detach myself. Im a very emotional person more like a caregiver so its very hard to do. Im angry that he is emotionless, has ño sense to what hes done to me and im supposed to not bring up anything to him cause I would be enabling him? My abnormal thought is that we have a 4 month old th...	bryteyes	8	631	Oct 23, 2012 by BeTheChange
	My head is going to explode! (Preview) Ugh, AH has returned from Costa Rica all filled with love and appreciation for me. He thinks our marriage is over and actually said, "I wish you could have changed me.". Wow, I guess I didn't realize how hard I must have been working to change him all these years. Unfortunately, what he still...	ilovedogs	7	648	Oct 23, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	A New Twist on an Old Prayer (Preview) I like this and sometimes need to remind myself ... God Grant me the serenity To accept the one I cannot change The courage to change the one I can And the wisdom to know that one is me. Hope everybody has a higher powered day. TT	tiredtonite	4	362	Oct 23, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	What do YOU NEED and WANT? (Preview) In our last session with the marriage counselor I was asked: what do you need or want from your husband? Honestly, I don't think I was prepared to give a response and so I didn't. Granted, I want him to find real sobriety but I want him to do that for himself, not just to cross off check marks for me. I have...	ilovedogs	18	748	Oct 23, 2012 by OZ Amplexd
	He's drunk again (share) (Preview) Hi. My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. My alcoholic father keeps re-hashing the past and things that he regrets. I keep receiving text messages from him and it's just a giant pity party. Here's how the conversation went. 'I love you' 'I wouldn't replace you for the world' Me: &q...	slogan_jim	5	553	Oct 23, 2012 by xeno59
	Never used to see all the elephants walking around... (Preview) Just a little thought for everyone... I never used to realize all of the "elephants" walking around. I've now become SO sensitive to alcohol in general because of the AW. I can almost feel my heart beat get faster when I see an ad on TV for a wine festival coming up. Yesterday we went to Busc...	hdftby100	1	325	Oct 23, 2012 by Jerry F
	Not trusting my judgement (Preview) Hi all. I am new here. I have been reading posts for quite some time and they do give me great comfort sometimes. I was with an alcoholic for 25 yrs, married for 16yrs. My father is an alcoholic as well, although I never really realized that until about 10 yrs ago..which I find odd. Good childhood I think j...	Ontario	6	713	Oct 23, 2012 by Jerry F
	Help for my daughter (Preview) Never in a million years would I think I would be here. My daughter has a drinking problem and has for a couple years that I know of. Her husband also drank until he had a severe health problem and is not supposed to drink. Daughter had weight loss surgery several years ago and is not supposed to drink at all...	Lmtjude	4	441	Oct 23, 2012 by Temple
	Help me decide please (Preview) I have now been to 2 Alanon meetings, the people there are kind and helpful but when I hear what some have been through I feel guilty. My A has never said a bad word, raised a hand, put lives in danger had a day off work, he is a poor coper and has no self esteem. He has always had issues around being near lots of p...	Adi	8	555	Oct 23, 2012 by tiredtonite
	She couldn't do it... (Preview) Not that I expected her for some reason but the AW couldn't do it. When I had told her that I was uncomfortable with her drinking at all she had told me she would not drink but would not go to this fitness cookout today. I said it was up to her. Guess I should've prepared more for when I came home. She was in...	hdftby100	3	436	Oct 23, 2012 by tiredtonite
	First hurdle (Preview) Well tonight was the sixth night in a row my AW has not had a drink. With the exception of being in rehab it is the longest she has been without a drink in five years (since our son was born). I thought i would be happy, but i cant sleep and i dont feel happy. I dont feel excited. I feel more like i did the night bef...	rellik	6	447	Oct 22, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Don't know what God's will is? (Preview) I'm beyond amazed and hurt, I'm afraid to pray for God's will in this because I thought it was his will for me to help my nephews family out when they were pending homelessness. He was very sick, out on workman's comp. process was very slow, wife unemployed. He also ended up in addition to work injury,...	Highlyfavored	9	600	Oct 22, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	practicing these principles (Preview) Recently, I was given a special assignment at work with some others in my workplace. The company is about to downsize although they've thought of a more friendly term for it as not to cause unrest within the company. My assignment is to fill in a key group of supervisors as to what fellow employees que...	tiredtonite	7	607	Oct 22, 2012 by tiredtonite
	STEP WORK BOARD (Preview) HI EVERYONE EACH MIP MESSAGE BOARD HAS AGAIN BEEN ASKED TO WORK THE 12 STEPS ON THE STEP WORK BOARD BEGINNING 10-21 AND EVERY 2 WEEKS GOING FORWARD. THE FOLOWING IS A QUOTE FROM AL ANON 12 AND 12Twelve StepsIN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL. GROWTH BEGAN FOR...	hotrod	2	292	Oct 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Confused, and hurting need your help please. (Preview) Many of you know how much I depend on this home. My family is all gone, and many of my friends who we could share everything with each other. Please I need as many of you who can, to give me your thoughts. Even pm would be great. I have shared I have a best friend, we have been in close contact for over 10 years no...	Debilyn	19	802	Oct 22, 2012 by Debilyn
	My song of change (Preview) I don't know how everyone feels about music. But i found a song that really makes me feel good about "let go and let God" it is " the cave" by mumford and sons. When my spirits are down and i feel week, i play this song and i feel better about right now and tomorrow.	rellik	7	385	Oct 21, 2012 by rellik
	Awe HP you have a sense of humor! (Preview) What's that saying, don't pray for patience, or God will test you? I've been working and learning to turn my life over to my HP. Guess he decided levelling things was a better way to start, apparently my foundation is shakey LOL. Ok this is "not" funny news, forgive my air of humor but this is...	AStrongerMe	5	470	Oct 21, 2012 by Wolfie55
	he stayed out all night...again. (Preview) Not that im terribly surprised.he texted at 3 yezterday to say he was at budxies an hourplus from home...would prob have dinner and then "who knows". That was the last I heard from him despite me texting asking that he call our child to say gnight...didnt happen. The excuse is always....my...	Theoceancalls	9	3468	Oct 21, 2012 by pinkchip
	Handling a Broken Promise (Preview) My business partner keeps promising me money. He keeps making promises and breaking them. I get attached, uncomfortable and resentful. I know I need to turn it over to the higher power and I am struggling with that. I am looking to see how I can make it more natural to let it go and let my business partner b...	denro	8	501	Oct 21, 2012 by pinkchip
	Don't know how to handle this??? (Preview) I left My A/BF on Wednesday, Moved in with my daughter, got a job ( A hard job making 55.00 a day cash for 3 days) Tomarrow will be my 2nd Day. My A calls tonight, begging, begging to please come home. Things will be different. On, and On..... He has made promises before, but this time is different, it's like...	sisdragonfly1957	4	647	Oct 21, 2012 by Debilyn
	where do I go from here? (Preview) I am waiting for the results from all the tests & on Monday I hopefully will know what is going on w/ all the pain in my body. I have been struggling a lot & I just want to know what is wrong, what it is called & what the doctor can do about it--treatment. I will let you all know as soon as I can. It is s...	Hoot Nanny	4	481	Oct 21, 2012 by Debilyn
	Is there an Al-anon meeting today? :pc: (Preview) Todays meeting is scheduled for 10:00AM Eastern time. I am just wondering if there is a chair today...	Desirae	0	287	Oct 20, 2012 by Desirae
	Hello! (Preview) Just wanted to pop in and say hello. I still read here several times a week, and continue to learn and grow from you all. Thank you all so much. Im doing so much better than I ever thought possible when I first showed up here ay the beginning of the summer. I have decided to continue my 12 step journey in a CoDa...	CDK	2	338	Oct 20, 2012 by ilovedogs
	New and Confused (Preview) This is my first time posting. I've never been to a meeting and I've only ever told two people that I think my husband has a drinking problem. I am 48 years old, I've been married for 21 years. I have two teenage children. I live in Europe. I am married to a wonderful man. He is loving, affectionate, support...	Umutlu	7	585	Oct 20, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	So, I think my AW went by teh grocery store on the way to work... (Preview) When I was looking at our online banking today comparing it to our checkbook, I noticed that this morning the wife must have gone to the grocery store on the way in to work. Guess what my first thought was...? Yes, I bet she bought some alcohol. Maybe a small breakthrough but here is how my thoughts wen...	hdftby100	7	503	Oct 20, 2012 by Breakingfree
	On-Off... Give away-Take back.... (Preview) This Seems at times in My Life! I Start the Fun Little Roller Coaster Ride, and then when it gets going in all directions I Find a Safe Place to Land & Get off! I hand My Problems & My Life over to the God of My Understanding... Then... I take it back... I know I'm Human & Not Alone but sometimes It...	Jozie	3	467	Oct 20, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I am loving all the new comers (Preview) I have been having my struggles as of late and not only with the wise old timers, but with the new comers I am learning so much! I am so glad to listen to their ESH. Where they are at also reminds me of what I have been through and thanks to Al-anon it's a lot easier. I have my handy tool belt with lots of tools a...	Breakingfree	4	419	Oct 20, 2012 by Debilyn
	Can't sleep. Did some things wrong this evening and some mixed results... (Preview) Ok, so the AH got that I did not have a great day. I had told her on the phone (she was addimant and asked) that I was not comfortable with her drinking at all. She said "So now things have changed and you don't want me to drink at all." I replied that the decision was hers to do what she wanted to d...	hdftby100	6	563	Oct 19, 2012 by orchidlover
	keeping my focus (Preview) Over the past several weeks I can't tell you how many times I have heard about how my AH wants to stop drinking but can't. How he prays everyday that he will stop. I could go into detail about the positive changes and growth. The taking ownership, and great strides made in being less selfish. Except that w...	Jackie11	2	386	Oct 19, 2012 by Jackie11
	Went to my first meeting... (Preview) Ok, so I went to my first meeting. Not really what I thought. I plan on continuing with Al-Anon to give it a chance as everyone has suggested. I also plan on attending more than one group to see which one "fits" me if that makes sense. I was the only male there and most of the women were older (...	hdftby100	13	591	Oct 19, 2012 by Gailey
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.