Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

When I came into recovery I said I was gonna change. After I went through the 12 steps and 3 more years of practicing the latter steps, it became claer to me that I needed to stop being an adult child wrapped into the insanity, chaos and control of my parents who hav enever been willing to seek recovery or he...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

Im back on the daughter/granddaughter thing today. Backstory is my alcoholic/addict daughter chose to give up custody of her daughter to us and leave and go back to Michigan and had to come right back. So she came ack, under the understood condition that she live somewhere else so she can grow up and be...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So Wednsday night my 14 year old daughter went to a nearby church at 7 pm for youth group and I called her at 9:30 to see if her and her friend were going to be coming home soon. She said something really bad happened and I needed to pick them up. So I did and she didn't want to talk about it until i dropped off her...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I come here to ask for some prayers that I will have the strengh and courage to sit and listen and have a loving and kind meeting with my son and his sponsors. We will be attending a AA speaker meeting before and visit afterwards. Please pray that my son will come...not sure at this time if he will show up. I...

cinders · cinders

I decided I was ready to send out the divorce papers today. I made a mistake though, I decided to take them by his house and drop them off because he was pretty adament about getting them right away and I wanted an oppurtunity to say good bye. He has been denying me that this whole time and it has been hard...

Umutlu · Umutlu

I am feeling a mixture of anger and frustration, with a little "just go to hell" thrown in. I'm trying not to give a damn, but its hard. This evening just my husband and I are home. It could have been nice. It should have been nice. But he started drinking this afternoon and I could tell it would...

RR67 · RR67

Is there a page on here to find where the meetings are

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

When I hear the sound of the ice jingling around in the glass, I just want to scream. Her speech begins to slur and she starts to get beligerant. I have alot of issues with anger and having her here like that is almost unbearable. I can feel myself about to break. I know when it happens it ain't gonna be prett...

Lyne · Lyne

so i've had a good week or two with my A. I didn' t think everything was fine, but I felt better, calmer, like life might be OK. Last night she went out, didn't let me know where she was, probably drank, and this morning was acting like everything is fine. Thin Things are not fine. I'm not fine. I told her sh...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok, I Hope No One Finds this offensive, but I read this & Had a Chuckle and thought maybe you would too... I Remember going thru this with my Mother when I was Drinking as a Young Teen... She didn't catch me Often, but when she did, this is about how it made me feel... Yet the "Insanity" I was...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so anxious about today & whether I should post again about my dad's death this time last year. I also would like to change my Facebook profile picture to a picture of him. Maybe it is just madness to try to do something I don't know how to do! I have a friend who may be able to show me how to do these thin...

dinolux · dinolux

Hi, I'm new here, but I've been regularly going to Al-Anon meetings for a couple months now. I'm so grateful for the meetings and I love the three regular meetings I go to each week. I've been working with a sponsor and I'm slowly starting to notice a difference in me. My Tuesday night meeting is my favori...

tortuga · tortuga

maybe some of you read my post a few days earlier... I had explored a new way of detaching by hanging up on my boyfriend when he said 'I'm drunk...' and had a more or less quiet sleep..at least more quiet than what had always followed my usual arguing with him endlessly in that state of mind, because I got wo...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Having a rough patch lately. I am depressed most of the time, except when I am at work. Last night I couldn't even enjoy spending time with our 20 month old grandson. The wife asks me what is wrong and I reply I am just sad. I start to cry. I have other issues in my life that I am trying to deal with. I thin...

mike3b · mike3b

Help....Im really struggling with this one..... My wife told me she met with someone she met in re-hab for supper.....I understand that she needs her new friends to talk to but i have a really big problem with her meeting him for dinner.....He is only 21 and my wife is 40....She told me that he likes hims...

Looking for peace · Looking for peace

In reading some of these posts, I get the idea that true change and recovery is very hard to come by. My husband is in rehab - his second attempt. The last four months of his relapse have been hell. He is not abusive, just depressed and self destructive and absent when drinking. It is so hard to know what t...

cinders · cinders

I work with a woman that does notary, so I finally was able to get the divorce papers back from her last night. I have them in hand and just could not get myself to put put them in the mailbox to him today. I know he is chomping at the bit and demanding they get sent to him asap, even saying to drop them in his ma...

sweeetr · sweeetr

How cool is that. I come home to stoned like person passed out instead of watching child cuz now has rx's and alcohol. Wth

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

I don't know why, perhaps airing issues with my daughter/granddaughter, or what the specific issue is, I simply feel liberated. That and working hard at just being me and loving myself just as I am and working alanon principals- I guess it's been a burden off. I don't have a thing bothering me and that'...

imom · imom

Ok...so tonight, my AH drove both of my children, and another child in a carpool and when he came home, I could smell the A on him. I did not want to fight, but I also wanted to make it very clear that I would not accept him putting any children in danger by drinking or driving. I simply said, if you're going...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

After my drama today I went to a meeting I normally don't attend. Was really nice and I was able to talk and enjoy the followship. One of the women I had know from two years ago was there and we talked alot. She wants me to chair the meetings in January. I said I didn't think I was ready but she said we will he...

twladybug · twladybug

I wish I could find answers. I wish I knew if the problem is alcholism or if we really just have a dysfunctional relationship. My recovering A broke up again with me this morning. This has happened 4 or 5 times over the last year. Every other time he later said he still loves me and wants to keep working at it...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I can only say I didn't cry, I ddin't scream, I didn't get depressed I only prayed for God to help him. ( Thought he was doing good in AA ) I was mislead again. AS told me things tonight that would in the past put me in the hospital but now I was OK. He is very sick and not in his right mind and also to stop the al...

Rich JHU · Rich JHU

Hey all, This is my first communication in any way with Al Anon. I am 29 years old, happily married with a daughter and another one on the way. I have my dream job and the best friends anyone could ask for. My life is perfect in every way but one, my family. I grew up being taught that alcohol was a way to party a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I want to say something inspirational but I don't have a lot of time. Just remember this: There is absolutely nothing that your HP & you cannot do together. You are not insignificant. You are important & worth thinking of & being loved. This time of year we remember those we love. We give wh...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

I'm opening up for the first time about this difficult situation. Seeing as how I'm much worse at taking advice than giving it, I could use some of my own medicine... Long story short- I have a bipolar daughter who has wreaked havoc in my life and my wife's since day one. Once she got a few friends in High...

RR67 · RR67

today is the day I will go to meetings and try to meet p like me. I'm going to try to look at today for today and not think about yesterday . I tend to live the past issues and make them my everyday priorety. In the present day. I need to reprogram my brain try to be positive . I just want what ever normal is .

Looking for peace · Looking for peace

Well my husband is now in rehab for the second time for his alcoholism. He was in a horrible state when they came to get him today. I should be relieved - but I'm just so sad. I know I didn't cause it, but how sad To see such destruction. I love him, but I can't do this anymore. He doesn't really realize tha...

sweeetr · sweeetr

My AH is a high functioning alcoholic. He shouldve hit rock bottom when his EXAGF overdosed and he found her. She was the worse of the two of their addictive lives. So it was easier to distract ppl from how sick he was also. He now holds a very good job, but alcohol (and when he "quits drinking"...

invinciblesummer · invinciblesummer

Hello everyone. I'm having a difficult time making a decision and was wondering if anyone could share any similar experiences. My father is a very unpredictable alcoholic. Growing up he would drink and wrestle my mom in front of my sister and me, when we were teenagers he would push her and pin her unti...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

It breaks my heart to have to go to court to prevent my STBXH from getting spousal support from me. After 30 years of marriage, we have to allow strangers (my lawyer and the judge- my AH currently has no one representing him) to make decisions about our finances. My STBXH looked horrible in court today. H...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I have been in Al-Anon for a little over 9 years. When asked how do I help my child I have always shared what (I thought) worked for me. Things like I shut down the Bank of Mom I stopped rescuing giving him the dignity to grow up. etc All of this made good common sense until July 13, 2012. That is the date I w...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I have been on here for months, gone to 2 Al Anon meetings and thought I was "getting it". I wasn't. The words were there and I was hearing them and knew them, but not completely. Had another breakdown in front of the wife last night. I don't consider it a failure or lost cause. The whole ti...

Andrea91 · Andrea91

Im new at this... Over the past couple of years, doctors and nurses in emergency rooms have taken me aside and handed me Al Anon family group flyers. They begged me to go, to talk, to listen. In truth, the thought of talking about my alcoholic dad was very frightening. My dad has been an alcoholic for near...

tortuga · tortuga

...because that's what alcoholics do. 4 months 'dry'...without the guidance of a program, an emotional rollercoaster for him, and all the people he's in contact with. Including me. I have been reading and coming back , not much posting lately, because there is not always the need to analyze it all, I...

RR67 · RR67

Hi I can't make a meeting would some one care to talk to me private

Jozie · Jozie

It Truly has been a Tough last 10days... I know this time of Year brings out the More "Crazy's" then we are use to on a regular basis, at least it seems true for me! Last week putting our young friend to rest was Tough! And to know that Addiction WON again, is Heart Breaking... However, His Pain i...

rellik · rellik

I went ot a family counselor the other day. The first thing she wanted to talk about was my understanding of alcoholism and if I had any questions about it. Hell yeah! Why, with the alcohol in my family and the abuse I went through as a child am I able to drink then stop when I want to and not drink for months ti...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well all the calling has stopped so I'm guessing he's drinking again. But here I go...thinking way to much about it. I'm just writing this to keep myself honest and to stay on my side of the street. It's like I have to answer to someone ( MIP )..... It's also helps me to THINK !!! about what I'm doin...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

I have noticed lately that my husband looks like he is 8 to 10 months pregnant. Now, I am not a doctor, but I am pretty sure it is because his liver is enlarged. He is drinking at least 1/2 a case of beer every night and when it isn't a work night, he drinks even more. I frantically called his mother this mor...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I was so proud of the way I handled things! I sat down and told my AH: He has started breakin boundaries I have set. I see personality traits developing in our son that are not healthy(I gave examples And how they mimmicted my AH behaviors) 1-I said there will be no alcohol or drinking at this house. My son...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I haven't been working my program at all for the last 3 weeks. I've totally slacked off. The flu, a bronchial infection before that, and then a new puppy have thrown my schedule for a loop. Oh, and throw in the holidays and I'm beside myself. AH and I have been going to marriage counseling weekly. Thi...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Ok, so last night the wife and I went to a Christmas party. We were invited by a friend of mine and there were a few people from my workout class there that I knew. The wife knew really no one. She had met the invitee twice before (who is a woman, not that it really matters). The wife originally really did...

kelseyg32792 · kelseyg32792

My boyfriend is my world. He is the one that I know God made for me. After we had been together for just over half a year is when I discovered that he was an alcoholic. Now about once a month he goes through a vicious cycle of leaving me.. Because he says that I am too good for him and I deserve better. He tells me...

Looking for peace · Looking for peace

My relapsed alcoholic husband finally ask me to call to get him into rehab again. This will be the second time. He started drinking about 4 months ago after being sober a year and is now To the point where he misses work and is passed out most of the time. What do I yell my 6 and 8 year old about where daddy...

AngieP · AngieP

I've been in a relationship for 28 months, living with a lifelong A. He & I seemed to click from the moment we met & our relationship progressed quickly. My ABF/ finance also suffers from mental issue, he is a cutter & often suicidal but those episodes were always fueled by alcohol. He is co...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I am upstairs right now, while my AH sits downstairs, drinking and watching TV. He came up to tell me something, and I had a Facebook game up on my computer screen. He said "oh, you're playing a game?" and I responded that yes, I had been looking at my mom's Facebook page. Then I started to cr...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I have read 4-5 recommended books and I find helpful interesting things that apply to me in each of them. My question however. Is when my husband comes home and starts drinking a couple beers. I'm not sure how to handle it. Or can I just ignore that behaviour. Going to another room or leaving causes huge...

imom · imom

Last night was a practice of letting go for me. After 7 hours of waiting for him to come home, he came in the house intoxicated (shocker!) I said hello to him and he started to get defensive immediately. He said, "Go ahead....yell at me." I did not respond. That is a huge step for me! He ke...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi everyone I'm learning a lot but I'm still sad. I can't seen to get myself together and get a life. I work, sleep, eat and go to meetings working my program but not much else. I didn't even want christmas around here but I decided to try something so I got a little tree I had out in storage and decoration...

twladybug · twladybug

I went to my first alanon meeting 2 nights ago and it felt great. At times I feel the recovering alocholic I live with sucks the life right out of me. I start the day in a great mood, feeling good. Then the constant sarcasm and unemotional conversations drain me. Why is it that nothing I do is right? Every qu...

nmike · nmike

This is not my best season but I am getting better thanks to our Alanon principles, literature, meetings, sponsors, and everyone's heartfelt experience, strength, and hope. Update on Nancy: I applied for a new job in a new state, interviewed in June, accepted the job in July, moved in August (after...

Jen · Jen

I had a minor upset with my Mom today. She has been trying to quit smoking for, I don't know, a few months, I guess. She goes through these fazes where she talks about it, but doesn't get very far. I have made many suggestions about resources that she could take advantage of to help herself, but she hasn't l...

Overcome · Overcome

After reading "cinders" post yesterday on Struggling with attempting to have no contact, I have done a lot of introspection on my own life and why it has been so hard for me to not answer my ex's phone calls, emails, and other attempts to contact me in the past. A little background on me firs...

jules · jules

New to this, and there is no one I can ask. I am a 50 year old professional who defined myself as a Mom. My husband and I have been raising 2 kids, 14 yr old Daughter and 15 year old son, in a wonderful neighborhood and a beautiful home. This summer our life tilted on its axis, and our kids became unrecogni...

oldbeforemytime · oldbeforemytime

I am new to this, I have an alcoholic father and it is passed down through generations. How does one deal with verbal abuse, emotional manipulation and the fact that they don't see it as a problem? I am really at the end of my rope, do I cut all ties, do I hand him over to authorities, do I keep my relationshi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I experienced something that I have never experienced before in my life last night. I sat in our local courthouse & listened to over 350 names read that have passed away over the years in my community. One special thing happened that I will cherish the rest of my life. My dad never lived up here but th...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

I am holding my breath, I have not reacted but I am really wanting some ES&H, experience strength and hope.... My 17 year old son wanted to buy his girlfriend a watch for Christmas. I thought ok $75 tops, he wanted to buy her a Coach watch. This is his first girlfriend and they have been dating a year, f...

imom · imom

I just want to thank all of you for sharing your posts. I am reading them for comfort and reassurance as I wait for my AH to come home. He went to visit his dad, with whom he always drinks. I know he is going to come home at the very least with a buzz. I am anxious and I keep telling myself to live and let go. ...

elizabeth · elizabeth

DO’S AND DON’TS DO’S Forgive Be honest with yourself Be humble Take it easy – tension is harmful Play – find recreation and hobbies Keep on trying whenever you fail Learn the facts about alcoholism Attend Al-Anon meetings often Pray DON’TS &nb...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Change in Action (Preview) When I came into recovery I said I was gonna change. After I went through the 12 steps and 3 more years of practicing the latter steps, it became claer to me that I needed to stop being an adult child wrapped into the insanity, chaos and control of my parents who hav enever been willing to seek recovery or he...	WorkingThroughIt	4	386	Dec 23, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	My dilemma (Preview) Im back on the daughter/granddaughter thing today. Backstory is my alcoholic/addict daughter chose to give up custody of her daughter to us and leave and go back to Michigan and had to come right back. So she came ack, under the understood condition that she live somewhere else so she can grow up and be...	AlAnonDave	3	344	Dec 22, 2012 by AlAnonDave
	The cherry on top of my already crappiest few days in a long time! (Preview) So Wednsday night my 14 year old daughter went to a nearby church at 7 pm for youth group and I called her at 9:30 to see if her and her friend were going to be coming home soon. She said something really bad happened and I needed to pick them up. So I did and she didn't want to talk about it until i dropped off her...	Breakingfree	5	500	Dec 22, 2012 by pinkchip
	I ask for a prayer tonight (Preview) I come here to ask for some prayers that I will have the strengh and courage to sit and listen and have a loving and kind meeting with my son and his sponsors. We will be attending a AA speaker meeting before and visit afterwards. Please pray that my son will come...not sure at this time if he will show up. I...	Cathyinaz	5	399	Dec 22, 2012 by hotrod
	Today was harder than I thought possible (Preview) I decided I was ready to send out the divorce papers today. I made a mistake though, I decided to take them by his house and drop them off because he was pretty adament about getting them right away and I wanted an oppurtunity to say good bye. He has been denying me that this whole time and it has been hard...	cinders	4	346	Dec 22, 2012 by cinders
	What a waste of time. (Preview) I am feeling a mixture of anger and frustration, with a little "just go to hell" thrown in. I'm trying not to give a damn, but its hard. This evening just my husband and I are home. It could have been nice. It should have been nice. But he started drinking this afternoon and I could tell it would...	Umutlu	2	734	Dec 22, 2012 by Jerry F
	Daily meetings (Preview) Is there a page on here to find where the meetings are	RR67	2	356	Dec 22, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Anger (Preview) When I hear the sound of the ice jingling around in the glass, I just want to scream. Her speech begins to slur and she starts to get beligerant. I have alot of issues with anger and having her here like that is almost unbearable. I can feel myself about to break. I know when it happens it ain't gonna be prett...	StargazerLily	6	320	Dec 22, 2012 by Breakingfree
	oops i did it again (Preview) so i've had a good week or two with my A. I didn' t think everything was fine, but I felt better, calmer, like life might be OK. Last night she went out, didn't let me know where she was, probably drank, and this morning was acting like everything is fine. Thin Things are not fine. I'm not fine. I told her sh...	Lyne	3	539	Dec 22, 2012 by Pushka
	My Chuckle for the Day... ;) (Preview) Ok, I Hope No One Finds this offensive, but I read this & Had a Chuckle and thought maybe you would too... I Remember going thru this with my Mother when I was Drinking as a Young Teen... She didn't catch me Often, but when she did, this is about how it made me feel... Yet the "Insanity" I was...	Jozie	2	316	Dec 22, 2012 by Cathyinaz
	madness pure madness (Preview) I am so anxious about today & whether I should post again about my dad's death this time last year. I also would like to change my Facebook profile picture to a picture of him. Maybe it is just madness to try to do something I don't know how to do! I have a friend who may be able to show me how to do these thin...	Hoot Nanny	1	381	Dec 22, 2012 by AngieP
	Triggering topics during meeting (Preview) Hi, I'm new here, but I've been regularly going to Al-Anon meetings for a couple months now. I'm so grateful for the meetings and I love the three regular meetings I go to each week. I've been working with a sponsor and I'm slowly starting to notice a difference in me. My Tuesday night meeting is my favori...	dinolux	8	676	Dec 22, 2012 by Smukke
	selfish??? (Preview) maybe some of you read my post a few days earlier... I had explored a new way of detaching by hanging up on my boyfriend when he said 'I'm drunk...' and had a more or less quiet sleep..at least more quiet than what had always followed my usual arguing with him endlessly in that state of mind, because I got wo...	tortuga	6	357	Dec 21, 2012 by Jill Church
	Frustrated... (Preview) Having a rough patch lately. I am depressed most of the time, except when I am at work. Last night I couldn't even enjoy spending time with our 20 month old grandson. The wife asks me what is wrong and I reply I am just sad. I start to cry. I have other issues in my life that I am trying to deal with. I thin...	hdftby100	6	353	Dec 21, 2012 by pinkchip
	My Wifes has been meeting a guy from rehab for dinner....I dont know what to do..... (Preview) Help....Im really struggling with this one..... My wife told me she met with someone she met in re-hab for supper.....I understand that she needs her new friends to talk to but i have a really big problem with her meeting him for dinner.....He is only 21 and my wife is 40....She told me that he likes hims...	mike3b	15	700	Dec 21, 2012 by Jozie
	Can they change? (Preview) In reading some of these posts, I get the idea that true change and recovery is very hard to come by. My husband is in rehab - his second attempt. The last four months of his relapse have been hell. He is not abusive, just depressed and self destructive and absent when drinking. It is so hard to know what t...	Looking for peace	11	515	Dec 21, 2012 by Jozie
	Just for today..... (Preview) I work with a woman that does notary, so I finally was able to get the divorce papers back from her last night. I have them in hand and just could not get myself to put put them in the mailbox to him today. I know he is chomping at the bit and demanding they get sent to him asap, even saying to drop them in his ma...	cinders	4	478	Dec 21, 2012 by Jozie
	Alcoholic finds doc to prescribe pills (Preview) How cool is that. I come home to stoned like person passed out instead of watching child cuz now has rx's and alcohol. Wth	sweeetr	5	510	Dec 21, 2012 by Jozie
	I feel free tonight (Preview) I don't know why, perhaps airing issues with my daughter/granddaughter, or what the specific issue is, I simply feel liberated. That and working hard at just being me and loving myself just as I am and working alanon principals- I guess it's been a burden off. I don't have a thing bothering me and that'...	AlAnonDave	2	292	Dec 21, 2012 by Jozie
	insanity running rampant (Preview) Ok...so tonight, my AH drove both of my children, and another child in a carpool and when he came home, I could smell the A on him. I did not want to fight, but I also wanted to make it very clear that I would not accept him putting any children in danger by drinking or driving. I simply said, if you're going...	imom	16	695	Dec 21, 2012 by Pushka
	Meeting tonight (Preview) After my drama today I went to a meeting I normally don't attend. Was really nice and I was able to talk and enjoy the followship. One of the women I had know from two years ago was there and we talked alot. She wants me to chair the meetings in January. I said I didn't think I was ready but she said we will he...	Cathyinaz	1	313	Dec 21, 2012 by Overcome
	broken heart (Preview) I wish I could find answers. I wish I knew if the problem is alcholism or if we really just have a dysfunctional relationship. My recovering A broke up again with me this morning. This has happened 4 or 5 times over the last year. Every other time he later said he still loves me and wants to keep working at it...	twladybug	4	571	Dec 21, 2012 by twladybug
	Son is drinking again (Preview) I can only say I didn't cry, I ddin't scream, I didn't get depressed I only prayed for God to help him. ( Thought he was doing good in AA ) I was mislead again. AS told me things tonight that would in the past put me in the hospital but now I was OK. He is very sick and not in his right mind and also to stop the al...	Cathyinaz	8	582	Dec 21, 2012 by el-cee
	Newbie... at a loss (Preview) Hey all, This is my first communication in any way with Al Anon. I am 29 years old, happily married with a daughter and another one on the way. I have my dream job and the best friends anyone could ask for. My life is perfect in every way but one, my family. I grew up being taught that alcohol was a way to party a...	Rich JHU	5	533	Dec 20, 2012 by pinkchip
	I want to say something... (Preview) I want to say something inspirational but I don't have a lot of time. Just remember this: There is absolutely nothing that your HP & you cannot do together. You are not insignificant. You are important & worth thinking of & being loved. This time of year we remember those we love. We give wh...	Hoot Nanny	3	453	Dec 20, 2012 by Jen
	Daughter (Preview) I'm opening up for the first time about this difficult situation. Seeing as how I'm much worse at taking advice than giving it, I could use some of my own medicine... Long story short- I have a bipolar daughter who has wreaked havoc in my life and my wife's since day one. Once she got a few friends in High...	AlAnonDave	8	726	Dec 20, 2012 by Magster
	Trying (Preview) today is the day I will go to meetings and try to meet p like me. I'm going to try to look at today for today and not think about yesterday . I tend to live the past issues and make them my everyday priorety. In the present day. I need to reprogram my brain try to be positive . I just want what ever normal is .	RR67	6	389	Dec 20, 2012 by nmike
	He is in rehab - I should be relieved (Preview) Well my husband is now in rehab for the second time for his alcoholism. He was in a horrible state when they came to get him today. I should be relieved - but I'm just so sad. I know I didn't cause it, but how sad To see such destruction. I love him, but I can't do this anymore. He doesn't really realize tha...	Looking for peace	5	353	Dec 20, 2012 by Auntyaya
	im just curious on high functioning alcoholics (Preview) My AH is a high functioning alcoholic. He shouldve hit rock bottom when his EXAGF overdosed and he found her. She was the worse of the two of their addictive lives. So it was easier to distract ppl from how sick he was also. He now holds a very good job, but alcohol (and when he "quits drinking"...	sweeetr	8	628	Dec 19, 2012 by sweeetr
	home for the holidays? (Preview) Hello everyone. I'm having a difficult time making a decision and was wondering if anyone could share any similar experiences. My father is a very unpredictable alcoholic. Growing up he would drink and wrestle my mom in front of my sister and me, when we were teenagers he would push her and pin her unti...	invinciblesummer	4	468	Dec 19, 2012 by invinciblesummer
	Court Hearing Today (Preview) It breaks my heart to have to go to court to prevent my STBXH from getting spousal support from me. After 30 years of marriage, we have to allow strangers (my lawyer and the judge- my AH currently has no one representing him) to make decisions about our finances. My STBXH looked horrible in court today. H...	Green Eyes	6	576	Dec 19, 2012 by hotrod
	How do I pass the message (Preview) I have been in Al-Anon for a little over 9 years. When asked how do I help my child I have always shared what (I thought) worked for me. Things like I shut down the Bank of Mom I stopped rescuing giving him the dignity to grow up. etc All of this made good common sense until July 13, 2012. That is the date I w...	Mobirdie	8	611	Dec 19, 2012 by Ness
	I thought I was "getting it". (Preview) I have been on here for months, gone to 2 Al Anon meetings and thought I was "getting it". I wasn't. The words were there and I was hearing them and knew them, but not completely. Had another breakdown in front of the wife last night. I don't consider it a failure or lost cause. The whole ti...	hdftby100	8	677	Dec 19, 2012 by maryjane
	Newbie (Preview) Im new at this... Over the past couple of years, doctors and nurses in emergency rooms have taken me aside and handed me Al Anon family group flyers. They begged me to go, to talk, to listen. In truth, the thought of talking about my alcoholic dad was very frightening. My dad has been an alcoholic for near...	Andrea91	4	442	Dec 19, 2012 by Andrea91
	ABF picked up drinking yesterday... (Preview) ...because that's what alcoholics do. 4 months 'dry'...without the guidance of a program, an emotional rollercoaster for him, and all the people he's in contact with. Including me. I have been reading and coming back , not much posting lately, because there is not always the need to analyze it all, I...	tortuga	7	558	Dec 19, 2012 by hotrod
	... (Preview) Hi I can't make a meeting would some one care to talk to me private	RR67	2	510	Dec 19, 2012 by RR67
	THANK YOU AL-ANON/ACOA (Preview) It Truly has been a Tough last 10days... I know this time of Year brings out the More "Crazy's" then we are use to on a regular basis, at least it seems true for me! Last week putting our young friend to rest was Tough! And to know that Addiction WON again, is Heart Breaking... However, His Pain i...	Jozie	3	453	Dec 19, 2012 by hotrod
	New level of understanding! (Preview) I went ot a family counselor the other day. The first thing she wanted to talk about was my understanding of alcoholism and if I had any questions about it. Hell yeah! Why, with the alcohol in my family and the abuse I went through as a child am I able to drink then stop when I want to and not drink for months ti...	rellik	4	461	Dec 18, 2012 by Jozie
	OK.....stay on your side of the street (Preview) Well all the calling has stopped so I'm guessing he's drinking again. But here I go...thinking way to much about it. I'm just writing this to keep myself honest and to stay on my side of the street. It's like I have to answer to someone ( MIP )..... It's also helps me to THINK !!! about what I'm doin...	Cathyinaz	5	696	Dec 18, 2012 by Zimmy
	Intervention (Preview) I have noticed lately that my husband looks like he is 8 to 10 months pregnant. Now, I am not a doctor, but I am pretty sure it is because his liver is enlarged. He is drinking at least 1/2 a case of beer every night and when it isn't a work night, he drinks even more. I frantically called his mother this mor...	almostgivenup	3	367	Dec 18, 2012 by pinkchip
	Re established boundaries (Preview) I was so proud of the way I handled things! I sat down and told my AH: He has started breakin boundaries I have set. I see personality traits developing in our son that are not healthy(I gave examples And how they mimmicted my AH behaviors) 1-I said there will be no alcohol or drinking at this house. My son...	sweeetr	5	407	Dec 18, 2012 by Pushka
	Whew! I'm plumb tired (Preview) I haven't been working my program at all for the last 3 weeks. I've totally slacked off. The flu, a bronchial infection before that, and then a new puppy have thrown my schedule for a loop. Oh, and throw in the holidays and I'm beside myself. AH and I have been going to marriage counseling weekly. Thi...	ilovedogs	8	530	Dec 18, 2012 by Pushka
	Different situation to me (Preview) Ok, so last night the wife and I went to a Christmas party. We were invited by a friend of mine and there were a few people from my workout class there that I knew. The wife knew really no one. She had met the invitee twice before (who is a woman, not that it really matters). The wife originally really did...	hdftby100	6	453	Dec 18, 2012 by rellik
	Alcoholic boyfriend help please (Preview) My boyfriend is my world. He is the one that I know God made for me. After we had been together for just over half a year is when I discovered that he was an alcoholic. Now about once a month he goes through a vicious cycle of leaving me.. Because he says that I am too good for him and I deserve better. He tells me...	kelseyg32792	10	9582	Dec 18, 2012 by hotrod
	What do I tell my kids (Preview) My relapsed alcoholic husband finally ask me to call to get him into rehab again. This will be the second time. He started drinking about 4 months ago after being sober a year and is now To the point where he misses work and is passed out most of the time. What do I yell my 6 and 8 year old about where daddy...	Looking for peace	6	500	Dec 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	Newbie... In pain & confusion (Preview) I've been in a relationship for 28 months, living with a lifelong A. He & I seemed to click from the moment we met & our relationship progressed quickly. My ABF/ finance also suffers from mental issue, he is a cutter & often suicidal but those episodes were always fueled by alcohol. He is co...	AngieP	4	500	Dec 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	You have got to be kidding me (Preview) I am upstairs right now, while my AH sits downstairs, drinking and watching TV. He came up to tell me something, and I had a Facebook game up on my computer screen. He said "oh, you're playing a game?" and I responded that yes, I had been looking at my mom's Facebook page. Then I started to cr...	stephaniej	2	372	Dec 17, 2012 by Zimmy
	Question from experience please (Preview) I have read 4-5 recommended books and I find helpful interesting things that apply to me in each of them. My question however. Is when my husband comes home and starts drinking a couple beers. I'm not sure how to handle it. Or can I just ignore that behaviour. Going to another room or leaving causes huge...	sweeetr	5	522	Dec 17, 2012 by kaybee
	I did it! (Preview) Last night was a practice of letting go for me. After 7 hours of waiting for him to come home, he came in the house intoxicated (shocker!) I said hello to him and he started to get defensive immediately. He said, "Go ahead....yell at me." I did not respond. That is a huge step for me! He ke...	imom	6	453	Dec 17, 2012 by nmike
	It's raining and I'm sad (Preview) Hi everyone I'm learning a lot but I'm still sad. I can't seen to get myself together and get a life. I work, sleep, eat and go to meetings working my program but not much else. I didn't even want christmas around here but I decided to try something so I got a little tree I had out in storage and decoration...	Cathyinaz	10	708	Dec 17, 2012 by nmike
	living with recovering A (Preview) I went to my first alanon meeting 2 nights ago and it felt great. At times I feel the recovering alocholic I live with sucks the life right out of me. I start the day in a great mood, feeling good. Then the constant sarcasm and unemotional conversations drain me. Why is it that nothing I do is right? Every qu...	twladybug	4	570	Dec 17, 2012 by nmike
	Best to you all (Preview) This is not my best season but I am getting better thanks to our Alanon principles, literature, meetings, sponsors, and everyone's heartfelt experience, strength, and hope. Update on Nancy: I applied for a new job in a new state, interviewed in June, accepted the job in July, moved in August (after...	nmike	4	384	Dec 17, 2012 by Jerry F
	My Mom cigarettes smoking (Preview) I had a minor upset with my Mom today. She has been trying to quit smoking for, I don't know, a few months, I guess. She goes through these fazes where she talks about it, but doesn't get very far. I have made many suggestions about resources that she could take advantage of to help herself, but she hasn't l...	Jen	4	588	Dec 16, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Trying to live up to an Ideal (Preview) After reading "cinders" post yesterday on Struggling with attempting to have no contact, I have done a lot of introspection on my own life and why it has been so hard for me to not answer my ex's phone calls, emails, and other attempts to contact me in the past. A little background on me firs...	Overcome	8	534	Dec 16, 2012 by Overcome
	Do I belong here? (Preview) New to this, and there is no one I can ask. I am a 50 year old professional who defined myself as a Mom. My husband and I have been raising 2 kids, 14 yr old Daughter and 15 year old son, in a wonderful neighborhood and a beautiful home. This summer our life tilted on its axis, and our kids became unrecogni...	jules	6	498	Dec 16, 2012 by Desirae
	My father... (Preview) I am new to this, I have an alcoholic father and it is passed down through generations. How does one deal with verbal abuse, emotional manipulation and the fact that they don't see it as a problem? I am really at the end of my rope, do I cut all ties, do I hand him over to authorities, do I keep my relationshi...	oldbeforemytime	4	374	Dec 16, 2012 by Tarase
	Tree of memories & me! (Preview) I experienced something that I have never experienced before in my life last night. I sat in our local courthouse & listened to over 350 names read that have passed away over the years in my community. One special thing happened that I will cherish the rest of my life. My dad never lived up here but th...	Hoot Nanny	1	344	Dec 16, 2012 by Jen
	Having a hard time breathing - am I over reacting? (Preview) I am holding my breath, I have not reacted but I am really wanting some ES&H, experience strength and hope.... My 17 year old son wanted to buy his girlfriend a watch for Christmas. I thought ok $75 tops, he wanted to buy her a Coach watch. This is his first girlfriend and they have been dating a year, f...	RobinKSC	3	411	Dec 16, 2012 by Jen
	thankful (Preview) I just want to thank all of you for sharing your posts. I am reading them for comfort and reassurance as I wait for my AH to come home. He went to visit his dad, with whom he always drinks. I know he is going to come home at the very least with a buzz. I am anxious and I keep telling myself to live and let go. ...	imom	3	362	Dec 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	The DO's and DON'Ts of Al-anon (Preview) DO’S AND DON’TS DO’S Forgive Be honest with yourself Be humble Take it easy – tension is harmful Play – find recreation and hobbies Keep on trying whenever you fail Learn the facts about alcoholism Attend Al-Anon meetings often Pray DON’TS &nb...	elizabeth	4	879	Dec 16, 2012 by cla
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.