Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

1976love · 1976love

So this morning, my AH who has been going to AA faithfully for the past 4 weeks said his New Year resolution is not to hate anymore. We have one family member in particular that takes alot of strength to like and even understand. He is always spewing hate towards this person and won't stop. I was so happ...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am truly excited about this year for the first time in a long time. I feel new and fresh about my life and where it is headed. I am in nursing school and will graduate in 2014 and I feel like I am finally living up to my potential and not afraid to test myself. I feel like I have scraped off enough layers of my s...

AngieP · AngieP

I finally got "co dependent no more " yesterday & just reading the preface turned me into a puddle. I'm am guilty of it all! Such a hard read for me but I'm going to continue reading.

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I'm ready to let 2012 go. This is the year that I decided to end my 30 year marriage to my AH. This has been one of the most difficult decisions that I have ever had make in my life and I am trusting in my HP to show me the way. Here is one of my favorite sayings that I ran across this year: "In order to get to th...

texasgal · texasgal

Its been awhile since I last posted. My AH is still the same. Even tho he is sober he still makes irrational decisions and lies all the time. I have picked up a 2nd job for the holidays and I am saving up my money. I want to trust my AH but I just cant seem too. He left for a few hours and when he came back He said he h...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

Happy New year to everyone celebrating. It's my hope that God blesses each and everyone including the active alcoholic/addict in your life with newfound peace and serenity. I have a feeling it's going to be a whole new life for me, just coming into alanon and accepting the new prospect of a spiritual l...

cinders · cinders

Silly funny thing happened to me today. After taking a walk outside on my last break, I returned to the office and when opening a door, received a very large shock. I dread touching anything metal in the winter because I constantly get shocked. Guess I just have an electrifying personality! Anyh...

imom · imom

I have decided that my resolution for the new year will be to practice detachment on a daily basis. This is extremely hard for me. If anyone has any advice or tips, I would love to hear them. Thanks for being there for me all this time and Happy New Year to all!

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

On Friday I will have 27 years in the program. I am so grateful for all this time. I am happy to have all the friends I have met in this beautiful program. I have also been blessed w/ you all on MIP. I wouldn't have had such a successful mostly uneventful years w/o you. I am grateful for uneventful years becau...

littlehob · littlehob

Hi, My partner is away from home and is staying with relatives for a family wedding. Before she went she had started to drink again. She is In AA and was off it for a year following rehab, takes the oils and has an implant. These are obviously not working. She has been asked to leave one relatives house bec...

el-cee · el-cee

I want to fill my blank pages with awareness of myself and my flaws. I want to take more care of my health and well being. I want to be less judgemental and resentful. I want to be kinder and calmer. Not too much to ask for!

imom · imom

I cannot stop feeling the urge to confront my AH's mother about giving him percocets and methodone. I am so angry!!!! I know it will do no good to confront her, but this urge is not going away. I want to tell her that she is no longer welcome in my house and that she will no longer try to have a relationship...

Findinghope · Findinghope

Well, things were going too well, I guess. My AH had nearly 4 months of sobriety (not much, I know but big for him ) and then relapsed twice over the holidays. What makes the all the more dramatic is tonight was the most recent while we're out if town for a friends wedding on New Years Eve. We flew separately...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

There is work going on with my exH i'm not involved in. Between his new therapist (well old but hasn't seen him in years) and the aunt who called him out on the abuse and took away his last standing ability to lie about me in court and lie about his abuse of the kids - I hear through the aunt that he's quit his v...

daisy chain · daisy chain

Hi, I'm new here but not new to Alanon have been going to meetings for 27 months now. It was 2 years in September, for some reason I have to be specific and say 27 months those extra 3 months from the 2 years need to be mentioned. I know there is a reading about been specific in the Courage to Change book. It is a...

Desirae · Desirae

sooo... I live in a small town with a very large extended family. Many of them I don't even know. never got to know. and really don't have the desire to get to know. We are speaking of my biological father's side of the family. Since I started Al-Anon on-line, I have attempted to go to face to face meetings....

tortuga · tortuga

I draw my finishing line on Christmas in my realtionship with the ABF. Now I am hoem in my hometown for the holidays, far away. and I feel I am breathing again. But he sends me texts and emails, an even if he agreed to break up after the huge fight, he now seems to be back in denial again, and he also thinks he h...

Number30 · Number30

This is my first time posting, although I've been reading the forum daily for a few weeks. I am married to my AddictH and started going to Al-Anon a few weeks ago when he relapsed after a week of being clean. During that withdrawl he begged for help (this was only his second major withdrawl since he began u...

broken apart · broken apart

Last night I had a hard time going to sleep because my AH. Wanted me only. Kids come to the locked bedroom door because now that he is 45 days sober he started new routines that make me feel trapped again. The kids don't bother me now because dad says leave her alone your stressing her out and shut and locks d...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I am determined to continue working my program in 2013. I have learned so much from Al Anon and from these boards and from the wonderful supportive people here on MIP. I came home from being away 4 days and found chaos in the house. Broken framed print from Italy that I cherished and got custom framed....

imom · imom

I am just wondering what the alanon steps would suggest I do when I found a bottle of percocet and methadone. Of course, I called him out on it and started a big family fight.Of course he insisted that he is not addicted and of course he asked me to be in charge of them and to hand them out to him when needed to...

Abtmc · Abtmc

I'm new and I'm here bc I'm desperate for support and advice. I just don't know what to do. My husband loves to drink -always has. It's led to frequent fights between us as Ive realized how he just can't/won't stop. He says he loves it, knows it's a problem but never wants to be one of those people who don't...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I've been away from this board for about a year and a half. I've saved up a whole pile of ESH, thinking I'd come back here one experience at a time, but a recent experience changes that. I first came 6 years ago as my exAH's alcoholism came to light, and he was having an affair. He entered a strict 5 yr program...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning everyone I called my son last night and we had a nice talk. He was sober so it was nice. We talked about him and AA and he has decided not to attend which I was disappointed about this but it's his decision. What I have have to do is change more. I don't need to avoid him anymore. I need to ex...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

MOM is home & I think it is going to be better. She has been gone for about a month & just got home on Thurs. I am waiting for her to arrive at the library so we can get together after I get off of here. I really missed her this time & think I will have a new appreciation of her. It may not last but I am go...

rehprof · rehprof

I'd have no luck at all. Blizzard here in New England...so this a.m. I spent 2 hours shoveling and clearing snow (it cost $50 to $75 a storm for a plow truck to come). My house is trashed with Christmas crap...wrapping paper, knick knacks... I have hundreds of papers to grade...as grades are due Sunday....

hotrod · hotrod

Step 6 has been posted to the Step Work Board http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52063114/step-6-alanon/ Feel free to join us and share your ESH

AllieinAlanon · AllieinAlanon

Because this morning, instead of trying to be there for my roommate when I needed to be there for myself today, I was there for myself. He was in a stinky mood again and I did not buy it. I simply said good morning and then went back to my computer and my work. I am sorry for his struggle, but I have to let him st...

abbyalana · abbyalana

I texted (our only form of communication) the exAH that due to his continued alcohol and drug abuse issues and per the therapists recommendation that visitation would cease. He could take me in for contempt of court and we would go have a discussion with Donna (she's our mediator.) I spoke with the m...

Kim8663 · Kim8663

Hi all I am new to this site. My husband has been an alcoholic for many many years. Last August he got really sick to the point where if he continued drinking he would die. He finally decided to get help and he has been sober for just a little over a year . With the Christmas holidays he had a relapse.... He is s...

karren26 · karren26

After 22 years of drinking, raising kids and hubby having horrible relationship with my son. Which was a handful to say the least. My husband and I got together when my son was 4 months. My husband was on him hard, I was always in the middle. My son in high school stayed away from home as much as he could. Me...

broken apart · broken apart

I feel so dum stupid so confused about everything . Never had a chance to have my own independence . I went from a strong controlled catholic home. To a marrage with a AH. Years of controll and not able to speak unless asked for permission. Took years to say I want a divorce.. That was tough for me. I was divo...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have learned and grown so much since finding al-anon 2 years ago. I have come out of the land of make believe to the land of reality and accept it as it is. I am making my life what I want it to be, I am not waiting for anyone else to make these changes. I am making the changes I can within myself and life just kee...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

Ive only just recently become a member of AlAnon, mostly due to my AA sponsor seeing some problems with me emotionally and having enough insight to see that it was AlAnon & ACOA issues coming up, and Im grateful for that. I had told him I felt guilty asserting myself on my daughter who Ive posted abou...

Pushka · Pushka

There is a new year coming and I felt hopeful in 2011 heading into 2012. I had just been to visit my mom, I was trying to improve my marriage and I felt like ok .. I have a plan coming into the new year. The reality of my new year? I was a year into Alanon and I started attending open AA meetings in Jan as well....

Annie1234 · Annie1234

Hi everyone. I haven't been on for a couple of weeks. My husband went to a few meetings, and then, on December 16th, he went to a football party and drank himself into a stupor. Not only that, but he also drove. I told him the next morning that I was finished with it, and will not tolerate it any longer. ...

uniresearch · uniresearch

Hello,I am new to this community and conducting a research project on parent-child communication during difficult times. I would greatly appreciate anyone who is interested to complete the surveyat the link below. It should not take more than 20 minutes and is completely anonymous and confiden...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I havn't been out to a meeting in awhile with the holidays in full effect. There was a massive snowstorm in my area and my car is burried until tomorrow when I can dig it out Overall the holidays went well. Me and my sister got together with my dad and he lasted the entir...

broken apart · broken apart

It's not him . It's me .

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was just thinking this after the holiday: If I want a change, I have to change the situation. I typically had problems dealing w/ my family again this year. I called them & found myself feeling terrible & very sad. I felt so left out as usual--I live about 900 miles away from them & will prob...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I've shared that my exH (who was dry for 15 years of marraige and is now developing into a fully wet alcoholic) is very abusive to my 3 boys. Years of court fights ended up with CA going with "access to both parents" over the safety of my children. The abuse destroyed my middle son the most, he...

cinders · cinders

Going thru my first days alone since the seperation 6 weeks ago. Kids went to their fathers house yesterday and will not be back till Saturday. I had all these glorious plans to finish unpacking my bedroom and get it painted, now I am stalled and can't seem to find the motivation. Feeling a bit lonely...

el-cee · el-cee

My x ah has been drinking again and I have had very limited contact with him for about 6 mths. Anyway, we spent Xmas day together for the sake of the family. We had a good talk and he is going back to aa and is hoping to get sober again. I believe he really wants to but he often feels justified in drinking due to '...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

For most of the last 20+ years I have been a stay at home mom helping my STBExAH with his business and career. When I met him and quickly got pregnant all those years ago, I was a college student almost ready to graduate with my bachelors degree. However, after a six year marriage to my first exAH I believed...

ambosbeth · ambosbeth

My husband has been an alcoholic ever since we met. He says, you met me like this, so whats the problem. My problem is we have two sons (of whick he adopted from my previous marriage) and a 4 yr old daughter. Currently he is going to AA and trying his best. I go to meetings when I can find the time...which...

oldergal · oldergal

When I think I've had enough and feel I'm sick and tired of this disease, and I don't want to do this anymore I think of this woman... The year 2000 in Mozambique when the Zambezi River flooded and killed 50,000 people 20,000 cattle, destroyed farmland worse flood in 50 years. But a woman survived during...

Onor · Onor

Hi, I have three alcoholics in my life and just turned a year at alanon. Tonight called at 00:29 my youngest and extreemly beloved brother ( who had told me he had a drinking problem & had had a relapse and was desperate about it). He is in town for Christmas, I hadn't seen him drunk as he lives in anothe...

Jerry F · Jerry F

In english that is Merry Christmas and that is how we say it in Hawaii. My heart is full sending this wish along with prayers for you all because of what this Ohana (family) has mean't to me and my recovery. Al-Anon is the "greatest gift" I've been allowed to have and MIP is a big part of the fou...

teachmath · teachmath

I have dated my boyfriend for a year, during which time he finalized his divorce, moved into his own place and got a great job. It was also his first year of sobriety. During this entire year I have helped and supported him to deal with his illness, divorce, kids, even letting him stay here for along per...

Katy · Katy

So now my dear son is behaving like his father and his father has no humility or understanding of how or why he got to be like this, so my husband gave my son money for drink to celibrate christmas and told him to have a good time adn not to let him down, but as we know a drinker cannot regulate his imput and once...

Taylo · Taylo

Help. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic (sober 2 years), and doesn't get along with my parents. He attended family Christmas with me and all went well- he tries really hard. We have two dogs and have been together for a year. We recently lost our jobs (going out of business) and have had some issu...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My neighbor ordered a new garbage can from the store that I sometimes work at. Guess what they gave me for Christmas? They had noticed that the bottom was rotted out of my can and bought me a can, on wheels, with locking lid to keep the dogs out. Ok so I'm floored, blessed, happy, wow. Cheers!

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I happen to deal with a lot of people who perfect manipulation to a science. They will try to get me not to trust myself. I always recognize it and sometimes I do well off-setting it, other times not so much. When someone is trying to manipulate you what are some good Conversation Enders you use?

tired of trying · tired of trying

So my husband had his 5th relaspe in as many years. Spent almost 3 weeks drinking a gallon of rum a day, after the first couple days-I had him move out. So after 3 weeks he gets sick, sobers up and agrees he needs long term treatment as AA by itself hasn't worked-because he stops after a couple months. So he g...

bel25 · bel25

Hi i dont know what to do anymore or what im expecting from posting this really. Here's my story: Im with my husband 6 years married 1 1/2. We have 2 kids together and another 1 on the way. He's sober now 13mths and is attending AA. I attended a couple of Al-anon meetings at the beginning of this year but to b...

Minaret · Minaret

Hi Everyone, Sorry, long post. Just need to get some stuff out. I was just thinking this morning that there must be some kind of message my HP is trying to tell me, although I have had a hard time with faith in a HP over the last ten years. I've been thinking about all the alcoholic...

life_is_good · life_is_good

I have been separated from my husband of 19 yrs after asking him to make the choice of alcohol or his family. I wasn't prepared for his answer that he didn't have a problem and wouldn't stop drinking. I have attended face to face meetings from that day on 4 months ago. I had been lurking on this board lookin...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good read in ODAT for Christmas Day. I'm asked alot about my motives and this passage helped me think on this day when I wanted to call my son and interrogate about how he felt and what he was doing and if he was OK....etc etc etc. I didn't go there! Thank you God.....nice Christmas gift to let go and thi...

orchidlover · orchidlover

In the week leading up to Christmas one of my neighbors died very suddenly. He was an active drug user but most of all he did not take care of himself. His antics, making noise, having people over at all times of the day and night affected me. I was also affected by his "begging" for stuff lik...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

My alcoholic/addict newly sober daughter spent Xmas with us, and I think the reality of us having custody of her child and the fact that she can't live with us was soaking in all weekend. She spent all her energy trying to control the situation, sulking, generally acting miserable the whole time and be...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	new year, new way (Preview) So this morning, my AH who has been going to AA faithfully for the past 4 weeks said his New Year resolution is not to hate anymore. We have one family member in particular that takes alot of strength to like and even understand. He is always spewing hate towards this person and won't stop. I was so happ...	1976love	2	237	Jan 2, 2013 by Tiger2006
	13 is my lucky number and this year just happens to be 2013! (Preview) I am truly excited about this year for the first time in a long time. I feel new and fresh about my life and where it is headed. I am in nursing school and will graduate in 2014 and I feel like I am finally living up to my potential and not afraid to test myself. I feel like I have scraped off enough layers of my s...	Breakingfree	3	270	Jan 2, 2013 by Tiger2006
	Hard reading (Preview) I finally got "co dependent no more " yesterday & just reading the preface turned me into a puddle. I'm am guilty of it all! Such a hard read for me but I'm going to continue reading.	AngieP	6	495	Jan 1, 2013 by pinkchip
	Reflections on 2012 (Preview) I'm ready to let 2012 go. This is the year that I decided to end my 30 year marriage to my AH. This has been one of the most difficult decisions that I have ever had make in my life and I am trusting in my HP to show me the way. Here is one of my favorite sayings that I ran across this year: "In order to get to th...	Green Eyes	6	368	Jan 1, 2013 by pinkchip
	new year (Preview) Its been awhile since I last posted. My AH is still the same. Even tho he is sober he still makes irrational decisions and lies all the time. I have picked up a 2nd job for the holidays and I am saving up my money. I want to trust my AH but I just cant seem too. He left for a few hours and when he came back He said he h...	texasgal	4	229	Jan 1, 2013 by pinkchip
	A new hope (Preview) Happy New year to everyone celebrating. It's my hope that God blesses each and everyone including the active alcoholic/addict in your life with newfound peace and serenity. I have a feeling it's going to be a whole new life for me, just coming into alanon and accepting the new prospect of a spiritual l...	AlAnonDave	3	413	Jan 1, 2013 by hotrod
	Funny end to my day (Preview) Silly funny thing happened to me today. After taking a walk outside on my last break, I returned to the office and when opening a door, received a very large shock. I dread touching anything metal in the winter because I constantly get shocked. Guess I just have an electrifying personality! Anyh...	cinders	6	397	Jan 1, 2013 by Pushka
	new year's resolution (Preview) I have decided that my resolution for the new year will be to practice detachment on a daily basis. This is extremely hard for me. If anyone has any advice or tips, I would love to hear them. Thanks for being there for me all this time and Happy New Year to all!	imom	4	363	Jan 1, 2013 by Pushka
	what the new year brings for me! (Preview) On Friday I will have 27 years in the program. I am so grateful for all this time. I am happy to have all the friends I have met in this beautiful program. I have also been blessed w/ you all on MIP. I wouldn't have had such a successful mostly uneventful years w/o you. I am grateful for uneventful years becau...	Hoot Nanny	1	279	Jan 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	Relapse do I go to the rescue (Preview) Hi, My partner is away from home and is staying with relatives for a family wedding. Before she went she had started to drink again. She is In AA and was off it for a year following rehab, takes the oils and has an implant. These are obviously not working. She has been asked to leave one relatives house bec...	littlehob	4	575	Jan 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	'This year is a book with clean blank pages' (Preview) I want to fill my blank pages with awareness of myself and my flaws. I want to take more care of my health and well being. I want to be less judgemental and resentful. I want to be kinder and calmer. Not too much to ask for!	el-cee	1	348	Jan 1, 2013 by canadianguy
	confrontations (Preview) I cannot stop feeling the urge to confront my AH's mother about giving him percocets and methodone. I am so angry!!!! I know it will do no good to confront her, but this urge is not going away. I want to tell her that she is no longer welcome in my house and that she will no longer try to have a relationship...	imom	8	574	Jan 1, 2013 by Pushka
	Saying goodbye to 2012 with a relapse (Preview) Well, things were going too well, I guess. My AH had nearly 4 months of sobriety (not much, I know but big for him ) and then relapsed twice over the holidays. What makes the all the more dramatic is tonight was the most recent while we're out if town for a friends wedding on New Years Eve. We flew separately...	Findinghope	7	497	Jan 1, 2013 by Findinghope
	New Year is looking bright (Preview) There is work going on with my exH i'm not involved in. Between his new therapist (well old but hasn't seen him in years) and the aunt who called him out on the abuse and took away his last standing ability to lie about me in court and lie about his abuse of the kids - I hear through the aunt that he's quit his v...	AStrongerMe	4	301	Dec 31, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Hi I'm new here. (Preview) Hi, I'm new here but not new to Alanon have been going to meetings for 27 months now. It was 2 years in September, for some reason I have to be specific and say 27 months those extra 3 months from the 2 years need to be mentioned. I know there is a reading about been specific in the Courage to Change book. It is a...	daisy chain	4	352	Dec 31, 2012 by daisy chain
	My F2F meetings turned out to be not so anonymouse... (Preview) sooo... I live in a small town with a very large extended family. Many of them I don't even know. never got to know. and really don't have the desire to get to know. We are speaking of my biological father's side of the family. Since I started Al-Anon on-line, I have attempted to go to face to face meetings....	Desirae	5	498	Dec 31, 2012 by DavidG
	what can I do to keep the peace?...and Happy New Year to all Family! (Preview) I draw my finishing line on Christmas in my realtionship with the ABF. Now I am hoem in my hometown for the holidays, far away. and I feel I am breathing again. But he sends me texts and emails, an even if he agreed to break up after the huge fight, he now seems to be back in denial again, and he also thinks he h...	tortuga	5	391	Dec 31, 2012 by Doozy
	The crossroads - advice needed (Preview) This is my first time posting, although I've been reading the forum daily for a few weeks. I am married to my AddictH and started going to Al-Anon a few weeks ago when he relapsed after a week of being clean. During that withdrawl he begged for help (this was only his second major withdrawl since he began u...	Number30	4	424	Dec 31, 2012 by tired of trying
	Woke up feeling tired (Preview) Last night I had a hard time going to sleep because my AH. Wanted me only. Kids come to the locked bedroom door because now that he is 45 days sober he started new routines that make me feel trapped again. The kids don't bother me now because dad says leave her alone your stressing her out and shut and locks d...	broken apart	5	490	Dec 31, 2012 by imom
	Finding serenity in the new year (Preview) I am determined to continue working my program in 2013. I have learned so much from Al Anon and from these boards and from the wonderful supportive people here on MIP. I came home from being away 4 days and found chaos in the house. Broken framed print from Italy that I cherished and got custom framed....	ilovedogs	4	378	Dec 31, 2012 by Pushka
	alanon perspective (Preview) I am just wondering what the alanon steps would suggest I do when I found a bottle of percocet and methadone. Of course, I called him out on it and started a big family fight.Of course he insisted that he is not addicted and of course he asked me to be in charge of them and to hand them out to him when needed to...	imom	3	357	Dec 31, 2012 by Jerry F
	Pregnant and a husband with an alcohol problem (Preview) I'm new and I'm here bc I'm desperate for support and advice. I just don't know what to do. My husband loves to drink -always has. It's led to frequent fights between us as Ive realized how he just can't/won't stop. He says he loves it, knows it's a problem but never wants to be one of those people who don't...	Abtmc	12	445	Dec 31, 2012 by Findinghope
	Me vs Relapse (Preview) I've been away from this board for about a year and a half. I've saved up a whole pile of ESH, thinking I'd come back here one experience at a time, but a recent experience changes that. I first came 6 years ago as my exAH's alcoholism came to light, and he was having an affair. He entered a strict 5 yr program...	Loupiness	5	464	Dec 31, 2012 by oldergal
	My son and me (Preview) Good Morning everyone I called my son last night and we had a nice talk. He was sober so it was nice. We talked about him and AA and he has decided not to attend which I was disappointed about this but it's his decision. What I have have to do is change more. I don't need to avoid him anymore. I need to ex...	Cathyinaz	6	345	Dec 31, 2012 by sheristeele
	MOM is home & I think... (Preview) MOM is home & I think it is going to be better. She has been gone for about a month & just got home on Thurs. I am waiting for her to arrive at the library so we can get together after I get off of here. I really missed her this time & think I will have a new appreciation of her. It may not last but I am go...	Hoot Nanny	1	428	Dec 30, 2012 by hotrod
	If it weren't for bad luck.... (Preview) I'd have no luck at all. Blizzard here in New England...so this a.m. I spent 2 hours shoveling and clearing snow (it cost $50 to $75 a storm for a plow truck to come). My house is trashed with Christmas crap...wrapping paper, knick knacks... I have hundreds of papers to grade...as grades are due Sunday....	rehprof	8	393	Dec 30, 2012 by Pushka
	Step 6 (Preview) Step 6 has been posted to the Step Work Board http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52063114/step-6-alanon/ Feel free to join us and share your ESH	hotrod	0	248	Dec 29, 2012 by hotrod
	Alanon must be working (Preview) Because this morning, instead of trying to be there for my roommate when I needed to be there for myself today, I was there for myself. He was in a stinky mood again and I did not buy it. I simply said good morning and then went back to my computer and my work. I am sorry for his struggle, but I have to let him st...	AllieinAlanon	2	329	Dec 29, 2012 by Michelle814
	How do I explain this to my 12 year old? (Preview) I texted (our only form of communication) the exAH that due to his continued alcohol and drug abuse issues and per the therapists recommendation that visitation would cease. He could take me in for contempt of court and we would go have a discussion with Donna (she's our mediator.) I spoke with the m...	abbyalana	7	521	Dec 29, 2012 by Desirae
	Help!!! my recoverying alcoholic is on the verge of a relapse (Preview) Hi all I am new to this site. My husband has been an alcoholic for many many years. Last August he got really sick to the point where if he continued drinking he would die. He finally decided to get help and he has been sober for just a little over a year . With the Christmas holidays he had a relapse.... He is s...	Kim8663	4	622	Dec 29, 2012 by pinkchip
	This must be a new phase of the disease (Preview) After 22 years of drinking, raising kids and hubby having horrible relationship with my son. Which was a handful to say the least. My husband and I got together when my son was 4 months. My husband was on him hard, I was always in the middle. My son in high school stayed away from home as much as he could. Me...	karren26	11	768	Dec 29, 2012 by karren26
	Don't have a clear mind (Preview) I feel so dum stupid so confused about everything . Never had a chance to have my own independence . I went from a strong controlled catholic home. To a marrage with a AH. Years of controll and not able to speak unless asked for permission. Took years to say I want a divorce.. That was tough for me. I was divo...	broken apart	3	277	Dec 29, 2012 by hotrod
	I will be okay no matter what! (Preview) I have learned and grown so much since finding al-anon 2 years ago. I have come out of the land of make believe to the land of reality and accept it as it is. I am making my life what I want it to be, I am not waiting for anyone else to make these changes. I am making the changes I can within myself and life just kee...	Breakingfree	6	372	Dec 29, 2012 by wp
	Being a double winner sure is tough... (Preview) Ive only just recently become a member of AlAnon, mostly due to my AA sponsor seeing some problems with me emotionally and having enough insight to see that it was AlAnon & ACOA issues coming up, and Im grateful for that. I had told him I felt guilty asserting myself on my daughter who Ive posted abou...	AlAnonDave	1	372	Dec 29, 2012 by Mobirdie
	New Year coming :) (Preview) There is a new year coming and I felt hopeful in 2011 heading into 2012. I had just been to visit my mom, I was trying to improve my marriage and I felt like ok .. I have a plan coming into the new year. The reality of my new year? I was a year into Alanon and I started attending open AA meetings in Jan as well....	Pushka	3	349	Dec 28, 2012 by Annie1234
	A special Christmas gift. (Preview) Hi everyone. I haven't been on for a couple of weeks. My husband went to a few meetings, and then, on December 16th, he went to a football party and drank himself into a stupor. Not only that, but he also drove. I told him the next morning that I was finished with it, and will not tolerate it any longer. ...	Annie1234	6	272	Dec 28, 2012 by Annie1234
	Research Opportunity (Preview) Hello,I am new to this community and conducting a research project on parent-child communication during difficult times. I would greatly appreciate anyone who is interested to complete the surveyat the link below. It should not take more than 20 minutes and is completely anonymous and confiden...	uniresearch	2	261	Dec 28, 2012 by xeno59
	Just looking for someone to listen/read. (Preview) Hi Everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I havn't been out to a meeting in awhile with the holidays in full effect. There was a massive snowstorm in my area and my car is burried until tomorrow when I can dig it out Overall the holidays went well. Me and my sister got together with my dad and he lasted the entir...	slogan_jim	4	566	Dec 28, 2012 by pinkchip
	- turns into a + which now=. (Preview) It's not him . It's me .	broken apart	13	621	Dec 28, 2012 by broken apart
	If I want it different; I have to MAKE it different! (Preview) I was just thinking this after the holiday: If I want a change, I have to change the situation. I typically had problems dealing w/ my family again this year. I called them & found myself feeling terrible & very sad. I felt so left out as usual--I live about 900 miles away from them & will prob...	Hoot Nanny	3	408	Dec 28, 2012 by Overcome
	HP timing is not always what we expect (Preview) I've shared that my exH (who was dry for 15 years of marraige and is now developing into a fully wet alcoholic) is very abusive to my 3 boys. Years of court fights ended up with CA going with "access to both parents" over the safety of my children. The abuse destroyed my middle son the most, he...	AStrongerMe	3	307	Dec 28, 2012 by Overcome
	I don't want to do this....but I can (Preview) Going thru my first days alone since the seperation 6 weeks ago. Kids went to their fathers house yesterday and will not be back till Saturday. I had all these glorious plans to finish unpacking my bedroom and get it painted, now I am stalled and can't seem to find the motivation. Feeling a bit lonely...	cinders	6	339	Dec 28, 2012 by Pushka
	sober...again! (Preview) My x ah has been drinking again and I have had very limited contact with him for about 6 mths. Anyway, we spent Xmas day together for the sake of the family. We had a good talk and he is going back to aa and is hoping to get sober again. I believe he really wants to but he often feels justified in drinking due to '...	el-cee	5	436	Dec 28, 2012 by tired of trying
	Is it possible that HP has a plan for ME? (Preview) For most of the last 20+ years I have been a stay at home mom helping my STBExAH with his business and career. When I met him and quickly got pregnant all those years ago, I was a college student almost ready to graduate with my bachelors degree. However, after a six year marriage to my first exAH I believed...	TryingToChange	5	437	Dec 28, 2012 by TryingToChange
	What more can I do? (Preview) My husband has been an alcoholic ever since we met. He says, you met me like this, so whats the problem. My problem is we have two sons (of whick he adopted from my previous marriage) and a 4 yr old daughter. Currently he is going to AA and trying his best. I go to meetings when I can find the time...which...	ambosbeth	6	405	Dec 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	Story of flood and Adversity when I feel Defeated.... (Preview) When I think I've had enough and feel I'm sick and tired of this disease, and I don't want to do this anymore I think of this woman... The year 2000 in Mozambique when the Zambezi River flooded and killed 50,000 people 20,000 cattle, destroyed farmland worse flood in 50 years. But a woman survived during...	oldergal	3	299	Dec 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	help, please! terrified for my alcoholic desperate fear protection (Preview) Hi, I have three alcoholics in my life and just turned a year at alanon. Tonight called at 00:29 my youngest and extreemly beloved brother ( who had told me he had a drinking problem & had had a relapse and was desperate about it). He is in town for Christmas, I hadn't seen him drunk as he lives in anothe...	Onor	7	8566	Dec 28, 2012 by orchidlover
	Mele Kalikimaka ... (Preview) In english that is Merry Christmas and that is how we say it in Hawaii. My heart is full sending this wish along with prayers for you all because of what this Ohana (family) has mean't to me and my recovery. Al-Anon is the "greatest gift" I've been allowed to have and MIP is a big part of the fou...	Jerry F	9	419	Dec 28, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Things are not going well after a year (Preview) I have dated my boyfriend for a year, during which time he finalized his divorce, moved into his own place and got a great job. It was also his first year of sobriety. During this entire year I have helped and supported him to deal with his illness, divorce, kids, even letting him stay here for along per...	teachmath	10	416	Dec 27, 2012 by hotrod
	our son (Preview) So now my dear son is behaving like his father and his father has no humility or understanding of how or why he got to be like this, so my husband gave my son money for drink to celibrate christmas and told him to have a good time adn not to let him down, but as we know a drinker cannot regulate his imput and once...	Katy	2	450	Dec 27, 2012 by Cathyinaz
	Christmas Heartbreak (Preview) Help. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic (sober 2 years), and doesn't get along with my parents. He attended family Christmas with me and all went well- he tries really hard. We have two dogs and have been together for a year. We recently lost our jobs (going out of business) and have had some issu...	Taylo	8	523	Dec 27, 2012 by Taylo
	I got a garbage can for christmas! (Preview) My neighbor ordered a new garbage can from the store that I sometimes work at. Guess what they gave me for Christmas? They had noticed that the bottom was rotted out of my can and bought me a can, on wheels, with locking lid to keep the dogs out. Ok so I'm floored, blessed, happy, wow. Cheers!	likemyheart	5	490	Dec 27, 2012 by hotrod
	Alanon Tools - "Conversation Enders" (Preview) I happen to deal with a lot of people who perfect manipulation to a science. They will try to get me not to trust myself. I always recognize it and sometimes I do well off-setting it, other times not so much. When someone is trying to manipulate you what are some good Conversation Enders you use?	WorkingThroughIt	9	1440	Dec 27, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	what do you think (Preview) So my husband had his 5th relaspe in as many years. Spent almost 3 weeks drinking a gallon of rum a day, after the first couple days-I had him move out. So after 3 weeks he gets sick, sobers up and agrees he needs long term treatment as AA by itself hasn't worked-because he stops after a couple months. So he g...	tired of trying	8	324	Dec 27, 2012 by Jen
	I think i need help! (Preview) Hi i dont know what to do anymore or what im expecting from posting this really. Here's my story: Im with my husband 6 years married 1 1/2. We have 2 kids together and another 1 on the way. He's sober now 13mths and is attending AA. I attended a couple of Al-anon meetings at the beginning of this year but to b...	bel25	7	333	Dec 27, 2012 by bel25
	Literally surrounded by alcoholics (Preview) Hi Everyone, Sorry, long post. Just need to get some stuff out. I was just thinking this morning that there must be some kind of message my HP is trying to tell me, although I have had a hard time with faith in a HP over the last ten years. I've been thinking about all the alcoholic...	Minaret	3	452	Dec 27, 2012 by Jen
	From this day forward (Preview) I have been separated from my husband of 19 yrs after asking him to make the choice of alcohol or his family. I wasn't prepared for his answer that he didn't have a problem and wouldn't stop drinking. I have attended face to face meetings from that day on 4 months ago. I had been lurking on this board lookin...	life_is_good	4	581	Dec 27, 2012 by Jen
	ODAT December 25 (Preview) Good read in ODAT for Christmas Day. I'm asked alot about my motives and this passage helped me think on this day when I wanted to call my son and interrogate about how he felt and what he was doing and if he was OK....etc etc etc. I didn't go there! Thank you God.....nice Christmas gift to let go and thi...	Cathyinaz	2	298	Dec 27, 2012 by Jen
	Denial at work (Preview) In the week leading up to Christmas one of my neighbors died very suddenly. He was an active drug user but most of all he did not take care of himself. His antics, making noise, having people over at all times of the day and night affected me. I was also affected by his "begging" for stuff lik...	orchidlover	5	435	Dec 27, 2012 by Jen
	Daughter spent Christmas with us (Preview) My alcoholic/addict newly sober daughter spent Xmas with us, and I think the reality of us having custody of her child and the fact that she can't live with us was soaking in all weekend. She spent all her energy trying to control the situation, sulking, generally acting miserable the whole time and be...	AlAnonDave	4	419	Dec 27, 2012 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.