Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

1976love · 1976love

So early this morning I get to thinking, "Why do I care if someone is mad at me?" I can understand the reasononing of the problem, I know I am right. I also know the other person has lied and betrayed people, people where I had to stick up for them, and now you are mad at me because I voiced a truth...

blondie99 · blondie99

OK...all the serenity I have built on for the last week is GONE. My AH called me today...was supposed to officially be his first day out of blackout in rehab, but he's called me pretty much every day. It started as a nice conversation, I was telling him I am home today under the weather. He said that he's b...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I am finding that my biggest issue is my growing anger at the lies I am being told. I know it's the disease he has. I know it's alcoholism. I can tell myself these things until I'm blue in the face but it doesn't make me like it any less. I HATE being lied to. It's as simple as that. I have no idea how to liv...

tortuga · tortuga

Hello and good morning, I'm back into active daily program. After the events this weekend i questioned myself a lot, my trust in myself, my self-worth, my anger, my resentments. I went way back low, to feel so much hurt and self-deception. And Jerry recommended to throw a temper tantrum. I had to think...

John · John

My lil' dog, Max is back home!! I had taken him to the vet on Friday, got supportive care, took him home, was okay saturday, sunday started showing signs of not being very well, and Monday morning was non responsive at all. The only thing on his body that he could move was his eyes. He was limp. He spent...

Breezie · Breezie

Thanks for the warm welcomes Right now I am in the midst of turmoil with my AH. He has been clean a year now. I am happy and proud he has remained clean, but that seems to be the only part of his program he is working. He thinks his program is great. I will not take his inventory to him, but have felt the nee...

ChristineD · ChristineD

Hi, I'm new. My alcoholic mother passed away at the age of 53 Feb. 2. She had nothing prepared, left me with a mess and I've finally gotten her laid to rest. I still have to take care of her apartment and bills. I new this day was coming for five years. I knew in the end she would die alone with just me to take car...

John · John

Hi everyone, First I want to thank everyone for your warm, loving and supportive words as I trudge through this hard time regarding my dog Max. Your letting me just share it here, have a place to dump my heart out means so much to me. I saw Max this morning. And he is doing sooo much better. The vet says he...

cinders · cinders

So yesterday when I had the 2nd oldest out doing his driving training, as he went to open the door to get out of the vehicle, the door handled snapped off. So today I am headed out with what is left of my day off to work on fixing the handle because I am not interested in climbing over the center console to get...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

First I am thankful for all of the ESH I have received from these boards; am so grateful to be able to come here. I know that I have to keep the focus on me, not my A and his disease, and I have been dedicated to daily reading of literature, almost daily meetings, and listening. That being said, it is so diff...

laurab · laurab

How will he know when he has reached the bottom? Will he figure out what to do next? As I said previously my son is in Phuket Thailand where he just blew away what he considered the very best situation ever. Now he is alone in a room, rent is paid through the end of the month, no money, no friends, no motorbike...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I have to share that my AH got himself to the hospital today and begins a 5 day inpatient program tomorrow. I don't have any details. He hasn't told me any of this. He has only communicated with his brother via text. I know he is angry, embarrassed, etc. with me. I also know that this is only the first step. I...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

Hi all, First, I've been an on-again-off-again member of al-anon for years. I haven't been to a f2f meeting in a while. I know that I really need to go back though. I've been in a relationship with my ABF for 4 years now. The first few months were great but looking back now, the whole rest has been a mess of em...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok, .. so I got a call this AM from the STBAX and guess what .. he's been in a car accident and is calling me for a ride home. He's ok if you consider a badly broken wrist ok, and a broken bone under his eye. Now knock me over with a feather .. trust me when I say the last person in the world I would call if I did ANYT...

Number30 · Number30

Today I am struggling. I WANT to be at my bottom-the point where I walk away (with love). I want to be done, but I've admitted that I'm not. I'm not there (at the "10" mentioned in another post the other day). To be clear, I'm not deciding divorce, simply pondering asking him to leave until clea...

Breezie · Breezie

Hello friends! New here, been in Al-Anon almost a year now. So grateful to find a place I can come at any time for some wisdom! I love CAL, but always great to hear new experience, strength and hope. And there are those times it's 2am and I want to call my sponsor, now I have a place to say it :) Me and my sto...

el-cee · el-cee

My life has been on hold for a while now. Especially during this weekend. Son is out getting drunk again. I have not slept very well since he left Friday afternoon. He has not came back yet but I have been jumpy and anxious. I have been on my own all weekend its as if my friends and family sense this and have le...

anon · anon

i have been dating a recovering alcoholic for the past 9 months. we are deeply in love with eachother and very committed. he has been so open about his recovery, and we are both very committed to self growth. we do fight, but we always come out on the other side with lessons gains and a better understandin...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I wrote yesterday re: "let go let God" The phone rang early this morning, my SIL, I didn't pick up. I got so anxious about it, my codependent behavior/issues are out of control, I can't stand the thought of someone being in pain. I prayed about it, called my sponsor and prayed about it ag...

John · John

This morning I got up to find my dog unable to move, pretty non responsive. I took him back to the vet.. After blood work it was determined he has pantricis and kidney shutting down. They are going to keep him for 2-3 days and do all they can but told me to get myself ready to have him put down if they can't get h...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I just received this email from my AS. He has been doing pretty good lately going to AA even. It's not easy and I just don't know how to take it. He is a good guy with a very kind heart. I just always paid him for everything he did...hence emabling I'm sure. Yes I'm looking for ESH here my MIP family. MOM I...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

A lot of well meaning people have been trying to tell me that I need to turn AH in somehow. He rents cars out of state while traveling for work and drives them illegally because he's on a restricted interlock device license issued in our state. My friend suggested I call the rental car company and make t...

Temple · Temple

Yesterday I read "Dewey: The Small Town Library Cat Who Touched the World." Vicki Myron, the author, writes about her marriage to an alcoholic and something I found interesting was, she quotes a Dr. Christine Bell, one of her heroes, as saying: "Everyone has a pain thermometer th...

kellyp1965 · kellyp1965

My son, 18, has been struggling with a heroin addiction for several years. We dealt with the failing grades, the stolen valuables, and all of the lies. Now, after 2 stints in rehab, he is 165 days sober and living in a sober house in Illinois. Now that he is out of the house, I look around at my surroundi...

Annie1234 · Annie1234

So, my AH, who was doing so well with not drinking for 49 days, has now drank beer, on two occasions within the past three weeks. The first time, after his 49 days of sobriety, he only had 4 beers, which is really good for him. The second time, which was two Saturdays ago, I have no idea how many he had. We g...

Stevey Y · Stevey Y

Hi. I am currently dating a recovering alcoholic. She has been clean and sober for four years now. We have only been dating for not quite two months. She is great, but I don't love her, and think we should break up. She is almost a decade younger than me, and we work together as well. Can anyone give me some a...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I almost let my a/a daughter get me in the middle of another cyclone, this time using her 8 y.o. daughter. A couple of weeks ago she went to visit her daughter and her X-husband, she said she was going to stay for a few wks. "to get clean" anyway, she stayed for a wk. came back, saying she wanted...

learning · learning

With heavy heart I said, "I come to you in need of help. Let me explain." (I proceeded.) (Silence) A few days later.... I repeat, "I really need your help with this problem." (Again I state my request.) (Silence) A while later and frustrat...

alanon23 · alanon23

When does a person who feels guilt and sadness for leaving someone who is mentally abusive and an alcoholic and pot smoker able to let it go. I remember the good times and my husband who I legally separated from blames me for everything and still refuses to accept responsiblity for his actions. He say...

Fool4You · Fool4You

My A just called me after not hearing from him for two weeks. He called using someone's cell phone on the street begging me for $20. He said it was a matter of life and death. Riiiight. We live in an area with a subway and he said he'll meet me at one of the subway stations. I have no intention of giving him mon...

MoominMama · MoominMama

Hi This is all completely new to me, but I just feel so upset and alone I needed to try and talk to someone that might understand. I have been with my partner for 18 months. We are both in our 40s and have children from previous marriages. We don't live together but spend a lot of time with each other, general...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Thanks to all who commented on my post yesterday. It was wonderful to know I had friends thinking of me and sending good thoughts. One day at a time, and we are on day two of this chaos. I don't know where AH spent the night, but he called me this morning, with a half-hearted apology. That's when I told him th...

Number30 · Number30

Good morning, I thought I'd share a new technique I'm trying during this rough patch. I'm not sure if it is making a difference for me yet, but I'm trying it out. Background: A few nights ago AH and I went to an event that was very important to me. I had waited months, and was nervous about it as he is actively...

el-cee · el-cee

-- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:18:52 AM -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:20:26 AM -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:23:24 AM

Jerry F · Jerry F

It is very comforting and supportive coming here and reading the ESH which my recovery often stands on. John's share of needing a break and Paris's share with her husbands response to her reaction and ILD's growth. Actually all of it is supportive to my program. I get to read these growths with my e...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

We need a chair for tomorrows 9 a.m. eastern meeting. I will not be able to chair three morning meetings a week. Please volunteer. We need chairs and greeters for Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday mornings. -- Edited by RobinKSC on Wednesday 13th of February 2013 09:37:58 AM

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

PM myself, tigger or overcome for more details....

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

Thought I would share something I have been learning about in regards to disfunctional relationships. Before I ran like hell from my alcoholic marriage, I was introduced to the theory ( or whatever you would call it) of the Distancer and the pursuer by a marriage counseled and I think it rings to true i...

midas · midas

Hi folks, I keep wanting to post something inspirational here- I had something in mind- something about lessons I've learned in Al-anon and how I was finally seeing "progress." But today my AH was loaded into an ambulance, unconcious, gurgling, with vomit all over his clothes. He was fin...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I haven't always really gotten that saying but I think I'm learning. It was a nice reprieve but the no contact order with my ex and the boys will be lifted within the next week or two as I've been told. He agreed to stop drinking so they are lifting the order. In another lifetime I'd have driven myself ins...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Hello everybody, well, I thought today would be a good day as any to take the first step, but I don't even know how to begin. I've posted a few times on this forum, always hoping of course, that my ABF would somehow wake up and smell the coffee. The last few days however, I've come to realize that I can't depe...

laurab · laurab

My 35 year old A son is sitting in a room in Thailand without a friend, money, food etc. He just blew away a wonderful situation that was his dream. He was so sucessful and happy. He met a nice girl, fell in love, pushed her to see how much crap she would take from and she left him. He couldn't believe that he...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I ran across this on Facebook today. Detachment has alway been a tough thing for me, so this really caught my attention: Detachment The concept of letting go can be confusing to many of us. When are we doing too much or trying too hard to control people and outcomes? When are we doing too little? When is...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I was feeling so good about my program and the progess I've been making this week. My AH on the other had was drinking most of the week, but I was doing so good, trying not to react, being compassionate, and so on. We had a good morning yesterday, getting along better than we have in months. Then in the after...

blondie99 · blondie99

The last few weeks, the only things that I could manage to do was 1) breathe; 2) sleep; 3) read and go to meetings; 4) go to work. At first I was hard on myself about this...why can't I do more, plan more, be more active? Start working out at the gym, do the laundry and the dishes, reorganize my bills so that I c...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, last night I went to my favorite Al Anon meeting. It's a large group well mixed with men and women of all ages. Lots of wisdom in that room, there are 2 ladies in there who have been in program for 38 plus years!!! Anyway, I also had gone to a meeting on Thursday, which is my home meeting group and close...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I had to break away from the board this morning which I decided was better for me than going to a meeting. It was cause the power of recovery can be found MIP and often this is as good or better than an open meeting. I have another chance this evening should not a surprise interfere. The surprise cause...

Temple · Temple

I was reading on the AA board, and John posted in answer to a direct question that he had to come up with some of the money to keep the boards up in December. I realize that many of us live in chronic financial chaos, many of us are in a temporarily dicey place right now, and these of us are doing all we can to pra...

tortuga · tortuga

Some of you might remember me and my ' story'. I haven't been posting the last weeks much, I was trying to live out the things that I learned here in Al Anon. I left my 'dry' A in January, then built myself a quite good self-care program, and things seemed to get back on track. I was finally feeling like getti...

el-cee · el-cee

The play about the merry go round called denial has led me to see a fact that I had not thought of before. While my a was drinking heavily when we were together. I would play the role of enabler, victim and provoker. I would chastise him for his drinking and he would talk about his childhood and blame his mot...

Temple · Temple

I haven't thanked you often enough or with as much fervor as I feel, for making these boards available to us. I get so much support and hope from reading everybody's stories and the responses. I have been pretty good about telling the wise ones how much their shared wisdom means to me, and I haven't sa...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Hello my friends. Today I am feeling positive. I read today about accepting that alcoholism is a disease. Some days I struggle to remember this. When I came home last night, and saw that he had been drinking again, I reacted, got angry, same old bad behavior from ME. He responded by saying,"Yes...

Determined · Determined

My AH went to Schick Shadle a year and 3 months ago it was truely the first time in a long time I felt like I could breathe it did not cure all of our problems but gave us both hope. Neither of us did any follow through besides his scheduled visit however long after he checked out. We just assumed that it would...

John · John

okay, I whined about the pump on the pressure washer, about the fuel pump on the truck, about my dog needing to go to the vet... not being able to get ahead, that I "Can't get a break".... Well, we have had such good weather here the past two or three weeks that I have busted ass trying to get work lined up, don...

John · John

"You are absolutely invited to join me for a cup of coffee this morning." I woke relatively early this morning. Sat up, put feet on the floor, then leaned forward and asked my Higher Power to guide me through this day, and thanked Him for giving me another one. I got off the bed, stumbled into the kitchen...

blondie99 · blondie99

I came to some really important realizations today - some true bing!lightbulb, monkey-touching-the-monolith moments. My AH is in his first full day of rehab today. He is on a 7-day communication blackout, but he was able to call me last night and let me know he was in safe and sound. He told me briefly a...

John · John

When I became willing to simply hold on, work the steps, spend time with others in recovery, not allow my dis-EASE to separate me and isolate me, and started to beg for some relief from a God I surely DIDN'T understand... the pain lessened a little bit, and I was able to move through whatever the source of...

nyc018 · nyc018

After being a semi regular on this board I have not posted in a long time; I have been very busy in a new role in my job which is keeping me offline most of the day, and evenings are spent with my son. My current schedule just doesn't allow me the time to go to f2f meetings. I relied heavily on the comfort of th...

cneely · cneely

Hi, this is my first time on this website. I am 21 married to a 32 year old man. We've been married for over two years and we have one one-year-old son and a daughter due in three weeks. Before we married, we only dated for one year and before that we had only known each other for a few months. Most of the time, w...

sookie · sookie

Ugh....tonight my separated AH is coming over to talk about our divorce. I am full of anxiety. I am the main breadwinner and he is entitled to half of everything I have worked for during the last 10 years--a good savings account I have built for our kids college, half my pension, half the house, and the re...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Why is it??? (Preview) So early this morning I get to thinking, "Why do I care if someone is mad at me?" I can understand the reasononing of the problem, I know I am right. I also know the other person has lied and betrayed people, people where I had to stick up for them, and now you are mad at me because I voiced a truth...	1976love	4	267	Feb 22, 2013 by f2fmember
	Are you 'xxxx' kidding me? (Preview) OK...all the serenity I have built on for the last week is GONE. My AH called me today...was supposed to officially be his first day out of blackout in rehab, but he's called me pretty much every day. It started as a nice conversation, I was telling him I am home today under the weather. He said that he's b...	blondie99	6	582	Feb 21, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Handling lies and resulting anger (Preview) I am finding that my biggest issue is my growing anger at the lies I am being told. I know it's the disease he has. I know it's alcoholism. I can tell myself these things until I'm blue in the face but it doesn't make me like it any less. I HATE being lied to. It's as simple as that. I have no idea how to liv...	ilovedogs	15	576	Feb 21, 2013 by Cheri_Swanson
	garbage list as temper tantrum (Preview) Hello and good morning, I'm back into active daily program. After the events this weekend i questioned myself a lot, my trust in myself, my self-worth, my anger, my resentments. I went way back low, to feel so much hurt and self-deception. And Jerry recommended to throw a temper tantrum. I had to think...	tortuga	5	391	Feb 21, 2013 by Jennifer
	Max Update & God story... (Preview) My lil' dog, Max is back home!! I had taken him to the vet on Friday, got supportive care, took him home, was okay saturday, sunday started showing signs of not being very well, and Monday morning was non responsive at all. The only thing on his body that he could move was his eyes. He was limp. He spent...	John	6	319	Feb 21, 2013 by Temple
	Relationships and dealing with turmoil (Preview) Thanks for the warm welcomes Right now I am in the midst of turmoil with my AH. He has been clean a year now. I am happy and proud he has remained clean, but that seems to be the only part of his program he is working. He thinks his program is great. I will not take his inventory to him, but have felt the nee...	Breezie	5	564	Feb 21, 2013 by Breezie
	She's Dead (Preview) Hi, I'm new. My alcoholic mother passed away at the age of 53 Feb. 2. She had nothing prepared, left me with a mess and I've finally gotten her laid to rest. I still have to take care of her apartment and bills. I new this day was coming for five years. I knew in the end she would die alone with just me to take car...	ChristineD	12	554	Feb 21, 2013 by ChristineD
	Another day at the vets... (Good News!) (Preview) Hi everyone, First I want to thank everyone for your warm, loving and supportive words as I trudge through this hard time regarding my dog Max. Your letting me just share it here, have a place to dump my heart out means so much to me. I saw Max this morning. And he is doing sooo much better. The vet says he...	John	9	591	Feb 21, 2013 by grateful2be
	Anger and resentment leaving me with hate (Preview) So yesterday when I had the 2nd oldest out doing his driving training, as he went to open the door to get out of the vehicle, the door handled snapped off. So today I am headed out with what is left of my day off to work on fixing the handle because I am not interested in climbing over the center console to get...	cinders	7	470	Feb 21, 2013 by abbyalana
	trying to keep my focus (Preview) First I am thankful for all of the ESH I have received from these boards; am so grateful to be able to come here. I know that I have to keep the focus on me, not my A and his disease, and I have been dedicated to daily reading of literature, almost daily meetings, and listening. That being said, it is so diff...	yanksfan51	6	327	Feb 21, 2013 by Annie1234
	How will he know when he has reached the bottom? (Preview) How will he know when he has reached the bottom? Will he figure out what to do next? As I said previously my son is in Phuket Thailand where he just blew away what he considered the very best situation ever. Now he is alone in a room, rent is paid through the end of the month, no money, no friends, no motorbike...	laurab	9	346	Feb 20, 2013 by laurab
	AH checked himself in for help. Progress! (Preview) I have to share that my AH got himself to the hospital today and begins a 5 day inpatient program tomorrow. I don't have any details. He hasn't told me any of this. He has only communicated with his brother via text. I know he is angry, embarrassed, etc. with me. I also know that this is only the first step. I...	ParisMemories	7	306	Feb 20, 2013 by afglin
	Feeling blocked from ending 4 year relationship (Preview) Hi all, First, I've been an on-again-off-again member of al-anon for years. I haven't been to a f2f meeting in a while. I know that I really need to go back though. I've been in a relationship with my ABF for 4 years now. The first few months were great but looking back now, the whole rest has been a mess of em...	Sangyaa	6	455	Feb 20, 2013 by tortuga
	Having a moment .. HELP!! (Preview) Ok, .. so I got a call this AM from the STBAX and guess what .. he's been in a car accident and is calling me for a ride home. He's ok if you consider a badly broken wrist ok, and a broken bone under his eye. Now knock me over with a feather .. trust me when I say the last person in the world I would call if I did ANYT...	Pushka	8	420	Feb 20, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Wish I was at the bottom (Preview) Today I am struggling. I WANT to be at my bottom-the point where I walk away (with love). I want to be done, but I've admitted that I'm not. I'm not there (at the "10" mentioned in another post the other day). To be clear, I'm not deciding divorce, simply pondering asking him to leave until clea...	Number30	2	283	Feb 20, 2013 by Mattie
	Glad to find you!! (Preview) Hello friends! New here, been in Al-Anon almost a year now. So grateful to find a place I can come at any time for some wisdom! I love CAL, but always great to hear new experience, strength and hope. And there are those times it's 2am and I want to call my sponsor, now I have a place to say it :) Me and my sto...	Breezie	3	248	Feb 20, 2013 by el-cee
	Living. On hold! (Preview) My life has been on hold for a while now. Especially during this weekend. Son is out getting drunk again. I have not slept very well since he left Friday afternoon. He has not came back yet but I have been jumpy and anxious. I have been on my own all weekend its as if my friends and family sense this and have le...	el-cee	6	334	Feb 20, 2013 by el-cee
	recovering alcoholics and porn (Preview) i have been dating a recovering alcoholic for the past 9 months. we are deeply in love with eachother and very committed. he has been so open about his recovery, and we are both very committed to self growth. we do fight, but we always come out on the other side with lessons gains and a better understandin...	anon	21	5454	Feb 20, 2013 by John
	Losing my serenity! (Preview) I wrote yesterday re: "let go let God" The phone rang early this morning, my SIL, I didn't pick up. I got so anxious about it, my codependent behavior/issues are out of control, I can't stand the thought of someone being in pain. I prayed about it, called my sponsor and prayed about it ag...	Highlyfavored	2	261	Feb 19, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Dog back at vet today... (Preview) This morning I got up to find my dog unable to move, pretty non responsive. I took him back to the vet.. After blood work it was determined he has pantricis and kidney shutting down. They are going to keep him for 2-3 days and do all they can but told me to get myself ready to have him put down if they can't get h...	John	10	521	Feb 19, 2013 by kellyp1965
	Email from my son (Preview) I just received this email from my AS. He has been doing pretty good lately going to AA even. It's not easy and I just don't know how to take it. He is a good guy with a very kind heart. I just always paid him for everything he did...hence emabling I'm sure. Yes I'm looking for ESH here my MIP family. MOM I...	Cathyinaz	13	465	Feb 19, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Pressure from family and friends (Preview) A lot of well meaning people have been trying to tell me that I need to turn AH in somehow. He rents cars out of state while traveling for work and drives them illegally because he's on a restricted interlock device license issued in our state. My friend suggested I call the rental car company and make t...	ilovedogs	3	266	Feb 19, 2013 by rehprof
	Pain Thermometer. (Preview) Yesterday I read "Dewey: The Small Town Library Cat Who Touched the World." Vicki Myron, the author, writes about her marriage to an alcoholic and something I found interesting was, she quotes a Dr. Christine Bell, one of her heroes, as saying: "Everyone has a pain thermometer th...	Temple	4	293	Feb 19, 2013 by PP
	I need new friends (Preview) My son, 18, has been struggling with a heroin addiction for several years. We dealt with the failing grades, the stolen valuables, and all of the lies. Now, after 2 stints in rehab, he is 165 days sober and living in a sober house in Illinois. Now that he is out of the house, I look around at my surroundi...	kellyp1965	9	379	Feb 19, 2013 by kellyp1965
	Why am I crying? (Preview) So, my AH, who was doing so well with not drinking for 49 days, has now drank beer, on two occasions within the past three weeks. The first time, after his 49 days of sobriety, he only had 4 beers, which is really good for him. The second time, which was two Saturdays ago, I have no idea how many he had. We g...	Annie1234	5	286	Feb 19, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Breakup question (Preview) Hi. I am currently dating a recovering alcoholic. She has been clean and sober for four years now. We have only been dating for not quite two months. She is great, but I don't love her, and think we should break up. She is almost a decade younger than me, and we work together as well. Can anyone give me some a...	Stevey Y	3	307	Feb 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	Letting go, Letting God!! (Preview) I almost let my a/a daughter get me in the middle of another cyclone, this time using her 8 y.o. daughter. A couple of weeks ago she went to visit her daughter and her X-husband, she said she was going to stay for a few wks. "to get clean" anyway, she stayed for a wk. came back, saying she wanted...	Highlyfavored	2	270	Feb 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	Hearing (Preview) With heavy heart I said, "I come to you in need of help. Let me explain." (I proceeded.) (Silence) A few days later.... I repeat, "I really need your help with this problem." (Again I state my request.) (Silence) A while later and frustrat...	learning	2	254	Feb 19, 2013 by Fool4You
	Blame Game (Preview) When does a person who feels guilt and sadness for leaving someone who is mentally abusive and an alcoholic and pot smoker able to let it go. I remember the good times and my husband who I legally separated from blames me for everything and still refuses to accept responsiblity for his actions. He say...	alanon23	2	266	Feb 19, 2013 by Fool4You
	A beacon no more (Preview) My A just called me after not hearing from him for two weeks. He called using someone's cell phone on the street begging me for $20. He said it was a matter of life and death. Riiiight. We live in an area with a subway and he said he'll meet me at one of the subway stations. I have no intention of giving him mon...	Fool4You	5	266	Feb 19, 2013 by Fool4You
	So upset by his denial and hurtful behaviour (Preview) Hi This is all completely new to me, but I just feel so upset and alone I needed to try and talk to someone that might understand. I have been with my partner for 18 months. We are both in our 40s and have children from previous marriages. We don't live together but spend a lot of time with each other, general...	MoominMama	13	488	Feb 19, 2013 by MoominMama
	Day Two... (Preview) Thanks to all who commented on my post yesterday. It was wonderful to know I had friends thinking of me and sending good thoughts. One day at a time, and we are on day two of this chaos. I don't know where AH spent the night, but he called me this morning, with a half-hearted apology. That's when I told him th...	ParisMemories	3	248	Feb 18, 2013 by learning
	Trying something new (Preview) Good morning, I thought I'd share a new technique I'm trying during this rough patch. I'm not sure if it is making a difference for me yet, but I'm trying it out. Background: A few nights ago AH and I went to an event that was very important to me. I had waited months, and was nervous about it as he is actively...	Number30	4	401	Feb 18, 2013 by Afraidparent
	Nice quote (Preview) -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:18:52 AM -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:20:26 AM -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:23:24 AM	el-cee	5	273	Feb 18, 2013 by Afraidparent
	Listen also with your eyes... (Preview) It is very comforting and supportive coming here and reading the ESH which my recovery often stands on. John's share of needing a break and Paris's share with her husbands response to her reaction and ILD's growth. Actually all of it is supportive to my program. I get to read these growths with my e...	Jerry F	6	282	Feb 18, 2013 by PP
	Tomorrow's AM meeting, please do not delete this message, we do not have a chair, please step up to chair and greet (Preview) We need a chair for tomorrows 9 a.m. eastern meeting. I will not be able to chair three morning meetings a week. Please volunteer. We need chairs and greeters for Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday mornings. -- Edited by RobinKSC on Wednesday 13th of February 2013 09:37:58 AM	RobinKSC	7	345	Feb 18, 2013 by RobinKSC
	We are still looking for chairs and greeters for Wed Thursday and Sunday mornings, we will train you.. (Preview) PM myself, tigger or overcome for more details....	RobinKSC	0	177	Feb 18, 2013 by RobinKSC
	The Pursuer and the Distancer (Preview) Thought I would share something I have been learning about in regards to disfunctional relationships. Before I ran like hell from my alcoholic marriage, I was introduced to the theory ( or whatever you would call it) of the Distancer and the pursuer by a marriage counseled and I think it rings to true i...	GreenerGrass	8	5317	Feb 18, 2013 by ilovedogs
	waiting for the miracle (Preview) Hi folks, I keep wanting to post something inspirational here- I had something in mind- something about lessons I've learned in Al-anon and how I was finally seeing "progress." But today my AH was loaded into an ambulance, unconcious, gurgling, with vomit all over his clothes. He was fin...	midas	9	487	Feb 18, 2013 by midas
	Learning to live life on life's terms (Preview) I haven't always really gotten that saying but I think I'm learning. It was a nice reprieve but the no contact order with my ex and the boys will be lifted within the next week or two as I've been told. He agreed to stop drinking so they are lifting the order. In another lifetime I'd have driven myself ins...	AStrongerMe	3	251	Feb 18, 2013 by AStrongerMe
	New Week, New Start--But Where and How? (Preview) Hello everybody, well, I thought today would be a good day as any to take the first step, but I don't even know how to begin. I've posted a few times on this forum, always hoping of course, that my ABF would somehow wake up and smell the coffee. The last few days however, I've come to realize that I can't depe...	Raven Juniper	3	460	Feb 18, 2013 by Jerry F
	I want to rescue and i know I can't (Preview) My 35 year old A son is sitting in a room in Thailand without a friend, money, food etc. He just blew away a wonderful situation that was his dream. He was so sucessful and happy. He met a nice girl, fell in love, pushed her to see how much crap she would take from and she left him. He couldn't believe that he...	laurab	16	438	Feb 18, 2013 by hotrod
	Detachment Detachment (Preview) I ran across this on Facebook today. Detachment has alway been a tough thing for me, so this really caught my attention: Detachment The concept of letting go can be confusing to many of us. When are we doing too much or trying too hard to control people and outcomes? When are we doing too little? When is...	Green Eyes	1	5611	Feb 18, 2013 by hotrod
	A Bad Day (Preview) I was feeling so good about my program and the progess I've been making this week. My AH on the other had was drinking most of the week, but I was doing so good, trying not to react, being compassionate, and so on. We had a good morning yesterday, getting along better than we have in months. Then in the after...	ParisMemories	12	381	Feb 18, 2013 by xeno59
	Let The Sunshine In (Preview) The last few weeks, the only things that I could manage to do was 1) breathe; 2) sleep; 3) read and go to meetings; 4) go to work. At first I was hard on myself about this...why can't I do more, plan more, be more active? Start working out at the gym, do the laundry and the dishes, reorganize my bills so that I c...	blondie99	3	250	Feb 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	AH's before meeting comment: had to share (Preview) So, last night I went to my favorite Al Anon meeting. It's a large group well mixed with men and women of all ages. Lots of wisdom in that room, there are 2 ladies in there who have been in program for 38 plus years!!! Anyway, I also had gone to a meeting on Thursday, which is my home meeting group and close...	ilovedogs	7	478	Feb 17, 2013 by Pushka
	Life on Life's terms...Yay (Preview) I had to break away from the board this morning which I decided was better for me than going to a meeting. It was cause the power of recovery can be found MIP and often this is as good or better than an open meeting. I have another chance this evening should not a surprise interfere. The surprise cause...	Jerry F	13	543	Feb 17, 2013 by likemyheart
	And another thing. (Preview) I was reading on the AA board, and John posted in answer to a direct question that he had to come up with some of the money to keep the boards up in December. I realize that many of us live in chronic financial chaos, many of us are in a temporarily dicey place right now, and these of us are doing all we can to pra...	Temple	2	230	Feb 17, 2013 by Temple
	self-sabotage, in honesty! (Preview) Some of you might remember me and my ' story'. I haven't been posting the last weeks much, I was trying to live out the things that I learned here in Al Anon. I left my 'dry' A in January, then built myself a quite good self-care program, and things seemed to get back on track. I was finally feeling like getti...	tortuga	8	446	Feb 17, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	tools of denial (Preview) The play about the merry go round called denial has led me to see a fact that I had not thought of before. While my a was drinking heavily when we were together. I would play the role of enabler, victim and provoker. I would chastise him for his drinking and he would talk about his childhood and blame his mot...	el-cee	4	341	Feb 17, 2013 by hotrod
	Thank you to John (Preview) I haven't thanked you often enough or with as much fervor as I feel, for making these boards available to us. I get so much support and hope from reading everybody's stories and the responses. I have been pretty good about telling the wise ones how much their shared wisdom means to me, and I haven't sa...	Temple	2	255	Feb 17, 2013 by milkwood
	Feeling positive today (Preview) Hello my friends. Today I am feeling positive. I read today about accepting that alcoholism is a disease. Some days I struggle to remember this. When I came home last night, and saw that he had been drinking again, I reacted, got angry, same old bad behavior from ME. He responded by saying,"Yes...	ParisMemories	3	325	Feb 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	Is there a fairy tale ending? (Preview) My AH went to Schick Shadle a year and 3 months ago it was truely the first time in a long time I felt like I could breathe it did not cure all of our problems but gave us both hope. Neither of us did any follow through besides his scheduled visit however long after he checked out. We just assumed that it would...	Determined	8	456	Feb 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	It's Snowing!! WTF! (Preview) okay, I whined about the pump on the pressure washer, about the fuel pump on the truck, about my dog needing to go to the vet... not being able to get ahead, that I "Can't get a break".... Well, we have had such good weather here the past two or three weeks that I have busted ass trying to get work lined up, don...	John	5	331	Feb 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	Shared on AA board today... (Preview) "You are absolutely invited to join me for a cup of coffee this morning." I woke relatively early this morning. Sat up, put feet on the floor, then leaned forward and asked my Higher Power to guide me through this day, and thanked Him for giving me another one. I got off the bed, stumbled into the kitchen...	John	1	395	Feb 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	I chose grace (Preview) I came to some really important realizations today - some true bing!lightbulb, monkey-touching-the-monolith moments. My AH is in his first full day of rehab today. He is on a 7-day communication blackout, but he was able to call me last night and let me know he was in safe and sound. He told me briefly a...	blondie99	6	437	Feb 17, 2013 by ParisMemories
	Just a thought... (Preview) When I became willing to simply hold on, work the steps, spend time with others in recovery, not allow my dis-EASE to separate me and isolate me, and started to beg for some relief from a God I surely DIDN'T understand... the pain lessened a little bit, and I was able to move through whatever the source of...	John	2	454	Feb 16, 2013 by Jackie Z
	Back after a while (Preview) After being a semi regular on this board I have not posted in a long time; I have been very busy in a new role in my job which is keeping me offline most of the day, and evenings are spent with my son. My current schedule just doesn't allow me the time to go to f2f meetings. I relied heavily on the comfort of th...	nyc018	4	302	Feb 16, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	I have no trust left. (Preview) Hi, this is my first time on this website. I am 21 married to a 32 year old man. We've been married for over two years and we have one one-year-old son and a daughter due in three weeks. Before we married, we only dated for one year and before that we had only known each other for a few months. Most of the time, w...	cneely	4	534	Feb 16, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Praying for strength for tonight (Preview) Ugh....tonight my separated AH is coming over to talk about our divorce. I am full of anxiety. I am the main breadwinner and he is entitled to half of everything I have worked for during the last 10 years--a good savings account I have built for our kids college, half my pension, half the house, and the re...	sookie	5	487	Feb 16, 2013 by Auntyaya
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.