Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Giggleball · Giggleball

So, I'm new here and new to this world. My AH is in an inpatient treatment facility -- due out a week from Sunday. He's been really taking rehab seriously and the 12 steps. I'm so proud of him and what he is doing for himself. I am scared, though... I am scared because he is more like the man I married now t...

el-cee · el-cee

My son, 19, who is showing signs of progressing in his quest to not feel what he feels or think what he thinks about himself. He is currently homeless, he has a court case coming up in the next couple of weeks, there is a real chance he will go to prison for failing twice to comply with probation, so he is...

MAGK55 · MAGK55

It just seems like it is the same day after day. Money problems, drama from the alcoholic, work problems. Blah, blah, blah. I have been attending AL-ANON meetings on Monday and I love going but life just seems depressing and meaningless.

John · John

On my wall is a picture of my son, who is holding his new born, first child, the day he was born. Both have their eyes closed and the love and connectedness is so obvious in that picture. My grandchild is now 10 years old. Then I have another picture... of my son's mug shot taken in jail. Not on my wall of c...

Jerry F · Jerry F

It might be the flu or whatever. It started coming on this morning just as I was waking up. I needed support to stand without wavering back and forth and I had a cup of coffee and felt better; got my truck and made it to my home meeting. God can I be more greatly blessed than what has been given to me with thi...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Yesterday I received an email from my mother saying my family is going to my brother's home in another state for Easter. I only have this one sibling, its just the four of us and his wife and my only niece who Im crazy about. My brother's wife's family will be there too. We have always spent holidays togeth...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I'm awake at 2 AM ruminating and cooking up a resentment against 1 of my bosses. I had an idea about a training for gay and lesbian awareness, sensitivity, and resources. I have some connections outside of work and have used them to help my office/organization before. Generally speaking, I am a dy...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I just couldn't stand it anymore. This attorney is the most self-centered, rude, condescending person I have ever met. Not only that, I truly believe she is a hoarder. 50% of my day is spent searching for things that she has misplaced in that trash heap that she calls an office. The other 40% is spent m...

sheristeele · sheristeele

Over the last few days my addicted son who no longer lives with me has been contacting me and giving me a lot of grief because I will not let him have his box of 50 to 75 DVD;s (which I paid for when he lived with me). The reason I will not let him have them is because I know that he will sell them for drug money. I...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Hi. I am posting tonight because my boyfriend has decided that he wants to look into a thirty day facility like passages. Or something cheaper obviously. He is going to call his mom tonight and tell her, and ask about insurance or what he should do. I am literally riddled with anxiety and fear??? :conf...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Back to the good old days when I was being more positive. I feel like I have been suffering from negativity. I just needed to get humble a bit to get the gratitude back. I have been a little bit uncomfortable in my own skin but today I feel like I can do almost anything that I put my mind to. If something goes wr...

Maurice · Maurice

-- Edited by Maurice on Thursday 28th of March 2013 12:17:27 PM

canadianguy · canadianguy

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t52247626/the-promises-of-alanon/

texasgal · texasgal

As the holiday approaches the drama with my AH has already started. He didn't come home wednesday night and today he is off and already its a big drama about his job. I'm off all weekend from both my jobs. I know I'm going to a meeting tomorrow. But I need to make plans with family or friends the rest of weeke...

imom · imom

Hi Everyone, I haven't posted in a while because things at my house have been really really bad, and all week all I have wanted to do is come home from work and crawl in bed and hide. Today as I was walking down the hall at work, I looked out at the sun shining. I began thinking about how we finally have a bea...

Pushka · Pushka

to be angry .. lol. Now the anger was exhausting, at least I could keep up the steel gates and walls and not have to deal with the hurt. Ironically, STBAX moved out 15 months ago and I'm only NOW dealing with the hurt. Being angry afforded me not to face my pain initially and I had a lot of pain going into t...

seekinganswers · seekinganswers

Hi, This is my first post and I'm very lost right now. I hope someone can point me in the right direction. I don't live near by Al Anon meetings but I would like to find a sponsor, someone to email/talk on the phone. Does anyone know how can I do it? Thank you very much in advance!

Lupo · Lupo

After six months of relapse that seemingly continued to get worse and worse I have asked my fiance to leave our home. I can no longer bear to live with the insanity in my life. She has continued to increase her use. Typically two nights a week she will not come home. I have found drug paraphenalia all ove...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I was hopeful after yesterday's promises. AH said he was committed to recovery, blah blah blah. Today I get home from work, he is gone. There is a note on the table saying he is "planning to stay at his parents". I know him. This is how he can say he didn't lie. He "planned" to stay at h...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning Sometimes when I get upset and worried and go into a tailspin I think why? I'm doing everything I should be doing to get healthy. Why do I continue to have a problem detaching... Well...I'm human. Those feelings will always be there, it's just how do I handle them to keep me safe and have pe...

Number30 · Number30

I'm doing a lot better, staying calm, working out a Plan B that actually excites me a little and then tomorrow is AH's payday (not that he's been to work in over a week!) Payday is the worst. He gets two physical checks. Cashes one and hands it to me for bills/groceries/gas, everything except his lovely m...

Jen61 · Jen61

I went to a face to face meeting on Tuesday night and this was read. Very powerful. The Al-Anon Do's and Don'tsDO:Do forgiveDo be humbleDo take it easy tension is harmfulDo play find recreation and hobbiesDo keep on trying whenever you failDo learn the facts about alcoholismDo attend Al-Anon mee...

Hopeful925 · Hopeful925

Hi everyone..so glad to have found this community of support...I'm new to all of "THIS". I started dating this wonderful man whom I had known in my community in June 2012 not knowing he was alcoholic...and not knowing the least thing about alcoholism..I don't drink..never have, didn't...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

From what I've read, when an alcoholic is recovering they become a new person. They reconstruct themselves as they are without the alcohol. I'm 99% sure my AH has been sober for about 4 weeks. Still working on myself and getting off the crazy-train/roller coaster. The thing I'm really strugglin...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My 32 year old alcoholic daughter associates with other alcoholics (they meet at least 5 nights a week at bars, plus they meet for lunch and sometimes at homes to drink at other times). All their get togethers involve hours and hours of drinking. She feels they are just having fun and what they are doi...

Sincerely · Sincerely

At the top of my lungs i want to scream! I hate this feeling I have inside. It's empty! My 2 A's are my husband and my mom. Husbandbeen seperated 18 monthsmiss him tremendouslyhe's in treatment 45 days cleani'm going see him this weekend Momboundary- i don't go to her house after work, don't wanna be ar...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

We come home from vacation to find our AD got fired from her job a few weeks ago and has been hiding that fact from us. My husband was not in the room when she confided this to me, and she just curled up in a ball and kept crying and crying, saying that is not the worst part . I know better than this after almost 3...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Two days out of the hospital and my son is already drinking. This time it hurts. I'm hurt. He is so depressed and hurting so much I'm afraid he is not going to make it. My "what ifs " kicked in big time. I'm scared and fear for his life right now. I am trying to let it pass but I had to write som...

Sun sun · Sun sun

I am tired. As I know so many others are. I posted a few days ago, and here I am again anxious and scared. after a calm 3 days, today he went to his mother's house having said he would be back here between 6.30 and 7 pm. I sent him a text saying food would be ready at 7.30 and he phoned to say he'd be back at 7.45. No s...

lnc12 · lnc12

I wrote about my AH being drunk at 8:00 yesterday. Well, apparently he just kept drinking. I got a call from his grandmother at 1:00 PM telling me that he had fallen and he had a big knot on his head. She wanted me to come over to look at it, and I told her that it wouldn't do any good for me to be there, and that if...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Have found myself much happier doing what is innately me, a bit of rehab and rescue. A gal and her family are rening the 20 acres across the road from me. She has everything...they are all sooo sweet and healthy. I ended up rescuing Augy my Berkshire/guinea hog mix. He is gorgious, won't be as big as a regu...

dponlyme · dponlyme

My AW is having a really hard time mentally right now.. I see alot of depression and thinking errors going on but I am frustrated that it always ends up with her being angry with me. Yesterday she woke me up and asked if she could take my NEW tablet outside so she could listen to music while she cooked on the...

gorby928 · gorby928

Hi all Well my AW kicked off again on Sunday,she went into total meltdown while the kids where still up.I tried to get her to stop as I hate the kids to see her like that but I was talking to the wall.I remembered the steps and tried with all my heart to stay calm but when she kept on screaming at me over and over...

rehprof · rehprof

So the exA called me tonight to tell me how concerned he is about our kids...playing too many video games, and my 16 yo not doing well in school. The exA is telling me all these things I need to do...and that it's probably "too late" to turn things around for my 16yo. He says "you are so bus...

NicoleDiver · NicoleDiver

And so that's it. But I still feel like it's out of my control how soon all this ends. Tuesday morning I called his probation officer's boss and told her everything. Just the right time apparently. Unfortunately his probation officer actually died 3 weeks ago. So he was going to be reassigned an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am struggling w/ being patient & compassionate. I just want it to happen now--whatever it is! I am having a pretty good day today. I need a nap, though. I have been struggling w/ yesterday's reading in Hope for Today. It was talking about having compassion for others. My mom is my toughest one. Tha...

tortuga · tortuga

I noticed that my trust got hurt the most in my history with the A. trust in myself and my 'judgments' of situations and people, and trust in others not to hurt me. it has a lot to do with my expectations. I somewhat expected heathy nehavior from unhealthy people, including myself. Well, than life opene...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Today was his trial date. The case was dismissed, after both he and I spoke with the prosecutor (individually), and I also spoke with the court advocate. I could have shared lots of information about his alcoholism, and insisted that he be sentenced to a court-ordered treatment program. (This was ad...

sweeetr · sweeetr

One of my books .. Think it was getting them sober... Talks about living your own life and I kind of have. I've been doin my sons baseball practices. And helping update an older home my daughter just bought. Which I've stayed at twice when my ah pulled drunk nights and I just didn't wanna deal with it. An...

forestfairy · forestfairy

So when I started this journey to make myself better, I had no idea it would make things so much harder. I thought I would change and he would just magically change . . . I thought it would shift the balance and if I was saner, he would be saner. Not yet. So I'm listening to people say: look after yourself, m...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

My mom and I had a pretty good carthartic talk tonight... I told her I was sorry for the regretful things that I had said to her because I was so upset and angry over her drinking. Is this one of the Twelve Steps? making amends? she asked me if I thought she had gotten better I said yes and no. She's going bac...

Temple · Temple

I loved this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9G3xufj3Z4

DavidG · DavidG

Things are going okay at the moment. In my home Alanon group I felt we needed to have a business and consciance meeting, fairly regularly.When my turn to chair a meeting came around, I bought this up. it seemed to bring up a lof of conflict. I was frightened of losing the group- or rather losing my respec...

Clueless Optimist · Clueless Optimist

Okay, how can we help an addict to stop with being so negative? AH is in treatment right now and in some days, he seems fine but in some days, he's so negative about everything. He keeps thinking he's really ruined and there's no cure and there's no hope. He goes to his outpatient addictions treatment cl...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

A week from this Thursday, we are having family friends visit us from FL. As if there isn't enough tension in the house already between my mom and dad....now we have company coming...should we pretend like nothing is wrong with my mom or should we have an intervention of sorts...from my experience wit...

Pushka · Pushka

Believe them. I have spent soooo much time believing what someone tells me that when they show me who they are I can't wrap my pea brain around the fact they are probably being honest about their actions vs their words. I have had a good laugh at myself over the past couple of days. One of them is the fact...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Its so neat hearing cows, goats, horses, my guineas love it. feels like eden again. OH and wild ducks in the pond!i Um brought in some straw for the guinea pigs, Augy pig thought it was for him...August Ronan McPhate. tory is the horse. The gal tried to help her but its too much. So she is mine. Dickens the p...

lnc12 · lnc12

Well, it's 8:30 AM here where I live. I got a call from our tax assessor as I was leaving work remindining me that March 28th is the last day that we can homestead our house. She didn't have my AH's number for some reason. Well the house was left to my AH when his father died, and it is still in his father's name...

Minaret · Minaret

This is currently what I am dealing with in my life right now: My AH has been actively drinking all 8 years of our marriage, got a DUI in 2008, he got better for about 6 months, but that was about it. He went backwards to blaming his mother who abandoned him, me and the kids. He thinks he doesn't have a problem...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My sister drinks every single day, but not to the point of drunkeness (as far as I know). She rations herself to 1/2 bottle of wine daily, and then more for special occasions or when on vacation or when getting together with friends. But always the 1/2 bottle per day. When she was scheduled to visit us,...

blondie99 · blondie99

I decided to talk to my boss about taking a few mental health days this week. She is somewhat familiar with what's going on but doesn't know all the gory details. She said she thought it would be a good idea and gave it her blessing. I have a feeling she's been through it too because she uses Al-Anon "l...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

My son is still alive. He spent 5 days in the hospital from a bike accident. Says he wasn't drinking . Found laying unconscious and 911 was called. He doesn't remember but that's what they told him. He complained about being in a neck brace for two days but the cat scans showed no damage. He said h...

laurab · laurab

When I arrived it Phuket my son appeared to be brain damaged. He walked with his legs far apart and he stumbled a lot. He had great trouble speaking and no short term memory. The hospital where he recovered from his near death binge, compounded by a bleeding ulcer, sent him out with 8 different meds, enou...

Lyne · Lyne

So I told my spouse that I need her to do something extremely serious and intense about her drinking and lying, and it is her choice, but if she doesn't I don't think I can stay in our marriage. I think my being honest is the good part, but obviously she doesn't want to work on her addictions or she would be...

5thofFive · 5thofFive

after 10 years of marriage and 2 kids, finally came to my senses that my husband is a bona fide alcoholic. I really believed he wasn't drinking when he said he wasn't (or was only drinking in moderation, when he was trying that), until I'd find him passed out every 6-8 months or so from drinking alone when...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Trying to relax after computer problems. My head hurts & I am so darn tired of messing w/ the mess. Like I said yesterday, my weekend went well. Now back to the grind! I don't have a job but sometimes it feels like I am working my butt off just to survive! I am so frustrated! This is not a positive post at a...

WarmHands · WarmHands

Hello everyone. I'm posting today because my family, similar to many of yours, is suffering the affects of living with an alcoholic and addict. My mother as been on anti-depressants and valium for 23years. About 15 years ago, she added alcohol to her list of coping devices. Our family has swept it all...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I'm sitting here reflecting on today and I'd say overall today was a good day. For one, my AM went to work. Secondly, when she came home she only had 1 (as far as I know) glass of wine...that may not seem like a lot but she usually has 3+ glasses of wine a night...so this is an improvement.

el-cee · el-cee

My mothering instinct is strong. I've built a life away from my ex and I so want my kids to be here enjoying the fruits of my labour. I've worked really hard and against the odds at times to have a good career, wages not that good, and I now have a reasonable lifestyle. Small luxuries like a full fridge, inte...

lnc12 · lnc12

I had a conversation with my AH over the phone today, and instead of letting him ruin my day, I just needed to come here to vent. He called twice, and I missed them. Finally, on the third call, I answered. He was nearing drunk, so I should have just told him I would talk to him when he sobered up, but my willpow...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New Here (Preview) So, I'm new here and new to this world. My AH is in an inpatient treatment facility -- due out a week from Sunday. He's been really taking rehab seriously and the 12 steps. I'm so proud of him and what he is doing for himself. I am scared, though... I am scared because he is more like the man I married now t...	Giggleball	6	369	Apr 1, 2013 by Giggleball
	cant let go! (Preview) My son, 19, who is showing signs of progressing in his quest to not feel what he feels or think what he thinks about himself. He is currently homeless, he has a court case coming up in the next couple of weeks, there is a real chance he will go to prison for failing twice to comply with probation, so he is...	el-cee	8	377	Mar 31, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Is this ever going to change (Preview) It just seems like it is the same day after day. Money problems, drama from the alcoholic, work problems. Blah, blah, blah. I have been attending AL-ANON meetings on Monday and I love going but life just seems depressing and meaningless.	MAGK55	7	461	Mar 31, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Hurting, Loving, Believing, Trusting, Fearing, etc, etc, etc... (Preview) On my wall is a picture of my son, who is holding his new born, first child, the day he was born. Both have their eyes closed and the love and connectedness is so obvious in that picture. My grandchild is now 10 years old. Then I have another picture... of my son's mug shot taken in jail. Not on my wall of c...	John	6	400	Mar 31, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Physically sick...good! (Preview) It might be the flu or whatever. It started coming on this morning just as I was waking up. I needed support to stand without wavering back and forth and I had a cup of coffee and felt better; got my truck and made it to my home meeting. *God can I be more greatly blessed than what has been given to me with thi...*	Jerry F	9	476	Mar 31, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Oh boy, here we go again! (Preview) Yesterday I received an email from my mother saying my family is going to my brother's home in another state for Easter. I only have this one sibling, its just the four of us and his wife and my only niece who Im crazy about. My brother's wife's family will be there too. We have always spent holidays togeth...	WorkingThroughIt	11	339	Mar 31, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	People pleasing martyr complex (Preview) I'm awake at 2 AM ruminating and cooking up a resentment against 1 of my bosses. I had an idea about a training for gay and lesbian awareness, sensitivity, and resources. I have some connections outside of work and have used them to help my office/organization before. Generally speaking, I am a dy...	pinkchip	22	1077	Mar 31, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Quit My Job Yesterday (Preview) I just couldn't stand it anymore. This attorney is the most self-centered, rude, condescending person I have ever met. Not only that, I truly believe she is a hoarder. 50% of my day is spent searching for things that she has misplaced in that trash heap that she calls an office. The other 40% is spent m...	wornoutmrsfixit	7	445	Mar 31, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Give in to the addict or take a stand? (Preview) Over the last few days my addicted son who no longer lives with me has been contacting me and giving me a lot of grief because I will not let him have his box of 50 to 75 DVD;s (which I paid for when he lived with me). The reason I will not let him have them is because I know that he will sell them for drug money. I...	sheristeele	9	340	Mar 31, 2013 by Pushka
	Fear when spouse is starting rehabilitation, codependent? (Preview) Hi. I am posting tonight because my boyfriend has decided that he wants to look into a thirty day facility like passages. Or something cheaper obviously. He is going to call his mom tonight and tell her, and ask about insurance or what he should do. I am literally riddled with anxiety and fear??? :conf...	giraffe13	6	310	Mar 31, 2013 by giraffe13
	on a positive track! (Preview) Back to the good old days when I was being more positive. I feel like I have been suffering from negativity. I just needed to get humble a bit to get the gratitude back. I have been a little bit uncomfortable in my own skin but today I feel like I can do almost anything that I put my mind to. If something goes wr...	Hoot Nanny	3	274	Mar 30, 2013 by el-cee
	Rebuilding bridges (Preview) -- Edited by Maurice on Thursday 28th of March 2013 12:17:27 PM	Maurice	4	268	Mar 30, 2013 by milkwood
	Promises - for anyone and everyone.... (Preview) http://alanon.activeboard.com/t52247626/the-promises-of-alanon/	canadianguy	3	298	Mar 30, 2013 by John
	holidays :( (Preview) As the holiday approaches the drama with my AH has already started. He didn't come home wednesday night and today he is off and already its a big drama about his job. I'm off all weekend from both my jobs. I know I'm going to a meeting tomorrow. But I need to make plans with family or friends the rest of weeke...	texasgal	3	224	Mar 30, 2013 by John
	trying to stay positive (Preview) Hi Everyone, I haven't posted in a while because things at my house have been really really bad, and all week all I have wanted to do is come home from work and crawl in bed and hide. Today as I was walking down the hall at work, I looked out at the sun shining. I began thinking about how we finally have a bea...	imom	3	286	Mar 30, 2013 by tortuga
	It really was easier .. (Preview) to be angry .. lol. Now the anger was exhausting, at least I could keep up the steel gates and walls and not have to deal with the hurt. Ironically, STBAX moved out 15 months ago and I'm only NOW dealing with the hurt. Being angry afforded me not to face my pain initially and I had a lot of pain going into t...	Pushka	10	547	Mar 30, 2013 by Pushka
	Finding A Sponsor (Preview) Hi, This is my first post and I'm very lost right now. I hope someone can point me in the right direction. I don't live near by Al Anon meetings but I would like to find a sponsor, someone to email/talk on the phone. Does anyone know how can I do it? Thank you very much in advance!	seekinganswers	4	274	Mar 30, 2013 by seekinganswers
	It finally happened (Preview) After six months of relapse that seemingly continued to get worse and worse I have asked my fiance to leave our home. I can no longer bear to live with the insanity in my life. She has continued to increase her use. Typically two nights a week she will not come home. I have found drug paraphenalia all ove...	Lupo	4	275	Mar 30, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Same old story (Preview) I was hopeful after yesterday's promises. AH said he was committed to recovery, blah blah blah. Today I get home from work, he is gone. There is a note on the table saying he is "planning to stay at his parents". I know him. This is how he can say he didn't lie. He "planned" to stay at h...	ParisMemories	7	317	Mar 29, 2013 by maryjane
	Thank you (Preview) Good Morning Sometimes when I get upset and worried and go into a tailspin I think why? I'm doing everything I should be doing to get healthy. Why do I continue to have a problem detaching... Well...I'm human. Those feelings will always be there, it's just how do I handle them to keep me safe and have pe...	Cathyinaz	7	390	Mar 29, 2013 by maryjane
	Payday (Preview) I'm doing a lot better, staying calm, working out a Plan B that actually excites me a little and then tomorrow is AH's payday (not that he's been to work in over a week!) Payday is the worst. He gets two physical checks. Cashes one and hands it to me for bills/groceries/gas, everything except his lovely m...	Number30	5	274	Mar 29, 2013 by maryjane
	The Do's and Don'ts (Preview) I went to a face to face meeting on Tuesday night and this was read. Very powerful. The Al-Anon Do's and Don'tsDO:Do forgiveDo be humbleDo take it easy tension is harmfulDo play find recreation and hobbiesDo keep on trying whenever you failDo learn the facts about alcoholismDo attend Al-Anon mee...	Jen61	4	8783	Mar 29, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	help!! new to all of THIS (Preview) Hi everyone..so glad to have found this community of support...I'm new to all of "THIS". I started dating this wonderful man whom I had known in my community in June 2012 not knowing he was alcoholic...and not knowing the least thing about alcoholism..I don't drink..never have, didn't...	Hopeful925	6	277	Mar 29, 2013 by canadianguy
	Who is he now? Do I even like him? (Preview) From what I've read, when an alcoholic is recovering they become a new person. They reconstruct themselves as they are without the alcohol. I'm 99% sure my AH has been sober for about 4 weeks. Still working on myself and getting off the crazy-train/roller coaster. The thing I'm really strugglin...	SpiderArcana	8	436	Mar 29, 2013 by Giggleball
	How to detach with love? Alcoholic daughter (Preview) My 32 year old alcoholic daughter associates with other alcoholics (they meet at least 5 nights a week at bars, plus they meet for lunch and sometimes at homes to drink at other times). All their get togethers involve hours and hours of drinking. She feels they are just having fun and what they are doi...	lgnutah	9	1158	Mar 29, 2013 by lgnutah
	My 2 A's (Husband & Mom) (Preview) At the top of my lungs i want to scream! I hate this feeling I have inside. It's empty! My 2 A's are my husband and my mom. Husbandbeen seperated 18 monthsmiss him tremendouslyhe's in treatment 45 days cleani'm going see him this weekend Momboundary- i don't go to her house after work, don't wanna be ar...	Sincerely	2	235	Mar 29, 2013 by Tracy
	She is sick, sick, sick (Preview) We come home from vacation to find our AD got fired from her job a few weeks ago and has been hiding that fact from us. My husband was not in the room when she confided this to me, and she just curled up in a ball and kept crying and crying, saying that is not the worst part . I know better than this after almost 3...	LeenieBeanie	7	709	Mar 29, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	He's drinking already! (Preview) Two days out of the hospital and my son is already drinking. This time it hurts. I'm hurt. He is so depressed and hurting so much I'm afraid he is not going to make it. My "what ifs " kicked in big time. I'm scared and fear for his life right now. I am trying to let it pass but I had to write som...	Cathyinaz	12	476	Mar 29, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Here we go again. (Preview) I am tired. As I know so many others are. I posted a few days ago, and here I am again anxious and scared. after a calm 3 days, today he went to his mother's house having said he would be back here between 6.30 and 7 pm. I sent him a text saying food would be ready at 7.30 and he phoned to say he'd be back at 7.45. No s...	Sun sun	2	227	Mar 29, 2013 by dponlyme
	All the chaos that can fit in one day... (Preview) I wrote about my AH being drunk at 8:00 yesterday. Well, apparently he just kept drinking. I got a call from his grandmother at 1:00 PM telling me that he had fallen and he had a big knot on his head. She wanted me to come over to look at it, and I told her that it wouldn't do any good for me to be there, and that if...	lnc12	10	354	Mar 29, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Some pictures to brighten your day! (Preview) Have found myself much happier doing what is innately me, a bit of rehab and rescue. A gal and her family are rening the 20 acres across the road from me. She has everything...they are all sooo sweet and healthy. I ended up rescuing Augy my Berkshire/guinea hog mix. He is gorgious, won't be as big as a regu...	Debilyn	4	288	Mar 29, 2013 by Breakingfree
	AW is struggling mentally and I am frustrated (Preview) My AW is having a really hard time mentally right now.. I see alot of depression and thinking errors going on but I am frustrated that it always ends up with her being angry with me. Yesterday she woke me up and asked if she could take my NEW tablet outside so she could listen to music while she cooked on the...	dponlyme	4	299	Mar 29, 2013 by Jerry F
	She kicked off again ! (Preview) Hi all Well my AW kicked off again on Sunday,she went into total meltdown while the kids where still up.I tried to get her to stop as I hate the kids to see her like that but I was talking to the wall.I remembered the steps and tried with all my heart to stay calm but when she kept on screaming at me over and over...	gorby928	5	435	Mar 29, 2013 by gorby928
	Whoa...I HAVE changed (Preview) So the exA called me tonight to tell me how concerned he is about our kids...playing too many video games, and my 16 yo not doing well in school. The exA is telling me all these things I need to do...and that it's probably "too late" to turn things around for my 16yo. He says "you are so bus...	rehprof	7	430	Mar 29, 2013 by Pushka
	He will never be clean (Preview) And so that's it. But I still feel like it's out of my control how soon all this ends. Tuesday morning I called his probation officer's boss and told her everything. Just the right time apparently. Unfortunately his probation officer actually died 3 weeks ago. So he was going to be reassigned an...	NicoleDiver	1	241	Mar 29, 2013 by lgnutah
	Patience (Preview) I am struggling w/ being patient & compassionate. I just want it to happen now--whatever it is! I am having a pretty good day today. I need a nap, though. I have been struggling w/ yesterday's reading in Hope for Today. It was talking about having compassion for others. My mom is my toughest one. Tha...	Hoot Nanny	1	174	Mar 28, 2013 by Sincerely
	i am working on 'SIMPLE' and 'TRUST' (Preview) I noticed that my trust got hurt the most in my history with the A. trust in myself and my 'judgments' of situations and people, and trust in others not to hurt me. it has a lot to do with my expectations. I somewhat expected heathy nehavior from unhealthy people, including myself. Well, than life opene...	tortuga	5	404	Mar 28, 2013 by dponlyme
	Case Dismissed (Preview) Today was his trial date. The case was dismissed, after both he and I spoke with the prosecutor (individually), and I also spoke with the court advocate. I could have shared lots of information about his alcoholism, and insisted that he be sentenced to a court-ordered treatment program. (This was ad...	ParisMemories	4	705	Mar 28, 2013 by tiredtonite
	I Detach and he drinks more and more (Preview) One of my books .. Think it was getting them sober... Talks about living your own life and I kind of have. I've been doin my sons baseball practices. And helping update an older home my daughter just bought. Which I've stayed at twice when my ah pulled drunk nights and I just didn't wanna deal with it. An...	sweeetr	8	349	Mar 28, 2013 by el-cee
	detachment is hard (Preview) So when I started this journey to make myself better, I had no idea it would make things so much harder. I thought I would change and he would just magically change . . . I thought it would shift the balance and if I was saner, he would be saner. Not yet. So I'm listening to people say: look after yourself, m...	forestfairy	9	433	Mar 28, 2013 by Aloha
	My mom and I had a fairly cathartic talk today (Preview) My mom and I had a pretty good carthartic talk tonight... I told her I was sorry for the regretful things that I had said to her because I was so upset and angry over her drinking. Is this one of the Twelve Steps? making amends? she asked me if I thought she had gotten better I said yes and no. She's going bac...	phoenixmagicgirl	6	268	Mar 28, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Adam Corolla on Change (Preview) I loved this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9G3xufj3Z4	Temple	0	338	Mar 27, 2013 by Temple
	alanon and professionals... (Preview) Things are going okay at the moment. In my home Alanon group I felt we needed to have a business and consciance meeting, fairly regularly.When my turn to chair a meeting came around, I bought this up. it seemed to bring up a lof of conflict. I was frightened of losing the group- or rather losing my respec...	DavidG	4	303	Mar 27, 2013 by hotrod
	How to Stop the Negative Thinking (Preview) Okay, how can we help an addict to stop with being so negative? AH is in treatment right now and in some days, he seems fine but in some days, he's so negative about everything. He keeps thinking he's really ruined and there's no cure and there's no hope. He goes to his outpatient addictions treatment cl...	Clueless Optimist	8	1071	Mar 28, 2013 by maryjane
	dealing with friends of the family coming to visit (Preview) A week from this Thursday, we are having family friends visit us from FL. As if there isn't enough tension in the house already between my mom and dad....now we have company coming...should we pretend like nothing is wrong with my mom or should we have an intervention of sorts...from my experience wit...	phoenixmagicgirl	2	284	Mar 27, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	When someone shows you who they are .. (Preview) Believe them. I have spent soooo much time believing what someone tells me that when they show me who they are I can't wrap my pea brain around the fact they are probably being honest about their actions vs their words. I have had a good laugh at myself over the past couple of days. One of them is the fact...	Pushka	12	631	Mar 27, 2013 by Flame
	more pics... (Preview) Its so neat hearing cows, goats, horses, my guineas love it. feels like eden again. OH and wild ducks in the pond!i Um brought in some straw for the guinea pigs, Augy pig thought it was for him...August Ronan McPhate. tory is the horse. The gal tried to help her but its too much. So she is mine. Dickens the p...	Debilyn	1	345	Mar 27, 2013 by Tracy
	He's drinking in the mornings now (Preview) Well, it's 8:30 AM here where I live. I got a call from our tax assessor as I was leaving work remindining me that March 28th is the last day that we can homestead our house. She didn't have my AH's number for some reason. Well the house was left to my AH when his father died, and it is still in his father's name...	lnc12	2	342	Mar 27, 2013 by Tracy
	Overwhelmed Again (Preview) This is currently what I am dealing with in my life right now: My AH has been actively drinking all 8 years of our marriage, got a DUI in 2008, he got better for about 6 months, but that was about it. He went backwards to blaming his mother who abandoned him, me and the kids. He thinks he doesn't have a problem...	Minaret	5	455	Mar 27, 2013 by pinkchip
	Alcohol dependent sis, drinks when she visits, hard for AH (Preview) My sister drinks every single day, but not to the point of drunkeness (as far as I know). She rations herself to 1/2 bottle of wine daily, and then more for special occasions or when on vacation or when getting together with friends. But always the 1/2 bottle per day. When she was scheduled to visit us,...	lgnutah	5	282	Mar 27, 2013 by pinkchip
	mental health days (Preview) I decided to talk to my boss about taking a few mental health days this week. She is somewhat familiar with what's going on but doesn't know all the gory details. She said she thought it would be a good idea and gave it her blessing. I have a feeling she's been through it too because she uses Al-Anon "l...	blondie99	1	461	Mar 27, 2013 by PP
	Got the call (Preview) My son is still alive. He spent 5 days in the hospital from a bike accident. Says he wasn't drinking . Found laying unconscious and 911 was called. He doesn't remember but that's what they told him. He complained about being in a neck brace for two days but the cat scans showed no damage. He said h...	Cathyinaz	10	381	Mar 27, 2013 by Auntyaya
	24,000 miles later, home from Thailand (Preview) When I arrived it Phuket my son appeared to be brain damaged. He walked with his legs far apart and he stumbled a lot. He had great trouble speaking and no short term memory. The hospital where he recovered from his near death binge, compounded by a bleeding ulcer, sent him out with 8 different meds, enou...	laurab	5	525	Mar 27, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	honesty and a little pressure (Preview) So I told my spouse that I need her to do something extremely serious and intense about her drinking and lying, and it is her choice, but if she doesn't I don't think I can stay in our marriage. I think my being honest is the good part, but obviously she doesn't want to work on her addictions or she would be...	Lyne	4	290	Mar 27, 2013 by Lyne
	Husband in rehab after intervention, do I still love him anymore? (Preview) after 10 years of marriage and 2 kids, finally came to my senses that my husband is a bona fide alcoholic. I really believed he wasn't drinking when he said he wasn't (or was only drinking in moderation, when he was trying that), until I'd find him passed out every 6-8 months or so from drinking alone when...	5thofFive	6	575	Mar 27, 2013 by lgnutah
	trying to relax (Preview) Trying to relax after computer problems. My head hurts & I am so darn tired of messing w/ the mess. Like I said yesterday, my weekend went well. Now back to the grind! I don't have a job but sometimes it feels like I am working my butt off just to survive! I am so frustrated! This is not a positive post at a...	Hoot Nanny	2	208	Mar 27, 2013 by hotrod
	Considering an Intervention...need help, advice, pointers please! Intervention enabling dual diagnosis' (Preview) Hello everyone. I'm posting today because my family, similar to many of yours, is suffering the affects of living with an alcoholic and addict. My mother as been on anti-depressants and valium for 23years. About 15 years ago, she added alcohol to her list of coping devices. Our family has swept it all...	WarmHands	7	7304	Mar 26, 2013 by Aloha
	A good day today... (Preview) I'm sitting here reflecting on today and I'd say overall today was a good day. For one, my AM went to work. Secondly, when she came home she only had 1 (as far as I know) glass of wine...that may not seem like a lot but she usually has 3+ glasses of wine a night...so this is an improvement.	phoenixmagicgirl	1	201	Mar 26, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	mothering role (Preview) My mothering instinct is strong. I've built a life away from my ex and I so want my kids to be here enjoying the fruits of my labour. I've worked really hard and against the odds at times to have a good career, wages not that good, and I now have a reasonable lifestyle. Small luxuries like a full fridge, inte...	el-cee	4	522	Mar 26, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Shouldn't have answered the phone... (Preview) I had a conversation with my AH over the phone today, and instead of letting him ruin my day, I just needed to come here to vent. He called twice, and I missed them. Finally, on the third call, I answered. He was nearing drunk, so I should have just told him I would talk to him when he sobered up, but my willpow...	lnc12	4	255	Mar 26, 2013 by lnc12
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