Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

We had my AM's best friend and her husband come up this week from FL and so far there haven't been any difficult situations involving my AM's drinking, which I'm very grateful to my HP for. My AM was very open with her best friend about her drinking, my AM told her best friend that she's heard others say tha...

Pushka · Pushka

I thought that was the neatest concept I heard shared recently. I don't believe in praying for strength, patience, because I do believe that the God of my understanding will deliver these lessons and so not the way I enjoy them. LOL!! That whole the apple didn't fall far from the tree in terms of God'...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

It's been a huge relief for me to be able to have a confidant in both my boss and our sous chef (I work in a cafe). To be able to share with them as both an employee and friend has helped me to feel as if I'm not on this crazy roller coaster ride alone. It's been very helpful to have their support.

Sincerely · Sincerely

My city has 2 face to face meetings. 6pm Sunday Night and 10 am Friday Mornings. I have a million excuses on why they are never convenient for me. On Sundays, I'm normally winding down and getting settled in for the evening. On Fridays, i'm at work. I need to dedicate some time to go to church and an ala...

HappyToBe · HappyToBe

I feel rather sarcastic right now. I feel like I want to make a silly joke out of this behaviour, yet I know sarcasm will get me nowhere. Almost week at home with my parents and our family perfection needs to be maintained to the outsider's eye. God help me shall I decide to make a mistake or silly decision....

Pushka · Pushka

I'm trying to reconsile at the moment the past, now for me as I've stated before I'm powerless over other people, places, things and the past. However, .. that being said I don't like or appreciate being spoon fed the past and then being told ohhh sorry that's in the past. Yes, it's in the past in terms o...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

Hi guys, I just wanted to say first how great all of the support over the years here has been amazing. Thank you! I posted a little while back about how I had come to a point where I felt I needed to leave my ABF of 4 years but felt that there was a wall between me and that outcome. He is not working a program, and w...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My life has been crazy busy going to college full time, working every weekend and raising my 2 girls all alone, although I do have a couple great friends that help me with running our kids one way and I do the other, I have accepted it is on me to do all that I can to raise my girls to the best of my abilities. I h...

cRaZyJaDe · cRaZyJaDe

Went to a F2F last night - My HP really knows what he's doing! This was my 2nd meeting with this particular group - The first meeting I went to on Tuesday, I didn't share - just wasn't ready, I guess. But I went back last night, and the reading was about "Fear" - the passage that I read was about...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

More than one good day in a row! I wish I could share more! Some days I feel like I am floating on a pink cloud. This is something I heard in early recovery but then it was a negative thing--not for me! I want to ride the cloud & the wave as long as I am able. I feel a sense of relief. My AH & I are getting alo...

forestfairy · forestfairy

So I took my son and left and went to a shelter. It's been about 10 days now, and I've been speaking to counsellors and trying to negotiate with my spouse to move out to an apt and let my son and I live in the house because it is near his school and it is way too much upheaval for a child. After much delay finall...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Hello friends AH has checked himself into detox / mental health facility again. This is the second time since the end of February. He has told his case worker that when he completes the 7 day inpatient he wants to go back to the 9-3 outpatient program. Both his case worker and I agree that he needs long-te...

HappyToBe · HappyToBe

Hi all. This great group and your shares on this page really keep me going for last few months. This is my first post and possible not last. I am currently visiting my home country, my hometown and staying with my folks that I haven't seen for past 18 months. We usually get on very well ( not surprising of co...

PP · PP

A little soulmate thought from my head.....I believe we have many soulmates hanging around for us and some come with expiration dates.

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

Our A daughter was told she has to be out of our home in June, has no money, no job and here she is, spending 9 hours today getting extensions in her hair!!!! Her birthday is tomorrow and she wants us to take her out to dinner!!!!! I don't get it, and perhaps never will............... -- Edited by LeenieBe...

cinders · cinders

So, today I decided to check the online court forum and see if my soon to be ex husband had filed any new papers that I might not have found out about yet. We had filed a joinder and were doing our divorce without any hostility or fighting. It is just going to be over. We are just walking away. Sad that it h...

milkwood · milkwood

I have just enjoyed my favourite walk in the mountains, starting near a shower of snow melt and passing through a narrow gorge where the river was tumbling in full flow. As the path climbed higher the mountain mists wrapped the wise old beech trees and when I reached the highest point of the path, where...

Red Hawk · Red Hawk

Yesterday's daily reading REALLY hit me right between the eyes, and I wanted to share it with everyone. Hope you all get as much out of it as I did! Today I Accept My Mistakes I embrace my lack of perfection and I accept my mistakes. I have the right to be wrong. My self-worth does not have to evaporate when I...

Clueless Optimist · Clueless Optimist

I am so upset right now. :( AH was doing so well and he's been off the drugs for almost two weeks now and off the alcohol for two months but a few minutes ago, he just walked out of the front door to go to the smoke shop to get some spice. He's been going to his outpatient treatment classes but obviously, he'...

aroundthewayJ · aroundthewayJ

I am new to Alanon, and spent many years avoiding getting involved in Alanon until I was forced to when my life threw up. I grew up with an alcohaulic mother. She is now 16 years "sober" yet she still has all of the typical alcohaulic behaviors. Selfishness, narcassism, attention whoring. T...

shortCakeSlayer · shortCakeSlayer

Hello all! First post on here. I mostly need a place to put this all down and hopefully get some support, thoughts, and advice from others going through it. My mother has been an alcoholic since I was about 12 or 13, right after her mother passed away. I'm 100% positive she was dealing with depression a...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Is there an actual set of directions on how to do the steps in Alanon anywhere? If so, what book are they in? i don't mean where the steps are TALKED about, but an actual, clear-cut set of directions? thanks!

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My adult son is going down hill physically and I can't get him to start taking care of himself by eating right and resting as he should. The years of drug abuse is now showing on him so very bad and I am helpless and I know it, but I love my son very much and remember the good times before drugs took him over. I...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH had another black out binge about 2 weeks ago. He was traveling for work and when he came home he committed himself to NOT drinking....AGAIN. He says he knows I've heard it all before. He's still not going to go to AA and is basically doing this on willpower alone, as he's done so many other times i...

skytraveler · skytraveler

Usual story: Dad lifelong heavy drinker, now textbook alcoholic. He has liver disease, quite advanced but not quite sure what stage. He has jaundice so its bad. He has good days and bad days. He cuts down, get stronger and then crashes and becomes a raging monster. I live 200 miles away and he is alone ha...

cinders · cinders

Its been a while since I posted anything. Mainly been really busy with the kids and working. Life just keeps going and there is so much going on. When I was married to my AH I always felt like a single parent, did everything myself, got little help from him. They are not his kids, but still he was a part o...

Jlr76 · Jlr76

Short version of my story I have been with my husband twelve years And about a year go he told me wanted divorce. Well I love him and told him this could be fixed. Well the back story is mom ther died unexpectedly three years ago and he never grieved her. And last week I found out he had an affair. This man is so...

Rinn · Rinn

My husband has a friend I really don't like. He has done alot of drugs with him and his friend has been known to buy and sell stuff. Each time my husband has done something really bad it has been with or fromthis particular friend. He claims they are close like brothers and won't cut him off he just sneaks a...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

Hello all,Hope everyone at MIP had a wonderful weekend.Now for the rest of the story. For the past week our A daughter has been receiving unsolicited letters /post cards from defense attorneys. We knew something was up. Now, we find our A daughter not only got fired three weeks ago, she was arrested an...

imom · imom

Hi everyone. I am trying to move on with my life with my children, but my AH just keeps coming back. He relapses, I kick him out, then he comes back. I am working on my legal and financial issues to protect myself and my kids, but it is so hard to maintain my sanity when he is physically near me. He and I don'...

seekinganswers · seekinganswers

Hi, I'm new here and I'm a mess right now so please bare with me. Has anyone here have the A go dark on you? Totally ignore you? Cut contact with you out of nowhere? and literally disappear? Let you in complet dispair not knowing what happened or why they did it? The A in my life has done this several times and...

pixie · pixie

Hi everyone,haven't posted in a while.Hope everyone is doing good. My alcoholic father in law is 80 and showing signs of dementia or alzheimers.He drinks constantly and has for years.Taught my husband everything he knows.I'm wondering what will happen to him if he needs to be put in a nursing home an...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

AH had his last outpatient day today. He was drinking most of the weekend, so it is pretty clear that he can't do this on his own. A week ago he said he couldnt wait for IOP to end so he could go to AA everday, but who knows if he will follow through. I am feeling pretty accepting of the drinking, he's gonna do...

Sincerely · Sincerely

over the last 18 months i've been living totally seperately from my husband. went for months without even seeing him. i did talk to him each day. however i avoided seeing him, as his behavior was competely unacceptable to me. he was using and drinking excessively. my heart always wished he'd get h...

sweeetr · sweeetr

.. this wkend, I did a lot of "me" stuff (painting etc) My AH did a lot of yard work, no telling how much he drank but by every night he couldnt talk and would stumble in the house. I just did my thing, and he did his. Our son came home Sat evening, my mother in law dropped him off 3 hours early with m...

scaredandconfused · scaredandconfused

I thought I was over letting my stbxah lure me into an arguement. I know what he's doing and I've been doing so good at not responding to his nonsense but tonight I let him bait me into the crazy ranting and raving that I know he wanted. I have not heard from him for 3 weeks. Despite having serious financial...

buffalo78 · buffalo78

Now that my alcoholic ex has moved out and completely disappeared, I have had some quiet time to just sit with myself. Its been pretty uncomfortable, actually. And every time I start thinking something positive about no longer having to deal with him around, I feel guilty. How do you deal with that?...

1976love · 1976love

Tonight is the night I go to my AH 90 day celebration meeting. Don't know why I am a little nervous. I have never been to an AA meeting ever. My husband says he has to speak and wants me there. I will go. I am proud of him for controlling the disease for 90 days...he's longest stretch ever. Every day is a...

buffalo78 · buffalo78

What is wrong with me? I am serious. I kicked the alcoholic boyfriend out a few days ago and today it really hit me. I am just really hurt by all this. I feel like I keep going through this over and over and over again. Kicking him out, obsessing and worrying he is going to die.... I really thought this...

CeeBee · CeeBee

I've been in Al-Anon for almost 6 months now - and it's been an absolute roller coaster. For the first time in my life I now have the ability to sit back and see this family disease cause chaos in my family of origin - and in my own life.Today I had a huge argument with my partner. I've been ummm-ing and ahhh-i...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Today my son asked me to report his baseball home runs on a website, he couldn't figure out how to do it. I figured it out and reported them. I found myself feeling resentful again, I thought to myself, why can't my ex husband do this? Do the resentments ever go away?

dponlyme · dponlyme

I was feeling nauseated this past day and stayed in bed all day and slept. Feel better now but skipped counseling which sucks. AW wants me to take her to the store after 10 pm and since I don't have a car I would have to borrow my mothers car and she had already went to bed. AW throws tantrum because I refus...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't live in Hawaii or Heaven but I think where I live is paradise! Just saying that I would rather be here than anywhere else. I guess wherever you are if you are happy, you can find yourself exactly where you are supposed to be. I guess I am settled completely after over 18 years in the same place. I used...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Open my eyes and I see the progress. My heart softens. My nerves are a roller coaster! Yesterday I got a phone call from Husband. His insurance will not cover after 45 days on inpatient. I was upset, confused. It was a bump in the road. We have options. Today he and his counsler called me. We are worki...

LizLooking · LizLooking

I am constantly struggling with finding my boundaries with my best friend, and ensuring that I am not sacrificing myself for him too much. He is a recovering alcoholic, and has been sober for over 6 months. I am so proud of him, and send him all the love in the world. Whenever he has a problem though, or a s...

ntxalanon · ntxalanon

I have posted in the past, but my wife has struggled with alchohol addiction for 6 years and we have 3 beautiful children aged 5 (twins) and 2. She has been to rehab and managed to stay sober for a year, and since then has had a couple of relapses (now only going a couple of days without drinking) to the poin...

DoingThisForMyGuy · DoingThisForMyGuy

About a year ago, my boyfriend declared himself an addict. He actually had a problem with cocaine more than anything and after losing his job, decided to start going to NA meetings. He started going to AA meetings as well, since there were more AA meetings he could go to in our area and at certain times...

rainlax · rainlax

This wknd there was a big AA conference in my city, which my partner attended. He took me to hear an al-anon speaker yesterday morning, who was amazing. The person chairing that meeting was an al-anon member who is also the al-anon chair for the conference. My partner is on the conference planning comm...

rehprof · rehprof

My exA has been relatively quiet. This week he called, and started in on me...the first time he called, I was able to use my alanon tools...I posted about it... He has been very ill, so ill that my 10yo asked me "is Dad gonna die?" He has no health insurance (my fault for divorcing him, you see),...

norasq · norasq

I separated from my husband of 19 years about 2 months ago. The separation was preceded by years of trying to work on our marriage, lots of marriage counseling, and my being so confused and frustrated by his always forgetting, his seeming checked out on so many levels, his lack of interest in doing any...

PP · PP

It is time for a face to face meeting...I missed my meeting last week and chose to do some volunteer work instead, so now I have the "I suck" voices popping up. A testimony as to how quickly I can fall back into old patterns. Since I know better, I cannot blame anyone else

. I was even telli...

Sincerely · Sincerely

gezz, this morning at 6am 5pm seemed sooooo far away. almost too far away. well, i'm almost there, made it through my work day. even going to pick up some dinner for me and my bestfriend. she'll prolly make me go exercise (we walk 2 miles on an overpass). maybe tonight won't seem as dark as yesterday was...

DavidG · DavidG

A woman leaves an Alanon meeting, punching her fist in the air: I'm free, I'm free! A little boy bowls up to her and fixes her gaze: That's nothing, ma'am, I'm four.

buffalo78 · buffalo78

Hi, I went to my first al-anon meeting two days ago and felt very welcomed. I plan on going again, but in between, I just need to share and get this out of my head. I hope I am in the right place and if not, please let me know... Anyways, for about 16 years, right after high school, I got together with a guy who...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yeah for those who know this: this is definitely lyrics to a song! I am so grateful for the good days & promise of a bright future. I really have nothing to complain about today! I can wear my shades even when the sun isn't out: optimism! I hope that everyone who reads this will find hope & some insp...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

Yesterday, my AM told me, whilst sober (at the moment) that she would like to get back into going to church with me. This is the first time she's ever said anything like this before...is this a sign from her HP, who she calls God to help her? has anyone else had this experience? I'm hopeful that this is a new...

Rinn · Rinn

So I freaked out about 3 weeks ago, He stopped pills and found him doing something else WAY worse. It was horrible. I almost left. I laid down some bounderies, and stuck by them and he has respected that. But we worked through it, I have been doing alanon online in evenings. We have talked a lot, air...

stephaniej · stephaniej

For those of you who don't know my story, in a nutshell, I work a regular 8-5 job, and my AH works second shift (3-11). He does the very large majority of his drinking at home after work, when I am asleep and it doesn't interfere directly with family time. My AH has had periods where he is very emotionally...

Ms S · Ms S

my daughter is 20 she's been having a bit of a hard time recently as she broke up with her boyfriend and one of her university flatmates she is finding difficult to live with The upshot is that she's been spending more time at home and it's just what I needed We've had lots of lovely conversations and been...

John · John

I read a good number of post here tonight and even replied to a few of them. One really hit me hard. It was someone asking if anyone else had a alcoholic do a disappearing act on them, and how did they cope with it. It brought back so many different memories of my own life that before I even decided to reply...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A step in the right direction for my AM?... (Preview) We had my AM's best friend and her husband come up this week from FL and so far there haven't been any difficult situations involving my AM's drinking, which I'm very grateful to my HP for. My AM was very open with her best friend about her drinking, my AM told her best friend that she's heard others say tha...	phoenixmagicgirl	5	279	Apr 7, 2013 by Path to Serenity
	Waiting passionately for patience .. (Preview) I thought that was the neatest concept I heard shared recently. I don't believe in praying for strength, patience, because I do believe that the God of my understanding will deliver these lessons and so not the way I enjoy them. LOL!! That whole the apple didn't fall far from the tree in terms of God'...	Pushka	4	1083	Apr 7, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Having a confidant in my boss (Preview) It's been a huge relief for me to be able to have a confidant in both my boss and our sous chef (I work in a cafe). To be able to share with them as both an employee and friend has helped me to feel as if I'm not on this crazy roller coaster ride alone. It's been very helpful to have their support.	phoenixmagicgirl	1	341	Apr 7, 2013 by PP
	Face To Face Meetings (Preview) My city has 2 face to face meetings. 6pm Sunday Night and 10 am Friday Mornings. I have a million excuses on why they are never convenient for me. On Sundays, I'm normally winding down and getting settled in for the evening. On Fridays, i'm at work. I need to dedicate some time to go to church and an ala...	Sincerely	5	297	Apr 7, 2013 by lgnutah
	There always must be a culprit in our home (Preview) I feel rather sarcastic right now. I feel like I want to make a silly joke out of this behaviour, yet I know sarcasm will get me nowhere. Almost week at home with my parents and our family perfection needs to be maintained to the outsider's eye. God help me shall I decide to make a mistake or silly decision....	HappyToBe	7	387	Apr 7, 2013 by HappyToBe
	The past .. (Preview) I'm trying to reconsile at the moment the past, now for me as I've stated before I'm powerless over other people, places, things and the past. However, .. that being said I don't like or appreciate being spoon fed the past and then being told ohhh sorry that's in the past. Yes, it's in the past in terms o...	Pushka	15	496	Apr 7, 2013 by Pushka
	After years, I am finally leaving ABF (Preview) Hi guys, I just wanted to say first how great all of the support over the years here has been amazing. Thank you! I posted a little while back about how I had come to a point where I felt I needed to leave my ABF of 4 years but felt that there was a wall between me and that outcome. He is not working a program, and w...	Sangyaa	16	607	Apr 7, 2013 by grateful2be
	Life after the A (Preview) My life has been crazy busy going to college full time, working every weekend and raising my 2 girls all alone, although I do have a couple great friends that help me with running our kids one way and I do the other, I have accepted it is on me to do all that I can to raise my girls to the best of my abilities. I h...	Breakingfree	5	400	Apr 6, 2013 by tiredtonite
	It's a good day!!! (Preview) Went to a F2F last night - My HP really knows what he's doing! This was my 2nd meeting with this particular group - The first meeting I went to on Tuesday, I didn't share - just wasn't ready, I guess. But I went back last night, and the reading was about "Fear" - the passage that I read was about...	cRaZyJaDe	4	297	Apr 6, 2013 by lgnutah
	can't believe how good it is getting; actually I can! (Preview) More than one good day in a row! I wish I could share more! Some days I feel like I am floating on a pink cloud. This is something I heard in early recovery but then it was a negative thing--not for me! I want to ride the cloud & the wave as long as I am able. I feel a sense of relief. My AH & I are getting alo...	Hoot Nanny	3	320	Apr 6, 2013 by lgnutah
	Just when I thought it couldn't get worse (Preview) So I took my son and left and went to a shelter. It's been about 10 days now, and I've been speaking to counsellors and trying to negotiate with my spouse to move out to an apt and let my son and I live in the house because it is near his school and it is way too much upheaval for a child. After much delay finall...	forestfairy	2	463	Apr 6, 2013 by pinkchip
	Asking AH to Get into a long term recovery program (Preview) Hello friends AH has checked himself into detox / mental health facility again. This is the second time since the end of February. He has told his case worker that when he completes the 7 day inpatient he wants to go back to the 9-3 outpatient program. Both his case worker and I agree that he needs long-te...	ParisMemories	5	356	Apr 6, 2013 by Mattie
	Back home, back to state of 'frozen' (Preview) Hi all. This great group and your shares on this page really keep me going for last few months. This is my first post and possible not last. I am currently visiting my home country, my hometown and staying with my folks that I haven't seen for past 18 months. We usually get on very well ( not surprising of co...	HappyToBe	3	319	Apr 5, 2013 by el-cee
	Just a little note about soulmates (Preview) A little soulmate thought from my head.....I believe we have many soulmates hanging around for us and some come with expiration dates.	PP	8	366	Apr 5, 2013 by el-cee
	Priorities (Preview) Our A daughter was told she has to be out of our home in June, has no money, no job and here she is, spending 9 hours today getting extensions in her hair!!!! Her birthday is tomorrow and she wants us to take her out to dinner!!!!! I don't get it, and perhaps never will............... -- Edited by LeenieBe...	LeenieBeanie	3	282	Apr 5, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	Surprise!! You've been divorced for 11 days!! (Preview) So, today I decided to check the online court forum and see if my soon to be ex husband had filed any new papers that I might not have found out about yet. We had filed a joinder and were doing our divorce without any hostility or fighting. It is just going to be over. We are just walking away. Sad that it h...	cinders	5	363	Apr 5, 2013 by PP
	A treat to share... (Preview) I have just enjoyed my favourite walk in the mountains, starting near a shower of snow melt and passing through a narrow gorge where the river was tumbling in full flow. As the path climbed higher the mountain mists wrapped the wise old beech trees and when I reached the highest point of the path, where...	milkwood	4	258	Apr 5, 2013 by AlAnonDave
	A Daily Reading (re-posted from ACoA board) (Preview) Yesterday's daily reading REALLY hit me right between the eyes, and I wanted to share it with everyone. Hope you all get as much out of it as I did! *Today I Accept My Mistakes* I embrace my lack of perfection and I accept my mistakes. I have the right to be wrong. My self-worth does not have to evaporate when I...	Red Hawk	4	4819	Apr 5, 2013 by bm5040
	Back to Zero AGAIN (Preview) I am so upset right now. :( AH was doing so well and he's been off the drugs for almost two weeks now and off the alcohol for two months but a few minutes ago, he just walked out of the front door to go to the smoke shop to get some spice. He's been going to his outpatient treatment classes but obviously, he'...	Clueless Optimist	4	390	Apr 5, 2013 by Tasha
	Dealing with my Alcohaulic Mom (Preview) I am new to Alanon, and spent many years avoiding getting involved in Alanon until I was forced to when my life threw up. I grew up with an alcohaulic mother. She is now 16 years "sober" yet she still has all of the typical alcohaulic behaviors. Selfishness, narcassism, attention whoring. T...	aroundthewayJ	6	281	Apr 5, 2013 by beckon11
	Just decided to cut off all contact with alcoholic parent (Preview) Hello all! First post on here. I mostly need a place to put this all down and hopefully get some support, thoughts, and advice from others going through it. My mother has been an alcoholic since I was about 12 or 13, right after her mother passed away. I'm 100% positive she was dealing with depression a...	shortCakeSlayer	2	1660	Apr 5, 2013 by hotrod
	Alanon 12 steps? (Preview) Is there an actual set of directions on how to do the steps in Alanon anywhere? If so, what book are they in? i don't mean where the steps are TALKED about, but an actual, clear-cut set of directions? thanks!	WorkingThroughIt	12	663	Apr 4, 2013 by el-cee
	I Scared..... (Preview) My adult son is going down hill physically and I can't get him to start taking care of himself by eating right and resting as he should. The years of drug abuse is now showing on him so very bad and I am helpless and I know it, but I love my son very much and remember the good times before drugs took him over. I...	DreamsOver	3	426	Apr 4, 2013 by hotrod
	Resentful that AH 'seems' better (Preview) My AH had another black out binge about 2 weeks ago. He was traveling for work and when he came home he committed himself to NOT drinking....AGAIN. He says he knows I've heard it all before. He's still not going to go to AA and is basically doing this on willpower alone, as he's done so many other times i...	ilovedogs	12	527	Apr 4, 2013 by shortCakeSlayer
	Alcoholic father, drink himself to death, liver disease. Need to learn how to cope better. (Preview) Usual story: Dad lifelong heavy drinker, now textbook alcoholic. He has liver disease, quite advanced but not quite sure what stage. He has jaundice so its bad. He has good days and bad days. He cuts down, get stronger and then crashes and becomes a raging monster. I live 200 miles away and he is alone ha...	skytraveler	6	500	Apr 4, 2013 by Jerry F
	One day at a time (Preview) Its been a while since I posted anything. Mainly been really busy with the kids and working. Life just keeps going and there is so much going on. When I was married to my AH I always felt like a single parent, did everything myself, got little help from him. They are not his kids, but still he was a part o...	cinders	5	469	Apr 4, 2013 by ilovedogs
	I am new here (Preview) Short version of my story I have been with my husband twelve years And about a year go he told me wanted divorce. Well I love him and told him this could be fixed. Well the back story is mom ther died unexpectedly three years ago and he never grieved her. And last week I found out he had an affair. This man is so...	Jlr76	3	274	Apr 4, 2013 by nmike
	how to handle and keep true to steps.... (Preview) My husband has a friend I really don't like. He has done alot of drugs with him and his friend has been known to buy and sell stuff. Each time my husband has done something really bad it has been with or fromthis particular friend. He claims they are close like brothers and won't cut him off he just sneaks a...	Rinn	5	460	Apr 4, 2013 by PP
	She is sick, sick, sick part 2 (Preview) Hello all,Hope everyone at MIP had a wonderful weekend.Now for the rest of the story. For the past week our A daughter has been receiving unsolicited letters /post cards from defense attorneys. We knew something was up. Now, we find our A daughter not only got fired three weeks ago, she was arrested an...	LeenieBeanie	6	372	Apr 4, 2013 by Pushka
	Trying to move on (Preview) Hi everyone. I am trying to move on with my life with my children, but my AH just keeps coming back. He relapses, I kick him out, then he comes back. I am working on my legal and financial issues to protect myself and my kids, but it is so hard to maintain my sanity when he is physically near me. He and I don'...	imom	2	296	Apr 4, 2013 by el-cee
	Anyone had this happened??? How do you cope??? (Preview) Hi, I'm new here and I'm a mess right now so please bare with me. Has anyone here have the A go dark on you? Totally ignore you? Cut contact with you out of nowhere? and literally disappear? Let you in complet dispair not knowing what happened or why they did it? The A in my life has done this several times and...	seekinganswers	8	654	Apr 4, 2013 by Help
	alcoholic father in law and dementia (Preview) Hi everyone,haven't posted in a while.Hope everyone is doing good. My alcoholic father in law is 80 and showing signs of dementia or alzheimers.He drinks constantly and has for years.Taught my husband everything he knows.I'm wondering what will happen to him if he needs to be put in a nursing home an...	pixie	5	462	Apr 4, 2013 by Mattie
	Need to stay strong and focused (Preview) AH had his last outpatient day today. He was drinking most of the weekend, so it is pretty clear that he can't do this on his own. A week ago he said he couldnt wait for IOP to end so he could go to AA everday, but who knows if he will follow through. I am feeling pretty accepting of the drinking, he's gonna do...	ParisMemories	5	474	Apr 4, 2013 by ParisMemories
	i'm not perfect (Preview) over the last 18 months i've been living totally seperately from my husband. went for months without even seeing him. i did talk to him each day. however i avoided seeing him, as his behavior was competely unacceptable to me. he was using and drinking excessively. my heart always wished he'd get h...	Sincerely	5	330	Apr 3, 2013 by hotrod
	lil binge drinking? no sympathy from "accidents" that happen from me (Preview) .. this wkend, I did a lot of "me" stuff (painting etc) My AH did a lot of yard work, no telling how much he drank but by every night he couldnt talk and would stumble in the house. I just did my thing, and he did his. Our son came home Sat evening, my mother in law dropped him off 3 hours early with m...	sweeetr	5	437	Apr 3, 2013 by sweeetr
	Once again I take the bait (Preview) I thought I was over letting my stbxah lure me into an arguement. I know what he's doing and I've been doing so good at not responding to his nonsense but tonight I let him bait me into the crazy ranting and raving that I know he wanted. I have not heard from him for 3 weeks. Despite having serious financial...	scaredandconfused	6	383	Apr 3, 2013 by NicoleDiver
	Will Al-Anon help me with this..... (Preview) Now that my alcoholic ex has moved out and completely disappeared, I have had some quiet time to just sit with myself. Its been pretty uncomfortable, actually. And every time I start thinking something positive about no longer having to deal with him around, I feel guilty. How do you deal with that?...	buffalo78	3	364	Apr 3, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	a little nervous (Preview) Tonight is the night I go to my AH 90 day celebration meeting. Don't know why I am a little nervous. I have never been to an AA meeting ever. My husband says he has to speak and wants me there. I will go. I am proud of him for controlling the disease for 90 days...he's longest stretch ever. Every day is a...	1976love	4	288	Apr 3, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	i'm just really hurt. (Preview) What is wrong with me? I am serious. I kicked the alcoholic boyfriend out a few days ago and today it really hit me. I am just really hurt by all this. I feel like I keep going through this over and over and over again. Kicking him out, obsessing and worrying he is going to die.... I really thought this...	buffalo78	4	452	Apr 3, 2013 by Sincerely
	I wish my Higher Power would hurry the hell up and help me end this relationship (Preview) I've been in Al-Anon for almost 6 months now - and it's been an absolute roller coaster. For the first time in my life I now have the ability to sit back and see this family disease cause chaos in my family of origin - and in my own life.Today I had a huge argument with my partner. I've been ummm-ing and ahhh-i...	CeeBee	9	441	Apr 3, 2013 by milkwood
	Do the resentments against the A's ever go away? (Preview) Today my son asked me to report his baseball home runs on a website, he couldn't figure out how to do it. I figured it out and reported them. I found myself feeling resentful again, I thought to myself, why can't my ex husband do this? Do the resentments ever go away?	mercedes1959	6	484	Apr 3, 2013 by Pushka
	struggling myself mentally and physically- AW angry again (Preview) I was feeling nauseated this past day and stayed in bed all day and slept. Feel better now but skipped counseling which sucks. AW wants me to take her to the store after 10 pm and since I don't have a car I would have to borrow my mothers car and she had already went to bed. AW throws tantrum because I refus...	dponlyme	3	399	Apr 3, 2013 by Aloha
	just another day in paradise... (Preview) I don't live in Hawaii or Heaven but I think where I live is paradise! Just saying that I would rather be here than anywhere else. I guess wherever you are if you are happy, you can find yourself exactly where you are supposed to be. I guess I am settled completely after over 18 years in the same place. I used...	Hoot Nanny	4	255	Apr 3, 2013 by Hopeful925
	Husband In Treatment - Roller Coaster Inside Me (Preview) Open my eyes and I see the progress. My heart softens. My nerves are a roller coaster! Yesterday I got a phone call from Husband. His insurance will not cover after 45 days on inpatient. I was upset, confused. It was a bump in the road. We have options. Today he and his counsler called me. We are worki...	Sincerely	7	313	Apr 3, 2013 by PP
	Helping or being a crutch (Preview) I am constantly struggling with finding my boundaries with my best friend, and ensuring that I am not sacrificing myself for him too much. He is a recovering alcoholic, and has been sober for over 6 months. I am so proud of him, and send him all the love in the world. Whenever he has a problem though, or a s...	LizLooking	6	640	Apr 3, 2013 by LizLooking
	Help with setting boundries and educating small children (Preview) I have posted in the past, but my wife has struggled with alchohol addiction for 6 years and we have 3 beautiful children aged 5 (twins) and 2. She has been to rehab and managed to stay sober for a year, and since then has had a couple of relapses (now only going a couple of days without drinking) to the poin...	ntxalanon	3	350	Apr 3, 2013 by Mattie
	My AA guy is doing better than I am (Preview) About a year ago, my boyfriend declared himself an addict. He actually had a problem with cocaine more than anything and after losing his job, decided to start going to NA meetings. He started going to AA meetings as well, since there were more AA meetings he could go to in our area and at certain times...	DoingThisForMyGuy	6	248	Apr 2, 2013 by MeTwo2
	New groups for us shy folks? (Preview) This wknd there was a big AA conference in my city, which my partner attended. He took me to hear an al-anon speaker yesterday morning, who was amazing. The person chairing that meeting was an al-anon member who is also the al-anon chair for the conference. My partner is on the conference planning comm...	rainlax	11	602	Apr 2, 2013 by hotrod
	fearing mortality? (Preview) My exA has been relatively quiet. This week he called, and started in on me...the first time he called, I was able to use my alanon tools...I posted about it... He has been very ill, so ill that my 10yo asked me "is Dad gonna die?" He has no health insurance (my fault for divorcing him, you see),...	rehprof	9	341	Apr 2, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Can't Stop Thinking (Preview) I separated from my husband of 19 years about 2 months ago. The separation was preceded by years of trying to work on our marriage, lots of marriage counseling, and my being so confused and frustrated by his always forgetting, his seeming checked out on so many levels, his lack of interest in doing any...	norasq	4	367	Apr 2, 2013 by norasq
	A week of the "I suck voices" (Preview) It is time for a face to face meeting...I missed my meeting last week and chose to do some volunteer work instead, so now I have the "I suck" voices popping up. A testimony as to how quickly I can fall back into old patterns. Since I know better, I cannot blame anyone else. I was even telli...	PP	12	913	Apr 2, 2013 by ilovedogs
	i'm going to make it (Preview) gezz, this morning at 6am 5pm seemed sooooo far away. almost too far away. well, i'm almost there, made it through my work day. even going to pick up some dinner for me and my bestfriend. she'll prolly make me go exercise (we walk 2 miles on an overpass). maybe tonight won't seem as dark as yesterday was...	Sincerely	4	243	Apr 2, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Keeping things in perspective.... (Preview) A woman leaves an Alanon meeting, punching her fist in the air: I'm free, I'm free! A little boy bowls up to her and fixes her gaze: That's nothing, ma'am, I'm four.	DavidG	4	232	Apr 2, 2013 by nmike
	I'm new & LOST. (Preview) Hi, I went to my first al-anon meeting two days ago and felt very welcomed. I plan on going again, but in between, I just need to share and get this out of my head. I hope I am in the right place and if not, please let me know... Anyways, for about 16 years, right after high school, I got together with a guy who...	buffalo78	4	391	Apr 2, 2013 by buffalo78
	the future's so bright(I gotta wear shades!) (Preview) Yeah for those who know this: this is definitely lyrics to a song! I am so grateful for the good days & promise of a bright future. I really have nothing to complain about today! I can wear my shades even when the sun isn't out: optimism! I hope that everyone who reads this will find hope & some insp...	Hoot Nanny	2	371	Apr 2, 2013 by hotrod
	A turning point for my AM? (Preview) Yesterday, my AM told me, whilst sober (at the moment) that she would like to get back into going to church with me. This is the first time she's ever said anything like this before...is this a sign from her HP, who she calls God to help her? has anyone else had this experience? I'm hopeful that this is a new...	phoenixmagicgirl	1	246	Apr 2, 2013 by pinkchip
	My husband is doing really good. wow! (Preview) So I freaked out about 3 weeks ago, He stopped pills and found him doing something else WAY worse. It was horrible. I almost left. I laid down some bounderies, and stuck by them and he has respected that. But we worked through it, I have been doing alanon online in evenings. We have talked a lot, air...	Rinn	5	288	Apr 2, 2013 by Rinn
	I am struggling mightily tonight, and could use some ESH (Preview) For those of you who don't know my story, in a nutshell, I work a regular 8-5 job, and my AH works second shift (3-11). He does the very large majority of his drinking at home after work, when I am asleep and it doesn't interfere directly with family time. My AH has had periods where he is very emotionally...	stephaniej	19	442	Apr 2, 2013 by Theoceancalls
	some good news about my daughter (Preview) my daughter is 20 she's been having a bit of a hard time recently as she broke up with her boyfriend and one of her university flatmates she is finding difficult to live with The upshot is that she's been spending more time at home and it's just what I needed We've had lots of lovely conversations and been...	Ms S	4	396	Apr 2, 2013 by hotrod
	A piece of my history... (Preview) I read a good number of post here tonight and even replied to a few of them. One really hit me hard. It was someone asking if anyone else had a alcoholic do a disappearing act on them, and how did they cope with it. It brought back so many different memories of my own life that before I even decided to reply...	John	9	401	Apr 2, 2013 by yanksfan51
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