|
|
Not in Denial ANYMORE...what next?
(Preview)
This is my first post to your message board and I will try to make this short! I have been with/married to my AH since 2006. We are truly blessed with 5 amazing children-my 3 and his 2, who I love and adore like they are my own. Being my 3rd marriage and his 2nd I was in it to win it w/ divorce not being an option. I...
|
chamoisdog
|
6
|
358
|
|
|
|
The role of Money in Serenity
(Preview)
Hi all- I love this board and I lurk a lot, but I don't seem to post unless I'm in crisis. And I'm in crisis now. But because of my active f2f Al-anon work, I am more peaceful and rational this time. I'd still like your input, however.
My AH drank again last night after 6 months of hard working sobriety. We ha...
|
crazycatlady
|
12
|
571
|
|
|
|
How Important is it?
(Preview)
I had a rough day yesterday, my fault really because I answered the phone to my ex A, just not really thinking! Anyway wont bother to relate the detail, but the usual whinging self pity and how if we could just get back together everything would be so great, how everybody abandons him etc, etc, ah and of c...
|
flinn66
|
10
|
720
|
|
|
|
detached on the outside...fuming on the inside
(Preview)
Lately I have been able to detach in peace but tonight my husband came home with a hickey on his chest. I was so hurt snd disgusted at the same time. I went to restroom to cry and talk things out with HP. I came out and ignored him.I budgeted to see if it was possible for me to move but everytime I did the numbers...
|
newgirl17
|
4
|
438
|
|
|
|
Tomorrow night first F2F
(Preview)
Tomorrow night I am going to my first F2F meeting. I am as excited as if I was going to my favorite music or play or anything magical and wonderful. I've been coming on and off to this board for many months, but now I am more serious. Help from one of you folks made me realize I need the live, human being he...
|
Lyne
|
5
|
170
|
|
|
|
What are the actual physical affects of having three glasses of wine a night for a 50 year old woman?
(Preview)
I am new to this forum and I love it! As a non-dinker and never-drinker, I would love to know what it actually feels like when a 50 year old woman wakes up after a quiet night but one with the consumption of three glasses of wine. I do not want to ask her but would love to know.
|
ToocaringNY
|
7
|
318
|
|
|
|
Have had a rough night tonight
(Preview)
My AM came home tonight and started drinking. Her and my dad got into it although I only heard the last of what he said to her which was that she is a zombie (in how she looks, acts etc) and he told me he has a wife who's an A and I have a mother of who's an A. She went to bed without a word. I tried to calm down my dad te...
|
phoenixmagicgirl
|
7
|
488
|
|
|
|
Daaang!!
(Preview)
My wife's first leg flight back to her family showed up 2 hours late so after I dropped her at the airport with fond wishes for a safe flight and happiness that she would be at the 1st birthday party for our youngest grand child, a girl, Olivia...I get a call that she called she had missed her flight. She...
|
Jerry F
|
8
|
278
|
|
|
|
Happiness within the drinkers group of friends vs. non drinkers. Who is truly happier?
(Preview)
I am in the non-drinker category. Never have been a drinker and I am a 46 year old female. My question is this: Why does it seem drinkers are so much happier than me? Is it true that they are or is just an illusion? There is more to this and I will share as a responses come in. Thank you.
|
ToocaringNY
|
15
|
768
|
|
|
|
Update in the visit with my son in rehab..
(Preview)
We got there right at 1 pm. I seen my son pulling up behind us in a white truck with a huge smile. I smiled back, his little sister ran up and hugged him and then he can up and hugged me and his step dad. He introduced us to others and their families. He said let's go to our church which is in the same area as where h...
|
Gaby
|
13
|
287
|
|
|
|
Needing space to breathe
(Preview)
So, currently I'm living with my parents, helping them with errands (they cannot drive and people drive a lot where I live), left my job to focus on my children's mental and physical health, my niece ....moved in with us (she is almost 8 months pregnant and husband works in the oil fields.....her firs...
|
RoseODAT
|
6
|
272
|
|
|
|
Daaang the second...
(Preview)
Just got off the email tool sending the airlines a request for repayment of $60.00 which are additional cost for rescheduling her trip. My wife is somewhat over the deep blue's of missing Olivia's first birthday celebration and is back at work until next Friday when we try this over again. She has d...
|
Jerry F
|
9
|
361
|
|
|
|
Flowers
(Preview)
These flowers bloom for just one day and when the evening comes, they close and drop. But for that one day I can enjoy the beauty.
|
Cathyinaz
|
13
|
563
|
|
|
|
not much to post--just gratitude!
(Preview)
Hi everyone! Attitude of gratitude today! I am so blessed! How bout you? Kathleen
|
Hoot Nanny
|
5
|
249
|
|
|
|
Overwhelmed
(Preview)
I wanted to vent so here I am again. I had been keeping a journal online but decided to delete it. Every time I re-read it, I got upset. My husband was let go from his job a month ago and is having a hard time finding another one. So what do you think happens - yep Heineken and Corona have moved back in. Some...
|
DebLisa55
|
8
|
273
|
|
|
|
made it to a meeting :)
(Preview)
I made it to my morning meeting :) my husband didn't come home last night. He got here at 6 in the morning. I didn't bother to greet him or ask him questions (he is going to lie about it anyway) I just turned over and fell asleep. At 7 I woke up and went for a morning walk then came home and made breakfast ate and w...
|
newgirl17
|
8
|
304
|
|
|
|
Enabling
(Preview)
My AH returned from a 30 day in treatment program 3 weeks ago. Since then he has not been drinking but continues to go to bars on an almost nightly basis and drink NA beers. Tonight he is at a bar with some of our friends and I decided not to go because I thought it is enabling and unsupportive of his sobriet...
|
peacewillcome
|
10
|
524
|
|
|
|
A Good Week
(Preview)
I feel like this week has been a turning point for me. Maybe I am really learning how to "let go and let God". I feel like I have some clarity about my role in this dysfunctional marriage, and I can see how much my actions and reactions have served to perpetuate this d**m merry go round of the dise...
|
ParisMemories
|
7
|
368
|
|
|
|
The Lake is Still Poisoned
(Preview)
My daughter is good at analogies. We were garage sale-ing the other day and as usual talking about anything and everything, usually at least some conversation turns towards the recent past with the ex-A. She said, its like having an open bottle of poison in a lake, you remove the bottle of poison (the A...
|
likemyheart
|
3
|
335
|
|
|
|
Age of Al-Anon members
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. This weekend I attended my local regional conference. Unfortunately due to finances, our area will not be having a conference next year :(. That's ok though. One day at a time. After speaking with a friend on the committee, this y...
|
slogan_jim
|
2
|
517
|
|
|
|
Lack of meetings set back
(Preview)
So back in my pissy pot . Just need to rant ,I'm frustrasted . My 30 day trial seperation from ah husband went sour to me he only gave me 2 full days of peace other wise he was here everyday to drop off Tupperware or check the mail and asked to sleep over so he will( baby sit) our children for me to get to a meeting...
|
Ms co-dependent
|
2
|
190
|
|
|
|
Positive steps
(Preview)
My AH of 32 years, who I am separated from for the last 6 months, is heaping loads of guilt on me for his situation. He lives in what he describes as a "crappy" apartment and feels an "outcast" because I filed for divorce and got a court order for him to move out. Our 19 year old daugh...
|
Clou
|
4
|
296
|
|
|
|
How to use the program in this situation? ES & H?
(Preview)
My husband Jim has an office and we got a new secretary about 2 months ago. Yesterday was the first time I have worked with her. I just answer phones and do very light work since I am more of the receptionist. So yesterday my husband was gone and she first commented on how beautiful and sweet I was, then she w...
|
hope4ever
|
11
|
534
|
|
|
|
Visiting my son in rehab for the first time.
(Preview)
So tomorrow myself my husband and my daughter will be visiting my son in rehab for the first time since he has been in may 9.13.. Please advise on what to say or not to say.. But let me tell you I still carry the hurt and anger and pain that was caused when he was home and its something that I'm working on to try t...
|
Gaby
|
9
|
1100
|
|
|
|
let the miracles keep coming!
(Preview)
I have a miracle to share--I am sorry for those of you who don't believe in miracles. Anyhow, I am sitting here today w/ a pair of new eyes & I believe that is a miracle! I had the RLE surgery June 4th & June 17th. I have nothing but good feelings about it. Yes, it was scary & yes, I did have some res...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
5
|
234
|
|
|
|
IOP - new opportunity
(Preview)
I have an offer to work part time and run sessions at an IOP (intensive out patient). I am leaning towards doing it because it will be a good career experience and I've been talking about wanting to break away from kids and more into adult substance abuse treatment for a long time. Been musing though cuz...
|
pinkchip
|
10
|
423
|
|
|
|
Expansion of Love...
(Preview)
Even After All This Time The Sun Never Says To The Earth " You Owe Me". Look What Happens With a Love Like That...It Lights Up the Whole Sky.!!! 14 century Sufi Hafiz
|
Bettina
|
6
|
290
|
|
|
|
feeling sad
(Preview)
It has been a rough few days. My husband just ignores me. I try to talk to him but he just ignores me He acts as if I'm not even in the room. He is the one who cheated for 2 yrs and I get the silent treatment. I feel so sad and alone. I kept busy by cleaning and washing all day but I feel so alone. I texted a few friends...
|
newgirl17
|
9
|
445
|
|
|
|
Angry ..
(Preview)
Tonight I'm very fed up with this whole disease of alcoholism and how it affects the whole family. Anyway, it's all overwhelming and I just needed to say that right now, this is where I'm at. Hugs P :)
|
Pushka
|
10
|
452
|
|
|
|
l don't know what to do...
(Preview)
The past few days my husband has ignored me. I have carried on with my own business. I have not texted him or called looking for him. Tonight at bedtime he said he needed to talk. He said that he felt we needed a break. That he was ignoring me so I could get used to being alone. He said that he loved me but that he...
|
newgirl17
|
11
|
557
|
|
|
|
TRUST
(Preview)
" If your HP shuts a door, stop banging on it. Trust that whatever is behind it , is not meant for you."
|
Bettina
|
10
|
797
|
|
|
|
glass half full?
(Preview)
I was supposed to go to a meeting tonight but my ride fell through but I am going to go to one in the morning. My husband has been loving yesterday and today but this afternoon he got his check and it was a very low check (he works on commission). My check wasn't that much either (i only worked 6hrs). He was ver...
|
newgirl17
|
3
|
325
|
|
|
|
Feeling sad today
(Preview)
Today is my 32nd wedding anniversary. My AH and I are separated since January and I have filed for divorce. The last 10 years have been a series of rehabs, periods of sobriety, and relapses. I finally woke up one day and realized that if I did not take the step to leave my husband, I could end up in ano...
|
Clou
|
10
|
547
|
|
|
|
Using my program. Serenity prayer was needed
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. In my spare time I play rec co-ed Ball Hockey and tonight we saw a prime example of a bully doing his thing. I wear glasses and can't wear contact lenses because I have a scar in my eye that doesn't allow it. During the game tonight...
|
slogan_jim
|
8
|
426
|
|
|
|
Lost and don't know what to do with my co-dependency
(Preview)
Hi all At the beginning of the week I talked about the movie " Life of Pi " and how I couldn't stop crying and really didn't know why. Now I have learned more about me. I'm still lost and crying once in a while but I think I know what is causing it. For 3 long years I have been caught up in my son's a...
|
Cathyinaz
|
21
|
848
|
|
|
|
Fear ;(
(Preview)
Today I met some one that opened up to me in just minutes and told me he is an active A and he left his program because he feels he can do this on his own.. I looked at him and said if you know you can then why so many relapses. He cried.. My heart went out to him. I couldn't say anything because at that moment I thou...
|
Gaby
|
4
|
334
|
|
|
|
Need an opinion- very angry at 21 year old in recovery
(Preview)
I am so mad right now and I am finding myself berating via text message my 21 year old son in recovery so I decided I needed to go to another place to vent my anger and get some feedback on the situation. My 21 year old is almost 16 months in recovery. We are so proud of the accomplishments he has made. Howev...
|
PattyS
|
12
|
333
|
|
|
|
child support hearing
(Preview)
Hi Everyone: It's been a few weeks since my AH has been staying in his apt; this past weekend our kids spent the night there so they could be there on Father's Day morning, and that seemed to go pretty well. The kids were excited to stay somewhere new (I think it felt sort of like a hotel adventure to them),...
|
yanksfan51
|
6
|
231
|
|
|
|
Dealing with Reality
(Preview)
I posted recently about going away for work, and being worried if AH would drink during my absence. So, the trip went well for me, but not surprisingly, he did what As do, and is back drinking. So today I tried to communicate my boundaries to him. I told him I needed to know if he was taking this recovery ser...
|
ParisMemories
|
13
|
858
|
|
|
|
Seeing wrong with others
(Preview)
Gods grace when we seek it always brings Truth. when I'm judging another person's defects, there are ALWAYS 2 things I don't understand. first, there is always one more fact about that person's life that if I knew it I would have nothing but compassion for them. This goes for my own sick father. God has c...
|
WorkingThroughIt
|
6
|
373
|
|
|
|
Changing what I can....
(Preview)
I try my best to only bear "good news" to people. I like to keep a positive upbeat attitude despite it all. Recently I had wrote about one of my best friends from high school which I lost touch with. We are both creative people and upon or reuniting we decided we wanted to create an independent f...
|
RoseODAT
|
2
|
301
|
|
|
|
Attended my first f2f meeting. my first counseling sessions and left my husband for the night (at least)
(Preview)
So, I had a busy day. I went to my first church service (a healing service) and had my first communion in over a decade. I went to my very first counseling session. I packed my suitcase and "left" my husband. And then headed to my first alanon meeting. I have been living in crazytown for so lon...
|
sadsusie
|
9
|
434
|
|
|
|
Made myself laugh
(Preview)
There was a ''domestic situation'' at daughter's house a couple days ago - new drunken BF went balistic, loaded a shotgun while ranting & raving. Daughter calls me, I tell her to lock herself in bathroom and call 911 -- she's drunk too!! She didn't want to call 911 so I did - was on two phones at onc...
|
Path to Serenity
|
11
|
430
|
|
|
|
Dealing with Sister
(Preview)
Hi, I am having a hard time having a relationship with my older sister. I've managed for the past few years by living thousands of miles away, but currently we're both living in our hometown and helping my father at his office. She has been sober for a few months and I find myself becoming increasingly r...
|
linnylou
|
3
|
589
|
|
|
|
The right way to act after a bender - remorse.
(Preview)
I'm fairly new to this but long story short, my girlfriend is an alchoholic. She goes on crazy benders (a lot more infrequently than she used to thank god) but nonetheless it happens. My question is what is the best way to deal with the hangover? When she finally comes out of it and is feeling like microwa...
|
nelson619
|
10
|
8224
|
|
|
|
Is there a link to the "slogans"?
(Preview)
I am so impressed with all the great slogans that I hear people use here on the board and in chat. Is there a link to a place where they are all listed (hopefully with explanations of what each means and how I can use it). I cannot tell everyone how much just repeating the 3 Cs (I didn't cause it, I can't cure i...
|
lgnutah
|
5
|
621
|
|
|
|
Abusive Personalities vs Alcoholism
(Preview)
Hi, I haven't been on here in a while. Last time I posted, I was going through the slow agony of grieving the loss of my marriage...at the time, we were still living under the same roof. AH was still drinking. He had been having an affair and I knew it, I was just in denial, sorting through my fee...
|
Minaret
|
3
|
545
|
|
|
|
Unmet expectations...
(Preview)
God will do for me what I cannot and often time will not do for myself. Dinner last evening was an expectation. Not a biggie...promises were made along with plans and though I wasn't looking forward to something I would have no control over unless it was me alone it turned out to be another exclamati...
|
Jerry F
|
6
|
346
|
|
|
|
Dinner tonight...
(Preview)
And my eldest son will be in attendance along with my program and without unnecessary mention our Higher Power. His house is out of order...a shambles...looking like an old cabin long forgotten in the deep woods; abandoned. He has lived the metaphor of a life forgotten, undone, trashed and I wil...
|
Jerry F
|
9
|
522
|
|
|
|
When there is nothing left to give.
(Preview)
My life (our life) has continued to be stressful. MY AH is continuing his path of personal destruction, and unfortunately I allowed myself to be consumed by the rubble. I have destroyed my laptop, my bedroom door, and my morale. I suppose all these years of feeling and being controlled makes me all the...
|
sadsusie
|
10
|
735
|
|
|
|
Disappointed about medical funding situation... but okay.
(Preview)
I said the Serenity Prayer a few times today and I'm okay. I was informed that I did not qualify for sliding scale medical assistance from a community clinic, to simply get a physical and some basic blood work done. I'm down to 121 lbs, from 142 just over a year ago. Do not have a clue as to why I'm losing t...
|
John
|
7
|
439
|
|
|
|
Good Day - Day 2
(Preview)
So today I continued keeping the focus on me. When I woke up this morning, no kidding, but there was a tune vrunning through my head
|
ParisMemories
|
5
|
217
|
|
|
|
Ups and downs and down some more
(Preview)
I've been off the boards for 3 months since we came home from Thailand with my son. He had a 3 week beer binge, in Phuket. No food. He wound up in the ICU He was a mess. I went there and brought him home. We went right to the local ER where they scanned and MRIed his head and found he was ok. He looked and spoke like...
|
laurab
|
3
|
510
|
|
|
|
My feeling change like the wind
(Preview)
Back in my Unsure mode. Ah sober 7 which I will stop referring to . ah . Has been out of my home for 30 days but not completely he would find a way to come back home for something . I had a long talk with him the other day positive ! I opened up and told him my inventory hmmmm was that a smart move on my half at the time...
|
Ms co-dependent
|
10
|
701
|
|
|
|
Am I enabling?
(Preview)
My girlfriend owns a bar and I am the head bartender at it too. Great job for an alchoholic I know! Sometimes she falls out with her business partner, goes on a bender and nearly closes the doors for good. We work predominantly all our shifts together and when a bender is finished and she is pissed off with...
|
nelson619
|
9
|
7906
|
|
|
|
Life of PI
(Preview)
I was asked to watch the movie " Life of Pi " and how I can relate to the Tiger. I watched it this morning and I'm having a hard time with it. Don't know why but I can't seem to quit crying....Why? Is it because I need to live with life on Life's terms, that I can't control and that I have to let go? I...
|
Cathyinaz
|
12
|
563
|
|
|
|
Good day
(Preview)
It was hard, but today I kept the focus on me. He is doing what he does, but I am determined to find good in this day.
|
ParisMemories
|
6
|
394
|
|
|
|
Psychologist needing Al Anon
(Preview)
I have gone to several beginners meetings and found be wonderful wonderful, but regular meetings are troubling to me. Hearing the individual experiences and the pain that accompanies feels like a extension of my work day. Although I get a great deal from the teachings, it is not enough to overcome th...
|
Harriet Zilber
|
18
|
808
|
|
|
|
A phone call...
(Preview)
I got a phone call from my son that is currently in rehab on Saturday and I was scared to talk to him because I felt I was going to have a complete break down after not been able to talk to him in 35 days. But he sounds great and after so long he also shared that he quit smoking. I believe in my heart he wants sobrie...
|
Gaby
|
13
|
519
|
|
|
|
Create Value with everything you do.!
(Preview)
Suggestions when your not feeling your best: Open your life by finding ways to help others Expand the activities in your life. Be a positive influence wherever you go. Don't be a whiner. Don't dwell in the past. Look for solutions. Pray to expand your life force. Be convinced that everything is for...
|
Bettina
|
5
|
277
|
|