Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

My relationship with my father saddens me. I am coming closer to really accepting it though, at least I think I am. Because it recreates itself with others in my own adult life, it had to be completely accepted. My father has done everything possible to see that I won't recover after going through the s...

swood31 · swood31

I've attended 3 Al-Anon meetings so far & I guess it just hasn't clicked yet. Everyone is so vague with their sharing. I haven't really heard any real scenarios & how we should handle them. I'm not sure how to NOT worry and be concerned for my husband when he could very well die. On the subject of d...

Venera · Venera

I hope I didn't overwhelemed this forum with all the questions, but here is one more. My frined is doing a baby shower for me this weekend, which is Very nice of her, but she has 3 small children and a husband that likes to drink. So while we will be in her house with the girls, she wants to send her husband wi...

tortuga · tortuga

and we are back in the abuse again. It's not that i didn't see it coming. I just hoped for a while there could be a different outcome, this time. a lesson repeats itself until it is learned and internalized, right! So I separated from A, he moved out, and i try to move on. 2 days ago we settle on a friendly fare...

JustMe2013 · JustMe2013

Hi there, this is going to be a long first post...Hang in there! AH is finally in AA (30 days sober on Monday!) I went to my first face to face alanon meeting last Tues, and am going to try another this Thurs. I have codependency issues from far before meeting my DH. I detached about 6 months ago from him...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

First got a text message of somebody with a really broken face. No nose, chin and two black eyes. That be my son. I then got the call......crying still getting sober and lost in his alcoholism. So sad and pitiful. Just got out of the hospital I asked about him going to the ranch and he proceeded to te...

John · John

Better Days Are Ahead! Before you go any further reading this, take a deep breath and release it. Do it twice. Then read below... I know from personal experience the sorrow your heart feels. I know that right now, you have more questions than answers. I know what it feels like to hold my breath throughou...

neshema2 · neshema2

"looking for love/happiness in all the wrong places"....that old song, "looking for love" it was the big song in Urban cowboy....I so related to it....I used to go to bars, singles places, anywhere to find love, and it evaded me...I didn't love me so I didn't attract love fro...

sadsusie · sadsusie

PREFACE: I left My AH because his drinking (and sporadic drug use, and poor decisions) had escalated to the point where he was putting me in danger as far at the people who were in my home...and I was putting my self in danger because I was at an emotional breaking point from the stress of his behavior as...

1976love · 1976love

Hello all, Sorry it's been a very long time sice I visited you. This disease is tricky, just when you think you are doing good...SMACK, HP brings you back to some more testing. My AH just can't have enough courage to let his old friend vodka leave his side. So, I am letting him live his tortured life and...

oldergal · oldergal

"When the pain of where you are, is greater than the fear of where you will be, you will move" I have read this before I think on this board and I do believe it gets down to the some real roots of life, I don't take credit for it, but I do think it is worth repeating and thinking about, especially wh...

oldergal · oldergal

Or are they just drinking and can't control their emotions? When they sober-up doesn't that change a lot of times? And are people really depressed or is that an over used word? What do you think? oldergal

Jerry F · Jerry F

This gal gets a sad phone call at work and after a time of crying goes into her bosses office and asks, "Can I have a grief day off next Wednesday"? Her boss replies, "Of course you can...is there something we can support you with". She takes a deep breath and replies, "Ever...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

My A/A daughter called to say she is out of food, everything. I told her I would bring my granddaughter to my house, she doesn't want to come. She said she will have food on the 7th of the month. She said she felt like she was having a neverous breakdown, I told her I would pick up B. and call her dad to come p...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Whether it is good or bad, I am taking life very seriously. I can't go anywhere or do anything w/o feeling the pain of my mom's illness. I am walking around confused & I am actually getting enough sleep although I wake up w/ stress. I can't go on like this & I hope to find serenity on this forum. I nee...

neshema2 · neshema2

I had no idea that it was my sovereign right to be happy....Only to please others...Meet their needs at the total denial of my own needs..My own happiness...Now through program, I have the right to be happy...To pursue happiness...To do what ever I need to do w/out harming another creature to find my h...

Venera · Venera

So my AH displayed his drinking problem infront of my mom last week (not going to work for 3 days and just drinking home and watching tv, driving to get more booze, etc, though not disturbing anybody, bringing food for lunch for all a few times, not putting tv loud, etc). My mom asked me a lot of questions a...

John · John

It's Sunday morning. The sun is peeking through the trees that surround my home, My dogs have all been outside and done their thing. Now I sit here with a cup of coffee and I kinda giggle at myself. Last night I got a call from my son. He, his girlfriend, another young lady friend of hers, and her mother...

neshema2 · neshema2

I had a hard time accepting being powerless...then I came , through program, to understood that I am powerless over OTHER people or places and things, but not helpless about can I take care of me anyway??? Sure I can.... Maybe this will help sort out the difference....

Tiff5484 · Tiff5484

I am new in Alanon, I started out doing one meeting a week. Which in my situation was not enough, so I found another meeting to go to and now I go to 3 meetings a week and plus I get on here now so I go to one everyday. I got involved in Alanon because I have a very unmanageable life and I do not have a relationship w...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Acceptance is really where I struggle. I tend to look at my AH and remember who he was, who we were, and I want that back as I'm sure he does, too. Yet, he's changed, he's started drinking, he's gotten a DUI, he lies now about stupid stuff, he wants me to just blow off unacceptable behavior. And, I have ch...

magazine · magazine

So I attended my first al anon meeting. I didn't know what to expect....the group was so wonderful and warm. One of the speakers read out her story (1 year member) and from her first line to the last it could have been my story. They encouraged me to keep coming back which I will. I felt empowered by the...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. sooo .. I'm dealing with court stuff and for the LIFE of me couldn't figure out why the STBAX's arrest wasn't listed on the county website .. it's amazing what is listed that is considered public record. Our little town lists more than most so it's informative. Yes, this is going to sound so unhea...

Pushka · Pushka

The kids and I had a great day. I worked around the house a LOT because it's a mess .. that's ok .. it didn't get here over night and it's going to take another full day of working to get it looking better. The house is a complete reflection of my brain at the moment .. kind of not pretty. I was even able to get...

neshema2 · neshema2

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I was going to go to a AA open meeting tonight but I was asked to go to a BBQ going away party so I said yes. I thought I just needed to get out and be with people that are smiling and having some fun. Had a nice time and I'm tired now and ready to relax and just watch some TV. Good night all......see you tomorro...

Jerry F · Jerry F

You must give it away. That lesson remains a large part of my serenity and my sobriety. This was a "higher education" sponsor - sponsee work event from thought to action and of course I attended all classes for fear of the consequences of if I didn't. Aloha MIP Family. My wife and I jus...

oldergal · oldergal

Daily renewal is a statement about how you wish your day, and ultimately your life, to unfold. It is your soul speaking to your heart, your heart translating to your mind, and your mind giving your body directions. It is ultimately an expression of self-love! -Bob Greene

qwerty49 · qwerty49

I'm really struggling to cope with my mums drinking. She keeps letting me down, dismissing me, ignoring me when i try to tell her i'm upset and I feel angry about it so much, and another part of me feels so much emotion and love. She's been drinking now for over 30 years, but used to eat healthy and now she st...

neshema2 · neshema2

I was on step 4, but in the light of latest events, I am BACK on the hardest step for me...STEP 3 on STEP 3..............I "made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power AS I UNDERSTAND IT...." I once told a newbie, this was my rendition of STEP 3......imagine ly...

FAITH1988 · FAITH1988

Hi Everyone, Yesterday my son graduated rehab all of his peers in the house (small facility-25addicts) each spoke to my son. First the counselors, all recovered addicts or alcoholics, who decided to make saving those like themselves a life goal. My son upon release was there 30 days. So no other male...

Gaby · Gaby

I just want to say that I will be praying for all of us that are and have lived in chaos caused by the ones that we love due to there choices of addictions.. We all need serenity, and our higher power to touch us so we know we will be ok. God bless you all and many prayers will be said in a very spiritual place that...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I been to every meeting this week. I'm working hard . My Sponser can't guide me anymore things have taken place on her side and can't work with me. I'm now on my own. My 9 month ah husband moved back I'm the house . He is better he wants to help me get better soon. Before he told me he was moving back in he stated h...

Phoenix7 · Phoenix7

So here we go again - he's drying out after a week-long binge of whiskey, aggressive, obnoxious, hateful behavior to others and the falling-down-drunk injuries to himself. It's a cycle that happens every few weeks or months, depending on circumstances. It seems to have been made worse after a few mo...

grateful2be · grateful2be

My daughter called me this evening. A co-worker of hers ran into my son putting in job apps. He is staying right now in another place where there is more supervision and less temptation. It's been a bumpy road for me this week. I've hit some ruts and I've missed some, too. I think he might have called...

FAITH1988 · FAITH1988

This is our final draft of the letter to our son in REHAB at his retreat next week. I want to thank all of you for the suggestions. This is the letter we are going with, I feel calmness with this letter. I will need to read it 200 times so I am able to deliver it to our son in public with my husband by my side withou...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I just don't know but I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. I won't do anything stupid like calling him because I just know that would start this mess all over again. I have to believe he will find his way and seek help. I fear him being on the streets but I also have to remember he did it not me...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I sure felt a lot standing & walking at the relay for life for cancer. I didn't actually participate in the relay but I felt like it was what I needed. My dad died of cancer. We celebrated his memory & I feel like I can let go of a little more of my grief. I can go through all of my problems or anxieties b...

neshema2 · neshema2

I thought of you when I saw this............feel better, nice lady....Life is out there waiting for you to shine your light in it

mallie · mallie

Have no idea where to begin -- so I am just going to write about the present moment. My boyfriend of nearly 8 years - we have lived together, he has lost jobs continuously for years - and I lost my job a few times NOT for drinking, because I do not drink, but for me, if was for unfortunate lay-offs from very go...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I love to get up early before the kids and have some alone time to spend with God, my three daily readers ~ Hope for Today, Courage to Change, and One Day at a Time and my coffee. I have my best days when I start out just like that and have my attitude of gratitude on first thing and then everything that comes...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Had a great day...got my work done and even volunteered some stuff to some other guys who work there...Good day; pleasant weather, work details done in rythym and with smiles. I like when life clicks like that makes it soooo easy to skip and play and laugh until.....get to the credit union and park m...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Got a new puppy and the girls are so happy about it. All my friends say are you crazy you live in an apartment and you are so busy, it's the last thing you need, blah, blah, blah. I laugh and say it won't affect you and I can handle it. I had to discuss it in length with my 15 year old and even my exAh, because the d...

Mrs t · Mrs t

Just wanted to share where I am under a different thread rather than the original "am desperate" post. Simply because .... I am no longer desperate so dad has turned a real corner health wise - up walking for the first time in over 10 days - no more paranoid chat about the doctors or nurses b...

neshema2 · neshema2

Bettina wisely said on her post ****"Grateful, how about we just don't attach ourselves to sufferingand decide to not suffer ? That's what I attain to do, but we can't avoid it all, we wouldnt be human, but we can lighten it. ****** Well, I try to broadcast on my facebook to help find homes for ...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I've spent most of the day reading, praying, meditating and on this board. I'm trying to mind my own business, my a/a daughter who I had such a melt down with last month when she didn't get her son's ssa check. Since then her 28 y.o. son is staying with her and she is supposely trying to get rid of her bf. H...

wings of a dove · wings of a dove

I'm so tired and everyday I think how much longer do I have to suffer? My AH is very abusive emotionally and he is drunk every single day. No one should have to live this way. I have some serious health issues and the stress of him is killing me. Oh how I want out but my income doesn't give me enough to even pay t...

ARod · ARod

I desperately need some advice. I feel like I am drowning in misery, everyday is a constant fight. Both of my parents were heroin addicts, my brother turned out to be a meth user and my 16 year old son is currently in recovery for alcohol. My son is doing really well and has taught me so much through his r...

Pushka · Pushka

I am laughing at myself really .. I had the opportunity to hear my sponsor speak for the first time at an open AA meeting last night and OMGosh .. I'm SOOOO glad I went!! I'm struggling with the face to face meetings at the moment, because of a person and me trying to learn how not to shut people out when I hur...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This is my issue for sure. Everytime I read about how abusive, arrogant, and jerky some of your qualifiers act, I get mad. I can preach detachment and all that, but I don't really walk in your shoes at this moment. When I walked away from my alcoholic ex, it was because I was also a drunk and I was rejecti...

neshema2 · neshema2

With all thats hit of late, I am not the only one having "trials" and so I don't feel the victim...Its just LIFE.....I find that if I reach out to others , when I am in pain, and I do "service" , I FEEL better...its like service makes my stuff less bad or released from me enough to find t...

neshema2 · neshema2

It has been a "Rough" return to program...I saw some old negative stuff try and sneak in a return....Since my return, I have had to battle w/some stubborn old patterns that came back....Then Got sick w/ a horrible attack of IBS....THEN yesterday, my friends and I who rescue horses togethe...

Bettina · Bettina

"It is senseless to blame others or your environment for your miseries. Change begins from the moment you muster the courage to act. When you change, the environment will change. The power for change is found nowhere but within our own life.". Ikeda -- Edited by Bettina on Friday 2nd of A...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I am really scared to even post this here. I have no idea what kind of response I will get. But because this has always been a safe place to share, I want to put this on the board.

For those who don't know I broke up with my Abf a month ago, and I really worked my program for 9 mo. prior to that-- so I could g...

tortuga · tortuga

This was the moment again where I had to reset my boundaries, and with that developed a scream of my needs. I'm afraid ego is raising its head here, first I go months without and then I shout out loud in a moment of explosion. my question to you: is this too much to ask? I'm a bit out of balance i guess, having d...

Bettina · Bettina

"Suffering only gets worse when we try to run from it, rather then face it."

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I attend meetings one time a week here and boy, tonight did I ever need it. My AH has been struggling lately, which sets off my triggers. I know better than to get into his business...but sometimes, it is SO hard to keep my mouth shut!!!! I have been working really hard at detaching from it... It's has been...

liliana223 · liliana223

Hi group, Thanks for listening. I am new to this site, and new to even knowing that my partner (O) is an alcoholic. He only admitted in 2 and half weeks ago when he went to his first AA meeing, the day after his last binge. I went with him to that meeting and several others thanks to the openminded group who h...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I truly think now I will be going through a new stage. I think I will not be in contact with my son because he has let go. He had quit talking to everyone in this life and mom is the last one. I will give him up forever if it means recovery but I will also have some sad feelings going forward. I'm going to have t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi All: Thank you for the kind responses to my post yesterday. I am so grateful to this site and all of you who share your ESH. I know I have made some progress but the conversations I have had w AH recently make me realize I am still not truly accepting that what I am saying, doing or not has no affect on him a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Rejection from Father (Preview) My relationship with my father saddens me. I am coming closer to really accepting it though, at least I think I am. Because it recreates itself with others in my own adult life, it had to be completely accepted. My father has done everything possible to see that I won't recover after going through the s...	WorkingThroughIt	12	635	Aug 7, 2013 by grateful2be
	Feeling Hopeless alcoholic husband (Preview) I've attended 3 Al-Anon meetings so far & I guess it just hasn't clicked yet. Everyone is so vague with their sharing. I haven't really heard any real scenarios & how we should handle them. I'm not sure how to NOT worry and be concerned for my husband when he could very well die. On the subject of d...	swood31	13	646	Aug 7, 2013 by orchidlover
	Still worring too much? (Preview) I hope I didn't overwhelemed this forum with all the questions, but here is one more. My frined is doing a baby shower for me this weekend, which is Very nice of her, but she has 3 small children and a husband that likes to drink. So while we will be in her house with the girls, she wants to send her husband wi...	Venera	8	625	Aug 7, 2013 by orchidlover
	letting the storm pass...and breathe. (Preview) and we are back in the abuse again. It's not that i didn't see it coming. I just hoped for a while there could be a different outcome, this time. a lesson repeats itself until it is learned and internalized, right! So I separated from A, he moved out, and i try to move on. 2 days ago we settle on a friendly fare...	tortuga	9	544	Aug 7, 2013 by orchidlover
	New to recovery - Not A daughter issues (Preview) Hi there, this is going to be a long first post...Hang in there! AH is finally in AA (30 days sober on Monday!) I went to my first face to face alanon meeting last Tues, and am going to try another this Thurs. I have codependency issues from far before meeting my DH. I detached about 6 months ago from him...	JustMe2013	23	623	Aug 6, 2013 by grateful2be
	Found out what happen to my son (Preview) First got a text message of somebody with a really broken face. No nose, chin and two black eyes. That be my son. I then got the call......crying still getting sober and lost in his alcoholism. So sad and pitiful. Just got out of the hospital I asked about him going to the ranch and he proceeded to te...	Cathyinaz	38	818	Aug 6, 2013 by John
	Better Days are ahead.... (Preview) Better Days Are Ahead! Before you go any further reading this, take a deep breath and release it. Do it twice. Then read below... I know from personal experience the sorrow your heart feels. I know that right now, you have more questions than answers. I know what it feels like to hold my breath throughou...	John	12	526	Aug 6, 2013 by neshema2
	how many decades did it take me to learn THIS??? (Preview) "looking for love/happiness in all the wrong places"....that old song, "looking for love" it was the big song in Urban cowboy....I so related to it....I used to go to bars, singles places, anywhere to find love, and it evaded me...I didn't love me so I didn't attract love fro...	neshema2	3	452	Aug 6, 2013 by Bettina
	how to know how I feel now that husband is in recovery (Preview) PREFACE: I left My AH because his drinking (and sporadic drug use, and poor decisions) had escalated to the point where he was putting me in danger as far at the people who were in my home...and I was putting my self in danger because I was at an emotional breaking point from the stress of his behavior as...	sadsusie	10	515	Aug 6, 2013 by neshema2
	Questioning my gut (Preview) Hello all, Sorry it's been a very long time sice I visited you. This disease is tricky, just when you think you are doing good...SMACK, HP brings you back to some more testing. My AH just can't have enough courage to let his old friend vodka leave his side. So, I am letting him live his tortured life and...	1976love	5	850	Aug 6, 2013 by Bettina
	CHANGE (Preview) "When the pain of where you are, is greater than the fear of where you will be, you will move" I have read this before I think on this board and I do believe it gets down to the some real roots of life, I don't take credit for it, but I do think it is worth repeating and thinking about, especially wh...	oldergal	7	400	Aug 6, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Are They Really Bi-Polar? (Preview) Or are they just drinking and can't control their emotions? When they sober-up doesn't that change a lot of times? And are people really depressed or is that an over used word? What do you think? oldergal	oldergal	11	514	Aug 6, 2013 by myjade84
	A J o k e...not real...A Joke (Preview) This gal gets a sad phone call at work and after a time of crying goes into her bosses office and asks, "Can I have a grief day off next Wednesday"? Her boss replies, "Of course you can...is there something we can support you with". She takes a deep breath and replies, "Ever...	Jerry F	4	419	Aug 6, 2013 by Phoenix7
	Need help!! (Preview) My A/A daughter called to say she is out of food, everything. I told her I would bring my granddaughter to my house, she doesn't want to come. She said she will have food on the 7th of the month. She said she felt like she was having a neverous breakdown, I told her I would pick up B. and call her dad to come p...	Highlyfavored	7	416	Aug 6, 2013 by grateful2be
	taking life seriously... (Preview) Whether it is good or bad, I am taking life very seriously. I can't go anywhere or do anything w/o feeling the pain of my mom's illness. I am walking around confused & I am actually getting enough sleep although I wake up w/ stress. I can't go on like this & I hope to find serenity on this forum. I nee...	Hoot Nanny	3	283	Aug 5, 2013 by slogan_jim
	For all of us CODA's (Preview) I had no idea that it was my sovereign right to be happy....Only to please others...Meet their needs at the total denial of my own needs..My own happiness...Now through program, I have the right to be happy...To pursue happiness...To do what ever I need to do w/out harming another creature to find my h...	neshema2	5	287	Aug 5, 2013 by neshema2
	Not sure how to respond here (Preview) So my AH displayed his drinking problem infront of my mom last week (not going to work for 3 days and just drinking home and watching tv, driving to get more booze, etc, though not disturbing anybody, bringing food for lunch for all a few times, not putting tv loud, etc). My mom asked me a lot of questions a...	Venera	13	507	Aug 5, 2013 by abbyal
	Good Morning Everyone! (Preview) It's Sunday morning. The sun is peeking through the trees that surround my home, My dogs have all been outside and done their thing. Now I sit here with a cup of coffee and I kinda giggle at myself. Last night I got a call from my son. He, his girlfriend, another young lady friend of hers, and her mother...	John	14	450	Aug 5, 2013 by PP
	understanding powerlessness and helplessness (Preview) I had a hard time accepting being powerless...then I came , through program, to understood that I am powerless over OTHER people or places and things, but not helpless about can I take care of me anyway??? Sure I can.... Maybe this will help sort out the difference....	neshema2	6	940	Aug 5, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Why I am in Alanon (Preview) I am new in Alanon, I started out doing one meeting a week. Which in my situation was not enough, so I found another meeting to go to and now I go to 3 meetings a week and plus I get on here now so I go to one everyday. I got involved in Alanon because I have a very unmanageable life and I do not have a relationship w...	Tiff5484	6	817	Aug 5, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Let's talk about acceptance (Preview) Acceptance is really where I struggle. I tend to look at my AH and remember who he was, who we were, and I want that back as I'm sure he does, too. Yet, he's changed, he's started drinking, he's gotten a DUI, he lies now about stupid stuff, he wants me to just blow off unacceptable behavior. And, I have ch...	ilovedogs	13	2095	Aug 5, 2013 by Breakingfree
	My first al anon meeting (Preview) So I attended my first al anon meeting. I didn't know what to expect....the group was so wonderful and warm. One of the speakers read out her story (1 year member) and from her first line to the last it could have been my story. They encouraged me to keep coming back which I will. I felt empowered by the...	magazine	9	378	Aug 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	Irony .. and the God of my understandings wicked sense of humor .. (Preview) Ok .. sooo .. I'm dealing with court stuff and for the LIFE of me couldn't figure out why the STBAX's arrest wasn't listed on the county website .. it's amazing what is listed that is considered public record. Our little town lists more than most so it's informative. Yes, this is going to sound so unhea...	Pushka	4	386	Aug 5, 2013 by Pushka
	Some stress relieved .. (Preview) The kids and I had a great day. I worked around the house a LOT because it's a mess .. that's ok .. it didn't get here over night and it's going to take another full day of working to get it looking better. The house is a complete reflection of my brain at the moment .. kind of not pretty. I was even able to get...	Pushka	5	434	Aug 5, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Just sayin.............. (Preview)	neshema2	2	267	Aug 5, 2013 by Jerry F
	No AA Meeting tonight (Preview) I was going to go to a AA open meeting tonight but I was asked to go to a BBQ going away party so I said yes. I thought I just needed to get out and be with people that are smiling and having some fun. Had a nice time and I'm tired now and ready to relax and just watch some TV. Good night all......see you tomorro...	Cathyinaz	5	328	Aug 5, 2013 by neshema2
	In order to keep it... (Preview) You must give it away. That lesson remains a large part of my serenity and my sobriety. This was a "higher education" sponsor - sponsee work event from thought to action and of course I attended all classes for fear of the consequences of if I didn't. Aloha MIP Family. My wife and I jus...	Jerry F	5	369	Aug 5, 2013 by neshema2
	Daily Renewal (Preview) Daily renewal is a statement about how you wish your day, and ultimately your life, to unfold. It is your soul speaking to your heart, your heart translating to your mind, and your mind giving your body directions. It is ultimately an expression of self-love! -Bob Greene	oldergal	4	295	Aug 4, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Struggling to cope, don't know what to do (Preview) I'm really struggling to cope with my mums drinking. She keeps letting me down, dismissing me, ignoring me when i try to tell her i'm upset and I feel angry about it so much, and another part of me feels so much emotion and love. She's been drinking now for over 30 years, but used to eat healthy and now she st...	qwerty49	14	459	Aug 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	good old step THREE...my scariest step (Preview) I was on step 4, but in the light of latest events, I am BACK on the hardest step for me...STEP 3 on STEP 3..............I "made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power AS I UNDERSTAND IT...." I once told a newbie, this was my rendition of STEP 3......imagine ly...	neshema2	6	727	Aug 4, 2013 by likemyheart
	Family Week at My Son's Rehab was Spiritual and absolutely draining but in a good way (Preview) Hi Everyone, Yesterday my son graduated rehab all of his peers in the house (small facility-25addicts) each spoke to my son. First the counselors, all recovered addicts or alcoholics, who decided to make saving those like themselves a life goal. My son upon release was there 30 days. So no other male...	FAITH1988	2	417	Aug 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	Going to church at my sons program ranch.. (Preview) I just want to say that I will be praying for all of us that are and have lived in chaos caused by the ones that we love due to there choices of addictions.. We all need serenity, and our higher power to touch us so we know we will be ok. God bless you all and many prayers will be said in a very spiritual place that...	Gaby	1	242	Aug 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	Some things should not been said (Preview) I been to every meeting this week. I'm working hard . My Sponser can't guide me anymore things have taken place on her side and can't work with me. I'm now on my own. My 9 month ah husband moved back I'm the house . He is better he wants to help me get better soon. Before he told me he was moving back in he stated h...	Ms co-dependent	12	470	Aug 4, 2013 by Tiff5484
	Spin Cycle (Preview) So here we go again - he's drying out after a week-long binge of whiskey, aggressive, obnoxious, hateful behavior to others and the falling-down-drunk injuries to himself. It's a cycle that happens every few weeks or months, depending on circumstances. It seems to have been made worse after a few mo...	Phoenix7	7	637	Aug 4, 2013 by peace2me
	My son - what a wonder (Preview) My daughter called me this evening. A co-worker of hers ran into my son putting in job apps. He is staying right now in another place where there is more supervision and less temptation. It's been a bumpy road for me this week. I've hit some ruts and I've missed some, too. I think he might have called...	grateful2be	19	480	Aug 4, 2013 by Gigi Gibson
	FINAL LETTER TO SON IN REHAB WRITTEN BY HUSBAND AND I - Thank you Grateful (Preview) This is our final draft of the letter to our son in REHAB at his retreat next week. I want to thank all of you for the suggestions. This is the letter we are going with, I feel calmness with this letter. I will need to read it 200 times so I am able to deliver it to our son in public with my husband by my side withou...	FAITH1988	12	6318	Aug 4, 2013 by Gigi Gibson
	Dealing with my Emotions (Preview) I just don't know but I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. I won't do anything stupid like calling him because I just know that would start this mess all over again. I have to believe he will find his way and seek help. I fear him being on the streets but I also have to remember he did it not me...	Cathyinaz	14	708	Aug 4, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	relay for life, celebrating & letting go! (Preview) I sure felt a lot standing & walking at the relay for life for cancer. I didn't actually participate in the relay but I felt like it was what I needed. My dad died of cancer. We celebrated his memory & I feel like I can let go of a little more of my grief. I can go through all of my problems or anxieties b...	Hoot Nanny	0	410	Aug 3, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	For Cathy (Preview) I thought of you when I saw this............feel better, nice lady....Life is out there waiting for you to shine your light in it	neshema2	3	272	Aug 4, 2013 by Two Step
	My very first time reaching out as a long-time girlfriend to an alcoholic (Preview) Have no idea where to begin -- so I am just going to write about the present moment. My boyfriend of nearly 8 years - we have lived together, he has lost jobs continuously for years - and I lost my job a few times NOT for drinking, because I do not drink, but for me, if was for unfortunate lay-offs from very go...	mallie	13	418	Aug 3, 2013 by grateful2be
	How do you start your day to set it up for a great day? (Preview) I love to get up early before the kids and have some alone time to spend with God, my three daily readers ~ Hope for Today, Courage to Change, and One Day at a Time and my coffee. I have my best days when I start out just like that and have my attitude of gratitude on first thing and then everything that comes...	Breakingfree	15	571	Aug 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	Progress not perfection.... (Preview) Had a great day...got my work done and even volunteered some stuff to some other guys who work there...Good day; pleasant weather, work details done in rythym and with smiles. I like when life clicks like that makes it soooo easy to skip and play and laugh until.....get to the credit union and park m...	Jerry F	6	432	Aug 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	A new addition to my family, picture of my baby puppy (Preview) Got a new puppy and the girls are so happy about it. All my friends say are you crazy you live in an apartment and you are so busy, it's the last thing you need, blah, blah, blah. I laugh and say it won't affect you and I can handle it. I had to discuss it in length with my 15 year old and even my exAh, because the d...	Breakingfree	13	450	Aug 4, 2013 by Mrs t
	Starting to appreciate and understand the wisdom of the HP (Preview) Just wanted to share where I am under a different thread rather than the original "am desperate" post. Simply because .... I am no longer desperate so dad has turned a real corner health wise - up walking for the first time in over 10 days - no more paranoid chat about the doctors or nurses b...	Mrs t	5	422	Aug 4, 2013 by Mrs t
	Detaching and taking the HIGH road (Preview) Bettina wisely said on her post **"Grateful, how about we just don't attach ourselves to sufferingand decide to not suffer ? That's what I attain to do, but we can't avoid it all, we wouldnt be human, but we can lighten it. **** Well, I try to broadcast on my facebook to help find homes for ...	neshema2	2	379	Aug 3, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Doing the best I can! (Preview) I've spent most of the day reading, praying, meditating and on this board. I'm trying to mind my own business, my a/a daughter who I had such a melt down with last month when she didn't get her son's ssa check. Since then her 28 y.o. son is staying with her and she is supposely trying to get rid of her bf. H...	Highlyfavored	7	393	Aug 3, 2013 by Highlyfavored
	So sick and tired (Preview) I'm so tired and everyday I think how much longer do I have to suffer? My AH is very abusive emotionally and he is drunk every single day. No one should have to live this way. I have some serious health issues and the stress of him is killing me. Oh how I want out but my income doesn't give me enough to even pay t...	wings of a dove	8	429	Aug 3, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	HELP (Preview) I desperately need some advice. I feel like I am drowning in misery, everyday is a constant fight. Both of my parents were heroin addicts, my brother turned out to be a meth user and my 16 year old son is currently in recovery for alcohol. My son is doing really well and has taught me so much through his r...	ARod	13	341	Aug 3, 2013 by Debilyn
	He LIED to me!? (Preview) I am laughing at myself really .. I had the opportunity to hear my sponsor speak for the first time at an open AA meeting last night and OMGosh .. I'm SOOOO glad I went!! I'm struggling with the face to face meetings at the moment, because of a person and me trying to learn how not to shut people out when I hur...	Pushka	8	541	Aug 3, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	I'm angry at your qualifiers (Preview) This is my issue for sure. Everytime I read about how abusive, arrogant, and jerky some of your qualifiers act, I get mad. I can preach detachment and all that, but I don't really walk in your shoes at this moment. When I walked away from my alcoholic ex, it was because I was also a drunk and I was rejecti...	pinkchip	17	799	Aug 3, 2013 by In The Forest
	What am I thankful for??? (Preview) With all thats hit of late, I am not the only one having "trials" and so I don't feel the victim...Its just LIFE.....I find that if I reach out to others , when I am in pain, and I do "service" , I FEEL better...its like service makes my stuff less bad or released from me enough to find t...	neshema2	1	373	Aug 3, 2013 by Breakingfree
	What did I do to take care of me today???? (Preview) It has been a "Rough" return to program...I saw some old negative stuff try and sneak in a return....Since my return, I have had to battle w/some stubborn old patterns that came back....Then Got sick w/ a horrible attack of IBS....THEN yesterday, my friends and I who rescue horses togethe...	neshema2	1	382	Aug 3, 2013 by Breakingfree
	PERSPECTIVE! (Preview) "It is senseless to blame others or your environment for your miseries. Change begins from the moment you muster the courage to act. When you change, the environment will change. The power for change is found nowhere but within our own life.". Ikeda -- Edited by Bettina on Friday 2nd of A...	Bettina	9	397	Aug 3, 2013 by Jerry F
	went to an AA meeting (Preview) I am really scared to even post this here. I have no idea what kind of response I will get. But because this has always been a safe place to share, I want to put this on the board. For those who don't know I broke up with my Abf a month ago, and I really worked my program for 9 mo. prior to that-- so I could g...	giraffe13	8	384	Aug 3, 2013 by giraffe13
	needs: is this just too much to ask?? (Preview) This was the moment again where I had to reset my boundaries, and with that developed a scream of my needs. I'm afraid ego is raising its head here, first I go months without and then I shout out loud in a moment of explosion. my question to you: is this too much to ask? I'm a bit out of balance i guess, having d...	tortuga	6	424	Aug 3, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Don't run from it (Preview) "Suffering only gets worse when we try to run from it, rather then face it."	Bettina	10	439	Aug 2, 2013 by Bettina
	Just attended a great alanon meeting....Just what I needed! (Preview) I attend meetings one time a week here and boy, tonight did I ever need it. My AH has been struggling lately, which sets off my triggers. I know better than to get into his business...but sometimes, it is SO hard to keep my mouth shut!!!! I have been working really hard at detaching from it... It's has been...	Sweet Stanley	4	265	Aug 2, 2013 by maryjane
	New here... Should I write an Impact Letter? (Preview) Hi group, Thanks for listening. I am new to this site, and new to even knowing that my partner (O) is an alcoholic. He only admitted in 2 and half weeks ago when he went to his first AA meeing, the day after his last binge. I went with him to that meeting and several others thanks to the openminded group who h...	liliana223	10	891	Aug 2, 2013 by liliana223
	New stage in my recovery (Preview) I truly think now I will be going through a new stage. I think I will not be in contact with my son because he has let go. He had quit talking to everyone in this life and mom is the last one. I will give him up forever if it means recovery but I will also have some sad feelings going forward. I'm going to have t...	Cathyinaz	11	584	Aug 2, 2013 by Pushka
	thank you friends (Preview) Hi All: Thank you for the kind responses to my post yesterday. I am so grateful to this site and all of you who share your ESH. I know I have made some progress but the conversations I have had w AH recently make me realize I am still not truly accepting that what I am saying, doing or not has no affect on him a...	yanksfan51	6	340	Aug 2, 2013 by oldergal
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.