Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tiff5484 · Tiff5484

For starters I would like to say that I have been in alanon for 5 months not 2. I have been going to three meetings a week and the rest of my week is on here. I love getting on here and reading posts and finding new websites on alanon. I have done a lot of reading on this. I am praying more and talking to the lord mo...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well, as I've shared, I've been keeping pretty cool, calm and collected for a while now. Detatched and even at times amused by my AB's relentless logic-twisting, blame and sometimes out and out harassment. I posted the other day about something ridiculous he had said- and in one of the replies Betti...

sad_dog_mommy · sad_dog_mommy

I have sort of been a lurker on this message board. I have attended 4 Al-Anon meetings; read the pamphlets, bought 'courage to change' and I have started journaling again but I am too new to this way of thinking to be strong enough to deal with this on my own. I am too ashamed to tell my friends and family...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.I have an issue that I feel may be rooted in my fathers alcoholism. Growing up in an alcoholic home I was very ashamed. I was very embarrassed by my family, my upbringing and my father. This affected many areas of my social life inclu...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/05/10/your-neighbor-is-an-alcoholic/#.UhV08ZLVCO8

sweeetr · sweeetr

I went back and looked at all my old "start topics" yesterday. Most depressing to say the least... well at first it was. Then I realized. As i remember my emotional state behind my every post. from being a "first timer" to the middle to now. I realize that I am better, Though my AH b...

DavidG · DavidG

I am getting more confidence- legs, but not wings, in Alanon. Working out what we can talk about, and what we should not. This came from my family, of course. And in Alanon I am slowly learning a new healthy set of boundaries, with a whole bunch of other learners. Rick B. the CEO of Alanon Inc. is coming...

LeeMarie · LeeMarie

So, I finally got up the courage to stand up to my AH and ask him to leave; he wouldn't and I had to go to court to have him vacate the property legally. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I'll never forget the look on his face. I know I had to do it for me, my kids and my AH. I did try to detach first (we'v...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

The latest is that I have been talking on the phone w/ my mom while she is in the hospital. It is very difficult as I knew it would be. I have an interesting instinct when it comes to her. I know that waiting awhile last Monday was the best good idea I had. I needed to re-group & take care of me today. My days...

brendastarr · brendastarr

Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and have been talking a lot about marriage recently. Although I am very excited about our future together, I'm very concerned about his mother, her addictions, and her affect on our relationship. She drank throughout my boyfriend's first 20 years of life...

gingerfizz · gingerfizz

I am inexplicably feeling complete and utter joy and gratitude today, and expectations of good things to come in my life. Appreciating the sunshine, my job, my dogs, my life, my career. It is an amazing gift from Al-Anon. Yes, I am still with my dry AH. He is seeing the change in me. HE is coming to ME...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, I shared on top table at the shared meeting at the weekend with my partner present. I am normally quite confident when I share in Al anon but I think because he was there it was different. I shared how alcoholism had impoacted my life and got emotional at one point. then went on to how al anon is he...

Tasha · Tasha

I had a good chat with a member here on the board. What I came to realize is that even though I've been reading and now posting here for a while - I've never introduced myself. So Hi - I'm Natasha - I'm an alcoholic, adult child of an alcoholic, alanoner, and CODA 12 step worker. But here I will try to be ju...

oldergal · oldergal

I thought about it and I am sure I love my children unconditionally. Although I find it hard to love anyone else unconditionally....even my family sometimes... I am not sure if there is a universal understanding of this type of love.....what do you think. "Unconditional" sounds pretty s...

John · John

daisy31 · daisy31

Am I the only one who is looking forward to their kids going back to school? I have been trying to work my program this summer but it has been SO hard to gain peace with having 2 boys at home all the time. One of my sons is special needs and demands attention all the time and I constantly have to keep an eye on hi...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...just got in from business part of which was (secretly) nurturing the child still within. There's not much child there because of the program and so I used a proxy and didn't tell him. There was this little guy in my garden this morning by himself, nice and quiet and still being a par...

John · John

Boy meets girl on AA campus is a analogy in the AA Big Book, which points out that rarely does early recovery love relationships work out... here is why, I call it my version of Step 13. Boy; "She looked at me from across the hallway before the meetings started, I think she wants my body!" Friend; "have you...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.I am in a point in my life where I need to practice much awareness of my thoughts and behaviours, because I feel that both are related.Since my fathers second dui, I have been carrying around a lot of anger, resentment and bitteness...

sweeetr · sweeetr

...... I tend to have to laugh at my life at times ..almost thinking I am my HP's comedy show, or sitcom having said that first, I heard a song called "I dont like 1/2 the folks I love" when I heard that song...the lyrics are so true in my life ..I wrote a few just becasue i connect with them and want...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I feel it in my soul... I do good (real good) with me .. then lately ??? I feel the old "junk" about why?? and trying to understand why his choices are what they are .. I know his choices are his.. I know to worry about my own business... I KNOW all this .. I try not to think our family is second t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I hope this makes sense. I am dealing w/ a lot of anxiety & confusion right now. I have been to see my mom. I saw her on Sat. She seems better but is still way out there. I am very nervous about her condition. I have to keep living one day at a time today. I want to project on to the future as I am nervous again a...

Jenn86 · Jenn86

I am planning on leaving my ABF and moving far away by the end of the year. Right now we are living in Mexico but because I have to move back to the US and become financially independent I have to save up some money. I've tried to break up with him twice before and somehow I just get sucked in. I'm tired of de...

blondie99 · blondie99

Hello dear MIP brothers and sisters...it's been so long since I've had a chance to visit or write. I've missed you. XAH and I have not had any communication since the beginning of July, when we were working out some of the details of the divorce decree. I am relieved that the only thing left is to take the q...

tortuga · tortuga

the fear that things will never change. even though I'm aware of many of my mistakes and faults, and even though I've worked through the steps again and again, and even though I have had good days full of hope lately, I'm back at point 0, and sometimes deeper. I feel exhausted again, trying to keep mysel...

neshema2 · neshema2

one topic my AA partner and I discussed is BALANCE...... today I wrote down...a "typical" day for me and lately, writing down how long I am taking to do such and such I then made a list, negotiable , of course if something special arises, but a basic list of *reasonable* time I need to spend on...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi All I'm back to work and I DON"T want to be here. After 5 days off and I want to retire...hehe I wish! I cleaned my house, did some yard work, started to put up my new lighting outside, went gambling, had my toes and nails done, went shopping and was lazy. Was able to spend some quality time with...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I have not been on here in awhile. I posted last that I had broken up with my boyfriend a month ago, and only saw him 2x for aa meetings to accompany him. Two weeks ago he got black out drunk at a girl's apartment we have had major trust issues with in the past, and he actually scared her in his blackout and then...

ClearTheFog · ClearTheFog

I'd like to know what you ladies & gents think about my being here, and my situation. I feel like a fraud (again, like I did 15 years ago with my first try at Al-Anon). I absolutely love this board. It has been a life- and sanity-saver for me. I learned codependent behavior from my Mother in my childhoo...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey everyone, I mentioned the other day that my dad got his second dui and I was in a place of fear and loneliness. I saw my dad today and he was in a good place. So was I. He seems to be taking responsibility for his actions. He apologized to me and my sister and re-iterated he is going to sell his car and start t...

PP · PP

I am finishing an online course titled "Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps" and wanted to share this quote: "With these twelve important breathing lessons, you now know for yourself that you can breathe, and even under water. Because the breath of God( or yo...

Jack3126 · Jack3126

I read with interest the account of "James" family being destroyed through AA's infliction into his wife's life. I have had the exact experience. I am happy beyond description that my wife quit drinking. She certainly would have met with a disastrous ending However, she has become a com...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just want to say even though it sounds like I might be off my rocker at times, I do speak to my sponsor & Al anon friends almost daily either by text, email or phone. I have been reading Al anon literature daily & some times it even makes sense to me. I am just working on getting some sanity back. FYI...

cms1122 · cms1122

Hello all...this is my first time posting here..I'm somewhat familiar with forums but this particular one is brand new for me. Al-Anon is not new to me (my ODAT book is dated 1972...haha)....but the season of my life that I find myself in requires a BIG return to Al-Anon principals...lol So, I have re...

neshema2 · neshema2

I saw this today and it actually brought up some compassion from me to ME...Yea..I actually said to myself "ok, we didn't know it then... The cruel assessments of me I bought, but no more...I will work my inventory, thank you" I felt a sense of sadness that I didn't see it for all those decade...

neshema2 · neshema2

I said on my post that I was gonna wait to get back in harness (read, and post) , but I saw sooo many "need to read/respond to" posts that I could not resist.. First, I would like to say Welcome to the new comers...U came to the right place... Recovery can be hard..Sad...But nothing worthwhile...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hello, everyone. Just wanted to let you all know that I will not be around much. I'll probably come on and check for private messages every so often, though. I have come to realize that I'm not growing. I'm obviously not working my program very well. I'm stuck and I'm choosing to stay there because...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I called my son tonight at our usual time. Haven't talked with him since a few days after his surgery. He was pleasant and watching a pre-season football game. He didn't want to talk with me long. He was happy watching his game. I loved it. I did what I wanted to do. Check in with him. He did what he w...

Stevens · Stevens

Hello. My name is Stephanie, and my husband is an alcoholic.... thought I would use the old stand by intro! My attempt at levity. We have been married four years. I always knew he drank a lot. I should, of course, have seen the signs. But I ignored them, and my inner voice. He is trying to stay sober now...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hey all just stopping in to update Had a REAL good work w/AA friend/coo-sponsor on my step 4.....I had to go on R&R to do this and feel the pain of yet more Crap to clean up on me....I discovered that (no surprise) that I am still fear based..especially my needs being met and my AA friend and I went over...

debhud · debhud

Hi all, I am having trouble with my relationship with my parents who are enablers to my AS. They choose to pay all of his bills and watch his son because he is too hung over to watch him. He is addicted to alcohol and they are addicted to him. I on the other hand try to stay on course with my alanon principl...

Bettina · Bettina

"Time is constantly passing, one moment following fast upon the other. That's why its so important to press forward boldly,without complaining or fretting. The person who looks to the future and keeps moving ahead is eternally youthful. Such a person's heart is filled with flowers and shin...

Pushka · Pushka

Boy am I a slow learner and a fast forgetter! I have had a couple of humbling lessons in the God of my understanding giving me what I need vs what I want .. that's ok. I'm having a clearer picture that the Pushka plan isn't what it needs to be .. I don't necessarily like it .. I do have to come to accept it's n...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, I am sharing my story tomorrow in the afternoon of the convention with AA and al anon present. It will be the first time my partner (sober ABF) has heard my story. The theme is hope and sobriety, today we have sobriety in our home life is not perfect but so much better. It is thanks to both fellowsh...

Bettina · Bettina

"True Ease and comfort are not found in a quiet,uneventful life. This may sound paradoxical, but hardships bring about ease and comfort. For only by establising strong individual lives capable of boldly challenging difficult obstacles can we find true Peace and security in this lifetime....

wings of a dove · wings of a dove

I can't take anymore. Do I have to take abuse? What do you do when you work and make too much for help, yet not enough to even pay house and ulities. I have serious health issues too. I'm 3 years from retirement and I have to keep my health insurance? I have faith in God but I have to be realistic too.

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

It seems the better I get at detaching from my A/A's (daughter and her son), I feel spiritually disconnected from them, I know I still love them, but I mostly feel sadness/fear when I think of them, sad because of their bad choices/circumstances they are in and fear they will try to con/manipulate me in...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

This evening- as my AB was getting himself good and drunk in celebration of it being Friday, he mentioned to me that a house we had previously looked at was up for rent again, and that he would like to take another look at it. Then he grew serious and said "I have a concern though. The house has a lot of s...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi all-My life got so hectic and busy and I have felt pressure from work, 90 yr old mom, son and spouse issues, etc., etc., etc. However, I have missed the board and hopefully can get back to checking in as I used to. Each day I couldn't get here I wondered howall wondered how everyone was doing and I wanted t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I was at my physical therapy session and had the early good fortune of almost being one on one with my therapist which was cool. She is a young doctor and good at what she does and I was expressing honest gratitude. Over a bit of time others started to come into the place and I went from massage table to e...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I read a story recently- supposedly an AA story so I apologise if you guys have heard it before- but it was the most sensible and compelling reason to throw myself into recovery that I had ever heard. It sparked a change in me. I'll have to paraphrase but hopefully I'll convey the meaning. A woman is lost...

DavidG · DavidG

I was at an AA open meeting a month or two ago. After the meeting I was talking to a younger member. She said that when she got a few things sorted out in AA she would like to come along to Alanon. I turned to her, and smiled. I said, as far as I was concerned, if you are sober on the day, you are welcome. It is mayb...

rehprof · rehprof

the exA is at a family cottage on a lake for a week. the 11 yo and 16 yo boys are with him. One of the 11 yo's friends couldn't come with him bc his mom is not comfortable with the exA. When my son left at the beginning of the week, it was okay bc another friend would be able to come visit on thurs. I don't know wha...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am learning to face reality head on especially now that my mom is in the hospital & I am powerless over what happens to her from here. My hands are tied. My husband is her contact person not me. She chose him over me which I am finally getting over after less than a week. I am still at this point not talki...

neshema2 · neshema2

My issues, right now, are not alanon related....Its this financial fear, inability to find more income, depression and fighting off this financial fear.... Sadness and grief and yea, anger how my life could be taken from me and I kick myself for not knowing about alanon, coda till so late in my life...

John · John

Melly1248 · Melly1248

<- love this one, it's just perfect for today. What a night/morning. 'Scuse me posting a bit but it's really helping me stay focused to speak this stuff "out loud" and make myself face it. It's all much less confusing and stressful when I share it here because there's a clear path that I ne...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

So, first f2f meeting tomorrow at 1pm. I live in an extremely small town. There's one daytime and one night-time meeting per week. What if the people there don't like me? What if there is someone there from my daughter's school? One of the other parents? A teacher? What if someone sees me go in? The dog wo...

SunnySkies · SunnySkies

One of the meetings I attend is in the middle of a discussion about how we should deal with a mentally ill person who sometimes talks to herself during a meeting and when she shares she rants about strange things that have happened to her. Any suggestions on how we can solve this problem in a manner consi...

big dave · big dave

First timer on this forum. I am struggling with going down the same road again. Mom is reporting how good she is doing and asking for "another chance" but the last time I vowed not to deal with this ever again.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	a better understanding (Preview) For starters I would like to say that I have been in alanon for 5 months not 2. I have been going to three meetings a week and the rest of my week is on here. I love getting on here and reading posts and finding new websites on alanon. I have done a lot of reading on this. I am praying more and talking to the lord mo...	Tiff5484	9	542	Aug 22, 2013 by PP
	Sneaky catharsis? (Preview) Well, as I've shared, I've been keeping pretty cool, calm and collected for a while now. Detatched and even at times amused by my AB's relentless logic-twisting, blame and sometimes out and out harassment. I posted the other day about something ridiculous he had said- and in one of the replies Betti...	Melly1248	21	560	Aug 22, 2013 by grateful2be
	I dont want to go home. (Preview) I have sort of been a lurker on this message board. I have attended 4 Al-Anon meetings; read the pamphlets, bought 'courage to change' and I have started journaling again but I am too new to this way of thinking to be strong enough to deal with this on my own. I am too ashamed to tell my friends and family...	sad_dog_mommy	6	457	Aug 22, 2013 by sadsusie
	Talking to the opposite sex (Preview) Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.I have an issue that I feel may be rooted in my fathers alcoholism. Growing up in an alcoholic home I was very ashamed. I was very embarrassed by my family, my upbringing and my father. This affected many areas of my social life inclu...	slogan_jim	18	552	Aug 21, 2013 by grateful2be
	Article I read (link) (Preview) http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/05/10/your-neighbor-is-an-alcoholic/#.UhV08ZLVCO8	slogan_jim	6	336	Aug 22, 2013 by neshema2
	long timer here (Preview) I went back and looked at all my old "start topics" yesterday. Most depressing to say the least... well at first it was. Then I realized. As i remember my emotional state behind my every post. from being a "first timer" to the middle to now. I realize that I am better, Though my AH b...	sweeetr	5	210	Aug 22, 2013 by Jerry F
	Alanon CEO coming down under... (Preview) I am getting more confidence- legs, but not wings, in Alanon. Working out what we can talk about, and what we should not. This came from my family, of course. And in Alanon I am slowly learning a new healthy set of boundaries, with a whole bunch of other learners. Rick B. the CEO of Alanon Inc. is coming...	DavidG	6	377	Aug 22, 2013 by DavidG
	Missing AH (Preview) So, I finally got up the courage to stand up to my AH and ask him to leave; he wouldn't and I had to go to court to have him vacate the property legally. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I'll never forget the look on his face. I know I had to do it for me, my kids and my AH. I did try to detach first (we'v...	LeeMarie	9	502	Aug 21, 2013 by Mattie
	talking on the phone w/ MOM (Preview) The latest is that I have been talking on the phone w/ my mom while she is in the hospital. It is very difficult as I knew it would be. I have an interesting instinct when it comes to her. I know that waiting awhile last Monday was the best good idea I had. I needed to re-group & take care of me today. My days...	Hoot Nanny	2	209	Aug 21, 2013 by grateful2be
	Future MIL is an addict (Preview) Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and have been talking a lot about marriage recently. Although I am very excited about our future together, I'm very concerned about his mother, her addictions, and her affect on our relationship. She drank throughout my boyfriend's first 20 years of life...	brendastarr	4	416	Aug 21, 2013 by grateful2be
	Joy (Preview) I am inexplicably feeling complete and utter joy and gratitude today, and expectations of good things to come in my life. Appreciating the sunshine, my job, my dogs, my life, my career. It is an amazing gift from Al-Anon. Yes, I am still with my dry AH. He is seeing the change in me. HE is coming to ME...	gingerfizz	6	900	Aug 21, 2013 by gingerfizz
	post convention (Preview) Hi All, I shared on top table at the shared meeting at the weekend with my partner present. I am normally quite confident when I share in Al anon but I think because he was there it was different. I shared how alcoholism had impoacted my life and got emotional at one point. then went on to how al anon is he...	Tracy	6	363	Aug 21, 2013 by Jerry F
	Acceptance is the answer to all my problems (Preview) I had a good chat with a member here on the board. What I came to realize is that even though I've been reading and now posting here for a while - I've never introduced myself. So Hi - I'm Natasha - I'm an alcoholic, adult child of an alcoholic, alanoner, and CODA 12 step worker. But here I will try to be ju...	Tasha	13	1343	Aug 20, 2013 by DavidG
	UNCONDITIONAL LOVE (Preview) I thought about it and I am sure I love my children unconditionally. Although I find it hard to love anyone else unconditionally....even my family sometimes... I am not sure if there is a universal understanding of this type of love.....what do you think. "Unconditional" sounds pretty s...	oldergal	14	472	Aug 20, 2013 by PP
	Talk to myself? (Preview)	John	9	413	Aug 20, 2013 by Winny
	Counting down days till school starts...this momma needs some relaxation (Preview) Am I the only one who is looking forward to their kids going back to school? I have been trying to work my program this summer but it has been SO hard to gain peace with having 2 boys at home all the time. One of my sons is special needs and demands attention all the time and I constantly have to keep an eye on hi...	daisy31	5	326	Aug 20, 2013 by grateful2be
	Boy meets Boy... (Preview) Aloha Family...just got in from business part of which was (secretly) nurturing the child still within. There's not much child there because of the program and so I used a proxy and didn't tell him. There was this little guy in my garden this morning by himself, nice and quiet and still being a par...	Jerry F	7	435	Aug 20, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	boy meets girl... (Preview) Boy meets girl on AA campus is a analogy in the AA Big Book, which points out that rarely does early recovery love relationships work out... here is why, I call it my version of Step 13. Boy; "She looked at me from across the hallway before the meetings started, I think she wants my body!" Friend; "have you...	John	8	328	Aug 20, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	Need to practice awareness right now. (Preview) Hi Everyone,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.I am in a point in my life where I need to practice much awareness of my thoughts and behaviours, because I feel that both are related.Since my fathers second dui, I have been carrying around a lot of anger, resentment and bitteness...	slogan_jim	12	425	Aug 20, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	This is just in fun, if i offend anyone I am truly sorry (Preview) ...... I tend to have to laugh at my life at times ..almost thinking I am my HP's comedy show, or sitcom having said that first, I heard a song called "I dont like 1/2 the folks I love" when I heard that song...the lyrics are so true in my life ..I wrote a few just becasue i connect with them and want...	sweeetr	5	504	Aug 20, 2013 by Aloha
	myself ..slipping (Preview) I feel it in my soul... I do good (real good) with me .. then lately ??? I feel the old "junk" about why?? and trying to understand why his choices are what they are .. I know his choices are his.. I know to worry about my own business... I KNOW all this .. I try not to think our family is second t...	sweeetr	6	298	Aug 20, 2013 by Breakingfree
	where do I begin? need some support. (Preview) I hope this makes sense. I am dealing w/ a lot of anxiety & confusion right now. I have been to see my mom. I saw her on Sat. She seems better but is still way out there. I am very nervous about her condition. I have to keep living one day at a time today. I want to project on to the future as I am nervous again a...	Hoot Nanny	6	433	Aug 20, 2013 by bud
	Looking for Support (Preview) I am planning on leaving my ABF and moving far away by the end of the year. Right now we are living in Mexico but because I have to move back to the US and become financially independent I have to save up some money. I've tried to break up with him twice before and somehow I just get sucked in. I'm tired of de...	Jenn86	4	354	Aug 20, 2013 by Jenn86
	Trying to force solutions... (Preview) Hello dear MIP brothers and sisters...it's been so long since I've had a chance to visit or write. I've missed you. XAH and I have not had any communication since the beginning of July, when we were working out some of the details of the divorce decree. I am relieved that the only thing left is to take the q...	blondie99	12	2364	Aug 20, 2013 by blondie99
	the princess who kissed the frog and became a frog herself.... (Preview) the fear that things will never change. even though I'm aware of many of my mistakes and faults, and even though I've worked through the steps again and again, and even though I have had good days full of hope lately, I'm back at point 0, and sometimes deeper. I feel exhausted again, trying to keep mysel...	tortuga	12	371	Aug 20, 2013 by blondie99
	dunno if this will help you all, but it is helping me (Preview) one topic my AA partner and I discussed is BALANCE...... today I wrote down...a "typical" day for me and lately, writing down how long I am taking to do such and such I then made a list, negotiable , of course if something special arises, but a basic list of reasonable time I need to spend on...	neshema2	2	288	Aug 19, 2013 by Mimi3
	Mini Vacation (Preview) Hi All I'm back to work and I DON"T want to be here. After 5 days off and I want to retire...hehe I wish! I cleaned my house, did some yard work, started to put up my new lighting outside, went gambling, had my toes and nails done, went shopping and was lazy. Was able to spend some quality time with...	Cathyinaz	6	197	Aug 20, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Trying to hang in there after breaking up (Preview) I have not been on here in awhile. I posted last that I had broken up with my boyfriend a month ago, and only saw him 2x for aa meetings to accompany him. Two weeks ago he got black out drunk at a girl's apartment we have had major trust issues with in the past, and he actually scared her in his blackout and then...	giraffe13	11	502	Aug 20, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	I feel like a fraud (Preview) I'd like to know what you ladies & gents think about my being here, and my situation. I feel like a fraud (again, like I did 15 years ago with my first try at Al-Anon). I absolutely love this board. It has been a life- and sanity-saver for me. I learned codependent behavior from my Mother in my childhoo...	ClearTheFog	32	806	Aug 20, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Light at the end of the tunnel (Preview) Hey everyone, I mentioned the other day that my dad got his second dui and I was in a place of fear and loneliness. I saw my dad today and he was in a good place. So was I. He seems to be taking responsibility for his actions. He apologized to me and my sister and re-iterated he is going to sell his car and start t...	slogan_jim	7	223	Aug 19, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Breathing Under Water (Preview) I am finishing an online course titled "Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps" and wanted to share this quote: "With these twelve important breathing lessons, you now know for yourself that you can breathe, and even under water. Because the breath of God( or yo...	PP	14	461	Aug 19, 2013 by afglin
	AA destroyed our family (Preview) I read with interest the account of "James" family being destroyed through AA's infliction into his wife's life. I have had the exact experience. I am happy beyond description that my wife quit drinking. She certainly would have met with a disastrous ending However, she has become a com...	Jack3126	26	1074	Aug 19, 2013 by Bettina
	keeping in touch w/ my sponsor & other alanon friends. (Preview) I just want to say even though it sounds like I might be off my rocker at times, I do speak to my sponsor & Al anon friends almost daily either by text, email or phone. I have been reading Al anon literature daily & some times it even makes sense to me. I am just working on getting some sanity back. FYI...	Hoot Nanny	2	159	Aug 19, 2013 by neshema2
	Words.....how do I say it? (Preview) Hello all...this is my first time posting here..I'm somewhat familiar with forums but this particular one is brand new for me. Al-Anon is not new to me (my ODAT book is dated 1972...haha)....but the season of my life that I find myself in requires a BIG return to Al-Anon principals...lol So, I have re...	cms1122	2	307	Aug 19, 2013 by hotrod
	Well I know it now (Preview) I saw this today and it actually brought up some compassion from me to ME...Yea..I actually said to myself "ok, we didn't know it then... The cruel assessments of me I bought, but no more...I will work my inventory, thank you" I felt a sense of sadness that I didn't see it for all those decade...	neshema2	1	224	Aug 19, 2013 by neshema2
	well *****l...I told a fib (Preview) I said on my post that I was gonna wait to get back in harness (read, and post) , but I saw sooo many "need to read/respond to" posts that I could not resist.. First, I would like to say Welcome to the new comers...U came to the right place... Recovery can be hard..Sad...But nothing worthwhile...	neshema2	6	315	Aug 19, 2013 by neshema2
	Taking a break from MIP (Preview) Hello, everyone. Just wanted to let you all know that I will not be around much. I'll probably come on and check for private messages every so often, though. I have come to realize that I'm not growing. I'm obviously not working my program very well. I'm stuck and I'm choosing to stay there because...	ilovedogs	15	582	Aug 19, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Normal (Preview) I called my son tonight at our usual time. Haven't talked with him since a few days after his surgery. He was pleasant and watching a pre-season football game. He didn't want to talk with me long. He was happy watching his game. I loved it. I did what I wanted to do. Check in with him. He did what he w...	grateful2be	14	400	Aug 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	Taking the first step.... (Preview) Hello. My name is Stephanie, and my husband is an alcoholic.... thought I would use the old stand by intro! My attempt at levity. We have been married four years. I always knew he drank a lot. I should, of course, have seen the signs. But I ignored them, and my inner voice. He is trying to stay sober now...	Stevens	14	340	Aug 19, 2013 by Stevens
	Stopping in with an eye opening Step 4 discovery (Preview) Hey all just stopping in to update Had a REAL good work w/AA friend/coo-sponsor on my step 4.....I had to go on R&R to do this and feel the pain of yet more Crap to clean up on me....I discovered that (no surprise) that I am still fear based..especially my needs being met and my AA friend and I went over...	neshema2	5	416	Aug 19, 2013 by PP
	Need encouragement to follow my program (Preview) Hi all, I am having trouble with my relationship with my parents who are enablers to my AS. They choose to pay all of his bills and watch his son because he is too hung over to watch him. He is addicted to alcohol and they are addicted to him. I on the other hand try to stay on course with my alanon principl...	debhud	8	467	Aug 18, 2013 by Turris
	Perspectives (cont) (Preview) "Time is constantly passing, one moment following fast upon the other. That's why its so important to press forward boldly,without complaining or fretting. The person who looks to the future and keeps moving ahead is eternally youthful. Such a person's heart is filled with flowers and shin...	Bettina	7	185	Aug 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	What I want vs what I need (Preview) Boy am I a slow learner and a fast forgetter! I have had a couple of humbling lessons in the God of my understanding giving me what I need vs what I want .. that's ok. I'm having a clearer picture that the Pushka plan isn't what it needs to be .. I don't necessarily like it .. I do have to come to accept it's n...	Pushka	8	431	Aug 18, 2013 by Pushka
	sharing my story (Preview) Hi All, I am sharing my story tomorrow in the afternoon of the convention with AA and al anon present. It will be the first time my partner (sober ABF) has heard my story. The theme is hope and sobriety, today we have sobriety in our home life is not perfect but so much better. It is thanks to both fellowsh...	Tracy	5	221	Aug 18, 2013 by pinkchip
	Perspectives (Preview) "True Ease and comfort are not found in a quiet,uneventful life. This may sound paradoxical, but hardships bring about ease and comfort. For only by establising strong individual lives capable of boldly challenging difficult obstacles can we find true Peace and security in this lifetime....	Bettina	1	204	Aug 17, 2013 by hotrod
	Does it ever end? (Preview) I can't take anymore. Do I have to take abuse? What do you do when you work and make too much for help, yet not enough to even pay house and ulities. I have serious health issues too. I'm 3 years from retirement and I have to keep my health insurance? I have faith in God but I have to be realistic too.	wings of a dove	6	446	Aug 17, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Feeling lost and empty! (Preview) It seems the better I get at detaching from my A/A's (daughter and her son), I feel spiritually disconnected from them, I know I still love them, but I mostly feel sadness/fear when I think of them, sad because of their bad choices/circumstances they are in and fear they will try to con/manipulate me in...	Highlyfavored	9	354	Aug 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	lol?? (Preview) This evening- as my AB was getting himself good and drunk in celebration of it being Friday, he mentioned to me that a house we had previously looked at was up for rent again, and that he would like to take another look at it. Then he grew serious and said "I have a concern though. The house has a lot of s...	Melly1248	9	325	Aug 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Didn't mean to take a break (Preview) Hi all-My life got so hectic and busy and I have felt pressure from work, 90 yr old mom, son and spouse issues, etc., etc., etc. However, I have missed the board and hopefully can get back to checking in as I used to. Each day I couldn't get here I wondered howall wondered how everyone was doing and I wanted t...	Lyne	4	246	Aug 17, 2013 by pinkchip
	Had to laugh.... (Preview) I was at my physical therapy session and had the early good fortune of almost being one on one with my therapist which was cool. She is a young doctor and good at what she does and I was expressing honest gratitude. Over a bit of time others started to come into the place and I went from massage table to e...	Jerry F	6	258	Aug 17, 2013 by Tasha
	Rowing (Preview) I read a story recently- supposedly an AA story so I apologise if you guys have heard it before- but it was the most sensible and compelling reason to throw myself into recovery that I had ever heard. It sparked a change in me. I'll have to paraphrase but hopefully I'll convey the meaning. A woman is lost...	Melly1248	7	481	Aug 17, 2013 by Tasha
	You're welcome... (Preview) I was at an AA open meeting a month or two ago. After the meeting I was talking to a younger member. She said that when she got a few things sorted out in AA she would like to come along to Alanon. I turned to her, and smiled. I said, as far as I was concerned, if you are sober on the day, you are welcome. It is mayb...	DavidG	10	216	Aug 17, 2013 by DavidG
	kids and disappointment (Preview) the exA is at a family cottage on a lake for a week. the 11 yo and 16 yo boys are with him. One of the 11 yo's friends couldn't come with him bc his mom is not comfortable with the exA. When my son left at the beginning of the week, it was okay bc another friend would be able to come visit on thurs. I don't know wha...	rehprof	5	421	Aug 17, 2013 by abbyal
	facing reality head on. (Preview) I am learning to face reality head on especially now that my mom is in the hospital & I am powerless over what happens to her from here. My hands are tied. My husband is her contact person not me. She chose him over me which I am finally getting over after less than a week. I am still at this point not talki...	Hoot Nanny	2	318	Aug 17, 2013 by hotrod
	I , too, am taking a small break from the board.. (Preview) My issues, right now, are not alanon related....Its this financial fear, inability to find more income, depression and fighting off this financial fear.... Sadness and grief and yea, anger how my life could be taken from me and I kick myself for not knowing about alanon, coda till so late in my life...	neshema2	10	513	Aug 16, 2013 by Turris
	True Entertainment with a great message! (Preview)	John	7	576	Aug 16, 2013 by DavidG
	What a craptacular morning. (Preview) <- love this one, it's just perfect for today. What a night/morning. 'Scuse me posting a bit but it's really helping me stay focused to speak this stuff "out loud" and make myself face it. It's all much less confusing and stressful when I share it here because there's a clear path that I ne...	Melly1248	11	582	Aug 16, 2013 by Breakingfree
	1st f2f tomorrow. (Preview) So, first f2f meeting tomorrow at 1pm. I live in an extremely small town. There's one daytime and one night-time meeting per week. What if the people there don't like me? What if there is someone there from my daughter's school? One of the other parents? A teacher? What if someone sees me go in? The dog wo...	Melly1248	15	430	Aug 16, 2013 by Breakingfree
	How to deal with a disruptive mentally ill person during a meeting (Preview) One of the meetings I attend is in the middle of a discussion about how we should deal with a mentally ill person who sometimes talks to herself during a meeting and when she shares she rants about strange things that have happened to her. Any suggestions on how we can solve this problem in a manner consi...	SunnySkies	13	1016	Aug 16, 2013 by hotrod
	going back on ultimatums? (Preview) First timer on this forum. I am struggling with going down the same road again. Mom is reporting how good she is doing and asking for "another chance" but the last time I vowed not to deal with this ever again.	big dave	8	545	Aug 15, 2013 by DavidG
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.