Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi all I have been working really hard accepting ( TRULY accepting ) my son for what he is. To love him and let him be. With meetings and help I am slowly accepting and not projecting the future for my son. It's been sad at times and good at times. I will continue to move forward one day at a time...... I w...

Gaby · Gaby

Hi all most of you know my situation about my young son. He is currently in active Christian Base Recovery Program. He says he finally found a program that he belongs too. He is about 4 hours away ( which is a good thing ) it saddens me because all I can think is he is passing me by.. I have not worked my program...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Starting out the day with taking care of me. Turning the focus off the a's and keeping it on me....

irukan · irukan

I've been down this road before, but I could really use some help thinking this part through. What is my next right action, since all I can control is me? I quit drinking on January 1, 2012, but my drinking buddy, my AH, did not. As I am still in our marriage, I need a strategy I am comfortable with regard...

tortuga · tortuga

posting again, because I feel the urge to respond to his email again...to reach out to the nice guy in him again. Still not sure if this is the right thing to do...but I also know I haven't been healthy and have let myself abuse too much, so for the moment I let other people guide me, friends who love me and r...

raggedyann · raggedyann

I'm new to this forum, so I'm not entirely sure if this is in the right spot, but here I go (I apologize in advance for the length): I am currently 18, and have been estranged from my father for 7 years now. He was a violent, abusive alcoholic who beat my mother and forced my mother, my older brother, and me to...

Lyne · Lyne

Need some help from you all with communicating with my A. We are on a trip which we have taken for the last 20 yrs. It involves alot of walking. She is at a life-threatening weight. Some of this occurred due to her excessive drinking. I have commented to her, especially last night, about her losing h...

LeeMarie · LeeMarie

My AH left our home after I filed a court order to force him out. He had 1 month to make arrangements but he stormed off one night and just never came back. We didn't know where is was until my kids friends (my kids are all mid - late teens) informed us they saw him living in his car in a parking lot in our smal...

joker · joker

Since my last posting, I had the alcoholic b/f that was abusing me to extreme, arrested! Yes, by the grace of god, I was believed by the police and now he sits in jail. The court is going by indictment, meaning over 2 years in jail if found guilty. He has pleasd NG. Today I finished my victim impact s...

Jerry F · Jerry F

One day at a time...My wife announced that her son J called to say hello and to announce that he now has 24 years clean and sober and that is sooooo cool to hear and remember. When she and I first got together...I went over to her home for some mexican food (she does mexican like God likes it and therefore...

sweeetr · sweeetr

Sitting on the couch with my son my ah and his a friend eating supper and watching a movie. Friend left son went to bed And I realized. How sad this is. How sad that he keeps asking if I'm mad (I know he got off at 2 today and home at 5..then "worked" on boat til 7) he knows and I know what he does with h...

islandtime · islandtime

OK, I am reading about working the programs, how do I do that? also how do I get a sponser and where do I get publications? I don't know if I am going to be able to get to F2F meetings. I was VERY sad to see that the closest one to me would be 2 hr round trip. Not good. Thanks all

qwerty49 · qwerty49

Shall i just leave...

qwerty49 · qwerty49

Hi there, I am new to alanon, attended my first meeting last night, a very emotional one at that with some amazing supportive people with such touching stories. I am in the process of moving to Cornwall on my own. I'm wondering if it would be enabling my alcoholic mother to allow her to come over and stay a...

irukan · irukan

Hi all, I am new to this forum, but not to Al-Anon. Well, I still feel like a babe in the woods, as I've only been in the program since January and am still in the middle of Step 1! I have a sponsor, who I've met with twice. I've called one of the members between meetings. I am pretty fearful of commitments...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Oh dear. I've been really off this last week, little outbursts, anger, tears, anxiety, you name it. Positive mantras, prayer, meetings, I've been trying to stay on top of it but hopelessness has sort of been taking over. Today I just felt awful. I argued with the A last night, he was being cruel and I sta...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I believe the prayers and good energy you all sent helped me. Is sorta up, and down. It seems so insane to be where some of us are, who have no one. I don't believe we deserve it. Am not kidding when I say, I have not had a conversation with anyone for so many weeks. Have no one to talk about this horrible thing t...

RandomPerson · RandomPerson

So AH has been sober for three days, and today out iof nowhere he tells me he read a post i posted online at another message board, it was something stupid, like a 'what turns u on'. well, he really took it to heart even though i wasn't making it personal for me, just a general B session between me and my messa...

neshema2 · neshema2

Everyone this is Janet....My youngest grandchild...The last of em....my only girl grandbaby..I have 4 lovely grandsons but this is my princess......I went over daughter #2's house tonight b/c she really needed her computer repaired and so after a struggle I fixed it....D#2 was all lovey and kiss...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Everyone, I called my dad tonight after my meeting. He was drunk and out somewhere. It sounded way to loud to be a bar. Almost like he was at a store or a mall or something. This was around 9:30pm. Either way that is here nor there. He said he's talking to his work tomorrow and that if he wants to go to a famo...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This new job in the rehab has been taxing in all sort of ways. It is giving me crazy dreams. I am having a harder time detaching. Adults' problems seem more dramatic and serious. But I am not fooling myself. I am working with a very needy, entitled, and demanding population and they are inpatient me...

tortuga · tortuga

so after 1 week silence, where I managed to stay head over water, and stay calm, with my friends around that came luckily to visit from abroad.... I stayed away from exABF, and he also stayed silent, which made us probably feel safe after the events last Tuesday, were he hit me out of a anxiety attack. So t...

deborah ann · deborah ann

I live with a recovering drug/ alcoholic. He is sober for 18 years and yet his personality is very short and explosive. He has episodes of anger and we have several screaming matches a week. They usually occur on the weekends. It is like he has two personalities. He is very needy and controlling. I love h...

qwerty49 · qwerty49

Good morning. Feeling emotional this morning as I've communicated with my AM & wondering if it was a mistake. Started attended alanon & realized i no longer can deal with mums alcoholism. She is approaching end stage Hep/Liver disease. Not hospitalized but struggling to breathe, needing...

Squeak · Squeak

I'm having a really hard time trying to understand what I'm doing in my relationship. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic, he's been sober for 7 years. Recently he broke his foot and had to go on disability so he can't work or ride his motorcycle. At least once a week he'll call me and list a ton of re...

ryanhearted · ryanhearted

I have been online here for a few months, primarily reading posts and attending the online meetings when I can. I feel like I'm grabbing ahold of al-anon and it's helped me with my anger towards my AH. But I keep getting broadsided. And I don't know if it's because I"m naive, in denial, or just plain...

islandtime · islandtime

Another brilliant realization has just popped into my mind. Asside from every other aspect of living with my AH. I have taken on the extra burden of keeping all this disfunction under wraps. Most people think I really have it made, living the life, married to a great guy. Oh how lucky I am LOL! I am lucky...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AD has broken off all communication from our family (except with her older sister) since my AH's memorial service this past January. Her twin sister, who is getting married in October, tried one last desperate attempt to make contact with her this past weekend. She and her fiancee visited the bar a...

Lyne · Lyne

I was thinking today (have alot of time to reflect while on vacation and don't have to think about work!) that if I had had never been involved with addicted spouses, and went on this message board, I would think all of you (and reading my own posts) were a bunch of cult, crazy people who need to get a life. ...

Pushka · Pushka

PP reminded me of what I keep saying to myself and needed the reminder .. I believe what I see not what I hear. The actions and words don't match there will be no follow through. Over the weekend had a very weird experience well a couple .. STBAX's mental health is completely off the charts bad. The situ...

Deborah_ · Deborah_

My darling husband just celebrated his one year birthday sober. I sort of felt that we caught his alcoholism early, because though he had been drinking heavily for about 4 years, it had only bothered me or him for a short time. It hadn't really damaged our relationship much (we have been a couple for 12 y...

islandtime · islandtime

In the very short time I have been on here, a dam has opened and a lot of crap has been flowing out, with it have come some insites that for some reason I never saw. First I never noticed that I am affected by A in 4 different directions... 1 my AH... 2 my mentally ill A son,...3 my AD,... and finally mommy...

rehprof · rehprof

well, school starts tomorrow...I start teaching next week. I have to teach an extra class (that makes 4 in all) to make ends meet...which means I'll be working 60 hours a week between classes, office hours, committee work, and grading... my dishwasher is broken...so now I have to find the time to do th...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I'm not understanding what my purpose here is. I know I'm sick but sick from what the alcoholic or the control manipulating ways or sick of putting up with the poor attitude and negativity that I am getting from my A ? One week I get gifts the next week the cops are at my house and I'm not even home the neighbo...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Tonight I am asking for those who pray and don't mind an extra prayer, to keep me and my ex Abf in there. His name is T. We broke up in July due to his drinking and unpredictable behavior. In the last 2 months, his emotions have gone from desperation and suicidal sadness to anger and just complete exhaustio...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I came to this board and to alanon thinking there was just one A in my life that needed fixing, my husband. Lol. I had a lot to learn. My first face to face meeting turned out to be an adult child group. When I started to lose some of the panic in my daily life, I started listening to others share about their e...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Augie my pet farm pig has decided he has to get in my lap....He leans on me, slides down and pins me by my feet! geez Prudi my potted pig always sleeps with me now, under the covers of course. Be nice in winter. She is so soft and warm. Glory loves Prudie, if she things pru is in danger she starts freaking, runn...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54781117/step-11-alanon/

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I wanted all summer to have a camping trip with my whole family... I finally managed to get them all together for Saturday sleeplover night at a campground. It was only for one night, but I will take what I can get. I was so excited. I love when my kids and grand kids can all be together!!! I love them all SO...

Debilyn · Debilyn

You can guess who I sent that voices one to. send him the pic of Glory horses butt and said hey here is a picture of you. Taylor was in with me helping me make everyone popcorn. Neat bull snake and alligator lizard mac caught. my old potted pig Dickens not sure what else. forgot already.....

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, Recently I've had an instance where one of al-anon's 20 questions for adult-children can apply. "Do you mis-trust your own feelings and the feelings expressed by others?" I play recreationally in a sports league. I joined this league a few months ago, met some guys and they a...

Tiff5484 · Tiff5484

So I went to a f2f meeting and my sister shows up, she said she wanted to come but never had a schedule for it. But tonight she showed up with a open mind to alanon. She is a recovering drug addict and she always attended NA. I am so happy she went, she got something out of it as well as I did too and for me I am not a b...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I dont get how someone can go from "fine" to "messed up" in .3 seconds... and claiming AH didnt do anything, just got tired and fell asleep. I know the difference between tired and messed up, also know the difference between fell asleep and passing in and out. I'm like .... OK,.j...

deacon · deacon

I used to believe in God, I attended church for a large part of my life and then I took a look at the world. At all the cruelty done in the name of religion. At all the ignorance and bigotry in my own church while they talked 'the talk'. And I have prayed and prayed so long and hard for the last several years to no...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is a good day but I seem to want to go into the past too much. Not working the one day at a time slogan very well. I have a lot of old emails I sent to my parents before they died. Until today, I didn't know how to sort them. I am just trying to make some sense out of life. These days my mom is not the only one on m...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi all- A spouse and I are away. She is having difficulty walking. Of course I've been telling her for years that she is going to loose her mobility but of course she never listened and of course I should have been minding my own business! (Her weight is a huge problem and she admits the drinking she did...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I've read and re-read that thread and it, the responses are confidence builders. Some of the responses are so very near what and how I learned in program and others are changes in perception while I'm looking at the same picture...different angle. My wise elder Sponsor use to work that one with m...

tortuga · tortuga

I met my ex ABF this week. I didn't consider it to be a bad move, because I trusted myself. Now please don't tell me, you should have, you shouldn't have, you are playing the victim, you are this , you are that. i am working my program. I am trying to take care of myself. I do mistakes, and I know better after th...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I just started my recovery. I *engaged* in my first alanon meeting as well as a Coda meeting a few days ago. I thought I had been doing ok..I left 2 months ago. I realize now that my AH getting sober (thank god for him) is NOT the solution to my problems. I am my solution to my problems...er, well I should say m...

tortuga · tortuga

Today I woke up with this motivation. Got tired of waiting, passively, depending on other people's moods or actions.I reclaim my life, I am the director, and I also decide how I feel. Today I want to move on, away from that chaotic past, close and far,searching for truer answers. It's a bit scary , but I...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Hi every one , I'm not having a good 1/2 right now .. Today was good I went to get my hair cut and color I needed.. Well I made the wrong choice! The color is my blond but my cut is chic and sassy , I had no choice but to have it cut short my ends were dead frizzie , looked bad , mistake number 2 comming home looking li...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

Hi everyone :) I wanted to share some enlightenment. I have been reading "stop walking on eggshells" It is an amazing book. It draws so much of what I have been going through with my SO. Not only that is also allows me to be honest with myself (dealing with past traumatic events). It has draw...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Over the last couple of days, since hearing of my dad's second dui, I have a whole mix of emotions. Anger, resentment, relief....but a new one has emerged, anxiety. Anxiety over the prospect of having to potentially (key word), e...

islandtime · islandtime

been married to a AH for over 40 years. why ??don't ask me. I feel like he has sucked the sole out of me. He brings the worst out of me. I am completely alone, I have no one. A husband is supposed to be your friend, and have your back. He is supposed to be your companion. I get nothing from him.I have needs , non...

islandtime · islandtime

A couple of years ago, I dragged the AH to get marriage counceling, what a joke that was. The huge elephant in the room was that he was an AH. I danced all around it without ever coming out and saying it . Didn't want to offend him LOL!! After a few sessions, she decided what our plan of action should be........

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

It is amazing when the writing is on the wall. I came to the site exactly a year ago close to this time. Infact I posted close to my birthday. Guess what? The same things keep happening. It is almost like repeat seeing things. My SO are now living in different cities, different places and things haven...

cagirl · cagirl

I'm new on this board. A little background ... I have been attending Al Anon meetings for 18 months and I have a sponsor. Four months ago my RAH served me separation papers - we have been married for 17 years and have a 14 yr old daughter. At first he wanted a financial separation but for the past 3 month...

Sam813 · Sam813

I haven't been on here in awhile and am glad to be back :) My brother is an addict (for years now...hes 24) and I've been able to detach with love and pray for him with the help of alanon. He's been in and out of rehabs and homeless for awhile as well. He is currently sober 2 months, completed inpatient and...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I'm so sad I just can't stand this anymore. My son asked me if he could wash some clothes....I said OK. As I was helping him put them in the washer a bottle of water fell out. I told him I would put it in the refrig. He left, I was thirsty, went to refrigerator got the bottle of water, opened it and took a big...

RandomPerson · RandomPerson

I've been reading this board for about three months now, not really sure how to 'step in' to any conversations. I'd like to start in by saying that I read a lot of posts on here and think "OMG! MY AH DOES THAT!!". It's been nice to know that I'm not the only one who is going through this. - not nice t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Acceptance (Preview) Hi all I have been working really hard accepting ( TRULY accepting ) my son for what he is. To love him and let him be. With meetings and help I am slowly accepting and not projecting the future for my son. It's been sad at times and good at times. I will continue to move forward one day at a time...... I w...	Cathyinaz	8	264	Aug 30, 2013 by AngelicH57
	I'm not where I need to be because if my projections.. (Preview) Hi all most of you know my situation about my young son. He is currently in active Christian Base Recovery Program. He says he finally found a program that he belongs too. He is about 4 hours away ( which is a good thing ) it saddens me because all I can think is he is passing me by.. I have not worked my program...	Gaby	3	331	Aug 30, 2013 by pinkchip
	Good Morning (Preview) Starting out the day with taking care of me. Turning the focus off the a's and keeping it on me....	mercedes1959	3	171	Aug 30, 2013 by mercedes1959
	How to accept the drinking (Preview) I've been down this road before, but I could really use some help thinking this part through. What is my next right action, since all I can control is me? I quit drinking on January 1, 2012, but my drinking buddy, my AH, did not. As I am still in our marriage, I need a strategy I am comfortable with regard...	irukan	4	553	Aug 30, 2013 by pinkchip
	it's hard to be hard... (Preview) posting again, because I feel the urge to respond to his email again...to reach out to the nice guy in him again. Still not sure if this is the right thing to do...but I also know I haven't been healthy and have let myself abuse too much, so for the moment I let other people guide me, friends who love me and r...	tortuga	6	377	Aug 30, 2013 by PP
	My father and my friendship father friendships fallouts karma signs estrangement (Preview) I'm new to this forum, so I'm not entirely sure if this is in the right spot, but here I go (I apologize in advance for the length): I am currently 18, and have been estranged from my father for 7 years now. He was a violent, abusive alcoholic who beat my mother and forced my mother, my older brother, and me to...	raggedyann	9	5610	Aug 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	help please with drawing the line (Preview) Need some help from you all with communicating with my A. We are on a trip which we have taken for the last 20 yrs. It involves alot of walking. She is at a life-threatening weight. Some of this occurred due to her excessive drinking. I have commented to her, especially last night, about her losing h...	Lyne	9	331	Aug 30, 2013 by grateful2be
	Can Someone Explain his Behavior (Preview) My AH left our home after I filed a court order to force him out. He had 1 month to make arrangements but he stormed off one night and just never came back. We didn't know where is was until my kids friends (my kids are all mid - late teens) informed us they saw him living in his car in a parking lot in our smal...	LeeMarie	6	432	Aug 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	Court follow up (Preview) Since my last posting, I had the alcoholic b/f that was abusing me to extreme, arrested! Yes, by the grace of god, I was believed by the police and now he sits in jail. The court is going by indictment, meaning over 2 years in jail if found guilty. He has pleasd NG. Today I finished my victim impact s...	joker	4	484	Aug 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	Good time flying by (Preview) One day at a time...My wife announced that her son J called to say hello and to announce that he now has 24 years clean and sober and that is sooooo cool to hear and remember. When she and I first got together...I went over to her home for some mexican food (she does mexican like God likes it and therefore...	Jerry F	12	383	Aug 30, 2013 by yanksfan51
	So sad- just sadness (Preview) Sitting on the couch with my son my ah and his a friend eating supper and watching a movie. Friend left son went to bed And I realized. How sad this is. How sad that he keeps asking if I'm mad (I know he got off at 2 today and home at 5..then "worked" on boat til 7) he knows and I know what he does with h...	sweeetr	15	483	Aug 29, 2013 by grateful2be
	new and confused (Preview) OK, I am reading about working the programs, how do I do that? also how do I get a sponser and where do I get publications? I don't know if I am going to be able to get to F2F meetings. I was VERY sad to see that the closest one to me would be 2 hr round trip. Not good. Thanks all	islandtime	5	330	Aug 29, 2013 by sweeetr
	Agreed to meet alcoholic mother and now sat waiting 20 minutes late already.... annoyed with myself and her (Preview) Shall i just leave...	qwerty49	11	403	Aug 29, 2013 by grateful2be
	Allow my alcoholic mother to come & stay with me in Cornwall? (Preview) Hi there, I am new to alanon, attended my first meeting last night, a very emotional one at that with some amazing supportive people with such touching stories. I am in the process of moving to Cornwall on my own. I'm wondering if it would be enabling my alcoholic mother to allow her to come over and stay a...	qwerty49	7	565	Aug 29, 2013 by qwerty49
	Finding surrender and acceptance really hard (Preview) Hi all, I am new to this forum, but not to Al-Anon. Well, I still feel like a babe in the woods, as I've only been in the program since January and am still in the middle of Step 1! I have a sponsor, who I've met with twice. I've called one of the members between meetings. I am pretty fearful of commitments...	irukan	16	739	Aug 29, 2013 by hotrod
	I got bread from the hardware store! (Preview) Oh dear. I've been really off this last week, little outbursts, anger, tears, anxiety, you name it. Positive mantras, prayer, meetings, I've been trying to stay on top of it but hopelessness has sort of been taking over. Today I just felt awful. I argued with the A last night, he was being cruel and I sta...	Melly1248	14	614	Aug 29, 2013 by hotrod
	Just letting things out a little. (Preview) I believe the prayers and good energy you all sent helped me. Is sorta up, and down. It seems so insane to be where some of us are, who have no one. I don't believe we deserve it. Am not kidding when I say, I have not had a conversation with anyone for so many weeks. Have no one to talk about this horrible thing t...	Debilyn	4	346	Aug 28, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	Not sure how to react! (Preview) So AH has been sober for three days, and today out iof nowhere he tells me he read a post i posted online at another message board, it was something stupid, like a 'what turns u on'. well, he really took it to heart even though i wasn't making it personal for me, just a general B session between me and my messa...	RandomPerson	6	436	Aug 28, 2013 by neshema2
	This is probably why I take her nonsense (Preview) Everyone this is Janet....My youngest grandchild...The last of em....my only girl grandbaby..I have 4 lovely grandsons but this is my princess......I went over daughter #2's house tonight b/c she really needed her computer repaired and so after a struggle I fixed it....D#2 was all lovey and kiss...	neshema2	7	281	Aug 28, 2013 by neshema2
	Spoke with my dad (Preview) Hey Everyone, I called my dad tonight after my meeting. He was drunk and out somewhere. It sounded way to loud to be a bar. Almost like he was at a store or a mall or something. This was around 9:30pm. Either way that is here nor there. He said he's talking to his work tomorrow and that if he wants to go to a famo...	slogan_jim	5	377	Aug 28, 2013 by Lyne
	Not sure if it's for me (Preview) This new job in the rehab has been taxing in all sort of ways. It is giving me crazy dreams. I am having a harder time detaching. Adults' problems seem more dramatic and serious. But I am not fooling myself. I am working with a very needy, entitled, and demanding population and they are inpatient me...	pinkchip	23	625	Aug 28, 2013 by Tasha
	coming here to write, rather than answering his calls and mails...plz support me keeping grounded. (Preview) so after 1 week silence, where I managed to stay head over water, and stay calm, with my friends around that came luckily to visit from abroad.... I stayed away from exABF, and he also stayed silent, which made us probably feel safe after the events last Tuesday, were he hit me out of a anxiety attack. So t...	tortuga	7	427	Aug 28, 2013 by ryanhearted
	living with a recovering alcoholic and drug user (Preview) I live with a recovering drug/ alcoholic. He is sober for 18 years and yet his personality is very short and explosive. He has episodes of anger and we have several screaming matches a week. They usually occur on the weekends. It is like he has two personalities. He is very needy and controlling. I love h...	deborah ann	8	1448	Aug 28, 2013 by ryanhearted
	Painful detachment text message to my AM (Preview) Good morning. Feeling emotional this morning as I've communicated with my AM & wondering if it was a mistake. Started attended alanon & realized i no longer can deal with mums alcoholism. She is approaching end stage Hep/Liver disease. Not hospitalized but struggling to breathe, needing...	qwerty49	11	427	Aug 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	At a loss (Preview) I'm having a really hard time trying to understand what I'm doing in my relationship. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic, he's been sober for 7 years. Recently he broke his foot and had to go on disability so he can't work or ride his motorcycle. At least once a week he'll call me and list a ton of re...	Squeak	12	384	Aug 28, 2013 by Jerry F
	Just need support (Preview) I have been online here for a few months, primarily reading posts and attending the online meetings when I can. I feel like I'm grabbing ahold of al-anon and it's helped me with my anger towards my AH. But I keep getting broadsided. And I don't know if it's because I"m naive, in denial, or just plain...	ryanhearted	8	468	Aug 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	keeper of the secret (Preview) Another brilliant realization has just popped into my mind. Asside from every other aspect of living with my AH. I have taken on the extra burden of keeping all this disfunction under wraps. Most people think I really have it made, living the life, married to a great guy. Oh how lucky I am LOL! I am lucky...	islandtime	14	451	Aug 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	AD Continues to Isolate detachment (Preview) My AD has broken off all communication from our family (except with her older sister) since my AH's memorial service this past January. Her twin sister, who is getting married in October, tried one last desperate attempt to make contact with her this past weekend. She and her fiancee visited the bar a...	Green Eyes	8	2833	Aug 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	bunch of looney people (Preview) I was thinking today (have alot of time to reflect while on vacation and don't have to think about work!) that if I had had never been involved with addicted spouses, and went on this message board, I would think all of you (and reading my own posts) were a bunch of cult, crazy people who need to get a life. ...	Lyne	8	1882	Aug 28, 2013 by hotrod
	What the disease says .. (Preview) PP reminded me of what I keep saying to myself and needed the reminder .. I believe what I see not what I hear. The actions and words don't match there will be no follow through. Over the weekend had a very weird experience well a couple .. STBAX's mental health is completely off the charts bad. The situ...	Pushka	2	289	Aug 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Worried about my AA's health (Preview) My darling husband just celebrated his one year birthday sober. I sort of felt that we caught his alcoholism early, because though he had been drinking heavily for about 4 years, it had only bothered me or him for a short time. It hadn't really damaged our relationship much (we have been a couple for 12 y...	Deborah_	4	382	Aug 27, 2013 by neshema2
	dealing with my mother (Preview) In the very short time I have been on here, a dam has opened and a lot of crap has been flowing out, with it have come some insites that for some reason I never saw. First I never noticed that I am affected by A in 4 different directions... 1 my AH... 2 my mentally ill A son,...3 my AD,... and finally mommy...	islandtime	4	355	Aug 27, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	feeling overwhelmed (Preview) well, school starts tomorrow...I start teaching next week. I have to teach an extra class (that makes 4 in all) to make ends meet...which means I'll be working 60 hours a week between classes, office hours, committee work, and grading... my dishwasher is broken...so now I have to find the time to do th...	rehprof	8	512	Aug 27, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Please explain to me quality time!? (Preview) I'm not understanding what my purpose here is. I know I'm sick but sick from what the alcoholic or the control manipulating ways or sick of putting up with the poor attitude and negativity that I am getting from my A ? One week I get gifts the next week the cops are at my house and I'm not even home the neighbo...	Ms co-dependent	7	454	Aug 27, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Prayers requested (Preview) Tonight I am asking for those who pray and don't mind an extra prayer, to keep me and my ex Abf in there. His name is T. We broke up in July due to his drinking and unpredictable behavior. In the last 2 months, his emotions have gone from desperation and suicidal sadness to anger and just complete exhaustio...	giraffe13	10	356	Aug 27, 2013 by neshema2
	Family Tree (Preview) I came to this board and to alanon thinking there was just one A in my life that needed fixing, my husband. Lol. I had a lot to learn. My first face to face meeting turned out to be an adult child group. When I started to lose some of the panic in my daily life, I started listening to others share about their e...	ParisMemories	6	364	Aug 27, 2013 by 1911A1
	more pics. (Preview) Augie my pet farm pig has decided he has to get in my lap....He leans on me, slides down and pins me by my feet! geez Prudi my potted pig always sleeps with me now, under the covers of course. Be nice in winter. She is so soft and warm. Glory loves Prudie, if she things pru is in danger she starts freaking, runn...	Debilyn	4	431	Aug 27, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	11th STEP (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54781117/step-11-alanon/	hotrod	0	393	Aug 27, 2013 by hotrod
	GGGGGRRRRRR! (Preview) I wanted all summer to have a camping trip with my whole family... I finally managed to get them all together for Saturday sleeplover night at a campground. It was only for one night, but I will take what I can get. I was so excited. I love when my kids and grand kids can all be together!!! I love them all SO...	Sweet Stanley	10	490	Aug 27, 2013 by neshema2
	eden pictures (Preview) You can guess who I sent that voices one to. send him the pic of Glory horses butt and said hey here is a picture of you. Taylor was in with me helping me make everyone popcorn. Neat bull snake and alligator lizard mac caught. my old potted pig Dickens not sure what else. forgot already.....	Debilyn	2	410	Aug 27, 2013 by neshema2
	Trouble trusting my own feelings! (Preview) Hi everyone, Recently I've had an instance where one of al-anon's 20 questions for adult-children can apply. "Do you mis-trust your own feelings and the feelings expressed by others?" I play recreationally in a sports league. I joined this league a few months ago, met some guys and they a...	slogan_jim	4	530	Aug 27, 2013 by DavidG
	Great experience tonight (Preview) So I went to a f2f meeting and my sister shows up, she said she wanted to come but never had a schedule for it. But tonight she showed up with a open mind to alanon. She is a recovering drug addict and she always attended NA. I am so happy she went, she got something out of it as well as I did too and for me I am not a b...	Tiff5484	6	188	Aug 27, 2013 by hotrod
	.3 sec (Preview) I dont get how someone can go from "fine" to "messed up" in .3 seconds... and claiming AH didnt do anything, just got tired and fell asleep. I know the difference between tired and messed up, also know the difference between fell asleep and passing in and out. I'm like .... OK,.j...	sweeetr	4	196	Aug 27, 2013 by grateful2be
	What do you do it you don't believe in a HP? (Preview) I used to believe in God, I attended church for a large part of my life and then I took a look at the world. At all the cruelty done in the name of religion. At all the ignorance and bigotry in my own church while they talked 'the talk'. And I have prayed and prayed so long and hard for the last several years to no...	deacon	11	596	Aug 27, 2013 by slogan_jim
	a day of reflection... (Preview) Today is a good day but I seem to want to go into the past too much. Not working the one day at a time slogan very well. I have a lot of old emails I sent to my parents before they died. Until today, I didn't know how to sort them. I am just trying to make some sense out of life. These days my mom is not the only one on m...	Hoot Nanny	1	267	Aug 26, 2013 by el-cee
	notice self-improvement (Preview) Hi all- A spouse and I are away. She is having difficulty walking. Of course I've been telling her for years that she is going to loose her mobility but of course she never listened and of course I should have been minding my own business! (Her weight is a huge problem and she admits the drinking she did...	Lyne	6	263	Aug 26, 2013 by el-cee
	Continuation of Powerless and Hopeless (Preview) I've read and re-read that thread and it, the responses are confidence builders. Some of the responses are so very near what and how I learned in program and others are changes in perception while I'm looking at the same picture...different angle. My wise elder Sponsor use to work that one with m...	Jerry F	4	463	Aug 26, 2013 by Tasha
	how did I end up here? (Preview) I met my ex ABF this week. I didn't consider it to be a bad move, because I trusted myself. Now please don't tell me, you should have, you shouldn't have, you are playing the victim, you are this , you are that. i am working my program. I am trying to take care of myself. I do mistakes, and I know better after th...	tortuga	13	469	Aug 26, 2013 by norasq
	My feelings are taking over my logic... medication (Preview) I just started my recovery. I engaged in my first alanon meeting as well as a Coda meeting a few days ago. I thought I had been doing ok..I left 2 months ago. I realize now that my AH getting sober (thank god for him) is NOT the solution to my problems. I am my solution to my problems...er, well I should say m...	sadsusie	8	434	Aug 26, 2013 by grateful2be
	action versus re-action (Preview) Today I woke up with this motivation. Got tired of waiting, passively, depending on other people's moods or actions.I reclaim my life, I am the director, and I also decide how I feel. Today I want to move on, away from that chaotic past, close and far,searching for truer answers. It's a bit scary , but I...	tortuga	3	334	Aug 26, 2013 by ryanhearted
	Know matter what I do (Preview) Hi every one , I'm not having a good 1/2 right now .. Today was good I went to get my hair cut and color I needed.. Well I made the wrong choice! The color is my blond but my cut is chic and sassy , I had no choice but to have it cut short my ends were dead frizzie , looked bad , mistake number 2 comming home looking li...	Ms co-dependent	20	520	Aug 26, 2013 by PP
	POWERFUL ENLIGHTMENT! (Preview) Hi everyone :) I wanted to share some enlightenment. I have been reading "stop walking on eggshells" It is an amazing book. It draws so much of what I have been going through with my SO. Not only that is also allows me to be honest with myself (dealing with past traumatic events). It has draw...	InspiredPhotography	2	380	Aug 26, 2013 by Bettina
	Anxiety about my dad/me. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Over the last couple of days, since hearing of my dad's second dui, I have a whole mix of emotions. Anger, resentment, relief....but a new one has emerged, anxiety. Anxiety over the prospect of having to potentially (key word), e...	slogan_jim	7	370	Aug 26, 2013 by PP
	first time on here (Preview) been married to a AH for over 40 years. why ??don't ask me. I feel like he has sucked the sole out of me. He brings the worst out of me. I am completely alone, I have no one. A husband is supposed to be your friend, and have your back. He is supposed to be your companion. I get nothing from him.I have needs , non...	islandtime	15	413	Aug 26, 2013 by grateful2be
	going to a therapist (Preview) A couple of years ago, I dragged the AH to get marriage counceling, what a joke that was. The huge elephant in the room was that he was an AH. I danced all around it without ever coming out and saying it . Didn't want to offend him LOL!! After a few sessions, she decided what our plan of action should be........	islandtime	6	453	Aug 26, 2013 by RandomPerson
	A Year Later (Preview) It is amazing when the writing is on the wall. I came to the site exactly a year ago close to this time. Infact I posted close to my birthday. Guess what? The same things keep happening. It is almost like repeat seeing things. My SO are now living in different cities, different places and things haven...	InspiredPhotography	6	300	Aug 26, 2013 by InspiredPhotography
	RAH moving forward with divorce, I'm having a hard time letting go (Preview) I'm new on this board. A little background ... I have been attending Al Anon meetings for 18 months and I have a sponsor. Four months ago my RAH served me separation papers - we have been married for 17 years and have a 14 yr old daughter. At first he wanted a financial separation but for the past 3 month...	cagirl	6	535	Aug 26, 2013 by Bettina
	What about mental illness (Preview) I haven't been on here in awhile and am glad to be back :) My brother is an addict (for years now...hes 24) and I've been able to detach with love and pray for him with the help of alanon. He's been in and out of rehabs and homeless for awhile as well. He is currently sober 2 months, completed inpatient and...	Sam813	6	899	Aug 26, 2013 by islandtime
	Just let me go (Preview) I'm so sad I just can't stand this anymore. My son asked me if he could wash some clothes....I said OK. As I was helping him put them in the washer a bottle of water fell out. I told him I would put it in the refrig. He left, I was thirsty, went to refrigerator got the bottle of water, opened it and took a big...	Cathyinaz	27	612	Aug 26, 2013 by sweeetr
	New here, need advice and an ear. (Preview) I've been reading this board for about three months now, not really sure how to 'step in' to any conversations. I'd like to start in by saying that I read a lot of posts on here and think "OMG! MY AH DOES THAT!!". It's been nice to know that I'm not the only one who is going through this. - not nice t...	RandomPerson	18	3598	Aug 25, 2013 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.