Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

faith84 · faith84

Ok, So I keep going up and down, back and forth between acceptance and pure fury over my situation with my A. Some days I think, OK, I can do this, I can't change him or control him, just let him do his thing and I will do mine. And then a moment later I am back to giving him a lecture on how much he has hurt me, and t...

faith84 · faith84

Last Friday I posted in regards to a few vows that I wanted to work on. It is amazing once you FINALLY reach the point of understanding that you really are powerless to their addiction, and that the only thing that can be changed is ourselves and our attitudes. I have been attempting to get to this poin...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm not sure how it happened. I visited my coworker at her cubicle today because she's the only left of her team after downsizing. She sits in a big room of empty offices and empty cubicles on the other side of our building alone. She isn't going to leave until they tell her to go and that kinda makes sen...

Pushka · Pushka

Something that has come up in my therapy is the whole I'm a victim mentality Vs being victimized and choosing to take a different route. When I first came to Alanon I definitely felt other people did things to me and looking back I can now see how much power I used to give away on a daily basis. I was able to...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Everyone on here has something to add. I appreciate all of you that comment on my posts. I try to put my two cents in every once in a while. I feel compelled to say something even if it is just a short diddy of some kind. I am just being honest & try to be comical once in a while because life can get too seriou...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My new avatar is just for me and a reminder about open perceptions and how the program works in so many many ways. That little Mo`o or lizard is a Madagascar which have become way to numerous in a short period of time on the east shore of Hawaii island and my village of Hilo. My office is a garden and I tend...

Rose50 · Rose50

If alcoholism is categorized as a disease, then why do we say to fully detach from the alcoholic? One wouldn't abandon a family member that had cancer or diabetes. As an example - my son has a dual diagnosis of alcoholism and depression. Both of his sisters have fully detached and feel I should do the s...

tortuga · tortuga

yesterday i had a minor panic attack due to loneliness that came over me. I have gotten better though, thanks to lessons learned due to meditation. i now know the feeling and the confidence in the fact that storms do pass. It is hard to sit and wait though. But i am learning to trust. So i went out for a walk i...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello MIP Family <3 Sorry its been so Long! I have been Sitting Here Pondering yet another Life Gone to Addictions... Yet Trying to Grasp the Ridicule, and Harsh Slur's from the Judgements in his Death! Tho I Grew up with this Man and Haven't Seen him in Prob. 15yrs, I Still Remember the Man he WAS! But...

deacon · deacon

I wonder if you will ever know what a wonderful thing you are doing in sharing your lives. I know that you come here for caring, compassion, an understanding ear and heart, a thumbs up when you are excited or feel you are moving along and a reminder that we all fail and make mistakes and it is a form of growth...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

Should we all be so fortunate to experience a moment like this. AH is very aware of his addiction. He had reached out last Friday to another recovering member who picked him up (AH was half blitzed already) to go to a meeting. He has continued to drink daily since that meeting. He knows how I feel about his...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Hello everybody, My name is Raven and I'm an addict. I'm addicted to my Alcoholic/Addict Boyfriend. I live in fear and denial of his and my problems. I started thinking that I didn't need 12 steps, because I wasn't the one with the problem. When ABF stopped drinking earlier this year I thought maybe &qu...

Pushka · Pushka

Omgosh .. thank you all sooo much!! One hurdle down and there are probably 5 more to go so this is not the end to say the least and I'm sure that the money stuff is going to be what pushes and pulls him over the edge at this point. I am completely shocked and completely in awe .. now .. why couldn't the...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Tonight one of my alanon groups is celebrating its anniversary. I've never been to an anniversary meeting before, but am really looking forward to it. The timing is perfect too, because it is almost exactly one year since I walked through the doors to my first meeting. My attitude and ways of dealing w...

tortuga · tortuga

So I went back to step 4 again, and found out more interesting things about where my values get hurt. and one thing that I noticed now, that I never noticed before, going back to my lists I wrote down months ago, is that down on the root of my own Self, there is a huge part of loneliness. which I have difficult...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Have not been able to stop him from being in my head/heart. Sorta in a weird stale nothingness. It was strange as I could not really not ask HP to please help me. I asked if it was his will to help me feel better. I was afraid of what/how his help would be. Be careful what you ask for. I prayed day before yester...

Rose50 · Rose50

My son was released from the hospital yesterday and I met up with him in the afternoon. He is so depressed....broke, jobless, difficult living situation. I bought him lunch; spent some time with him and when we parted ways he started to cry. It broke my heart. He had confided in me that he had been thinki...

islandtime · islandtime

Ok, I'm just figuring this all out.....When you all are talking about using your tools, are you meaning using what you learned, by working the steps???? Is there a book or something with specific things to do in different situations?? I need a sponsor to point me in the right direction for sure.

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

This is true I have to keep going forward to my journey to be free healthy and happy . I love Alaon no one exspect nothing from me just pray for me to change and get better. I also belong to a new family of domestic abuse . They welcomed me to there board with acceptance and there's so many ppl on there that are c...

Pushka · Pushka

Everything that is coming to a head at the moment and I've experienced some anxiety and loss of serenity for the most part I've been able to hang on to serenity part of the deal through the storm. Mediation is today and my part is completely done. I am really trying to let go of the outcome and it's not eas...

karma13 · karma13

Greetings I'm going to cross post this in the other forum I'm on so if you see this twice, ignore. Ok I was reading a article about parental enabling..and wondering if those with children, teens or stepchildren might give me some esh? I'm realizing I may be enabling this boy with a few of his behaviors. I...

faith84 · faith84

I stole this from an NA website, although it was written by an addict/alcoholic, for an addict/alcoholic, I thought It was extremely powerful for both the addict/alcoholic AND their loved one. It puts into perspective that we, as the loving family members who are on a consistent and trying journe...

stephaniej · stephaniej

My birthday is coming up, and after YEARS of not doing anything to celebrate it except to stay at home with my AH (if he is in town) and my children, this year I really, really wanted to go out and do something. I still don't know a lot of people or have a large group of friends here, but I reached out to my smal...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I have to say thank you to my husband for all the bad things he did all the harm and that last button he pushed made me hit the bottom of that his job was done to bring me there. We all have a purpose in life and I guess we change by the poor choices and the suffering that goes with it. He sober today his higher powe...

Bettina · Bettina

" Have you ever noticed that great moments of courage & Wisdom come in response to a great problem. Adversity gives us an opportunity to bring out our best." unk

pinkchip · pinkchip

I was reading other posts - not judging but feeling bad and wondering what is the point of staying with someone that treats you like crap? Of course then I had to remember, which I often do, that I have a long history of staying in crappy relationships and that continued all the way up until working the 12 s...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Ugh, A has switched addictions again and I must get my head together and control my anger and dissapointment and keep the focus on myself! When I met him, he was an out of control drunk who would make booty-calls at 3am every night; and, being a newly-single and awfully codependant mum I was just lonely e...

grateful2be · grateful2be

My son will be celebrating his 38th birthday tomorrow. He is two years shy of 40. Mid-life for many of us. He has had severe allergies, breathing problems, was hit by three different vehicles in his teens - a van, a City bus, and finally a truck that sent him flying 30 feet in the air and coming back to t...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, Feeling good today. The disease has raised its head in my extended family my Cousin 27 is in a really bad place due to drink and drugs trying to take his life etc. His dad was visiting my parents he is 65 and my mum shared how my partner had been sober for a year and about me attending al anon. he said h...

oldergal · oldergal

This indeed is a great Board, and it is really a "board". Problems are presented here, they are looked at, brain stormed, analyzed and given the best ESH we have to give. We care and support all. Prayers are always in order. I think I would be lost without the great people here, and still in pai...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning everyone I want to say thank you for your continued support. My hand was held and I could let go let God. I didn't help, I didn't enable. My son did call and I just asked him to call his sponsor, reunite and move forward. I love you son. What the future holds for him I do not know. Your suppor...

amills4294 · amills4294

I've been very remiss in not participating in this board for a long time. I should be going to meetings again but have always found reasons not to lately. For those of you I've "chatted with" - sorry for being gone... for those that I have not met yet welcome and thanks for taking the time to r...

AngryAndScared · AngryAndScared

I apologize in advance. I am EXTREMELY long winded, especially when I'm trying to paint an entire picture. This is everything that contributes to my fear that my husband is an alcoholic or at least is heading in that direction. Do you think he has or is developing a problem, or am I just scared becaus...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am posting this for tomorrow--some of you are already there! I am doing this because on Weds. I can't get on here. I am unable to post on my tablet at this time & I am not complaining. I am just sending a special Hello to all of you in the future. Isn't that crazy? I guess if tomorrow never comes for me, I w...

shanb1970 · shanb1970

My brother is currently gone 5 days drinking straight, hasn't gone to work, hasn't eaten, hasn't showered, is not answering his kids calls......he is holed up in his house...just drinking...this will be the 5th time he has done this....and lost alot, and regained alot...about to lose it all again....

neshema2 · neshema2

We praise and reward our loved ones when they do good or have a breakthrough, so why not do that for me???? I had an U G L Y coda moment where I wrote this letter (deleted and NOT sent---thanks to the ESH'rs who brought me up short---thank you all) And I did not send the letter.........i typed it......hel...

tortuga · tortuga

it had to happen. since a couple of days I'm torn between resentment and anger and melancholy and gratitude. Gratitude is where I would like to end up with, to find my peace. But I feel like I have to climb Mt.Everest...with no oxygen. I'm still doubting if I can do it. for a long time I didn't allow myself...

Grits · Grits

Hope you all can clear this up for me. We live in a rural area and there is not an NA meeting around but there is AA and Al-anon. My daughter started going to AA to deal with her addiction to pain pills and has now been clean for 30 days. She has continued to drink alcohol and it does not seem to be a problem. ...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Does anybody out there have a consolidated list of examples showing the difference between boundaries and walls in relationship to adult children in active stages of alcoholism they can post for us parents? And anybody else who'd like the same info? Thanks, family.

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am a free American last time I checked and entitled to my personal beliefs! Thanks for respecting my beliefs, just like I do yours whether I agree or not that is what makes us who we are and Thank God we are not all the same drone of a human being that can not have our own minds. I love each and every one of you m...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

The reason I felt I had to take a break from the boards for a bit was because I felt like I was always posting about 'him', the AH. I wasn't feeling healthy even though I was working my program. I think these boards became my venting place and I wanted to step away from that and gain some perspective and jus...

Gaby · Gaby

This weekend I went it visit my son in Silver Spring Christian Base Rehab. I got there in good spirits and left in good spirits. He prayed for me and with me. He knows the addiction still effects me. I see my son again.. He tells me mom I know you have access to my money one thing I ask of you is to please find me a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

By Joani Gammill...My wife just got me an early birthday present...two parts; one this book which I want to say if you have it or have read it or don't and haven't...the first 15 pages speak from inside of the addict and alcoholic. Of course she knows...she is a recovering addict; female, mom, RN, wi...

troubledheart · troubledheart

I am really hurt & confused....I made my ex leave last year because of his drug problem. I was to the point of not knowing what to do anymore. I thought & prayed many nights about what I needed to do. So I finally decided that he should move out & maybe he would see just how serious I was. I had to s...

Bettina · Bettina

The Human Spirit is as expansive as the Cosmos. This is why its so tragic to belittle yourself or to question your worth. No matter what happens continue to push back the boundaries of your "Inner Life". Ikeda

tortuga · tortuga

good morning MIP I wanted to share something which I have experienced much and paying attention to over the past 10 years. It is a way of getting to know yourself, learning to listen to your inner voice and trusting your 'gut' as some would name it. It all began over 10 years ago when I entered therapy and...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Anyone know why I can't edit or delete any of my posts? It just says "you don't have permission to do that" if I try to delete, and if I try to edit, it appears to have worked but then the post just reverts to how it was before when i refresh the page. Well, I'll try to edit this one since I just wrote i...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My mom is now transferred to another hospital very close to returning home. I am glad that she is not going to come home too soon. I am nervous about her getting out. I guess because I had a dream about her coming home before I saw her yesterday, I feel a little apprehensive myself. Anyhow, I still feel pret...

grateful2be · grateful2be

At 64, I've gotten to the place in life where I am no longer willing to take on our culture's expectations of me as a Mother. I don't have power over my adult children's choices. I don't have to take on their burdens, their problems, the consequences for their choices. I don't have to blame myself for t...

islandtime · islandtime

I have Courage to Change Was looking at Amazon, thinking about the 12 Step Workbook...or Blueprint for Progress 4th step inventory ???? what books were helpful in working the steps?

islandtime · islandtime

In my case, I'm thinking maybe he's just not worth the effort. Yes I am and will continue to put major work into ME.....BUT I thinking putting any effort into staying together would be a waste of my energy. I think I rode this horse till it died, conuinued to sit on the dead carcus while the bizzards picked...

neshema2 · neshema2

I DID NOT SEND THIS>.....IT IS ON HOLD..>>>THINKING OF SENDING BUT HAVE NOT YET DONE SO>>>>>>>>>>NEED ESH PLEASE I will not reply back.... This is just some decisions for me and it matters not how you take it.......So if you write back, I won't reply...

Lay · Lay

It has been a while since I've been on here. I will have to update soon, but I was reading through different posts one in particular caught my attention, so I am going to share my story. Especially with anyone who may feel defeated. I have different mental health problems starting with borderline perso...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

My father in law has called me the enabeler. This was many months ago when my AH was in detox for a week.( he was sober for 3 mnths after that) Tonight he was half bombed and decided to attend an AA meeting (not sure how to let my mind absorb that yet...waiting to see what tomorrow brings before I begin to get m...

Pushka · Pushka

Kids are off on their social stuff for the weekend .. daughter is excited she has a homecoming dance coming up in Oct. An event apparently that is focused and obsessed upon by all teens now instead of more like a week before it happens .. ROFL. My boy is off having a field day with a friend of his. He got t...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

What an eye-opening weekend so far. In ways I could not have anticipated! Excuse the long rambly story, but I made a decision, on my way home, that rather than come home and get upset with the A all night, I would sit down at my desk and write it out here instead. (I could have just journalled it but I guess I w...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I got another call today from my son's landlord. He wants my son out. I asked him PLEASE call the police. My son was incoherent and could even stand. The landlord told him to drive to the park and sleep it off. I couldn't let my son drive so I called the Police. They were on their way when the landlord call...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good afternoon friends Today I'm excepting the things I can not change and working to change me..one day at a time. My recovery time is much faster so now if I can control my emotions during height of the crisis I will do so much better keeping my heart and mind calm. My fear last night became so bad I got...

neshema2 · neshema2

Well alanoners, this morning, I felt kinda "BLEH!!!" and I was not going to let me wallow in that....so i picked my self up....threw on some shorts, tank top an out to the trampolene, I marched....music in the parlor blasting oldies out the sliding glass door and onto that trampolene......

rehprof · rehprof

Just saw a cartoon...stick figure with MANY word balloons over his head... He was saying "Hello, My name is Mike, and I'm a thinkaholic..." Man, could I relate... RP

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How do I keep my mouth shut?! (Preview) Ok, So I keep going up and down, back and forth between acceptance and pure fury over my situation with my A. Some days I think, OK, I can do this, I can't change him or control him, just let him do his thing and I will do mine. And then a moment later I am back to giving him a lecture on how much he has hurt me, and t...	faith84	12	724	Sep 20, 2013 by faith84
	Powerless (Preview) Last Friday I posted in regards to a few vows that I wanted to work on. It is amazing once you FINALLY reach the point of understanding that you really are powerless to their addiction, and that the only thing that can be changed is ourselves and our attitudes. I have been attempting to get to this poin...	faith84	4	353	Sep 20, 2013 by faith84
	What was I thinking.... I wasn't thinking! (Preview) I'm not sure how it happened. I visited my coworker at her cubicle today because she's the only left of her team after downsizing. She sits in a big room of empty offices and empty cubicles on the other side of our building alone. She isn't going to leave until they tell her to go and that kinda makes sen...	tiredtonite	11	444	Sep 20, 2013 by grateful2be
	Victim Vs Being Victimized (Preview) Something that has come up in my therapy is the whole I'm a victim mentality Vs being victimized and choosing to take a different route. When I first came to Alanon I definitely felt other people did things to me and looking back I can now see how much power I used to give away on a daily basis. I was able to...	Pushka	6	1119	Sep 20, 2013 by Jerry F
	I agree about all the posters(not the carboard kind) (Preview) Everyone on here has something to add. I appreciate all of you that comment on my posts. I try to put my two cents in every once in a while. I feel compelled to say something even if it is just a short diddy of some kind. I am just being honest & try to be comical once in a while because life can get too seriou...	Hoot Nanny	1	308	Sep 20, 2013 by Jerry F
	Mo`o metaphor... (Preview) My new avatar is just for me and a reminder about open perceptions and how the program works in so many many ways. That little Mo`o or lizard is a Madagascar which have become way to numerous in a short period of time on the east shore of Hawaii island and my village of Hilo. My office is a garden and I tend...	Jerry F	10	575	Sep 20, 2013 by bud
	If alcoholism is a disease... (Preview) If alcoholism is categorized as a disease, then why do we say to fully detach from the alcoholic? One wouldn't abandon a family member that had cancer or diabetes. As an example - my son has a dual diagnosis of alcoholism and depression. Both of his sisters have fully detached and feel I should do the s...	Rose50	10	596	Sep 20, 2013 by Mimi3
	new ways, maybe into change! (Preview) yesterday i had a minor panic attack due to loneliness that came over me. I have gotten better though, thanks to lessons learned due to meditation. i now know the feeling and the confidence in the fact that storms do pass. It is hard to sit and wait though. But i am learning to trust. So i went out for a walk i...	tortuga	4	325	Sep 19, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Mean Spirits & How to Deal..... (Preview) Hello MIP Family <3 Sorry its been so Long! I have been Sitting Here Pondering yet another Life Gone to Addictions... Yet Trying to Grasp the Ridicule, and Harsh Slur's from the Judgements in his Death! Tho I Grew up with this Man and Haven't Seen him in Prob. 15yrs, I Still Remember the Man he WAS! But...	Jozie	6	581	Sep 19, 2013 by afglin
	A thanks for those who post here regularly (Preview) I wonder if you will ever know what a wonderful thing you are doing in sharing your lives. I know that you come here for caring, compassion, an understanding ear and heart, a thumbs up when you are excited or feel you are moving along and a reminder that we all fail and make mistakes and it is a form of growth...	deacon	7	422	Sep 19, 2013 by Mari1978
	A moment of gratefulness (Preview) Should we all be so fortunate to experience a moment like this. AH is very aware of his addiction. He had reached out last Friday to another recovering member who picked him up (AH was half blitzed already) to go to a meeting. He has continued to drink daily since that meeting. He knows how I feel about his...	Mari1978	5	254	Sep 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	Addicted to an Addict (Preview) Hello everybody, My name is Raven and I'm an addict. I'm addicted to my Alcoholic/Addict Boyfriend. I live in fear and denial of his and my problems. I started thinking that I didn't need 12 steps, because I wasn't the one with the problem. When ABF stopped drinking earlier this year I thought maybe &qu...	Raven Juniper	10	474	Sep 19, 2013 by Indeed
	THANK YOU!!!! :) (Preview) Omgosh .. thank you all sooo much!! One hurdle down and there are probably 5 more to go so this is not the end to say the least and I'm sure that the money stuff is going to be what pushes and pulls him over the edge at this point. I am completely shocked and completely in awe .. now .. why couldn't the...	Pushka	8	385	Sep 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	An Anniversary (Preview) Tonight one of my alanon groups is celebrating its anniversary. I've never been to an anniversary meeting before, but am really looking forward to it. The timing is perfect too, because it is almost exactly one year since I walked through the doors to my first meeting. My attitude and ways of dealing w...	ParisMemories	6	317	Sep 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	loneliness-a constant co-dep companion??! (Preview) So I went back to step 4 again, and found out more interesting things about where my values get hurt. and one thing that I noticed now, that I never noticed before, going back to my lists I wrote down months ago, is that down on the root of my own Self, there is a huge part of loneliness. which I have difficult...	tortuga	3	2573	Sep 19, 2013 by tortuga
	Have finally hit bottom/desperate for thoughts (Preview) Have not been able to stop him from being in my head/heart. Sorta in a weird stale nothingness. It was strange as I could not really not ask HP to please help me. I asked if it was his will to help me feel better. I was afraid of what/how his help would be. Be careful what you ask for. I prayed day before yester...	Debilyn	16	665	Sep 19, 2013 by pinkchip
	Don't know how much more I can take (Preview) My son was released from the hospital yesterday and I met up with him in the afternoon. He is so depressed....broke, jobless, difficult living situation. I bought him lunch; spent some time with him and when we parted ways he started to cry. It broke my heart. He had confided in me that he had been thinki...	Rose50	9	430	Sep 18, 2013 by bud
	using the tools???? I'm confused (Preview) Ok, I'm just figuring this all out.....When you all are talking about using your tools, are you meaning using what you learned, by working the steps???? Is there a book or something with specific things to do in different situations?? I need a sponsor to point me in the right direction for sure.	islandtime	7	778	Sep 18, 2013 by neshema2
	Blessed with 2 new family's Alaon & (Preview) This is true I have to keep going forward to my journey to be free healthy and happy . I love Alaon no one exspect nothing from me just pray for me to change and get better. I also belong to a new family of domestic abuse . They welcomed me to there board with acceptance and there's so many ppl on there that are c...	Ms co-dependent	3	397	Sep 18, 2013 by hotrod
	Many light bulb moments :) (Preview) Everything that is coming to a head at the moment and I've experienced some anxiety and loss of serenity for the most part I've been able to hang on to serenity part of the deal through the storm. Mediation is today and my part is completely done. I am really trying to let go of the outcome and it's not eas...	Pushka	3	345	Sep 18, 2013 by ParisMemories
	Need some esh~ teenager situation (Preview) Greetings I'm going to cross post this in the other forum I'm on so if you see this twice, ignore. Ok I was reading a article about parental enabling..and wondering if those with children, teens or stepchildren might give me some esh? I'm realizing I may be enabling this boy with a few of his behaviors. I...	karma13	21	512	Sep 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	Addict in a Hole (Preview) I stole this from an NA website, although it was written by an addict/alcoholic, for an addict/alcoholic, I thought It was extremely powerful for both the addict/alcoholic AND their loved one. It puts into perspective that we, as the loving family members who are on a consistent and trying journe...	faith84	3	568	Sep 18, 2013 by tortuga
	Oooo, I've run up against a codependency trigger... (Preview) My birthday is coming up, and after YEARS of not doing anything to celebrate it except to stay at home with my AH (if he is in town) and my children, this year I really, really wanted to go out and do something. I still don't know a lot of people or have a large group of friends here, but I reached out to my smal...	stephaniej	5	309	Sep 18, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Hitting rock bottom is good (Preview) I have to say thank you to my husband for all the bad things he did all the harm and that last button he pushed made me hit the bottom of that his job was done to bring me there. We all have a purpose in life and I guess we change by the poor choices and the suffering that goes with it. He sober today his higher powe...	Ms co-dependent	9	527	Sep 18, 2013 by hotrod
	Adversity is an Opportunity (Preview) " Have you ever noticed that great moments of courage & Wisdom come in response to a great problem. Adversity gives us an opportunity to bring out our best." unk	Bettina	2	201	Sep 18, 2013 by PP
	Why did I stay with someone that treated me like crap? (Preview) I was reading other posts - not judging but feeling bad and wondering what is the point of staying with someone that treats you like crap? Of course then I had to remember, which I often do, that I have a long history of staying in crappy relationships and that continued all the way up until working the 12 s...	pinkchip	25	794	Sep 18, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	A long rant that contains the word "HE" a lot. (Preview) Ugh, A has switched addictions again and I must get my head together and control my anger and dissapointment and keep the focus on myself! When I met him, he was an out of control drunk who would make booty-calls at 3am every night; and, being a newly-single and awfully codependant mum I was just lonely e...	Melly1248	9	548	Sep 18, 2013 by hisimage
	My son and my vain imaginings (Preview) My son will be celebrating his 38th birthday tomorrow. He is two years shy of 40. Mid-life for many of us. He has had severe allergies, breathing problems, was hit by three different vehicles in his teens - a van, a City bus, and finally a truck that sent him flying 30 feet in the air and coming back to t...	grateful2be	13	2897	Sep 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	healthy support (Preview) Hi All, Feeling good today. The disease has raised its head in my extended family my Cousin 27 is in a really bad place due to drink and drugs trying to take his life etc. His dad was visiting my parents he is 65 and my mum shared how my partner had been sober for a year and about me attending al anon. he said h...	Tracy	3	170	Sep 18, 2013 by hotrod
	THE BOARD (Preview) This indeed is a great Board, and it is really a "board". Problems are presented here, they are looked at, brain stormed, analyzed and given the best ESH we have to give. We care and support all. Prayers are always in order. I think I would be lost without the great people here, and still in pai...	oldergal	7	360	Sep 18, 2013 by hotrod
	My HP was with me and so was MIP (Preview) Good Morning everyone I want to say thank you for your continued support. My hand was held and I could let go let God. I didn't help, I didn't enable. My son did call and I just asked him to call his sponsor, reunite and move forward. I love you son. What the future holds for him I do not know. Your suppor...	Cathyinaz	12	662	Sep 18, 2013 by hotrod
	Alcoholic Mom admitted to hospital (Preview) I've been very remiss in not participating in this board for a long time. I should be going to meetings again but have always found reasons not to lately. For those of you I've "chatted with" - sorry for being gone... for those that I have not met yet welcome and thanks for taking the time to r...	amills4294	7	383	Sep 18, 2013 by neshema2
	Is my husband (becoming) an alcoholic? (Very long.) (Preview) I apologize in advance. I am EXTREMELY long winded, especially when I'm trying to paint an entire picture. This is everything that contributes to my fear that my husband is an alcoholic or at least is heading in that direction. Do you think he has or is developing a problem, or am I just scared becaus...	AngryAndScared	6	491	Sep 18, 2013 by neshema2
	one for tomorrow (Preview) I am posting this for tomorrow--some of you are already there! I am doing this because on Weds. I can't get on here. I am unable to post on my tablet at this time & I am not complaining. I am just sending a special Hello to all of you in the future. Isn't that crazy? I guess if tomorrow never comes for me, I w...	Hoot Nanny	1	185	Sep 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	What should I do? (Preview) My brother is currently gone 5 days drinking straight, hasn't gone to work, hasn't eaten, hasn't showered, is not answering his kids calls......he is holed up in his house...just drinking...this will be the 5th time he has done this....and lost alot, and regained alot...about to lose it all again....	shanb1970	19	493	Sep 18, 2013 by shanb1970
	Giving my adult self a reward for overcoming (Preview) We praise and reward our loved ones when they do good or have a breakthrough, so why not do that for me???? I had an U G L Y coda moment where I wrote this letter (deleted and NOT sent---thanks to the ESH'rs who brought me up short---thank you all) And I did not send the letter.........i typed it......hel...	neshema2	9	334	Sep 17, 2013 by neshema2
	working through resentment towards gratitude: an odyssey!!! (Preview) it had to happen. since a couple of days I'm torn between resentment and anger and melancholy and gratitude. Gratitude is where I would like to end up with, to find my peace. But I feel like I have to climb Mt.Everest...with no oxygen. I'm still doubting if I can do it. for a long time I didn't allow myself...	tortuga	5	278	Sep 17, 2013 by el-cee
	Can you be an addict and not an alcoholic? (Preview) Hope you all can clear this up for me. We live in a rural area and there is not an NA meeting around but there is AA and Al-anon. My daughter started going to AA to deal with her addiction to pain pills and has now been clean for 30 days. She has continued to drink alcohol and it does not seem to be a problem. ...	Grits	6	428	Sep 17, 2013 by Grits
	Walls vs boundaries in relationship to adult children in active stages of alcoholsim? (Preview) Does anybody out there have a consolidated list of examples showing the difference between boundaries and walls in relationship to adult children in active stages of alcoholism they can post for us parents? And anybody else who'd like the same info? Thanks, family.	grateful2be	14	787	Sep 17, 2013 by Melly1248
	Am I being reactionary? I want to put this on my fb status? (Preview) I am a free American last time I checked and entitled to my personal beliefs! Thanks for respecting my beliefs, just like I do yours whether I agree or not that is what makes us who we are and Thank God we are not all the same drone of a human being that can not have our own minds. I love each and every one of you m...	Breakingfree	24	842	Sep 17, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	I'm back, looking for perspective (Preview) The reason I felt I had to take a break from the boards for a bit was because I felt like I was always posting about 'him', the AH. I wasn't feeling healthy even though I was working my program. I think these boards became my venting place and I wanted to step away from that and gain some perspective and jus...	ilovedogs	24	610	Sep 17, 2013 by ilovedogs
	A great visit with my son :) (Preview) This weekend I went it visit my son in Silver Spring Christian Base Rehab. I got there in good spirits and left in good spirits. He prayed for me and with me. He knows the addiction still effects me. I see my son again.. He tells me mom I know you have access to my money one thing I ask of you is to please find me a...	Gaby	6	320	Sep 17, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	The interventionist (Preview) By Joani Gammill...My wife just got me an early birthday present...two parts; one this book which I want to say if you have it or have read it or don't and haven't...the first 15 pages speak from inside of the addict and alcoholic. Of course she knows...she is a recovering addict; female, mom, RN, wi...	Jerry F	2	231	Sep 17, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	hurt & confused (Preview) I am really hurt & confused....I made my ex leave last year because of his drug problem. I was to the point of not knowing what to do anymore. I thought & prayed many nights about what I needed to do. So I finally decided that he should move out & maybe he would see just how serious I was. I had to s...	troubledheart	7	396	Sep 17, 2013 by troubledheart
	Perspective! (Preview) The Human Spirit is as expansive as the Cosmos. This is why its so tragic to belittle yourself or to question your worth. No matter what happens continue to push back the boundaries of your "Inner Life". Ikeda	Bettina	2	153	Sep 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	my experience with power of dreams (Preview) good morning MIP I wanted to share something which I have experienced much and paying attention to over the past 10 years. It is a way of getting to know yourself, learning to listen to your inner voice and trusting your 'gut' as some would name it. It all began over 10 years ago when I entered therapy and...	tortuga	4	424	Sep 17, 2013 by Melly1248
	edit/delete? (Preview) Anyone know why I can't edit or delete any of my posts? It just says "you don't have permission to do that" if I try to delete, and if I try to edit, it appears to have worked but then the post just reverts to how it was before when i refresh the page. Well, I'll try to edit this one since I just wrote i...	Melly1248	4	257	Sep 17, 2013 by Melly1248
	just a few minutes to reflect (Preview) My mom is now transferred to another hospital very close to returning home. I am glad that she is not going to come home too soon. I am nervous about her getting out. I guess because I had a dream about her coming home before I saw her yesterday, I feel a little apprehensive myself. Anyhow, I still feel pret...	Hoot Nanny	1	110	Sep 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Mothers (Preview) At 64, I've gotten to the place in life where I am no longer willing to take on our culture's expectations of me as a Mother. I don't have power over my adult children's choices. I don't have to take on their burdens, their problems, the consequences for their choices. I don't have to blame myself for t...	grateful2be	25	598	Sep 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Book suggestions anyone?? (Preview) I have Courage to Change Was looking at Amazon, thinking about the 12 Step Workbook...or Blueprint for Progress 4th step inventory ???? what books were helpful in working the steps?	islandtime	5	322	Sep 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	maybe he's just not worth it (Preview) In my case, I'm thinking maybe he's just not worth the effort. Yes I am and will continue to put major work into ME.....BUT I thinking putting any effort into staying together would be a waste of my energy. I think I rode this horse till it died, conuinued to sit on the dead carcus while the bizzards picked...	islandtime	7	434	Sep 16, 2013 by RunnerChick
	OFF TOPIC...Thinking of sending this to abusive sister (Preview) I DID NOT SEND THIS>.....IT IS ON HOLD..>>>THINKING OF SENDING BUT HAVE NOT YET DONE SO>>>>>>>>>>NEED ESH PLEASE I will not reply back.... This is just some decisions for me and it matters not how you take it.......So if you write back, I won't reply...	neshema2	10	275	Sep 16, 2013 by PP
	Opening my heart (Preview) It has been a while since I've been on here. I will have to update soon, but I was reading through different posts one in particular caught my attention, so I am going to share my story. Especially with anyone who may feel defeated. I have different mental health problems starting with borderline perso...	Lay	4	264	Sep 16, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	Enabling? (Preview) My father in law has called me the enabeler. This was many months ago when my AH was in detox for a week.( he was sober for 3 mnths after that) Tonight he was half bombed and decided to attend an AA meeting (not sure how to let my mind absorb that yet...waiting to see what tomorrow brings before I begin to get m...	Mari1978	11	539	Sep 16, 2013 by Mari1978
	Weekend :) (Preview) Kids are off on their social stuff for the weekend .. daughter is excited she has a homecoming dance coming up in Oct. An event apparently that is focused and obsessed upon by all teens now instead of more like a week before it happens .. ROFL. My boy is off having a field day with a friend of his. He got t...	Pushka	3	289	Sep 16, 2013 by Pushka
	Everyone is crazy except for me! (Preview) What an eye-opening weekend so far. In ways I could not have anticipated! Excuse the long rambly story, but I made a decision, on my way home, that rather than come home and get upset with the A all night, I would sit down at my desk and write it out here instead. (I could have just journalled it but I guess I w...	Melly1248	7	406	Sep 16, 2013 by faith84
	My son (Preview) I got another call today from my son's landlord. He wants my son out. I asked him PLEASE call the police. My son was incoherent and could even stand. The landlord told him to drive to the park and sleep it off. I couldn't let my son drive so I called the Police. They were on their way when the landlord call...	Cathyinaz	18	488	Sep 16, 2013 by hisimage
	I'm dong better today (Preview) Good afternoon friends Today I'm excepting the things I can not change and working to change me..one day at a time. My recovery time is much faster so now if I can control my emotions during height of the crisis I will do so much better keeping my heart and mind calm. My fear last night became so bad I got...	Cathyinaz	13	482	Sep 16, 2013 by AngelicH57
	I honestly don't feel any rancor (Preview) Well alanoners, this morning, I felt kinda "BLEH!!!" and I was not going to let me wallow in that....so i picked my self up....threw on some shorts, tank top an out to the trampolene, I marched....music in the parlor blasting oldies out the sliding glass door and onto that trampolene......	neshema2	12	767	Sep 16, 2013 by tiredtonite
	A bit of an epiphany (Preview) Just saw a cartoon...stick figure with MANY word balloons over his head... He was saying "Hello, My name is Mike, and I'm a thinkaholic..." Man, could I relate... RP	rehprof	6	317	Sep 16, 2013 by lgnutah
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