Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi All I have never ever went away by myself on a holiday. But this year I'm going to go see my sister in CA for Thanksgiving. Leaving my SO and my son alone to fend for themselves. I'm feeling bad about it but why should I. I have spent so many Thanksgivings either without them or drunk or mad or whatever...

el-cee · el-cee

I have missed a couple of meetings lately. It is not like me at all. Its the horrible wintery nights drawing in though. I get in from work and I want to stay in the house and argue with myself for a while and then Its too late anyway. I need to get my mojo back and get moving. Thanks for listening.

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Because she has been having a lot of behavioral problems at school and at her afterschool program. While I am in school I obviously haven't been able to give her what she needs. I feel terrible about this, but think it may be the best for her. He is not drinking and is a great dad, he only works until 4 pm and h...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

I can see a little more clearly today. I was angry for a short time on Sunday. Stared at the A while he spoke gibberish and the whole time I don't think I heard one word he actually said.My mind was busy picking up some of my tools and planning. Funny part was most of the planning was already there. I had sa...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Time is running out today. I am so frustrated because my mom is home & she is still not herself yet! I don't know is she ever will be. She has been in two hospitals for over 2 mos. I am expecting & I probably shouldn't her to recover from this hopeless mind & body situation! I guess I am a pessimis...

Rose50 · Rose50

After 6 months of unemployment, I have finally landed a job! Today was my first day and I am tired but certainly not complaining. Boy do I need this to keep me busy and my mind occupied.

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Oh, just lol. After mentioning on Raven's post that I'd go to bed and focus on making a gratitude list instead of thinking angry thoughts about the A, I did so. My list went something like this. 1) I'm grateful that the A got angry and locked himself in his own room because he's snoring so loudly the walls a...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

Remember me? I haven't posted for a little while but I've been reading and kerping up with everyone. Need some MIP clarity. I left the AH a year ago in August. This August was looming large for him because he knew I was going to file for divorce the day I could. He was ordered in July to install an ignition lo...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Having co-dependency means that, at some point, I completely lost myself in another person - a person that happened to be an alcoholic. That means that for that entire decade there was a whirlwind of chaos, emotional breaking, depression, and anxiety. I had no boundaries. I said I wouldn't accept...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Here is a relaxation track I found that is much more soothing than listening to the A shout and bang things around when he is drunk. I hope it helps others as much as it has helped me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e59guruVL4o

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Blessed Sunday everyone I'm sitting here right now looking at my SO asleep on the chair. Yesterday he slept all day and now today he will. He doesn't help around here just works, eats and sleeps. I'm so ready to move on and I want so bad to just wake him up and tell him but I know it's not a good time. I'm not...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am still in pain but i want to catch up w/ and to all of you! Up to speed: I had 2 massages last week & discovered it is massage therapy & somewhat painful but it is helping! I haven't been back to the chiropractor since I last posted. Don't plan to either. My husband puts a special salve I guess on my...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Today when I woke up, I immediately began to feel angry. I was angry because I slept late, and I had things I wanted to do, things I Had To Do, and it's my day off, and I'm already not enjoying it. I felt stressed, since ABF was getting drunk and high all last night, and I could hear him banging around in the kit...

Grumble · Grumble

MY ACOA double winner BF - clean for 12 years, works the program - has just had a complete shutdown.i We had a great relationship, had a fight and he shut down, asked for space, I had issues giving it to him and we argued, I pushed him to dump me. He said he doesn't know what happened but he doesn't feel the s...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning 4 days my son has been out of rehab. Text him to say HI and how his new place was. Called got voice mail..... No response for two days. OH WELL Let go Let God........

Mari1978 · Mari1978

My current avatar reminds me that sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a corn field. I have 2 choices. I can panic or use the brain I have been given to calmly assess the situation and decide to save my energy to finding my way out. After wandering around for a lengthy period of time I become tired and frustra...

Gaby · Gaby

So my son is talking to his baby's momma and I feel nothing but tension between he and I.. This past Sunday he has made me feel horrible. He says he us stressed out. Well gosh knows what she is saying to him because he doesn't open up to me. When I call him I feel like nothing but his punching bag. As a mother I wo...

bud · bud

This past Wednesday, my Dad told me that he may go to a step down unit on Thursday. He is exhausted from lack of sleep that comes with the territory of being in a hospital- that -combined with his stroke affected speech - truly limits how he can express himself. I told him that it was a real treat for me to h...

safehaven · safehaven

Hi. I am new to this board. Fairly new to learning about alcoholism and all that surrounds it. While I had an uncle and an older brother who were both alcoholic, I wasn't around either before they cleaned themselves up. The uncle has passed and my brother and I are almost twenty years apart so we were neve...

hotrod · hotrod

I have found this to be so true

Milehi-tlc · Milehi-tlc

So as many of you probably remember my AH filed for divorce in July. Through alanon I detached because really I had no other choice. Seems my detachment escalated his disease and the verbal abuse and anger was off the charts. I do believe my HP took the controls out of my hand because I struggled for y...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Does anyone know how I can find a list of meetings in my area? I have left 3 messages for the Rochester NY al Anon group and emailed a few times and nothing back. I looked around online but it keeps taking my back to their phone and email address. All I want is to find a face to face ad getting a little nervous...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi everyone, AH has been gone in St Thomas for his sales incentive trip for the past week. I chose not to go for many reasons, including the fact that my mom couldn't fly out to watch our son. Anyway, I am nervous about his homecoming. It's been such a peaceful week, the TV has barely been on, we got lots o...

stilllearning · stilllearning

Hello everyone just wanted to see what others have done with nightmares. I have been pretty freaked out by some lately. Tried telling myself I am ok... but it seemed so real...(freaked me out bad enough could go back to sleep last night) and the feelings have hung with me all day. Any ideas, techniques...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Everything was going so well. Then I slipped back into my old ways. I snooped, looking for things I already knew but didn't want to find. I snapped and started an argument. After months of doing so well, there we were right back in our old roles. I was screaming, he was threatening to go to a bar. Fortunate...

likemyheart · likemyheart

THE SHOEBOX A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her abou...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I must say I am glad I'm reading and learning how to stay out of the way of things that can take me off my way to recovery . I have seen a post that was sent to me enormously and it's quite upsetting knowing that my A is telling false truth. He not being honest at all .and I can see how ppl have to look at it and respo...

neshema2 · neshema2

Being agnostic about creator's involvement in my life has caused me much sorrow...like i was missing something...robbed of it and , i know, it goes waaay back to as a child when the abuser would tell me he was "doing this to me b/c *god* told him to teach me about sex"that wasn't the biginning...

Gaby · Gaby

Hello every one. As I have shared my son has been home after being in a Christian base rehab going on 5 1/2 months completely clean from all and working his program. He has a job now that he truly enjoys and I have to admit he has been doing really good. He and a female roommate live in our rental just a few hous...

Dawn14 · Dawn14

This is my first post here. i am living with an AH and I am miserable. We been having marital problems for almost 2 years. Tried counseling, only made it worse. I have tried to leave twice. Both times I get the "I will change, my family is so important to me. Or even worse he threatens to kill himself an...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi y'all. Today my new therapist pointed out that I had a lot of perfectionism. (I told her I want the truth). I agree. Then I opened up Courage To Change and whaddya know! It said that we develop perfectionism to cope with blame and criticism growing up. As many of you know my situation with the famil...

swood31 · swood31

I love my husband so much & i fear for his life. He's drinking 12-14 or more shots of vodka per night plus beer and now I've also been finding canned air duster cans everywhere. A couple months ago I found him passed out in his car with it running & a bottle of canned air in his hand. I'm so afraid t...

KiaOra · KiaOra

Hi all, I'm new to this site and pretty new to al-anon. My boyfriend is my qualifier, and when he drinks, he tends to injure himself, sometimes pretty severely. It's never been to the point of having to go to the emergency room (at least not since I have known him) but enough that he is visibly in a lot of p...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Good morning . Well afternoon since the days are all the same to me . I find Sunday is the only day I can remember I think it's because that's when the crazyness starts. But today my plans my goal is to replace my bad Sunday with good Sunday . I find that's when I'm totally confused and scared because it's mee...

John · John

This post is for both newcomers and oldtimers. I want all newcomers to know that although you might not see or feel it right now, things will get better. You are in the process of getting better yourself. Stay close, to us here, get to as many face to face meetings as you can in your community, try to fin...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi everyone Thursday went good without fear. I picked up my son and we went to the place where he would stay. He like it and signed up to live there. It's close to the rehab where he still can go back to for meetings, counseling and support he needs. If that happens only God knows. This place is a transi...

Bobbi · Bobbi

Well ha ha joke is on me. I thought I had messed up the other. Boy was I ever wrong. I mean, I was pretty rude but I no longer care about that. Today was an eventful day. Went to a birthday party for my best friend. Husband got extremely intoxicated. A different friend drove us home. Husband left a card for...

richard · richard

It has been a very long time since I last visited this board. My life is like no other. My life is a bit different than most. Please give me the benefit of doubt until you get to know me some. Right now I so would like to be rid of some guilt. I born into a family that was going to have four boys and three girl...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I've a feeling everybody is happy and going on with their life, except me. My a/a daugther is not answering her door, her phone and is off face book for about a week. Her brother said she is alright where ever she is, her adult son said he was tired of trying to check up on her and let his other brother go b...

kickstart77 · kickstart77

So I'm new, and I don't know any of you. Last weekend, my ex-husband told me his girlfriend was moving out, and he cried and cried. He finally realized the damage his drinking has done to those he loves the most. Thankfully, he drinks alone or at home when the children are asleep and stays sober at work (I t...

1976love · 1976love

Hi everyone! Long time no talk but I'm back with a serious problem. I have been doing me and have become very detached with my AH. However in this progressive disease he now started driving drunk. I will never drive him anywhere, any grown man is capable of driving themselve (not if your drunk, but n...

Lyne · Lyne

So I have been distant since my A drank and drove 10 days ago. But I have not been depressed or anxious or any of the old stuff. Tonight I asked her if she could let me know what she is learning in her meetings that she is applying to herself for change? She's been going since May. Well, she got very angry a...

neshema2 · neshema2

My A brother is a very "high end" marine engineer on electronic devices....those big electronic things u see on coast guard ships, the noaa weather ships, and huge big boats on the NE sea coast were either installed or refurbished by my brother....he has been an electronic engineer for 3...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Woke up today, with this tingling right hand again (pregnancy woes.) I layed in bed a while and prayed and accepted complete surrender to my HP. I asked for guidance and for my HP's will for me. My idea for the day is to stay positive, when that positivity wants to shift to its default mode, negative th...

Zabi · Zabi

I have only joined this forum a day ago yet I now feel right at home free to talk about my experience strength and hope , good bad or indifferent. I don't have to be perfect just real open and honest . The language of the heart can be sad, mad, and glad and most of all honest.

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Well they say no news is good news that's not always the truth. I find that to be the calm before the storm. Today I woke up early and looked forward to starting my step work. Things have been on edge here at home . To many dr appt to much time to sit and see how things went wrong and I have no part in it . But the co d...

PP · PP

The last few weeks have been difficult for me. Friendships have been strained, family relationships have been tested and my relationship with me has been stretched...all the while I have been hanging on like a barnacle. In the midst of the turmoil I found a laminated prescription of Bill Smith's t...

Sab I · Sab I

try so hard to let go of resentment, love the good stuff I learn in recovery yet my mind refuses to let go of crap that keeps me sick I get so sick of my sick mind going over and over negative crap. The positive stuff floats off and the negative stuff seems to be on default setting. God knows I try .

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIP Family...bringing it here; the hindsight inventory of alcoholism in my life including my eldest relapsing son. It is what is is and was what it was and I didn't have near enough information and awareness as I have today about it. As I have said; which is true, when I got into program I was as...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I have not been on this site in a very long time. I am currently nine months pregnant and playing the waiting game... which means maternity leave has begun but the baby is stubbornly not arriving yet. I am quite uncomfortable and all the time on my hands gets me a little crazy. This is why its so importa...

Lizabelle123 · Lizabelle123

I've been a member long enough to know that my husbands drinking is not my fault so I don't need anyone here to point this out to me when I ask this question. I do feel as though the stress of my relationship and the way I've treated him since we've been together (yeah, I'm not an easy person to get a long with...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

My A found last night my meeting for Wed at 7:30 nights highlighted. No biggy, I am not hiding this so it was on the table under our bills. He JUST text me and said he noticed there was an AA meeting at the church too, same time. He asked if I go next Wed would it be ok to go to the AA meeting while I go to my mee...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well, I mentioned that on Wednesday (which was yesterday here, because I'm from the future

), I was planning to head into town, go to a guided meditation and meet with my mum. My daughter had the day off (yes, welcome to Australia where children get days off for important horse-racing events) and I r...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

ABF went on a bender last night. Getting home from work, I could smell the beer and cigarette dive smell before I even opened the door. I went into the bedroom and shut the door, trying to get away from the bar scene stench and his slurred speech. I'd just changed into my fuzzy pajamas and was just about to...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Hello friends AH is doing so well, we are both working our programs. But life continues on, unexpected bills arrive, pressure at my job seems to keep coming. I was feeling angry and disappointed. I thought once my husband stopped drinking life would be perfect. Ha! As I pushed my cart through th...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Your love and support; your ESH and gratitudes are the other side of what I feel and yet I cannot walk in a crowd and continue to go my own way. You lead me...I will follow and I will let you support me cause I cannot support myself for the moment and then why am I here? Because I cannot do this myself and my H...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi-I've been telling my sister how much alanon is helping me and she wanted to know what it was helping me with. Her spouse has two addictions and she is suffering as I was. Because it was in a text, I had to keep it short. I told her that alanon is teaching me not to be destroyed when my spouse is destructi...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Hi all - I hope everyone is happy today!I am doing pretty good with a lot of things, BUT the detaching part, holy cow. How in the heck did you all learn this? I can detach, but it is effecting my feelings big time, sex drive, everything. I am still reading my material, getting therapy and learning but ho...

qwerty49 · qwerty49

So I finally managed to work out how to block calls and texts from my Alcoholic mum. The final straw was when she said she had the flu and was in bed, she said the doctor had taken blood but she wasn't sure why. My mum is late stages alcoholic liver disease but still drinking. I went into a state of panic and ra...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Does the pain of loving someone addicted to alcohol ever leave you? My husband of nearly 40 years died in August 2011. Although I was sad, I have to admit it was also a relief. To say he had put me and our two children through hell is an understatement. 2 and a bit years later everyone assumes you must be OK - t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I feel bad but I don't care (Preview) Hi All I have never ever went away by myself on a holiday. But this year I'm going to go see my sister in CA for Thanksgiving. Leaving my SO and my son alone to fend for themselves. I'm feeling bad about it but why should I. I have spent so many Thanksgivings either without them or drunk or mad or whatever...	Cathyinaz	14	602	Oct 30, 2013 by Ness
	Need my meetings (Preview) I have missed a couple of meetings lately. It is not like me at all. Its the horrible wintery nights drawing in though. I get in from work and I want to stay in the house and argue with myself for a while and then Its too late anyway. I need to get my mojo back and get moving. Thanks for listening.	el-cee	6	312	Oct 30, 2013 by Lyne
	I am debating on letting my 5 year old live with her dad..... (Preview) Because she has been having a lot of behavioral problems at school and at her afterschool program. While I am in school I obviously haven't been able to give her what she needs. I feel terrible about this, but think it may be the best for her. He is not drinking and is a great dad, he only works until 4 pm and h...	Breakingfree	23	588	Oct 30, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Closer to serenity..I can feel it (Preview) I can see a little more clearly today. I was angry for a short time on Sunday. Stared at the A while he spoke gibberish and the whole time I don't think I heard one word he actually said.My mind was busy picking up some of my tools and planning. Funny part was most of the planning was already there. I had sa...	Mari1978	8	370	Oct 30, 2013 by Mari1978
	time is a wasting, mom is home needs more recovery time! (Preview) Time is running out today. I am so frustrated because my mom is home & she is still not herself yet! I don't know is she ever will be. She has been in two hospitals for over 2 mos. I am expecting & I probably shouldn't her to recover from this hopeless mind & body situation! I guess I am a pessimis...	Hoot Nanny	2	217	Oct 30, 2013 by hotrod
	I am working again (Preview) After 6 months of unemployment, I have finally landed a job! Today was my first day and I am tired but certainly not complaining. Boy do I need this to keep me busy and my mind occupied.	Rose50	8	207	Oct 30, 2013 by bud
	Horrid dream. (Preview) Oh, just lol. After mentioning on Raven's post that I'd go to bed and focus on making a gratitude list instead of thinking angry thoughts about the A, I did so. My list went something like this. 1) I'm grateful that the A got angry and locked himself in his own room because he's snoring so loudly the walls a...	Melly1248	4	316	Oct 30, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Don't Understand the Timing (Preview) Remember me? I haven't posted for a little while but I've been reading and kerping up with everyone. Need some MIP clarity. I left the AH a year ago in August. This August was looming large for him because he knew I was going to file for divorce the day I could. He was ordered in July to install an ignition lo...	wornoutmrsfixit	9	473	Oct 30, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Personal growth (Preview) Having co-dependency means that, at some point, I completely lost myself in another person - a person that happened to be an alcoholic. That means that for that entire decade there was a whirlwind of chaos, emotional breaking, depression, and anxiety. I had no boundaries. I said I wouldn't accept...	SpiderArcana	9	625	Oct 29, 2013 by SpiderArcana
	Relaxation music (Preview) Here is a relaxation track I found that is much more soothing than listening to the A shout and bang things around when he is drunk. I hope it helps others as much as it has helped me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e59guruVL4o	Melly1248	5	361	Oct 29, 2013 by Melly1248
	Am I ready or not (Preview) Blessed Sunday everyone I'm sitting here right now looking at my SO asleep on the chair. Yesterday he slept all day and now today he will. He doesn't help around here just works, eats and sleeps. I'm so ready to move on and I want so bad to just wake him up and tell him but I know it's not a good time. I'm not...	Cathyinaz	19	703	Oct 29, 2013 by el-cee
	catchin' up(still pain) (Preview) I am still in pain but i want to catch up w/ and to all of you! Up to speed: I had 2 massages last week & discovered it is massage therapy & somewhat painful but it is helping! I haven't been back to the chiropractor since I last posted. Don't plan to either. My husband puts a special salve I guess on my...	Hoot Nanny	4	276	Oct 29, 2013 by el-cee
	Gratitude (Preview) Today when I woke up, I immediately began to feel angry. I was angry because I slept late, and I had things I wanted to do, things I Had To Do, and it's my day off, and I'm already not enjoying it. I felt stressed, since ABF was getting drunk and high all last night, and I could hear him banging around in the kit...	Raven Juniper	12	525	Oct 29, 2013 by Melly1248
	ACOA Shut down (Preview) MY ACOA double winner BF - clean for 12 years, works the program - has just had a complete shutdown.i We had a great relationship, had a fight and he shut down, asked for space, I had issues giving it to him and we argued, I pushed him to dump me. He said he doesn't know what happened but he doesn't feel the s...	Grumble	4	725	Oct 29, 2013 by Grumble
	4 days (Preview) Good Morning 4 days my son has been out of rehab. Text him to say HI and how his new place was. Called got voice mail..... No response for two days. OH WELL Let go Let God........	Cathyinaz	17	565	Oct 29, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Lost in the corn field (Preview) My current avatar reminds me that sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a corn field. I have 2 choices. I can panic or use the brain I have been given to calmly assess the situation and decide to save my energy to finding my way out. After wandering around for a lengthy period of time I become tired and frustra...	Mari1978	7	597	Oct 29, 2013 by grateful2be
	Don't know how to feel. (Preview) So my son is talking to his baby's momma and I feel nothing but tension between he and I.. This past Sunday he has made me feel horrible. He says he us stressed out. Well gosh knows what she is saying to him because he doesn't open up to me. When I call him I feel like nothing but his punching bag. As a mother I wo...	Gaby	6	292	Oct 29, 2013 by Rose50
	difficulty with self-care (Preview) This past Wednesday, my Dad told me that he may go to a step down unit on Thursday. He is exhausted from lack of sleep that comes with the territory of being in a hospital- that -combined with his stroke affected speech - truly limits how he can express himself. I told him that it was a real treat for me to h...	bud	13	562	Oct 29, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Year old relationship with three and half year member (Preview) Hi. I am new to this board. Fairly new to learning about alcoholism and all that surrounds it. While I had an uncle and an older brother who were both alcoholic, I wasn't around either before they cleaned themselves up. The uncle has passed and my brother and I are almost twenty years apart so we were neve...	safehaven	10	418	Oct 28, 2013 by safehaven
	Positive thought for the Day (Preview) I have found this to be so true	hotrod	12	473	Oct 28, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	From the outside - Looking In (Preview) So as many of you probably remember my AH filed for divorce in July. Through alanon I detached because really I had no other choice. Seems my detachment escalated his disease and the verbal abuse and anger was off the charts. I do believe my HP took the controls out of my hand because I struggled for y...	Milehi-tlc	6	362	Oct 28, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Getting frustrated!!!! :) (Preview) Does anyone know how I can find a list of meetings in my area? I have left 3 messages for the Rochester NY al Anon group and emailed a few times and nothing back. I looked around online but it keeps taking my back to their phone and email address. All I want is to find a face to face ad getting a little nervous...	Iwantthingsback	22	736	Oct 28, 2013 by hotrod
	AH coming home tonight (Preview) Hi everyone, AH has been gone in St Thomas for his sales incentive trip for the past week. I chose not to go for many reasons, including the fact that my mom couldn't fly out to watch our son. Anyway, I am nervous about his homecoming. It's been such a peaceful week, the TV has barely been on, we got lots o...	ilovedogs	13	473	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Stuggling with Nightmare's any ideas... (Preview) Hello everyone just wanted to see what others have done with nightmares. I have been pretty freaked out by some lately. Tried telling myself I am ok... but it seemed so real...(freaked me out bad enough could go back to sleep last night) and the feelings have hung with me all day. Any ideas, techniques...	stilllearning	10	332	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Slipped (Preview) Everything was going so well. Then I slipped back into my old ways. I snooped, looking for things I already knew but didn't want to find. I snapped and started an argument. After months of doing so well, there we were right back in our old roles. I was screaming, he was threatening to go to a bar. Fortunate...	ParisMemories	9	444	Oct 28, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	The Shoebox (a Sunday funny, don't we all love the Sunday funnies?) (Preview) THE SHOEBOX A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her abou...	likemyheart	9	442	Oct 28, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Dishonest to make one self better (Preview) I must say I am glad I'm reading and learning how to stay out of the way of things that can take me off my way to recovery . I have seen a post that was sent to me enormously and it's quite upsetting knowing that my A is telling false truth. He not being honest at all .and I can see how ppl have to look at it and respo...	Ms co-dependent	7	441	Oct 28, 2013 by PP
	Willingness can go a LONG way (Preview) Being agnostic about creator's involvement in my life has caused me much sorrow...like i was missing something...robbed of it and , i know, it goes waaay back to as a child when the abuser would tell me he was "doing this to me b/c god told him to teach me about sex"that wasn't the biginning...	neshema2	5	302	Oct 28, 2013 by 1911A1
	Detach with love.. (Preview) Hello every one. As I have shared my son has been home after being in a Christian base rehab going on 5 1/2 months completely clean from all and working his program. He has a job now that he truly enjoys and I have to admit he has been doing really good. He and a female roommate live in our rental just a few hous...	Gaby	2	306	Oct 28, 2013 by milkwood
	Introducing myself (Preview) This is my first post here. i am living with an AH and I am miserable. We been having marital problems for almost 2 years. Tried counseling, only made it worse. I have tried to leave twice. Both times I get the "I will change, my family is so important to me. Or even worse he threatens to kill himself an...	Dawn14	8	326	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Perfectionism (Preview) Hi y'all. Today my new therapist pointed out that I had a lot of perfectionism. (I told her I want the truth). I agree. Then I opened up Courage To Change and whaddya know! It said that we develop perfectionism to cope with blame and criticism growing up. As many of you know my situation with the famil...	WorkingThroughIt	10	562	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	So scared (Preview) I love my husband so much & i fear for his life. He's drinking 12-14 or more shots of vodka per night plus beer and now I've also been finding canned air duster cans everywhere. A couple months ago I found him passed out in his car with it running & a bottle of canned air in his hand. I'm so afraid t...	swood31	8	388	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Question about enabling (Preview) Hi all, I'm new to this site and pretty new to al-anon. My boyfriend is my qualifier, and when he drinks, he tends to injure himself, sometimes pretty severely. It's never been to the point of having to go to the emergency room (at least not since I have known him) but enough that he is visibly in a lot of p...	KiaOra	11	559	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Happy,sad,angry,confused, Sunday (Preview) Good morning . Well afternoon since the days are all the same to me . I find Sunday is the only day I can remember I think it's because that's when the crazyness starts. But today my plans my goal is to replace my bad Sunday with good Sunday . I find that's when I'm totally confused and scared because it's mee...	Ms co-dependent	8	530	Oct 28, 2013 by pinkchip
	Hi Everyone! (Preview) This post is for both newcomers and oldtimers. I want all newcomers to know that although you might not see or feel it right now, things will get better. You are in the process of getting better yourself. Stay close, to us here, get to as many face to face meetings as you can in your community, try to fin...	John	11	512	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Thurday was simple (Preview) Hi everyone Thursday went good without fear. I picked up my son and we went to the place where he would stay. He like it and signed up to live there. It's close to the rehab where he still can go back to for meetings, counseling and support he needs. If that happens only God knows. This place is a transi...	Cathyinaz	16	465	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Can I just scream? (Preview) Well ha ha joke is on me. I thought I had messed up the other. Boy was I ever wrong. I mean, I was pretty rude but I no longer care about that. Today was an eventful day. Went to a birthday party for my best friend. Husband got extremely intoxicated. A different friend drove us home. Husband left a card for...	Bobbi	8	472	Oct 27, 2013 by Bobbi
	validation of action (Preview) It has been a very long time since I last visited this board. My life is like no other. My life is a bit different than most. Please give me the benefit of doubt until you get to know me some. Right now I so would like to be rid of some guilt. I born into a family that was going to have four boys and three girl...	richard	6	404	Oct 27, 2013 by bud
	Need prayer! (Preview) I've a feeling everybody is happy and going on with their life, except me. My a/a daugther is not answering her door, her phone and is off face book for about a week. Her brother said she is alright where ever she is, her adult son said he was tired of trying to check up on her and let his other brother go b...	Highlyfavored	4	300	Oct 27, 2013 by grateful2be
	That's Why I'm Here... (Preview) So I'm new, and I don't know any of you. Last weekend, my ex-husband told me his girlfriend was moving out, and he cried and cried. He finally realized the damage his drinking has done to those he loves the most. Thankfully, he drinks alone or at home when the children are asleep and stays sober at work (I t...	kickstart77	13	430	Oct 27, 2013 by kickstart77
	it has escalated to driving. (Preview) Hi everyone! Long time no talk but I'm back with a serious problem. I have been doing me and have become very detached with my AH. However in this progressive disease he now started driving drunk. I will never drive him anywhere, any grown man is capable of driving themselve (not if your drunk, but n...	1976love	11	521	Oct 27, 2013 by neshema2
	tried to connect (Preview) So I have been distant since my A drank and drove 10 days ago. But I have not been depressed or anxious or any of the old stuff. Tonight I asked her if she could let me know what she is learning in her meetings that she is applying to herself for change? She's been going since May. Well, she got very angry a...	Lyne	2	261	Oct 27, 2013 by el-cee
	I hate his disease, but I love my A Brother sooo much (Preview) My A brother is a very "high end" marine engineer on electronic devices....those big electronic things u see on coast guard ships, the noaa weather ships, and huge big boats on the NE sea coast were either installed or refurbished by my brother....he has been an electronic engineer for 3...	neshema2	5	403	Oct 27, 2013 by PP
	Positive thinking and Humor (Preview) Woke up today, with this tingling right hand again (pregnancy woes.) I layed in bed a while and prayed and accepted complete surrender to my HP. I asked for guidance and for my HP's will for me. My idea for the day is to stay positive, when that positivity wants to shift to its default mode, negative th...	Michelle814	2	322	Oct 26, 2013 by hotrod
	Gratitude (Preview) I have only joined this forum a day ago yet I now feel right at home free to talk about my experience strength and hope , good bad or indifferent. I don't have to be perfect just real open and honest . The language of the heart can be sad, mad, and glad and most of all honest.	Zabi	6	272	Oct 26, 2013 by Jerry F
	Something's very wrong !!! (Preview) Well they say no news is good news that's not always the truth. I find that to be the calm before the storm. Today I woke up early and looked forward to starting my step work. Things have been on edge here at home . To many dr appt to much time to sit and see how things went wrong and I have no part in it . But the co d...	Ms co-dependent	8	512	Oct 26, 2013 by neshema2
	Prescription (Preview) The last few weeks have been difficult for me. Friendships have been strained, family relationships have been tested and my relationship with me has been stretched...all the while I have been hanging on like a barnacle. In the midst of the turmoil I found a laminated prescription of Bill Smith's t...	PP	7	260	Oct 26, 2013 by PP
	Resentment (Preview) try so hard to let go of resentment, love the good stuff I learn in recovery yet my mind refuses to let go of crap that keeps me sick I get so sick of my sick mind going over and over negative crap. The positive stuff floats off and the negative stuff seems to be on default setting. God knows I try .	Sab I	8	491	Oct 26, 2013 by Jerry F
	Hindsight and worthless wishes... (Preview) Aloha MIP Family...bringing it here; the hindsight inventory of alcoholism in my life including my eldest relapsing son. It is what is is and was what it was and I didn't have near enough information and awareness as I have today about it. As I have said; which is true, when I got into program I was as...	Jerry F	21	617	Oct 26, 2013 by Jerry F
	Hello (Preview) I have not been on this site in a very long time. I am currently nine months pregnant and playing the waiting game... which means maternity leave has begun but the baby is stubbornly not arriving yet. I am quite uncomfortable and all the time on my hands gets me a little crazy. This is why its so importa...	Michelle814	3	234	Oct 26, 2013 by Jerry F
	Does anyone understand? (Preview) I've been a member long enough to know that my husbands drinking is not my fault so I don't need anyone here to point this out to me when I ask this question. I do feel as though the stress of my relationship and the way I've treated him since we've been together (yeah, I'm not an easy person to get a long with...	Lizabelle123	11	512	Oct 26, 2013 by Jen61
	Advise……………. Or feedback? (Preview) My A found last night my meeting for Wed at 7:30 nights highlighted. No biggy, I am not hiding this so it was on the table under our bills. He JUST text me and said he noticed there was an AA meeting at the church too, same time. He asked if I go next Wed would it be ok to go to the AA meeting while I go to my mee...	Iwantthingsback	12	453	Oct 26, 2013 by Michelle814
	Pointless happy ramble :-) (Preview) Well, I mentioned that on Wednesday (which was yesterday here, because I'm from the future ), I was planning to head into town, go to a guided meditation and meet with my mum. My daughter had the day off (yes, welcome to Australia where children get days off for important horse-racing events) and I r...	Melly1248	20	473	Oct 25, 2013 by gingerfizz
	Out of Control (Preview) ABF went on a bender last night. Getting home from work, I could smell the beer and cigarette dive smell before I even opened the door. I went into the bedroom and shut the door, trying to get away from the bar scene stench and his slurred speech. I'd just changed into my fuzzy pajamas and was just about to...	Raven Juniper	13	528	Oct 25, 2013 by PP
	A message from HP (Preview) Hello friends AH is doing so well, we are both working our programs. But life continues on, unexpected bills arrive, pressure at my job seems to keep coming. I was feeling angry and disappointed. I thought once my husband stopped drinking life would be perfect. Ha! As I pushed my cart through th...	ParisMemories	4	406	Oct 25, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Mahalo Family... (Preview) Your love and support; your ESH and gratitudes are the other side of what I feel and yet I cannot walk in a crowd and continue to go my own way. You lead me...I will follow and I will let you support me cause I cannot support myself for the moment and then why am I here? Because I cannot do this myself and my H...	Jerry F	20	530	Oct 25, 2013 by DavidG
	my sister asked (Preview) Hi-I've been telling my sister how much alanon is helping me and she wanted to know what it was helping me with. Her spouse has two addictions and she is suffering as I was. Because it was in a text, I had to keep it short. I told her that alanon is teaching me not to be destroyed when my spouse is destructi...	Lyne	5	252	Oct 25, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Detach and meeting questoin (Preview) Hi all - I hope everyone is happy today!I am doing pretty good with a lot of things, BUT the detaching part, holy cow. How in the heck did you all learn this? I can detach, but it is effecting my feelings big time, sex drive, everything. I am still reading my material, getting therapy and learning but ho...	Iwantthingsback	7	340	Oct 25, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	I've finally put a blocker application on my phone (Preview) So I finally managed to work out how to block calls and texts from my Alcoholic mum. The final straw was when she said she had the flu and was in bed, she said the doctor had taken blood but she wasn't sure why. My mum is late stages alcoholic liver disease but still drinking. I went into a state of panic and ra...	qwerty49	3	427	Oct 25, 2013 by maryjane
	Does it ever leave you? (Preview) Does the pain of loving someone addicted to alcohol ever leave you? My husband of nearly 40 years died in August 2011. Although I was sad, I have to admit it was also a relief. To say he had put me and our two children through hell is an understatement. 2 and a bit years later everyone assumes you must be OK - t...	Tattyhead	10	509	Oct 25, 2013 by Tattyhead
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.