Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi y'all. Today my new therapist pointed out that I had a lot of perfectionism. (I told her I want the truth). I agree. Then I opened up Courage To Change and whaddya know! It said that we develop perfectionism to cope with blame and criticism growing up. As many of you know my situation with the famil...

swood31 · swood31

I love my husband so much & i fear for his life. He's drinking 12-14 or more shots of vodka per night plus beer and now I've also been finding canned air duster cans everywhere. A couple months ago I found him passed out in his car with it running & a bottle of canned air in his hand. I'm so afraid t...

KiaOra · KiaOra

Hi all, I'm new to this site and pretty new to al-anon. My boyfriend is my qualifier, and when he drinks, he tends to injure himself, sometimes pretty severely. It's never been to the point of having to go to the emergency room (at least not since I have known him) but enough that he is visibly in a lot of p...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Good morning . Well afternoon since the days are all the same to me . I find Sunday is the only day I can remember I think it's because that's when the crazyness starts. But today my plans my goal is to replace my bad Sunday with good Sunday . I find that's when I'm totally confused and scared because it's mee...

John · John

This post is for both newcomers and oldtimers. I want all newcomers to know that although you might not see or feel it right now, things will get better. You are in the process of getting better yourself. Stay close, to us here, get to as many face to face meetings as you can in your community, try to fin...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi everyone Thursday went good without fear. I picked up my son and we went to the place where he would stay. He like it and signed up to live there. It's close to the rehab where he still can go back to for meetings, counseling and support he needs. If that happens only God knows. This place is a transi...

Bobbi · Bobbi

Well ha ha joke is on me. I thought I had messed up the other. Boy was I ever wrong. I mean, I was pretty rude but I no longer care about that. Today was an eventful day. Went to a birthday party for my best friend. Husband got extremely intoxicated. A different friend drove us home. Husband left a card for...

richard · richard

It has been a very long time since I last visited this board. My life is like no other. My life is a bit different than most. Please give me the benefit of doubt until you get to know me some. Right now I so would like to be rid of some guilt. I born into a family that was going to have four boys and three girl...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I've a feeling everybody is happy and going on with their life, except me. My a/a daugther is not answering her door, her phone and is off face book for about a week. Her brother said she is alright where ever she is, her adult son said he was tired of trying to check up on her and let his other brother go b...

kickstart77 · kickstart77

So I'm new, and I don't know any of you. Last weekend, my ex-husband told me his girlfriend was moving out, and he cried and cried. He finally realized the damage his drinking has done to those he loves the most. Thankfully, he drinks alone or at home when the children are asleep and stays sober at work (I t...

1976love · 1976love

Hi everyone! Long time no talk but I'm back with a serious problem. I have been doing me and have become very detached with my AH. However in this progressive disease he now started driving drunk. I will never drive him anywhere, any grown man is capable of driving themselve (not if your drunk, but n...

Lyne · Lyne

So I have been distant since my A drank and drove 10 days ago. But I have not been depressed or anxious or any of the old stuff. Tonight I asked her if she could let me know what she is learning in her meetings that she is applying to herself for change? She's been going since May. Well, she got very angry a...

neshema2 · neshema2

My A brother is a very "high end" marine engineer on electronic devices....those big electronic things u see on coast guard ships, the noaa weather ships, and huge big boats on the NE sea coast were either installed or refurbished by my brother....he has been an electronic engineer for 3...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Woke up today, with this tingling right hand again (pregnancy woes.) I layed in bed a while and prayed and accepted complete surrender to my HP. I asked for guidance and for my HP's will for me. My idea for the day is to stay positive, when that positivity wants to shift to its default mode, negative th...

Zabi · Zabi

I have only joined this forum a day ago yet I now feel right at home free to talk about my experience strength and hope , good bad or indifferent. I don't have to be perfect just real open and honest . The language of the heart can be sad, mad, and glad and most of all honest.

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Well they say no news is good news that's not always the truth. I find that to be the calm before the storm. Today I woke up early and looked forward to starting my step work. Things have been on edge here at home . To many dr appt to much time to sit and see how things went wrong and I have no part in it . But the co d...

PP · PP

The last few weeks have been difficult for me. Friendships have been strained, family relationships have been tested and my relationship with me has been stretched...all the while I have been hanging on like a barnacle. In the midst of the turmoil I found a laminated prescription of Bill Smith's t...

Sab I · Sab I

try so hard to let go of resentment, love the good stuff I learn in recovery yet my mind refuses to let go of crap that keeps me sick I get so sick of my sick mind going over and over negative crap. The positive stuff floats off and the negative stuff seems to be on default setting. God knows I try .

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIP Family...bringing it here; the hindsight inventory of alcoholism in my life including my eldest relapsing son. It is what is is and was what it was and I didn't have near enough information and awareness as I have today about it. As I have said; which is true, when I got into program I was as...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I have not been on this site in a very long time. I am currently nine months pregnant and playing the waiting game... which means maternity leave has begun but the baby is stubbornly not arriving yet. I am quite uncomfortable and all the time on my hands gets me a little crazy. This is why its so importa...

Lizabelle123 · Lizabelle123

I've been a member long enough to know that my husbands drinking is not my fault so I don't need anyone here to point this out to me when I ask this question. I do feel as though the stress of my relationship and the way I've treated him since we've been together (yeah, I'm not an easy person to get a long with...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

My A found last night my meeting for Wed at 7:30 nights highlighted. No biggy, I am not hiding this so it was on the table under our bills. He JUST text me and said he noticed there was an AA meeting at the church too, same time. He asked if I go next Wed would it be ok to go to the AA meeting while I go to my mee...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well, I mentioned that on Wednesday (which was yesterday here, because I'm from the future

), I was planning to head into town, go to a guided meditation and meet with my mum. My daughter had the day off (yes, welcome to Australia where children get days off for important horse-racing events) and I r...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

ABF went on a bender last night. Getting home from work, I could smell the beer and cigarette dive smell before I even opened the door. I went into the bedroom and shut the door, trying to get away from the bar scene stench and his slurred speech. I'd just changed into my fuzzy pajamas and was just about to...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Hello friends AH is doing so well, we are both working our programs. But life continues on, unexpected bills arrive, pressure at my job seems to keep coming. I was feeling angry and disappointed. I thought once my husband stopped drinking life would be perfect. Ha! As I pushed my cart through th...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Your love and support; your ESH and gratitudes are the other side of what I feel and yet I cannot walk in a crowd and continue to go my own way. You lead me...I will follow and I will let you support me cause I cannot support myself for the moment and then why am I here? Because I cannot do this myself and my H...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi-I've been telling my sister how much alanon is helping me and she wanted to know what it was helping me with. Her spouse has two addictions and she is suffering as I was. Because it was in a text, I had to keep it short. I told her that alanon is teaching me not to be destroyed when my spouse is destructi...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Hi all - I hope everyone is happy today!I am doing pretty good with a lot of things, BUT the detaching part, holy cow. How in the heck did you all learn this? I can detach, but it is effecting my feelings big time, sex drive, everything. I am still reading my material, getting therapy and learning but ho...

qwerty49 · qwerty49

So I finally managed to work out how to block calls and texts from my Alcoholic mum. The final straw was when she said she had the flu and was in bed, she said the doctor had taken blood but she wasn't sure why. My mum is late stages alcoholic liver disease but still drinking. I went into a state of panic and ra...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Does the pain of loving someone addicted to alcohol ever leave you? My husband of nearly 40 years died in August 2011. Although I was sad, I have to admit it was also a relief. To say he had put me and our two children through hell is an understatement. 2 and a bit years later everyone assumes you must be OK - t...

neshema2 · neshema2

This week was a test on my aversion to CHANGE... electric company was trying to force me into renewing with them at higher rate, using pressure.."sign up now or you may pay more" AND they wanted me to change contract b4 my old expired to "lock me in" at the higher rate........wen...

cinders · cinders

Starting a new and promising relationship with a non-alcoholic. Wonderful man that I am really enjoying getting to know. He is kind, supportive, funny and very sweet. Someone that I really enjoy spending time with. I am seeing my insecurities from past relationship with my ex alcoholic husban...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I know I had my slumps and slips, but I have grown and have seen so many people grow and make some really great strides so I know it can be done. I have also seen and heard and heard and heard the other side of that in meetings, here and in life and I am running out being able to hear people complain about the e...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I was talking with my dad and brother yesterday and we got to discussing how my AM is sick again this year. .she's had a cold, an asthmatic episode, and she's still depressed. She tells me often that she's tired of being sick...it's no wonder that in the last few years she's had her knee replacement surge...

abell · abell

I have a few years of anger and fear stored inside my body from living with the A for years. He was my family and my everything, like chronic misery of the mind and body. Then there was a death in my family this year, and when I came back to town the A had been drinking a lot while I was gone, and I was grieving,...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I did go on the trip wth my girlfrind and 2 of her friends, we had a wonderful time. I did learn learn a lot about comparing, I learned one of the ladies (the main bragger) deceased husband was an alcoholic, her daugter who happened to join us at the resort with her husband is an alcoholic, not active due to...

Bobbi · Bobbi

I'm screwing up and I don't know why. Yes there is stress at home. And yes he is an alcoholic. But none of that excuses me from bad behavior. I said some awful things to my husband a few days ago. Everything was fine. We were getting along great. Having an evening in together. Completely out of nowhere I got...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

So, I had my on therapy apt last night (keep in mind this is or couple therapist as well and 25 yrs drug and alcohol therapist too) there are rules to doing this but he will see us one on one if we request this and both of us are ok with this. Anyway, we talked last night about how frustrated I get because he isnt...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

For the last two weeks my AM has done this daily: wake up, watch TV, read, talk on the phone, get drunk and go to bed... we (myself, my brother and my dad especially) are getting tired of it. It's at the point now where she doesn't eat dinner much less make it! I don't know if this is ironic or not but incidentl...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I'm so upset for my A attitude this evening . I went out of my house for first time with a new attitude not to think of what will happen when I got home . I didn't want to think about how I'm gonna handle this childish behavior of my A . I have done nothing wrong I took his advise and went out and if he had a proble...

rehprof · rehprof

My place of work has cracked down on my ability to pick up extra classes for money...to make ends meet. My exA has given about $200 to me for support in 3 years (he did buy a car for his son, and a tv -- this with my retirement money from the divorce -- but he spent that 50K right away). He does not work, and tells...

Zabi · Zabi

Morning prayer a daily reader anything from recovery suggestions is really important for me in the morning because for what ever reason ivery rarely wake up with positive thinking. When I reflect back it has definitely improved through awareness and doing something about it . Very grateful for a...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Another approved reading last night in therapy. I say approved because it has taken me almost a year speak to my dry A where it doesnt cause a fight , gets my point across and for positive things to come out of it. More importantly makes me feel better. I used to be all over the place with my talks and by w...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, I came on here yesterday and again it has sparked an enlightenment in my recovery. My a is sober and in AA and it a lot better today although he is running to work etc ( not working his recovery the way i want him to ha ha ). I realised yesterday after reading on here that I am still wanting him to fill the...

Sab I · Sab I

I have been trying to let go of resentments for the last ten years they cause me to feel frustrated crazy and alone. It's like playing a tape over and over again so I can feel hurt, rejected and ashamed, inferior all over again. The steps suggest praying for the person and wishing them well.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So I am going to get my mammogram today finally. It is not what I really want to do but in order to find out good or bad what is wrong I have to do it. The program is working but I tend to look into the future. It sucks that I have to get this done because as I look ahead I feel that my surgery 3 years ago may be reverse...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I have been going to face to face meetings for about 3 months now consistantly. I am so afraid to speak at the meetings, it is even hard for me to say my name when we are all introducing ourselves. I dont know why I am so afraid. I get so mad at myself after the meetings (i basically bolt out as soon as its ove...

bud · bud

Tonight my Mom called to let me know that my Dad is in the hospital from another stroke. I thanked her for the information and asked if she needed anything and she said no and we said good bye. I called my Dad in the intensive care unit and, thankfully, he is going to be ok. My Mom had put a moratorium on my vi...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Remember when setting your boundaries, make them realistic, one you can and will stick to without hurting your sanity. Your "A" will most likely test these boundaries so be ready to show they are real. Mine tested my first boundary.. about three times he gave up (and boundary is workin...

joker · joker

I have stepped out into the dating field and I wonder if I am ready. I have met two men off a dating site and by the 2nd date all I have lost all intrest in them. I see red flags everywhere. Either they have bagage from their past they have not dealt with or they are intrested in one thing only..and I find tha...

mongowal · mongowal

I read an quote this morning and thought it was so fitting for the Al-Anon program: People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If your are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you f...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and moved on to others in the family. My eldest son has relapsed...his church program stopped working and he has flushed his life down the toilet. My daughter in law was visiting while I was a way from the house and my wife got the current story...you all know what insanity sounds like and looks like...

islandtime · islandtime

Seems like most of the A s I read about on here are causing trouble of some sort all the time, ect,ect. My AH is a different kind. He never missed a day of work in 40 years, never got arrested, doesn't yell or do any of that. Just the opposite, he reads, watches tv, gardens, fishes, golfs. All the while drinki...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

On page of 125 with courage to change, not an easy read for me and I dont really care for it.. This may or not be the best thing, switching gears, but I put down that book and started Getting them sober. What an awesome awesome book. Only on page 100 but brilliant! I will have to get back to courage to chang...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So my daughter's wedding went well. Her twin sister, my AD, ended up showing up to the wedding at the last minute after saying she wasn't going to attend. I'm glad that I didn't get in the middle of things and let my HP do His work. She was emotional at the ceremony, but we were all glad that she chose to atten...

Simba · Simba

I am not sure I am in the right place.. as I read through the posts I only see alcohol related posts. My wife is a subscription drug abuser is there a difference, does it matter? I need help.

jmn_1395 · jmn_1395

Your participation in a research study on the strengths of ACOA (Age 18-25) would be appreciated. Please click link below to complete the online questionnaires. http://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/1405420/Dissertation I would also love to go over your results of this study once I have complete...

Iamgood · Iamgood

Hi everyone, I really benefited from this chains of honest and supportive posts. I got married 6 weeks ago to an alcoholic with 20+ years of solid AA recovery & sobriety. My husband is usually a wise, patient, supportive man. For the past week, he has been irascible, tired, stressed, and seeing so...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Hmm. So about a year ago I learned a little bit (just the top of the iceberg really) about not enabling an addict. And how this could make them wake up and get it together. So I set about not enabling and I got pretty good at it. Goodbye bowing, scraping, resentful abused little doormat, hello "Oh, yo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

OK so I am struggling w/ my pain still. I can't seem to get comfortable so I don't have a lot of time to post these days between the pain & being uncomfortable. I hope I am not being redundant. I feel sometimes that when I feel physical pain, I struggle w/ mental issues. So, I am not going to probably get t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Perfectionism (Preview) Hi y'all. Today my new therapist pointed out that I had a lot of perfectionism. (I told her I want the truth). I agree. Then I opened up Courage To Change and whaddya know! It said that we develop perfectionism to cope with blame and criticism growing up. As many of you know my situation with the famil...	WorkingThroughIt	10	521	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	So scared (Preview) I love my husband so much & i fear for his life. He's drinking 12-14 or more shots of vodka per night plus beer and now I've also been finding canned air duster cans everywhere. A couple months ago I found him passed out in his car with it running & a bottle of canned air in his hand. I'm so afraid t...	swood31	8	357	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Question about enabling (Preview) Hi all, I'm new to this site and pretty new to al-anon. My boyfriend is my qualifier, and when he drinks, he tends to injure himself, sometimes pretty severely. It's never been to the point of having to go to the emergency room (at least not since I have known him) but enough that he is visibly in a lot of p...	KiaOra	11	527	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Happy,sad,angry,confused, Sunday (Preview) Good morning . Well afternoon since the days are all the same to me . I find Sunday is the only day I can remember I think it's because that's when the crazyness starts. But today my plans my goal is to replace my bad Sunday with good Sunday . I find that's when I'm totally confused and scared because it's mee...	Ms co-dependent	8	494	Oct 28, 2013 by pinkchip
	Hi Everyone! (Preview) This post is for both newcomers and oldtimers. I want all newcomers to know that although you might not see or feel it right now, things will get better. You are in the process of getting better yourself. Stay close, to us here, get to as many face to face meetings as you can in your community, try to fin...	John	11	478	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Thurday was simple (Preview) Hi everyone Thursday went good without fear. I picked up my son and we went to the place where he would stay. He like it and signed up to live there. It's close to the rehab where he still can go back to for meetings, counseling and support he needs. If that happens only God knows. This place is a transi...	Cathyinaz	16	430	Oct 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Can I just scream? (Preview) Well ha ha joke is on me. I thought I had messed up the other. Boy was I ever wrong. I mean, I was pretty rude but I no longer care about that. Today was an eventful day. Went to a birthday party for my best friend. Husband got extremely intoxicated. A different friend drove us home. Husband left a card for...	Bobbi	8	440	Oct 27, 2013 by Bobbi
	validation of action (Preview) It has been a very long time since I last visited this board. My life is like no other. My life is a bit different than most. Please give me the benefit of doubt until you get to know me some. Right now I so would like to be rid of some guilt. I born into a family that was going to have four boys and three girl...	richard	6	360	Oct 27, 2013 by bud
	Need prayer! (Preview) I've a feeling everybody is happy and going on with their life, except me. My a/a daugther is not answering her door, her phone and is off face book for about a week. Her brother said she is alright where ever she is, her adult son said he was tired of trying to check up on her and let his other brother go b...	Highlyfavored	4	267	Oct 27, 2013 by grateful2be
	That's Why I'm Here... (Preview) So I'm new, and I don't know any of you. Last weekend, my ex-husband told me his girlfriend was moving out, and he cried and cried. He finally realized the damage his drinking has done to those he loves the most. Thankfully, he drinks alone or at home when the children are asleep and stays sober at work (I t...	kickstart77	13	399	Oct 27, 2013 by kickstart77
	it has escalated to driving. (Preview) Hi everyone! Long time no talk but I'm back with a serious problem. I have been doing me and have become very detached with my AH. However in this progressive disease he now started driving drunk. I will never drive him anywhere, any grown man is capable of driving themselve (not if your drunk, but n...	1976love	11	484	Oct 27, 2013 by neshema2
	tried to connect (Preview) So I have been distant since my A drank and drove 10 days ago. But I have not been depressed or anxious or any of the old stuff. Tonight I asked her if she could let me know what she is learning in her meetings that she is applying to herself for change? She's been going since May. Well, she got very angry a...	Lyne	2	215	Oct 27, 2013 by el-cee
	I hate his disease, but I love my A Brother sooo much (Preview) My A brother is a very "high end" marine engineer on electronic devices....those big electronic things u see on coast guard ships, the noaa weather ships, and huge big boats on the NE sea coast were either installed or refurbished by my brother....he has been an electronic engineer for 3...	neshema2	5	368	Oct 27, 2013 by PP
	Positive thinking and Humor (Preview) Woke up today, with this tingling right hand again (pregnancy woes.) I layed in bed a while and prayed and accepted complete surrender to my HP. I asked for guidance and for my HP's will for me. My idea for the day is to stay positive, when that positivity wants to shift to its default mode, negative th...	Michelle814	2	288	Oct 26, 2013 by hotrod
	Gratitude (Preview) I have only joined this forum a day ago yet I now feel right at home free to talk about my experience strength and hope , good bad or indifferent. I don't have to be perfect just real open and honest . The language of the heart can be sad, mad, and glad and most of all honest.	Zabi	6	239	Oct 26, 2013 by Jerry F
	Something's very wrong !!! (Preview) Well they say no news is good news that's not always the truth. I find that to be the calm before the storm. Today I woke up early and looked forward to starting my step work. Things have been on edge here at home . To many dr appt to much time to sit and see how things went wrong and I have no part in it . But the co d...	Ms co-dependent	8	481	Oct 26, 2013 by neshema2
	Prescription (Preview) The last few weeks have been difficult for me. Friendships have been strained, family relationships have been tested and my relationship with me has been stretched...all the while I have been hanging on like a barnacle. In the midst of the turmoil I found a laminated prescription of Bill Smith's t...	PP	7	228	Oct 26, 2013 by PP
	Resentment (Preview) try so hard to let go of resentment, love the good stuff I learn in recovery yet my mind refuses to let go of crap that keeps me sick I get so sick of my sick mind going over and over negative crap. The positive stuff floats off and the negative stuff seems to be on default setting. God knows I try .	Sab I	8	461	Oct 26, 2013 by Jerry F
	Hindsight and worthless wishes... (Preview) Aloha MIP Family...bringing it here; the hindsight inventory of alcoholism in my life including my eldest relapsing son. It is what is is and was what it was and I didn't have near enough information and awareness as I have today about it. As I have said; which is true, when I got into program I was as...	Jerry F	21	576	Oct 26, 2013 by Jerry F
	Hello (Preview) I have not been on this site in a very long time. I am currently nine months pregnant and playing the waiting game... which means maternity leave has begun but the baby is stubbornly not arriving yet. I am quite uncomfortable and all the time on my hands gets me a little crazy. This is why its so importa...	Michelle814	3	202	Oct 26, 2013 by Jerry F
	Does anyone understand? (Preview) I've been a member long enough to know that my husbands drinking is not my fault so I don't need anyone here to point this out to me when I ask this question. I do feel as though the stress of my relationship and the way I've treated him since we've been together (yeah, I'm not an easy person to get a long with...	Lizabelle123	11	472	Oct 26, 2013 by Jen61
	Advise……………. Or feedback? (Preview) My A found last night my meeting for Wed at 7:30 nights highlighted. No biggy, I am not hiding this so it was on the table under our bills. He JUST text me and said he noticed there was an AA meeting at the church too, same time. He asked if I go next Wed would it be ok to go to the AA meeting while I go to my mee...	Iwantthingsback	12	421	Oct 26, 2013 by Michelle814
	Pointless happy ramble :-) (Preview) Well, I mentioned that on Wednesday (which was yesterday here, because I'm from the future ), I was planning to head into town, go to a guided meditation and meet with my mum. My daughter had the day off (yes, welcome to Australia where children get days off for important horse-racing events) and I r...	Melly1248	20	435	Oct 25, 2013 by gingerfizz
	Out of Control (Preview) ABF went on a bender last night. Getting home from work, I could smell the beer and cigarette dive smell before I even opened the door. I went into the bedroom and shut the door, trying to get away from the bar scene stench and his slurred speech. I'd just changed into my fuzzy pajamas and was just about to...	Raven Juniper	13	496	Oct 25, 2013 by PP
	A message from HP (Preview) Hello friends AH is doing so well, we are both working our programs. But life continues on, unexpected bills arrive, pressure at my job seems to keep coming. I was feeling angry and disappointed. I thought once my husband stopped drinking life would be perfect. Ha! As I pushed my cart through th...	ParisMemories	4	361	Oct 25, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Mahalo Family... (Preview) Your love and support; your ESH and gratitudes are the other side of what I feel and yet I cannot walk in a crowd and continue to go my own way. You lead me...I will follow and I will let you support me cause I cannot support myself for the moment and then why am I here? Because I cannot do this myself and my H...	Jerry F	20	495	Oct 25, 2013 by DavidG
	my sister asked (Preview) Hi-I've been telling my sister how much alanon is helping me and she wanted to know what it was helping me with. Her spouse has two addictions and she is suffering as I was. Because it was in a text, I had to keep it short. I told her that alanon is teaching me not to be destroyed when my spouse is destructi...	Lyne	5	219	Oct 25, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Detach and meeting questoin (Preview) Hi all - I hope everyone is happy today!I am doing pretty good with a lot of things, BUT the detaching part, holy cow. How in the heck did you all learn this? I can detach, but it is effecting my feelings big time, sex drive, everything. I am still reading my material, getting therapy and learning but ho...	Iwantthingsback	7	307	Oct 25, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	I've finally put a blocker application on my phone (Preview) So I finally managed to work out how to block calls and texts from my Alcoholic mum. The final straw was when she said she had the flu and was in bed, she said the doctor had taken blood but she wasn't sure why. My mum is late stages alcoholic liver disease but still drinking. I went into a state of panic and ra...	qwerty49	3	391	Oct 25, 2013 by maryjane
	Does it ever leave you? (Preview) Does the pain of loving someone addicted to alcohol ever leave you? My husband of nearly 40 years died in August 2011. Although I was sad, I have to admit it was also a relief. To say he had put me and our two children through hell is an understatement. 2 and a bit years later everyone assumes you must be OK - t...	Tattyhead	10	472	Oct 25, 2013 by Tattyhead
	along w/the craziness comes this very funny experience (Preview) This week was a test on my aversion to CHANGE... electric company was trying to force me into renewing with them at higher rate, using pressure.."sign up now or you may pay more" AND they wanted me to change contract b4 my old expired to "lock me in" at the higher rate........wen...	neshema2	4	322	Oct 25, 2013 by PP
	Bringing my issues to a new relationship (Preview) Starting a new and promising relationship with a non-alcoholic. Wonderful man that I am really enjoying getting to know. He is kind, supportive, funny and very sweet. Someone that I really enjoy spending time with. I am seeing my insecurities from past relationship with my ex alcoholic husban...	cinders	5	444	Oct 25, 2013 by cinders
	I am running out of sweetness with people not really working a program (Preview) I know I had my slumps and slips, but I have grown and have seen so many people grow and make some really great strides so I know it can be done. I have also seen and heard and heard and heard the other side of that in meetings, here and in life and I am running out being able to hear people complain about the e...	Breakingfree	16	521	Oct 25, 2013 by Zabi
	The sad reality... (Preview) I was talking with my dad and brother yesterday and we got to discussing how my AM is sick again this year. .she's had a cold, an asthmatic episode, and she's still depressed. She tells me often that she's tired of being sick...it's no wonder that in the last few years she's had her knee replacement surge...	phoenixmagicgirl	3	448	Oct 24, 2013 by pinkchip
	Mounting panic and anxiety - wanting to talk to my exBF AH anxiety lonely (Preview) I have a few years of anger and fear stored inside my body from living with the A for years. He was my family and my everything, like chronic misery of the mind and body. Then there was a death in my family this year, and when I came back to town the A had been drinking a lot while I was gone, and I was grieving,...	abell	4	358	Oct 24, 2013 by oldergal
	Re: note about trip--12 days ago! (Preview) I did go on the trip wth my girlfrind and 2 of her friends, we had a wonderful time. I did learn learn a lot about comparing, I learned one of the ladies (the main bragger) deceased husband was an alcoholic, her daugter who happened to join us at the resort with her husband is an alcoholic, not active due to...	Highlyfavored	3	170	Oct 24, 2013 by grateful2be
	Messing up (Preview) I'm screwing up and I don't know why. Yes there is stress at home. And yes he is an alcoholic. But none of that excuses me from bad behavior. I said some awful things to my husband a few days ago. Everything was fine. We were getting along great. Having an evening in together. Completely out of nowhere I got...	Bobbi	7	398	Oct 24, 2013 by bud
	Sharing - hope it helps (Preview) So, I had my on therapy apt last night (keep in mind this is or couple therapist as well and 25 yrs drug and alcohol therapist too) there are rules to doing this but he will see us one on one if we request this and both of us are ok with this. Anyway, we talked last night about how frustrated I get because he isnt...	Iwantthingsback	5	287	Oct 24, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	This is coming to a sit down/family meeting with my AM this weekend.... (Preview) For the last two weeks my AM has done this daily: wake up, watch TV, read, talk on the phone, get drunk and go to bed... we (myself, my brother and my dad especially) are getting tired of it. It's at the point now where she doesn't eat dinner much less make it! I don't know if this is ironic or not but incidentl...	phoenixmagicgirl	5	227	Oct 24, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Went a self help group (Preview) I'm so upset for my A attitude this evening . I went out of my house for first time with a new attitude not to think of what will happen when I got home . I didn't want to think about how I'm gonna handle this childish behavior of my A . I have done nothing wrong I took his advise and went out and if he had a proble...	Ms co-dependent	8	471	Oct 24, 2013 by neshema2
	Do I open that can of worms? (Preview) My place of work has cracked down on my ability to pick up extra classes for money...to make ends meet. My exA has given about $200 to me for support in 3 years (he did buy a car for his son, and a tv -- this with my retirement money from the divorce -- but he spent that 50K right away). He does not work, and tells...	rehprof	9	406	Oct 24, 2013 by PP
	Morning prayer (Preview) Morning prayer a daily reader anything from recovery suggestions is really important for me in the morning because for what ever reason ivery rarely wake up with positive thinking. When I reflect back it has definitely improved through awareness and doing something about it . Very grateful for a...	Zabi	2	457	Oct 24, 2013 by PP
	Posting thing like this for the hope it will help someone.. ya never know (Preview) Another approved reading last night in therapy. I say approved because it has taken me almost a year speak to my dry A where it doesnt cause a fight , gets my point across and for positive things to come out of it. More importantly makes me feel better. I used to be all over the place with my talks and by w...	Iwantthingsback	6	605	Oct 24, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	filling tjhe hole (Preview) Hi all, I came on here yesterday and again it has sparked an enlightenment in my recovery. My a is sober and in AA and it a lot better today although he is running to work etc ( not working his recovery the way i want him to ha ha ). I realised yesterday after reading on here that I am still wanting him to fill the...	Tracy	2	123	Oct 24, 2013 by hotrod
	Resentment (Preview) I have been trying to let go of resentments for the last ten years they cause me to feel frustrated crazy and alone. It's like playing a tape over and over again so I can feel hurt, rejected and ashamed, inferior all over again. The steps suggest praying for the person and wishing them well.	Sab I	3	275	Oct 24, 2013 by neshema2
	using the program...it works! (Preview) So I am going to get my mammogram today finally. It is not what I really want to do but in order to find out good or bad what is wrong I have to do it. The program is working but I tend to look into the future. It sucks that I have to get this done because as I look ahead I feel that my surgery 3 years ago may be reverse...	Hoot Nanny	2	288	Oct 24, 2013 by stilllearning
	Afraid to speak at meetings (Preview) I have been going to face to face meetings for about 3 months now consistantly. I am so afraid to speak at the meetings, it is even hard for me to say my name when we are all introducing ourselves. I dont know why I am so afraid. I get so mad at myself after the meetings (i basically bolt out as soon as its ove...	dragonflys	8	710	Oct 23, 2013 by Sab I
	more crazy making (Preview) Tonight my Mom called to let me know that my Dad is in the hospital from another stroke. I thanked her for the information and asked if she needed anything and she said no and we said good bye. I called my Dad in the intensive care unit and, thankfully, he is going to be ok. My Mom had put a moratorium on my vi...	bud	11	489	Oct 23, 2013 by Peggy7
	Food for thought and thought and thought :) (Preview) Remember when setting your boundaries, make them realistic, one you can and will stick to without hurting your sanity. Your "A" will most likely test these boundaries so be ready to show they are real. Mine tested my first boundary.. about three times he gave up (and boundary is workin...	Iwantthingsback	2	230	Oct 23, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	questions about dating (Preview) I have stepped out into the dating field and I wonder if I am ready. I have met two men off a dating site and by the 2nd date all I have lost all intrest in them. I see red flags everywhere. Either they have bagage from their past they have not dealt with or they are intrested in one thing only..and I find tha...	joker	12	546	Oct 23, 2013 by milkwood
	Good way to start out the day. (Preview) I read an quote this morning and thought it was so fitting for the Al-Anon program: People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If your are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you f...	mongowal	5	238	Oct 23, 2013 by milkwood
	It's gone past our house.... (Preview) and moved on to others in the family. My eldest son has relapsed...his church program stopped working and he has flushed his life down the toilet. My daughter in law was visiting while I was a way from the house and my wife got the current story...you all know what insanity sounds like and looks like...	Jerry F	17	563	Oct 23, 2013 by tiredtonite
	a different kind of A (Preview) Seems like most of the A s I read about on here are causing trouble of some sort all the time, ect,ect. My AH is a different kind. He never missed a day of work in 40 years, never got arrested, doesn't yell or do any of that. Just the opposite, he reads, watches tv, gardens, fishes, golfs. All the while drinki...	islandtime	7	314	Oct 23, 2013 by maryjane
	Read it! :) (Preview) On page of 125 with courage to change, not an easy read for me and I dont really care for it.. This may or not be the best thing, switching gears, but I put down that book and started Getting them sober. What an awesome awesome book. Only on page 100 but brilliant! I will have to get back to courage to chang...	Iwantthingsback	9	400	Oct 23, 2013 by maryjane
	Update (Preview) So my daughter's wedding went well. Her twin sister, my AD, ended up showing up to the wedding at the last minute after saying she wasn't going to attend. I'm glad that I didn't get in the middle of things and let my HP do His work. She was emotional at the ceremony, but we were all glad that she chose to atten...	Green Eyes	5	245	Oct 23, 2013 by hotrod
	Al-ANON vs NA ? (Preview) I am not sure I am in the right place.. as I read through the posts I only see alcohol related posts. My wife is a subscription drug abuser is there a difference, does it matter? I need help.	Simba	16	1070	Oct 23, 2013 by mtnest57
	Strengths of Adult Children of Alcoholics (Preview) Your participation in a research study on the strengths of ACOA (Age 18-25) would be appreciated. Please click link below to complete the online questionnaires. http://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/1405420/Dissertation I would also love to go over your results of this study once I have complete...	jmn_1395	0	452	Oct 22, 2013 by jmn_1395
	New Marriage, Dry Drunk, How Al-Anon Works (Preview) Hi everyone, I really benefited from this chains of honest and supportive posts. I got married 6 weeks ago to an alcoholic with 20+ years of solid AA recovery & sobriety. My husband is usually a wise, patient, supportive man. For the past week, he has been irascible, tired, stressed, and seeing so...	Iamgood	12	504	Oct 22, 2013 by Iamgood
	What's in it for me? (Preview) Hmm. So about a year ago I learned a little bit (just the top of the iceberg really) about not enabling an addict. And how this could make them wake up and get it together. So I set about not enabling and I got pretty good at it. Goodbye bowing, scraping, resentful abused little doormat, hello "Oh, yo...	Melly1248	17	589	Oct 22, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	no time (Preview) OK so I am struggling w/ my pain still. I can't seem to get comfortable so I don't have a lot of time to post these days between the pain & being uncomfortable. I hope I am not being redundant. I feel sometimes that when I feel physical pain, I struggle w/ mental issues. So, I am not going to probably get t...	Hoot Nanny	4	359	Oct 22, 2013 by PP
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.