Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

well it 300am. i last saw my ah at 800am whn he left for work. sure he called a few times. . the last whn our daughter called him at 9pm to see if he was coming home. nope. . was at a buddies. spoke to me and said i wont be late lets plan to leave (for a trip i encouraged) by 930. yup. that should work well. he just dra...

Gaby · Gaby

I have not heard from my son. But I have said to myself.. I cannot help him.. He had to want it!!! I'm saying the serenity prayer every minute. I think about how much my daughter needs me!! I last told my son I live him and will be here for him when he is healthy and sober.. I told him I have lots if faith in god.. N...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Hope all of the family had a wonderful Christmas...ours was nice and then very special. My wife loves to bring me her presents (the ones she gets for me) and then sits and smiles with glee and the command "Okay...stop what you're doing and open these". I have to laugh cause she gets happy...

neshema2 · neshema2

should have put this here.... Thank all of you for stepping up and giving me some great input thus far i have done the following..... called my sponsor who is a ret. police detective from Seattle....she left the force when she and her husb. were working in robbery/homicide division and he got shot to de...

tweety23 · tweety23

I don't mean this in a mean way but I absolutely love the day after Christmas! Because me and my kids get together with family for leftovers lunch without AH and AFIL (is that an acronym?? It is now...) It's like a Do-over. Christmas without the drama. Blessings to all.. I don't post a lot but your share...

pixie · pixie

Yesterday he started drinking around 8:30 am and stopped when he fell asleep or passed out.I never can tell.But when all was said and done he'd had 13-14 pints of beer at least.Today he's already up to 3 pints at least and it's only 9:30.So today isn't going to be any different then any other day he's not a...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Whilst walking the dog today, we passed the library and after reading a sign, my daughter started musing over the word "committee". She babbled about it all the way home and then asked me "what committees can you think of?" and I started to laugh and said "well, it's a bit na...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

im not sure posting will help me right now but i know not what else to do. ive been emailing my sponsor and lisyening to her wisdom yet i remain paralyzed. my relationship with my active ah has just been miserable this month. its always a bad time for him. . details too much to mention and thn all i want is som...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Hi there How do people tackle this subject? The A in my life is my partner (we're not married but good as, been together 8 years, lived together 7 have a 6 year old daughter). I only discovered she was an A a few years ago and it's been a real tough slog. If it wasn't for our daughter I would have walked a long t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will try not to make this post too long...It worked! I wasn't really depressed this Christmas. I didn't get many calls except from my cousin on the answering machine at home. I didn't get to talk to her later. I didn't talk to my mother. That's OK. I spent the day w/ my friends who invited me to dinner. I mi...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

The "disappearances" im sure so many of you have dealt with. The cycles, and circles that have been repeated over and over again. This time, it was a break up on Tuesday, followed by an obsessive amount of calls, very loving conversations, followed by making plans with me, THEN BREAKING TH...

Tasha · Tasha

Setting Boundaries The purpose of setting boundaries is to take care of our self. Being forced to learn how to set boundaries is a vital part of learning to own our self, of learning to respect ourselves, of learning to love ourselves. If we never have to set a boundary, then we will never get in touch wit...

Jerry F · Jerry F

...the Big Island of Hawaii anchored in the Pacific Ocean. Mele Kalikimaka e Hauoli Makahiki Ho...Of course there's no fooling any of you because you know that is Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year said from the center of my spirit with love. I have everything I need with my peace of mind and sereni...

texas yankee · texas yankee

The old me, without AlAnon, would have gone ballistic without a call from my recovering addict on Christmas Day - but thanks to the program, I was able to let it go and remind myself that WHY he didn't call is none of my business and that (hopefully) he's trying to work out his issues in his own way in his own...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

So I was listening to a CD my mom had in her car, driving home from Christmas with my dad, who is a recovering A. This was the first good christmas I ever remember with my dad, and I was thankful on my travels. If you have read any of my posts, I haven't spoken about my dad before, but only of my ABF. At any rate, i...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well Merry Christmas to everyone .. the kids and I scooted down to McD's down the road to catch some internet tonight and see what was shaking .. it's pretty quiet to say the least. The kids are settled with their Christmas gifts and hanging out. We had a really nice Christmas, officially the best Chri...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

at my punishing family for making sure I was not included at Christmas today. i can't even begin to tell you how horrid their psychological abuse has been over the past two years. It is so disturbing it's too hard to hear. i'm also feeling that I am hurting everyone by giving them someone to blame. This do...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

That was as close to a perfect Christmas as it gets. On Christmas Eve, I travelled alone to my mums. A year ago I would have cried all the way there, knowing that I was going to Christmas without ABF. This time I was in a great mood. I took photos out the train window all the way there, called every family memb...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So, Christmas was beautiful .. it was spent divided however because of the family disease .. My mother is dying and I'm watching family come together (the girls) .. and watching the isolation, the defects take them over .. (no judgments, criticisms, i have my own) .. I spent 13 years with an addict an...

nmike · nmike

We had an Alanon speaker last week at a round-up. He read the "Alanon Promises". I thought that he was reading from "Survival to Recovery". Does anyone know where the "Alanon Promises" are? Thanks so much, Nancy -- Edited by nmike at 23:04, 2008-09-21

Gaby · Gaby

Today I got up and celebrated with family. It was hard. After last night and my son saying he is suicidal.. And manipulated me the way he did. I'm am physically and emotionally sick. He told me that he won't call me no more. I told him I love him and to please think about his daughter. I can not stop him from do...

pixie · pixie

But I'll be glad when the holidays are over and things are back to normal.I haven't been on in a long time and guess I just need to vent.My husband the alcoholic is off work for the holidays.Every day he's off work he drinks more.I started playing this little game where I count the beer in the fridge at nigh...

Jen61 · Jen61

It has been an interesting eight years for me and my A. I was in denial for a long time that he really had a problem. I wanted to fix it and really thought I could. I did start going to Al-Anon meetings almost 8 years ago which I do think saved my life and sanity. I have completed step 1 and have two sponsors...

Gaby · Gaby

It's hard .. my son found his way home. He again said he wants to go to the SLE.. So I met up with him to take him and he decided to go to the Salvation Army... Me knowing he may leave.. He said he wants help and he will get it there. This whole time I know I again was manipulated. I told him I love him and I won't lose...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Faith makes all things possible,Hope makes all things work,Love makes all things beautiful,May you have all the three for this Christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I think yesterday I talked about my AA Sponsor. It's good to have him but it's not enough. I really need to be working with a woman - and one in Alanon. More than anything else I'm Alanon qualified. Booze was a long-ago tossed out symptom of my Alanon issues. for the last few weeks I've been reading 10th Ste...

trelani · trelani

Can't believe it has been 17 plus years with my alky. Ask myself over and over why I am still here. Can't honestly say I love him. I care, but don't have love any longer..too many harsh words, pounding on locked doors, name calling, cuss words, filthy angry words and threats. He has been in hospital at lea...

HisMrsWright · HisMrsWright

Merry Christmas! A year ago I would've never thought I would be spending Christmas alone with just my daughter. My husband is still in rehab. He has called me several times and sounds positive. I first had doubts but the past week and a half I have been reading more and more on codependency and alcoholis...

Aloha · Aloha

Not so long ago, during this time of the year, I used to think that the amount of gifts I received from others was a tell tale sign of how loved and appreciated I was. The less gifts I received, the less I was appreciated and the lower my self-esteem dropped. This year has been a really, REALLY rough year for...

Dotty2 · Dotty2

I posted about 9 days ago that I was concerned my son had started drinking again after close to a year recovery. Two days ago I discovered a $100 bill was missing from my purse. Tonight I am missing lottery tickets that were gifts. I went into my son's room and found several of my gift cards that I had rounde...

Aloha · Aloha

I think it's funny, sometimes, when I catch myself and call myself on my wacky thinking. This morning while driving in to work today, my head was taking me on this imaginary "what if" trip. I won't bother with details, because it's all imagined stuff anyhow, but my mind was playing out these...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yes, today is Christmas eve! I am not going to be on here tomorrow. The stress is lifting! My husband & I are getting along. We actually went out for Mexican last night & it felt good to look at him across the table. He is my rock! I don't ever want to take him for granted again. Sometimes he seems lik...

mm830 · mm830

Merry Christmas all. I decided to go to A's family Christmas more for myself than anything, I don't want to ruin this holiday for people who have done a lot for me and my son. Let A ruin it fine, but his mother has been good to me. If A is acting out that's on him, my plan in that case is to leave my son at home so he...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Merry Christmas and thank you God for a solution. no, it's not easy to follow the directions you have given me yes my ego and pride are hurt but I know my family are sick people with no tools like me they get sick sometimes and I know this isn't a determination of who I am! help me respond the way you would wa...

bubblegum · bubblegum

Please join us at 9pm Eastern Standard Time Tuesday - Tonight --- Despite the festive eve for most families, some of us may need some emotional support. If you do, please join me tonight. Topics are Honesty, Hope and Healing.

Gaby · Gaby

My son called me from where he is at.. Still out of state he said he just got out of the mental hospital.. He wanted to committ suicide when he left the ranch and went to a hospital and they admitted him. They released him and he said he has not eaten and wants to find his way back to go back to a sober living and s...

neshema2 · neshema2

I called my A brother...the one who got snarky w/me because i refused a visit from him unless my terms were met...AA....Sobriety....Sustained programme work, THEN we TALK about a visit... His response was the usual...I can zerox it and use it for the next time.... I told him how he treated me and how I w...

neshema2 · neshema2

When i was last on this board....b4 the long MIA trip I did, I had no probs thinking I belonged here bc I was wading in A's....Oh no...not marriage...but my family.....i was letting my brothers and yes, dear friends, "get to me" and so i needed alanon BIG tme then I go AWOL and this last comeba...

neshema2 · neshema2

My pets are out of luck....I am going next door...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Slow down and let go On a road trip up the California coast a while back, I tried to call home only to find that the battery in my cell phone had died. I worried. What if someone needed to get in touch with me? What if there was a problem with the house? What if my family couldn't find me and got worried? I passed...

Gailey · Gailey

Hi all....ordered this book for my recovering A son. Has anyone ever read it. My 13 year old granddaughter has been having a lot of questions regarding alcoholism. This should share with them the 12 steps and why my son goes to so many meetings and just how those meetings help him. I am excited about him r...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Well, they're getting sicker. Father never contacts me or answers any of my calls or emails. Brother and wife won't speak to me. Sent my niece a birthday present and heard nothing back (had no expectations but it's sad how generations of this disease repeats itself) and my mother didn't even call or se...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, Now my focus is mostly on myself and I have done some steps work I see my ultimate goal is my spiritual awakening, if I am spirtually well everything else falls into place. The first three steps are needed throughour my day many people I love and care for do not have a higher power, they do not know th...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

Mine are The Life Recovery Series Christian Co-dependence Did not like: The Anger Workbook - It made me more angry. :)

alice1 · alice1

hello everyone. i hope someone out there can shed some light. i have been married to my husband for 5 years. when i met him, i was just 1 year sober from alcohol, and he was 10 years sober from alcohol and drugs. we have a toddler son and my 16 year old daughter from another relationship. my husband suffers f...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

It's right around the corner.... A new year, a fresh start.... At least for us, if not for the A in our lives. This is my first year and holiday season with you all, and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the compassion and fellowship I've felt since Day One. You are some amazing people! This y...

Gaby · Gaby

I took today off. It was very hard to get up. I went as far as showering brushing my teeth and praying. My intentions was to go to work. I prayed for that strength.. But I had to sleep. I will be going to a face to Face meeting tonight. I say my serenity prayer. I do realize I can not control anything ever when It...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 8 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Please join us and share your thoughtshttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t56034097/alanon-step-8/

Melly1248 · Melly1248

ABF came home tonight in a great mood. "Now I know you might not believe this" he says. "But I've come to a big decision". He sounded very serious. I was all ears and actually a little bit worried. "As of midnight, on New Years Eve, I'm not going to drink or smoke anymore&qu...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

To all my friends at MIP, I hope 2014 is the best year ever.

mm830 · mm830

I am very hopeful today, despite my life repeating the same pattern the usual weekend breakup with the A and other problems I seem to be stuck in. Cathy in AZ said to me last week that things would change when I started to change. So after doing alot of thinking and praying, today I am going to take the bull b...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

After having set up going to christmas with my family, a great weekend, lots of love and affection, then walking off right as im fixing dinner Sunday, my A calls me yesterday and asks me if Im sitting down. I say I am. He blind sides me - we cant be together anymore because he is a monster and a terrible pers...

Grace7 · Grace7

Hi Everyone, I have been gone a Long time. I didn't realize how long until I read my messages. I am an only child and have been the parent to my parents for some time. This past year plus has been extra tough. My Father, my Hero, passed away 3 weeks ago. Two days before my birthday. Funeral two days af...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been having a bout w/ the fact that I don't have the feeling for the holiday that I wish I had. I have been listening to holiday music for about a month now. I even read that listening to the music is healthy. I know that I will change my tune after the weekend. I feel that time will change things. By the w...

Jozie · Jozie

I don't know how A Person Can Cram so Many Blessings & Nightmares into the Same Week, But I Have Managed it! The Disease of Addiction ALWAYS seems to Hit in my Family! It is An Endless Cycle that just Keeps on Coming! My Grandchildren are Heartbroken, and THEY had to lay witness to the Nightmare of the...

gingerfizz · gingerfizz

When AH and I met, it was at a bar. As many ppl in their 20's ish age group do, we started going out on dates ordering dinners and wine, drinking at home, going out to bars, drinking at friends parties, throwing our own parties, etc. Nothing too crazy but all get-togethers would involve booze. We did th...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm hoping someone may have some es&h to offer concerning a child of a sober alcoholic trying to parent their parent. My abf and I have been encountering some controlling behaviors on his eldest daughter's part. I have done a very good job of staying out of it but wish there was a response that wou...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yeah, I only have today. But, I wish it were a different day...I have no choice but live this one. It is winter solstice in North America today. I don't know exactly what day it is all over the world. I happen to be remembering the day my dad died...but only for a little while. I will move on to other things. L...

Gaby · Gaby

The night went well. A lot of my close friends know how I am feeling and what I am going through. I have such supportive people in my life.. I had fun and for a minute just put aside what I was going through. I'm up early and still no word. I say my serenity prayer and I know I am powerless and I know that my son had...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

not sure where to begin or what to say. its been a rough week. im trying to get in the christmas spirit yetvi just cant. i ususlly love the lights and the anticipation of the gifts and all, but thus year i.just feel blah. my ah has been drinking more the past two weeks and really miserable. all we have done is...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	banging head against the same wall. . repeat (Preview) well it 300am. i last saw my ah at 800am whn he left for work. sure he called a few times. . the last whn our daughter called him at 9pm to see if he was coming home. nope. . was at a buddies. spoke to me and said i wont be late lets plan to leave (for a trip i encouraged) by 930. yup. that should work well. he just dra...	Theoceancalls	6	543	Dec 27, 2013 by Tracy
	Taking it one minute at a time.. (Preview) I have not heard from my son. But I have said to myself.. I cannot help him.. He had to want it!!! I'm saying the serenity prayer every minute. I think about how much my daughter needs me!! I last told my son I live him and will be here for him when he is healthy and sober.. I told him I have lots if faith in god.. N...	Gaby	7	375	Dec 27, 2013 by Tracy
	Christmas morning special... (Preview) Hope all of the family had a wonderful Christmas...ours was nice and then very special. My wife loves to bring me her presents (the ones she gets for me) and then sits and smiles with glee and the command "Okay...stop what you're doing and open these". I have to laugh cause she gets happy...	Jerry F	9	429	Dec 27, 2013 by Jerry F
	update on the "stalker" (Preview) should have put this here.... Thank all of you for stepping up and giving me some great input thus far i have done the following..... called my sponsor who is a ret. police detective from Seattle....she left the force when she and her husb. were working in robbery/homicide division and he got shot to de...	neshema2	2	339	Dec 27, 2013 by PP
	My favorite part of Christmas (Preview) I don't mean this in a mean way but I absolutely love the day after Christmas! Because me and my kids get together with family for leftovers lunch without AH and AFIL (is that an acronym?? It is now...) It's like a Do-over. Christmas without the drama. Blessings to all.. I don't post a lot but your share...	tweety23	5	253	Dec 27, 2013 by tweety23
	count down (Preview) Yesterday he started drinking around 8:30 am and stopped when he fell asleep or passed out.I never can tell.But when all was said and done he'd had 13-14 pints of beer at least.Today he's already up to 3 pints at least and it's only 9:30.So today isn't going to be any different then any other day he's not a...	pixie	8	511	Dec 27, 2013 by pixie
	Oh, and lol (Preview) Whilst walking the dog today, we passed the library and after reading a sign, my daughter started musing over the word "committee". She babbled about it all the way home and then asked me "what committees can you think of?" and I started to laugh and said "well, it's a bit na...	Melly1248	8	335	Dec 27, 2013 by mm830
	its just sad to be in this place (Preview) im not sure posting will help me right now but i know not what else to do. ive been emailing my sponsor and lisyening to her wisdom yet i remain paralyzed. my relationship with my active ah has just been miserable this month. its always a bad time for him. . details too much to mention and thn all i want is som...	Theoceancalls	13	509	Dec 27, 2013 by Theoceancalls
	Sex with your A partner (Preview) Hi there How do people tackle this subject? The A in my life is my partner (we're not married but good as, been together 8 years, lived together 7 have a 6 year old daughter). I only discovered she was an A a few years ago and it's been a real tough slog. If it wasn't for our daughter I would have walked a long t...	jitsuka	12	692	Dec 27, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	IT WORKED! (Preview) I will try not to make this post too long...It worked! I wasn't really depressed this Christmas. I didn't get many calls except from my cousin on the answering machine at home. I didn't get to talk to her later. I didn't talk to my mother. That's OK. I spent the day w/ my friends who invited me to dinner. I mi...	Hoot Nanny	4	326	Dec 26, 2013 by Jerry F
	Different behavior pattern for me - same for him (Preview) The "disappearances" im sure so many of you have dealt with. The cycles, and circles that have been repeated over and over again. This time, it was a break up on Tuesday, followed by an obsessive amount of calls, very loving conversations, followed by making plans with me, THEN BREAKING TH...	breamanic665	7	484	Dec 26, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Setting Boundaries (Preview) Setting Boundaries The purpose of setting boundaries is to take care of our self. Being forced to learn how to set boundaries is a vital part of learning to own our self, of learning to respect ourselves, of learning to love ourselves. If we never have to set a boundary, then we will never get in touch wit...	Tasha	7	627	Dec 26, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	From Moku Keawe (Preview) ...the Big Island of Hawaii anchored in the Pacific Ocean. Mele Kalikimaka e Hauoli Makahiki Ho...Of course there's no fooling any of you because you know that is Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year said from the center of my spirit with love. I have everything I need with my peace of mind and sereni...	Jerry F	20	544	Dec 26, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	No "Merry Christmas" call yesterday (Preview) The old me, without AlAnon, would have gone ballistic without a call from my recovering addict on Christmas Day - but thanks to the program, I was able to let it go and remind myself that WHY he didn't call is none of my business and that (hopefully) he's trying to work out his issues in his own way in his own...	texas yankee	5	432	Dec 26, 2013 by texas yankee
	Song lyrics that really got me thinking! :) (Preview) So I was listening to a CD my mom had in her car, driving home from Christmas with my dad, who is a recovering A. This was the first good christmas I ever remember with my dad, and I was thankful on my travels. If you have read any of my posts, I haven't spoken about my dad before, but only of my ABF. At any rate, i...	breamanic665	4	480	Dec 26, 2013 by hotrod
	Merry Christmas and an update :) (Preview) Well Merry Christmas to everyone .. the kids and I scooted down to McD's down the road to catch some internet tonight and see what was shaking .. it's pretty quiet to say the least. The kids are settled with their Christmas gifts and hanging out. We had a really nice Christmas, officially the best Chri...	SerenityRUS	4	352	Dec 26, 2013 by bud
	Feeling angry again (Preview) at my punishing family for making sure I was not included at Christmas today. i can't even begin to tell you how horrid their psychological abuse has been over the past two years. It is so disturbing it's too hard to hear. i'm also feeling that I am hurting everyone by giving them someone to blame. This do...	WorkingThroughIt	12	588	Dec 26, 2013 by bud
	Yay for change. (Preview) That was as close to a perfect Christmas as it gets. On Christmas Eve, I travelled alone to my mums. A year ago I would have cried all the way there, knowing that I was going to Christmas without ABF. This time I was in a great mood. I took photos out the train window all the way there, called every family memb...	Melly1248	6	414	Dec 26, 2013 by likemyheart
	Speechless (Preview) So, Christmas was beautiful .. it was spent divided however because of the family disease .. My mother is dying and I'm watching family come together (the girls) .. and watching the isolation, the defects take them over .. (no judgments, criticisms, i have my own) .. I spent 13 years with an addict an...	MeTwo2	4	431	Dec 26, 2013 by oldergal
	Alanon Promises? (Preview) We had an Alanon speaker last week at a round-up. He read the "Alanon Promises". I thought that he was reading from "Survival to Recovery". Does anyone know where the "Alanon Promises" are? Thanks so much, Nancy -- Edited by nmike at 23:04, 2008-09-21	nmike	12	10597	Dec 26, 2013 by hotrod
	Merry Christmas.. (Preview) Today I got up and celebrated with family. It was hard. After last night and my son saying he is suicidal.. And manipulated me the way he did. I'm am physically and emotionally sick. He told me that he won't call me no more. I told him I love him and to please think about his daughter. I can not stop him from do...	Gaby	1	185	Dec 26, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Merry Christmas (Preview) But I'll be glad when the holidays are over and things are back to normal.I haven't been on in a long time and guess I just need to vent.My husband the alcoholic is off work for the holidays.Every day he's off work he drinks more.I started playing this little game where I count the beer in the fridge at nigh...	pixie	3	282	Dec 25, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Wow, it has been staring me in the face for 8 years, but now I get it. (Preview) It has been an interesting eight years for me and my A. I was in denial for a long time that he really had a problem. I wanted to fix it and really thought I could. I did start going to Al-Anon meetings almost 8 years ago which I do think saved my life and sanity. I have completed step 1 and have two sponsors...	Jen61	6	502	Dec 25, 2013 by Jen61
	Again!! I was manipulated !! (Preview) It's hard .. my son found his way home. He again said he wants to go to the SLE.. So I met up with him to take him and he decided to go to the Salvation Army... Me knowing he may leave.. He said he wants help and he will get it there. This whole time I know I again was manipulated. I told him I love him and I won't lose...	Gaby	8	498	Dec 25, 2013 by Mimi3
	Merry Christmas (Preview) Faith makes all things possible,Hope makes all things work,Love makes all things beautiful,May you have all the three for this Christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS	Cathyinaz	12	403	Dec 25, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Facing Fears (Preview) I think yesterday I talked about my AA Sponsor. It's good to have him but it's not enough. I really need to be working with a woman - and one in Alanon. More than anything else I'm Alanon qualified. Booze was a long-ago tossed out symptom of my Alanon issues. for the last few weeks I've been reading 10th Ste...	WorkingThroughIt	5	411	Dec 25, 2013 by grateful2be
	Go or stay..GO starting to make more sense (Preview) Can't believe it has been 17 plus years with my alky. Ask myself over and over why I am still here. Can't honestly say I love him. I care, but don't have love any longer..too many harsh words, pounding on locked doors, name calling, cuss words, filthy angry words and threats. He has been in hospital at lea...	trelani	3	447	Dec 25, 2013 by neshema2
	Alone on Christmas and OK with that! (Preview) Merry Christmas! A year ago I would've never thought I would be spending Christmas alone with just my daughter. My husband is still in rehab. He has called me several times and sounds positive. I first had doubts but the past week and a half I have been reading more and more on codependency and alcoholis...	HisMrsWright	4	476	Dec 25, 2013 by Heddy
	Gratitude for the self-esteem this program has brought me (Preview) Not so long ago, during this time of the year, I used to think that the amount of gifts I received from others was a tell tale sign of how loved and appreciated I was. The less gifts I received, the less I was appreciated and the lower my self-esteem dropped. This year has been a really, REALLY rough year for...	Aloha	5	345	Dec 25, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	Christmas Eve Upset (Preview) I posted about 9 days ago that I was concerned my son had started drinking again after close to a year recovery. Two days ago I discovered a $100 bill was missing from my purse. Tonight I am missing lottery tickets that were gifts. I went into my son's room and found several of my gift cards that I had rounde...	Dotty2	6	532	Dec 25, 2013 by Debilyn
	Musings of the mind (Preview) I think it's funny, sometimes, when I catch myself and call myself on my wacky thinking. This morning while driving in to work today, my head was taking me on this imaginary "what if" trip. I won't bother with details, because it's all imagined stuff anyhow, but my mind was playing out these...	Aloha	1	246	Dec 25, 2013 by grateful2be
	still hanging in! (Preview) Yes, today is Christmas eve! I am not going to be on here tomorrow. The stress is lifting! My husband & I are getting along. We actually went out for Mexican last night & it felt good to look at him across the table. He is my rock! I don't ever want to take him for granted again. Sometimes he seems lik...	Hoot Nanny	1	210	Dec 25, 2013 by grateful2be
	Doing well... (Preview) Merry Christmas all. I decided to go to A's family Christmas more for myself than anything, I don't want to ruin this holiday for people who have done a lot for me and my son. Let A ruin it fine, but his mother has been good to me. If A is acting out that's on him, my plan in that case is to leave my son at home so he...	mm830	4	265	Dec 25, 2013 by grateful2be
	Feeling much better today even though rejected (Preview) Merry Christmas and thank you God for a solution. no, it's not easy to follow the directions you have given me yes my ego and pride are hurt but I know my family are sick people with no tools like me they get sick sometimes and I know this isn't a determination of who I am! help me respond the way you would wa...	WorkingThroughIt	3	407	Dec 25, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Christmas Eve Meeting - please join me. Topics are Hope, Healing and Honesty. (Preview) Please join us at 9pm Eastern Standard Time Tuesday - Tonight --- Despite the festive eve for most families, some of us may need some emotional support. If you do, please join me tonight. Topics are Honesty, Hope and Healing.	bubblegum	0	283	Dec 24, 2013 by bubblegum
	Need ESH ... (Preview) My son called me from where he is at.. Still out of state he said he just got out of the mental hospital.. He wanted to committ suicide when he left the ranch and went to a hospital and they admitted him. They released him and he said he has not eaten and wants to find his way back to go back to a sober living and s...	Gaby	10	541	Dec 25, 2013 by bud
	rainy days and Mondays, blackouts and promises used to get me down (Preview) I called my A brother...the one who got snarky w/me because i refused a visit from him unless my terms were met...AA....Sobriety....Sustained programme work, THEN we TALK about a visit... His response was the usual...I can zerox it and use it for the next time.... I told him how he treated me and how I w...	neshema2	4	373	Dec 24, 2013 by trelani
	Well i THINK it is finally sinking in, LOL (Preview) When i was last on this board....b4 the long MIA trip I did, I had no probs thinking I belonged here bc I was wading in A's....Oh no...not marriage...but my family.....i was letting my brothers and yes, dear friends, "get to me" and so i needed alanon BIG tme then I go AWOL and this last comeba...	neshema2	4	456	Dec 24, 2013 by trelani
	Some Christmas good advice from the pets (Preview) My pets are out of luck....I am going next door...	neshema2	4	240	Dec 24, 2013 by mm830
	Today's Gift Taken from the AA Board (Preview) Slow down and let go On a road trip up the California coast a while back, I tried to call home only to find that the battery in my cell phone had died. I worried. What if someone needed to get in touch with me? What if there was a problem with the house? What if my family couldn't find me and got worried? I passed...	Cathyinaz	12	518	Dec 24, 2013 by Aloha
	12 Steps 12 Stories: Spiritual messages of recovery for children and the child in you. (Preview) Hi all....ordered this book for my recovering A son. Has anyone ever read it. My 13 year old granddaughter has been having a lot of questions regarding alcoholism. This should share with them the 12 steps and why my son goes to so many meetings and just how those meetings help him. I am excited about him r...	Gailey	2	378	Dec 24, 2013 by Gailey
	Shunned from Christmas (but I have a program) (Preview) Well, they're getting sicker. Father never contacts me or answers any of my calls or emails. Brother and wife won't speak to me. Sent my niece a birthday present and heard nothing back (had no expectations but it's sad how generations of this disease repeats itself) and my mother didn't even call or se...	WorkingThroughIt	7	458	Dec 24, 2013 by PP
	keeping the focus on my spiritual weel being. (Preview) Hi All, Now my focus is mostly on myself and I have done some steps work I see my ultimate goal is my spiritual awakening, if I am spirtually well everything else falls into place. The first three steps are needed throughour my day many people I love and care for do not have a higher power, they do not know th...	Tracy	2	350	Dec 24, 2013 by PP
	What are your favorite workbooks? (Preview) Mine are The Life Recovery Series Christian Co-dependence Did not like: The Anger Workbook - It made me more angry. :)	Tricia911	3	334	Dec 24, 2013 by ilovedogs
	help! husband relapsed after 15 years sobriety relapse alcohol pot marijuana husband wife children kids (Preview) hello everyone. i hope someone out there can shed some light. i have been married to my husband for 5 years. when i met him, i was just 1 year sober from alcohol, and he was 10 years sober from alcohol and drugs. we have a toddler son and my 16 year old daughter from another relationship. my husband suffers f...	alice1	10	9064	Dec 24, 2013 by alice1
	Resolutions, anyone? (hee hee!) (Preview) It's right around the corner.... A new year, a fresh start.... At least for us, if not for the A in our lives. This is my first year and holiday season with you all, and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the compassion and fellowship I've felt since Day One. You are some amazing people! This y...	Raven Juniper	7	531	Dec 24, 2013 by milkwood
	It was tough this morning..! (Preview) I took today off. It was very hard to get up. I went as far as showering brushing my teeth and praying. My intentions was to go to work. I prayed for that strength.. But I had to sleep. I will be going to a face to Face meeting tonight. I say my serenity prayer. I do realize I can not control anything ever when It...	Gaby	5	317	Dec 24, 2013 by el-cee
	Step 8 (Preview) Step 8 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Please join us and share your thoughtshttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t56034097/alanon-step-8/	hotrod	1	759	Dec 24, 2013 by Jerry F
	ABF's big decision. (Preview) ABF came home tonight in a great mood. "Now I know you might not believe this" he says. "But I've come to a big decision". He sounded very serious. I was all ears and actually a little bit worried. "As of midnight, on New Years Eve, I'm not going to drink or smoke anymore&qu...	Melly1248	16	545	Dec 23, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Merry Christmas and Happy New Year (Preview) To all my friends at MIP, I hope 2014 is the best year ever.	mercedes1959	6	268	Dec 23, 2013 by Tricia911
	Might Actually be Getting It (Preview) I am very hopeful today, despite my life repeating the same pattern the usual weekend breakup with the A and other problems I seem to be stuck in. Cathy in AZ said to me last week that things would change when I started to change. So after doing alot of thinking and praying, today I am going to take the bull b...	mm830	9	330	Dec 23, 2013 by Rose50
	REELING! Completely abandoned reality - is this common? Confused/Scared, really need some comfort (Preview) After having set up going to christmas with my family, a great weekend, lots of love and affection, then walking off right as im fixing dinner Sunday, my A calls me yesterday and asks me if Im sitting down. I say I am. He blind sides me - we cant be together anymore because he is a monster and a terrible pers...	breamanic665	16	577	Dec 23, 2013 by Tricia911
	All I Want For Christmas Is......... (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have been gone a Long time. I didn't realize how long until I read my messages. I am an only child and have been the parent to my parents for some time. This past year plus has been extra tough. My Father, my Hero, passed away 3 weeks ago. Two days before my birthday. Funeral two days af...	Grace7	7	466	Dec 23, 2013 by Tricia911
	Christmas cheer or not? (Preview) I have been having a bout w/ the fact that I don't have the feeling for the holiday that I wish I had. I have been listening to holiday music for about a month now. I even read that listening to the music is healthy. I know that I will change my tune after the weekend. I feel that time will change things. By the w...	Hoot Nanny	3	256	Dec 23, 2013 by Tricia911
	Tired of All the Pain! (Preview) I don't know how A Person Can Cram so Many Blessings & Nightmares into the Same Week, But I Have Managed it! The Disease of Addiction ALWAYS seems to Hit in my Family! It is An Endless Cycle that just Keeps on Coming! My Grandchildren are Heartbroken, and THEY had to lay witness to the Nightmare of the...	Jozie	4	605	Dec 23, 2013 by grateful2be
	Am I managing his behavior by my not drinking? (Preview) When AH and I met, it was at a bar. As many ppl in their 20's ish age group do, we started going out on dates ordering dinners and wine, drinking at home, going out to bars, drinking at friends parties, throwing our own parties, etc. Nothing too crazy but all get-togethers would involve booze. We did th...	gingerfizz	9	467	Dec 23, 2013 by gingerfizz
	Guilting Dad (Preview) I'm hoping someone may have some es&h to offer concerning a child of a sober alcoholic trying to parent their parent. My abf and I have been encountering some controlling behaviors on his eldest daughter's part. I have done a very good job of staying out of it but wish there was a response that wou...	tiredtonite	6	431	Dec 23, 2013 by tiredtonite
	wish it were a different day... (Preview) Yeah, I only have today. But, I wish it were a different day...I have no choice but live this one. It is winter solstice in North America today. I don't know exactly what day it is all over the world. I happen to be remembering the day my dad died...but only for a little while. I will move on to other things. L...	Hoot Nanny	7	491	Dec 23, 2013 by DreamsOver
	Christmas party.. (Preview) The night went well. A lot of my close friends know how I am feeling and what I am going through. I have such supportive people in my life.. I had fun and for a minute just put aside what I was going through. I'm up early and still no word. I say my serenity prayer and I know I am powerless and I know that my son had...	Gaby	12	541	Dec 23, 2013 by DreamsOver
	hard time despite all christmas cheer (Preview) not sure where to begin or what to say. its been a rough week. im trying to get in the christmas spirit yetvi just cant. i ususlly love the lights and the anticipation of the gifts and all, but thus year i.just feel blah. my ah has been drinking more the past two weeks and really miserable. all we have done is...	Theoceancalls	7	483	Dec 23, 2013 by ilovedogs
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.