Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

recoveryhope · recoveryhope

She is a master manipulator. Right now you aren't a match for her skill. She doesn't have the tools to get where you are today. This is feedback from my sponsor regarding my end-of-relationship woes due to continuing contact with my ex. It pains me to hear my sponsor say it, but I know it to be true. I r...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Said my AH. I couldn't believe my ears!! Alcohol saved it for that last 10 years or so?? Huh?? this is his explanation:" Every time you yelled at me I would drink and hide out in our room". So I guess what he means is he hid from me instead of fighting. So bizarre. This is the disease talking in ful...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I know my right now as a person who struggle with every day choices and demands that are placed on us when we have the right , our own right to chose what is good for us . Like every other person -no matter what age exsperience or situation , I am rare , unique worthwhile,human being I will make mistakes and wi...

Mum to Belle · Mum to Belle

Hi, my name is Jenny and my husband is an A. I realised this about 2 1/2 years ago and since then have done all the usual things!! (Searched the house for bottles, been through his pockets for receipts, taken away his bank card, taken him to his GP, to AA, to 1-2-1 counselling, to hypnotherapy, to group ab...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I had a great weekend this past weekend. I went on a road-trip with some friends and had a great time. However, it left me feeling sad. On the way home, a friend of mine popped in and hung around my apartment while he waited for his girl...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I love it when my A decides how I'm feeling. 'You seem pissed off.' 'Is something wrong?' 'I just don't get what's with you.' 'I'm just trying to help because I care!' I was just chilling out and making dinner. Projection much? Well, as AlAnon has taught me, not my problem, not something I can fix.

sadsusie · sadsusie

I am moving out soon, and I see divorce not far away. I hate it because I love HIM, its the Disease that destroys me. We are just so not on the same page. He is frustrated because he is being blamed for his disease. Sure I can understand where he gets the feeling of me blaming him...That needs to be and proba...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Ok there are times in the life of a person who is the only human in the house has its moments. No one to bring ya some water at night, help ya find your glasses, no one to say uh your deoderant is NOT working. for me right now, no one said, make sure you use your last week money you save for stuff,you save acouple...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I was sitting here thinking about halt. I'm not angry or lonely but I can and will do something about hungry and tired. I haven't eaten anything for about 24 hours now so I got up and made myself a small bowl of soup. I don't feel hungry but I know I will sick soon if I don't eat something.....so I'm taking...

hmk · hmk

This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I just HAD to share this! So my AH has been gone for maybe 2 or 3 days...kept saying he was coming home...We both know I am moving out (tomorrow)...I have about giving up hope and I have been crying all day....so I had myself a beer. Now, I totally can't handle alcohol, I relax but I really can't do much else!...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Nisa ( my son's kitty ) was with me last night. She laid by my side for a while. She purred and loved my scratching her ears. She noticed my phone with the wind turbines turning in the screen background. She couldn't keep her eyes off it. Then she started to attack, hitting the screen and opening up pr...

Forgiveness82 · Forgiveness82

Hi all. I've been posting on here for a while and have been contemplating posting this. Myself and a few other young women who have been survivors of abuse/addiction and more were featured on MTV about forgiveness.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just saying that today it is very important that I stay positive. I am going through a stalemate right now. I hope that I have the courage to stay where I am. Only God knows what will happen next. Perseverance is the key I think. I am only able to do what I can do. So, w/ the program in tact I can see the light at t...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

It's been a rough winter, and I'm really glad spring has sprung! Even with all the lovely cottonwood fluff floating around and the back yard looking like a jungle of nettle.... Still struggling with codependent and rejection issues, but feeling a little stronger. I've been writing WAIT on my hands f...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well, I'm still under the same roof as ABF. But not in the same way. After his drunken attack 5 weeks ago I was feeling pretty screwed up. I knew something had to change but as I have explained on here before, I sort of had a bit of a PTSD spaz and just kind of lay in bed shaking for a week. I'll never forget that;...

flinn66 · flinn66

Its a while since I have shared here, in many ways my life is good and I generally find a balance in my feelings and emotions, but for the past week I have felt very flat. Whilst its so easy to blame being busy at work or the day to day stresses of life I spent some hours earlier in quiet meditation and contempl...

HervieB · HervieB

Hi there. I am a new member on the Al-Anon family message board. I started attending Al-Anon meetings last month and have recently decided that I am Al-Anon and I would like to continue with the 12 steps. As it is, there are limited meeting times available to me in my area, and I do not yet have a sponsor...

arlivipj · arlivipj

So my husband is a self-proclaimed alcoholic (he knows he is and so do I) that doesn't think his alcoholism is a problem. He thinks that since he doesn't go out and get drunk, works and supports the family and is functional that he doesn't have a problem. His mom, grandma and dad are all alcoholics as we...

Shif · Shif

Hi everyone, It's my first time here. I am married for 15 years - 3 kids - my husband used to smoke weed with his friends but has stopped about 8 years ago. He also used to drink socially and would sometimes drink to the point of throwing up but again that was not very often. In the past few years, I would noti...

chadg · chadg

How do you handle intimacy? I have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with AH. NONE! All my feelings, how he acts, what he says to me etc...has zapped any feelings of intimacy that I can possibly have. I have tried explaining to him why, but stopped he doesn't get it. Seeing him all drunk walking ar...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have been thinking about my actions last night or Reactions really. Selfish actions made out of frustration and bitterness. This was NOT what I was going for. I was soooo proud of myself (still am) for finally standing up for myself and living MY life. I guess that while I was basking in my own glory I f...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

We can work it out! And, that is not just a song title. I am trying so hard to work things out w/ my mom. Over the weekend she talked to my husband about how she always jumps when I need something. Maybe that is true but she does need to one-up me. I guess she thinks that one good turn deserves another. She still...

Truth · Truth

John's Hula Hoop made me think. I am okay staying in my Hula Hoop until I have to advocate for my son. If he was teenager, I would just teach him the tools and trust he could deal with it. I really like "minding my own business" lol Where is the balance in this situation? I still struggle with...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I left my AH a month ago after what he calls a slip up. Over the past few years his slip ups have been worse. He has been in jail once and the hospital 3 times. It was too much for me to handle. The roller coaster of alcoholism was making me crazy. I was always anxious waiting for him to drink again. He has been dr...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

I can't believe how clueless my AH is! He can't be trusted not to drink and drive with the kids so he promised to take our 6 year old skiing, which is 60 miles away. Couldnt understand why I'd go, he said he was sorry, he's in control, read the term verbal vomit and that is so appropriate. So spent day in car an...

ClearTheFog · ClearTheFog

I should have a happy smiley linked to the title but right now I'm just crying. I have been so enmeshed in a very sick relationship that I have been unable to get out of in spite of about 3 years of trying to leave. I was sick when I got into this relationship in the beginning, about a decade ago. I feel that I a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning all Yesterday I spent a lot of the day praying, reading and went to a open AA meeting. My fear is there and I have cried quite a bit yesterday. My son's phone was checked and there is nothing. We can only pray it's off because he when to a safe place and that's a rehab center but if not we don't h...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I sound like I have some isms and may be codependent. I love him already and feel like after my first session he will be able to help me through some things. He knows of both programs and our session was awesome. So glad to be doing the work again! I only get an al-anon meeting every other Tuesday night with w...

Baffled · Baffled

There are a bunch of people who have turned our house into a "party shack" and won't leave me alone. This might be a common problem. They are claiming I am harassing them when I try to get them to leave and that I am creating a chaotic environment. Arrrgh. I have already gotten into trouble for y...

John · John

Welcome to Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums! Twelve Step recovery programs can be a life sustaining substance to many people, just as water is.You can get a cup full or a barrel full. There is plenty here to take as much as you want or need.If you leave too quickly and don't get enough, you are...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

We don't talk about the finances of an alcoholic's consequences on here too much, or maybe I just hadn't noticesd it untilit really hit me this week, when we had the hearing for 2nd DUI. I wanted to write this for two reasons: get it off my chest with someone besides recovering AW, and so other folks can...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I'm really looking for some help here guidance I should say . I got my self in a pickle. My regrets denial shame guilt has ruled my life for as long as I can remember . I took my books out again reading the Alaon on way to me it's the only way I know I can find a grounded way to living my life the way I should be and tr...

el-cee · el-cee

I love this recovery program, someone said 'Its a simple program and its us who make it complicated' which is really true for me, its the simple things that have the most power. Im such a grateful member of Alanon and I love to read the wisdom of old timers who can speak this language really well as I can lea...

New member here (Very lengthy post) · NatalieP

Please forgive any mistakes I may make. Im not only new to this group, Im new to posting anything in a forum. I am hoping to find some support until I can get enough courage to actually attend a meeting in person. The closest one to me does not meet until next Saturday, and Im feeling so desperate right n...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It seems that things are winding down and not so much .. stbax has been laid off. Well, .. I'm not getting divorced while he's laid off .. lol .. how stupid do I look? Apparently, I have "STUPID" written across my forehead with these atty's and it just blows my mind. I'm thinking that my May t...

Truth · Truth

Why is emotional abuse so prevalent in recovering alcoholics if they are practicing a program?

ardy9 · ardy9

So I've been getting serious with a very cool girl who is the love of my life and is a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober a little over a year and I have only known her during this time. I would like to learn the best ways to support her because I want to be there for her in all walks of life; however, I fran...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I am so pleased today. I have had a handful of small challenges and I have reacted differently to them. I've been standing up for myself and standing my ground and doing what *I* want. I had secured a new place to live on Friday, so that was certainly a beginning. My AH broke our "deal" by being...

cmb · cmb

Good morning, Here is my story. I was married to an A for 12 years. Had 2 sons with him. I lived in his crazy world and at first I tried to hide his alcholism from my family. He would regularly disappoint the three of us. Through many arrests and jail terms, the final straw for me was when he was arrested f...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am sorry to say but I am tired of my mom using me. She once again, only is in it for herself. I noticed that the last few days she hasn't called or anything but today she needs me to get into her email so she can once again, get her tickets for her trip down to see my family. Again, basically she is kicking me to t...

Jkphotogal · Jkphotogal

I'm new to this board, but not to Al Anon. I try to attend meetings when I can. My story is probably similar to many of you. I've been married for 19 years, two girls ages 12 and 15. My AH has progressively gotten worse over time, but has not hit rock bottom yet, so still denies that he has a problem. He drin...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Not all alcoholics are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. Not all Alanons are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. And actually, every human being, alcoholic or alanon, has both of these personality traits. Its just about knowing what your percentage...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Feeling gratitude & not expressing it is like wrapping a present & not giving it! Kathleen

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I just got off the phone with my X's wife and she said they kept my son for 12 hours before releasing him. They also asked him to go to detox but he refused. This makes me feel a little better ( WHAT?) he didn't leave in such a bad state even though he will go down pretty quickly unless he stabilizes his syst...

hmk · hmk

This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...

NavySealWife · NavySealWife

I'M trying to figure out when I will be able to trust my AH after his big relapse five weeks ago and still drinking one or two days a week. I don't trust him with nothing not even the money he makes that goes in our joint banking account because I'm always wondering if he will drinking our money away. I try to g...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I'm watching a TV showe where someone in recovery is talking about feeling "tricked" or getting something different than they thought or were told theyd get. anyone have ideas on where this comes from? I'm coming up with this: feeling let down by parents or other authority figures. Can y...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Just got a text message from my X. My son was not right so he took him to the hospital to find out he's been drinking and his BAC was .507. They came home and my X asked for my son keys so he can sober up before he leaves but my son refused and is out driving. My son is officially homeless... First I pray he d...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am under a lot of stress. It seems that I will not get health insurance until they fix a problem I am having getting it. I am waiting for a response & am on pins & needles. I would rather not say what the real issue is because I feel that it is private & that mentioning it would be a bad idea even on...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Well, It seems like it is time for me to make my move. I knowingly agreed to give him one more chance. He made an attempt to not drink, was 4 days sober, and chose to hang out with people/environments who temp him. He did not come home last night. I am no longer willing to wait for him to change and suffer the d...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I just wanted to mention what al anon has given me. It has given me a choice. We can choose whether or not to live with an alcoholic. Nowhere in the literature that I have read does it say "you must live with an alcoholic". Al anon gives us tools to live by. Tools to use whether the alcoholic is sti...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello make this quick . I go back to Therepy next week with hope he can help me with my 4 the step . Dr does have knowledge in the 12 program both sided of st. But he will help me better understand why my inventory is so hard for me . Last night looking at old photos and I seen letters of my spouse inventory he had d...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

At my counseling session today I talked about what happened Saturday - ah was drinking with daughter in car. She told me to report it social services- it seems like the time frame would be off (it was almost a week ago, in my experience they also don't do anything with reports) and motive would be trying t...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I a grateful member of al-anon. I had an experience today. It was an experience where I set expectations and wound up disapointed. I thought one thing, while the other thought something else. The entire time I could sense that something within me was a miss. I wasn...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I think this is all right to discuss here. I don't know if this lady is an A or not (although I have my suspicions) but she sure behaves like one and dealing with her is making me as crazy as she is!! Remember cat lady? Well she hasn't gone away in spite of my wishing and hoping. As her pink letters in the mailbo...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Hmm. For some reason my (windows 8.1) laptop only displays MIP in a teeny tiny font that is so small I can barely make it out. Like when i was at the optometrist the other day and I had to try to read the bottom line of letters from across the room!! I've never had this issue on my desktop which runs W7 but can'...

Akavanagh · Akavanagh

I broke down last night and told AB that while I'm not SUPPOSED TO care, it gets old coming home to his bloodshot half open eyes every night after work. I get tired of always having to be the bad guy. It gets exhausting telling myself over and over "It's none of my business, its out of my control, don't...

Debilyn · Debilyn

this was on facebook.The denial breaks my heart. This gal waited years to be "blessed" by the right person to be her husband. I have been so heartached inside for her for many years.She was/is the best mom. Her kids, all three are wonderful people.She can be such a light in any group.I though...

LucyLynn · LucyLynn

I am a newbie to alanon and I've been doing better at trying to focus on me and my kids. Last night was a huge set back. My husband got home from work and right away i noticed him acting intoxicated. I quickly put our kids to bed and he got in the shower. I know i shouldn't do this but while he's in the shower I st...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Sponsor feedback (Preview) She is a master manipulator. Right now you aren't a match for her skill. She doesn't have the tools to get where you are today. This is feedback from my sponsor regarding my end-of-relationship woes due to continuing contact with my ex. It pains me to hear my sponsor say it, but I know it to be true. I r...	recoveryhope	4	195	Mar 26, 2014 by DavidG
	Alcohol actually SAVED my marriage... (Preview) Said my AH. I couldn't believe my ears!! Alcohol saved it for that last 10 years or so?? Huh?? this is his explanation:" Every time you yelled at me I would drink and hide out in our room". So I guess what he means is he hid from me instead of fighting. So bizarre. This is the disease talking in ful...	Newlife girl	6	426	Mar 26, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	I know my rights (Preview) I know my right now as a person who struggle with every day choices and demands that are placed on us when we have the right , our own right to chose what is good for us . Like every other person -no matter what age exsperience or situation , I am rare , unique worthwhile,human being I will make mistakes and wi...	Wisdom67	7	379	Mar 26, 2014 by hotrod
	Hello (Preview) Hi, my name is Jenny and my husband is an A. I realised this about 2 1/2 years ago and since then have done all the usual things!! (Searched the house for bottles, been through his pockets for receipts, taken away his bank card, taken him to his GP, to AA, to 1-2-1 counselling, to hypnotherapy, to group ab...	Mum to Belle	4	338	Mar 26, 2014 by Mum to Belle
	Feeling Sad/Ashamed to show people who I really am. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I had a great weekend this past weekend. I went on a road-trip with some friends and had a great time. However, it left me feeling sad. On the way home, a friend of mine popped in and hung around my apartment while he waited for his girl...	slogan_jim	8	464	Mar 26, 2014 by sadsusie
	Whose emotions are these? (Preview) I love it when my A decides how I'm feeling. 'You seem pissed off.' 'Is something wrong?' 'I just don't get what's with you.' 'I'm just trying to help because I care!' I was just chilling out and making dinner. Projection much? Well, as AlAnon has taught me, not my problem, not something I can fix.	SpiderArcana	8	409	Mar 26, 2014 by flinn66
	My AH is tired of being "blamed" for his "cancer" (Preview) I am moving out soon, and I see divorce not far away. I hate it because I love HIM, its the Disease that destroys me. We are just so not on the same page. He is frustrated because he is being blamed for his disease. Sure I can understand where he gets the feeling of me blaming him...That needs to be and proba...	sadsusie	11	876	Mar 26, 2014 by flinn66
	I am in withdrawal going from calm, serene sitting still, to psychotic ugh (Preview) Ok there are times in the life of a person who is the only human in the house has its moments. No one to bring ya some water at night, help ya find your glasses, no one to say uh your deoderant is NOT working. for me right now, no one said, make sure you use your last week money you save for stuff,you save acouple...	Debilyn	8	496	Mar 26, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Halt (Preview) I was sitting here thinking about halt. I'm not angry or lonely but I can and will do something about hungry and tired. I haven't eaten anything for about 24 hours now so I got up and made myself a small bowl of soup. I don't feel hungry but I know I will sick soon if I don't eat something.....so I'm taking...	Cathyinaz	14	302	Mar 26, 2014 by AngelicH57
	Is he an Alcoholic? What do you think? (Preview) This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...	hmk	6	394	Mar 26, 2014 by milkwood
	haha..IRONY..haha (Preview) I just HAD to share this! So my AH has been gone for maybe 2 or 3 days...kept saying he was coming home...We both know I am moving out (tomorrow)...I have about giving up hope and I have been crying all day....so I had myself a beer. Now, I totally can't handle alcohol, I relax but I really can't do much else!...	sadsusie	6	209	Mar 25, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Morning (Preview) Nisa ( my son's kitty ) was with me last night. She laid by my side for a while. She purred and loved my scratching her ears. She noticed my phone with the wind turbines turning in the screen background. She couldn't keep her eyes off it. Then she started to attack, hitting the screen and opening up pr...	Cathyinaz	12	375	Mar 25, 2014 by Rose50
	Forgiveness. (Preview) Hi all. I've been posting on here for a while and have been contemplating posting this. Myself and a few other young women who have been survivors of abuse/addiction and more were featured on MTV about forgiveness.	Forgiveness82	3	323	Mar 25, 2014 by dayatatime123
	I have to stay positive; Let go & let God! (Preview) Just saying that today it is very important that I stay positive. I am going through a stalemate right now. I hope that I have the courage to stay where I am. Only God knows what will happen next. Perseverance is the key I think. I am only able to do what I can do. So, w/ the program in tact I can see the light at t...	Hoot Nanny	1	212	Mar 25, 2014 by hotrod
	QTIP & WAIT (Preview) It's been a rough winter, and I'm really glad spring has sprung! Even with all the lovely cottonwood fluff floating around and the back yard looking like a jungle of nettle.... Still struggling with codependent and rejection issues, but feeling a little stronger. I've been writing WAIT on my hands f...	Raven Juniper	8	282	Mar 25, 2014 by Inrecovery
	Stupid stuff I am feeling. (Preview) Well, I'm still under the same roof as ABF. But not in the same way. After his drunken attack 5 weeks ago I was feeling pretty screwed up. I knew something had to change but as I have explained on here before, I sort of had a bit of a PTSD spaz and just kind of lay in bed shaking for a week. I'll never forget that;...	Melly1248	10	492	Mar 25, 2014 by Melly1248
	Feeling the feelings (Preview) Its a while since I have shared here, in many ways my life is good and I generally find a balance in my feelings and emotions, but for the past week I have felt very flat. Whilst its so easy to blame being busy at work or the day to day stresses of life I spent some hours earlier in quiet meditation and contempl...	flinn66	6	466	Mar 25, 2014 by flinn66
	New Member Introduction -- Request for 4th step Experiences/Activities new member courage to change step 4 (Preview) Hi there. I am a new member on the Al-Anon family message board. I started attending Al-Anon meetings last month and have recently decided that I am Al-Anon and I would like to continue with the 12 steps. As it is, there are limited meeting times available to me in my area, and I do not yet have a sponsor...	HervieB	5	1908	Mar 25, 2014 by Jerry F
	Very confused (Preview) So my husband is a self-proclaimed alcoholic (he knows he is and so do I) that doesn't think his alcoholism is a problem. He thinks that since he doesn't go out and get drunk, works and supports the family and is functional that he doesn't have a problem. His mom, grandma and dad are all alcoholics as we...	arlivipj	11	374	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	Is my husband an alcoholic? (Preview) Hi everyone, It's my first time here. I am married for 15 years - 3 kids - my husband used to smoke weed with his friends but has stopped about 8 years ago. He also used to drink socially and would sometimes drink to the point of throwing up but again that was not very often. In the past few years, I would noti...	Shif	10	475	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	Intimacy (Preview) How do you handle intimacy? I have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with AH. NONE! All my feelings, how he acts, what he says to me etc...has zapped any feelings of intimacy that I can possibly have. I have tried explaining to him why, but stopped he doesn't get it. Seeing him all drunk walking ar...	chadg	11	477	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	And The pendulum swings...... (Preview) I have been thinking about my actions last night or Reactions really. Selfish actions made out of frustration and bitterness. This was NOT what I was going for. I was soooo proud of myself (still am) for finally standing up for myself and living MY life. I guess that while I was basking in my own glory I f...	sadsusie	6	425	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	we can work it out! (Preview) We can work it out! And, that is not just a song title. I am trying so hard to work things out w/ my mom. Over the weekend she talked to my husband about how she always jumps when I need something. Maybe that is true but she does need to one-up me. I guess she thinks that one good turn deserves another. She still...	Hoot Nanny	1	182	Mar 24, 2014 by mm830
	Still trying to learn the new balance.... (Preview) John's Hula Hoop made me think. I am okay staying in my Hula Hoop until I have to advocate for my son. If he was teenager, I would just teach him the tools and trust he could deal with it. I really like "minding my own business" lol Where is the balance in this situation? I still struggle with...	Truth	23	536	Mar 24, 2014 by Truth
	I have to keep reminding myself...but why?? (Preview) I left my AH a month ago after what he calls a slip up. Over the past few years his slip ups have been worse. He has been in jail once and the hospital 3 times. It was too much for me to handle. The roller coaster of alcoholism was making me crazy. I was always anxious waiting for him to drink again. He has been dr...	Newlife girl	12	397	Mar 24, 2014 by Beatrice
	Just venting before I explode (Preview) I can't believe how clueless my AH is! He can't be trusted not to drink and drive with the kids so he promised to take our 6 year old skiing, which is 60 miles away. Couldnt understand why I'd go, he said he was sorry, he's in control, read the term verbal vomit and that is so appropriate. So spent day in car an...	Kerrymom	4	505	Mar 24, 2014 by Kerrymom
	The hope of finding healthier people (Preview) I should have a happy smiley linked to the title but right now I'm just crying. I have been so enmeshed in a very sick relationship that I have been unable to get out of in spite of about 3 years of trying to leave. I was sick when I got into this relationship in the beginning, about a decade ago. I feel that I a...	ClearTheFog	14	438	Mar 24, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	Fear (Preview) Good Morning all Yesterday I spent a lot of the day praying, reading and went to a open AA meeting. My fear is there and I have cried quite a bit yesterday. My son's phone was checked and there is nothing. We can only pray it's off because he when to a safe place and that's a rehab center but if not we don't h...	Cathyinaz	17	466	Mar 24, 2014 by debhud
	My new counselor as of today said........ (Preview) I sound like I have some isms and may be codependent. I love him already and feel like after my first session he will be able to help me through some things. He knows of both programs and our session was awesome. So glad to be doing the work again! I only get an al-anon meeting every other Tuesday night with w...	Breakingfree	10	582	Mar 23, 2014 by Breakingfree
	A's drinking buddies won't leave (Preview) There are a bunch of people who have turned our house into a "party shack" and won't leave me alone. This might be a common problem. They are claiming I am harassing them when I try to get them to leave and that I am creating a chaotic environment. Arrrgh. I have already gotten into trouble for y...	Baffled	7	754	Mar 23, 2014 by tommywhite
	Recovery is like a vast supply of water.... (Preview) *Welcome to Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums!* *Twelve Step recovery programs can be a life sustaining substance to many people, just as water is.You can get a cup full or a barrel full. There is plenty here to take as much as you want or need.****If you leave too quickly and don't get enough, you are...*	John	6	239	Mar 23, 2014 by lightblue2
	Financial toll of alcoholism (Preview) We don't talk about the finances of an alcoholic's consequences on here too much, or maybe I just hadn't noticesd it untilit really hit me this week, when we had the hearing for 2nd DUI. I wanted to write this for two reasons: get it off my chest with someone besides recovering AW, and so other folks can...	KennyFenderjazz	16	576	Mar 23, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Guilt shame won't let be live (Preview) I'm really looking for some help here guidance I should say . I got my self in a pickle. My regrets denial shame guilt has ruled my life for as long as I can remember . I took my books out again reading the Alaon on way to me it's the only way I know I can find a grounded way to living my life the way I should be and tr...	Wisdom67	11	427	Mar 23, 2014 by hotrod
	Minding my own business (Preview) I love this recovery program, someone said 'Its a simple program and its us who make it complicated' which is really true for me, its the simple things that have the most power. Im such a grateful member of Alanon and I love to read the wisdom of old timers who can speak this language really well as I can lea...	el-cee	9	524	Mar 23, 2014 by Truth
	New member here (Very lengthy post) (Preview) Please forgive any mistakes I may make. Im not only new to this group, Im new to posting anything in a forum. I am hoping to find some support until I can get enough courage to actually attend a meeting in person. The closest one to me does not meet until next Saturday, and Im feeling so desperate right n...	NatalieP	6	476	Mar 23, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Things winding down and not .. (Preview) It seems that things are winding down and not so much .. stbax has been laid off. Well, .. I'm not getting divorced while he's laid off .. lol .. how stupid do I look? Apparently, I have "STUPID" written across my forehead with these atty's and it just blows my mind. I'm thinking that my May t...	SerenityRUS	6	413	Mar 23, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Emotional Abuse ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) Why is emotional abuse so prevalent in recovering alcoholics if they are practicing a program?	Truth	92	1924	Mar 23, 2014 by Truth
	Supporting a Significant Other (Preview) So I've been getting serious with a very cool girl who is the love of my life and is a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober a little over a year and I have only known her during this time. I would like to learn the best ways to support her because I want to be there for her in all walks of life; however, I fran...	ardy9	3	551	Mar 23, 2014 by hotrod
	I feel like I can take my life back (Preview) I am so pleased today. I have had a handful of small challenges and I have reacted differently to them. I've been standing up for myself and standing my ground and doing what I want. I had secured a new place to live on Friday, so that was certainly a beginning. My AH broke our "deal" by being...	sadsusie	7	495	Mar 23, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Oops I did it again! (Preview) Good morning, Here is my story. I was married to an A for 12 years. Had 2 sons with him. I lived in his crazy world and at first I tried to hide his alcholism from my family. He would regularly disappoint the three of us. Through many arrests and jail terms, the final straw for me was when he was arrested f...	cmb	3	368	Mar 23, 2014 by hopes314
	my mom is using me again... (Preview) I am sorry to say but I am tired of my mom using me. She once again, only is in it for herself. I noticed that the last few days she hasn't called or anything but today she needs me to get into her email so she can once again, get her tickets for her trip down to see my family. Again, basically she is kicking me to t...	Hoot Nanny	2	323	Mar 23, 2014 by John
	New Here and Need Help (Preview) I'm new to this board, but not to Al Anon. I try to attend meetings when I can. My story is probably similar to many of you. I've been married for 19 years, two girls ages 12 and 15. My AH has progressively gotten worse over time, but has not hit rock bottom yet, so still denies that he has a problem. He drin...	Jkphotogal	14	435	Mar 23, 2014 by John
	Recovery vs Working For God (Preview) Not all alcoholics are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. Not all Alanons are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. And actually, every human being, alcoholic or alanon, has both of these personality traits. Its just about knowing what your percentage...	WorkingThroughIt	11	525	Mar 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	quote (Preview) Feeling gratitude & not expressing it is like wrapping a present & not giving it! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	2	136	Mar 22, 2014 by el-cee
	He went away OK (Preview) I just got off the phone with my X's wife and she said they kept my son for 12 hours before releasing him. They also asked him to go to detox but he refused. This makes me feel a little better ( WHAT?) he didn't leave in such a bad state even though he will go down pretty quickly unless he stabilizes his syst...	Cathyinaz	14	561	Mar 22, 2014 by AngelicH57
	Is he an Alcoholic? (Preview) This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...	hmk	4	320	Mar 22, 2014 by Jerry F
	Trying to regain trust .... (Preview) I'M trying to figure out when I will be able to trust my AH after his big relapse five weeks ago and still drinking one or two days a week. I don't trust him with nothing not even the money he makes that goes in our joint banking account because I'm always wondering if he will drinking our money away. I try to g...	NavySealWife	5	459	Mar 21, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Fear of "Being Duped" - your experience please (Preview) I'm watching a TV showe where someone in recovery is talking about feeling "tricked" or getting something different than they thought or were told theyd get. anyone have ideas on where this comes from? I'm coming up with this: feeling let down by parents or other authority figures. Can y...	WorkingThroughIt	7	576	Mar 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	He's Homeless (Preview) Just got a text message from my X. My son was not right so he took him to the hospital to find out he's been drinking and his BAC was .507. They came home and my X asked for my son keys so he can sober up before he leaves but my son refused and is out driving. My son is officially homeless... First I pray he d...	Cathyinaz	30	560	Mar 21, 2014 by Breakingfree
	a reason to post (Preview) I am under a lot of stress. It seems that I will not get health insurance until they fix a problem I am having getting it. I am waiting for a response & am on pins & needles. I would rather not say what the real issue is because I feel that it is private & that mentioning it would be a bad idea even on...	Hoot Nanny	3	211	Mar 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	My mind may be approaching serenity but my BODY is NOT (Preview) Well, It seems like it is time for me to make my move. I knowingly agreed to give him one more chance. He made an attempt to not drink, was 4 days sober, and chose to hang out with people/environments who temp him. He did not come home last night. I am no longer willing to wait for him to change and suffer the d...	sadsusie	5	462	Mar 21, 2014 by Jen61
	Al anon gives us a choice (Preview) I just wanted to mention what al anon has given me. It has given me a choice. We can choose whether or not to live with an alcoholic. Nowhere in the literature that I have read does it say "you must live with an alcoholic". Al anon gives us tools to live by. Tools to use whether the alcoholic is sti...	Newlife girl	4	189	Mar 21, 2014 by Jen61
	In the beginning there was honesty (Preview) Hello make this quick . I go back to Therepy next week with hope he can help me with my 4 the step . Dr does have knowledge in the 12 program both sided of st. But he will help me better understand why my inventory is so hard for me . Last night looking at old photos and I seen letters of my spouse inventory he had d...	Wisdom67	2	285	Mar 21, 2014 by hotrod
	Checking my motive? (Preview) At my counseling session today I talked about what happened Saturday - ah was drinking with daughter in car. She told me to report it social services- it seems like the time frame would be off (it was almost a week ago, in my experience they also don't do anything with reports) and motive would be trying t...	Kerrymom	6	348	Mar 21, 2014 by el-cee
	Be Bold! (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I a grateful member of al-anon. I had an experience today. It was an experience where I set expectations and wound up disapointed. I thought one thing, while the other thought something else. The entire time I could sense that something within me was a miss. I wasn...	slogan_jim	9	215	Mar 21, 2014 by el-cee
	Dealing with crazy people? Warning....contains a lot of pointless venting.... (Preview) I think this is all right to discuss here. I don't know if this lady is an A or not (although I have my suspicions) but she sure behaves like one and dealing with her is making me as crazy as she is!! Remember cat lady? Well she hasn't gone away in spite of my wishing and hoping. As her pink letters in the mailbo...	Melly1248	18	617	Mar 21, 2014 by bud
	teeny tiny text? Help!! (Preview) Hmm. For some reason my (windows 8.1) laptop only displays MIP in a teeny tiny font that is so small I can barely make it out. Like when i was at the optometrist the other day and I had to try to read the bottom line of letters from across the room!! I've never had this issue on my desktop which runs W7 but can'...	Melly1248	5	236	Mar 21, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Need some kind words... (Preview) I broke down last night and told AB that while I'm not SUPPOSED TO care, it gets old coming home to his bloodshot half open eyes every night after work. I get tired of always having to be the bad guy. It gets exhausting telling myself over and over "It's none of my business, its out of my control, don't...	Akavanagh	9	304	Mar 21, 2014 by tortuga
	ah denial, so painful, gotta break it to get well (Preview) this was on facebook.The denial breaks my heart. This gal waited years to be "blessed" by the right person to be her husband. I have been so heartached inside for her for many years.She was/is the best mom. Her kids, all three are wonderful people.She can be such a light in any group.I though...	Debilyn	4	419	Mar 21, 2014 by Truth
	Hopeless...getting worse. (Preview) I am a newbie to alanon and I've been doing better at trying to focus on me and my kids. Last night was a huge set back. My husband got home from work and right away i noticed him acting intoxicated. I quickly put our kids to bed and he got in the shower. I know i shouldn't do this but while he's in the shower I st...	LucyLynn	5	360	Mar 21, 2014 by Newlife girl
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.