Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I have a share...and if you make it through reading this, I have a question at the end...LOL! Last night was a close call and I don't want to go through any more nights worrying about what the A is going to do. This past week I had decided to take the financial loss and let the A take the Jeep and all the tools I'...

Truth · Truth

I just went on the website that promotes the program we went through for parenting. I read the "success" story. It is my literally. I am really sad because I realized the very program that was "suppose" to help us was the program that got me to let go of my boundaries and the abuse st...

tortuga · tortuga

hello, am currently going to huge mood swings, from courage one second to feelings of despair in the next. I can't see my life unfold, am having a huge panic attack. and it's for me a dangerous place to be insitting in isolation, there is not much to do for the moment, other than reaching and sitting it thr...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

The last few days I have felt really depressed. I am feeling jealous of people who have a good marriage. I am mad at a co-worker who has lots of money and asks me questions about my family life. I am feeling like a failure because I am in a second failed marriage. My credit score is BAD...just looked it up a fe...

Truth · Truth

My ex-A asked for a visit tomorrow and Saturday. I said no because we have plans Friday and Saturday. He thinks I am not allowed to say no. I just no I don't think so and I am allowed to say no as he will not agree to a schedule. He told me he cannot have a schedule because of his work. I said well then I guess you wi...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Well I have to say and I always new alcohol was bad. The disease it's self was brutal . This is nothing new to me . I think I'm just more open to realize that this is one tough habit to kick. I don't despise the drinker anymore , for me to cope and get threw this sickness I had to put myself in there shoes to see how...

Jerry F · Jerry F

to bring myself closer to the family look. All the beautiful flowers. Hawaii has only two seasons so we FLOWER!! all the time. This avatar is of my favorite flower which comes in two colors. I have the red one in file and show this, the Jade version. It is a very stunning flower in shape, size, color...

mynewlife · mynewlife

I started my recovery in al-anon 5 months ago and I can't express how grateful I am for this program. My brother has been a non-functioning alcoholic for the past 18 years, he will soon be 35 years old. He has lived with my parents his entire life except for probably 2-3 years and has only worked during tho...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

MAY 8 Among the many gifts we are offered in Al-Anon is freedom. When we are new in Al-Anon, we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair. Working with the program offers us release as we learn to understand the true nature of our situation. the gifts of Al-Anon are not without a price tag; freedom, f...

Gaby · Gaby

Today I came to work.. I'm ok at this moment. I am praying to god that he guides my son through his journey and praying for peace. I truly have to say to myself over and over that I did not make choices for my son. He made his own. I have cleaned my side of the street with him and apologized for pain I caused him, b...

bubba · bubba

Hi, I am in need of some help, my son is in rehab, he has put it in gods hands and let go.mthe problem is I cant seen to do the same. Im so afraid hes going to relapse. I feel like I need to be in control of everything. Hes 26 years old and I feel like hes 10. How do I do this???????????

Melly1248 · Melly1248

OK I'm going to try to put this into perspective. Excuse the boring story and repeat details lol. When I post on here I try to talk about what I am doing. Then when things are crazy with A I vent sometimes. The result is that I present myself as "trying so hard" and A as a "monster". I gu...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I was at a convention this past weekend and, unfortunately, had to witness a couple of my fellow club members demonstrate some pretty dysfunctional behavior after drinking from sun up to sundown. A fellow member, also witnessed their antics and suggested this mantra: "This is not my circus, I...

Gaby · Gaby

Today I found out my son lost his job due to again his addiction. Last year today was when he hit bottom and left to rehab on may 9.13. I am tired of being sick and tired. I again feel like I lost my son to his disease. I know I can't do nothing about it. The three C's. Through his adult life I have been dealing wit...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57511576/alanon-step-6/

Marina0719 · Marina0719

Good morning. I have never really spoke with anyone regarding this, and the reason being is that I was in denial that my husband had a problem- he was very manipulating and convincing. We got married young and the binge drinking was portrayed as something "all college kids do". As time prog...

afglin · afglin

When I walked in my first Alanon meeting over 21 years ago, I had so much fear and anger. Today I found a quote about fear. I plan to write it in my Alanon book. "Hope is stronger than fear." Another quote is "courage is fear that has said its prayers." That one helped me over the year...

neshema2 · neshema2

Well, I thought I would stop by to say hello and check up on my fellow alanoners..... May spring bring us all new and good beginnings.........

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have my last final today and I will go spend time with her tomorrow. She seems to be fading fast and can barely stay awake when I call to check on her. They never had kids and her husband is so sweet and staying right by her side. I have so much I want to say to this wonderful Spirit, I just can't imagine my life...

Sunrise · Sunrise

I've been reading much about detachment lately. I'm trying not to let my AH's behavior get unhelpful reactions out of me. I'm trying to keep my mouth closed. I'm trying not to argue. Trying to say "you may be right." Then last night I engaged. My son wanted to watch tv. AH, son and I wer...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am more than making it--I am thriving. I love to get on here when I feel excellent!

karen18 · karen18

I went to my first Al-Anon meeting about 30 years ago. I had no idea the impact that Al-Anon would have on my whole life. I am an AUTHOR and have written a memoir of sorts detailing the painful and deliberate steps that I took over many years to finally recover from the disease of co-dependency.

sadsusie · sadsusie

Thank you Kenny for reminding me that I WILL still need to do my own therapy on these boards and continue my meetings. I had myself a mini fear session last night. I took it out on my "recovering" AH in not a particularly harsh way, but it was NOT how I want to feel or act or react. I was afraid of los...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

lol, wow. Here's a lesson in not trying to predict outcomes! I mentioned that A appears to be really crashing and burning in the real world and that I am just letting the crisis happen and doing what I need to for my girl and myself including job-hunting, house-hunting etc. I'm trying to make REAL choic...

neshema2 · neshema2

you all know about my having to separate from daughter #2 due to toxicity and abuse from her to me...well i separated from her AND my baby grandson who is innocent in this.....Sat. was his birthday and I did not get an invite that I recall....I called her to say "hey it was nice your party for Adrian...

Truth · Truth

I have my mediation session tomorrow. I was wondering if any of you would add me to your prayer list?

Gaby · Gaby

Yes my son relapsed again. And he's driving. Again he puts everything on me. He is staying with a friend is possibly going to lose his job and I know I have no control of nothing. I need to completely detach. I pray and pray. But this is taking a huge toll on me .. I love him but I hate his disease!!

hotrod · hotrod

Stephen KingBorn: 4 March 1966Passed Away: 6 May 2007Website: http://hotrod.last-memories.com/index.phpStephen King A heart of gold stopped beatingTwo shinning eyes at restGod broke my heartTo prove He only takes the best

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Not sure if it's resentment or not but I'm not happy. I think I'm getting a little to close to my son's situation and it's giving me hurt. When I have a video chat with him at home he is not changing in my eyes. I can't see any hope he's going to change and that in its self makes my hopes for him disappear. I...

texasgal · texasgal

My soon to be exAH sent me crazy text messages and phone calls yesterday. He was obviously drunk. He was on a total blame game trip and blamed me and everyone for the troubles of his own making. At first I was strong and did not engage but after the last message I told him not to contact me anymore that I was mo...

el-cee · el-cee

I know this is controversial but i worry that the getting them sober book is recommended to new comers at the expense of the full benefits of the alanon program. I read one volume and it is a good book with limited value, it is short and has very small bite size pieces of information and it can be empowering...

sookie · sookie

It's been a long time since I have posted here. it's been about 3 years of working my program and getting healthier but all the while still avoiding some serious decisions about my marriage to the AH. We have been separated for almost 3 years, but not divorced--we have 2 beautiful kids which we parent t...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I had a great driving lesson yesterday. I just love this instructor. I do believe together we're actually going to get me licensed and in the not-too-distant future! Yesterday we drove all around the city and I actually had FUN. Ha! She's good at seeing the areas where I make things harder for myself th...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Hey there everyone. Things have, mostly, been good. But just recently I have felt old habits creeping in. I suspect drinking on his part, and not taking care of my own needs on mine. And the co-dependency...holy crap. 'See that old guy over there, how he's kinda haunches over? That's why you need to s...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

This is my thought for today. What would happen if newcomers came into a room of grim-faced people clenching their chairs with white knuckles? They're coming from a place of overly-serious hyper vigilance, always waiting for the other shoe to drop - and they thought they could be happy with us? Thank...

Truth · Truth

So I had a brief discussion with the ex-a about what we will discuss in the mediation session. My main concern is having my son exposed to people who are displaying high risk behavior. He tried all the usual manipulations, denial, minimizing, making himself a victim, exposing my mistakes, phoning to...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I believe the Universe has given me as much pain as I need now. Definitely time to close some old doors and open new ones. I don't need to see it anymore...these vicious types... Over the past 24 hours I was on the exhausting, crazy train with yet another alcoholic who crossed my boundaries thinking it w...

CDK · CDK

Hello Sweet Ones. Its been a while. I need some ESH. I left my exA 2 years ago. Classic code/alcoholic relationship. Horrifying, painful, assaults, etc..just name it...it was probably there. I have not seen him or spoken to him. But, it appears that I am still afraid. I had a cluster this weekend...

MorningGlory · MorningGlory

Hello MIP Family,I have been checking in here, but mostly working on steps and doing on-line meetings and feeling better about MY recovery everyday! Got this from a friend and thought it was a joke but a lesson too, thought I would share:11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a...

Mattie · Mattie

Two updates on various things. First, the meeting with my friend who was drunk on the phone. Well, so far I've weaseled out of that one, though I know the hard work is coming. He had to change the time he was coming, and meanwhile one of my pipes started leaking through the wall, so I just said, "Th...

PleaseGodNoMore · PleaseGodNoMore

I've been lurking here for a few weeks now. Also started back to attending meetings in my local area and recently got a sponsor with whom I am starting to do the steps. I'm reading a few of the daily readings and praying for my AW and also for guidance and direction. I'm what I have learned is called a "...

grateful2be · grateful2be

After a harsh winter, MG's avatar of a beautiful morning glory is a reminder to me of some of my favorite springtime and summer colors and flowers. These blue hydrangea are especially precious to me because blue hydrangea are challenging to grow and can appear silvery depending on the blue hues and l...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I wanted to give an update. And mention something I was afraid to mention before. But I am tired of being afraid to talk about the horrible things I have dealt with these last few months. I can be subtle without mentioning details and I think it's ok to do this so I can start to heal. My AH and I were coworkers...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

After starting my day with my head in recovery. I had a counseling appointment that helped me to get balanced within regarding communicating my wants and needs to others. I went to the dentist and got a cleaning, worked out with a friend and I took my third final and got an A, I am happy right now. After s...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

Alone with thoughts is a bad place to be - thoughts on my marriage to my AH - if you can call it that. There is no touch between us , there is NO trust in him, can't remember the last time something kind was said to me, and I am so sad. Trying to focus on kids and me but with 2 young kids its hard to not be around AH too...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

just saying. . i love everyones new flowery springy avatars. they make me smile when i read posts from you all. spring is taking forever to arrive here in my northeast state so these photos are of what is to come. . soon i hope. btw, i would upload one myself but from my tablet i cant seem to make it work,lol ;...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Well I'm officially out of a job but not quite. My job will end during the summer. I did apply for another in my dept. but it's been offered to someone else. I don't know who got it. I'm disappointed. The job was for my boss' boss who has her head on straight and is one of the few left who is holding tight to...

el-cee · el-cee

Im feeling a bit anxious tonight, a bit on edge. I feel that one door has closed and another will inevitably open and its the fear of the unknown. What makes it worse is that where I live days last a long time in the spring and summer. During the winter when I felt this way the days ended quickly and in a way thi...

mamachief · mamachief

It scares me when my AH drives....would it be wrong of me to call in a DUI driver in hopes he would get help? He would expect him mom to pay an attorney . If he had court ordered meetings?? The health insurance I found for him will pay for 30 days at a facility in Palm springs they only cost to us is flight and ab...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yep the world needs a group hug! I am especially in need of one today. No big deals, though, I just need my daily hug. So, it seems that days like today are sometimes rare but they happen when we least expect it. I am so grateful for the sunshine when it comes up here. Today it is kinda dreary but we had loads of...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, things with my AH are awful right now. Neither one of us is filing but I think one of us should just jump in and do it. We hate each other, there is no communication and he blames me because I don't like having conversations with him. He knows why, it's been made clear. He's been told how to find recov...

Mattie · Mattie

I thought I had a handle on who were the alcoholics in my life. But I just had an experience that shook me up. I got a call from an old friend. He said he was coming through town tomorrow and he thought of me. I said, "Hey, let's get together!" This is a person I don't have any romantic history w...

grateful2be · grateful2be

One of the things I appreciate on this board has to do with the lack of one up-man-ship that can often happen and does happen in some relationships and groups. Although I do see it on occasion - it is not the norm. Perhaps sharing our experience, strength and hope without correcting others or trying to...

Truth · Truth

I just read these words and thought what a great thing to share. "Remember that hope is not a strategy," she said. "Problems don't go away when you ignore them -- they get bigger." It reminded me of the "elephant in the room"

abell · abell

4 months pregnant now. I got pregnant because doctors told me i could never have a child so this was unexpected, esp. now i'm in my late 30's. During a relapse at Christmas with the exAH. He couldn't stay sober for a whole month, even after he knew about the pregnancy. A few weeks ago I had to leave for a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone My day started about 4am this morning. Got up got dressed got coffee and out the door by 5am. Took the trek up the hill to my x's house. Picked up him and his wife and we headed north to Flagstaff, AZ. Found the facility that had my son's personal items, laptop, computers etc etc etc. Next I...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Well, my AH is now a RAH. He did 30 days inpatient and another 45 in an Intensive outpatient while living in a 1/2 way house. He has learned all about his illness and what it did to our family. He was far from home so all our communication was by phone for the last 2 months, he sounds good and I am thankful...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well now .. been an interesting turn of events today .. first thing first I got my headlight taken care of to the tune of 18$ thank goodness it's done! Got a few other things done I'm having to apply for aide for my power bill .. however .. it is what it is and if it's available .. I'm taking it. The other news...

texasgal · texasgal

I got the job!! :) I'm so excited and everything happened with such little effort and worry on my part. I know it was all my HP I am so very grateful. I move in a couple of months so I have time to look for apt and pack. I look at my life very differently today. My soon to be exAH is not in a good place and one of the la...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I will be back on later tonight. it's been a busy tiring day. I wanted to share this with you all as a warm virtual hug, because I know we can all use a hug. I read your posts and sometimes I just don't have the words to express how deeply I empathize with you. So anyway, here is the hugs I promised! [video=h...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ESH on liability, anyone? (Preview) I have a share...and if you make it through reading this, I have a question at the end...LOL! Last night was a close call and I don't want to go through any more nights worrying about what the A is going to do. This past week I had decided to take the financial loss and let the A take the Jeep and all the tools I'...	Raven Juniper	8	596	May 9, 2014 by Beatrice
	Feeling Sad (Preview) I just went on the website that promotes the program we went through for parenting. I read the "success" story. It is my literally. I am really sad because I realized the very program that was "suppose" to help us was the program that got me to let go of my boundaries and the abuse st...	Truth	1	234	May 9, 2014 by Truth
	need help (Preview) hello, am currently going to huge mood swings, from courage one second to feelings of despair in the next. I can't see my life unfold, am having a huge panic attack. and it's for me a dangerous place to be insitting in isolation, there is not much to do for the moment, other than reaching and sitting it thr...	tortuga	8	489	May 9, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	I am really hurting...life looks hopeless :( (Preview) The last few days I have felt really depressed. I am feeling jealous of people who have a good marriage. I am mad at a co-worker who has lots of money and asks me questions about my family life. I am feeling like a failure because I am in a second failed marriage. My credit score is BAD...just looked it up a fe...	Newlife girl	16	616	May 9, 2014 by Breakingfree
	He thinks I am "not allowed to say no" (Preview) My ex-A asked for a visit tomorrow and Saturday. I said no because we have plans Friday and Saturday. He thinks I am not allowed to say no. I just no I don't think so and I am allowed to say no as he will not agree to a schedule. He told me he cannot have a schedule because of his work. I said well then I guess you wi...	Truth	10	1050	May 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	Alcoholism is the worst (Preview) Well I have to say and I always new alcohol was bad. The disease it's self was brutal . This is nothing new to me . I think I'm just more open to realize that this is one tough habit to kick. I don't despise the drinker anymore , for me to cope and get threw this sickness I had to put myself in there shoes to see how...	Wisdom67	8	636	May 9, 2014 by PP
	Had to change the Avatar (Preview) to bring myself closer to the family look. All the beautiful flowers. Hawaii has only two seasons so we FLOWER!! all the time. This avatar is of my favorite flower which comes in two colors. I have the red one in file and show this, the Jade version. It is a very stunning flower in shape, size, color...	Jerry F	23	515	May 9, 2014 by el-cee
	New here....this is my story (long post) (Preview) I started my recovery in al-anon 5 months ago and I can't express how grateful I am for this program. My brother has been a non-functioning alcoholic for the past 18 years, he will soon be 35 years old. He has lived with my parents his entire life except for probably 2-3 years and has only worked during tho...	mynewlife	8	695	May 8, 2014 by Breakingfree
	One Day At A Time (the little blue book) - MAY 8 (Preview) MAY 8 Among the many gifts we are offered in Al-Anon is freedom. When we are new in Al-Anon, we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair. Working with the program offers us release as we learn to understand the true nature of our situation. the gifts of Al-Anon are not without a price tag; freedom, f...	WorkingThroughIt	6	2028	May 8, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Praying through every second.. (Preview) Today I came to work.. I'm ok at this moment. I am praying to god that he guides my son through his journey and praying for peace. I truly have to say to myself over and over that I did not make choices for my son. He made his own. I have cleaned my side of the street with him and apologized for pain I caused him, b...	Gaby	10	540	May 8, 2014 by neshema2
	letting go (Preview) Hi, I am in need of some help, my son is in rehab, he has put it in gods hands and let go.mthe problem is I cant seen to do the same. Im so afraid hes going to relapse. I feel like I need to be in control of everything. Hes 26 years old and I feel like hes 10. How do I do this???????????	bubba	9	392	May 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	Not Rapunzel. (Preview) OK I'm going to try to put this into perspective. Excuse the boring story and repeat details lol. When I post on here I try to talk about what I am doing. Then when things are crazy with A I vent sometimes. The result is that I present myself as "trying so hard" and A as a "monster". I gu...	Melly1248	7	618	May 8, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Not My Circus (Preview) I was at a convention this past weekend and, unfortunately, had to witness a couple of my fellow club members demonstrate some pretty dysfunctional behavior after drinking from sun up to sundown. A fellow member, also witnessed their antics and suggested this mantra: "This is not my circus, I...	Green Eyes	9	536	May 8, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Hurting.. (Preview) Today I found out my son lost his job due to again his addiction. Last year today was when he hit bottom and left to rehab on may 9.13. I am tired of being sick and tired. I again feel like I lost my son to his disease. I know I can't do nothing about it. The three C's. Through his adult life I have been dealing wit...	Gaby	8	780	May 8, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Step 6 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57511576/alanon-step-6/	hotrod	0	949	May 8, 2014 by hotrod
	Dealing with a loved one in denial (Preview) Good morning. I have never really spoke with anyone regarding this, and the reason being is that I was in denial that my husband had a problem- he was very manipulating and convincing. We got married young and the binge drinking was portrayed as something "all college kids do". As time prog...	Marina0719	3	507	May 7, 2014 by Sunrise
	Fear (Preview) When I walked in my first Alanon meeting over 21 years ago, I had so much fear and anger. Today I found a quote about fear. I plan to write it in my Alanon book. "Hope is stronger than fear." Another quote is "courage is fear that has said its prayers." That one helped me over the year...	afglin	2	315	May 7, 2014 by Jerry F
	Just stopping by to say hello (Preview) Well, I thought I would stop by to say hello and check up on my fellow alanoners..... May spring bring us all new and good beginnings.........	neshema2	5	280	May 7, 2014 by Rose50
	My sponsor who has been sooo instrumental in my recovery is in a nursing home now... (Preview) I have my last final today and I will go spend time with her tomorrow. She seems to be fading fast and can barely stay awake when I call to check on her. They never had kids and her husband is so sweet and staying right by her side. I have so much I want to say to this wonderful Spirit, I just can't imagine my life...	Breakingfree	13	423	May 7, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Detachment, Defending child, Losing that loving feeling (Preview) I've been reading much about detachment lately. I'm trying not to let my AH's behavior get unhelpful reactions out of me. I'm trying to keep my mouth closed. I'm trying not to argue. Trying to say "you may be right." Then last night I engaged. My son wanted to watch tv. AH, son and I wer...	Sunrise	6	555	May 7, 2014 by ct1203
	good day for sunshine (Preview) I am more than making it--I am thriving. I love to get on here when I feel excellent!	Hoot Nanny	1	232	May 7, 2014 by hotrod
	my personal story of hope... (Preview) I went to my first Al-Anon meeting about 30 years ago. I had no idea the impact that Al-Anon would have on my whole life. I am an AUTHOR and have written a memoir of sorts detailing the painful and deliberate steps that I took over many years to finally recover from the disease of co-dependency.	karen18	2	691	May 7, 2014 by Hoot Nanny
	You (mip family) are right again; ) (Preview) Thank you Kenny for reminding me that I WILL still need to do my own therapy on these boards and continue my meetings. I had myself a mini fear session last night. I took it out on my "recovering" AH in not a particularly harsh way, but it was NOT how I want to feel or act or react. I was afraid of los...	sadsusie	8	495	May 7, 2014 by sadsusie
	We've noticed that your yearly ticket for the crazy-train is about to expire.... (Preview) lol, wow. Here's a lesson in not trying to predict outcomes! I mentioned that A appears to be really crashing and burning in the real world and that I am just letting the crisis happen and doing what I need to for my girl and myself including job-hunting, house-hunting etc. I'm trying to make REAL choic...	Melly1248	13	511	May 7, 2014 by yankshirerose
	I guess I am just going to trust that I am recovered enough.............. (Preview) you all know about my having to separate from daughter #2 due to toxicity and abuse from her to me...well i separated from her AND my baby grandson who is innocent in this.....Sat. was his birthday and I did not get an invite that I recall....I called her to say "hey it was nice your party for Adrian...	neshema2	6	363	May 7, 2014 by pinkchip
	Need Prayers (Preview) I have my mediation session tomorrow. I was wondering if any of you would add me to your prayer list?	Truth	9	404	May 7, 2014 by hotrod
	AGAIN!!! (Preview) Yes my son relapsed again. And he's driving. Again he puts everything on me. He is staying with a friend is possibly going to lose his job and I know I have no control of nothing. I need to completely detach. I pray and pray. But this is taking a huge toll on me .. I love him but I hate his disease!!	Gaby	8	433	May 6, 2014 by Jerry F
	Remembering my Son, Stephen who passed away from this disease 7 years ago tomorrow (Preview) Stephen KingBorn: 4 March 1966Passed Away: 6 May 2007Website: http://hotrod.last-memories.com/index.phpStephen King A heart of gold stopped beatingTwo shinning eyes at restGod broke my heartTo prove He only takes the best	hotrod	30	777	May 6, 2014 by neshema2
	Resentments?? (Preview) Not sure if it's resentment or not but I'm not happy. I think I'm getting a little to close to my son's situation and it's giving me hurt. When I have a video chat with him at home he is not changing in my eyes. I can't see any hope he's going to change and that in its self makes my hopes for him disappear. I...	Cathyinaz	12	631	May 6, 2014 by neshema2
	grateful for AlAnon :) (Preview) My soon to be exAH sent me crazy text messages and phone calls yesterday. He was obviously drunk. He was on a total blame game trip and blamed me and everyone for the troubles of his own making. At first I was strong and did not engage but after the last message I told him not to contact me anymore that I was mo...	texasgal	7	379	May 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	is getting them sober helping or hindering? (Preview) I know this is controversial but i worry that the getting them sober book is recommended to new comers at the expense of the full benefits of the alanon program. I read one volume and it is a good book with limited value, it is short and has very small bite size pieces of information and it can be empowering...	el-cee	33	851	May 6, 2014 by el-cee
	when the feelings die... (Preview) It's been a long time since I have posted here. it's been about 3 years of working my program and getting healthier but all the while still avoiding some serious decisions about my marriage to the AH. We have been separated for almost 3 years, but not divorced--we have 2 beautiful kids which we parent t...	sookie	8	548	May 6, 2014 by Ifnotforgrace
	A frivolous share about driving lessons :-) (Preview) I had a great driving lesson yesterday. I just love this instructor. I do believe together we're actually going to get me licensed and in the not-too-distant future! Yesterday we drove all around the city and I actually had FUN. Ha! She's good at seeing the areas where I make things harder for myself th...	Melly1248	12	545	May 6, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	Back. Think I lost myself for a bit... (Preview) Hey there everyone. Things have, mostly, been good. But just recently I have felt old habits creeping in. I suspect drinking on his part, and not taking care of my own needs on mine. And the co-dependency...holy crap. 'See that old guy over there, how he's kinda haunches over? That's why you need to s...	SpiderArcana	8	610	May 6, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	Lighten Up (Preview) This is my thought for today. What would happen if newcomers came into a room of grim-faced people clenching their chairs with white knuckles? They're coming from a place of overly-serious hyper vigilance, always waiting for the other shoe to drop - and they thought they could be happy with us? Thank...	WorkingThroughIt	3	307	May 6, 2014 by el-cee
	High Risk Behavior (Preview) So I had a brief discussion with the ex-a about what we will discuss in the mediation session. My main concern is having my son exposed to people who are displaying high risk behavior. He tried all the usual manipulations, denial, minimizing, making himself a victim, exposing my mistakes, phoning to...	Truth	5	446	May 6, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	I believe God is continuing to show me my Direction (Preview) I believe the Universe has given me as much pain as I need now. Definitely time to close some old doors and open new ones. I don't need to see it anymore...these vicious types... Over the past 24 hours I was on the exhausting, crazy train with yet another alcoholic who crossed my boundaries thinking it w...	WorkingThroughIt	9	501	May 5, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Dealing with mutual friend triggers years later..esh (Preview) Hello Sweet Ones. Its been a while. I need some ESH. I left my exA 2 years ago. Classic code/alcoholic relationship. Horrifying, painful, assaults, etc..just name it...it was probably there. I have not seen him or spoken to him. But, it appears that I am still afraid. I had a cluster this weekend...	CDK	9	439	May 5, 2014 by CDK
	Are you Joking? (Preview) Hello MIP Family,I have been checking in here, but mostly working on steps and doing on-line meetings and feeling better about MY recovery everyday! Got this from a friend and thought it was a joke but a lesson too, thought I would share:11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a...	MorningGlory	7	495	May 5, 2014 by el-cee
	Two Updates (Preview) Two updates on various things. First, the meeting with my friend who was drunk on the phone. Well, so far I've weaseled out of that one, though I know the hard work is coming. He had to change the time he was coming, and meanwhile one of my pipes started leaking through the wall, so I just said, "Th...	Mattie	4	479	May 5, 2014 by ilovedogs
	New, Seeking and Kinda PO'd (Preview) I've been lurking here for a few weeks now. Also started back to attending meetings in my local area and recently got a sponsor with whom I am starting to do the steps. I'm reading a few of the daily readings and praying for my AW and also for guidance and direction. I'm what I have learned is called a "...	PleaseGodNoMore	14	514	May 5, 2014 by Onlyhope
	What are your favorite spring and summer flowers and colors? (Preview) After a harsh winter, MG's avatar of a beautiful morning glory is a reminder to me of some of my favorite springtime and summer colors and flowers. These blue hydrangea are especially precious to me because blue hydrangea are challenging to grow and can appear silvery depending on the blue hues and l...	grateful2be	35	1118	May 5, 2014 by el-cee
	I have to be kind to....me!! An update (Preview) I wanted to give an update. And mention something I was afraid to mention before. But I am tired of being afraid to talk about the horrible things I have dealt with these last few months. I can be subtle without mentioning details and I think it's ok to do this so I can start to heal. My AH and I were coworkers...	Newlife girl	4	383	May 5, 2014 by milkwood
	My 3 daily readings today hit me so fresh and new it was amazing (Preview) After starting my day with my head in recovery. I had a counseling appointment that helped me to get balanced within regarding communicating my wants and needs to others. I went to the dentist and got a cleaning, worked out with a friend and I took my third final and got an A, I am happy right now. After s...	Breakingfree	5	416	May 5, 2014 by Breakingfree
	If I hear he has control over drinking 1 more time!!! (Preview) Alone with thoughts is a bad place to be - thoughts on my marriage to my AH - if you can call it that. There is no touch between us , there is NO trust in him, can't remember the last time something kind was said to me, and I am so sad. Trying to focus on kids and me but with 2 young kids its hard to not be around AH too...	Kerrymom	8	524	May 5, 2014 by el-cee
	i love the new avatars (Preview) just saying. . i love everyones new flowery springy avatars. they make me smile when i read posts from you all. spring is taking forever to arrive here in my northeast state so these photos are of what is to come. . soon i hope. btw, i would upload one myself but from my tablet i cant seem to make it work,lol ;...	Theoceancalls	6	336	May 5, 2014 by Katy
	Going Forward Odaat (Preview) Well I'm officially out of a job but not quite. My job will end during the summer. I did apply for another in my dept. but it's been offered to someone else. I don't know who got it. I'm disappointed. The job was for my boss' boss who has her head on straight and is one of the few left who is holding tight to...	tiredtonite	6	350	May 4, 2014 by hotrod
	Scary Spring (Preview) Im feeling a bit anxious tonight, a bit on edge. I feel that one door has closed and another will inevitably open and its the fear of the unknown. What makes it worse is that where I live days last a long time in the spring and summer. During the winter when I felt this way the days ended quickly and in a way thi...	el-cee	16	596	May 4, 2014 by oldergal
	Would it be wrong? (Preview) It scares me when my AH drives....would it be wrong of me to call in a DUI driver in hopes he would get help? He would expect him mom to pay an attorney . If he had court ordered meetings?? The health insurance I found for him will pay for 30 days at a facility in Palm springs they only cost to us is flight and ab...	mamachief	5	489	May 4, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	the world needs a group hug! (Preview) Yep the world needs a group hug! I am especially in need of one today. No big deals, though, I just need my daily hug. So, it seems that days like today are sometimes rare but they happen when we least expect it. I am so grateful for the sunshine when it comes up here. Today it is kinda dreary but we had loads of...	Hoot Nanny	8	583	May 4, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	Need your ESH (Preview) So, things with my AH are awful right now. Neither one of us is filing but I think one of us should just jump in and do it. We hate each other, there is no communication and he blames me because I don't like having conversations with him. He knows why, it's been made clear. He's been told how to find recov...	ilovedogs	17	572	May 4, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Shaken up (Preview) I thought I had a handle on who were the alcoholics in my life. But I just had an experience that shook me up. I got a call from an old friend. He said he was coming through town tomorrow and he thought of me. I said, "Hey, let's get together!" This is a person I don't have any romantic history w...	Mattie	14	604	May 4, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	One up-man-ship - subtle violence (Preview) One of the things I appreciate on this board has to do with the lack of one up-man-ship that can often happen and does happen in some relationships and groups. Although I do see it on occasion - it is not the norm. Perhaps sharing our experience, strength and hope without correcting others or trying to...	grateful2be	14	573	May 4, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Hope is not a strategy... (Preview) I just read these words and thought what a great thing to share. "Remember that hope is not a strategy," she said. "Problems don't go away when you ignore them -- they get bigger." It reminded me of the "elephant in the room"	Truth	7	427	May 4, 2014 by milkwood
	Pregnant Scared & Running Away (Preview) 4 months pregnant now. I got pregnant because doctors told me i could never have a child so this was unexpected, esp. now i'm in my late 30's. During a relapse at Christmas with the exAH. He couldn't stay sober for a whole month, even after he knew about the pregnancy. A few weeks ago I had to leave for a...	abell	8	413	May 3, 2014 by Debilyn
	400 Miles Today (Preview) Hi Everyone My day started about 4am this morning. Got up got dressed got coffee and out the door by 5am. Took the trek up the hill to my x's house. Picked up him and his wife and we headed north to Flagstaff, AZ. Found the facility that had my son's personal items, laptop, computers etc etc etc. Next I...	Cathyinaz	10	435	May 3, 2014 by Beatrice
	He's coming home and I'm okay..... (Preview) Well, my AH is now a RAH. He did 30 days inpatient and another 45 in an Intensive outpatient while living in a 1/2 way house. He has learned all about his illness and what it did to our family. He was far from home so all our communication was by phone for the last 2 months, he sounds good and I am thankful...	jillybean1	8	452	May 3, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Turn of events and some explanation .. (Preview) Well now .. been an interesting turn of events today .. first thing first I got my headlight taken care of to the tune of 18$ thank goodness it's done! Got a few other things done I'm having to apply for aide for my power bill .. however .. it is what it is and if it's available .. I'm taking it. The other news...	SerenityRUS	6	499	May 3, 2014 by Truth
	job (Preview) I got the job!! :) I'm so excited and everything happened with such little effort and worry on my part. I know it was all my HP I am so very grateful. I move in a couple of months so I have time to look for apt and pack. I look at my life very differently today. My soon to be exAH is not in a good place and one of the la...	texasgal	12	445	May 3, 2014 by grateful2be
	More free hugs and warm fuzziness (Preview) I will be back on later tonight. it's been a busy tiring day. I wanted to share this with you all as a warm virtual hug, because I know we can all use a hug. I read your posts and sometimes I just don't have the words to express how deeply I empathize with you. So anyway, here is the hugs I promised! [video=h...	Raven Juniper	4	282	May 3, 2014 by Jerry F
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