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Al-Anon or CODA?
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I am new to this site and would like to say "hello", as well as ask a question. I am finding myself a bit confused on the difference between al-anon and coda.When I was first introduced to al-anon many years ago, we were co-dependents, now it seems that is a totally separate p...
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Reeny
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11
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1430
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a little red nose that can change everything...
(Preview)
Hello MIP family, I am in recovery, working my program , each day at a timesometimes i progress, sometimes I regress. I am learning that this too is normal process. What I mostly am in recovery is curious. And so I keep an open mind and look for new things to learn, always with a 'why not' in my head. Every...
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tortuga
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2
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325
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Birthday Fun
(Preview)
My son's birthday is this week and he wanted to go to the movies today. We had actually planned to take him for months when he found out about that the new Spiderman was being released close to his b'day. I had told my son that he could invited a couple of friends along but he replied no I wants us 4 (me, him,...
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ct1203
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2
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326
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Fear, control and the cha-cha ..
(Preview)
I don't know where I am going with this post .. it really has been a rough week .. just emotionally .. I'm so overly hormonal at the moment anyway and it just seems like everything is hitting at once .. it's completely going to be fine .. it means no procrastinating on my part and I still struggle with this c...
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SerenityRUS
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7
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611
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I know better, but still
(Preview)
I'm struggling today. I heard from one of my 3 adult children who live an hour and a half away. They went out to brunch with their father and stepmother. My middle son, who texted me has always been close. My daughter has estranged herself from me since she was about 15. My oldest son had cleaned himself up...
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Raven Juniper
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6
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302
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progressing
(Preview)
Its time to take my recovery forward, time to get rid of one maybe two of my shortcomings, im not sure how it works yet, one at a time or do one get one free. Oh well, it doesnt matter. What matters is I stop procrastinating and being distracted by life and get back inside my head and do the work. Im still on st...
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el-cee
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6
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220
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SUNDAY NIGHT MEETING 7PM (EST) - TOPICS: HONEsTY; TRUST; OPEN MInDEDNESS
(Preview)
Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room. TOPICS: Honeaty Trust Open mindedness The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is irc.chat4...
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Tigger
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0
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139
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Mother's Day
(Preview)
Yesterday for work I drove a bus to where my mommy lives and got picked up for lunch and some shopping until time to go back to work, was great. We had a good lunch at a new place (my sister's ongoing New Year's resolution (3 years running) is to try a different place every month, very cool concept and she dis...
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likemyheart
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4
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304
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My Meditation for the day
(Preview)
The quote below from"Say Yes to Life" confirms my experience with working the Steps of this priceless program Because we are willing to work this program we are all WINNERSI produced the failure in my life. For years I would blame everything and everyone - my parents, the job, my health...
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hotrod
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5
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287
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Please help. Should I leave him before or after the baby is born? :-(
(Preview)
Taken a lot of courage to come on here and tell my story. It is such a long one that I think I will keep it short in case I bore anyone. lol. I am a mum to a 3 year old and am 6 months pregnant. Our marriage is in a terrible mess and after 3 or 4 times of nearly leaving this is the last time I contemplate it and back out....
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moleinahole
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15
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370
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Mothers' Day Wishes
(Preview)
Love and respect to you this weekend and always... I know holidays can be difficult and heart wrenching for many of us. Lots of (((((hugs))))) to the MIP family!
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Raven Juniper
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4
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175
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If You Give a Pig a Pancake...
(Preview)
He will want some syrup to go with it. If you give him some syrup, he will want a napkin to wipe his mouth. And so on and so on. This is a great children's book that describes what I have experienced this last week. But my story involves accepting a dinner invitation with my AH. My daughter and I went out to ea...
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Newlife girl
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8
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494
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domestic violence
(Preview)
I was a victim of domestic violence for many years. I was beaten at various times throughout my marriage. I am now separated from my soon to be ExAH. I have been able to heal or so I thought. The other day the doorbell rang I wasn't expecting anyone and I panicked. When I went to door it was a man selling newsp...
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texasgal
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12
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1134
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Perspective is huge!
(Preview)
You know when I look back at how things were between my exAH and I, it really used to bother me that I let so much go and didn't know any better. We got together when I was 17, that is only a year older than my oldest daughter. I came from abuse and dysfunction and had learned at a young age to walk on eggshells...
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Breakingfree
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10
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432
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Partner's father died
(Preview)
He was 72 and an alcoholic. He latched on to a little bit of AA towards the end (in the last 3 years or so). His quality of sobriety was questionable because of being so doped up on meds that it still seemed like he was drunk much of the time and he half-assed it with no step work so he still flipped out period...
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pinkchip
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15
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465
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Back years later.
(Preview)
I started posting and reading here years ago. I got so much help wisdom and gained strength. I left my alcoholic BF. Now I have another. he does not drink, but is not living an active recovery life. I feel sad and lonely and resentful a lot. I know it is time to work on ME. Thanks for still evening here.
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Fifi
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7
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391
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Reading my message from HP
(Preview)
Sometimes it may seem like you can't figure it out by yourself. Sometimes will and strength and courage are not enough. Sometimes in your life you will need to call out for help. Call on HP. HP will be there.
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Cathyinaz
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6
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244
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When you talk about adult sons..
(Preview)
I don't know if this is disrespectful or hurtful to say, but, I so truly don't mean it to be. I mean it to be thankful. When I see some of you ladies talking here about your adult A sons it helps me to realise that my A's painful saga was going on long before I met him, and, it's probably going to go on long after I...
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Melly1248
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10
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487
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the "shame" of being in recovery
(Preview)
I am the only one in my immediate sibling family who got into alanon and addressed the damage that alcoholic and dysfunctional/abusive families can do to a child....I am thriving in recovery and now help others to heal...I am the one who turned the evil and darkness into something positive and healin...
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neshema2
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21
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579
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I did it ..
(Preview)
I have been on this roller coaster since 2004 with my AH son. Three years ago he was in rehab for a month and his girlfriend stood by him. After learning all about co-dependency, I believe she has been co-dependent on him since then. She had great hopes and dreams and has finally had enough. Things ha...
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Ingwe
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7
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371
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codependency and obession/Newcomer
(Preview)
My name is Deborah and I am a alcoholic/ addict in recovery. It was suggested for me to come to Alanon. Even though in recovery I really have an issue with being so obsessed with others, mostly my husband who has almost 9 years and I have 15 years. I am aware that I need to detach from my husband moves especia...
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ladydiva0399
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6
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549
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ESH on liability, anyone?
(Preview)
I have a share...and if you make it through reading this, I have a question at the end...LOL! Last night was a close call and I don't want to go through any more nights worrying about what the A is going to do. This past week I had decided to take the financial loss and let the A take the Jeep and all the tools I'...
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Raven Juniper
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8
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564
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Feeling Sad
(Preview)
I just went on the website that promotes the program we went through for parenting. I read the "success" story. It is my literally. I am really sad because I realized the very program that was "suppose" to help us was the program that got me to let go of my boundaries and the abuse st...
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Truth
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1
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203
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need help
(Preview)
hello, am currently going to huge mood swings, from courage one second to feelings of despair in the next. I can't see my life unfold, am having a huge panic attack. and it's for me a dangerous place to be insitting in isolation, there is not much to do for the moment, other than reaching and sitting it thr...
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tortuga
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8
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458
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I am really hurting...life looks hopeless :(
(Preview)
The last few days I have felt really depressed. I am feeling jealous of people who have a good marriage. I am mad at a co-worker who has lots of money and asks me questions about my family life. I am feeling like a failure because I am in a second failed marriage. My credit score is BAD...just looked it up a fe...
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Newlife girl
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16
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584
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He thinks I am "not allowed to say no"
(Preview)
My ex-A asked for a visit tomorrow and Saturday. I said no because we have plans Friday and Saturday. He thinks I am not allowed to say no. I just no I don't think so and I am allowed to say no as he will not agree to a schedule. He told me he cannot have a schedule because of his work. I said well then I guess you wi...
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Truth
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10
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993
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Alcoholism is the worst
(Preview)
Well I have to say and I always new alcohol was bad. The disease it's self was brutal . This is nothing new to me . I think I'm just more open to realize that this is one tough habit to kick. I don't despise the drinker anymore , for me to cope and get threw this sickness I had to put myself in there shoes to see how...
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Wisdom67
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8
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602
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Had to change the Avatar
(Preview)
to bring myself closer to the family look. All the beautiful flowers. Hawaii has only two seasons so we FLOWER!! all the time. This avatar is of my favorite flower which comes in two colors. I have the red one in file and show this, the Jade version. It is a very stunning flower in shape, size, color...
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Jerry F
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23
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483
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New here....this is my story (long post)
(Preview)
I started my recovery in al-anon 5 months ago and I can't express how grateful I am for this program. My brother has been a non-functioning alcoholic for the past 18 years, he will soon be 35 years old. He has lived with my parents his entire life except for probably 2-3 years and has only worked during tho...
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mynewlife
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8
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664
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One Day At A Time (the little blue book) - MAY 8
(Preview)
MAY 8 Among the many gifts we are offered in Al-Anon is freedom. When we are new in Al-Anon, we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair. Working with the program offers us release as we learn to understand the true nature of our situation. the gifts of Al-Anon are not without a price tag; freedom, f...
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WorkingThroughIt
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6
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1876
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Praying through every second..
(Preview)
Today I came to work.. I'm ok at this moment. I am praying to god that he guides my son through his journey and praying for peace. I truly have to say to myself over and over that I did not make choices for my son. He made his own. I have cleaned my side of the street with him and apologized for pain I caused him, b...
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Gaby
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10
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508
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letting go
(Preview)
Hi, I am in need of some help, my son is in rehab, he has put it in gods hands and let go.mthe problem is I cant seen to do the same. Im so afraid hes going to relapse. I feel like I need to be in control of everything. Hes 26 years old and I feel like hes 10. How do I do this???????????
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bubba
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9
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360
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Not Rapunzel.
(Preview)
OK I'm going to try to put this into perspective. Excuse the boring story and repeat details lol. When I post on here I try to talk about what I am doing. Then when things are crazy with A I vent sometimes. The result is that I present myself as "trying so hard" and A as a "monster". I gu...
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Melly1248
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7
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582
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Not My Circus
(Preview)
I was at a convention this past weekend and, unfortunately, had to witness a couple of my fellow club members demonstrate some pretty dysfunctional behavior after drinking from sun up to sundown. A fellow member, also witnessed their antics and suggested this mantra: "This is not my circus, I...
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Green Eyes
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9
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502
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Hurting..
(Preview)
Today I found out my son lost his job due to again his addiction. Last year today was when he hit bottom and left to rehab on may 9.13. I am tired of being sick and tired. I again feel like I lost my son to his disease. I know I can't do nothing about it. The three C's. Through his adult life I have been dealing wit...
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Gaby
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8
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748
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Step 6
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57511576/alanon-step-6/
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hotrod
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0
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874
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Dealing with a loved one in denial
(Preview)
Good morning. I have never really spoke with anyone regarding this, and the reason being is that I was in denial that my husband had a problem- he was very manipulating and convincing. We got married young and the binge drinking was portrayed as something "all college kids do". As time prog...
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Marina0719
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3
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467
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Fear
(Preview)
When I walked in my first Alanon meeting over 21 years ago, I had so much fear and anger. Today I found a quote about fear. I plan to write it in my Alanon book. "Hope is stronger than fear." Another quote is "courage is fear that has said its prayers." That one helped me over the year...
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afglin
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2
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280
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Just stopping by to say hello
(Preview)
Well, I thought I would stop by to say hello and check up on my fellow alanoners..... May spring bring us all new and good beginnings.........
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neshema2
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5
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249
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My sponsor who has been sooo instrumental in my recovery is in a nursing home now...
(Preview)
I have my last final today and I will go spend time with her tomorrow. She seems to be fading fast and can barely stay awake when I call to check on her. They never had kids and her husband is so sweet and staying right by her side. I have so much I want to say to this wonderful Spirit, I just can't imagine my life...
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Breakingfree
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13
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394
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Detachment, Defending child, Losing that loving feeling
(Preview)
I've been reading much about detachment lately. I'm trying not to let my AH's behavior get unhelpful reactions out of me. I'm trying to keep my mouth closed. I'm trying not to argue. Trying to say "you may be right." Then last night I engaged. My son wanted to watch tv. AH, son and I wer...
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Sunrise
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6
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523
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good day for sunshine
(Preview)
I am more than making it--I am thriving. I love to get on here when I feel excellent!
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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199
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my personal story of hope...
(Preview)
I went to my first Al-Anon meeting about 30 years ago. I had no idea the impact that Al-Anon would have on my whole life. I am an AUTHOR and have written a memoir of sorts detailing the painful and deliberate steps that I took over many years to finally recover from the disease of co-dependency.
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karen18
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2
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659
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You (mip family) are right again; )
(Preview)
Thank you Kenny for reminding me that I WILL still need to do my own therapy on these boards and continue my meetings. I had myself a mini fear session last night. I took it out on my "recovering" AH in not a particularly harsh way, but it was NOT how I want to feel or act or react. I was afraid of los...
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sadsusie
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8
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463
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We've noticed that your yearly ticket for the crazy-train is about to expire....
(Preview)
lol, wow. Here's a lesson in not trying to predict outcomes! I mentioned that A appears to be really crashing and burning in the real world and that I am just letting the crisis happen and doing what I need to for my girl and myself including job-hunting, house-hunting etc. I'm trying to make REAL choic...
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Melly1248
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13
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478
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I guess I am just going to trust that I am recovered enough..............
(Preview)
you all know about my having to separate from daughter #2 due to toxicity and abuse from her to me...well i separated from her AND my baby grandson who is innocent in this.....Sat. was his birthday and I did not get an invite that I recall....I called her to say "hey it was nice your party for Adrian...
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neshema2
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6
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330
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Need Prayers
(Preview)
I have my mediation session tomorrow. I was wondering if any of you would add me to your prayer list?
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Truth
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9
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371
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AGAIN!!!
(Preview)
Yes my son relapsed again. And he's driving. Again he puts everything on me. He is staying with a friend is possibly going to lose his job and I know I have no control of nothing. I need to completely detach. I pray and pray. But this is taking a huge toll on me .. I love him but I hate his disease!!
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Gaby
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8
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395
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Remembering my Son, Stephen who passed away from this disease 7 years ago tomorrow
(Preview)
Stephen KingBorn: 4 March 1966Passed Away: 6 May 2007Website: http://hotrod.last-memories.com/index.phpStephen King A heart of gold stopped beatingTwo shinning eyes at restGod broke my heartTo prove He only takes the best
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hotrod
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30
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741
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Resentments??
(Preview)
Not sure if it's resentment or not but I'm not happy. I think I'm getting a little to close to my son's situation and it's giving me hurt. When I have a video chat with him at home he is not changing in my eyes. I can't see any hope he's going to change and that in its self makes my hopes for him disappear. I...
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Cathyinaz
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12
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592
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grateful for AlAnon :)
(Preview)
My soon to be exAH sent me crazy text messages and phone calls yesterday. He was obviously drunk. He was on a total blame game trip and blamed me and everyone for the troubles of his own making. At first I was strong and did not engage but after the last message I told him not to contact me anymore that I was mo...
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texasgal
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7
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345
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is getting them sober helping or hindering?
(Preview)
I know this is controversial but i worry that the getting them sober book is recommended to new comers at the expense of the full benefits of the alanon program. I read one volume and it is a good book with limited value, it is short and has very small bite size pieces of information and it can be empowering...
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el-cee
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33
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800
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when the feelings die...
(Preview)
It's been a long time since I have posted here. it's been about 3 years of working my program and getting healthier but all the while still avoiding some serious decisions about my marriage to the AH. We have been separated for almost 3 years, but not divorced--we have 2 beautiful kids which we parent t...
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sookie
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8
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515
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A frivolous share about driving lessons :-)
(Preview)
I had a great driving lesson yesterday. I just love this instructor. I do believe together we're actually going to get me licensed and in the not-too-distant future! Yesterday we drove all around the city and I actually had FUN. Ha! She's good at seeing the areas where I make things harder for myself th...
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Melly1248
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12
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506
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Back. Think I lost myself for a bit...
(Preview)
Hey there everyone. Things have, mostly, been good. But just recently I have felt old habits creeping in. I suspect drinking on his part, and not taking care of my own needs on mine. And the co-dependency...holy crap. 'See that old guy over there, how he's kinda haunches over? That's why you need to s...
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SpiderArcana
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8
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572
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Lighten Up
(Preview)
This is my thought for today. What would happen if newcomers came into a room of grim-faced people clenching their chairs with white knuckles? They're coming from a place of overly-serious hyper vigilance, always waiting for the other shoe to drop - and they thought they could be happy with us? Thank...
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WorkingThroughIt
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3
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274
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High Risk Behavior
(Preview)
So I had a brief discussion with the ex-a about what we will discuss in the mediation session. My main concern is having my son exposed to people who are displaying high risk behavior. He tried all the usual manipulations, denial, minimizing, making himself a victim, exposing my mistakes, phoning to...
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Truth
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5
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411
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I believe God is continuing to show me my Direction
(Preview)
I believe the Universe has given me as much pain as I need now. Definitely time to close some old doors and open new ones. I don't need to see it anymore...these vicious types... Over the past 24 hours I was on the exhausting, crazy train with yet another alcoholic who crossed my boundaries thinking it w...
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WorkingThroughIt
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9
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469
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Dealing with mutual friend triggers years later..esh
(Preview)
Hello Sweet Ones. Its been a while. I need some ESH. I left my exA 2 years ago. Classic code/alcoholic relationship. Horrifying, painful, assaults, etc..just name it...it was probably there. I have not seen him or spoken to him. But, it appears that I am still afraid. I had a cluster this weekend...
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CDK
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9
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409
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Are you Joking?
(Preview)
Hello MIP Family,I have been checking in here, but mostly working on steps and doing on-line meetings and feeling better about MY recovery everyday! Got this from a friend and thought it was a joke but a lesson too, thought I would share:11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a...
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MorningGlory
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7
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461
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