Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sadsusie · sadsusie

My AH relapsed yet again. He is full of guilt and regret and is in that hamster wheel of trying to make up for his mistakes through "achievements". I suggested to him that He is chasing his tail. He has yet to go to a meeting. He likes to think that he is too complicated and different from everyon...

texasgal · texasgal

I've had a bad week with work and personal life. My doorbell rang several times with no one at the door I finally called cops and made a report. My soon to be exah was violent and I did it for my own protection. My soon to be exAH has been posting pics of him and his young gf and saying how much she makes him smile...

Tigger · Tigger

Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room. TOPICS: Letting our A make their own mistakes; Acting as if; Enjoying what is beautiful The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat c...

Katy · Katy

I really do struggle with life and people sometimes, the things people do and say, I rarely ask for anything from anyone but thats because right now I have never really had too, hubby said he would collect me the other night from a night out, but when I phoned to say I was ready I got no reply, after many atte...

Gaby · Gaby

Well I woke up late.. Yes depression kicked in at 4 am stayed up until 530 alarm goes off and called into work and said I'll be in at 10. I didn't go back to sleep.. Uggg All I thought about was my son !! What can he be doing? Where can he be? Is he ok? Is he safe? Is he dead or alive? That's when I jumped up got in the s...

el-cee · el-cee

Alanon family group. I thought that meant it helped families of alcoholics which of course it does but it also means its a group of people who are like a family. In my meeting tonight an old timer shared about her a child and they are in a bad way, she was upset and it kind of hit me that I really care for her and...

Gaby · Gaby

My son has not made no contact with me .. Yes he ecknowledged Mother's Day and sent me a private message through Facebook. I have made my days better and remind myself that these are his choices he is making. I have no control of him nor do I want it. I always thought I would have control of any of his outcomes...

Katy · Katy

I often find myself feeling guilty because I have unwittingly become the victim of someone elses bad behaviours, I have always put this down to myself not being strong enough or the other person being way too strong and clever, but today I think it has nothing to do with me really it's of my allowing some...

Mattie · Mattie

Thank you all in advance for letting me vent more. It's clear to me that I'm in over my head right now with everything. This realization that my ex-AH isn't reliable for even the little things is just the stress on top of it all. Our son is high-needs and as he gets older, it gets more challenging. I thin...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi-I am having an experience this week that reminds me of the insanity that can exist with alcoholic, dysfunctional family members. I am in the middle of trying to coordinate a group of my family getting to see my 91 yr old mother, probably for the last time. It's too long to explain the entire situati...

el-cee · el-cee

Thats me. I have a tendency to become obsessive about anything really. Sometimes its a good thing, it helped me get my degree and my career, you should have seen me before my driving test, i hardly slept for three days before because i was reading and studying up on it. I am a fast learner because if this sw...

neshema2 · neshema2

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I brought a friend that I thought could use some al-anon, which always makes me happy to share this program with a newcomer, but it got even better. My sponsors husband was there and he told me how great my letter and card were and that I should come and visit her tomorrow. So Thursday I am going to the nurs...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

A long-time friend of AA, Dr. Harry M. Tiebout, clarified brilliantly the difference between submission and the surrender idea which is implied in Step One of the Twelve Steps. In submission, he said, an individual accepts reality consciously but not unconsciously. He accepts as a practical fact...

Truth · Truth

Well after four years of complete and under chaos. I finally feel free. The ex-A has emailed however has not once shown up at my home, since the last incident. He has texted, but has not not texted once since my boundary. Today is pure peaceful bliss.

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Happy Mother's Day All I had a internet visit with my son this afternoon and he told me he will be sentenced on June 9th. So anyways we continued to chat then it came..... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM....I LOVE YOU AND SORRY I CAN'T BE WITH YOU. I told him thank you and it was the best gift he could have gotten me ju...

shimo · shimo

WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9AM (EST) TOPICS: My life is unmanageable when I.... Serenity is attainable when I.... Sponsorship is.... The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other ch...

Somesay4 · Somesay4

He drinks a 750 bottle of whiskey or vodka in 2 days. Probably 2 bottles a week. Switches between that an a a 12 pack of beer he finishes in 2 days. It's not everyday. Every week is different but it's most days. I can't stand the way he is when he is drunk. He is either mean or overly affectionate. Am I wron...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Hi all. My RAH has been home a week now. He's going about his own recovery and that is good. I had a weekend away with the kids planned for Mother's Day.......long before I knew he was coming home. So we left and I gave him instruction on how to care for the animals.....including our new Lionhead bunny...

Jerry F · Jerry F

To all the Al-Anon and MIP women in my life who have re-parented me and taught me to get in touch with my "female side" LOL... Imagine how I handled that one at the first suggestion. "Should I get my shots before doing that and exactly what step does that come under". LOL ...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

MAY 13 What finally impels the spouse of an alcoholic to look for help in Al-Anon? One large factor is the need for reassurance, to know that were not responsible for the alcoholics drinking. We know we are being torn down, usually by the drinkers own guilt and self-reproach. This has left us without a s...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Have been really out of sorts the last few days- just...dropping things, fuzzy thinking, arguing instead of walking away and then getting upset about it...you know how it goes. Today I had a driving lesson and asked the A to drop me off on his way to work (my instructor and I meet in town so I can practice c...

Mattie · Mattie

I went on a very short business trip and my ex-AH took care of our son while I was gone. Now my ex-AH is a binge drinker who goes for long spells without drinking, so I had a reasonable expectation that there'd be no bingeing while I was gone. I saw no sign that there was, so I think my expectations were reas...

Sunrise · Sunrise

Some days I really feel like I'm making progress in this program. Then there is today. My stress and emotions got way too high. My al-anon knowledge didn't provide enough to bring me anywhere close to serenity. I bawled my way through my face-to-face meeting tonight. And then, after sharing at th...

tortuga · tortuga

sometimes I am suck back into the should have/could have/would have -thinking. It's not a good place to put myself into. That's why I can only say, it's super important in recovery to write a journal, write down the facts. It will help in moments like those, when we are confused, or got our views distort...

Desirae · Desirae

Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room at 9:00AM Eastern Standard Time Current Meeting Schedule: Group Business Meeting held in this room on The FIRST SUNDAY OF EACH MONTH immediately following 7PM meeting. ~ (Morning Meetings) Mon. - Fri. at 9am eastern time & Sat - Sun. - 10am eastern...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

or at least speculate is a better way to say it .. I'm just relying on my intuition and doing what is best for me at this point. If he's really not drinking .. truly .. I feel REALLY sorry for him .. I think I would want to end it all than be stuck thinking the way he does and not be drunk. I would be in a mental war...

mm830 · mm830

Spending some time reflecting, praying, trying to hear HP and not use prayer for my own will but prayer for HP to guide me has given me some nice gifts. A called and came over after bailing out on me again to get drunk. I asked him to leave. He gave dramatic speech is this is how it ends. I said yes. He asked me n...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I sat down and made a list: a list stating why I have separated myself from my AH. I was starting to feel guilty because he's been above and beyond normal these past 2 days (birthday and mother's day) and I was feeling guilty because all I see is manipulation and future pain when I look at him. I resent his...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

Yesterday AH was HAPPY! It was really out of the ordinary and I started to wonder why, it was just mid-morning. Decided to just let it be and continue on. fast forward couple hours, falling "asleep" at lunch claiming it was the baby that kept him up and was tired, awhile later I went into garag...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Things are going well w/ my sisters. They are visiting but my mom on the other hand...more later!

Truth · Truth

I told my ex-A that "if he texted me about anything other than arrangements for my son, I would block him" Today, he thought bc he was being nice he could text. I blocked him.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The kids went and visited with their dad .. my poor daughter had a major panic attack during the visitation .. she's very over his behavior. She hasn't had a panic attack for months and he is a definite trigger for her. Thankfully she has a therapy appointment tomorrow. We have all hit a false sense of...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I lost my Ruby this morning. She had kidney failure and she wasn't going to get well. I had to have her put down. I'm so sad but I did have 10 good years of love with her. Rest in peace Ruby...I love you

Tool1248 · Tool1248

Hi all, This is my first post in several years. A little history... I married my wife in 2001. She has always battled alcoholism. About 3 years ago, the longest and most difficult battle arose. It lasted a year and a half. During that time, she lost her job, was hospitalized twice and arrested twice, o...

Fifi · Fifi

I think I remember that when I feel so down it is time to do something for me.... but it feels so far from possible today. Adolescent daughters and my work as a nurse and a sober BF who feels a million miles away. Everything weighs on me. So many struggles. I know there is a brighter day ahead, but it sure is ha...

Angrywife · Angrywife

Hello, This is my first post and i apologise in advance for any major mistakes... We had a baby girl last year. I was really looking forward to my role as a mother being acknowledged in even some tiny way (a home made card, a cooked meal, some flowers picked from the garden etc.) - nothing expensive, extra...

grateful2be · grateful2be

On yet another Mother's Day, I remember that: I was a girl child who loved to make clover rings, bake mud pies in the sunlight, stick my teddy behind a door with a corn pop in his rubber mouth waiting for him to magically eat it when I wasn't looking, stand in closets that I pretended were elevators that I o...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well, I was very determined to have an amazing day, just my girl and I. I had such wonderful plans! But daughter has been sick all week and is fed up with coughing and being stuck at home with me and being bored. She's not in the best of moods. (To put it mildly). So the reality of today was- dragging a sullen c...

Reeny · Reeny

Hello everyone, I am new to this site and would like to say "hello", as well as ask a question. I am finding myself a bit confused on the difference between al-anon and coda.When I was first introduced to al-anon many years ago, we were co-dependents, now it seems that is a totally separate p...

tortuga · tortuga

Hello MIP family, I am in recovery, working my program , each day at a timesometimes i progress, sometimes I regress. I am learning that this too is normal process. What I mostly am in recovery is curious. And so I keep an open mind and look for new things to learn, always with a 'why not' in my head. Every...

ct1203 · ct1203

My son's birthday is this week and he wanted to go to the movies today. We had actually planned to take him for months when he found out about that the new Spiderman was being released close to his b'day. I had told my son that he could invited a couple of friends along but he replied no I wants us 4 (me, him,...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I don't know where I am going with this post .. it really has been a rough week .. just emotionally .. I'm so overly hormonal at the moment anyway and it just seems like everything is hitting at once .. it's completely going to be fine .. it means no procrastinating on my part and I still struggle with this c...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I'm struggling today. I heard from one of my 3 adult children who live an hour and a half away. They went out to brunch with their father and stepmother. My middle son, who texted me has always been close. My daughter has estranged herself from me since she was about 15. My oldest son had cleaned himself up...

el-cee · el-cee

Its time to take my recovery forward, time to get rid of one maybe two of my shortcomings, im not sure how it works yet, one at a time or do one get one free. Oh well, it doesnt matter. What matters is I stop procrastinating and being distracted by life and get back inside my head and do the work. Im still on st...

Tigger · Tigger

Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room. TOPICS: Honeaty Trust Open mindedness The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is irc.chat4...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Yesterday for work I drove a bus to where my mommy lives and got picked up for lunch and some shopping until time to go back to work, was great. We had a good lunch at a new place (my sister's ongoing New Year's resolution (3 years running) is to try a different place every month, very cool concept and she dis...

hotrod · hotrod

The quote below from"Say Yes to Life" confirms my experience with working the Steps of this priceless program Because we are willing to work this program we are all WINNERSI produced the failure in my life. For years I would blame everything and everyone - my parents, the job, my health...

moleinahole · moleinahole

Taken a lot of courage to come on here and tell my story. It is such a long one that I think I will keep it short in case I bore anyone. lol. I am a mum to a 3 year old and am 6 months pregnant. Our marriage is in a terrible mess and after 3 or 4 times of nearly leaving this is the last time I contemplate it and back out....

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Love and respect to you this weekend and always... I know holidays can be difficult and heart wrenching for many of us. Lots of (((((hugs))))) to the MIP family!

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

He will want some syrup to go with it. If you give him some syrup, he will want a napkin to wipe his mouth. And so on and so on. This is a great children's book that describes what I have experienced this last week. But my story involves accepting a dinner invitation with my AH. My daughter and I went out to ea...

texasgal · texasgal

I was a victim of domestic violence for many years. I was beaten at various times throughout my marriage. I am now separated from my soon to be ExAH. I have been able to heal or so I thought. The other day the doorbell rang I wasn't expecting anyone and I panicked. When I went to door it was a man selling newsp...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

You know when I look back at how things were between my exAH and I, it really used to bother me that I let so much go and didn't know any better. We got together when I was 17, that is only a year older than my oldest daughter. I came from abuse and dysfunction and had learned at a young age to walk on eggshells...

pinkchip · pinkchip

He was 72 and an alcoholic. He latched on to a little bit of AA towards the end (in the last 3 years or so). His quality of sobriety was questionable because of being so doped up on meds that it still seemed like he was drunk much of the time and he half-assed it with no step work so he still flipped out period...

Fifi · Fifi

I started posting and reading here years ago. I got so much help wisdom and gained strength. I left my alcoholic BF. Now I have another. he does not drink, but is not living an active recovery life. I feel sad and lonely and resentful a lot. I know it is time to work on ME. Thanks for still evening here.

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Sometimes it may seem like you can't figure it out by yourself. Sometimes will and strength and courage are not enough. Sometimes in your life you will need to call out for help. Call on HP. HP will be there.

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I don't know if this is disrespectful or hurtful to say, but, I so truly don't mean it to be. I mean it to be thankful. When I see some of you ladies talking here about your adult A sons it helps me to realise that my A's painful saga was going on long before I met him, and, it's probably going to go on long after I...

neshema2 · neshema2

I am the only one in my immediate sibling family who got into alanon and addressed the damage that alcoholic and dysfunctional/abusive families can do to a child....I am thriving in recovery and now help others to heal...I am the one who turned the evil and darkness into something positive and healin...

Ingwe · Ingwe

I have been on this roller coaster since 2004 with my AH son. Three years ago he was in rehab for a month and his girlfriend stood by him. After learning all about co-dependency, I believe she has been co-dependent on him since then. She had great hopes and dreams and has finally had enough. Things ha...

ladydiva0399 · ladydiva0399

My name is Deborah and I am a alcoholic/ addict in recovery. It was suggested for me to come to Alanon. Even though in recovery I really have an issue with being so obsessed with others, mostly my husband who has almost 9 years and I have 15 years. I am aware that I need to detach from my husband moves especia...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I can't "rush" his progress, but I am tired of waiting (Preview) My AH relapsed yet again. He is full of guilt and regret and is in that hamster wheel of trying to make up for his mistakes through "achievements". I suggested to him that He is chasing his tail. He has yet to go to a meeting. He likes to think that he is too complicated and different from everyon...	sadsusie	9	1076	May 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	feelings (Preview) I've had a bad week with work and personal life. My doorbell rang several times with no one at the door I finally called cops and made a report. My soon to be exah was violent and I did it for my own protection. My soon to be exAH has been posting pics of him and his young gf and saying how much she makes him smile...	texasgal	4	434	May 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	FRIDAY MORNING MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: LETTING OUR A MAKE OWN MISTAKES; ACTING AS IF; ENJOYING WHAT IS BEAUTiFUL (Preview) Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room. TOPICS: Letting our A make their own mistakes; Acting as if; Enjoying what is beautiful The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat c...	Tigger	0	266	May 16, 2014 by Tigger
	I can't, always get it right! (Preview) I really do struggle with life and people sometimes, the things people do and say, I rarely ask for anything from anyone but thats because right now I have never really had too, hubby said he would collect me the other night from a night out, but when I phoned to say I was ready I got no reply, after many atte...	Katy	3	355	May 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	My Day.. (Preview) Well I woke up late.. Yes depression kicked in at 4 am stayed up until 530 alarm goes off and called into work and said I'll be in at 10. I didn't go back to sleep.. Uggg All I thought about was my son !! What can he be doing? Where can he be? Is he ok? Is he safe? Is he dead or alive? That's when I jumped up got in the s...	Gaby	4	330	May 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	family (Preview) Alanon family group. I thought that meant it helped families of alcoholics which of course it does but it also means its a group of people who are like a family. In my meeting tonight an old timer shared about her a child and they are in a bad way, she was upset and it kind of hit me that I really care for her and...	el-cee	7	346	May 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Heart breaking... (Preview) My son has not made no contact with me .. Yes he ecknowledged Mother's Day and sent me a private message through Facebook. I have made my days better and remind myself that these are his choices he is making. I have no control of him nor do I want it. I always thought I would have control of any of his outcomes...	Gaby	8	315	May 15, 2014 by cerika111
	guilt! (Preview) I often find myself feeling guilty because I have unwittingly become the victim of someone elses bad behaviours, I have always put this down to myself not being strong enough or the other person being way too strong and clever, but today I think it has nothing to do with me really it's of my allowing some...	Katy	1	261	May 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	More venting (Preview) Thank you all in advance for letting me vent more. It's clear to me that I'm in over my head right now with everything. This realization that my ex-AH isn't reliable for even the little things is just the stress on top of it all. Our son is high-needs and as he gets older, it gets more challenging. I thin...	Mattie	15	600	May 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	re-visiting insanity (Preview) Hi-I am having an experience this week that reminds me of the insanity that can exist with alcoholic, dysfunctional family members. I am in the middle of trying to coordinate a group of my family getting to see my 91 yr old mother, probably for the last time. It's too long to explain the entire situati...	Lyne	4	389	May 15, 2014 by milkwood
	obsessive compulsive alanoner (Preview) Thats me. I have a tendency to become obsessive about anything really. Sometimes its a good thing, it helped me get my degree and my career, you should have seen me before my driving test, i hardly slept for three days before because i was reading and studying up on it. I am a fast learner because if this sw...	el-cee	15	500	May 15, 2014 by Katy
	thought this was cool---short and spot on (Preview)	neshema2	4	300	May 14, 2014 by PP
	At my meeting last night..... (Preview) I brought a friend that I thought could use some al-anon, which always makes me happy to share this program with a newcomer, but it got even better. My sponsors husband was there and he told me how great my letter and card were and that I should come and visit her tomorrow. So Thursday I am going to the nurs...	Breakingfree	7	469	May 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	One Day At A Time - May 14 (Preview) A long-time friend of AA, Dr. Harry M. Tiebout, clarified brilliantly the difference between submission and the surrender idea which is implied in Step One of the Twelve Steps. In submission, he said, an individual accepts reality consciously but not unconsciously. He accepts as a practical fact...	WorkingThroughIt	7	251	May 14, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	I'm back....:-) (Preview) Well after four years of complete and under chaos. I finally feel free. The ex-A has emailed however has not once shown up at my home, since the last incident. He has texted, but has not not texted once since my boundary. Today is pure peaceful bliss.	Truth	7	240	May 14, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Video Chat (Preview) Happy Mother's Day All I had a internet visit with my son this afternoon and he told me he will be sentenced on June 9th. So anyways we continued to chat then it came..... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM....I LOVE YOU AND SORRY I CAN'T BE WITH YOU. I told him thank you and it was the best gift he could have gotten me ju...	Cathyinaz	11	361	May 14, 2014 by neshema2
	WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9AM (EST) (Preview) WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9AM (EST) TOPICS: My life is unmanageable when I.... Serenity is attainable when I.... Sponsorship is.... The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other ch...	shimo	0	176	May 14, 2014 by shimo
	Please help. I feel my husband is a alcoholic. (Preview) He drinks a 750 bottle of whiskey or vodka in 2 days. Probably 2 bottles a week. Switches between that an a a 12 pack of beer he finishes in 2 days. It's not everyday. Every week is different but it's most days. I can't stand the way he is when he is drunk. He is either mean or overly affectionate. Am I wron...	Somesay4	6	366	May 14, 2014 by Debilyn
	chuggin along doin' that one day at a time (Preview) Hi all. My RAH has been home a week now. He's going about his own recovery and that is good. I had a weekend away with the kids planned for Mother's Day.......long before I knew he was coming home. So we left and I gave him instruction on how to care for the animals.....including our new Lionhead bunny...	jillybean1	5	322	May 13, 2014 by PP
	Happy Mothers" Day (Preview) To all the Al-Anon and MIP women in my life who have re-parented me and taught me to get in touch with my "female side" LOL... Imagine how I handled that one at the first suggestion. "Should I get my shots before doing that and exactly what step does that come under". LOL ...	Jerry F	10	578	May 13, 2014 by el-cee
	One Day At A Time - May 13 (Preview) MAY 13 What finally impels the spouse of an alcoholic to look for help in Al-Anon? One large factor is the need for reassurance, to know that were not responsible for the alcoholics drinking. We know we are being torn down, usually by the drinkers own guilt and self-reproach. This has left us without a s...	WorkingThroughIt	3	331	May 13, 2014 by el-cee
	Magic! (Preview) Have been really out of sorts the last few days- just...dropping things, fuzzy thinking, arguing instead of walking away and then getting upset about it...you know how it goes. Today I had a driving lesson and asked the A to drop me off on his way to work (my instructor and I meet in town so I can practice c...	Melly1248	14	601	May 13, 2014 by el-cee
	Managing the Chaos (Preview) I went on a very short business trip and my ex-AH took care of our son while I was gone. Now my ex-AH is a binge drinker who goes for long spells without drinking, so I had a reasonable expectation that there'd be no bingeing while I was gone. I saw no sign that there was, so I think my expectations were reas...	Mattie	8	637	May 13, 2014 by Debilyn
	one step forward, two steps back (Preview) Some days I really feel like I'm making progress in this program. Then there is today. My stress and emotions got way too high. My al-anon knowledge didn't provide enough to bring me anywhere close to serenity. I bawled my way through my face-to-face meeting tonight. And then, after sharing at th...	Sunrise	5	391	May 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	in retrospective-mixed feelings... (Preview) sometimes I am suck back into the should have/could have/would have -thinking. It's not a good place to put myself into. That's why I can only say, it's super important in recovery to write a journal, write down the facts. It will help in moments like those, when we are confused, or got our views distort...	tortuga	3	343	May 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	TUESDAY MEETING 9AM (EST) – TOPICS: PROBLEM SOLVING; 1ST THINGS 1ST; CHANGING WHAT I CAN (Preview) Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room at 9:00AM Eastern Standard Time Current Meeting Schedule: Group Business Meeting held in this room on The FIRST SUNDAY OF EACH MONTH immediately following 7PM meeting. ~ (Morning Meetings) Mon. - Fri. at 9am eastern time & Sat - Sun. - 10am eastern...	Desirae	0	261	May 13, 2014 by Desirae
	Unsure and yet I know .. (Preview) or at least speculate is a better way to say it .. I'm just relying on my intuition and doing what is best for me at this point. If he's really not drinking .. truly .. I feel REALLY sorry for him .. I think I would want to end it all than be stuck thinking the way he does and not be drunk. I would be in a mental war...	SerenityRUS	2	648	May 13, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Phone Calls from the Alternate Universe (Preview) Spending some time reflecting, praying, trying to hear HP and not use prayer for my own will but prayer for HP to guide me has given me some nice gifts. A called and came over after bailing out on me again to get drunk. I asked him to leave. He gave dramatic speech is this is how it ends. I said yes. He asked me n...	mm830	7	291	May 13, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Making a list (Preview) I sat down and made a list: a list stating why I have separated myself from my AH. I was starting to feel guilty because he's been above and beyond normal these past 2 days (birthday and mother's day) and I was feeling guilty because all I see is manipulation and future pain when I look at him. I resent his...	ilovedogs	12	596	May 12, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Aha moment (Preview) Yesterday AH was HAPPY! It was really out of the ordinary and I started to wonder why, it was just mid-morning. Decided to just let it be and continue on. fast forward couple hours, falling "asleep" at lunch claiming it was the baby that kept him up and was tired, awhile later I went into garag...	Kerrymom	7	580	May 12, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	tired but content (Preview) Things are going well w/ my sisters. They are visiting but my mom on the other hand...more later!	Hoot Nanny	1	260	May 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Set a boundary follow through.... (Preview) I told my ex-A that "if he texted me about anything other than arrangements for my son, I would block him" Today, he thought bc he was being nice he could text. I blocked him.	Truth	7	380	May 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Mother's Day update :) (Preview) The kids went and visited with their dad .. my poor daughter had a major panic attack during the visitation .. she's very over his behavior. She hasn't had a panic attack for months and he is a definite trigger for her. Thankfully she has a therapy appointment tomorrow. We have all hit a false sense of...	SerenityRUS	5	335	May 12, 2014 by el-cee
	My Kitty Ruby (Preview) I lost my Ruby this morning. She had kidney failure and she wasn't going to get well. I had to have her put down. I'm so sad but I did have 10 good years of love with her. Rest in peace Ruby...I love you	Cathyinaz	17	603	May 12, 2014 by Ingwe
	When it is time to leave, how to proceed? (Preview) Hi all, This is my first post in several years. A little history... I married my wife in 2001. She has always battled alcoholism. About 3 years ago, the longest and most difficult battle arose. It lasted a year and a half. During that time, she lost her job, was hospitalized twice and arrested twice, o...	Tool1248	8	547	May 12, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Feel so down (Preview) I think I remember that when I feel so down it is time to do something for me.... but it feels so far from possible today. Adolescent daughters and my work as a nurse and a sober BF who feels a million miles away. Everything weighs on me. So many struggles. I know there is a brighter day ahead, but it sure is ha...	Fifi	5	296	May 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Did anyone else have a difficult mothers day? (Preview) Hello, This is my first post and i apologise in advance for any major mistakes... We had a baby girl last year. I was really looking forward to my role as a mother being acknowledged in even some tiny way (a home made card, a cooked meal, some flowers picked from the garden etc.) - nothing expensive, extra...	Angrywife	10	495	May 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Beneath the role of Mother is a person (Preview) On yet another Mother's Day, I remember that: I was a girl child who loved to make clover rings, bake mud pies in the sunlight, stick my teddy behind a door with a corn pop in his rubber mouth waiting for him to magically eat it when I wasn't looking, stand in closets that I pretended were elevators that I o...	grateful2be	11	449	May 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Mothers Day Expectations (Preview) Well, I was very determined to have an amazing day, just my girl and I. I had such wonderful plans! But daughter has been sick all week and is fed up with coughing and being stuck at home with me and being bored. She's not in the best of moods. (To put it mildly). So the reality of today was- dragging a sullen c...	Melly1248	6	464	May 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Al-Anon or CODA? (Preview) Hello everyone, I am new to this site and would like to say "hello", as well as ask a question. I am finding myself a bit confused on the difference between al-anon and coda.When I was first introduced to al-anon many years ago, we were co-dependents, now it seems that is a totally separate p...	Reeny	11	1592	May 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	a little red nose that can change everything... (Preview) Hello MIP family, I am in recovery, working my program , each day at a timesometimes i progress, sometimes I regress. I am learning that this too is normal process. What I mostly am in recovery is curious. And so I keep an open mind and look for new things to learn, always with a 'why not' in my head. Every...	tortuga	2	359	May 12, 2014 by milkwood
	Birthday Fun (Preview) My son's birthday is this week and he wanted to go to the movies today. We had actually planned to take him for months when he found out about that the new Spiderman was being released close to his b'day. I had told my son that he could invited a couple of friends along but he replied no I wants us 4 (me, him,...	ct1203	2	356	May 11, 2014 by Sunrise
	Fear, control and the cha-cha .. (Preview) I don't know where I am going with this post .. it really has been a rough week .. just emotionally .. I'm so overly hormonal at the moment anyway and it just seems like everything is hitting at once .. it's completely going to be fine .. it means no procrastinating on my part and I still struggle with this c...	SerenityRUS	7	648	May 11, 2014 by Truth
	I know better, but still (Preview) I'm struggling today. I heard from one of my 3 adult children who live an hour and a half away. They went out to brunch with their father and stepmother. My middle son, who texted me has always been close. My daughter has estranged herself from me since she was about 15. My oldest son had cleaned himself up...	Raven Juniper	6	333	May 11, 2014 by Sunrise
	progressing (Preview) Its time to take my recovery forward, time to get rid of one maybe two of my shortcomings, im not sure how it works yet, one at a time or do one get one free. Oh well, it doesnt matter. What matters is I stop procrastinating and being distracted by life and get back inside my head and do the work. Im still on st...	el-cee	6	251	May 11, 2014 by Jerry F
	SUNDAY NIGHT MEETING 7PM (EST) - TOPICS: HONEsTY; TRUST; OPEN MInDEDNESS (Preview) Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room. TOPICS: Honeaty Trust Open mindedness The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is irc.chat4...	Tigger	0	165	May 11, 2014 by Tigger
	Mother's Day (Preview) Yesterday for work I drove a bus to where my mommy lives and got picked up for lunch and some shopping until time to go back to work, was great. We had a good lunch at a new place (my sister's ongoing New Year's resolution (3 years running) is to try a different place every month, very cool concept and she dis...	likemyheart	4	337	May 11, 2014 by Raven Juniper
	My Meditation for the day (Preview) The quote below from"Say Yes to Life" confirms my experience with working the Steps of this priceless program Because we are willing to work this program we are all WINNERSI produced the failure in my life. For years I would blame everything and everyone - my parents, the job, my health...	hotrod	5	315	May 11, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Please help. Should I leave him before or after the baby is born? :-( (Preview) Taken a lot of courage to come on here and tell my story. It is such a long one that I think I will keep it short in case I bore anyone. lol. I am a mum to a 3 year old and am 6 months pregnant. Our marriage is in a terrible mess and after 3 or 4 times of nearly leaving this is the last time I contemplate it and back out....	moleinahole	15	405	May 11, 2014 by likemyheart
	Mothers' Day Wishes (Preview) Love and respect to you this weekend and always... I know holidays can be difficult and heart wrenching for many of us. Lots of (((((hugs))))) to the MIP family!	Raven Juniper	4	207	May 11, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	If You Give a Pig a Pancake... (Preview) He will want some syrup to go with it. If you give him some syrup, he will want a napkin to wipe his mouth. And so on and so on. This is a great children's book that describes what I have experienced this last week. But my story involves accepting a dinner invitation with my AH. My daughter and I went out to ea...	Newlife girl	8	533	May 11, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	domestic violence (Preview) I was a victim of domestic violence for many years. I was beaten at various times throughout my marriage. I am now separated from my soon to be ExAH. I have been able to heal or so I thought. The other day the doorbell rang I wasn't expecting anyone and I panicked. When I went to door it was a man selling newsp...	texasgal	12	1180	May 11, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Perspective is huge! (Preview) You know when I look back at how things were between my exAH and I, it really used to bother me that I let so much go and didn't know any better. We got together when I was 17, that is only a year older than my oldest daughter. I came from abuse and dysfunction and had learned at a young age to walk on eggshells...	Breakingfree	10	469	May 10, 2014 by Fifi
	Partner's father died (Preview) He was 72 and an alcoholic. He latched on to a little bit of AA towards the end (in the last 3 years or so). His quality of sobriety was questionable because of being so doped up on meds that it still seemed like he was drunk much of the time and he half-assed it with no step work so he still flipped out period...	pinkchip	15	497	May 10, 2014 by el-cee
	Back years later. (Preview) I started posting and reading here years ago. I got so much help wisdom and gained strength. I left my alcoholic BF. Now I have another. he does not drink, but is not living an active recovery life. I feel sad and lonely and resentful a lot. I know it is time to work on ME. Thanks for still evening here.	Fifi	7	421	May 10, 2014 by Fifi
	Reading my message from HP (Preview) Sometimes it may seem like you can't figure it out by yourself. Sometimes will and strength and courage are not enough. Sometimes in your life you will need to call out for help. Call on HP. HP will be there.	Cathyinaz	6	277	May 10, 2014 by oldergal
	When you talk about adult sons.. (Preview) I don't know if this is disrespectful or hurtful to say, but, I so truly don't mean it to be. I mean it to be thankful. When I see some of you ladies talking here about your adult A sons it helps me to realise that my A's painful saga was going on long before I met him, and, it's probably going to go on long after I...	Melly1248	10	525	May 10, 2014 by Jill
	the "shame" of being in recovery (Preview) I am the only one in my immediate sibling family who got into alanon and addressed the damage that alcoholic and dysfunctional/abusive families can do to a child....I am thriving in recovery and now help others to heal...I am the one who turned the evil and darkness into something positive and healin...	neshema2	21	613	May 10, 2014 by neshema2
	I did it .. (Preview) I have been on this roller coaster since 2004 with my AH son. Three years ago he was in rehab for a month and his girlfriend stood by him. After learning all about co-dependency, I believe she has been co-dependent on him since then. She had great hopes and dreams and has finally had enough. Things ha...	Ingwe	7	401	May 10, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	codependency and obession/Newcomer (Preview) My name is Deborah and I am a alcoholic/ addict in recovery. It was suggested for me to come to Alanon. Even though in recovery I really have an issue with being so obsessed with others, mostly my husband who has almost 9 years and I have 15 years. I am aware that I need to detach from my husband moves especia...	ladydiva0399	6	584	May 9, 2014 by grateful2be
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