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Fearful of myself & my actions towards others
(Preview)
Hi everyone!
I hope that what I'm going to say makes sense.. In coping (or not coping) with my Qualifier...I find that I'm fearful of myself (not because I want to harm myself..I'd never do that!)..but I'm fearful of how angry I am towards myself for not coping with this better. Maybe this will help..I...
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phoenixmagicgirl
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8
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463
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It is done!
(Preview)
my sponsor went to meet her maker at 8 pm tonight and she was surrounded by so much love. Her husband and I called our team of caregivers and we played music and told stories and with the moon shining off the lake out the back sliding doors we celebrated an amazing person leaving earth tonight. It was truly...
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Breakingfree
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11
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644
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I got out of the tunnel !
(Preview)
I haven't been on this board much over the last year. This morning as I read several post that all sounded so similar to my experience... The alcoholic lies, makes promises and then doesn't keep, blames it all on me, I'm angry and acting out with others etc. Yes, we are sick too because of the disease and I...
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glad
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6
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422
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making amends
(Preview)
Ive been thinking about amends as I am planning to do some step work and work on step 8. I ahve made amends to my family through my changed attitude but I would like to make direct amends through an apology. However, I dont think anyone in my family would be comfortable with that. I imagine they will say no...
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el-cee
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12
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5770
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You know ..
(Preview)
When you think that it can't get anymore weirder .. My daughter text her dad to see about Father's Day visitation .. she gets back he can't as his mother is coming home from the hospital and so he will see them next weekend. Then proceeds to ask her if she's bored at home. The text I get is an awful picture o...
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SerenityRUS
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6
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477
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meeting?
(Preview)
Hi..is there not a meeting on now?
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jm
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0
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238
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One security system......check
(Preview)
I am in the process of getting my security system..... Yipee 
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Truth
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13
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556
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Life Does Get Better
(Preview)
It's been 3 years since I separated from my AH and a little over a year since his passing. I still think about him every day, but I'm moving forward. I've made new friends whom I never would have met if not for the way my life has turned out. I've recreated my life, and rediscovered my faith in my HP, whom I cal...
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Green Eyes
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4
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388
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Happy Father's Day Weekend
(Preview)
For all of you who are dads, or mentoring young people like a father might, or being a mom doing the work of both parents, I want to wish a happy time for you this weekend celebrating who you are and what you have been able to accomplish as a person who cares for a child. Happy Father's Day! -- Edited by gra...
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grateful2be
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15
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538
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I have wishes and still
(Preview)
I am powerless. Happy Fathers Day to all of the guys who are fathers here and else where and all of the mothers who are doing double duty, you are amazing. We are celebrating today, Saturday with my third son and his wife and daughters and I have memories of my other sons who are not here even when I wis...
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Jerry F
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7
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500
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Should I explain.....
(Preview)
I'm living witha " productive(at least until 5pm) AH, my 13yr old daughter , and my 4yr old Son. Does anyone have any advice regarding explaining to my 13yr old what's really happening with her asshole A father? She absolutesly hates him because of how he acts while drinking, before drinking, a...
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JayBird66
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9
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565
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AW sober, but still cheating...
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
As I cry and write this I fight between my head and my heart. We have been married for almost 18 years and together for longer than that. Our marriage had it's normal set of ups and downs, but once the alcoholism/pain pills took over her life all hell broke loose. She had cheated on me with at least two ot...
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Needing Help
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42
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1400
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In effect I am being asked to choose between my recovery or his potential recovery
(Preview)
I continue to contemplate staying or going. Yet, it has gotten more extreme. My AH is planning an overseas move. I had yet another conversation with him about how he is "ready" for therapy. He is waiting on our doctor, who is amazing and he met with a week and a half ago, to call him back with t...
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sadsusie
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15
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674
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Abuse
(Preview)
My wife came out of private detox a year ago. Before she went in I was physically and emotionally abusive towards her. I'd grab her arms and shake her or pin her down and scream at her. This has happened a number of time since she came out which has led up to her drinking again and has became dependant over t...
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George555
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12
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932
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What is real anymore?i am insane!
(Preview)
I want to cry but the tears don't flow. My kids wonder why I don't cry about dad. I don't even know what is real. I hear my voice sayings things that I can't believe I am saying. I used to be nice and happy nowI am not sure what to feel. My husband said he quit drinking. I don't know what to believe because of...
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hopes314
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14
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696
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Dating An Active Drinker
(Preview)
So I have been actively going to al-anon meeting for a little over a month 3 days a week and I feel that it has really helped. I feel stronger and better about my self. I feel like I am in a better place. I tried al-anon a couple years ago and I just wasn't ready but I feel now I am. I'm actively looking for a sp...
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Popcorn
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7
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746
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Start Praying now ..
(Preview)
I am sooo grateful .. I just heard from my atty and what we will be doing is on 7/1 I will be divorced .. the Judge is over the delays. STBAX has NOT provided any financials and we are just trying to go over what we can and base the offer about what we know about .. soooo it's just going to take some time and I will...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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356
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the albatross
(Preview)
He is like a baby. Things have deteriorated so fast, I guess they probably haven't but i wasn't aware before, i was too busy reacting to see the whole picture. He lies on his mattress in his underpants all day playing computer games surrounded by empty bottles and shouts at me. It's my fault he lost his jo...
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missmeliss
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10
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398
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I need to ask about feelings
(Preview)
Good Morning All I have not tried to make contact with my son and he in turn has not called since the sentencing. I feel this guilt that I should reach out but again I don't want to. He hasn't reach out to me by calling so I have let it go. My thought is leave him alone to digest what is happening and not try...
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Cathyinaz
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19
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963
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Doing hospice for my sponsor
(Preview)
As some of you know I have done 12 years of home hospice private care and now I am glad to get to spend the time with my very own sponsor. She is an amazing lady and was released to go home and finish out her life on her terms. Her husband asked me to be a part of the care team and I am honored. She helped me through...
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Breakingfree
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11
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468
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Saying goodbye with gratitude
(Preview)
Today, my assistant and I finished cleaning two huge rooms in a local church building in the inner-City neighborhood where I hosted the oldest of my organization's children's programs. We've been working steadily in the humidity and heat throwing away dried up paint, sparkly glue, the lists of n...
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grateful2be
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14
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532
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So I called the cops.
(Preview)
So he hit me one too many times. He took my phone, smacked me in the head and would't let me leave the property, OMG I called the police and they took him away. Nothing makes sense. Nothing. He snarled and hated me so much as they took him, he was all sensible and woulnd't even look at me, OMG what have I done....
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missmeliss
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38
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973
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Doing nice things for me is all in relation to A's bad behavior.
(Preview)
I have been thinking a lot about how I am on the fence here "waiting" for A to get sober. At this point we are selling our house to move overseas. But in all reality, I am just ready to pay off our bills and to find an apartment while HE moves. That decision is still not a commitment though, cause I (...
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sadsusie
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8
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431
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Hurting
(Preview)
I have been doing so much better. I have been focusing on me and my daughter, going to meetings, hanging out with friends and spending time with family. I have been staying out of his drama, not instigating, de-escalating, backing off, letting things go instead of pushing And getting so much bett...
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1lostmom
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4
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424
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Bring on the recovery roller coaster
(Preview)
Well, my AH sat me down and had the, "I'm an alcoholic and you were right" talk. He admitted to his insanity, he praised me for being stubborn with my program and for holding the home and our lives together and for not kicking him out. He has found a sponsor and says he is ready to jump fully in t...
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andromeda
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24
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542
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Lawyer says....
(Preview)
Lawyer says just say no. Starting to feel a little better. I got firm instructions from the lawyer. So of course this is going to escalate but I will be prepared.
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Truth
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11
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336
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perspective needed
(Preview)
My adult daughter (39) has been floundering all her life. In and out of programs, jail, the usual. She is currently living in a homeless shelter in a bad part of town. She called me and wanted me to give her some money I owe her so that she can take a bus to the Cape to stay with her father. She has her thing...
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Minneha
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1
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245
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Advice needed
(Preview)
It is time for me to get my 34 year old son out of the house. He relapsed. Said he would be out in a month, Detoxed at home and now I am finding strong evidence he is using again. He is very volatile and defensive when I ask him to leave. I am determined for him to leave by Monday. I want to write him a letter...
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Pamela1954
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4
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486
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Update A went on a binge
(Preview)
Well things have not got any better to much has happen since my last update . 2 weeks ago my A ex started to harass me again on the phone . I could not take any more verbal abuse I could not take any more how I ruined the marriage . I have a RO on him and I not once made a phone call to police all these times he bother m...
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Wisdom67
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7
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548
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I have stopped crying
(Preview)
Got it all out and now to move on and look for the better in all this. There can be "BETTER" I know this because my HP told me so because he loves me and my son. ((( hugs )))
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Cathyinaz
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12
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523
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Marrying an Alcoholic
(Preview)
I started dating him over 3.5 years ago and after about 6 months I had a feeling he had a drinking problem. It caused a lot of fights and I guess I just didn't want to admit that he actually was. About 2 years later we bought a house together and 8 months later he admitted that he was an alcoholic and addicted t...
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bail01
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21
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653
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Really need support :*(
(Preview)
I met the alcoholic/drug addict in April 2013. I didn't know he was what he was until it was too late. I got pregnant two months into the relationship and "tried" to do the right thing by sticking with him. I'm 34 years old and was very careful. It really was an accident. In the process, I c...
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ksmommy80
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6
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380
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Separation?
(Preview)
I am strongly thinking about separating with my AH. What should I consider? I read that separation won't solve my problems, I need to be in al anon for at least 6 month before making any changes. I have not even started al anon yet. We are selling the house now, and will be out of it in 8 days. My dad is coming f...
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Venera
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11
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699
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Step 8
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57785803/alanon-step-8/
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hotrod
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2
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402
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Wow feeling relaxed... And sleepy
(Preview)
I feel relaxed and sleepy. It feels so good rather than feeling hyper-alert. It is so peaceful.
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Truth
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5
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296
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He says I'm responsible...am I??
(Preview)
Apologies for the length of this post. I've been married to my alcoholic husband for almost 5 years. When we met, he drank, but nothing like now. He has anxiety, panic disorder, and a host of physical problems (fatty liver, chronic and bloody diarrhea, possible colitis, etc). He's a stay at home f...
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vakick
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11
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539
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Slight change in message board format... Please read.
(Preview)
Hi everyone, Previously the post at the top of the board would be based on the date it was started. Now, I have changed it so that when a post is replied to, it is moved to the top of the board, so the reply doesn't get lost at the bottom of the board and can be seen and replied to by both the original poster, as w...
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John
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17
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748
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I'm lazy - note to John
(Preview)
I just want you to know that I hope this trial period on the reversal of the way the board works gets extended into a forever period. I am basically lazy and I am delighted I no longer have to scroll down the pages looking for highlighted posts. I love that posts are immediately available to read or to se...
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grateful2be
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6
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393
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I need to take breaks
(Preview)
from the clouds and drabness of life so that I can see the beauty all around me. Sometimes I need to see beauty which is totally unexpected to shake my senses into a gasp and a WOW!! Here is just one of those I got in the last day. I've got absolutely no sense of negative in me now. HP whispered "S...
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Jerry F
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15
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523
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I can't stop crying
(Preview)
Well it's over. My son got 2.5 years and the judge was mad at him because what he said about his education, hard life and everything....my son thought that would help but it didn't....she gave him what the prosecutor wanted. She told him he should have known better being such a smart person. Why he con...
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Cathyinaz
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15
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655
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Harrassment ugh!
(Preview)
Well I have noticed my barn gate and front gate have been latched different two times.... Then someone decided my caretakers should not be living in their new fifth wheel....Many people have to leave their homes and move into their rv's. Someone made up a craigslist post as me, saying they had thirty s...
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Debilyn
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5
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463
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My new image
(Preview)
I decided to change my avatar to embrace my feminine side, do you like my picture? She was the only feminine or sexy chicken I could find, who would have thought there was a shortage of feminine chickens? Anyway, I want to put recent events behind me and remain grateful to be a member of this fellowship an...
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el-cee
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8
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469
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What the Essay Posts brought to mind
(Preview)
It has taken me a while to determine exactly what "I" think and feel about the essay posts of late - see if you follow me here and I'll try to make my thoughts clear. I had two easy babies 14 years apart. Once I ate cauliflower and broccoli and gave one of them colic (I was nursing) and discovered t...
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likemyheart
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18
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845
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Introducing Rocky
(Preview)
Well he is far from a hen but does love to strut around the hen house! He is quite beautiful and sweet as a lamb! No he is not A. But I love him anyway! (c:
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Debilyn
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3
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263
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freedom to create
(Preview)
Let me preface this by saying I am an artist and have been seriously for over the last decade. My creativity has been less than stellar for the last 5 years BUT Ever since I've been gong to al-anon I have learned so much about what I was needlessly carrying around with me. It is NOT my responsibility and s...
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intoit
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6
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420
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Prayers for the boards/ how I'm feeling
(Preview)
I just want to say I am here to share my recovery, I am not here to pick other people apart. If my opinion differs I may state that. I'm feeling like things have gotten really ugly around here the past few days and I am wondering how that might appear to a newcomer that needs our help? Where is God in all this? w...
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karma13
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20
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754
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Grateful today!
(Preview)
many times before and early in recovery I was thinking: 'why me? why us, why do I think so much, why do I ask so many questions..why did I realize, why can't I just ignore, get over ..why why why?' I found what happened to us/me so unfair. I liked the self-pity and I liked my sense of entitlement, i liked my...
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tortuga
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3
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251
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the joys of alcoholism
(Preview)
I had a pretty frustrating night last night and today. It has been 2 or 3 mo since I saw my alcoholic exbf , And I'll say it has been pretty peaceful and calm!! I do not miss his alcoholism!!! But I do miss the real him. We haven't talked, and he called me Sunday to see how I was doing and tell me he really misses m...
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giraffe13
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6
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520
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time for some heavy sponsor work w/my workbook
(Preview)
I just got a new workbook in the mail "a workbook for healing adult children of alcoholics" by Patty McConnell I think in view of recent events, I need to take a step back...reflect...work this book...sponsor is healed enough from her shingles to work w/me on it....I want to take a big loo...
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neshema2
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8
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477
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Finally feeling in the right direction....
(Preview)
I just have to say after months of not "knowing" what to do I finally feel pointed in the right direction. I got a call from the shelter. I am on the waiting list for the support group. I start the individual counseling soon. My security system is getting installed on Friday. I would like to tha...
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Truth
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7
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271
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at my wits end
(Preview)
I have been living with my partner for almost 3 years, now. Whilst I Kew he was an alcoholic when I met him he was holding down a job and had a 4 beers a day rule. In the past 2 years work has dried up, he works in the building industry, so spends more time at home. Little by little, he has started drinking more. I...
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ShirleyV
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18
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887
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It's unbelievable...
(Preview)
After an ok Sunday as a family when he drank but didn't show signs of drunkness, everything crumbles again. He just came drunk from work, asked me if I was ok and I was in silence. Asked me if he could have a hug and a kiss and I said NO. Asked why I was upset: - Because you are drunk. - But I am just trying to provi...
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Luiza
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19
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446
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Do you guys go on vacation with AH/AW?
(Preview)
Have a 10 year anniversary already booked in 2 weeks to Mexico. Drinking situation was much better when we planned this trip. last december when we went as a family, the AH was drunk half of the trip and we had to stay away from him most of the time. I guess that somehow changed things and for 4 months he was n...
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Venera
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8
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581
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Getting worse and worse
(Preview)
As if it wasn't enough of my AH losing his job, all the moving issues etc he is drinking again. Well this time it got worse. Since he wasn't in any condition to take care of kids I had to go to work with them, stay a few hours and then take my work home. Finally after taking care of everything I was putting kids t...
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Venera
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12
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516
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I think I will stay off this :-)
(Preview)
it's worse than the merry-go-round.
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Cathyinaz
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6
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397
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alcoholic son
(Preview)
HELP! I just don't know what to do anymore! a very long story I will try to downsize. Son is 39, a month agoh is wife left(another man) and he has been drinking alot since although he says he has always had a drink or a few drinks after work for the last few years. He drinks about a liter most days. I went with hi...
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NLM
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13
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899
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Feeling conflicted. I have household/personal decisions to make.
(Preview)
Today is Monday, the beginning of the week, where you set out your plans for the week. I sure would like to set out my plans for my month. There is a year long college class that is offered by my church and the deadline is in a few weeks. I have an opportunity to see the founder of a company (this new business th...
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sadsusie
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14
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4144
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Thoughts on the core of our spiritual program: Humility
(Preview)
Yesterday I was startled by some of the things I read here about a certain poster who shared an article he wrote - and then I just burst out laughing! What a silly life we create and live, trying to control our controlling nature! LOLOLOL As a person affected by an alcoholic father and a codependent mot...
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Tasha
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31
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773
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Crushed
(Preview)
So today is my brother's 1 year sober! I'm so happy and proud of him, he is doing great. He is the reason I started alanon and coming to this board. Sadly, although my brother is sober, ever since I became pregnant with my 1st child last year, I've noticed my husband has been increasing his drinking. H...
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Sam813
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8
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365
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Okay, okay... I'll do it. Essays? Articles?
(Preview)
While I truly feel that the subject of Essay's has already gotten more attention than it should have because it took time and attention away from the newcomer and others in need of our time and attention, several people have PM'd me and asked that I be willing to copy my response to the thread about Relat...
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John
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5
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2862
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