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He says I'm responsible...am I??
(Preview)
Apologies for the length of this post. I've been married to my alcoholic husband for almost 5 years. When we met, he drank, but nothing like now. He has anxiety, panic disorder, and a host of physical problems (fatty liver, chronic and bloody diarrhea, possible colitis, etc). He's a stay at home f...
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vakick
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11
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458
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Slight change in message board format... Please read.
(Preview)
Hi everyone, Previously the post at the top of the board would be based on the date it was started. Now, I have changed it so that when a post is replied to, it is moved to the top of the board, so the reply doesn't get lost at the bottom of the board and can be seen and replied to by both the original poster, as w...
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John
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17
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666
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I'm lazy - note to John
(Preview)
I just want you to know that I hope this trial period on the reversal of the way the board works gets extended into a forever period. I am basically lazy and I am delighted I no longer have to scroll down the pages looking for highlighted posts. I love that posts are immediately available to read or to se...
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grateful2be
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6
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311
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I need to take breaks
(Preview)
from the clouds and drabness of life so that I can see the beauty all around me. Sometimes I need to see beauty which is totally unexpected to shake my senses into a gasp and a WOW!! Here is just one of those I got in the last day. I've got absolutely no sense of negative in me now. HP whispered "S...
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Jerry F
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15
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440
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I can't stop crying
(Preview)
Well it's over. My son got 2.5 years and the judge was mad at him because what he said about his education, hard life and everything....my son thought that would help but it didn't....she gave him what the prosecutor wanted. She told him he should have known better being such a smart person. Why he con...
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Cathyinaz
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15
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573
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Harrassment ugh!
(Preview)
Well I have noticed my barn gate and front gate have been latched different two times.... Then someone decided my caretakers should not be living in their new fifth wheel....Many people have to leave their homes and move into their rv's. Someone made up a craigslist post as me, saying they had thirty s...
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Debilyn
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5
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377
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My new image
(Preview)
I decided to change my avatar to embrace my feminine side, do you like my picture? She was the only feminine or sexy chicken I could find, who would have thought there was a shortage of feminine chickens? Anyway, I want to put recent events behind me and remain grateful to be a member of this fellowship an...
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el-cee
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8
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389
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What the Essay Posts brought to mind
(Preview)
It has taken me a while to determine exactly what "I" think and feel about the essay posts of late - see if you follow me here and I'll try to make my thoughts clear. I had two easy babies 14 years apart. Once I ate cauliflower and broccoli and gave one of them colic (I was nursing) and discovered t...
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likemyheart
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18
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766
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Introducing Rocky
(Preview)
Well he is far from a hen but does love to strut around the hen house! He is quite beautiful and sweet as a lamb! No he is not A. But I love him anyway! (c:
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Debilyn
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3
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179
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freedom to create
(Preview)
Let me preface this by saying I am an artist and have been seriously for over the last decade. My creativity has been less than stellar for the last 5 years BUT Ever since I've been gong to al-anon I have learned so much about what I was needlessly carrying around with me. It is NOT my responsibility and s...
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intoit
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6
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337
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Prayers for the boards/ how I'm feeling
(Preview)
I just want to say I am here to share my recovery, I am not here to pick other people apart. If my opinion differs I may state that. I'm feeling like things have gotten really ugly around here the past few days and I am wondering how that might appear to a newcomer that needs our help? Where is God in all this? w...
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karma13
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20
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660
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Grateful today!
(Preview)
many times before and early in recovery I was thinking: 'why me? why us, why do I think so much, why do I ask so many questions..why did I realize, why can't I just ignore, get over ..why why why?' I found what happened to us/me so unfair. I liked the self-pity and I liked my sense of entitlement, i liked my...
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tortuga
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3
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172
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the joys of alcoholism
(Preview)
I had a pretty frustrating night last night and today. It has been 2 or 3 mo since I saw my alcoholic exbf , And I'll say it has been pretty peaceful and calm!! I do not miss his alcoholism!!! But I do miss the real him. We haven't talked, and he called me Sunday to see how I was doing and tell me he really misses m...
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giraffe13
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6
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436
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time for some heavy sponsor work w/my workbook
(Preview)
I just got a new workbook in the mail "a workbook for healing adult children of alcoholics" by Patty McConnell I think in view of recent events, I need to take a step back...reflect...work this book...sponsor is healed enough from her shingles to work w/me on it....I want to take a big loo...
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neshema2
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8
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399
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Finally feeling in the right direction....
(Preview)
I just have to say after months of not "knowing" what to do I finally feel pointed in the right direction. I got a call from the shelter. I am on the waiting list for the support group. I start the individual counseling soon. My security system is getting installed on Friday. I would like to tha...
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Truth
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7
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195
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at my wits end
(Preview)
I have been living with my partner for almost 3 years, now. Whilst I Kew he was an alcoholic when I met him he was holding down a job and had a 4 beers a day rule. In the past 2 years work has dried up, he works in the building industry, so spends more time at home. Little by little, he has started drinking more. I...
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ShirleyV
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18
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790
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It's unbelievable...
(Preview)
After an ok Sunday as a family when he drank but didn't show signs of drunkness, everything crumbles again. He just came drunk from work, asked me if I was ok and I was in silence. Asked me if he could have a hug and a kiss and I said NO. Asked why I was upset: - Because you are drunk. - But I am just trying to provi...
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Luiza
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19
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366
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Do you guys go on vacation with AH/AW?
(Preview)
Have a 10 year anniversary already booked in 2 weeks to Mexico. Drinking situation was much better when we planned this trip. last december when we went as a family, the AH was drunk half of the trip and we had to stay away from him most of the time. I guess that somehow changed things and for 4 months he was n...
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Venera
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8
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495
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Getting worse and worse
(Preview)
As if it wasn't enough of my AH losing his job, all the moving issues etc he is drinking again. Well this time it got worse. Since he wasn't in any condition to take care of kids I had to go to work with them, stay a few hours and then take my work home. Finally after taking care of everything I was putting kids t...
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Venera
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12
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432
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I think I will stay off this :-)
(Preview)
it's worse than the merry-go-round.
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Cathyinaz
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6
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309
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alcoholic son
(Preview)
HELP! I just don't know what to do anymore! a very long story I will try to downsize. Son is 39, a month agoh is wife left(another man) and he has been drinking alot since although he says he has always had a drink or a few drinks after work for the last few years. He drinks about a liter most days. I went with hi...
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NLM
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13
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815
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Feeling conflicted. I have household/personal decisions to make.
(Preview)
Today is Monday, the beginning of the week, where you set out your plans for the week. I sure would like to set out my plans for my month. There is a year long college class that is offered by my church and the deadline is in a few weeks. I have an opportunity to see the founder of a company (this new business th...
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sadsusie
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14
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3488
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Thoughts on the core of our spiritual program: Humility
(Preview)
Yesterday I was startled by some of the things I read here about a certain poster who shared an article he wrote - and then I just burst out laughing! What a silly life we create and live, trying to control our controlling nature! LOLOLOL As a person affected by an alcoholic father and a codependent mot...
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Tasha
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31
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686
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Crushed
(Preview)
So today is my brother's 1 year sober! I'm so happy and proud of him, he is doing great. He is the reason I started alanon and coming to this board. Sadly, although my brother is sober, ever since I became pregnant with my 1st child last year, I've noticed my husband has been increasing his drinking. H...
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Sam813
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8
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279
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Okay, okay... I'll do it. Essays? Articles?
(Preview)
While I truly feel that the subject of Essay's has already gotten more attention than it should have because it took time and attention away from the newcomer and others in need of our time and attention, several people have PM'd me and asked that I be willing to copy my response to the thread about Relat...
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John
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5
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2510
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Manipulative People
(Preview)
There is a man at one of the Al-Anon meetings I used to go to who was very maniplulative and a jerk to be honest.. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with person's such as this? Thank you.
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phoenixmagicgirl
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9
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397
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Not so happy today
(Preview)
When I voice an opinion on anything it gets discounted. So I don't say anything. When I said that an action hurt my feelings, I was told 's*** happens'. This afternoon AH said that our relationship counsellor had told him that affairs often happen when the spouse is pregnant or has recently lost a love...
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milkwood
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25
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608
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The Amends not to make... (humor)
(Preview)
"Honey, I am so so sorry I said you were a stupid idiot, I didn't mean it as a news flash, surprise or anything like that, I honesty thought you already knew! So, that's my side of the street... Thinking a stupid idiot would have already known something before I told them... I'm really sorry."
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John
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6
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306
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Thoughts
(Preview)
"When you allow the wrong people in your house, stuff will come up missing Like: Joy, Peace, Love, Hope, Faith. Wishing you Peace and Blessings
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Beatrice
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4
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169
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A purge or something.
(Preview)
Sometimes I could swear that every single thing I do to try to improve my situation or "do the right thing" is met with such opposition from the universe that I might as well give up. I mean really, sometimes, you rise to meet every challenge and get to the finish line and get struck by lightnin...
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missmeliss
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17
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556
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What are healthy friendships?
(Preview)
I don't know how to type this out, so I will be thinking as I type. I have a few friendships that maybe aren't really friendships. Maybe I am not being a good friend, maybe I don't know what a good friendship consists of, I don't know, but this is my struggle lately. I have one friend in particular that I s...
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PP
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24
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587
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Gold medal?! Oops, sorry. We meant bronze...
(Preview)
So, I am trying really hard not to beat myself up. I do it so well! I have been taking martial arts for 5 Years. Started in my 40's. Today I went to a tournament. Was my first one with this school. The young guy running our competition was clueless. He always had a slight look of confusion on his face. He was in...
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Newlife girl
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6
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411
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My own life - how far to take it?
(Preview)
So, after coming to a certain amount of acceptance about the way my relationship with my AH is, I started to wonder about some pretty specific things. Obviously, I want to live my life as much as possible, and I don't want to let his issues hold me back. One thing we were going to do together was learn to r...
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SpiderArcana
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6
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373
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New user name
(Preview)
Hi all, this is Ilovedogs. I decided to set up a new user name and connect it to my personal email, instead of the old one which was connected to my joint email that I share with AH. I have an update, too, and I'm feeling more and more like I'm being pulled to make a real drastic change. AH was traveling this...
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andromeda
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17
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688
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I know you feel guilty and no I'm not going to say its okay.
(Preview)
Now my AH is back into liquor again. Back into being belligerent again. Back into making stupid decisions '"because of the alcohol". He is having himself a pity party. He is soooo tired, poor me I haven't slept for 48 hours. (cause he drank all night and we had guests to entertain all day). an...
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sadsusie
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15
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594
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On Relationships
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1 2
)
(Preview)
On Relationships Your relationship with others does not depend on the other person. Your own altitude toward life in general determines how others see you. A positive attitude instills confidence of you in others. Refusing to put the other person on the defensive makes them feel safe around you....
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Jerry Froggie
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76
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1625
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How are taking someone else's agenda and venting and expectations alike?
(Preview)
It seems when I have vented about someone else (alcoholic son) it turned out to be taking someone elses agenda! Regardless if it was my son or not, it was another human being. Then when I really thought about it further I wouldn't have had that vent on my mind if I would have never expected anything with in...
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oldergal
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5
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504
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A very good day today :)
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I hope you're all doing well today. If you can indulge me for a moment, I'd like to share about my day. This morning, we had another planning meeting for the intervention..it is going well.
After which, I went food shopping and out to lunch with my AM. We both had a really really good time.....
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phoenixmagicgirl
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5
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257
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not begging anymore
(Preview)
I was just emailing my sponsor, and realized that for years, I think I begged my spouse to spend time with me. Her priorities were never our marriage, and it is with the help of alanon, that I am breaking my codependency on her. Not that I will be great at this anytime soon, but I know that I can, actually I...
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Lyne
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6
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250
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Persistence
(Preview)
This was the subject for discussion (in part) at my morning meeting and the crowd was into it so all I had to do was sit and listen. My now sponsor was there and my former sponsors also ...in spirit; thank you God. There was a 9 year anniversary and tomorrow an 18 monther, a young man who has followed the s...
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Jerry F
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8
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487
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the dolls house
(Preview)
Has anyone ever read this play by henrik ibsen? Its all about a woman who lived to please and entertain and make the people in her life happy. A crisis occurs and she sees the reality of her life and she leaves her family to go and find herself. It was banned in many countries when it came out in the early 19th...
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el-cee
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19
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429
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Visitation Vent ..
(Preview)
This weekend is suppose to be my STBAX's visitation .. isn't this sad .. he actually gets brownie points because he took them yesterday .. on a milestone note this is the first Saturday in almost a year he's had the kids. He's suppose to have them for almost 72 hours some of which is their choice and so...
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SerenityRUS
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17
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368
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Opinions (not sure this is a great subject title, ha! but its gotta have a title eh?0
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1 2
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(Preview)
Recent posts having sparked a few debates has me thinking about the phrase - you don't have to join every argument you are invited to. Theres this guy in my town who is very bible-thumping religious and thumps on a few things as being worse than any others (um, not my perception of The Word) and he loves to...
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likemyheart
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49
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997
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My sponsor called..
(Preview)
I am so grateful today my sponsor called. I know she didn't exactly tell me everything but that is okay. I am just happy she was having a good day.
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Truth
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2
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220
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In less than a month
(Preview)
I will be getting married. After such a rocky relationship history it is strange. I can easily see how you straight people have it so much harder in some ways because I totally would have married 2 of my past partners (one of them whom I designate as my ex-A), had I been legally able to do so at that time. ...
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pinkchip
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17
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500
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Holding on
(Preview)
Been a month since i moved out. I can feel myself recovering but I know there are still a lot of underlying "injuries" I substained through the years. They are just hidden away and I will need to deal with them to enjoy full recovery. I used to wear my wedding ring on my necklace to remind myse...
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sunshine23
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14
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471
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Don't stress me out...
(Preview)
Last night my husband came from work and he had a few drinks before coming home. He came into the bedroom to check if I was awake (I was) and then proceeded to ask questions about the fish tank...apparently the fish were acting weird. As I had made some changes to the fish tank set up - with his agreement - he...
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Luiza
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4
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326
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One Day At A Time - June 8
(Preview)
deleted due to copyright violation
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WorkingThroughIt
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0
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265
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Question
(Preview)
How does speaking my words, opinions and thoughts tie in with my recovery? Sincerely, og
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oldergal
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8
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398
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Express condolences ....
(Preview)
I don't know if I am allowed to do this but I want to ask for prayers for the families for the recent fallen police officers in Canada. I hope their families will find peace.
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Truth
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4
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287
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It never rains but..
(Preview)
Sigh. Don't even know where to begin with all of this. It might not make much sense. It might be too much about what the A is doing. It might sound like a lot of whinging. It'll certainly be long. But let me preface with, I feel OK. I know I can navigate my way through and I know HP has my back. One foot in front o...
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missmeliss
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7
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509
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Grateful it turned out okay.....
(Preview)
So I had a little bit of a scare last night. I had to phone the ambulance for my three year old. He had asthma as a baby. Well he ended up with croup. However because of the asthma he gets terrified he cannot breathe. He was screaming. Well of course I got a little emotional so good thing my safety training...
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Truth
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14
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549
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I love you is not enough...
(Preview)
My AH has been "trying" to get sober..."trying" to make things better...but wait...I'll quit next weekend. Meanwhile, my life is ticking by. I love him, but I don't like him. When he drinks I dispise being around him, and find his behavior completely belligerent and I refuse b...
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sadsusie
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10
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552
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In the still of the night
(Preview)
It's amazing when you come out of depression to realize how depressed I have been. I had no idea. I'm making a conscious effort to make the most of every day, choosing to be happy and focusing on just the kids and myself. It's working, and then nighttime comes, kids are asleep, AH falls asleep in couch usu...
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Kerrymom
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7
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354
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K I got a cute story....
(Preview)
I have been singing my son the song "Four Hugs a Day". So yesterday when I dropped him off a daycare. I went to go give him a hug good-bye and he said "no mommy I need four". 
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Truth
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4
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271
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Tradition One- conscience issue... new member to board...
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
There is no evidence so far that Jerry has used any copyrighted material... If it happens to be, then he should be given to option to delete them himself. it is not good Alanon to censor anyone, based simply on suspicion. Any member has the right of reply if there are any issues raised. Otherwise we mig...
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DavidG
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41
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927
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why it is sooo important to live in the RIGHT NOW
(Preview)
Wednesday's client whom i have been killing myself to clean up his books, teach his off. mgr. how to cover him b/c he is so irresponsible, well Wed. was a hay maker i never approved of him buying the office building he got b/c it isn't a good "cash cow" the debt he owes for the rent he is potentia...
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neshema2
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5
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302
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Manipulation
(Preview)
Is it just me or has this forum got a bit manic and chaotic? It could be me, Im fed up and wanted to hear some good stuff but I just cant get into it at all. Its like there are prickly undercurrents everywhere. Manipulative people with snide comments, hidden agendas everywhere I go. At work I have a 'friend'...
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el-cee
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18
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590
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I'd be lying if i said I wasn't a "Tad" worried
(Preview)
yep, my post on living in the right now is true blue....I am working the beejeebers out of the slogans mentioned and lots of self talk BUT today, yea, Friday is my "junk food" day and today was no exception....didn't make so much at today's job b/c it was slow...thank god the elder boss tipp...
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neshema2
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6
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601
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HP reveals deception when it is time...
(Preview)
I feel very disoriented in my thoughts but will take a few steps back and pray for clarity. Funny how you stumble on lies sometimes, in this case a five month lie of omission. My grandmother has this saying "an ugly thing will show its head." And all her wisdom of ninety years is right. The only...
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mm830
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9
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541
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