Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, my second attempt at the driving test is next week and the nerves are building again. So today, I took my daughter to get her ears pierced again (she wanted her nose pierced, as if, we settled for a second set of earings). On the way I admitted to her that i have always wanted to get my nose pierced but,...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

called my AH tonight trying to help him understand the seriousness of us possibly losing our house soon. He says he is too busy and needs to go to hardware store. He always runs to the store right before it closes...racing there like a maniac. my AH said he would have a job by the end of June. No job. He suppo...

andromeda · andromeda

So, ever since my RAH quit drinking a few weeks ago, I've noticed that his diet is crazy weird. He will not eat what I cook, which I'm not sure if this is a passive aggressive thing towards me or if he's just not hungry for it or whatever (he's an A so I honestly don't ask). He had mentioned that he was trying...

Sean_82 · Sean_82

Hi - I've an AW that has been in recovery now for 12 years and we've 2 kids. Over the years she's had bouts of depression that I've been drawn into but with the help of meetings I've been able to stay sane, however I only go to meetings at the darkest moments (I know I need to keep coming back). The last 6 months...

missmeliss · missmeliss

The A is just laying in his room like a baby. I am utterly detatched and he knows I am seeking housing that does not include him. He isn't even drinking, and when he does get alcohol he has a few drinks, gets fuzzy and turns off his light and goes to sleep, for a good 16-18 hours. Der, he's extremely depressed...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I came to this realization today when I told a close friend of mine that when she was suspicious today that her addict husband possibly" took something" yesterday....that she shouldn't be surprised because that's who he is! I told her I know my AH will drink again and when he does, it won't s...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I have spent a hour here thinking should I post or not. OK I'm posting I'm in a rut. I'm scared, worried and tired of my life. The bad part is I won't do anything about it. I work many hours then when I do get home I just lay down and go to sleep. All weekend all I did was lay on the bed and watch...

KiaOra · KiaOra

Hi all, My A and I got into an argument, and instead of talking it out he decided to go drink himself silly. That was last night. Today he has spent most of the day throwing up and sleeping on the bathroom floor, instead of taking his daughter out for her birthday like he had promised. His daughter and his mo...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

xeternalblossomx · xeternalblossomx

Ok, I am going to try and sum this up the quickest way I can. My mother has been with her alcoholic boyfreind for 20years. He is a monster. She goes to work, busts her hump and is the sole breadwinner. He does NOTHING, contributes NOTHING, and she allows him to control all of her finances! She forks her mone...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays odat was a good one and I thought I would share parts of it with you. An aa who counsels families 'Yes, the alcoholic can be forced to get sober' the wife then goes on to list all the things shes tried over the years, threats, ultimatum, control etc. The aa person says 'that is you applying the force a...

Sean_82 · Sean_82

My partner hasn't drunk for over 10 years but nothing changes, I still have to deal with the bouts of depression, manipulation, resentment etc etc the mood of the our family home (we've two young kids) is governed by how she feels. My current frustration is that maybe 6 months ago I was happy, positive a...

Hullibee · Hullibee

Well here I sit. Wondering where my alcoholic is drinking. He just texted and I didn't answer because I'm trying to stay detached. He texted again "F ....ing answer me. I replied and then asked the question "Where are you?" Of course I didn't really want to know. Now I do and I can't st...

killling_me_softly · killling_me_softly

Hello everybody. I'm new here and I'm not really sure where to start... My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He is a really great man. Good to my son (from a previously relationship) and to my whole entire family. The problem is, he is an alcoholic. He tries to find every reason and every exc...

MindyC · MindyC

First off I would like to say Hi. I am the mother of a 25 yr old alcohol and drug addict. Being a mother that has watched this child go thru so many health issues as a child ( he was diagnosed with Crohns at the age of 11) I have this mother bear gut instinct that makes me want to try and fix all his problems. I h...

glad · glad

My bf of a year who I am considering marrying soon had some mini strokes last week and was a patient in ICU. He has many adult children. One daughter announced her plan to bring her two teenage children from hundreds of miles away so that she could "take care of Daddy" which she has n...

AlAnonPhuket · AlAnonPhuket

Hi there, I am just trying to spread the word that finally an Al Anon group has started in Phuket, Thailand. Our helpline number is 0925909845, or you can email us at alanonphuket AT gmail DOT com if you would like to join us. We especially welcome visitors who are willing to share their experience, stre...

tortuga · tortuga

ok, i need a discussion here. As i stepped out of an unhealthy relationship with an A, i now am back for some time in my country and family of origin. And I feel different. Bored, alone, awake and constantly in the need to step away, because they drink, and with the drink comes stupid, selfish, cold behavi...

NL14 · NL14

Thank goodness it's Monday... I wonder if others with A partners feel this way: filled with relief that the weekend of togetherness and all that that entails is finally over and everyone's back to work and school on Monday. It's sad not to look forward to the weekend the way most people do, but I haven't...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Well, I went and put my foot into it, good and proper like. I was doing well, trying to do my own thing, take care of my own needs, all that jazz. I had been ignoring that he'd been drinking again, not my problem. I knew he was upset about something, but whatever. I just can't seem to leave things alone. ...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

My husband has been an addict for 10+ years and our daughters and I have been through hell during that time. In April, he finally admitted himself into an inpatient program. Throughout that time I was enjoying the peace and serenity at home, and realized that I could never, ever sacrifice that again...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

For the past several years as AH drank more and more and the hatred and distance grew I dreamed of being done with it all, now that I know it isn't all personal and he's sick and he has been trying to control his drinking it's so much harder to make the break. I feel like a yo-yo, one day/hour I am done and want...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

So, my husband has been an addict for 10+ years, and throughout that time I have never shared this with my family. His family is knows and provides him their support, but mine are in the dark. We separated when he went to treatment (which is how he hit bottom and ended up going), and now we seem to be livi...

Luiza · Luiza

I can't believe I would be writing this here, but here I am. I am ashamed, but I feel I need to share. So, Saturday night, H was asleep, I was with daughter watching TV and decided to drink one can of beer (440ml). I drank very quickly, daughter went to sleep and I decided to get a second one. Finished the sec...

watts · watts

So, I'm still going through the motions...packing near completion...goodbyes being said...two days of tears...heart breaking... Friday I set up time for my son to meet up with his half sister (AHs daughter from previous marriage)...they spent the afternoon together having fun then at the end of...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I stood up for myself at work yesterday and now I'm second guessing myself. Where I work I do the payroll, budgeting, bill paying and scheduling and for a law enforcement facility. I'm supposed to get help from the two other clerical ople at work - but they refuse. So therefore over the years I have l...

Lost Bird · Lost Bird

Hi, I am new to this forum, but not to the program as I am certain my family has had a connection to AA since 1935. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family of perfection. No one outside of the family knows there is an issue and those on the inside are not allowed to discuss or challenge it. As a result, I gr...

el-cee · el-cee

My sons new girlfriend has got a new house and he is moving in, they are like a family. She hasnt got much support from her own family but my family, wow, everyone is chipping in and helping out in all kinds of ways. Ive begun to question mine and my familys motives. Have we all jumped in to help through our ow...

kranjo · kranjo

My husband and I have been married for 7 years. He's always been a drinker, but I've never really seen him act drunk. I also remember being engaged to him and having taken a look in his medicine cabinet and thinking, wow. That's a lot of drugs. (He has back, neck, and knee pain, anxiety, depression, sleep...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

My AM asked me to get something for her & bring it upstairs..I got annoyed b/c I'm tired of enabeling her. But I feel like I can't tell her that b/c she will think it's about her drinking.. does that make sense or am I making something out of nothing? Was I wrong to get upset? Thank you for listening.

luv123 · luv123

Hi ala-friends, Gonna be 50 this week--do u remember how that felt for you or were u going through too much other bigger disease stuff at that time--do these milestone birthdays always feel tough for you ( I know many of u have also seen 60 & 70 & 80 or higher)? --I am feeling emotional; I could u...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My last atty (not the one who had the stroke my female atty) and I had a conversation about what I need to know and when, why it comes to me and that I explained it's just a God thing. I remember her looking at me and telling me S .. if it were anyone except you .. I would think they were off their rocker. I have...

Katy · Katy

So many thoughts, Letting go? Opening my mind to being taught new ways to live a better life, changing my thinking of how and why I stayed so long in something that was killing me, would it still be too smug of me to think the union of both myself and my husband was a wake up call to teach us both a hard lesson in...

Flower49 · Flower49

This morning when I woke up and began my prayers an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness came over me. I felt so grateful to have finally come to understand the need for space between my AH and myself, I was so thankful and happy for all that I have and the abilities I have that allow me to do my job, do my rec...

Luiza · Luiza

Before I discovered this amazing program, I had already committed to go to a Wedding of a special friend and a Vacation with H's family. It is all happening in August so we have few weeks to go. So I am now thinking about it more and more. H asked me the the other day to tex him the exactly days of the vacation s...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

AH and I have been separated for 2 months. whenever he sounded crazy, I would track his whereabouts to make sure he is not coming to my place. Since I have put my boundary in place (not replying to nasty text, not answering calls at unreasonable times and changing my lock) I felt safe enough to let go and no...

Flower49 · Flower49

I am so confused. I still have not been able to speak or see my husband now for 7 weeks while he is at the 1/2 way house. I was calling on Monday's asking the man in charge if the restrictions have been lifted and that he had told me it was 30 days and that was quite sometime ago. He said to me last Monday, it's not...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I have lost my serenity in the last month. And i am very unhappy snappy and mad. Doing the self talk not paying attention to whats going on around me not finding any joy in being alive and happy. my dry ah is acting squirrelly again and i am getting angry. Not alanon i know but he pushes my buttons. I told hi...

PP · PP

Thankfully I have resources to help me get through rough times. These most recent days have been rough. I don't feel well, my elderly parents are both having some rough times, and our home has been overtaken by a loving, yet large dog I have nicknamed T-Rex, as his head moves about in an awkwardly ma...

watts · watts

I've been posting here lately because it helps - Groundhog day and Hi again - so now I need to know that I'm doing the right thing....my heart is breaking but I keep going through the motions...Monday is my target date for leaving. Thoughts running through my head go crazy, so I have to keep telling myse...

Rusty Angel · Rusty Angel

Feeling a lot of guilt for leaving my alcoholic 9 months ago......because he is very ill and in declining health. I couldn't stand the emptiness of our relationship any longer.....was crying all the time, felt like the cleaning lady in the spare room down the hall. I was ready to leave a few years a...

tortuga · tortuga

the day has come when I had to move away, out of the country I used to live for 4 years. Job ended and so did my motivation to stay close to ex-abusive-A. I felt very unsure about this moment, very scared, and very sad. So much has happened. And I used to love this place. But now I start thinking, this moving aw...

Katy · Katy

He threw the photo's of our holiday at me and said there deny that, so I looked at him and said, thankyou I will take these to the doctors with me when I go in a bit and ask for help because I am cracking up with this insanity, he said you do that, he was asking me questions, well really talking at me not too me, an...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

While I am very thankful that I found this discussion board, there is nothing like face to face al-anon meetings with people who are struggling or who have struggled with the same pain that I feel. We are reading from Courage to Change, and I cannot believe how so much of this book seems to have been writt...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I go back home tomorrow after 2 weeks of off and on tennis trips with my son. It will be time to get back to reality when I get home and I'm not happy about it. AH has been working his program, he's been pleasant to talk to, but I just don't care anymore. I am so ready to move on with my life, put my son's sched...

Volleyball66 · Volleyball66

Hey, my dad is a raging alcoholic. He has been ever since my mom left. I put up with it until I got into middle school. Our fights started getting really bad, so I was hardly ever home. When I was in 8th grade I remember my dad getting the stomach flu. Around 4 in the morning he started throwing up blood. He did...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

The front of MY house which my AH lives in by himself because I moved out in March looks like an episode of "hoarders". I can't take it anymore. Should I call the city and report him anonymously? My name is still on the house but I don't think it would affect me because all the broken down stuff is...

Katy · Katy

My best friend has offered me a place to stay, I love her to bits, she has been divorced three years and lives alone, we get on amazingly well and have been very supportive of one another throughout our friendship, our interests are the same and I admire and respect her. My concerns are, I am not gay, peopl...

Luiza · Luiza

Hi. I have being learning a lot over here however, I am not being able to attend any f2f meetings (work, studies, child) and can not do online ones either as I am not in the USA and I need to sleep! I have "one day at a time" and "courage to change" books but haven't started reading it...

slowlearner · slowlearner

Alcoholism has been a factor my entire life, my childhood and then my marriage. What books are good to read to learn from. Any ideas would be great. I have some of the basics.

blessed · blessed

Interesting week. As we prepare for a little time away at the beach, I assumed the A would not go; as he hasn't vacationed w/ us in 2 years. But, a few times this week he has asked about things we might do while there (via email as he doesn't talk to me). I always go answer him in person and I don't like this elec...

NL14 · NL14

I just wanted to share the amazing experience I had yesterday with all of you. From the moment I woke up, I felt tense. There was no particular reason for this feeling, but there it was. I headed out for a run; when I got back, AH was leaving for work. His mood seemed fine, he sent me a funny email shortly aft...

blessed · blessed

I love how AlAnon helps in all areas of our life; not just the life w/ the A. I am an office manager and a diet coach at a doctor's office. Wednesdays are dedicated to supporting our dieters who come in for their weekly weigh-in, meaurements and encouragement. A new dieter this week asked, "What if i...

slowlearner · slowlearner

Yesterday a friend passed away from alcoholism. He drank himself straight into the grave. Such a sad story, lost a wonderful wife. He had four wonderful children and many grandchildren but just couldn't kick the bottle. He was a friend many years ago but still lived in my town and his children gr...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Latest text not from my sponsor and from my Al-Anon working spouse. I need to hear that often either from my sponsor, HP, MIP, wife and whomever cause that is one of my old self protective characteristic out of being born and raised in alcoholism. I was an isolator so that I could escape the confront...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Having a hard time with my teenage girls. They are both leaving for college in August. I will have only my youngest at home with me. I am having a lot of anxiety about it. The older ones and I are not getting along very well. Especially the oldest. She is used to living on her own most of the year, she is going...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I've been having dreams about my workplace and new job when I go to sleep at night. I've been on vacation and enjoying myself but somehow it's been haunting me. I don't know what I'm going back to. I start the job tomorrow. This isn't just new job jitters. Everything has been left up in the air concerning...

Gaby · Gaby

Well I leave it all in gods hands.. N I will pray for peace n strength.. I have NO CONTROL OF HIM !! God bless ...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I sure have a lot of practice to do. I am still reacting. overreacting. defending, justifying. Mostly internally though. Thank goodness. I moved out about 3 weeks ago. The last few days I have had little or no contact with AH. He has his ups and downs and the last few days I could tell he was down. (more liq...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, for better or worse, I'm doing the course, a dual certificate in mental health and drug and alcohol counselling. Half of it is in a classroom and the other half is job placement working in different facilities. I guess the hope is that you get along well in one of the places you work and they give you...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Thank-you Kenny Fenderjazz!! (Preview) Well, my second attempt at the driving test is next week and the nerves are building again. So today, I took my daughter to get her ears pierced again (she wanted her nose pierced, as if, we settled for a second set of earings). On the way I admitted to her that i have always wanted to get my nose pierced but,...	missmeliss	22	684	Jul 16, 2014 by PP
	Running around like a chicken with his head cut off (Preview) called my AH tonight trying to help him understand the seriousness of us possibly losing our house soon. He says he is too busy and needs to go to hardware store. He always runs to the store right before it closes...racing there like a maniac. my AH said he would have a job by the end of June. No job. He suppo...	Newlife girl	4	524	Jul 16, 2014 by Newlife girl
	My RAH put himself on a weird diet and other sobriety questions (Preview) So, ever since my RAH quit drinking a few weeks ago, I've noticed that his diet is crazy weird. He will not eat what I cook, which I'm not sure if this is a passive aggressive thing towards me or if he's just not hungry for it or whatever (he's an A so I honestly don't ask). He had mentioned that he was trying...	andromeda	12	699	Jul 16, 2014 by andromeda
	To stay or to go? (Preview) Hi - I've an AW that has been in recovery now for 12 years and we've 2 kids. Over the years she's had bouts of depression that I've been drawn into but with the help of meetings I've been able to stay sane, however I only go to meetings at the darkest moments (I know I need to keep coming back). The last 6 months...	Sean_82	9	601	Jul 16, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	like a baby.. (Preview) The A is just laying in his room like a baby. I am utterly detatched and he knows I am seeking housing that does not include him. He isn't even drinking, and when he does get alcohol he has a few drinks, gets fuzzy and turns off his light and goes to sleep, for a good 16-18 hours. Der, he's extremely depressed...	missmeliss	17	796	Jul 15, 2014 by Talllady
	What the A does or does not do should not surprise us! (Preview) I came to this realization today when I told a close friend of mine that when she was suspicious today that her addict husband possibly" took something" yesterday....that she shouldn't be surprised because that's who he is! I told her I know my AH will drink again and when he does, it won't s...	Newlife girl	17	624	Jul 15, 2014 by blessed
	One Hour (Preview) Hi Everyone I have spent a hour here thinking should I post or not. OK I'm posting I'm in a rut. I'm scared, worried and tired of my life. The bad part is I won't do anything about it. I work many hours then when I do get home I just lay down and go to sleep. All weekend all I did was lay on the bed and watch...	Cathyinaz	10	967	Jul 15, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Question about detox (Preview) Hi all, My A and I got into an argument, and instead of talking it out he decided to go drink himself silly. That was last night. Today he has spent most of the day throwing up and sleeping on the bathroom floor, instead of taking his daughter out for her birthday like he had promised. His daughter and his mo...	KiaOra	10	890	Jul 15, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	We are finally going to get some rain. (Preview)	Cathyinaz	10	680	Jul 15, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Help me! Why won't my Mom leave him???!!!! (Preview) Ok, I am going to try and sum this up the quickest way I can. My mother has been with her alcoholic boyfreind for 20years. He is a monster. She goes to work, busts her hump and is the sole breadwinner. He does NOTHING, contributes NOTHING, and she allows him to control all of her finances! She forks her mone...	xeternalblossomx	3	555	Jul 15, 2014 by hotrod
	the alcoholic CAN be forced to get sober (Preview) Todays odat was a good one and I thought I would share parts of it with you. An aa who counsels families 'Yes, the alcoholic can be forced to get sober' the wife then goes on to list all the things shes tried over the years, threats, ultimatum, control etc. The aa person says 'that is you applying the force a...	el-cee	14	694	Jul 15, 2014 by PP
	Just so tired.. had enough of this (Preview) My partner hasn't drunk for over 10 years but nothing changes, I still have to deal with the bouts of depression, manipulation, resentment etc etc the mood of the our family home (we've two young kids) is governed by how she feels. My current frustration is that maybe 6 months ago I was happy, positive a...	Sean_82	14	862	Jul 15, 2014 by andromeda
	Feeling Useless (Preview) Well here I sit. Wondering where my alcoholic is drinking. He just texted and I didn't answer because I'm trying to stay detached. He texted again "F ....ing answer me. I replied and then asked the question "Where are you?" Of course I didn't really want to know. Now I do and I can't st...	Hullibee	8	441	Jul 15, 2014 by Hullibee
	Drunk in Love... (Preview) Hello everybody. I'm new here and I'm not really sure where to start... My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He is a really great man. Good to my son (from a previously relationship) and to my whole entire family. The problem is, he is an alcoholic. He tries to find every reason and every exc...	killling_me_softly	7	571	Jul 15, 2014 by glad
	New and finally reaching out (Preview) First off I would like to say Hi. I am the mother of a 25 yr old alcohol and drug addict. Being a mother that has watched this child go thru so many health issues as a child ( he was diagnosed with Crohns at the age of 11) I have this mother bear gut instinct that makes me want to try and fix all his problems. I h...	MindyC	11	717	Jul 15, 2014 by intoit
	Obviousy I still need support/ help! (Preview) My bf of a year who I am considering marrying soon had some mini strokes last week and was a patient in ICU. He has many adult children. One daughter announced her plan to bring her two teenage children from hundreds of miles away so that she could "take care of Daddy" which she has n...	glad	8	479	Jul 15, 2014 by el-cee
	New Meetings in Phuket, Thailand Phuket Thailand Chalong SE Asia Pattong meetings Al Anon (Preview) Hi there, I am just trying to spread the word that finally an Al Anon group has started in Phuket, Thailand. Our helpline number is 0925909845, or you can email us at alanonphuket AT gmail DOT com if you would like to join us. We especially welcome visitors who are willing to share their experience, stre...	AlAnonPhuket	2	10386	Jul 15, 2014 by AlAnonPhuket
	alcohol in the family…evolution. (Preview) ok, i need a discussion here. As i stepped out of an unhealthy relationship with an A, i now am back for some time in my country and family of origin. And I feel different. Bored, alone, awake and constantly in the need to step away, because they drink, and with the drink comes stupid, selfish, cold behavi...	tortuga	9	570	Jul 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	TGIM (Preview) Thank goodness it's Monday... I wonder if others with A partners feel this way: filled with relief that the weekend of togetherness and all that that entails is finally over and everyone's back to work and school on Monday. It's sad not to look forward to the weekend the way most people do, but I haven't...	NL14	4	636	Jul 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	Making a mess of things (Preview) Well, I went and put my foot into it, good and proper like. I was doing well, trying to do my own thing, take care of my own needs, all that jazz. I had been ignoring that he'd been drinking again, not my problem. I knew he was upset about something, but whatever. I just can't seem to leave things alone. ...	SpiderArcana	15	552	Jul 14, 2014 by blessed
	Husband's AA friend is female-----boundaries are broken (Preview) My husband has been an addict for 10+ years and our daughters and I have been through hell during that time. In April, he finally admitted himself into an inpatient program. Throughout that time I was enjoying the peace and serenity at home, and realized that I could never, ever sacrifice that again...	sunrise2014	16	1573	Jul 14, 2014 by pinkchip
	Didn't foresee this outcome (Preview) For the past several years as AH drank more and more and the hatred and distance grew I dreamed of being done with it all, now that I know it isn't all personal and he's sick and he has been trying to control his drinking it's so much harder to make the break. I feel like a yo-yo, one day/hour I am done and want...	Kerrymom	6	541	Jul 14, 2014 by Kerrymom
	Do I tell my family? (Preview) So, my husband has been an addict for 10+ years, and throughout that time I have never shared this with my family. His family is knows and provides him their support, but mine are in the dark. We separated when he went to treatment (which is how he hit bottom and ended up going), and now we seem to be livi...	sunrise2014	4	464	Jul 14, 2014 by hotrod
	Reversed roles and a slap in the face. (Preview) I can't believe I would be writing this here, but here I am. I am ashamed, but I feel I need to share. So, Saturday night, H was asleep, I was with daughter watching TV and decided to drink one can of beer (440ml). I drank very quickly, daughter went to sleep and I decided to get a second one. Finished the sec...	Luiza	19	1000	Jul 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	Two days of tears (Preview) So, I'm still going through the motions...packing near completion...goodbyes being said...two days of tears...heart breaking... Friday I set up time for my son to meet up with his half sister (AHs daughter from previous marriage)...they spent the afternoon together having fun then at the end of...	watts	8	466	Jul 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Stood up for myself and now I'm second guessing it! (Preview) I stood up for myself at work yesterday and now I'm second guessing myself. Where I work I do the payroll, budgeting, bill paying and scheduling and for a law enforcement facility. I'm supposed to get help from the two other clerical ople at work - but they refuse. So therefore over the years I have l...	slowlearner	8	703	Jul 13, 2014 by Kelly123
	Parental Alienation & Family Shunning (Preview) Hi, I am new to this forum, but not to the program as I am certain my family has had a connection to AA since 1935. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family of perfection. No one outside of the family knows there is an issue and those on the inside are not allowed to discuss or challenge it. As a result, I gr...	Lost Bird	7	692	Jul 13, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	motives (Preview) My sons new girlfriend has got a new house and he is moving in, they are like a family. She hasnt got much support from her own family but my family, wow, everyone is chipping in and helping out in all kinds of ways. Ive begun to question mine and my familys motives. Have we all jumped in to help through our ow...	el-cee	7	891	Jul 13, 2014 by PP
	Confused and in need of advice (Preview) My husband and I have been married for 7 years. He's always been a drinker, but I've never really seen him act drunk. I also remember being engaged to him and having taken a look in his medicine cabinet and thinking, wow. That's a lot of drugs. (He has back, neck, and knee pain, anxiety, depression, sleep...	kranjo	13	825	Jul 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	Was I wrong? (Preview) My AM asked me to get something for her & bring it upstairs..I got annoyed b/c I'm tired of enabeling her. But I feel like I can't tell her that b/c she will think it's about her drinking.. does that make sense or am I making something out of nothing? Was I wrong to get upset? Thank you for listening.	phoenixmagicgirl	6	505	Jul 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	On Turning 50 or higher/ using program tools (Preview) Hi ala-friends, Gonna be 50 this week--do u remember how that felt for you or were u going through too much other bigger disease stuff at that time--do these milestone birthdays always feel tough for you ( I know many of u have also seen 60 & 70 & 80 or higher)? --I am feeling emotional; I could u...	luv123	18	747	Jul 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	Information magnet .. LOL (Preview) My last atty (not the one who had the stroke my female atty) and I had a conversation about what I need to know and when, why it comes to me and that I explained it's just a God thing. I remember her looking at me and telling me S .. if it were anyone except you .. I would think they were off their rocker. I have...	SerenityRUS	4	567	Jul 12, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	what to call this next thread? (Preview) So many thoughts, Letting go? Opening my mind to being taught new ways to live a better life, changing my thinking of how and why I stayed so long in something that was killing me, would it still be too smug of me to think the union of both myself and my husband was a wake up call to teach us both a hard lesson in...	Katy	8	734	Jul 12, 2014 by Debilyn
	Grateful (Preview) This morning when I woke up and began my prayers an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness came over me. I felt so grateful to have finally come to understand the need for space between my AH and myself, I was so thankful and happy for all that I have and the abilities I have that allow me to do my job, do my rec...	Flower49	6	344	Jul 12, 2014 by MindyC
	Getting slightly anxious now. We need to go to a wedding and vacation... (Preview) Before I discovered this amazing program, I had already committed to go to a Wedding of a special friend and a Vacation with H's family. It is all happening in August so we have few weeks to go. So I am now thinking about it more and more. H asked me the the other day to tex him the exactly days of the vacation s...	Luiza	5	711	Jul 12, 2014 by Luiza
	I am so sad (Preview) AH and I have been separated for 2 months. whenever he sounded crazy, I would track his whereabouts to make sure he is not coming to my place. Since I have put my boundary in place (not replying to nasty text, not answering calls at unreasonable times and changing my lock) I felt safe enough to let go and no...	sunshine23	10	681	Jul 12, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Still no communication (Preview) I am so confused. I still have not been able to speak or see my husband now for 7 weeks while he is at the 1/2 way house. I was calling on Monday's asking the man in charge if the restrictions have been lifted and that he had told me it was 30 days and that was quite sometime ago. He said to me last Monday, it's not...	Flower49	27	1650	Jul 12, 2014 by Flower49
	Lost serenity (Preview) I have lost my serenity in the last month. And i am very unhappy snappy and mad. Doing the self talk not paying attention to whats going on around me not finding any joy in being alive and happy. my dry ah is acting squirrelly again and i am getting angry. Not alanon i know but he pushes my buttons. I told hi...	Mirandac	9	557	Jul 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Rough times and gratitude (Preview) Thankfully I have resources to help me get through rough times. These most recent days have been rough. I don't feel well, my elderly parents are both having some rough times, and our home has been overtaken by a loving, yet large dog I have nicknamed T-Rex, as his head moves about in an awkwardly ma...	PP	21	755	Jul 12, 2014 by PP
	Doing the right thing? (Preview) I've been posting here lately because it helps - Groundhog day and Hi again - so now I need to know that I'm doing the right thing....my heart is breaking but I keep going through the motions...Monday is my target date for leaving. Thoughts running through my head go crazy, so I have to keep telling myse...	watts	10	627	Jul 11, 2014 by Jerry F
	Guilt (Preview) Feeling a lot of guilt for leaving my alcoholic 9 months ago......because he is very ill and in declining health. I couldn't stand the emptiness of our relationship any longer.....was crying all the time, felt like the cleaning lady in the spare room down the hall. I was ready to leave a few years a...	Rusty Angel	8	564	Jul 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	i finally moved away... (Preview) the day has come when I had to move away, out of the country I used to live for 4 years. Job ended and so did my motivation to stay close to ex-abusive-A. I felt very unsure about this moment, very scared, and very sad. So much has happened. And I used to love this place. But now I start thinking, this moving aw...	tortuga	10	624	Jul 11, 2014 by tortuga
	Well I left him! (Preview) He threw the photo's of our holiday at me and said there deny that, so I looked at him and said, thankyou I will take these to the doctors with me when I go in a bit and ask for help because I am cracking up with this insanity, he said you do that, he was asking me questions, well really talking at me not too me, an...	Katy	11	739	Jul 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	face2face (Preview) While I am very thankful that I found this discussion board, there is nothing like face to face al-anon meetings with people who are struggling or who have struggled with the same pain that I feel. We are reading from Courage to Change, and I cannot believe how so much of this book seems to have been writt...	cloudyskies	5	466	Jul 11, 2014 by blessed
	Wish me luck (Preview) I go back home tomorrow after 2 weeks of off and on tennis trips with my son. It will be time to get back to reality when I get home and I'm not happy about it. AH has been working his program, he's been pleasant to talk to, but I just don't care anymore. I am so ready to move on with my life, put my son's sched...	ilovedogs	10	618	Jul 11, 2014 by ilovedogs
	My story.... (Preview) Hey, my dad is a raging alcoholic. He has been ever since my mom left. I put up with it until I got into middle school. Our fights started getting really bad, so I was hardly ever home. When I was in 8th grade I remember my dad getting the stomach flu. Around 4 in the morning he started throwing up blood. He did...	Volleyball66	11	649	Jul 11, 2014 by Rusty Angel
	Would you do this?? (Preview) The front of MY house which my AH lives in by himself because I moved out in March looks like an episode of "hoarders". I can't take it anymore. Should I call the city and report him anonymously? My name is still on the house but I don't think it would affect me because all the broken down stuff is...	Newlife girl	6	623	Jul 11, 2014 by Mattie
	your thoughts please (Preview) My best friend has offered me a place to stay, I love her to bits, she has been divorced three years and lives alone, we get on amazingly well and have been very supportive of one another throughout our friendship, our interests are the same and I admire and respect her. My concerns are, I am not gay, peopl...	Katy	7	542	Jul 11, 2014 by el-cee
	Not able to attend meetings...what do I do? Stuck.. (Preview) Hi. I have being learning a lot over here however, I am not being able to attend any f2f meetings (work, studies, child) and can not do online ones either as I am not in the USA and I need to sleep! I have "one day at a time" and "courage to change" books but haven't started reading it...	Luiza	6	589	Jul 11, 2014 by el-cee
	What books should be read? (Preview) Alcoholism has been a factor my entire life, my childhood and then my marriage. What books are good to read to learn from. Any ideas would be great. I have some of the basics.	slowlearner	4	1929	Jul 11, 2014 by el-cee
	Vacation (Preview) Interesting week. As we prepare for a little time away at the beach, I assumed the A would not go; as he hasn't vacationed w/ us in 2 years. But, a few times this week he has asked about things we might do while there (via email as he doesn't talk to me). I always go answer him in person and I don't like this elec...	blessed	16	629	Jul 10, 2014 by blessed
	Wow, it's working! (Preview) I just wanted to share the amazing experience I had yesterday with all of you. From the moment I woke up, I felt tense. There was no particular reason for this feeling, but there it was. I headed out for a run; when I got back, AH was leaving for work. His mood seemed fine, he sent me a funny email shortly aft...	NL14	15	643	Jul 10, 2014 by Jen61
	Beyond the A (Preview) I love how AlAnon helps in all areas of our life; not just the life w/ the A. I am an office manager and a diet coach at a doctor's office. Wednesdays are dedicated to supporting our dieters who come in for their weekly weigh-in, meaurements and encouragement. A new dieter this week asked, "What if i...	blessed	3	549	Jul 10, 2014 by Luiza
	Old and Bad memories came up. (Preview) Yesterday a friend passed away from alcoholism. He drank himself straight into the grave. Such a sad story, lost a wonderful wife. He had four wonderful children and many grandchildren but just couldn't kick the bottle. He was a friend many years ago but still lived in my town and his children gr...	slowlearner	5	442	Jul 10, 2014 by pinkchip
	Let go it's a waste of energy... (Preview) Latest text not from my sponsor and from my Al-Anon working spouse. I need to hear that often either from my sponsor, HP, MIP, wife and whomever cause that is one of my old self protective characteristic out of being born and raised in alcoholism. I was an isolator so that I could escape the confront...	Jerry F	12	718	Jul 10, 2014 by Jerry F
	Teenagers are really difficult..right?? or is it just me?? Help!! (Preview) Having a hard time with my teenage girls. They are both leaving for college in August. I will have only my youngest at home with me. I am having a lot of anxiety about it. The older ones and I are not getting along very well. Especially the oldest. She is used to living on her own most of the year, she is going...	Newlife girl	12	545	Jul 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	I Don't Want to Go Back (Preview) I've been having dreams about my workplace and new job when I go to sleep at night. I've been on vacation and enjoying myself but somehow it's been haunting me. I don't know what I'm going back to. I start the job tomorrow. This isn't just new job jitters. Everything has been left up in the air concerning...	tiredtonite	15	617	Jul 10, 2014 by PP
	Son got sentenced !!! (Preview) Well I leave it all in gods hands.. N I will pray for peace n strength.. I have NO CONTROL OF HIM !! God bless ...	Gaby	6	451	Jul 10, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	I am sitting here alone, and I still feel like I need to justify myself. (Preview) I sure have a lot of practice to do. I am still reacting. overreacting. defending, justifying. Mostly internally though. Thank goodness. I moved out about 3 weeks ago. The last few days I have had little or no contact with AH. He has his ups and downs and the last few days I could tell he was down. (more liq...	sadsusie	13	740	Jul 10, 2014 by watts
	A general yay. (Preview) Well, for better or worse, I'm doing the course, a dual certificate in mental health and drug and alcohol counselling. Half of it is in a classroom and the other half is job placement working in different facilities. I guess the hope is that you get along well in one of the places you work and they give you...	missmeliss	19	656	Jul 10, 2014 by milkwood
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.