Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sunshine23 · sunshine23

Although I have only attended a few f2f meetings and reading the posts from this site for 3 months, I have picked up skills to deal with non - A people too! I have been working 14-16 hours a day for the last 3 weeks. There were deadlines and analysis was needed like 2 weeks ago. I was asked to take up this proj...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Just want to share this before I go to sleep. I was thinking about alcoholism, and the battles we go through being friends,family, and partners of addicts. We lose the battle in our minds first before we lose it to something or someone else first. If we have made up our mind about something, then no matte...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and it didn't seem that anyone missed him or cared. We had a Yogurt Birthday party for my 10year old grandson (freaking delicious!!). My daughter and son-in-law were paying and I've been practicing liking freebies so I went...Wife was feeling spine sore so Its up to me right?? lol We all had fun c...

Talllady · Talllady

Hello everyone: I have been in a relationship with a man for what will be 4 years, TODAY... But, as usual with him lately, he stood me up last night as we had a date planned to go on after his "supposed meeting". He has been using for as long as I know, and even lots that i don't know of. He is hooke...

Luiza · Luiza

So yesterday H came home after a late shift...of course he had a few drinks. I was in the bedroom meditating, and he came in. Got ready to sleep and started asking questions AGAIN. - Are you ok? Are you sure? Do you want to tell me anything? Is there anything you want to talk about? Are you upset? Have a done s...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I was ok really, happy, enjoying things, then these things happened: My tenants shorted me money with out asking, money I needed for my last week before I get paid. (only get money once a month) left me stuck at home when I needed seriously to get to town. I texted my son as I really needed help. He never tex...

Debilyn · Debilyn

)c:< Today I decided to stop this behavior of hoping someone would call me. Stop waiting for my son to get back to me. I invited a supposed friend, on her terms it seems, to come out the end of this month. I wanted to decorate and make a yummy meal or go out. she writes back i migh...

Flower49 · Flower49

At our meeting tonight no came to chair the meeting. I didn't know what to do, so I went ahead and started with all the usual al-anon speak, we chose step 1 as our topic and then I closed with the usual al-anon closing and prayer. I hope this was ok to do, I needed a meeting and the others did too. Not sure what t...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I broke down a wall today that I had been hiding behind for such a long time. I finally told my mom just how bad my husbands drinking has gotten. For so many years I did not want to admit this to anyone. Somehow I have felt that I carried part of the blame for this. I know now (through Al-Anon) that I'm not to b...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I watched the tribute video to Derek Jeter and the newscasts in the All Stars game. Our families lived in the same complex where I moved from my home state with my children who were both 8 and 6 at the time. Derek and my son are the same age. They played ball in the back yard. Both my kids and Derek played...

el-cee · el-cee

Part of my dis-ease was the constant what ifs. The future terrified me before alanon. I couldnt live life or enjoy life as it happened, I was too busy worrying about tomorrow to take any notice of today. Just for today is becoming clearer to me. Its important to my happiness and positive thinking becau...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I'm in a really bad place. My AH came home yesterday after being on a binge. He then proceeded to finally talk to me. He says he doesn't understand why he is choosing to drink. He says he thinks his life is boring without it. What a remark! I like boring. It means we can go on without the ups and downs of...

Katy · Katy

Keep my mouth shut in my relationship, because there were too many issues and behaviours that affected me, being part of a couple that made a pact to love one another in sickness and in health well I tried very hard too, I just missed the part where mutual was mentioned and there was very little of that. So...

blessed · blessed

I will not reply to an email that came from someone that is sitting 6 feet away from me in a hotel room, asking where we should go to dinner. DO NOT REPLY DELETE For awhile I had him blocked, and his messages immediately went to trash. I guess I should set that up again. My AH won't talk to me but will send me tex...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, my second attempt at the driving test is next week and the nerves are building again. So today, I took my daughter to get her ears pierced again (she wanted her nose pierced, as if, we settled for a second set of earings). On the way I admitted to her that i have always wanted to get my nose pierced but,...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

called my AH tonight trying to help him understand the seriousness of us possibly losing our house soon. He says he is too busy and needs to go to hardware store. He always runs to the store right before it closes...racing there like a maniac. my AH said he would have a job by the end of June. No job. He suppo...

andromeda · andromeda

So, ever since my RAH quit drinking a few weeks ago, I've noticed that his diet is crazy weird. He will not eat what I cook, which I'm not sure if this is a passive aggressive thing towards me or if he's just not hungry for it or whatever (he's an A so I honestly don't ask). He had mentioned that he was trying...

Sean_82 · Sean_82

Hi - I've an AW that has been in recovery now for 12 years and we've 2 kids. Over the years she's had bouts of depression that I've been drawn into but with the help of meetings I've been able to stay sane, however I only go to meetings at the darkest moments (I know I need to keep coming back). The last 6 months...

missmeliss · missmeliss

The A is just laying in his room like a baby. I am utterly detatched and he knows I am seeking housing that does not include him. He isn't even drinking, and when he does get alcohol he has a few drinks, gets fuzzy and turns off his light and goes to sleep, for a good 16-18 hours. Der, he's extremely depressed...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I came to this realization today when I told a close friend of mine that when she was suspicious today that her addict husband possibly" took something" yesterday....that she shouldn't be surprised because that's who he is! I told her I know my AH will drink again and when he does, it won't s...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I have spent a hour here thinking should I post or not. OK I'm posting I'm in a rut. I'm scared, worried and tired of my life. The bad part is I won't do anything about it. I work many hours then when I do get home I just lay down and go to sleep. All weekend all I did was lay on the bed and watch...

KiaOra · KiaOra

Hi all, My A and I got into an argument, and instead of talking it out he decided to go drink himself silly. That was last night. Today he has spent most of the day throwing up and sleeping on the bathroom floor, instead of taking his daughter out for her birthday like he had promised. His daughter and his mo...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

xeternalblossomx · xeternalblossomx

Ok, I am going to try and sum this up the quickest way I can. My mother has been with her alcoholic boyfreind for 20years. He is a monster. She goes to work, busts her hump and is the sole breadwinner. He does NOTHING, contributes NOTHING, and she allows him to control all of her finances! She forks her mone...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays odat was a good one and I thought I would share parts of it with you. An aa who counsels families 'Yes, the alcoholic can be forced to get sober' the wife then goes on to list all the things shes tried over the years, threats, ultimatum, control etc. The aa person says 'that is you applying the force a...

Sean_82 · Sean_82

My partner hasn't drunk for over 10 years but nothing changes, I still have to deal with the bouts of depression, manipulation, resentment etc etc the mood of the our family home (we've two young kids) is governed by how she feels. My current frustration is that maybe 6 months ago I was happy, positive a...

Hullibee · Hullibee

Well here I sit. Wondering where my alcoholic is drinking. He just texted and I didn't answer because I'm trying to stay detached. He texted again "F ....ing answer me. I replied and then asked the question "Where are you?" Of course I didn't really want to know. Now I do and I can't st...

killling_me_softly · killling_me_softly

Hello everybody. I'm new here and I'm not really sure where to start... My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He is a really great man. Good to my son (from a previously relationship) and to my whole entire family. The problem is, he is an alcoholic. He tries to find every reason and every exc...

MindyC · MindyC

First off I would like to say Hi. I am the mother of a 25 yr old alcohol and drug addict. Being a mother that has watched this child go thru so many health issues as a child ( he was diagnosed with Crohns at the age of 11) I have this mother bear gut instinct that makes me want to try and fix all his problems. I h...

glad · glad

My bf of a year who I am considering marrying soon had some mini strokes last week and was a patient in ICU. He has many adult children. One daughter announced her plan to bring her two teenage children from hundreds of miles away so that she could "take care of Daddy" which she has n...

AlAnonPhuket · AlAnonPhuket

Hi there, I am just trying to spread the word that finally an Al Anon group has started in Phuket, Thailand. Our helpline number is 0925909845, or you can email us at alanonphuket AT gmail DOT com if you would like to join us. We especially welcome visitors who are willing to share their experience, stre...

tortuga · tortuga

ok, i need a discussion here. As i stepped out of an unhealthy relationship with an A, i now am back for some time in my country and family of origin. And I feel different. Bored, alone, awake and constantly in the need to step away, because they drink, and with the drink comes stupid, selfish, cold behavi...

NL14 · NL14

Thank goodness it's Monday... I wonder if others with A partners feel this way: filled with relief that the weekend of togetherness and all that that entails is finally over and everyone's back to work and school on Monday. It's sad not to look forward to the weekend the way most people do, but I haven't...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Well, I went and put my foot into it, good and proper like. I was doing well, trying to do my own thing, take care of my own needs, all that jazz. I had been ignoring that he'd been drinking again, not my problem. I knew he was upset about something, but whatever. I just can't seem to leave things alone. ...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

My husband has been an addict for 10+ years and our daughters and I have been through hell during that time. In April, he finally admitted himself into an inpatient program. Throughout that time I was enjoying the peace and serenity at home, and realized that I could never, ever sacrifice that again...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

For the past several years as AH drank more and more and the hatred and distance grew I dreamed of being done with it all, now that I know it isn't all personal and he's sick and he has been trying to control his drinking it's so much harder to make the break. I feel like a yo-yo, one day/hour I am done and want...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

So, my husband has been an addict for 10+ years, and throughout that time I have never shared this with my family. His family is knows and provides him their support, but mine are in the dark. We separated when he went to treatment (which is how he hit bottom and ended up going), and now we seem to be livi...

Luiza · Luiza

I can't believe I would be writing this here, but here I am. I am ashamed, but I feel I need to share. So, Saturday night, H was asleep, I was with daughter watching TV and decided to drink one can of beer (440ml). I drank very quickly, daughter went to sleep and I decided to get a second one. Finished the sec...

watts · watts

So, I'm still going through the motions...packing near completion...goodbyes being said...two days of tears...heart breaking... Friday I set up time for my son to meet up with his half sister (AHs daughter from previous marriage)...they spent the afternoon together having fun then at the end of...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I stood up for myself at work yesterday and now I'm second guessing myself. Where I work I do the payroll, budgeting, bill paying and scheduling and for a law enforcement facility. I'm supposed to get help from the two other clerical ople at work - but they refuse. So therefore over the years I have l...

Lost Bird · Lost Bird

Hi, I am new to this forum, but not to the program as I am certain my family has had a connection to AA since 1935. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family of perfection. No one outside of the family knows there is an issue and those on the inside are not allowed to discuss or challenge it. As a result, I gr...

el-cee · el-cee

My sons new girlfriend has got a new house and he is moving in, they are like a family. She hasnt got much support from her own family but my family, wow, everyone is chipping in and helping out in all kinds of ways. Ive begun to question mine and my familys motives. Have we all jumped in to help through our ow...

kranjo · kranjo

My husband and I have been married for 7 years. He's always been a drinker, but I've never really seen him act drunk. I also remember being engaged to him and having taken a look in his medicine cabinet and thinking, wow. That's a lot of drugs. (He has back, neck, and knee pain, anxiety, depression, sleep...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

My AM asked me to get something for her & bring it upstairs..I got annoyed b/c I'm tired of enabeling her. But I feel like I can't tell her that b/c she will think it's about her drinking.. does that make sense or am I making something out of nothing? Was I wrong to get upset? Thank you for listening.

luv123 · luv123

Hi ala-friends, Gonna be 50 this week--do u remember how that felt for you or were u going through too much other bigger disease stuff at that time--do these milestone birthdays always feel tough for you ( I know many of u have also seen 60 & 70 & 80 or higher)? --I am feeling emotional; I could u...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My last atty (not the one who had the stroke my female atty) and I had a conversation about what I need to know and when, why it comes to me and that I explained it's just a God thing. I remember her looking at me and telling me S .. if it were anyone except you .. I would think they were off their rocker. I have...

Katy · Katy

So many thoughts, Letting go? Opening my mind to being taught new ways to live a better life, changing my thinking of how and why I stayed so long in something that was killing me, would it still be too smug of me to think the union of both myself and my husband was a wake up call to teach us both a hard lesson in...

Flower49 · Flower49

This morning when I woke up and began my prayers an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness came over me. I felt so grateful to have finally come to understand the need for space between my AH and myself, I was so thankful and happy for all that I have and the abilities I have that allow me to do my job, do my rec...

Luiza · Luiza

Before I discovered this amazing program, I had already committed to go to a Wedding of a special friend and a Vacation with H's family. It is all happening in August so we have few weeks to go. So I am now thinking about it more and more. H asked me the the other day to tex him the exactly days of the vacation s...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

AH and I have been separated for 2 months. whenever he sounded crazy, I would track his whereabouts to make sure he is not coming to my place. Since I have put my boundary in place (not replying to nasty text, not answering calls at unreasonable times and changing my lock) I felt safe enough to let go and no...

Flower49 · Flower49

I am so confused. I still have not been able to speak or see my husband now for 7 weeks while he is at the 1/2 way house. I was calling on Monday's asking the man in charge if the restrictions have been lifted and that he had told me it was 30 days and that was quite sometime ago. He said to me last Monday, it's not...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I have lost my serenity in the last month. And i am very unhappy snappy and mad. Doing the self talk not paying attention to whats going on around me not finding any joy in being alive and happy. my dry ah is acting squirrelly again and i am getting angry. Not alanon i know but he pushes my buttons. I told hi...

PP · PP

Thankfully I have resources to help me get through rough times. These most recent days have been rough. I don't feel well, my elderly parents are both having some rough times, and our home has been overtaken by a loving, yet large dog I have nicknamed T-Rex, as his head moves about in an awkwardly ma...

watts · watts

I've been posting here lately because it helps - Groundhog day and Hi again - so now I need to know that I'm doing the right thing....my heart is breaking but I keep going through the motions...Monday is my target date for leaving. Thoughts running through my head go crazy, so I have to keep telling myse...

Rusty Angel · Rusty Angel

Feeling a lot of guilt for leaving my alcoholic 9 months ago......because he is very ill and in declining health. I couldn't stand the emptiness of our relationship any longer.....was crying all the time, felt like the cleaning lady in the spare room down the hall. I was ready to leave a few years a...

tortuga · tortuga

the day has come when I had to move away, out of the country I used to live for 4 years. Job ended and so did my motivation to stay close to ex-abusive-A. I felt very unsure about this moment, very scared, and very sad. So much has happened. And I used to love this place. But now I start thinking, this moving aw...

Katy · Katy

He threw the photo's of our holiday at me and said there deny that, so I looked at him and said, thankyou I will take these to the doctors with me when I go in a bit and ask for help because I am cracking up with this insanity, he said you do that, he was asking me questions, well really talking at me not too me, an...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

While I am very thankful that I found this discussion board, there is nothing like face to face al-anon meetings with people who are struggling or who have struggled with the same pain that I feel. We are reading from Courage to Change, and I cannot believe how so much of this book seems to have been writt...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I go back home tomorrow after 2 weeks of off and on tennis trips with my son. It will be time to get back to reality when I get home and I'm not happy about it. AH has been working his program, he's been pleasant to talk to, but I just don't care anymore. I am so ready to move on with my life, put my son's sched...

Volleyball66 · Volleyball66

Hey, my dad is a raging alcoholic. He has been ever since my mom left. I put up with it until I got into middle school. Our fights started getting really bad, so I was hardly ever home. When I was in 8th grade I remember my dad getting the stomach flu. Around 4 in the morning he started throwing up blood. He did...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Tools from Al-anon to deal with everyday life (Preview) Although I have only attended a few f2f meetings and reading the posts from this site for 3 months, I have picked up skills to deal with non - A people too! I have been working 14-16 hours a day for the last 3 weeks. There were deadlines and analysis was needed like 2 weeks ago. I was asked to take up this proj...	sunshine23	5	430	Jul 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	mind battles (Preview) Just want to share this before I go to sleep. I was thinking about alcoholism, and the battles we go through being friends,family, and partners of addicts. We lose the battle in our minds first before we lose it to something or someone else first. If we have made up our mind about something, then no matte...	giraffe13	3	243	Jul 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	No one even mentioned his name (Preview) and it didn't seem that anyone missed him or cared. We had a Yogurt Birthday party for my 10year old grandson (freaking delicious!!). My daughter and son-in-law were paying and I've been practicing liking freebies so I went...Wife was feeling spine sore so Its up to me right?? lol We all had fun c...	Jerry F	7	534	Jul 17, 2014 by Jerry F
	This is my first time here online and my first ever post, but I am in a really bad place (Preview) Hello everyone: I have been in a relationship with a man for what will be 4 years, TODAY... But, as usual with him lately, he stood me up last night as we had a date planned to go on after his "supposed meeting". He has been using for as long as I know, and even lots that i don't know of. He is hooke...	Talllady	11	573	Jul 17, 2014 by karma13
	I feel like I won another battle without even fighting (Preview) So yesterday H came home after a late shift...of course he had a few drinks. I was in the bedroom meditating, and he came in. Got ready to sleep and started asking questions AGAIN. - Are you ok? Are you sure? Do you want to tell me anything? Is there anything you want to talk about? Are you upset? Have a done s...	Luiza	12	601	Jul 17, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	I really suck and messed up (Preview) I was ok really, happy, enjoying things, then these things happened: My tenants shorted me money with out asking, money I needed for my last week before I get paid. (only get money once a month) left me stuck at home when I needed seriously to get to town. I texted my son as I really needed help. He never tex...	Debilyn	13	638	Jul 17, 2014 by bud
	venting (Preview) )c:< Today I decided to stop this behavior of hoping someone would call me. Stop waiting for my son to get back to me. I invited a supposed friend, on her terms it seems, to come out the end of this month. I wanted to decorate and make a yummy meal or go out. she writes back i migh...	Debilyn	15	639	Jul 17, 2014 by bud
	Question about chairing a meeting (Preview) At our meeting tonight no came to chair the meeting. I didn't know what to do, so I went ahead and started with all the usual al-anon speak, we chose step 1 as our topic and then I closed with the usual al-anon closing and prayer. I hope this was ok to do, I needed a meeting and the others did too. Not sure what t...	Flower49	3	389	Jul 17, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Revealing my ugly little secret (Preview) I broke down a wall today that I had been hiding behind for such a long time. I finally told my mom just how bad my husbands drinking has gotten. For so many years I did not want to admit this to anyone. Somehow I have felt that I carried part of the blame for this. I know now (through Al-Anon) that I'm not to b...	cloudyskies	4	409	Jul 17, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Derek Jeter and My Son (Preview) I watched the tribute video to Derek Jeter and the newscasts in the All Stars game. Our families lived in the same complex where I moved from my home state with my children who were both 8 and 6 at the time. Derek and my son are the same age. They played ball in the back yard. Both my kids and Derek played...	grateful2be	17	645	Jul 16, 2014 by grateful2be
	living In the present (Preview) Part of my dis-ease was the constant what ifs. The future terrified me before alanon. I couldnt live life or enjoy life as it happened, I was too busy worrying about tomorrow to take any notice of today. Just for today is becoming clearer to me. Its important to my happiness and positive thinking becau...	el-cee	11	1842	Jul 16, 2014 by blessed
	Wearing Blinders (Preview) I'm in a really bad place. My AH came home yesterday after being on a binge. He then proceeded to finally talk to me. He says he doesn't understand why he is choosing to drink. He says he thinks his life is boring without it. What a remark! I like boring. It means we can go on without the ups and downs of...	Hullibee	10	482	Jul 16, 2014 by blessed
	I couldn't really! (Preview) Keep my mouth shut in my relationship, because there were too many issues and behaviours that affected me, being part of a couple that made a pact to love one another in sickness and in health well I tried very hard too, I just missed the part where mutual was mentioned and there was very little of that. So...	Katy	2	262	Jul 16, 2014 by hotrod
	I will not.... (Preview) I will not reply to an email that came from someone that is sitting 6 feet away from me in a hotel room, asking where we should go to dinner. DO NOT REPLY DELETE For awhile I had him blocked, and his messages immediately went to trash. I guess I should set that up again. My AH won't talk to me but will send me tex...	blessed	19	698	Jul 16, 2014 by blessed
	Thank-you Kenny Fenderjazz!! (Preview) Well, my second attempt at the driving test is next week and the nerves are building again. So today, I took my daughter to get her ears pierced again (she wanted her nose pierced, as if, we settled for a second set of earings). On the way I admitted to her that i have always wanted to get my nose pierced but,...	missmeliss	22	575	Jul 16, 2014 by PP
	Running around like a chicken with his head cut off (Preview) called my AH tonight trying to help him understand the seriousness of us possibly losing our house soon. He says he is too busy and needs to go to hardware store. He always runs to the store right before it closes...racing there like a maniac. my AH said he would have a job by the end of June. No job. He suppo...	Newlife girl	4	410	Jul 16, 2014 by Newlife girl
	My RAH put himself on a weird diet and other sobriety questions (Preview) So, ever since my RAH quit drinking a few weeks ago, I've noticed that his diet is crazy weird. He will not eat what I cook, which I'm not sure if this is a passive aggressive thing towards me or if he's just not hungry for it or whatever (he's an A so I honestly don't ask). He had mentioned that he was trying...	andromeda	12	574	Jul 16, 2014 by andromeda
	To stay or to go? (Preview) Hi - I've an AW that has been in recovery now for 12 years and we've 2 kids. Over the years she's had bouts of depression that I've been drawn into but with the help of meetings I've been able to stay sane, however I only go to meetings at the darkest moments (I know I need to keep coming back). The last 6 months...	Sean_82	9	501	Jul 16, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	like a baby.. (Preview) The A is just laying in his room like a baby. I am utterly detatched and he knows I am seeking housing that does not include him. He isn't even drinking, and when he does get alcohol he has a few drinks, gets fuzzy and turns off his light and goes to sleep, for a good 16-18 hours. Der, he's extremely depressed...	missmeliss	17	698	Jul 15, 2014 by Talllady
	What the A does or does not do should not surprise us! (Preview) I came to this realization today when I told a close friend of mine that when she was suspicious today that her addict husband possibly" took something" yesterday....that she shouldn't be surprised because that's who he is! I told her I know my AH will drink again and when he does, it won't s...	Newlife girl	17	519	Jul 15, 2014 by blessed
	One Hour (Preview) Hi Everyone I have spent a hour here thinking should I post or not. OK I'm posting I'm in a rut. I'm scared, worried and tired of my life. The bad part is I won't do anything about it. I work many hours then when I do get home I just lay down and go to sleep. All weekend all I did was lay on the bed and watch...	Cathyinaz	10	862	Jul 15, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Question about detox (Preview) Hi all, My A and I got into an argument, and instead of talking it out he decided to go drink himself silly. That was last night. Today he has spent most of the day throwing up and sleeping on the bathroom floor, instead of taking his daughter out for her birthday like he had promised. His daughter and his mo...	KiaOra	10	795	Jul 15, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	We are finally going to get some rain. (Preview)	Cathyinaz	10	587	Jul 15, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Help me! Why won't my Mom leave him???!!!! (Preview) Ok, I am going to try and sum this up the quickest way I can. My mother has been with her alcoholic boyfreind for 20years. He is a monster. She goes to work, busts her hump and is the sole breadwinner. He does NOTHING, contributes NOTHING, and she allows him to control all of her finances! She forks her mone...	xeternalblossomx	3	450	Jul 15, 2014 by hotrod
	the alcoholic CAN be forced to get sober (Preview) Todays odat was a good one and I thought I would share parts of it with you. An aa who counsels families 'Yes, the alcoholic can be forced to get sober' the wife then goes on to list all the things shes tried over the years, threats, ultimatum, control etc. The aa person says 'that is you applying the force a...	el-cee	14	593	Jul 15, 2014 by PP
	Just so tired.. had enough of this (Preview) My partner hasn't drunk for over 10 years but nothing changes, I still have to deal with the bouts of depression, manipulation, resentment etc etc the mood of the our family home (we've two young kids) is governed by how she feels. My current frustration is that maybe 6 months ago I was happy, positive a...	Sean_82	14	765	Jul 15, 2014 by andromeda
	Feeling Useless (Preview) Well here I sit. Wondering where my alcoholic is drinking. He just texted and I didn't answer because I'm trying to stay detached. He texted again "F ....ing answer me. I replied and then asked the question "Where are you?" Of course I didn't really want to know. Now I do and I can't st...	Hullibee	8	345	Jul 15, 2014 by Hullibee
	Drunk in Love... (Preview) Hello everybody. I'm new here and I'm not really sure where to start... My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He is a really great man. Good to my son (from a previously relationship) and to my whole entire family. The problem is, he is an alcoholic. He tries to find every reason and every exc...	killling_me_softly	7	481	Jul 15, 2014 by glad
	New and finally reaching out (Preview) First off I would like to say Hi. I am the mother of a 25 yr old alcohol and drug addict. Being a mother that has watched this child go thru so many health issues as a child ( he was diagnosed with Crohns at the age of 11) I have this mother bear gut instinct that makes me want to try and fix all his problems. I h...	MindyC	11	615	Jul 15, 2014 by intoit
	Obviousy I still need support/ help! (Preview) My bf of a year who I am considering marrying soon had some mini strokes last week and was a patient in ICU. He has many adult children. One daughter announced her plan to bring her two teenage children from hundreds of miles away so that she could "take care of Daddy" which she has n...	glad	8	384	Jul 15, 2014 by el-cee
	New Meetings in Phuket, Thailand Phuket Thailand Chalong SE Asia Pattong meetings Al Anon (Preview) Hi there, I am just trying to spread the word that finally an Al Anon group has started in Phuket, Thailand. Our helpline number is 0925909845, or you can email us at alanonphuket AT gmail DOT com if you would like to join us. We especially welcome visitors who are willing to share their experience, stre...	AlAnonPhuket	2	8031	Jul 15, 2014 by AlAnonPhuket
	alcohol in the family…evolution. (Preview) ok, i need a discussion here. As i stepped out of an unhealthy relationship with an A, i now am back for some time in my country and family of origin. And I feel different. Bored, alone, awake and constantly in the need to step away, because they drink, and with the drink comes stupid, selfish, cold behavi...	tortuga	9	463	Jul 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	TGIM (Preview) Thank goodness it's Monday... I wonder if others with A partners feel this way: filled with relief that the weekend of togetherness and all that that entails is finally over and everyone's back to work and school on Monday. It's sad not to look forward to the weekend the way most people do, but I haven't...	NL14	4	547	Jul 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	Making a mess of things (Preview) Well, I went and put my foot into it, good and proper like. I was doing well, trying to do my own thing, take care of my own needs, all that jazz. I had been ignoring that he'd been drinking again, not my problem. I knew he was upset about something, but whatever. I just can't seem to leave things alone. ...	SpiderArcana	15	446	Jul 14, 2014 by blessed
	Husband's AA friend is female-----boundaries are broken (Preview) My husband has been an addict for 10+ years and our daughters and I have been through hell during that time. In April, he finally admitted himself into an inpatient program. Throughout that time I was enjoying the peace and serenity at home, and realized that I could never, ever sacrifice that again...	sunrise2014	16	1169	Jul 14, 2014 by pinkchip
	Didn't foresee this outcome (Preview) For the past several years as AH drank more and more and the hatred and distance grew I dreamed of being done with it all, now that I know it isn't all personal and he's sick and he has been trying to control his drinking it's so much harder to make the break. I feel like a yo-yo, one day/hour I am done and want...	Kerrymom	6	455	Jul 14, 2014 by Kerrymom
	Do I tell my family? (Preview) So, my husband has been an addict for 10+ years, and throughout that time I have never shared this with my family. His family is knows and provides him their support, but mine are in the dark. We separated when he went to treatment (which is how he hit bottom and ended up going), and now we seem to be livi...	sunrise2014	4	366	Jul 14, 2014 by hotrod
	Reversed roles and a slap in the face. (Preview) I can't believe I would be writing this here, but here I am. I am ashamed, but I feel I need to share. So, Saturday night, H was asleep, I was with daughter watching TV and decided to drink one can of beer (440ml). I drank very quickly, daughter went to sleep and I decided to get a second one. Finished the sec...	Luiza	19	895	Jul 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	Two days of tears (Preview) So, I'm still going through the motions...packing near completion...goodbyes being said...two days of tears...heart breaking... Friday I set up time for my son to meet up with his half sister (AHs daughter from previous marriage)...they spent the afternoon together having fun then at the end of...	watts	8	368	Jul 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Stood up for myself and now I'm second guessing it! (Preview) I stood up for myself at work yesterday and now I'm second guessing myself. Where I work I do the payroll, budgeting, bill paying and scheduling and for a law enforcement facility. I'm supposed to get help from the two other clerical ople at work - but they refuse. So therefore over the years I have l...	slowlearner	8	604	Jul 13, 2014 by Kelly123
	Parental Alienation & Family Shunning (Preview) Hi, I am new to this forum, but not to the program as I am certain my family has had a connection to AA since 1935. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family of perfection. No one outside of the family knows there is an issue and those on the inside are not allowed to discuss or challenge it. As a result, I gr...	Lost Bird	7	608	Jul 13, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	motives (Preview) My sons new girlfriend has got a new house and he is moving in, they are like a family. She hasnt got much support from her own family but my family, wow, everyone is chipping in and helping out in all kinds of ways. Ive begun to question mine and my familys motives. Have we all jumped in to help through our ow...	el-cee	7	783	Jul 13, 2014 by PP
	Confused and in need of advice (Preview) My husband and I have been married for 7 years. He's always been a drinker, but I've never really seen him act drunk. I also remember being engaged to him and having taken a look in his medicine cabinet and thinking, wow. That's a lot of drugs. (He has back, neck, and knee pain, anxiety, depression, sleep...	kranjo	13	724	Jul 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	Was I wrong? (Preview) My AM asked me to get something for her & bring it upstairs..I got annoyed b/c I'm tired of enabeling her. But I feel like I can't tell her that b/c she will think it's about her drinking.. does that make sense or am I making something out of nothing? Was I wrong to get upset? Thank you for listening.	phoenixmagicgirl	6	407	Jul 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	On Turning 50 or higher/ using program tools (Preview) Hi ala-friends, Gonna be 50 this week--do u remember how that felt for you or were u going through too much other bigger disease stuff at that time--do these milestone birthdays always feel tough for you ( I know many of u have also seen 60 & 70 & 80 or higher)? --I am feeling emotional; I could u...	luv123	18	654	Jul 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	Information magnet .. LOL (Preview) My last atty (not the one who had the stroke my female atty) and I had a conversation about what I need to know and when, why it comes to me and that I explained it's just a God thing. I remember her looking at me and telling me S .. if it were anyone except you .. I would think they were off their rocker. I have...	SerenityRUS	4	449	Jul 12, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	what to call this next thread? (Preview) So many thoughts, Letting go? Opening my mind to being taught new ways to live a better life, changing my thinking of how and why I stayed so long in something that was killing me, would it still be too smug of me to think the union of both myself and my husband was a wake up call to teach us both a hard lesson in...	Katy	8	637	Jul 12, 2014 by Debilyn
	Grateful (Preview) This morning when I woke up and began my prayers an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness came over me. I felt so grateful to have finally come to understand the need for space between my AH and myself, I was so thankful and happy for all that I have and the abilities I have that allow me to do my job, do my rec...	Flower49	6	256	Jul 12, 2014 by MindyC
	Getting slightly anxious now. We need to go to a wedding and vacation... (Preview) Before I discovered this amazing program, I had already committed to go to a Wedding of a special friend and a Vacation with H's family. It is all happening in August so we have few weeks to go. So I am now thinking about it more and more. H asked me the the other day to tex him the exactly days of the vacation s...	Luiza	5	609	Jul 12, 2014 by Luiza
	I am so sad (Preview) AH and I have been separated for 2 months. whenever he sounded crazy, I would track his whereabouts to make sure he is not coming to my place. Since I have put my boundary in place (not replying to nasty text, not answering calls at unreasonable times and changing my lock) I felt safe enough to let go and no...	sunshine23	10	577	Jul 12, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Still no communication (Preview) I am so confused. I still have not been able to speak or see my husband now for 7 weeks while he is at the 1/2 way house. I was calling on Monday's asking the man in charge if the restrictions have been lifted and that he had told me it was 30 days and that was quite sometime ago. He said to me last Monday, it's not...	Flower49	27	1485	Jul 12, 2014 by Flower49
	Lost serenity (Preview) I have lost my serenity in the last month. And i am very unhappy snappy and mad. Doing the self talk not paying attention to whats going on around me not finding any joy in being alive and happy. my dry ah is acting squirrelly again and i am getting angry. Not alanon i know but he pushes my buttons. I told hi...	Mirandac	9	466	Jul 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Rough times and gratitude (Preview) Thankfully I have resources to help me get through rough times. These most recent days have been rough. I don't feel well, my elderly parents are both having some rough times, and our home has been overtaken by a loving, yet large dog I have nicknamed T-Rex, as his head moves about in an awkwardly ma...	PP	21	651	Jul 12, 2014 by PP
	Doing the right thing? (Preview) I've been posting here lately because it helps - Groundhog day and Hi again - so now I need to know that I'm doing the right thing....my heart is breaking but I keep going through the motions...Monday is my target date for leaving. Thoughts running through my head go crazy, so I have to keep telling myse...	watts	10	521	Jul 11, 2014 by Jerry F
	Guilt (Preview) Feeling a lot of guilt for leaving my alcoholic 9 months ago......because he is very ill and in declining health. I couldn't stand the emptiness of our relationship any longer.....was crying all the time, felt like the cleaning lady in the spare room down the hall. I was ready to leave a few years a...	Rusty Angel	8	466	Jul 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	i finally moved away... (Preview) the day has come when I had to move away, out of the country I used to live for 4 years. Job ended and so did my motivation to stay close to ex-abusive-A. I felt very unsure about this moment, very scared, and very sad. So much has happened. And I used to love this place. But now I start thinking, this moving aw...	tortuga	10	530	Jul 11, 2014 by tortuga
	Well I left him! (Preview) He threw the photo's of our holiday at me and said there deny that, so I looked at him and said, thankyou I will take these to the doctors with me when I go in a bit and ask for help because I am cracking up with this insanity, he said you do that, he was asking me questions, well really talking at me not too me, an...	Katy	11	628	Jul 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	face2face (Preview) While I am very thankful that I found this discussion board, there is nothing like face to face al-anon meetings with people who are struggling or who have struggled with the same pain that I feel. We are reading from Courage to Change, and I cannot believe how so much of this book seems to have been writt...	cloudyskies	5	368	Jul 11, 2014 by blessed
	Wish me luck (Preview) I go back home tomorrow after 2 weeks of off and on tennis trips with my son. It will be time to get back to reality when I get home and I'm not happy about it. AH has been working his program, he's been pleasant to talk to, but I just don't care anymore. I am so ready to move on with my life, put my son's sched...	ilovedogs	10	513	Jul 11, 2014 by ilovedogs
	My story.... (Preview) Hey, my dad is a raging alcoholic. He has been ever since my mom left. I put up with it until I got into middle school. Our fights started getting really bad, so I was hardly ever home. When I was in 8th grade I remember my dad getting the stomach flu. Around 4 in the morning he started throwing up blood. He did...	Volleyball66	11	543	Jul 11, 2014 by Rusty Angel
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