Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry ah told me tonight who he is going to aa spiritual weekend retreat with, a friend(staying in room with male)and also a girl he is friends with In AA. He had put dates on the calendar but no details. He was hoping to golf and attend seminars but unsure if he going.as you can imagine the conversation w...

littlelionman · littlelionman

I went to my first meeting this past Monday. I was scared and wondered if this was for me. As soon as people started speaking about their lives and how alcoholism affected them I knew I was in the right place. I could relate to everyone's story and I already know walking into that room was the best decis...

always hopeful · always hopeful

Hi all. I'm new to this group, though not to Al-Anon. I grew up attending meetings after my father found AA, and I, reluctantly, came back a few years ago after my father lost his battle and when I had to face that I married back into it. My AH and I moved our family long-distance just over a year ago, and now w...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I have been hesitating writing for two days. Not sure I want to hear a response I already know myself.... My AH has been drinking quite heavily again. I have been trying to get him to talk to me about our problems. He admitted that he is having an affair. I don't know how he's doing it he's been home ever...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I have a very close friend who knows me and my situation well. She is great at giving me her opinion and advice when I need it. but she can't take her own advice! She gives me a lot of praise for what I have done To try and change my life. She has gone to al anon and coda with me a few times but she finds it to be depre...

atheos · atheos

I am interested in coming back to the program (two years mostly-away have not been a good idea), but I have some concerns about whether "you are free to choose your own Higher Power" applies all the way through, or if the program is built with the assumption that whatever "starter high...

andromeda · andromeda

Yep, I live in a world where I say what if....ALL THE TIME. Oh, and then I continue on like this, "What if this happens? Then what?" And I go and do mental gymnastics and try to answer those questions with a million different solutions, variables, etc. Anybody else relate? This is the sin...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

These past 4 days I worked a lot of extra hours. I was exhausted from my job and also dealing with nosey coworkers. On the way home from work yesterday I had to call my AH and tell him I was picking up our daughter. He said she hadn't eaten dinner and he asked me if we could all go out to eat. I told him I will call h...

missmeliss · missmeliss

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Need I explain?

CarlyM123 · CarlyM123

So, here I am working another night shift at the detox and my A and i have a fight. She is sober, well was when i left the house. Has been sober a week now. But we had a little fight before I left for work over the smallest thing and she texted me saying that I am hateful and mean and all this stuff. Basically s...

milkwood · milkwood

I've been thinking about the things that I do to detach. When I first heard about detachment I thought 'well that is the opposite of what I want, I'm trying to get us back together again aren't I?' Then I did some more reading and realised that detachment could mean emotional detachment as well as physi...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I'm feeling lonely today. I've been married for 26 years and my husband and I live in two separate worlds. This is because he is an active alcoholic and I chosen to step away from him and take care of myself. But it would still be nice to have someone to have a conversation with that isn't drunk, to plan v...

Jerry F · Jerry F

to keep it which I learned was about holding on to the program and my recovery and this is true...for me a fact. And then whats my point? avocados!! really??!! Really...A couple of years ago I planted a avocado seed which I got from a neighbors tree. My friends who know and know that they know so m...

CarlyM123 · CarlyM123

Hey its me again haha was just was thinking of something though and had to ask all you intelligent wonderful people... I know i am supposed to live for the day and take it one day at a time, however, in my recovery I am trying to plan what I will say or do the next time my A drinks. If she was to tell me she was goi...

tracym · tracym

Hi All, It seems no matter how long I work the program, things crop up and I have no idea what to do. A little background, my husband is a recovering alcoholic of about 8 years now. We lost our youngest son (my stepson) to suicide this past August, he was 18. The 20 year old stepson went into treatment from al...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I'm getting letters from my son and they are so nice. He thanks me for sending him letters. Just to get them no matter what they say he just loves reading them all. He told not to worry about about my job, paycheck, the president or our country. He says I have always worried about these things. He told me...

el-cee · el-cee

Oh my goodness, how gorgeous are all you guys? Just wanted to thank you for sharing that part, its quite powerful.x

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Something that Alanon has given me is the gift of discernment .. I can take what I like and leave the rest. I can choose when I need to take action or just wait. Before Alanon .. I used to feel I had to address EVERYTHING right then .. get an answer whatever .. now it's more like .. hmm .. is this the alcoholic...

Flower49 · Flower49

I had the wonderful opportunity to co-host a meeting on this board last night. I had chaired one last week when no one came to chair it, but it was so nice last night to have someone teach me the ropes, I felt great about having the opportunity to do service work here. It just made my night :)

Jessiest1 · Jessiest1

My husband went into treatment last week. I was able to visit with him the first few days. He sent a group email Friday night to his parents, brother and me that he does not want to communicate or have visitors until further notice. I feel sad that he doesn't want to talk to me. And I am hurt that he didn't sen...

texasgal · texasgal

I finally was set to move on Friday to my new town and when I got to the apt it was a disaster. I was promised a downstairs updated unit and what I was given was an upstairs unit that was literally falling apart. The light fixture from the dining area was hanging on by one wire. The tub and sink were rusted the c...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I took my camera to one of the gardens in my yard to take a picture of a beautiful Tiger Lily I don't remember planting. Most of the blooms in my yard are medium sized, but this one is about twice the size of all the others. I wanted to capture it and maybe use it as my next avatar. I stood in front of the flowe...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Yeah...it's not pretty in the midst of it but thank god for my mom. She's been there for me through a lot. I don't know if she thought I would ever get my life together. This photo is one of the ones my sponsor took at the wedding. I really like it. Your sons love you even if they aren't in a good spot now or even...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I'm not better I'm depressed can not find work I ran out of money no extra no help . I checked food pantry waiting list for that no places for me to get I to housing is full . Got no family no friends to help me . My ex asked me to drop charges against him last week he said he would help me with money since he workin...

Tampa · Tampa

Although I am not new to this site, I am new to the forums. I am in desperate need of a sponsor. Right now my schedule is spread so thin I can't make it to f2f meetings. I am coming up on heavy schedule with college and having to take care of the home. I also am recovering from surgery. I need someone to help me wo...

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry ah is living at his mothers while we separate. Saw him for 5 minutes tops to discuss money and he needs to sign agreement for our lawyer to represent me in the divorce. I told him he needed to find some time to talk this out. Instead of his usual 5 minute a day i get his attention. He is usually out saving...

Jeffs Mom · Jeffs Mom

43 year old son recently went back to his own home after 21 days of inpatient rehab. We financed the program but we also now have control over his income/bank account to handle all his finances until he has paid us back. He is divorced, without children and lives 150 miles away. It is difficult to suppo...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hi all! Went to see my A on Saturday at the 1/2 way house. Visited with him about 2.5 hours. It was good. Talked with him yesterday and I was kind of weepy, feeling irritated, and just not really hopeful. Partially I think that is because there was a big picnic and he told me on Friday that I wouldn't like it s...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58116328/alanon-step-11/

NL14 · NL14

I've been re-reading a year's worth of journal entries. With a few exceptions, they're all like groundhog day. The number of times I said (about my AH) "I've finally snapped!", "I'm done," "I'm at the end of my rope," etc., would be funny if it weren't so sad. Every ti...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Thought I had coworkers under my al anon spell regarding boundaries when asking me about my AH. I guess not! Another coworker today asked me if we were divorcing after I already told her it was too hard for me to talk about him at work. He used to work at the same place so it's difficult! After she asked me ab...

el-cee · el-cee

Im getting on a plane today for the first time in years and im flying to italy. Im going to rome. Last night I had a bit of a panic attack about it, I got scared about flying, the coming out of my comfort zone, leaving my sons behind, wee bit of guilt, im going with my daughter for some mother, daughter time, a b...

Katy · Katy

Well I am having good days and bad, and I can't help but think how painful it is leaving someone that hurts me so much and makes me feel anxious and fearful all of the time even though this feels like the right thing to do and even though I have taken way to long to have the courage to do it yes it still leaves me f...

milkwood · milkwood

AH has been sleeping in the spare room for nearly two months. Day to day all is well and calm but I do find myself climbing the walls with the lack of emotional connection in my life. Its not new. It is really a long standing problem between us, and one that I ignored for a long time. Today I have tried to a...

Luiza · Luiza

The atmosphere is unbearable, I am starting to shake. He is sober, he had something to drink but is sober and he is angry. He has been so passive aggressive, I hate it. I almost got sucked in the negativity twice but daughter is awake. I must control myself. All because I refused sex last night and sugge...

blessed · blessed

If I follow these guidelines, it is time to leave. Hmmmm. Not so much the reasons to stay; but I could check off just about every one under, when to leave. Every day it is more clear that I am not as attractive as a bottle of vodka; and I won't compete with that, or anything or anybody. better, healthier go a...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I have had a few bad days. I haven't posted because not sure if I can handle any more glaring facts of reality. I let my daughter help me look up phone records yesterday and found phone number on husbands account that he calls daily sometimes more. Daughter called number and a woman answered. I did not h...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I did a gratitude list, a to do for the house and property if we need to sell in the divorce, a fun things to do list, also who i saw or talked to that day. I am contacting people that have been very supportive of me and my Journey with my dry ah the last 11 years. Telling them what is going on and receiving grea...

andromeda · andromeda

I am looking for someone from MIP to check in with me daily to make sure I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing with my program: am I reading, am I journaling, am I writing in my gratitude journal, am I getting to meetings and, if so, when? Am I watching my spending and sticking to a budget or being controlle...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm not sure if I've put boundaries in place or created walls where I work. It doesn't matter because I feel I was true to myself. I'm in transition to a new job in the workplace and finishing up bits and pieces of my old job. My former supervisor took me to lunch and thanked me for my work last week. They ar...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I have worked most of this stuff out I think .. LOL .. however I did want to share some of my own growth this past week. First off, I'm dealing with the dang truck AGAIN! My STBAX actually paid 2 of the 3 tickets .. considering that they were on MY personal credit report and his motto is just don't pay this...

LiveLaughLove · LiveLaughLove

I feel like, not only have a lost at love (again!), since my A-ex created so much chaos in our relationship that what we had was destroyed...I also feel like all of my friendships were destroyed. The one's that were created through our relationship were lost when we split, since most were a part of his l...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

AxBF thinks he has a good hand to play obviously. He really upped the ante this weekend. He posted some very awful pictures and said some very awful things, that he rationalizes as work related but were clearly to hurt me deep down. 1 of them dug up a trust issue we had with someone in 2010 .. He pulled th...

watts · watts

Hi all, Just an update from me..it helps to put it down in writing too...So I'm here at my friends apartment wandering like a lost soul. Her, her daughter and her grandchildren are a great distraction from my own mind as they consistently force me to keep going through the motions of the day, as does my s...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm trying to apply alanon stools to sit. I get in like qtip quit taking it personal,my main problem is I take e erything way too personal,a bf has been trying to make things right between us but I have a bad habit of bringing up his affair he had I can't seem to put it behind me,I turn several things he says...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

hello hello. Been awhile, I just wanted to post and share how I was doing since I broke up with my ABF in April. A few months went by and he called me 3 weeks ago to just see how I was doing. We ended up spending a two week period together, him helping me move into my new apt (where I am now very happy) and we went ca...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

Someone from church found out from my kids that AH has moved out. Proceeded to ask my family why and guessed it was drinking because they saw him drunk twice at my place. My family member actually answered "yes"! The friend proceeded to say "you mean she cannot accept someone who drink...

blessed · blessed

Found this in my trash since I block all his emails; so I guess they go to trash. I sent a copy to his "sponsor". That is a joke as he lies to him and is working NO program. Just smoke & mirrors. I don't give my A access to online acts. as he is an A. He can walk in the bank with a check and take everyt...

Gaby · Gaby

My son has been sentenced it's been over 2 weeks. I have written several letters but have not mailed any.. His is now off restriction but yet the thought of visiting him gives me anxiety.. I get depressed. He knows I love him. But his actions and poor choices has effected me and his little sister in so many...

Greenleaf · Greenleaf

I have been dealing with my AH now for three years. He has had some counselling but now refuses to go as he feels he can quit on his own. He has done that, then starts up again. Of course he denies actually being an alcoholic - he says he has a "drinking problem" because of the way people treat h...

pwcpw · pwcpw

I am new here and am so glad I found this group. It seems that what I am feeling is so similar to others here - so conflicted. I have been married for a very long time to a husband who started out not to drink much at all. Like the frog in the kettle, I'm just not sure when or how he became so dependent on drinkin...

blessed · blessed

My A has told me that on this date, this, that and the other is going to happen including, "I will buy you out and then you need to leave.", and it woudl be best if we just "did this ourselves instead of involing expensive attorneys." What that says to me is, "just trust me, even...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I realize alcoholism is classified as a disease. But I have some issues with that word. The "cure" for alcoholism is abstinence. If the alcoholic chooses to drink, they are choosing not to utilize the cure. We have a choice to stick around and watch them destroy themselves or not. They may a...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I've had a rough day. As I transition at work, things are being turned over to me by a coworker who said some pretty awful things to me and whom I've ignored ever since. She's so cold in her way of communicating it's scary. One day I felt sorry for her because she sat alone after many from her department ha...

blessed · blessed

Today was an intersting day. My son, departing for college in about a month, called from the mechanic. His car repair will exceed the value of the car, and not safe to drive to/from college to home (14 hours and 900 miles). So, car shopping we went. Right after work, we hit a few lots, did some test drives,...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I have been keeping my side of the street clean with my mother, putting boundaries in place. When i told her about my ah wanting a divorce i told her i was going to take care of me first. Not either of my sisters or my mother(they all struggle with addictions/and or disfunction's) She said i would like you...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

Well, I posted previously that my husband (addict) came back home (not officially together) after 7 months of separation and fresh out of rehab (for a month now) and found some gal to phone and text since he's been out. After I was made to feel guilty enough for my stiff-arm I eventually gave in and was...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I woke up this morning and I just didn't want to work today. It has been so stressful and I know I needed to go to work but I just called in sick. No I'm not sick but I don't care. If I didn't take this day off to be by myself and just veg out I don't what I would be like tonight. Did I do wrong yes but s...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I decided a few weeks ago that I would not discuss my AH at work anymore. This morning a coworker bluntly asked me if he and I were getting back together or not. I said "I'm sorry. I can't talk about him at work anymore, it's too distracting. I appreciate your concern. Thanks for asking." I have...

CarlyM123 · CarlyM123

A wonderful lady told me at an al anon meeting something that continues to stick with me - she said "We are only human".... and as simple as that statement is, it really stuck with me because she is so right. Sometimes I feel that because I may get angry or react in ways that I shouldn't with my a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Getting a divorce (Preview) My dry ah told me tonight who he is going to aa spiritual weekend retreat with, a friend(staying in room with male)and also a girl he is friends with In AA. He had put dates on the calendar but no details. He was hoping to golf and attend seminars but unsure if he going.as you can imagine the conversation w...	Mirandac	25	989	Jul 23, 2014 by Mirandac
	Just went to my first meeting (Preview) I went to my first meeting this past Monday. I was scared and wondered if this was for me. As soon as people started speaking about their lives and how alcoholism affected them I knew I was in the right place. I could relate to everyone's story and I already know walking into that room was the best decis...	littlelionman	11	435	Jul 23, 2014 by NL14
	New Here (Preview) Hi all. I'm new to this group, though not to Al-Anon. I grew up attending meetings after my father found AA, and I, reluctantly, came back a few years ago after my father lost his battle and when I had to face that I married back into it. My AH and I moved our family long-distance just over a year ago, and now w...	always hopeful	5	484	Jul 23, 2014 by NL14
	On shaky ground ... (Preview) I have been hesitating writing for two days. Not sure I want to hear a response I already know myself.... My AH has been drinking quite heavily again. I have been trying to get him to talk to me about our problems. He admitted that he is having an affair. I don't know how he's doing it he's been home ever...	Hullibee	13	481	Jul 23, 2014 by milkwood
	Do I keep my mouth shut or not? (Preview) I have a very close friend who knows me and my situation well. She is great at giving me her opinion and advice when I need it. but she can't take her own advice! She gives me a lot of praise for what I have done To try and change my life. She has gone to al anon and coda with me a few times but she finds it to be depre...	Newlife girl	22	653	Jul 23, 2014 by el-cee
	Atheists: How did you handle steps 3, 7 and 11? (Preview) I am interested in coming back to the program (two years mostly-away have not been a good idea), but I have some concerns about whether "you are free to choose your own Higher Power" applies all the way through, or if the program is built with the assumption that whatever "starter high...	atheos	10	693	Jul 23, 2014 by sad_dog_mommy
	What if..... (Preview) Yep, I live in a world where I say what if....ALL THE TIME. Oh, and then I continue on like this, "What if this happens? Then what?" And I go and do mental gymnastics and try to answer those questions with a million different solutions, variables, etc. Anybody else relate? This is the sin...	andromeda	24	555	Jul 23, 2014 by andromeda
	My brain. It's confused. (Preview) These past 4 days I worked a lot of extra hours. I was exhausted from my job and also dealing with nosey coworkers. On the way home from work yesterday I had to call my AH and tell him I was picking up our daughter. He said she hadn't eaten dinner and he asked me if we could all go out to eat. I told him I will call h...	Newlife girl	15	581	Jul 23, 2014 by Jerry F
	All I can say is... (Preview) WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Need I explain?	missmeliss	36	734	Jul 23, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	confused (Preview) So, here I am working another night shift at the detox and my A and i have a fight. She is sober, well was when i left the house. Has been sober a week now. But we had a little fight before I left for work over the smallest thing and she texted me saying that I am hateful and mean and all this stuff. Basically s...	CarlyM123	11	434	Jul 23, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Thoughts about detachment (Preview) I've been thinking about the things that I do to detach. When I first heard about detachment I thought 'well that is the opposite of what I want, I'm trying to get us back together again aren't I?' Then I did some more reading and realised that detachment could mean emotional detachment as well as physi...	milkwood	14	698	Jul 23, 2014 by milkwood
	Feeling Lonely. (Preview) I'm feeling lonely today. I've been married for 26 years and my husband and I live in two separate worlds. This is because he is an active alcoholic and I chosen to step away from him and take care of myself. But it would still be nice to have someone to have a conversation with that isn't drunk, to plan v...	slowlearner	15	890	Jul 23, 2014 by allicat1214
	You have to give it away in order (Preview) to keep it which I learned was about holding on to the program and my recovery and this is true...for me a fact. And then whats my point? avocados!! really??!! Really...A couple of years ago I planted a avocado seed which I got from a neighbors tree. My friends who know and know that they know so m...	Jerry F	14	605	Jul 23, 2014 by Jozie
	Asking for your thoughts (Preview) Hey its me again haha was just was thinking of something though and had to ask all you intelligent wonderful people... I know i am supposed to live for the day and take it one day at a time, however, in my recovery I am trying to plan what I will say or do the next time my A drinks. If she was to tell me she was goi...	CarlyM123	4	496	Jul 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Seriously Confused About What to Do (Preview) Hi All, It seems no matter how long I work the program, things crop up and I have no idea what to do. A little background, my husband is a recovering alcoholic of about 8 years now. We lost our youngest son (my stepson) to suicide this past August, he was 18. The 20 year old stepson went into treatment from al...	tracym	9	458	Jul 23, 2014 by karma13
	Letters (Preview) I'm getting letters from my son and they are so nice. He thanks me for sending him letters. Just to get them no matter what they say he just loves reading them all. He told not to worry about about my job, paycheck, the president or our country. He says I have always worried about these things. He told me...	Cathyinaz	15	735	Jul 22, 2014 by missmeliss
	pictures (Preview) Oh my goodness, how gorgeous are all you guys? Just wanted to thank you for sharing that part, its quite powerful.x	el-cee	21	1416	Jul 22, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Perspectives .. (Preview) Something that Alanon has given me is the gift of discernment .. I can take what I like and leave the rest. I can choose when I need to take action or just wait. Before Alanon .. I used to feel I had to address EVERYTHING right then .. get an answer whatever .. now it's more like .. hmm .. is this the alcoholic...	SerenityRUS	4	784	Jul 22, 2014 by PP
	Chaired a Meeting with Edna (Preview) I had the wonderful opportunity to co-host a meeting on this board last night. I had chaired one last week when no one came to chair it, but it was so nice last night to have someone teach me the ropes, I felt great about having the opportunity to do service work here. It just made my night :)	Flower49	8	333	Jul 22, 2014 by hotrod
	Treatment (Preview) My husband went into treatment last week. I was able to visit with him the first few days. He sent a group email Friday night to his parents, brother and me that he does not want to communicate or have visitors until further notice. I feel sad that he doesn't want to talk to me. And I am hurt that he didn't sen...	Jessiest1	6	570	Jul 22, 2014 by Ifnotforgrace
	working the program (Preview) I finally was set to move on Friday to my new town and when I got to the apt it was a disaster. I was promised a downstairs updated unit and what I was given was an upstairs unit that was literally falling apart. The light fixture from the dining area was hanging on by one wire. The tub and sink were rusted the c...	texasgal	9	438	Jul 22, 2014 by Newlife girl
	A surprise (Preview) I took my camera to one of the gardens in my yard to take a picture of a beautiful Tiger Lily I don't remember planting. Most of the blooms in my yard are medium sized, but this one is about twice the size of all the others. I wanted to capture it and maybe use it as my next avatar. I stood in front of the flowe...	grateful2be	20	580	Jul 22, 2014 by grateful2be
	If you have an A son... (Preview) Yeah...it's not pretty in the midst of it but thank god for my mom. She's been there for me through a lot. I don't know if she thought I would ever get my life together. This photo is one of the ones my sponsor took at the wedding. I really like it. Your sons love you even if they aren't in a good spot now or even...	pinkchip	15	638	Jul 22, 2014 by Luiza
	It's not working for me (Preview) I'm not better I'm depressed can not find work I ran out of money no extra no help . I checked food pantry waiting list for that no places for me to get I to housing is full . Got no family no friends to help me . My ex asked me to drop charges against him last week he said he would help me with money since he workin...	Wisdom67	14	1945	Jul 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	Sponsor (Preview) Although I am not new to this site, I am new to the forums. I am in desperate need of a sponsor. Right now my schedule is spread so thin I can't make it to f2f meetings. I am coming up on heavy schedule with college and having to take care of the home. I also am recovering from surgery. I need someone to help me wo...	Tampa	3	362	Jul 22, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Ah staying at his mothers (Preview) My dry ah is living at his mothers while we separate. Saw him for 5 minutes tops to discuss money and he needs to sign agreement for our lawyer to represent me in the divorce. I told him he needed to find some time to talk this out. Instead of his usual 5 minute a day i get his attention. He is usually out saving...	Mirandac	9	426	Jul 21, 2014 by Jen61
	Support for adult child recently out of rehab (Preview) 43 year old son recently went back to his own home after 21 days of inpatient rehab. We financed the program but we also now have control over his income/bank account to handle all his finances until he has paid us back. He is divorced, without children and lives 150 miles away. It is difficult to suppo...	Jeffs Mom	13	448	Jul 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	Am I resisting or just confused (Preview) Hi all! Went to see my A on Saturday at the 1/2 way house. Visited with him about 2.5 hours. It was good. Talked with him yesterday and I was kind of weepy, feeling irritated, and just not really hopeful. Partially I think that is because there was a big picnic and he told me on Friday that I wouldn't like it s...	Flower49	15	477	Jul 21, 2014 by Flower49
	Step 11 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58116328/alanon-step-11/	hotrod	3	225	Jul 21, 2014 by hotrod
	This rope has a lot of ends (Preview) I've been re-reading a year's worth of journal entries. With a few exceptions, they're all like groundhog day. The number of times I said (about my AH) "I've finally snapped!", "I'm done," "I'm at the end of my rope," etc., would be funny if it weren't so sad. Every ti...	NL14	2	312	Jul 21, 2014 by andromeda
	Relentless coworkers bugging me! (Preview) Thought I had coworkers under my al anon spell regarding boundaries when asking me about my AH. I guess not! Another coworker today asked me if we were divorcing after I already told her it was too hard for me to talk about him at work. He used to work at the same place so it's difficult! After she asked me ab...	Newlife girl	10	533	Jul 21, 2014 by Jerry F
	when in rome (Preview) Im getting on a plane today for the first time in years and im flying to italy. Im going to rome. Last night I had a bit of a panic attack about it, I got scared about flying, the coming out of my comfort zone, leaving my sons behind, wee bit of guilt, im going with my daughter for some mother, daughter time, a b...	el-cee	21	887	Jul 21, 2014 by el-cee
	Update on my having left home (Preview) Well I am having good days and bad, and I can't help but think how painful it is leaving someone that hurts me so much and makes me feel anxious and fearful all of the time even though this feels like the right thing to do and even though I have taken way to long to have the courage to do it yes it still leaves me f...	Katy	6	453	Jul 20, 2014 by sunshine23
	I need to pull my finger out... (Preview) AH has been sleeping in the spare room for nearly two months. Day to day all is well and calm but I do find myself climbing the walls with the lack of emotional connection in my life. Its not new. It is really a long standing problem between us, and one that I ignored for a long time. Today I have tried to a...	milkwood	14	477	Jul 20, 2014 by tiredtonite
	I am scared. (Preview) The atmosphere is unbearable, I am starting to shake. He is sober, he had something to drink but is sober and he is angry. He has been so passive aggressive, I hate it. I almost got sucked in the negativity twice but daughter is awake. I must control myself. All because I refused sex last night and sugge...	Luiza	31	760	Jul 20, 2014 by Tampa
	When is it time to leave? (Preview) If I follow these guidelines, it is time to leave. Hmmmm. Not so much the reasons to stay; but I could check off just about every one under, when to leave. Every day it is more clear that I am not as attractive as a bottle of vodka; and I won't compete with that, or anything or anybody. better, healthier go a...	blessed	7	838	Jul 20, 2014 by Tampa
	Facing it (Preview) I have had a few bad days. I haven't posted because not sure if I can handle any more glaring facts of reality. I let my daughter help me look up phone records yesterday and found phone number on husbands account that he calls daily sometimes more. Daughter called number and a woman answered. I did not h...	Hullibee	7	419	Jul 20, 2014 by Debilyn
	making lists (Preview) I did a gratitude list, a to do for the house and property if we need to sell in the divorce, a fun things to do list, also who i saw or talked to that day. I am contacting people that have been very supportive of me and my Journey with my dry ah the last 11 years. Telling them what is going on and receiving grea...	Mirandac	8	432	Jul 20, 2014 by Mirandac
	Need some accountabilty (Preview) I am looking for someone from MIP to check in with me daily to make sure I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing with my program: am I reading, am I journaling, am I writing in my gratitude journal, am I getting to meetings and, if so, when? Am I watching my spending and sticking to a budget or being controlle...	andromeda	11	463	Jul 20, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Update about work (Preview) I'm not sure if I've put boundaries in place or created walls where I work. It doesn't matter because I feel I was true to myself. I'm in transition to a new job in the workplace and finishing up bits and pieces of my old job. My former supervisor took me to lunch and thanked me for my work last week. They ar...	tiredtonite	13	522	Jul 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	Parking tickets .. AND visitation .. (Preview) So I have worked most of this stuff out I think .. LOL .. however I did want to share some of my own growth this past week. First off, I'm dealing with the dang truck AGAIN! My STBAX actually paid 2 of the 3 tickets .. considering that they were on MY personal credit report and his motto is just don't pay this...	SerenityRUS	14	451	Jul 20, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Feeling very alone (Preview) I feel like, not only have a lost at love (again!), since my A-ex created so much chaos in our relationship that what we had was destroyed...I also feel like all of my friendships were destroyed. The one's that were created through our relationship were lost when we split, since most were a part of his l...	LiveLaughLove	8	462	Jul 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	upping the ante uppingtheante breakups maliciousbehavior (Preview) AxBF thinks he has a good hand to play obviously. He really upped the ante this weekend. He posted some very awful pictures and said some very awful things, that he rationalizes as work related but were clearly to hurt me deep down. 1 of them dug up a trust issue we had with someone in 2010 .. He pulled th...	giraffe13	9	643	Jul 20, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Just keep swimming.... (Preview) Hi all, Just an update from me..it helps to put it down in writing too...So I'm here at my friends apartment wandering like a lost soul. Her, her daughter and her grandchildren are a great distraction from my own mind as they consistently force me to keep going through the motions of the day, as does my s...	watts	6	446	Jul 19, 2014 by hotrod
	Don't know where I stand (Preview) I'm trying to apply alanon stools to sit. I get in like qtip quit taking it personal,my main problem is I take e erything way too personal,a bf has been trying to make things right between us but I have a bad habit of bringing up his affair he had I can't seem to put it behind me,I turn several things he says...	lookingup	7	405	Jul 19, 2014 by Debilyn
	update since my breakup (Preview) hello hello. Been awhile, I just wanted to post and share how I was doing since I broke up with my ABF in April. A few months went by and he called me 3 weeks ago to just see how I was doing. We ended up spending a two week period together, him helping me move into my new apt (where I am now very happy) and we went ca...	giraffe13	8	515	Jul 19, 2014 by giraffe13
	Why can't I accept drinking? (Preview) Someone from church found out from my kids that AH has moved out. Proceeded to ask my family why and guessed it was drinking because they saw him drunk twice at my place. My family member actually answered "yes"! The friend proceeded to say "you mean she cannot accept someone who drink...	sunshine23	7	412	Jul 19, 2014 by blessed
	Is this a threat? (Preview) Found this in my trash since I block all his emails; so I guess they go to trash. I sent a copy to his "sponsor". That is a joke as he lies to him and is working NO program. Just smoke & mirrors. I don't give my A access to online acts. as he is an A. He can walk in the bank with a check and take everyt...	blessed	10	563	Jul 19, 2014 by blessed
	Anxiety and Stressed !! (Preview) My son has been sentenced it's been over 2 weeks. I have written several letters but have not mailed any.. His is now off restriction but yet the thought of visiting him gives me anxiety.. I get depressed. He knows I love him. But his actions and poor choices has effected me and his little sister in so many...	Gaby	9	373	Jul 19, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Removing the Privilege to drive (Preview) I have been dealing with my AH now for three years. He has had some counselling but now refuses to go as he feels he can quit on his own. He has done that, then starts up again. Of course he denies actually being an alcoholic - he says he has a "drinking problem" because of the way people treat h...	Greenleaf	13	510	Jul 19, 2014 by sunshine23
	Newbie - Feeling less alone (Preview) I am new here and am so glad I found this group. It seems that what I am feeling is so similar to others here - so conflicted. I have been married for a very long time to a husband who started out not to drink much at all. Like the frog in the kettle, I'm just not sure when or how he became so dependent on drinkin...	pwcpw	9	629	Jul 19, 2014 by pinkchip
	Attorney (Preview) My A has told me that on this date, this, that and the other is going to happen including, "I will buy you out and then you need to leave.", and it woudl be best if we just "did this ourselves instead of involing expensive attorneys." What that says to me is, "just trust me, even...	blessed	14	640	Jul 19, 2014 by Newlife girl
	I think referring to alcoholism as a disease makes people feel obligated to stay with the alcoholic (Preview) I realize alcoholism is classified as a disease. But I have some issues with that word. The "cure" for alcoholism is abstinence. If the alcoholic chooses to drink, they are choosing not to utilize the cure. We have a choice to stick around and watch them destroy themselves or not. They may a...	Newlife girl	20	656	Jul 19, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Judgemental Coworkers (Preview) I've had a rough day. As I transition at work, things are being turned over to me by a coworker who said some pretty awful things to me and whom I've ignored ever since. She's so cold in her way of communicating it's scary. One day I felt sorry for her because she sat alone after many from her department ha...	tiredtonite	8	979	Jul 18, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Where Are You? (Preview) Today was an intersting day. My son, departing for college in about a month, called from the mechanic. His car repair will exceed the value of the car, and not safe to drive to/from college to home (14 hours and 900 miles). So, car shopping we went. Right after work, we hit a few lots, did some test drives,...	blessed	13	462	Jul 18, 2014 by blessed
	Clean street with mother (Preview) I have been keeping my side of the street clean with my mother, putting boundaries in place. When i told her about my ah wanting a divorce i told her i was going to take care of me first. Not either of my sisters or my mother(they all struggle with addictions/and or disfunction's) She said i would like you...	Mirandac	4	373	Jul 18, 2014 by Mirandac
	Broken spirit - broken heart (Preview) Well, I posted previously that my husband (addict) came back home (not officially together) after 7 months of separation and fresh out of rehab (for a month now) and found some gal to phone and text since he's been out. After I was made to feel guilty enough for my stiff-arm I eventually gave in and was...	sunrise2014	15	626	Jul 18, 2014 by milkwood
	Have a Good Friday (Preview) Hi Everyone I woke up this morning and I just didn't want to work today. It has been so stressful and I know I needed to go to work but I just called in sick. No I'm not sick but I don't care. If I didn't take this day off to be by myself and just veg out I don't what I would be like tonight. Did I do wrong yes but s...	Cathyinaz	5	390	Jul 18, 2014 by milkwood
	I made a promise to myself and I am sticking to it (Preview) I decided a few weeks ago that I would not discuss my AH at work anymore. This morning a coworker bluntly asked me if he and I were getting back together or not. I said "I'm sorry. I can't talk about him at work anymore, it's too distracting. I appreciate your concern. Thanks for asking." I have...	Newlife girl	10	503	Jul 18, 2014 by Breakingfree
	we are only human (Preview) A wonderful lady told me at an al anon meeting something that continues to stick with me - she said "We are only human".... and as simple as that statement is, it really stuck with me because she is so right. Sometimes I feel that because I may get angry or react in ways that I shouldn't with my a...	CarlyM123	4	384	Jul 18, 2014 by PP
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.