Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

deramam · deramam

Whenever my H drink and comes home drunk he cannot keep his hands off me (because I'm so dang beautiful, lol anyways...). I try to tell him no and I always tell him I will not have sex with him when he's drunk but if I don't I feel like if I keep that up he'll go somewhere else. (He doesn't drink every day, he is a...

lookingup · lookingup

I can't seem to help it it's like I've grown such a hatred toward my abf woman he has in his life it wouldn't be so bad if he would only allow me to look at his phone and that he won't let me look at it,for yrs he didn't care if I looked at it he would lay it around the house it didn't matter he told me the other day tha...

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry ah family response to me is "change is hard, you need to move on" doesnt AH have any accountabilty for his actions And bad behaviors. He's cheating second time around,first was an emotional relationship with an active a. second is a recovering a. He was advising and helping both. Th...

Flower49 · Flower49

So I have a situation that came up. I have been feeling really sick since last Thursday. I did see my AH on Sunday and kept the visit really upbeat. I did show him a rash I had developed etc (turned out to be shingles). and then told him I was going to the Dr on Monday. I have a heart condition called SVT which ca...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All this site has been a big part of my recovery in the past, I do not visit as much as I could today as my life is really busy. I am still very active in recovery. For people who may not know me I have been with my partner for 9 years we are engaged. I have been in recovery for 7 years and have done some work on s...

eighteen61 · eighteen61

For a variety of reasons, I'd like to find a french language alanon type of online forum. Je le parle et mon marie ne le parle pas et ensuite je peut parle de la contente de ma couer.

do any of you know of one? I have tried googling, but lets face it, with only about 130M speakers its not surprising ther...

lookingup · lookingup

I got my old phone back from my abf he got him a new phone said he worked it out with someone well I checked my recent call list saw where he had deleted his call list then I went to his all call list and there was her phone number 2x I dunno who called who but he said he ended it with her and blocked her that someone...

lookingup · lookingup

I've enjoyed doing this it was difficult felt awkward at first but as I started writing y list started to grow,I didn't realize that I had all that in me. Thanks for showing me how to do it.

oceanpine · oceanpine

The kids and I left yesterday. After my first post sat night, I lived through such nuttiness because a very long ago boyfriend left me a short voicemail. I told my AH 1000 times that I am not responsible for other peoples behavior but he wanted to make me so. He must have been drinking Sunday morning becau...

Hereandnow · Hereandnow

Short Background : My ABF has not had a drink (that I know of) in about 3 weeks. He didn't stop drinking until I left....I came back after a week. Anyway, before he quit drinking, I was looking at houses, my options. I found a house I could possibly buy. I'm young and don't make a whole lot of money but we have...

kiajoy · kiajoy

I have been with my soon to be ex-husband for 18 1/2 years, and for 17 of those years, I thought we were blissfully happy. However, about 1 1/2 years ago, I noticed he was drinking more and more and not able to moderate. Seven months ago, I received a phone call from a friend telling me that my husband was hi...

dubdub · dubdub

Is there an online meeting/ chat I can attend?. We live rural and I have a small toddler in tow 24-7. Going to face to face meetings is not an option for me. Married 4 years.. Hubby drinks a LOT. Shut out his entire family.. is verbally abusive.. Cookie cutter to a lot of what I have seen here reading through...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I used to think my husband was the person with the problem (sickness). He was the one who needed help. With the help of al-anon and my HP, I am just beginning to understand how sick I was and am. My addiction of trying to control my husband's drinking was as bad as his need to drink. I tried everything (pre...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

You know, for so long I thought I wanted to be that perfect person with the perfect cookie cutter life, I was raised to think that was how we all should be and anything otherwise was wrong and looked down upon. And because of that image I tortured myself and judged myself and my family for not fitting those...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

My AH and I always end up arguing certain points. I wish I didn't feel like i have to defend why I moved out over and over. he always says "You chose to move out when I was actively working a program." Well now, sounds good on his part right?? Here's what really happened. Last November he was in be...

NL14 · NL14

The theme of my F2F meeting this morning was powerlessness. It's a beginners' meeting, so it focuses on the first three steps. I didn't share there because my thoughts were so muddled, but I came away with a new understanding of powerlessness and what it has meant and felt like in my life. I've felt powe...

WWWCJ · WWWCJ

Well, he's downstairs playing a computer game. We got home 20 minutes ago from a two day trip, he disappeared and I thought he was helping to take care of the dogs so I unpacked everything, he didn't show up so I called to see if he was ok (you never know, he could have fallen downstairs and cracked his h...

Sallygcoe · Sallygcoe

Hi all, my AS has finally admitted that he is powerless over his addictions. I can only hope and pray he has found his bottom. He is downstairs this very minute. He says his body is craving alcohol. He asked if he could stay with us tonight so he would not have to be alone. He called a good friend of ours and hi...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I have heard a few people here say they don't have sponsors and can't find one yet. One member even said at a meeting she was told it was too soon to get a sponsor!! I've never heard that kind of response. Is it ever too soon?? So I was wondering if members on this website ever offer to sponsor people through...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I know the importance of f2f meetings. I know I desperately need these meetings. Last night there were only two people, me and one other lady at my al-anon meeting. I have to drive about 25 miles to this town b/c my little home town has no al-anon group. I'm afraid my group is dying. The next closest town is...

starlady1 · starlady1

One year ago to the day, my brother took my 19 year old daughter on a road trip but come to find out, he was high the entire time on meth and verbally and emotionally abused my daughter for 5 whole days. When the two of them arrived back home, my brother told me that my daughter was disobedient and went on this...

lookingup · lookingup

It was like a bomb fell when I actually saw what my sickness was when my abf came home with a new phone and I hadn't a clue of where he got it I only pictured in my mind the worst scenario,but I was wrong but it sent my mind and body into a state of shock ,then in new it I have to back away for my own sanity,i make mys...

lookingup · lookingup

How and what is a gratitude and assets lost and is this something I need to be doing daily as part of my recovery,I need help with this and getting into my recovery,an outline or something for me yo go by everyday will help me to stay on course with my recovery cause I get confused and font know what where or h...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So my girls went up north by their dad for 9 days and in that time he drank twice. Hmmm! The second night they were there he sent my 6 year old to his parents house (Mr king and queen enablers!) so he could go out and drink. My 16 year old was terribly uncomfortable then the next Friday night my 16 year old was he...

CarlyM123 · CarlyM123

So here I am again - just thought I'd update... My partner is now in jail, not sure for how long. We were camping and she got drunk and ran out of smokes and I told her I wasnt going to drive to get more. She ended up stealing my car again and I tried to stop her and ended up getting dragged and got bad road rash. RC...

lookingup · lookingup

Abf is has been haveing bad luck over and over and I'm can't help but wonder if that's part of being a alcoholic/addict,I feel like his refuge,his rescuer,his shelter,his everything how does one handle such situations or is this just part of haveing an a in your life that I will have to deal with.what el...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm been hiding money from my abf by telling him my bank account is broke,I tell him I owed all my money out to my friends in trying to survive,he still hasn't brought any money in and up to oweing me good bit of money but I have put my foot down there,but he eats a lot more now,he maybe smoking pot I dunno,any...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

dick is dead .. opps .. I've probably violated a wording code and I'm really sorry right this second I'm not feeling anything except relief .. I'm not actually talking about my STBAX .. it's my ex step dad. He passed away over the weekend and I feel numb. I lived 7 years of hell with him in the house. It fr...

Robynll · Robynll

I will try to be concise. I need some guidance - I am not sure what is him and what is alcohol. I have been married for 30-something years. My husband has been a drinker the whole time. His mother was an alcoholic and I guess that has consequences. I have been trying to read as much as i can to try and figure o...

Jerry F · Jerry F

daily reader. Mine is very old. The words are still black and highly contrasted. None of them have fallen off the page and I don't know how the other old timers here experience a "read" such as today's on expectations yet let me ask. Do you also hear the voices which sat with you and gent...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Visitation is not going well at all .. I didn't realize how much so until my youngest had a therapy appointment today. Literally I do not see visitation lasting much longer there is to much guilt for the STBAX regarding the kids and regarding me .. he has emotionally checked out on them. He is now insti...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Feeling so overwhelmed today. I forgot my cell phone at work. My older daughter was taking youngest to see her dad, who is my AH. My older daughter has a different dad. She was supposed to call AH around 12. Well, she called him at 11:30 and went to the house. He didn't answer the phone. I called him at 12:15...

Luiza · Luiza

My H was supposed to work late and come home late the night before the wedding. But they have a change in the work and he finished early and came home early instead of going to the bar. The result was that in the following morning, he woke up early and fresh and we all got ready to the wedding normally. I was no...

milkwood · milkwood

Hello MIP family, I just wanted to share some pictures from a lovely five day holiday on the Amalfi coast. I really loved our visit there, very peaceful and yet still buzzing and the way that the buildings cling to the cliffs is extraordinary! So the balcony view is where we had breakfast every mornin...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I've been reading here for a month or so, benefitting from others' experiences and wisdom, trying to understand more. We moved to another state a year ago this week, and the whole year, I thought something was wrong with my H, but I was looking in the wrong places, thinking it was a brain issue, an emotio...

Flower49 · Flower49

I went to a movie this Sunday with my AH. It was the house activity for the week. This time around I told myself repeatedly to keep it light, be positive and upbeat and don't bring up all my hurts, anger, resentments to him again. We had a very good time at the movie. He was excited to share with me some of his p...

Flower49 · Flower49

I just want to give a shout out to everyone who is here. I am making some great strides because of your E/S/H and words of wisdom and affirmations to me. I couldn't do this without all of your help. Thank you and God Bless!

Katy · Katy

So saturday our daughter was coming home to try and see her new nephew, one of the other reasons I have left home is because my husband said he wanted nothing to do with the new grandchild and he was keeping out of it! So saturday I was at work in the morning and tried to keep busy, it's the first time I have not...

In The Forest · In The Forest

My husband had to be driven home by a friend last night. I'm sure he will want me to take him to pick up his car tomorrow. If I drive him to get the car is that enabling? I'm glad he didn't drive drunk. I feel like taking him to get the car is rescuing him. Dealing with this whole issue of drinking and driving or n...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Finally at a place with wifi long enough to check in. It has been wonderful so far. Oslo was beautiful, as was Gothenburg. The cruise has mostly British on board which has been interesting. Nobody is showing up at the AA meetings, but that's ok. Now sitting eating lunch in the town square of Tallinn, Es...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I started out here in the chat room. Been around about 14 years. MIP has been nothing but a HUGE success becuz of John and many, many people. What in the world would make us want to change a wonderful, safe, loving place? If we change we cannot recommend Getting Them Sober, or anything else that THEY do not...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well, I have moved on to attorney number 4 .. we'll see how this goes. She was suppose to call me back last week and did not .. that is concerning to me. I want this DONE. I think she is seeing that a lot of mistakes have been made and that I have been sold down the river so to speak in the advice I have been give...

slowlearner · slowlearner

My husband is a very active alcoholic. But he does hold down a very good job. I've been married to him for 26 years. He drinks from the time he comes home from work til he goes to bed. And on the weekends - Friday night to Sunday night. He has recently started to get sicker, losing weight, no appetite, s...

astallaslions · astallaslions

I don't know what is harder, the fact that he is gone, or the fact that have so much catching up I have to do within my own life. I miss him everyday, and i know the biggest part of it is adjusting to a new routine, but I just hate it so much sometimes. I have to let go of the dreams of children and a home we would bu...

lookingup · lookingup

Now I've got to work this step I feel numb to everything it's like nothing wants to stick with me or sink in .i know that that's all from dealing and being so enmeshed in my abf life.ill be soo glad when my relief comes to me.today my abf is doing good and last nite he came home late but was sober best I could tel...

hotrod · hotrod

Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work. Step 12, has been posted to the step work board. Please share your ESH on the step so we can all grow. Here is the linkhttp://stepwork.activeboard...

lookingup · lookingup

I know I'mousting a lot but I have questions my abf asked to borrow my car and I said yes,he got me off gaurd I had said no this morning that I had no gas his car is on empty,he said he would be right back again I feel like he can talk me into about anything he is still gone said he would be right back it's been over a...

andromeda · andromeda

I had no expectations. His amends were an apology for the silent treatment and withdrawn behaviors. There was still a lot of blame shifting and excuses. At one point he said that he has to chide and tease our son because our son is an only child and doesn't have an older brother who can teach him that pe...

Tasha · Tasha

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

I have been a stay at home mom since our first child was born 10 years ago. Prior to that I had a good job that I enjoyed. It was a big adjustment, staying home, but one that I have come to enjoy. I have treasured the time I am able to spend with my kids. I have also become very involved with a local charity, t...

confused_gf · confused_gf

I have been with my bf going on 3 years next month. I knew when we started that he was an alcoholic but I decided to give it a chance. I was also a drinker but quit a few months after we started dating. My papa just died of alcoholism and my bf's mom died of it too eight years ago. My bf had to watch what it was doing...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

I am done feeling sorry for myself, and allowing myself to take on the same bad attitude about life as my AH. Today I am remembering that I am a warrior of my life, and I will fight for my serenity and peace. I have been through enough situations to know that my HP has always brought me to a place of goodness an...

MissPiggy · MissPiggy

Hi, First time on an AA chat board. My husband likes to drink-he says he likes to drink because it tastes good. Most people I know like to drink but they don't drink everyday. When we were young, we went out to bars and drank and had fun. We've been married 23 years, but the last 5 years my husband has bee...

texasgal · texasgal

I've been in my new apt for a week. The apt turned out very nice it was completely remodeled with brand new fixtures and appliances. I've attended 2 meetings and I have kept in contact daily with my program friends. I start work Monday. Everything is going good. I've been thinking of my soon to be ex ah. I t...

lookingup · lookingup

I just got paid ,abf has no job he has been jobless for mths he had been going and going but no money I'm just finding out the truth of why he had been going a lot the ppl he was running with they were on meth I dunno about all of them but my bf hung with them he has been promising saying he has a job coming up but I don...

ilovecoach · ilovecoach

My first post. Encouraged by my best friend. Hiding from all other friends. And family. We have a quiet midwestern life. College town. Go team! My husband and I were high school sweethearts. We were college athletes. We married. So happy. So easy. 3 kids. Our last with serious health challenges. I sta...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I haven't posted in a few days. I am alone tonight so I thought it was time. My AH just left for the night "to get drunk". I am trying to stay out of it but it still burns me up that he has to leave the house to do this. Thought I would give a little background info on myself. I haven't looked at mys...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I find myself angry at my family and they don't really understand why, some of them don't even know at this point, and while I would really like to find a way to say what is wrong, I doubt my ability to get through to them what exactly my issue is. I live the farthest driving distance from them, I work 6-7 days...

Jville · Jville

I am just now coming out of years of living in denial about my daughter's alcoholism. I am attending AlAnon meetings and will ask for a Sponsor. In the meantime, here I am and asking.....although I can feel the truth of being Powerless... I'm also still holding onto ideas of how I need to control my th...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I love you all and thank you for being here. Because of bad weather, I have missed a couple of my f2f meetings, and b/c of other distractions, I haven't been able to visit here. As a result, I found myself slipping back into some of my distorted thinking. How easy it is to slip back into old habits. I reminde...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Sex with AH (Preview) Whenever my H drink and comes home drunk he cannot keep his hands off me (because I'm so dang beautiful, lol anyways...). I try to tell him no and I always tell him I will not have sex with him when he's drunk but if I don't I feel like if I keep that up he'll go somewhere else. (He doesn't drink every day, he is a...	deramam	19	1106	Aug 7, 2014 by deramam
	Still obsessing (Preview) I can't seem to help it it's like I've grown such a hatred toward my abf woman he has in his life it wouldn't be so bad if he would only allow me to look at his phone and that he won't let me look at it,for yrs he didn't care if I looked at it he would lay it around the house it didn't matter he told me the other day tha...	lookingup	9	710	Aug 7, 2014 by lookingup
	Family accountability (Preview) My dry ah family response to me is "change is hard, you need to move on" doesnt AH have any accountabilty for his actions And bad behaviors. He's cheating second time around,first was an emotional relationship with an active a. second is a recovering a. He was advising and helping both. Th...	Mirandac	12	722	Aug 7, 2014 by Nightwind
	What to do (Preview) So I have a situation that came up. I have been feeling really sick since last Thursday. I did see my AH on Sunday and kept the visit really upbeat. I did show him a rash I had developed etc (turned out to be shingles). and then told him I was going to the Dr on Monday. I have a heart condition called SVT which ca...	Flower49	6	388	Aug 7, 2014 by Nightwind
	test (Preview) Hi All this site has been a big part of my recovery in the past, I do not visit as much as I could today as my life is really busy. I am still very active in recovery. For people who may not know me I have been with my partner for 9 years we are engaged. I have been in recovery for 7 years and have done some work on s...	Tracy	6	735	Aug 7, 2014 by PP
	French Alanon? (Preview) For a variety of reasons, I'd like to find a french language alanon type of online forum. Je le parle et mon marie ne le parle pas et ensuite je peut parle de la contente de ma couer. do any of you know of one? I have tried googling, but lets face it, with only about 130M speakers its not surprising ther...	eighteen61	4	370	Aug 7, 2014 by eighteen61
	Don't know what to do He has been straight not drinking or anything for last few mths.he said he was off of everything I can't help but wonder if that's for her is reason he has quit everything her husband took her back after finding out.yes she i this I found out (Preview) I got my old phone back from my abf he got him a new phone said he worked it out with someone well I checked my recent call list saw where he had deleted his call list then I went to his all call list and there was her phone number 2x I dunno who called who but he said he ended it with her and blocked her that someone...	lookingup	8	761	Aug 6, 2014 by 7th_wave
	Working on me a gratitude and asset list (Preview) I've enjoyed doing this it was difficult felt awkward at first but as I started writing y list started to grow,I didn't realize that I had all that in me. Thanks for showing me how to do it.	lookingup	2	300	Aug 6, 2014 by hotrod
	Flew the coop (Preview) The kids and I left yesterday. After my first post sat night, I lived through such nuttiness because a very long ago boyfriend left me a short voicemail. I told my AH 1000 times that I am not responsible for other peoples behavior but he wanted to make me so. He must have been drinking Sunday morning becau...	oceanpine	7	539	Aug 6, 2014 by abbyalana
	I'm ready for the next step, but I don't know what that is. (Preview) Short Background : My ABF has not had a drink (that I know of) in about 3 weeks. He didn't stop drinking until I left....I came back after a week. Anyway, before he quit drinking, I was looking at houses, my options. I found a house I could possibly buy. I'm young and don't make a whole lot of money but we have...	Hereandnow	14	776	Aug 6, 2014 by Kelly123
	Detachment? (Preview) I have been with my soon to be ex-husband for 18 1/2 years, and for 17 of those years, I thought we were blissfully happy. However, about 1 1/2 years ago, I noticed he was drinking more and more and not able to moderate. Seven months ago, I received a phone call from a friend telling me that my husband was hi...	kiajoy	7	903	Aug 6, 2014 by Kelly123
	Family support meetings - online? (Preview) Is there an online meeting/ chat I can attend?. We live rural and I have a small toddler in tow 24-7. Going to face to face meetings is not an option for me. Married 4 years.. Hubby drinks a LOT. Shut out his entire family.. is verbally abusive.. Cookie cutter to a lot of what I have seen here reading through...	dubdub	9	517	Aug 6, 2014 by hotrod
	My Addiction--My Sickness (Preview) I used to think my husband was the person with the problem (sickness). He was the one who needed help. With the help of al-anon and my HP, I am just beginning to understand how sick I was and am. My addiction of trying to control my husband's drinking was as bad as his need to drink. I tried everything (pre...	cloudyskies	12	622	Aug 6, 2014 by Nightwind
	It's clear now (Preview) You know, for so long I thought I wanted to be that perfect person with the perfect cookie cutter life, I was raised to think that was how we all should be and anything otherwise was wrong and looked down upon. And because of that image I tortured myself and judged myself and my family for not fitting those...	sunrise2014	7	535	Aug 6, 2014 by sunrise2014
	He says one statement that I always argue with...defending myself about why I left (Preview) My AH and I always end up arguing certain points. I wish I didn't feel like i have to defend why I moved out over and over. he always says "You chose to move out when I was actively working a program." Well now, sounds good on his part right?? Here's what really happened. Last November he was in be...	Newlife girl	15	863	Aug 6, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Powerlessness and denial (Preview) The theme of my F2F meeting this morning was powerlessness. It's a beginners' meeting, so it focuses on the first three steps. I didn't share there because my thoughts were so muddled, but I came away with a new understanding of powerlessness and what it has meant and felt like in my life. I've felt powe...	NL14	8	1104	Aug 6, 2014 by NL14
	Feeling like a martyr (Preview) Well, he's downstairs playing a computer game. We got home 20 minutes ago from a two day trip, he disappeared and I thought he was helping to take care of the dogs so I unpacked everything, he didn't show up so I called to see if he was ok (you never know, he could have fallen downstairs and cracked his h...	WWWCJ	8	683	Aug 6, 2014 by WWWCJ
	MY AS has admitted he is powerless over his addictions... Need advise (Preview) Hi all, my AS has finally admitted that he is powerless over his addictions. I can only hope and pray he has found his bottom. He is downstairs this very minute. He says his body is craving alcohol. He asked if he could stay with us tonight so he would not have to be alone. He called a good friend of ours and hi...	Sallygcoe	7	498	Aug 5, 2014 by grateful2be
	Do we have online sponsors here?? (Preview) I have heard a few people here say they don't have sponsors and can't find one yet. One member even said at a meeting she was told it was too soon to get a sponsor!! I've never heard that kind of response. Is it ever too soon?? So I was wondering if members on this website ever offer to sponsor people through...	Newlife girl	10	774	Aug 5, 2014 by grateful2be
	I'm very concerned (Preview) I know the importance of f2f meetings. I know I desperately need these meetings. Last night there were only two people, me and one other lady at my al-anon meeting. I have to drive about 25 miles to this town b/c my little home town has no al-anon group. I'm afraid my group is dying. The next closest town is...	cloudyskies	7	553	Aug 5, 2014 by starlady1
	brother and mom leave me a drunk message. what to do?! (Preview) One year ago to the day, my brother took my 19 year old daughter on a road trip but come to find out, he was high the entire time on meth and verbally and emotionally abused my daughter for 5 whole days. When the two of them arrived back home, my brother told me that my daughter was disobedient and went on this...	starlady1	10	592	Aug 5, 2014 by starlady1
	I can see my sickness (Preview) It was like a bomb fell when I actually saw what my sickness was when my abf came home with a new phone and I hadn't a clue of where he got it I only pictured in my mind the worst scenario,but I was wrong but it sent my mind and body into a state of shock ,then in new it I have to back away for my own sanity,i make mys...	lookingup	3	372	Aug 5, 2014 by hotrod
	Gratitude and assets list? (Preview) How and what is a gratitude and assets lost and is this something I need to be doing daily as part of my recovery,I need help with this and getting into my recovery,an outline or something for me yo go by everyday will help me to stay on course with my recovery cause I get confused and font know what where or h...	lookingup	4	3091	Aug 5, 2014 by hotrod
	My exAH lost the privelege of my kids staying the night by him! (Preview) So my girls went up north by their dad for 9 days and in that time he drank twice. Hmmm! The second night they were there he sent my 6 year old to his parents house (Mr king and queen enablers!) so he could go out and drink. My 16 year old was terribly uncomfortable then the next Friday night my 16 year old was he...	Breakingfree	6	538	Aug 5, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Update- rock bottom? (Preview) So here I am again - just thought I'd update... My partner is now in jail, not sure for how long. We were camping and she got drunk and ran out of smokes and I told her I wasnt going to drive to get more. She ended up stealing my car again and I tried to stop her and ended up getting dragged and got bad road rash. RC...	CarlyM123	8	606	Aug 5, 2014 by milkwood
	Abf bad luck (Preview) Abf is has been haveing bad luck over and over and I'm can't help but wonder if that's part of being a alcoholic/addict,I feel like his refuge,his rescuer,his shelter,his everything how does one handle such situations or is this just part of haveing an a in your life that I will have to deal with.what el...	lookingup	12	738	Aug 5, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Good day yesterday with my freind (Preview) I'm been hiding money from my abf by telling him my bank account is broke,I tell him I owed all my money out to my friends in trying to survive,he still hasn't brought any money in and up to oweing me good bit of money but I have put my foot down there,but he eats a lot more now,he maybe smoking pot I dunno,any...	lookingup	3	345	Aug 5, 2014 by lookingup
	Ding Dong the .. (Preview) dick is dead .. opps .. I've probably violated a wording code and I'm really sorry right this second I'm not feeling anything except relief .. I'm not actually talking about my STBAX .. it's my ex step dad. He passed away over the weekend and I feel numb. I lived 7 years of hell with him in the house. It fr...	SerenityRUS	6	523	Aug 5, 2014 by andromeda
	First post - need guidance (Preview) I will try to be concise. I need some guidance - I am not sure what is him and what is alcohol. I have been married for 30-something years. My husband has been a drinker the whole time. His mother was an alcoholic and I guess that has consequences. I have been trying to read as much as i can to try and figure o...	Robynll	7	543	Aug 5, 2014 by grateful2be
	The ODAAT (Preview) daily reader. Mine is very old. The words are still black and highly contrasted. None of them have fallen off the page and I don't know how the other old timers here experience a "read" such as today's on expectations yet let me ask. Do you also hear the voices which sat with you and gent...	Jerry F	8	955	Aug 5, 2014 by PP
	Perspectives please .. (Preview) Visitation is not going well at all .. I didn't realize how much so until my youngest had a therapy appointment today. Literally I do not see visitation lasting much longer there is to much guilt for the STBAX regarding the kids and regarding me .. he has emotionally checked out on them. He is now insti...	SerenityRUS	10	529	Aug 5, 2014 by Debilyn
	My crazy day...so overwhelmed...need ESH...again (Preview) Feeling so overwhelmed today. I forgot my cell phone at work. My older daughter was taking youngest to see her dad, who is my AH. My older daughter has a different dad. She was supposed to call AH around 12. Well, she called him at 11:30 and went to the house. He didn't answer the phone. I called him at 12:15...	Newlife girl	7	576	Aug 4, 2014 by Newlife girl
	So, we went to that wedding... (Preview) My H was supposed to work late and come home late the night before the wedding. But they have a change in the work and he finished early and came home early instead of going to the bar. The result was that in the following morning, he woke up early and fresh and we all got ready to the wedding normally. I was no...	Luiza	9	612	Aug 4, 2014 by Luiza
	Sharing some good times (Preview) Hello MIP family, I just wanted to share some pictures from a lovely five day holiday on the Amalfi coast. I really loved our visit there, very peaceful and yet still buzzing and the way that the buildings cling to the cliffs is extraordinary! So the balcony view is where we had breakfast every mornin...	milkwood	5	409	Aug 4, 2014 by milkwood
	first post, need courage (Preview) I've been reading here for a month or so, benefitting from others' experiences and wisdom, trying to understand more. We moved to another state a year ago this week, and the whole year, I thought something was wrong with my H, but I was looking in the wrong places, thinking it was a brain issue, an emotio...	oceanpine	15	695	Aug 4, 2014 by Jerry F
	Attitude (Preview) I went to a movie this Sunday with my AH. It was the house activity for the week. This time around I told myself repeatedly to keep it light, be positive and upbeat and don't bring up all my hurts, anger, resentments to him again. We had a very good time at the movie. He was excited to share with me some of his p...	Flower49	4	296	Aug 4, 2014 by PP
	Gratitude (Preview) I just want to give a shout out to everyone who is here. I am making some great strides because of your E/S/H and words of wisdom and affirmations to me. I couldn't do this without all of your help. Thank you and God Bless!	Flower49	4	265	Aug 4, 2014 by PP
	Mip! (Preview) So saturday our daughter was coming home to try and see her new nephew, one of the other reasons I have left home is because my husband said he wanted nothing to do with the new grandchild and he was keeping out of it! So saturday I was at work in the morning and tried to keep busy, it's the first time I have not...	Katy	4	328	Aug 4, 2014 by hotrod
	Picking Up The Car The Next Day (Preview) My husband had to be driven home by a friend last night. I'm sure he will want me to take him to pick up his car tomorrow. If I drive him to get the car is that enabling? I'm glad he didn't drive drunk. I feel like taking him to get the car is rescuing him. Dealing with this whole issue of drinking and driving or n...	In The Forest	13	610	Aug 4, 2014 by starlady1
	Honeymoon Update (Preview) Finally at a place with wifi long enough to check in. It has been wonderful so far. Oslo was beautiful, as was Gothenburg. The cruise has mostly British on board which has been interesting. Nobody is showing up at the AA meetings, but that's ok. Now sitting eating lunch in the town square of Tallinn, Es...	pinkchip	23	862	Aug 4, 2014 by grateful2be
	My feelings on MIP change (Preview) I started out here in the chat room. Been around about 14 years. MIP has been nothing but a HUGE success becuz of John and many, many people. What in the world would make us want to change a wonderful, safe, loving place? If we change we cannot recommend Getting Them Sober, or anything else that THEY do not...	Debilyn	26	1186	Aug 4, 2014 by el-cee
	Atty #4 (Preview) Well, I have moved on to attorney number 4 .. we'll see how this goes. She was suppose to call me back last week and did not .. that is concerning to me. I want this DONE. I think she is seeing that a lot of mistakes have been made and that I have been sold down the river so to speak in the advice I have been give...	SerenityRUS	6	517	Aug 4, 2014 by bud
	My children back my AH need advice. (Preview) My husband is a very active alcoholic. But he does hold down a very good job. I've been married to him for 26 years. He drinks from the time he comes home from work til he goes to bed. And on the weekends - Friday night to Sunday night. He has recently started to get sicker, losing weight, no appetite, s...	slowlearner	8	589	Aug 3, 2014 by Newlife girl
	leaving my a/ breaking up (Preview) I don't know what is harder, the fact that he is gone, or the fact that have so much catching up I have to do within my own life. I miss him everyday, and i know the biggest part of it is adjusting to a new routine, but I just hate it so much sometimes. I have to let go of the dreams of children and a home we would bu...	astallaslions	11	621	Aug 3, 2014 by sunrise2014
	Step 2 ....HOPE-come to believe that the power of god can restore me to complete spiritual health. (Preview) Now I've got to work this step I feel numb to everything it's like nothing wants to stick with me or sink in .i know that that's all from dealing and being so enmeshed in my abf life.ill be soo glad when my relief comes to me.today my abf is doing good and last nite he came home late but was sober best I could tel...	lookingup	3	454	Aug 3, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Step 12 (Preview) Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work. Step 12, has been posted to the step work board. Please share your ESH on the step so we can all grow. Here is the linkhttp://stepwork.activeboard...	hotrod	0	302	Aug 3, 2014 by hotrod
	Did I do the right thing? (Preview) I know I'mousting a lot but I have questions my abf asked to borrow my car and I said yes,he got me off gaurd I had said no this morning that I had no gas his car is on empty,he said he would be right back again I feel like he can talk me into about anything he is still gone said he would be right back it's been over a...	lookingup	6	460	Aug 3, 2014 by Jerry F
	RAH made his amends this AM (Preview) I had no expectations. His amends were an apology for the silent treatment and withdrawn behaviors. There was still a lot of blame shifting and excuses. At one point he said that he has to chide and tease our son because our son is an only child and doesn't have an older brother who can teach him that pe...	andromeda	7	772	Aug 3, 2014 by Jerry F
	Betty! (Preview)	Tasha	20	617	Aug 3, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Huge Step (Preview) I have been a stay at home mom since our first child was born 10 years ago. Prior to that I had a good job that I enjoyed. It was a big adjustment, staying home, but one that I have come to enjoy. I have treasured the time I am able to spend with my kids. I have also become very involved with a local charity, t...	Tossed Salad	9	433	Aug 3, 2014 by blessed
	What should I do? (Preview) I have been with my bf going on 3 years next month. I knew when we started that he was an alcoholic but I decided to give it a chance. I was also a drinker but quit a few months after we started dating. My papa just died of alcoholism and my bf's mom died of it too eight years ago. My bf had to watch what it was doing...	confused_gf	2	413	Aug 3, 2014 by hotrod
	I'm a Warrior (Preview) I am done feeling sorry for myself, and allowing myself to take on the same bad attitude about life as my AH. Today I am remembering that I am a warrior of my life, and I will fight for my serenity and peace. I have been through enough situations to know that my HP has always brought me to a place of goodness an...	sunrise2014	6	442	Aug 3, 2014 by el-cee
	Is my husband an alcoholic? I don't know, Maybe you can help me figure it out (Preview) Hi, First time on an AA chat board. My husband likes to drink-he says he likes to drink because it tastes good. Most people I know like to drink but they don't drink everyday. When we were young, we went out to bars and drank and had fun. We've been married 23 years, but the last 5 years my husband has bee...	MissPiggy	3	491	Aug 3, 2014 by cloudyskies
	New city (Preview) I've been in my new apt for a week. The apt turned out very nice it was completely remodeled with brand new fixtures and appliances. I've attended 2 meetings and I have kept in contact daily with my program friends. I start work Monday. Everything is going good. I've been thinking of my soon to be ex ah. I t...	texasgal	8	460	Aug 3, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Feeling stupid (Preview) I just got paid ,abf has no job he has been jobless for mths he had been going and going but no money I'm just finding out the truth of why he had been going a lot the ppl he was running with they were on meth I dunno about all of them but my bf hung with them he has been promising saying he has a job coming up but I don...	lookingup	7	527	Aug 3, 2014 by grateful2be
	Functioning Alcoholic (Preview) My first post. Encouraged by my best friend. Hiding from all other friends. And family. We have a quiet midwestern life. College town. Go team! My husband and I were high school sweethearts. We were college athletes. We married. So happy. So easy. 3 kids. Our last with serious health challenges. I sta...	ilovecoach	11	766	Aug 3, 2014 by grateful2be
	Checking in (Preview) I haven't posted in a few days. I am alone tonight so I thought it was time. My AH just left for the night "to get drunk". I am trying to stay out of it but it still burns me up that he has to leave the house to do this. Thought I would give a little background info on myself. I haven't looked at mys...	Hullibee	5	528	Aug 3, 2014 by hotrod
	Not really Al-anon related, family related .... (Preview) I find myself angry at my family and they don't really understand why, some of them don't even know at this point, and while I would really like to find a way to say what is wrong, I doubt my ability to get through to them what exactly my issue is. I live the farthest driving distance from them, I work 6-7 days...	likemyheart	9	465	Aug 2, 2014 by bud
	The Dance of Surrender....One Step Forward....Two Steps Back....Or am i just going in circles? (Preview) I am just now coming out of years of living in denial about my daughter's alcoholism. I am attending AlAnon meetings and will ask for a Sponsor. In the meantime, here I am and asking.....although I can feel the truth of being Powerless... I'm also still holding onto ideas of how I need to control my th...	Jville	7	588	Aug 2, 2014 by el-cee
	Just wanted to say... . (Preview) I love you all and thank you for being here. Because of bad weather, I have missed a couple of my f2f meetings, and b/c of other distractions, I haven't been able to visit here. As a result, I found myself slipping back into some of my distorted thinking. How easy it is to slip back into old habits. I reminde...	cloudyskies	7	626	Aug 2, 2014 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.