Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Diva · Diva

"Trouble is, we get crushed and they can often bounce right back up to start the madness all over again" If ever a sentence were true, it's this one. I lived with this nonsense for 13 years. Diva -- Edited by Diva on Saturday 6th of September 2014 11:17:40 AM

KRae · KRae

I am losing hope more and more of any chance of a happy ending with my alcoholic boyfriend. He Once Had 7 years sober and now relapsed 2 years ago. His anger, lies, verbal lashing and deceitfulness are getting worse every day. Does anyone have a story of their alcoholic getting better? Of trust bein...

Yazzymedo86 · Yazzymedo86

My husband was in a recovery program for 3 months. We live outside of the states right now so here they offer work for those who have completed 3 months in the location. Anyway, my husband goes for 8 days and comes for 3 days home. 3 days ago he said he got in an argument with someone lost his temper and decid...

el-cee · el-cee

Hope was the topic at my meeting this week and it was the first thing I got in alanon, as soon as I heard people say the word alcoholism. Its funny I lived with it for almost 20 years and noone ever said the words. To hear them used openly gave me hope because it was the first move away from the denial that I knew...

lookingup · lookingup

Bf called me he sounded like he might be sick he just asked if I was ready to exchange our stuff but I'm no longer needing the things he got of mine and what I'm holding of his id planned on selling it to at least get some of my money back,I did ask him where he was staying at he said here and there.so I told him not...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

When I'm at an Al-Anon Adult Child meeting, am I allowed to mention smoking or over-eating as a symptom of my adult child issues? If you have an answer would you please back it up with literature if possible? I haven't done this, but in would like to know the truth so I don't break Traditions.

Mattie · Mattie

Being a single parent is a high-wire act, especially with a demanding job that requires a good deal of travel. Until recently I had relatives in town, but now after a crisis of their own, they have moved away, so I am lacking one more piece of back-up. A low-paying, high-travel job - not a good combinat...

JustJill · JustJill

Hello. Have not been here in a while. Going on ten years with ABF. Here is the new dilemma. He has a son that comes over other weekend to stay with us, he is 15. It is my house and my cabin and abf lives with me. Last weekend was the long holiday weekend. He picks up son, picks up me and we go to my lake home. My da...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Why are 3 day weekends so short and 4 day work weeks soooo long? LOL? I'm just exhausted at the moment and all of us have been battling some form of illness. I think we are all mostly on the mend. Tomorrow night I am the Alanon speaker for a birthday meeting and that is pretty exciting. I have a vague idea...

Cat lady · Cat lady

I'm sure no matter how I try to keep this short, I'll still go on and on. I apologize and thank you for your patience. I've been married 12 years and have 3 amazing boys. My spouse denies an alcohol problem since he doesn't drink to the point of blacking out regularly. He does, however, hide his drink...

milkwood · milkwood

Our couples counsellor is advising that I simply draw a line and that AH and I need to start afresh without looking back. I'm finding that line difficult to draw. She is encouraging us to be (gently) physically intimate but much as I enjoy the contact I also feel resentments rising in me because we are...

el-cee · el-cee

Im beginning to notice some walls I have built up that I thought I had knocked down, maybe I did but some of them seem to be back. I have walls around me in most aspects of my life. In relationships, I can go so far but cant fully commit mentally, cant quite accept the full person, warts and all into my life. In...

Flower49 · Flower49

Today I am just sick and tired of hearing repeatedly that I have to be patient, understanding, caring to my AH and his needs. He once again this week did not progress from his 4th step onto his 5th. He is now 4 months in at the house and is the only one that hasn't move forward. I have heard from him that is was b...

midnightskies · midnightskies

I religiously went to Al-Anon about 7-8 years ago and stopped going after a few years, not because I thought I was well or cured, but because I started a business with my qualifier. I no longer "had time" to attend meetings because our little business started to flourish and grow. I realiz...

lookingup · lookingup

I haven't heard from bf in 4 days not a word ,he sure is staying low not that I want to see him but I do tend to over exaggerate and my imaginations can go hay wire a lot I may be crazy ,but I do kinda like to know what's up with him or where's he staying and working .mainly I wonder if he is ok.i got my bus. Done today...

blessed · blessed

This has been a week of driving, driving and more driving. Thursday we drove from N. Virginia to S. Atlanta (9 hours). We hung out here a few days and then headed to Florida (5-6 hours). And we had perfecet weather and no traffic delays. Praise God. We did see a very bad accident (in the opposite lanes) whe...

NL14 · NL14

Hi all, I've been away from the board for a couple of weeks while on vacation. And things have been pretty good. After a very rough July, my AH was much better in August, drinking very little, trying to take better care of himself, etc., and we really had no conflict. I've been taking better care of myself...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Interesting discussion in class today. I'm so loving it; I love the people, I love where it is taking my career plans, I love what I am learning, I love feeling energetic, wanting to be up early, it's all so positive. As much as it was an unexpected career shift for me, I feel really good about where I am at a...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Went to a meeting this morning. It was sad and depressing. This is my home group...but I have decided it no longer fits me. People do not have a lot of recovery and I find it sad and it brings me down. People come in really late and today 3 or 4 people left early. I found it annoying and disturbing. Plus theres...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

It's only been a few days since we lost my bf's mom. Yesterday he phone one of his kids to see how they were doing and was told they and the other grandkids were going next week to clean out the grandmother's home. They said they wanted to help. It seems they got the ok to do this from bf's sibling. Meanwh...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I made a list of why my dry ah and i are getting divorced. It is not pretty. I put it on my ipad so i can read it as often as i need to. I have been in a lot of emotional pain and crying often. My head has been spinning, someone on a divorce forum mentioned writing a list to reread when we needed a reality check of wh...

Jerry F · Jerry F

For me, for certain...there is. Yesterday I almost killed Eugene. Not intentionally, just by that weird process of circumstances...lots of them. What happened? A manager of the hotel that I contract to asked me to do an "extra"...cutting back tree branches which were too close...

Mattie · Mattie

In some ways it's worse having an A who's a binge drinker. (Of course, there are no good ways for a drinking A to be, so all the ways are "worse.") But what I mean is that I get in a routine of expecting him to be sober, because it's been that way for X many months or years, and then I get more blinds...

lookingup · lookingup

I put new deadbolts on both my doors for safety,I've had to stay here day in day out cause bf took my extra house key and wouldn't give it back to me.so I'm now sitting here waiting for a person to come put my new ones on,what a week this has. been I'm feel drained everyday trying to keep everything together h...

lookingup · lookingup

I would t know who to call if he should showed up,that's a scary thought cause he will show up sooner or later.i don't know what to expect out of him.but I did get my dead bolts on my doors thank goodness that took a load off of me.feeling peaceful

lookingup · lookingup

Tonight's topic was on how to let go of resentments which hit home for me, cause I so resent allowing my abf come back into my home only to make things worse and then kicking him out again that I resent I should've never let him back in my house i have a hatred toward him and i hurt also for all that I've allowed...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Page of the day; ODAAT; September 3rd....247...."If you cannot make yourself what you would like to be, how can you expect to have another person exactly to your wishes? We want to see others perfect, yet our own faults go unattended. Done...can't say anything better to myself. Working i...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Feeling crazier than ever lately. Emotions are all over the place. I guess I am just a weak, fragile person. Last week AH and I were arguing about the house situation. I made a decision and he didn't like it. Then we were being civil. Then we went out to dinner with our daughter. The next thing I know...he w...

lvngsobr · lvngsobr

Hello, I am new to Al-Anon, but not new to recovery. I have been in AA for a little over a year and a half. I work a program, go to meetings, have a sponsor, work the steps, etc. I started dating a fellow AA member about 8 months ago. If I didn't qualify for Al-Anon before, then I definitely do now. We've alread...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, just been to a meeting topic was step three. wow I have been handing my will and life over ad really meaning it of late. I do not want to be insane doing things over and over that I know do not work I have learnt this the hard way. Peace is in Gods will I may not see it today but he can see round corners I rea...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

He is actually my step-grandfather. He has started drinking a lot in the past 5 years according to my mom. She tells me about crazy stuff he does. He is 92 years old and just had his birthday. I am not as close to him as my cousin is. So my cousin lives 9 hrs away from us. She called my grandfather on his birthda...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

There's not an anniversary card that says "I'm only still with you as I can't trust you not to harm the kids on visitation". Was our anniversary today, surprised at my emotions - we haven't been more than co parents for months now and thought I had come to terms with it but found myself so overw...

joker · joker

Its been another week with the abf. He has been sober for 5 days now and decided he is going to go for a beer at the local pub but not get drunk. What insane lies. I decided I would not be near him while he is drinking. I came back to my apartment. On Saturday, I went camping without him as he did not want to be arou...

stephaniej · stephaniej

It has been a long while since I have posted here. I hope you are well and working your own recoveries. There are big changes underway on my end. My AH, who spent a year working out of state, returned home for good in early July, and has been working locally. His drinking and behavior is spiraling, and...

jessbuddy0014 · jessbuddy0014

I posted last night a brief introduction about myself... As I'm reading other posts, I see that many people here are currently dealing with the A in their daily lives. That is not the case for me... So I was curious, who else out there is working the program but is not currently dealing with the A? Who is ex...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I loved jillybean's post, so I thought I'd use it as a spring board. Well, I have begun working on step 4. I took a piece of paper and divided it in halves. On one side I put a smiley face and on the other side I put a frowny face. On my happy face side, I began listing all the characteristics that I like about m...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

hi all, been busy but wanted to share this interesting story. so....I was in a really bad mood so I decided to go off and have my own little "poor me" party and sit and sulk by myself for awhile. Well I got bored with that pretty quick so I read the newspaper and it was an article about Ro...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I didn't know Al-anon was on Facebook... https://www.facebook.com/AlAnonFamilyGroupsWSO PS....Twitter https://twitter.com/AlAnon_WSO -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Sunday 31st of August 2014 04:03:37 PM

andromeda · andromeda

And, I'm ok! My AH stopped going to meetings 2 weeks ago. I had a feeling that this would happen so I'm not surprised. Working on acceptance today and knowing that this is his choice and I can't control it. Honestly, I am truly ok and ready for whatever God has planned for me at this point.

KRae · KRae

I have been in a relationship for over 9 years... 7 of those years he was sober and he relapsed almost 2 years ago. He has been binge drinking basically every month that i know of but i suspect much more. Most recently we have had arguements about money. He heas not been able to maintain stable employment s...

Luiza · Luiza

Whilst I was on my vacation, I did everything I could to retain serenity. Despite the drama, I made a point to have fun and enjoy myself as much as I could. It worked. If wasn't for Al-Anon I would have had an awful time. Coming back home, my H thought everything was fine and he was acting as though we were th...

FallenAngel · FallenAngel

I was told by the Nurse in the hospital the day I lost my Dad, that it would be good for me to share my story... So here I am, openly speaking about my pain for the first time. On May 5, 2014 my father lost his battle with Alcoholism. In 2006, when I was 17, my parents divorced, this was the start of everything...

el-cee · el-cee

I read about a young girl who was 24 when she died from alcoholism, her mother made her story public here in the uk a couple of years ago. She had serious liver disease, a huge stomach, couldnt walk due to swollen legs, was bright yellow, yet, she still signed out of the hospital to go and drink. She done thi...

jessbuddy0014 · jessbuddy0014

Hi, everyone... My name is Jessie. I am fresh to Al-Anon. My therapist suggested that I give it a try, given the type of childhood I had. So, I finally went to a meeting. What a eye-opening experience! It was crazy to hear people sharing the same kinds of thoughts that I had, feeling the same feelings I had...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have had some time to mull over the recent chaos that has crept back into my head. I have had some interesting revelations. I read a good deal of inspirational thoughts and slogans this morning. I like to read them as though they just apply to me (the wife of an Alcoholic). It certainly helps me (and us as...

slowlearner · slowlearner

After coming here and going to meetings I realize that my AH does love me but is almost always incapable of being a loving person because he's drunk. He doesn't remember alot of things, conversations, family events etc because he drunk. He tries to cover it up but I can see through it. He's so absorb...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have been in a funk for quite a few days. Part of me thinks that I am failing because I am comfortable here in this funk. Today, I had a change of heart. I feel like I need to be alone (luckily i am lol). I looked on Pinterest for some inspirational thoughts and found many. I finally semi forced myself to tidy...

Problems with fellow member · Zeroh

I've been attending Alanon meetings for nearly three years now; spent several years in CoDA before that - which helped enormously, but then for various reasons I realised that Alanon was where I needed to be. I have no problem with the notion of a HP, and revived my own spiritual faith about 10 years ago...

Jerry F · Jerry F

for this. Reading this morning from out literature to calm my spirit and then my mind and emotions and then my body follows with relaxation. I can continue my day now in a more balanced rhythm and pace. This is what Thomas told me. "Why are thou troubled because things do not succeed with th...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I always find that sharing with you all helps me to clarify my thoughts and I always feel better afterwards. My mind is reeling again. I had moved to my own place, have found a happy life for myself, its only been a few months. I still love my AH, very much. He has asked me to come see him, and I did. It was good....

New Member · stepsinthesand

Hello all, I am happy to find the Alanon Family Groups boards, thanks to a friend of mine who is goes to the narcanon forums. I wanted to introduce myself and look forward to joining your community. I am retired and have been married for 23 years. I have two step kids who are both grown and (also have...

Holding on · Holding on

I know what i did was right but having a rough time. Why is it that i feel like i did something wrong? And why do i keep thinking he will get better? Its insane i know. He makes me think i am crazy. i feel like i have lost myself. Do they even realize the part they played in destroying the relationship? So confu...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm grateful 1st and foremost for a loveing Heavenly Father that's blessed me with 2 beautiful kids that are both successful in life,I'm also grateful for this board that I can always come here to vent or tell whatever's on my mind this board is like a diary to me I've aired everything I can think of,I'm g...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Hi everyone. I know i keep playing the same sad song, but it helps me to verbalize my pain I am in. I continue to sit back in amazement really. My AH continues to sit in our house and not pay the mortgage. I have to pay rent so I cant pay the mortgage either. He says he will get a job. He hasnt worked in 8 months. I a...

lookingup · lookingup

I've been reading every bodies posts on here and seems to lean mostly toward the a and relationship issues today,I'm currently Still with my abf as most knows,I'm so waiting on my FTf meetings which I get to begin next mon.i so need my meetings and to find me a sponsor to help me with my step work ever si...

Tash2 · Tash2

Hi all aplologies that this post is not strictly al annon related, but with an AH at home, don't know who else to share with. AH been much better lately, has some control of his drinking (tho I am aware that probably won't last) & we have been enjoying each others company & I've been working my pro...

Diva · Diva

Thank you both for posts to me, both of which were inspired, hit the mark exactly, and gave me reason to reassess. Not only these two, I appreciate ALL your replies. Thank you thank you all for understanding, patience, and love. Diva

Debilyn · Debilyn

Went to lunch with my two wonderful dingy long time friends. Then the said ok we are going to see if R is still alive. Found the apt. not home, but this wonderful gal neighbor was only too happy to fill us in. Sadly the older lady he lived with died. So he has been alone there since last october. He must have go...

Diva · Diva

I brought him a meal when I went out to lunch as I do every day. I could smell it the moment I entered his apartment. Diarrhea all over the carpets, and a mostly finished large bottle of Listerine mouth wash. Why do I torture myself that way? Now I feel just a bit guilty because I have no intention of call...

grateful2be · grateful2be

As my Dad's 86th birthday approaches, I remember him as a man in his 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s. I remember that his father who died at 46, left my grandmother to raise 5 kids during the depression while he lived with his mother and impregnated another woman and took care only of their son. They we...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	grateful2be said this: (Preview) "Trouble is, we get crushed and they can often bounce right back up to start the madness all over again" If ever a sentence were true, it's this one. I lived with this nonsense for 13 years. Diva -- Edited by Diva on Saturday 6th of September 2014 11:17:40 AM	Diva	3	285	Sep 6, 2014 by blessed
	any one have a happy ending? (Preview) I am losing hope more and more of any chance of a happy ending with my alcoholic boyfriend. He Once Had 7 years sober and now relapsed 2 years ago. His anger, lies, verbal lashing and deceitfulness are getting worse every day. Does anyone have a story of their alcoholic getting better? Of trust bein...	KRae	7	628	Sep 6, 2014 by blessed
	I need advice please before I go nuts! :( :( please (Preview) My husband was in a recovery program for 3 months. We live outside of the states right now so here they offer work for those who have completed 3 months in the location. Anyway, my husband goes for 8 days and comes for 3 days home. 3 days ago he said he got in an argument with someone lost his temper and decid...	Yazzymedo86	19	704	Sep 6, 2014 by grateful2be
	hope (Preview) Hope was the topic at my meeting this week and it was the first thing I got in alanon, as soon as I heard people say the word alcoholism. Its funny I lived with it for almost 20 years and noone ever said the words. To hear them used openly gave me hope because it was the first move away from the denial that I knew...	el-cee	6	422	Sep 5, 2014 by hotrod
	Bf calls (Preview) Bf called me he sounded like he might be sick he just asked if I was ready to exchange our stuff but I'm no longer needing the things he got of mine and what I'm holding of his id planned on selling it to at least get some of my money back,I did ask him where he was staying at he said here and there.so I told him not...	lookingup	5	336	Sep 5, 2014 by hotrod
	General Question About Al-Anon (Preview) When I'm at an Al-Anon Adult Child meeting, am I allowed to mention smoking or over-eating as a symptom of my adult child issues? If you have an answer would you please back it up with literature if possible? I haven't done this, but in would like to know the truth so I don't break Traditions.	WorkingThroughIt	3	405	Sep 5, 2014 by hotrod
	Dilemmas (Preview) Being a single parent is a high-wire act, especially with a demanding job that requires a good deal of travel. Until recently I had relatives in town, but now after a crisis of their own, they have moved away, so I am lacking one more piece of back-up. A low-paying, high-travel job - not a good combinat...	Mattie	5	439	Sep 5, 2014 by PP
	ABf drinks in the am (Preview) Hello. Have not been here in a while. Going on ten years with ABF. Here is the new dilemma. He has a son that comes over other weekend to stay with us, he is 15. It is my house and my cabin and abf lives with me. Last weekend was the long holiday weekend. He picks up son, picks up me and we go to my lake home. My da...	JustJill	6	563	Sep 5, 2014 by pinkchip
	Long Week .. (Preview) Why are 3 day weekends so short and 4 day work weeks soooo long? LOL? I'm just exhausted at the moment and all of us have been battling some form of illness. I think we are all mostly on the mend. Tomorrow night I am the Alanon speaker for a birthday meeting and that is pretty exciting. I have a vague idea...	SerenityRUS	2	436	Sep 5, 2014 by Jerry F
	Hi, I'm new (Preview) I'm sure no matter how I try to keep this short, I'll still go on and on. I apologize and thank you for your patience. I've been married 12 years and have 3 amazing boys. My spouse denies an alcohol problem since he doesn't drink to the point of blacking out regularly. He does, however, hide his drink...	Cat lady	17	668	Sep 5, 2014 by Jerry F
	Perceptions of the past getting in the way... (Preview) Our couples counsellor is advising that I simply draw a line and that AH and I need to start afresh without looking back. I'm finding that line difficult to draw. She is encouraging us to be (gently) physically intimate but much as I enjoy the contact I also feel resentments rising in me because we are...	milkwood	11	460	Sep 4, 2014 by PP
	walls (Preview) Im beginning to notice some walls I have built up that I thought I had knocked down, maybe I did but some of them seem to be back. I have walls around me in most aspects of my life. In relationships, I can go so far but cant fully commit mentally, cant quite accept the full person, warts and all into my life. In...	el-cee	9	505	Sep 4, 2014 by NL14
	Tired of Recovery (Preview) Today I am just sick and tired of hearing repeatedly that I have to be patient, understanding, caring to my AH and his needs. He once again this week did not progress from his 4th step onto his 5th. He is now 4 months in at the house and is the only one that hasn't move forward. I have heard from him that is was b...	Flower49	16	621	Sep 4, 2014 by Aloha
	New on the board...not to Al-Anon (Preview) I religiously went to Al-Anon about 7-8 years ago and stopped going after a few years, not because I thought I was well or cured, but because I started a business with my qualifier. I no longer "had time" to attend meetings because our little business started to flourish and grow. I realiz...	midnightskies	13	346	Sep 4, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Am I just letting my imaginations run wild? (Preview) I haven't heard from bf in 4 days not a word ,he sure is staying low not that I want to see him but I do tend to over exaggerate and my imaginations can go hay wire a lot I may be crazy ,but I do kinda like to know what's up with him or where's he staying and working .mainly I wonder if he is ok.i got my bus. Done today...	lookingup	9	470	Sep 4, 2014 by PP
	Update (Preview) This has been a week of driving, driving and more driving. Thursday we drove from N. Virginia to S. Atlanta (9 hours). We hung out here a few days and then headed to Florida (5-6 hours). And we had perfecet weather and no traffic delays. Praise God. We did see a very bad accident (in the opposite lanes) whe...	blessed	8	495	Sep 4, 2014 by PP
	$500 + $500 = zero (Preview) Hi all, I've been away from the board for a couple of weeks while on vacation. And things have been pretty good. After a very rough July, my AH was much better in August, drinking very little, trying to take better care of himself, etc., and we really had no conflict. I've been taking better care of myself...	NL14	4	554	Sep 4, 2014 by NL14
	She drives him to drink... (Preview) Interesting discussion in class today. I'm so loving it; I love the people, I love where it is taking my career plans, I love what I am learning, I love feeling energetic, wanting to be up early, it's all so positive. As much as it was an unexpected career shift for me, I feel really good about where I am at a...	missmeliss	20	708	Sep 4, 2014 by grateful2be
	Today was not fun (Preview) Went to a meeting this morning. It was sad and depressing. This is my home group...but I have decided it no longer fits me. People do not have a lot of recovery and I find it sad and it brings me down. People come in really late and today 3 or 4 people left early. I found it annoying and disturbing. Plus theres...	Newlife girl	8	443	Sep 4, 2014 by Debilyn
	Any Info would be helpful dealing with what's next (Preview) It's only been a few days since we lost my bf's mom. Yesterday he phone one of his kids to see how they were doing and was told they and the other grandkids were going next week to clean out the grandmother's home. They said they wanted to help. It seems they got the ok to do this from bf's sibling. Meanwh...	tiredtonite	17	881	Sep 4, 2014 by grateful2be
	Made a divorce list (Preview) I made a list of why my dry ah and i are getting divorced. It is not pretty. I put it on my ipad so i can read it as often as i need to. I have been in a lot of emotional pain and crying often. My head has been spinning, someone on a divorce forum mentioned writing a list to reread when we needed a reality check of wh...	Mirandac	15	639	Sep 3, 2014 by Mirandac
	Is there a Higher Power? (Preview) For me, for certain...there is. Yesterday I almost killed Eugene. Not intentionally, just by that weird process of circumstances...lots of them. What happened? A manager of the hotel that I contract to asked me to do an "extra"...cutting back tree branches which were too close...	Jerry F	11	399	Sep 3, 2014 by grateful2be
	This train leads to CrazyTown (Preview) In some ways it's worse having an A who's a binge drinker. (Of course, there are no good ways for a drinking A to be, so all the ways are "worse.") But what I mean is that I get in a routine of expecting him to be sober, because it's been that way for X many months or years, and then I get more blinds...	Mattie	7	518	Sep 3, 2014 by bud
	Got new locks (Preview) I put new deadbolts on both my doors for safety,I've had to stay here day in day out cause bf took my extra house key and wouldn't give it back to me.so I'm now sitting here waiting for a person to come put my new ones on,what a week this has. been I'm feel drained everyday trying to keep everything together h...	lookingup	5	278	Sep 3, 2014 by hotrod
	Who to call? (Preview) I would t know who to call if he should showed up,that's a scary thought cause he will show up sooner or later.i don't know what to expect out of him.but I did get my dead bolts on my doors thank goodness that took a load off of me.feeling peaceful	lookingup	1	232	Sep 3, 2014 by hotrod
	Resentments (Preview) Tonight's topic was on how to let go of resentments which hit home for me, cause I so resent allowing my abf come back into my home only to make things worse and then kicking him out again that I resent I should've never let him back in my house i have a hatred toward him and i hurt also for all that I've allowed...	lookingup	4	303	Sep 3, 2014 by el-cee
	Mr. Thomas A`Kempis does it again. (Preview) Page of the day; ODAAT; September 3rd....247...."If you cannot make yourself what you would like to be, how can you expect to have another person exactly to your wishes? We want to see others perfect, yet our own faults go unattended. Done...can't say anything better to myself. Working i...	Jerry F	4	439	Sep 3, 2014 by el-cee
	The Crazy Relationship Dance (Preview) Feeling crazier than ever lately. Emotions are all over the place. I guess I am just a weak, fragile person. Last week AH and I were arguing about the house situation. I made a decision and he didn't like it. Then we were being civil. Then we went out to dinner with our daughter. The next thing I know...he w...	Newlife girl	13	550	Sep 3, 2014 by PP
	Accidentally Saw My Boyfriend's 4th Step...Don't know what to do 4th step dating a recovering addict/alcoholic (Preview) Hello, I am new to Al-Anon, but not new to recovery. I have been in AA for a little over a year and a half. I work a program, go to meetings, have a sponsor, work the steps, etc. I started dating a fellow AA member about 8 months ago. If I didn't qualify for Al-Anon before, then I definitely do now. We've alread...	lvngsobr	7	3357	Sep 3, 2014 by Mari1978
	hand my will and life over step 3 (Preview) Hi all, just been to a meeting topic was step three. wow I have been handing my will and life over ad really meaning it of late. I do not want to be insane doing things over and over that I know do not work I have learnt this the hard way. Peace is in Gods will I may not see it today but he can see round corners I rea...	Tracy	9	558	Sep 3, 2014 by 1911A1
	A funny, but not so funny story about my grandfather (Preview) He is actually my step-grandfather. He has started drinking a lot in the past 5 years according to my mom. She tells me about crazy stuff he does. He is 92 years old and just had his birthday. I am not as close to him as my cousin is. So my cousin lives 9 hrs away from us. She called my grandfather on his birthda...	Newlife girl	1	266	Sep 3, 2014 by grateful2be
	There's not a card for that (Preview) There's not an anniversary card that says "I'm only still with you as I can't trust you not to harm the kids on visitation". Was our anniversary today, surprised at my emotions - we haven't been more than co parents for months now and thought I had come to terms with it but found myself so overw...	Kerrymom	4	464	Sep 3, 2014 by el-cee
	trying to make better choices (Preview) Its been another week with the abf. He has been sober for 5 days now and decided he is going to go for a beer at the local pub but not get drunk. What insane lies. I decided I would not be near him while he is drinking. I came back to my apartment. On Saturday, I went camping without him as he did not want to be arou...	joker	5	465	Sep 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	Hi MIP family! (Preview) It has been a long while since I have posted here. I hope you are well and working your own recoveries. There are big changes underway on my end. My AH, who spent a year working out of state, returned home for good in early July, and has been working locally. His drinking and behavior is spiraling, and...	stephaniej	3	359	Sep 2, 2014 by Jerry F
	Not currently dealing with A (Preview) I posted last night a brief introduction about myself... As I'm reading other posts, I see that many people here are currently dealing with the A in their daily lives. That is not the case for me... So I was curious, who else out there is working the program but is not currently dealing with the A? Who is ex...	jessbuddy0014	2	312	Sep 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	my "happy face side" (Preview) I loved jillybean's post, so I thought I'd use it as a spring board. Well, I have begun working on step 4. I took a piece of paper and divided it in halves. On one side I put a smiley face and on the other side I put a frowny face. On my happy face side, I began listing all the characteristics that I like about m...	cloudyskies	2	311	Sep 2, 2014 by andromeda
	Put on a happy face (Preview) hi all, been busy but wanted to share this interesting story. so....I was in a really bad mood so I decided to go off and have my own little "poor me" party and sit and sulk by myself for awhile. Well I got bored with that pretty quick so I read the newspaper and it was an article about Ro...	jillybean1	6	408	Sep 2, 2014 by jessbuddy0014
	Al-anon on FB (Preview) I didn't know Al-anon was on Facebook... https://www.facebook.com/AlAnonFamilyGroupsWSO PS....Twitter https://twitter.com/AlAnon_WSO -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Sunday 31st of August 2014 04:03:37 PM	Cathyinaz	18	885	Sep 2, 2014 by Newlife girl
	He relapsed (Preview) And, I'm ok! My AH stopped going to meetings 2 weeks ago. I had a feeling that this would happen so I'm not surprised. Working on acceptance today and knowing that this is his choice and I can't control it. Honestly, I am truly ok and ready for whatever God has planned for me at this point.	andromeda	16	622	Sep 2, 2014 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Money and Enabeling (Preview) I have been in a relationship for over 9 years... 7 of those years he was sober and he relapsed almost 2 years ago. He has been binge drinking basically every month that i know of but i suspect much more. Most recently we have had arguements about money. He heas not been able to maintain stable employment s...	KRae	4	567	Sep 2, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Life is peaceful "at the moment...." (Preview) Whilst I was on my vacation, I did everything I could to retain serenity. Despite the drama, I made a point to have fun and enjoy myself as much as I could. It worked. If wasn't for Al-Anon I would have had an awful time. Coming back home, my H thought everything was fine and he was acting as though we were th...	Luiza	5	647	Sep 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	Losing My Hero Vodka Las Vegas Alcoholic Dad Stripper Life Support Liver Damage Daughter Pill Problem PTSD (Preview) I was told by the Nurse in the hospital the day I lost my Dad, that it would be good for me to share my story... So here I am, openly speaking about my pain for the first time. On May 5, 2014 my father lost his battle with Alcoholism. In 2006, when I was 17, my parents divorced, this was the start of everything...	FallenAngel	8	8227	Sep 2, 2014 by milkwood
	different stories (Preview) I read about a young girl who was 24 when she died from alcoholism, her mother made her story public here in the uk a couple of years ago. She had serious liver disease, a huge stomach, couldnt walk due to swollen legs, was bright yellow, yet, she still signed out of the hospital to go and drink. She done thi...	el-cee	8	491	Sep 2, 2014 by Jerry F
	New to Al-Anon... (Preview) Hi, everyone... My name is Jessie. I am fresh to Al-Anon. My therapist suggested that I give it a try, given the type of childhood I had. So, I finally went to a meeting. What a eye-opening experience! It was crazy to hear people sharing the same kinds of thoughts that I had, feeling the same feelings I had...	jessbuddy0014	3	357	Sep 2, 2014 by Jerry F
	Reflections on how the interplay has negatively affected both my recovery and his. (Preview) I have had some time to mull over the recent chaos that has crept back into my head. I have had some interesting revelations. I read a good deal of inspirational thoughts and slogans this morning. I like to read them as though they just apply to me (the wife of an Alcoholic). It certainly helps me (and us as...	sadsusie	2	400	Sep 1, 2014 by el-cee
	Love and take care of yourself don't depend on the alcoholic (Preview) After coming here and going to meetings I realize that my AH does love me but is almost always incapable of being a loving person because he's drunk. He doesn't remember alot of things, conversations, family events etc because he drunk. He tries to cover it up but I can see through it. He's so absorb...	slowlearner	4	461	Sep 1, 2014 by el-cee
	Being in a funk, letting myself stay in a funk, realizing that i was SUPPOSED to be in a funk. codependency what I think is none of (Preview) I have been in a funk for quite a few days. Part of me thinks that I am failing because I am comfortable here in this funk. Today, I had a change of heart. I feel like I need to be alone (luckily i am lol). I looked on Pinterest for some inspirational thoughts and found many. I finally semi forced myself to tidy...	sadsusie	5	7836	Sep 1, 2014 by grateful2be
	Problems with fellow member (Preview) I've been attending Alanon meetings for nearly three years now; spent several years in CoDA before that - which helped enormously, but then for various reasons I realised that Alanon was where I needed to be. I have no problem with the notion of a HP, and revived my own spiritual faith about 10 years ago...	Zeroh	7	584	Sep 1, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Mahalo Thomas A`Kempis (Preview) for this. Reading this morning from out literature to calm my spirit and then my mind and emotions and then my body follows with relaxation. I can continue my day now in a more balanced rhythm and pace. This is what Thomas told me. "Why are thou troubled because things do not succeed with th...	Jerry F	16	860	Sep 1, 2014 by hotrod
	Gotta work a program! (Preview) I always find that sharing with you all helps me to clarify my thoughts and I always feel better afterwards. My mind is reeling again. I had moved to my own place, have found a happy life for myself, its only been a few months. I still love my AH, very much. He has asked me to come see him, and I did. It was good....	sadsusie	8	492	Aug 31, 2014 by grateful2be
	New Member (Preview) Hello all, I am happy to find the Alanon Family Groups boards, thanks to a friend of mine who is goes to the narcanon forums. I wanted to introduce myself and look forward to joining your community. I am retired and have been married for 23 years. I have two step kids who are both grown and (also have...	stepsinthesand	8	516	Aug 31, 2014 by grateful2be
	Heartbreaking left my alcoholic boyfriend (Preview) I know what i did was right but having a rough time. Why is it that i feel like i did something wrong? And why do i keep thinking he will get better? Its insane i know. He makes me think i am crazy. i feel like i have lost myself. Do they even realize the part they played in destroying the relationship? So confu...	Holding on	31	4087	Aug 31, 2014 by hotrod
	Things I'm grateful for (Preview) I'm grateful 1st and foremost for a loveing Heavenly Father that's blessed me with 2 beautiful kids that are both successful in life,I'm also grateful for this board that I can always come here to vent or tell whatever's on my mind this board is like a diary to me I've aired everything I can think of,I'm g...	lookingup	9	567	Aug 31, 2014 by cloudyskies
	All talk no action (Preview) Hi everyone. I know i keep playing the same sad song, but it helps me to verbalize my pain I am in. I continue to sit back in amazement really. My AH continues to sit in our house and not pay the mortgage. I have to pay rent so I cant pay the mortgage either. He says he will get a job. He hasnt worked in 8 months. I a...	Newlife girl	3	507	Aug 31, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Feeling like I am crazy (Preview) I've been reading every bodies posts on here and seems to lean mostly toward the a and relationship issues today,I'm currently Still with my abf as most knows,I'm so waiting on my FTf meetings which I get to begin next mon.i so need my meetings and to find me a sponsor to help me with my step work ever si...	lookingup	6	347	Aug 30, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Riding the emotional roller coaster (Preview) Hi all aplologies that this post is not strictly al annon related, but with an AH at home, don't know who else to share with. AH been much better lately, has some control of his drinking (tho I am aware that probably won't last) & we have been enjoying each others company & I've been working my pro...	Tash2	4	464	Aug 30, 2014 by hotrod
	PP and Tired tonight... (Preview) Thank you both for posts to me, both of which were inspired, hit the mark exactly, and gave me reason to reassess. Not only these two, I appreciate ALL your replies. Thank you thank you all for understanding, patience, and love. Diva	Diva	2	269	Aug 30, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Went to check on ex AH (Preview) Went to lunch with my two wonderful dingy long time friends. Then the said ok we are going to see if R is still alive. Found the apt. not home, but this wonderful gal neighbor was only too happy to fill us in. Sadly the older lady he lived with died. So he has been alone there since last october. He must have go...	Debilyn	11	642	Aug 30, 2014 by hotrod
	Thought I'd be nice, so…. (Preview) I brought him a meal when I went out to lunch as I do every day. I could smell it the moment I entered his apartment. Diarrhea all over the carpets, and a mostly finished large bottle of Listerine mouth wash. Why do I torture myself that way? Now I feel just a bit guilty because I have no intention of call...	Diva	8	545	Aug 30, 2014 by blessed
	In tribute to my father - Product of a strong mother and an alcoholic father (Preview) As my Dad's 86th birthday approaches, I remember him as a man in his 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s. I remember that his father who died at 46, left my grandmother to raise 5 kids during the depression while he lived with his mother and impregnated another woman and took care only of their son. They we...	grateful2be	21	662	Aug 29, 2014 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.