Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It has been busy is putting it mildly .. I spoke at the Alanon function and had a lovely time. I can see how far I have come and see how far I have to go. That's a good thing and I like that it's not done nor will it ever be .. it's just learning something new each day and it's a journey. My mom has some kind of ey...

sookie · sookie

Has anyone wound up having to support their A after a divorce through ungodly amounts of alimony for a looooong period of time? I am petrified this is where my life is going. The fear is clouding my judgment I think and overtaking my serenity. As if divorce isn't emotional enough, the laws regarding ali...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Okay, So I am very frustrated. Bottom line, I do not trust my AH. (surprise lol). I know what I expect to see if he is in recovery and I know what I expect NOT to see. Well, lets just say that there is absolutely no good reason to take out $250 cash at 4am. I am tired of him not "getting" it. I get mad a...

Grammie Kathy · Grammie Kathy

Flower49 · Flower49

Interesting lunch phone call with my AH. He said in his pitiful voice that he only has 15 dollars till he gets paid next week. He had to pay his rent, pay guys for gas to drive him around and of course he paid me. Now, he is almost 1000 up on his rent at the house. He then indicated that although he had invited me...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I have been contemplating posting today. I am worried about my adult Son having to deal with my AH. He seems so sad and I know I cannot 'fix' his sadness. My AH did it again last night. He was suppose to go to grandson's football game. He was told several times of the time and place. He chose to do somet...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hey everyone! Talked with my AH this morning. He has been quite busy this week with completing his fourth and fifth step and then becoming an Alumni of his group home. What all the means to me is I don't know, however this morning he called as he usually does and told me that his "hazing" into th...

Lyne · Lyne

I was at my F2F meeting last night, and the topic of grief was mentioned in one of the readings. I shared about the loss of the marriage I thought I had, maybe did have, want to have, but do not. I also spoke about the damage that not only has been done to me, but the hurt I have watched happen to my son and dtr...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have a piece of land I rent out. nice family put a new fifth wheel there. Now I have to put up a permanent structure to make it legal. It's not legal to have anyone live in an RV. Because A's disease devastated me financially I am going round and around how to do this. Just found out I have to pay a couple hundr...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So, I noticed something new about myself this morning. I mean, I still have a big long way to go but every so often I realise how differently I approach things these days and it just amazes me. I got up early and went for a march on the beach. I get up early quite often lately, even when I don't need to. It's my n...

phiphi · phiphi

Dear MIP members, How good it feels to find someone else too is going through what I m. I live in a remote place where there is no organized AA or al-anon meets. So finding you all is such help to me.I am a married with four lovely children , three of them in their teens. Fortunately, my teens do not give me a...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Today my husband asked if my daughter and I could come to the house and have dinner with him. He said he just wanted us all to be nice to each other and enjoy dinner and watch the dogs play. "normal" family stuff. And we weren't going to bring up anything controversial such as him not having a job...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Today, I spent some time in one of my favorite places in the City. A gal who I had been close to several years ago was in the same place. We'd had not so much a falling out but a parting of the ways when her behavior changed in ways towards me that I simply couldn't understand. We'd known each other for so lo...

lookingup · lookingup

What's in inventory and how do I go about or take inventory of myself need examples plz.....and how do I go from feeling hatred toward my exbf to feelings of ?????.we argue I have nothing good to say to him.except lots of accusations .i know I'm responsible for me what I think,feel,want and need.and I re...

singingnick377 · singingnick377

Hi Everyone, There is one person who really manages to push my buttons and that is my mother. It was my Father who was an alcoholic but of course the whole family is affected by it and we live in Dysfunctionville. I have always felt pretty neglected by my parents. My dad is dead now and I always feel that I ha...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Yeppers...I daily wake up to the abbreviated 3rd step prayer (abbreviated because whenI use to do the long version my HP use to whisper "keep it simple Jerry F"). Knowing that I wake up in the presence of my Higher Power I ask "Place me where you want me...tell me what to do". Y...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

It's been over a year since I have posted on here. I managed to get the three Cs and many times would recite them to myself. I tried groups but just didn't seem to fit in, so I got by. Maybe I have been slowly deteriorating. Last week I came home to my A intoxicated. I lost it and just broke down crying. In h...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

The video is so disturbing. Made me sick. A comment someone made on Twitter really bothered me. They said "no woman has a right to hit a man either. She wasn't innocent." Something to that effect. At the beginning of the video it shows her barely pushing him on the shoulder. I am not saying it'...

Tampa · Tampa

TOPICS: PATIENCE, SECRETS, OPEN TOPIC 9AM ESTThe website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org, port 6667 which users will need to add t...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Please contact me immediately or I will be forced to ban you. Please stop with the spell stuff. NOT appropriate here!

lookingup · lookingup

Exbf is being really nice after we had a huge argument the nite before.i spent my day with some old friends I hadn't seen in years they were tickeld pink we all had a great time laughing and visiting and catching up on things of the past.LIFE CAN BE GOOD!!!!i love my friends and family.

Yazzymedo86 · Yazzymedo86

Its been two weeks since my husband left rehab. I was doing really well up until yesterday. I spent the whole day crying. I feel so incredibly weak. Even when he was an active addict, before going to rehab, he never used to behave in this type of matter. After going to rehab, and since he relapsed, it has g...

Jenny29 · Jenny29

Hi all, I am worried about my brother, he is an alcoholic and living alone in an apartment, he seems to be pretty paranoid and in the past he makes references towards killing himself, he has then told me he would never do this, but I am still concerned. I ended up on anti depressants myself as I felt very d...

Kay10 · Kay10

So I'm learning to live life on life's current terms. Trying to let go and let God, and working to better understand myself and how I relate to others. As I become more aware, and as I consciously try to work through the thoughts and feelings and anxiety that are ME.... I realize that I have basically surr...

CarlyM123 · CarlyM123

I have questions. I need answers. Why is it that the more the addict does, the unspeakable awful things they do when they use, do we keep going back to them over and over? Is it because there is such a fear of being lonely or is it because they are so amazing when they are sober that we can just look past those...

Jessmine · Jessmine

Has anyone had a qualifier who has stayed sober after multiple treatments without a detailed recovery plan? I know, sounds naive.

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

prayers for my mom. I've had her in the ER twice this week. We go back to the doctor this afternoon. I did not realize how much an ER can wear a person down. I'm tired. Also, the baby in the picture is my granddaughter. She's three now. I hope everyone has a great day.

Luiza · Luiza

I told him many times but I made it crystal clear on the 30th August that marriage is over, there won't be any more 'last chances', I just CAN'T do this anymore. It is not that I don't even want to have another go, I just CAN'T. Even though I was convinced it was over, my head played tricks on me and I considere...

shimo · shimo

WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Unacceptable behavior; Denial; Self-care The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.o...

lookingup · lookingup

It went great,so happy I went wished I could remember what all we talked about but it's way too early this morning when I remember I'll sure share it.thanks for all the help,I did learn that I was sick and that by my acting out in craziness that that made 2 of us crazy under the same roof wouldn't be good.

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

I fall and try getting back up. Getting up seems pretty hard, but that is why I'm here. Divorce is in process. Soon to be ex mom-in-law, although "well meaning" made a comment I did not feel like hearing today. It brought up my resentments and again, I do not want to hold any. It's not easy not...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Married 15 years, Never treated me well. I can remember wanting to leave him regularly for about that long. I have been ignoring all of that as if I feel like I need to get what I invested in this "relationship". He is manipulative. I mean he IS manipulative, do I want to live with that. He IS sel...

Venera · Venera

I am still puzzled by the detachment. A lot of times i read that no matter what we say to an A he won't do anything untill he hits his bottom, etc.. I understand I need to my mind my own business, worry about my recovery and detach from him. But does it mean never discuss his drinking? I understand about not ta...

Yazzymedo86 · Yazzymedo86

Hi All, I want to thank you for the response I received to my last post. I can not begin to explain how much it helped. Since my last post, my husband is acting worse. I keep telling him we need to sit down and talk. He keeps avoiding me. I cant stand it when he is using he becomes a different person. I know I s...

singingnick377 · singingnick377

Hi Everyone, This is my first time on this website. I have done a meeting but not posted anything in the forum. I used to attend meetings in Amsterdam when I lived there. I have been experiencing a lot of muscle tension in my body for the last four years. It started with jaw tension and is not the best thing a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Some people have it bad..... WOW

el-cee · el-cee

Confidence, self worth, self belief, self care, honesty, self respect. This is what I got by going to meetings and learning this program. Thats when everything changed. When youve got a bit of this then untreated alcoholism is just not good enough -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 8th of September 2014 0...

Alicea67 · Alicea67

I've been dealing with my alcoholic/schizophrenic son for more than 15 yrs. he has been to rehabs, incarceration, homelessness,etc. He doesn't seem to have a bottom. The biggest problem that I have with him is that I'm his SS benefits payee. I pay for his room and food and the rest of the money he is usi...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I know I need to keep my focus on myself and I try to do that most times, but last night was a very stressful night. My AH went on a binge and did not come home. I have read my ODAT, prayed to HP and cried. Nothing is relieving my FEAR and pain. I have been calling him repeatedly since early this morning. No...

likemyheart · likemyheart

So, this morning I'm standing at the sink doing dishes and watching the birds enjoy their morning feast of grapes from my one huge Sigmund the Sea Monster vine and thinking - I like grapes, they're good grapes, but I don't eat many, they have seeds, but that isn't why I don't eat them, I just don't eat more...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi -My sponsor is away for a week and for the first time, in over a year of working together, I miss the daily contact, and it's only the first day! I feel a loss and I know when she gets back, we will continue as usual. During the past 10 yrs or so, I have rejected new people who wished to be friends with me. I...

lookingup · lookingup

Son invited me to come up and spend the night with him and cook out,enjoying it seems though like my greiveing is harder today I've been trying to keep him off my mind by washing my car,visiting getting out of town and of course come ing here to share I'm been catching myself blinking back my tears,I'm sai...

joker · joker

Well, my Abf decided to drink last night, first on an empty stomach and then we ate dinner. He drank till 5:30 am this morning. I went to bed at 10 pm and told him not to bother me. He let me sleep and that was great. He sat up all night and watched TV and talked to himself. I had to laugh as I woke up a few times and h...

pinkchip · pinkchip

In my active drinking, I used to absolutely not care about living in filth and it even filtered down to my own hygiene. I always had my partners in relationships cleaning up my messes and getting on to me to help (which I rarely, if ever did). My current husband do not do this, partially because he just k...

Temple · Temple

I started a new topic because I can't post to an existing thread, for some reason. I'm married to an Alcoholic who hasn't had a drink in decades. He got off the stuff without rehab, detox, anything. We had a period when he was using Listerine by the quart (you don't have to drink it--it absorbs through t...

Tampa · Tampa

The Spiritual Meeting will start promptly at 10 A.M. EST Meeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room Sunday 9/7 10 A.M. EST - Story: FEELING BETTER WITHOUT KNOWING IT. The website link to the group meeting room ishttp://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html . There are other ways to join the room...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Just love all the new faces.....you are all so beautiful...Thank you for letting me in to see you all. I changed my pic...wow am I getting old and the bags under my eyes from working so much is getting to my face and body. Today I'm still sitting in bed and it's 10:30 and I don't care. I think...

Debb · Debb

AH saves his drinking for the week-ends now, which means I have to stay out of his way otherwise it is just a series of nasty remarks and conversations taken out of context. I liken the situation to the Dr. Jekel and Mr. Hyde syndrome. I work all week long too, but I guess he feels that he works harder than...

el-cee · el-cee

I thought this was really funny in a sad kind of way so thought I would share. A nurse had an alcoholic husband and she got herself to alanon, she got a bit of a support network and one member picked her up and gave her a lift to the meetings in her car. One particular night the member waited on the nurse in the...

el-cee · el-cee

That odaat recently has been amazing, either that or ive become more open. This is the third time round that im reading the daily readings and its like I never read it before. Today spoke to me. It starts with a questiin, 'have I been trying to live the alanon program?' This got me thi king right away beca...

Luiza · Luiza

At first I was confused and bewildered: ""Are people really using their real name on an internet forum? And to discuss such personal stories and experiences too? They use their real photo! It's crazy!"" No it isn't. This is a place of honesty and acceptance, love and true willi...

lookingup · lookingup

Bf way to get his foot in the door ,I've only got a jacket and statue that's. to worth much and he has no place to put them its hot outside he don't need his coat,he left a huge box of winter clothes that he didn't even mention.its his way if he can just get here to my house and it be ok with me then he figures he can...

Madecrazygirl · Madecrazygirl

At my wits end. He is 9 months into "Recovery". He's turned from a drunk to a passive agressive horror story. the lovely man I met 20 years ago and married 18 years ago is someone I don't know any more. If it hadn't been for the fact that I face losing my home (that I have worked my butt off for for a...

andromeda · andromeda

AH and I sat down this AM to go over my 'letter' that I gave him where I explained what our reality is and I was as honest and gentle as I could be. He took that as a door to say that we need to separate because he said I'll never be able to trust him and that I'll never NOT fear him and/or his actions. I told him I k...

Diva · Diva

"Trouble is, we get crushed and they can often bounce right back up to start the madness all over again" If ever a sentence were true, it's this one. I lived with this nonsense for 13 years. Diva -- Edited by Diva on Saturday 6th of September 2014 11:17:40 AM

KRae · KRae

I am losing hope more and more of any chance of a happy ending with my alcoholic boyfriend. He Once Had 7 years sober and now relapsed 2 years ago. His anger, lies, verbal lashing and deceitfulness are getting worse every day. Does anyone have a story of their alcoholic getting better? Of trust bein...

Yazzymedo86 · Yazzymedo86

My husband was in a recovery program for 3 months. We live outside of the states right now so here they offer work for those who have completed 3 months in the location. Anyway, my husband goes for 8 days and comes for 3 days home. 3 days ago he said he got in an argument with someone lost his temper and decid...

el-cee · el-cee

Hope was the topic at my meeting this week and it was the first thing I got in alanon, as soon as I heard people say the word alcoholism. Its funny I lived with it for almost 20 years and noone ever said the words. To hear them used openly gave me hope because it was the first move away from the denial that I knew...

lookingup · lookingup

Bf called me he sounded like he might be sick he just asked if I was ready to exchange our stuff but I'm no longer needing the things he got of mine and what I'm holding of his id planned on selling it to at least get some of my money back,I did ask him where he was staying at he said here and there.so I told him not...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

When I'm at an Al-Anon Adult Child meeting, am I allowed to mention smoking or over-eating as a symptom of my adult child issues? If you have an answer would you please back it up with literature if possible? I haven't done this, but in would like to know the truth so I don't break Traditions.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Don't know where to start .. LOL .. (Preview) It has been busy is putting it mildly .. I spoke at the Alanon function and had a lovely time. I can see how far I have come and see how far I have to go. That's a good thing and I like that it's not done nor will it ever be .. it's just learning something new each day and it's a journey. My mom has some kind of ey...	SerenityRUS	3	445	Sep 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	divorce/alimony (Preview) Has anyone wound up having to support their A after a divorce through ungodly amounts of alimony for a looooong period of time? I am petrified this is where my life is going. The fear is clouding my judgment I think and overtaking my serenity. As if divorce isn't emotional enough, the laws regarding ali...	sookie	6	477	Sep 13, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	It is NOT my responsibility to explain to my AH that he is a hot mess. (Preview) Okay, So I am very frustrated. Bottom line, I do not trust my AH. (surprise lol). I know what I expect to see if he is in recovery and I know what I expect NOT to see. Well, lets just say that there is absolutely no good reason to take out $250 cash at 4am. I am tired of him not "getting" it. I get mad a...	sadsusie	13	609	Sep 12, 2014 by Kay10
	Anyone care to share about your own phenomenon of craving as an Al-Anon? I'm trying to comprehend and understand my own (Preview)	Grammie Kathy	14	650	Sep 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Bamboozled Update (Preview) Interesting lunch phone call with my AH. He said in his pitiful voice that he only has 15 dollars till he gets paid next week. He had to pay his rent, pay guys for gas to drive him around and of course he paid me. Now, he is almost 1000 up on his rent at the house. He then indicated that although he had invited me...	Flower49	2	300	Sep 12, 2014 by Debilyn
	Sadness for Son (Preview) I have been contemplating posting today. I am worried about my adult Son having to deal with my AH. He seems so sad and I know I cannot 'fix' his sadness. My AH did it again last night. He was suppose to go to grandson's football game. He was told several times of the time and place. He chose to do somet...	Hullibee	15	602	Sep 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Feeling Bamboozled (Preview) Hey everyone! Talked with my AH this morning. He has been quite busy this week with completing his fourth and fifth step and then becoming an Alumni of his group home. What all the means to me is I don't know, however this morning he called as he usually does and told me that his "hazing" into th...	Flower49	17	605	Sep 12, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	woke up angry at my A (Preview) I was at my F2F meeting last night, and the topic of grief was mentioned in one of the readings. I shared about the loss of the marriage I thought I had, maybe did have, want to have, but do not. I also spoke about the damage that not only has been done to me, but the hurt I have watched happen to my son and dtr...	Lyne	11	536	Sep 12, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Leftovers from A's disease (Preview) I have a piece of land I rent out. nice family put a new fifth wheel there. Now I have to put up a permanent structure to make it legal. It's not legal to have anyone live in an RV. Because A's disease devastated me financially I am going round and around how to do this. Just found out I have to pay a couple hundr...	Debilyn	8	595	Sep 12, 2014 by bud
	Today doesn't have to be forever. (Preview) So, I noticed something new about myself this morning. I mean, I still have a big long way to go but every so often I realise how differently I approach things these days and it just amazes me. I got up early and went for a march on the beach. I get up early quite often lately, even when I don't need to. It's my n...	missmeliss	13	589	Sep 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	my first post - story of my life and my mistakes (Preview) Dear MIP members, How good it feels to find someone else too is going through what I m. I live in a remote place where there is no organized AA or al-anon meets. So finding you all is such help to me.I am a married with four lovely children , three of them in their teens. Fortunately, my teens do not give me a...	phiphi	5	571	Sep 12, 2014 by phiphi
	Turned down his dinner invitation...feeling sad and confused (Preview) Today my husband asked if my daughter and I could come to the house and have dinner with him. He said he just wanted us all to be nice to each other and enjoy dinner and watch the dogs play. "normal" family stuff. And we weren't going to bring up anything controversial such as him not having a job...	Newlife girl	18	588	Sep 11, 2014 by el-cee
	Reading other people's minds (Preview) Today, I spent some time in one of my favorite places in the City. A gal who I had been close to several years ago was in the same place. We'd had not so much a falling out but a parting of the ways when her behavior changed in ways towards me that I simply couldn't understand. We'd known each other for so lo...	grateful2be	9	568	Sep 11, 2014 by el-cee
	Inventory (Preview) What's in inventory and how do I go about or take inventory of myself need examples plz.....and how do I go from feeling hatred toward my exbf to feelings of ?????.we argue I have nothing good to say to him.except lots of accusations .i know I'm responsible for me what I think,feel,want and need.and I re...	lookingup	7	570	Sep 11, 2014 by el-cee
	My buttons have been well and truly pushed. (Preview) Hi Everyone, There is one person who really manages to push my buttons and that is my mother. It was my Father who was an alcoholic but of course the whole family is affected by it and we live in Dysfunctionville. I have always felt pretty neglected by my parents. My dad is dead now and I always feel that I ha...	singingnick377	7	589	Sep 11, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	HP listening to MIP and doing some directing? (Preview) Yeppers...I daily wake up to the abbreviated 3rd step prayer (abbreviated because whenI use to do the long version my HP use to whisper "keep it simple Jerry F"). Knowing that I wake up in the presence of my Higher Power I ask "Place me where you want me...tell me what to do". Y...	Jerry F	5	546	Sep 11, 2014 by Jerry F
	Two faces of the disease (Preview) It's been over a year since I have posted on here. I managed to get the three Cs and many times would recite them to myself. I tried groups but just didn't seem to fit in, so I got by. Maybe I have been slowly deteriorating. Last week I came home to my A intoxicated. I lost it and just broke down crying. In h...	hdftby100	7	498	Sep 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Ray Rice video got me thinking about domestic violence (Preview) The video is so disturbing. Made me sick. A comment someone made on Twitter really bothered me. They said "no woman has a right to hit a man either. She wasn't innocent." Something to that effect. At the beginning of the video it shows her barely pushing him on the shoulder. I am not saying it'...	Newlife girl	33	763	Sep 11, 2014 by pinkchip
	9/11 THURSDAY MORNING (9AM EST) TOPICS: PATIENCE, SECRETS, OPEN TOPIC (Preview) TOPICS: PATIENCE, SECRETS, OPEN TOPIC 9AM ESTThe website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org, port 6667 which users will need to add t...	Tampa	0	344	Sep 11, 2014 by Tampa
	Hgfgf IMPORTANT (Preview) Please contact me immediately or I will be forced to ban you. Please stop with the spell stuff. NOT appropriate here!	Debilyn	26	2030	Sep 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	I'm still here (Preview) Exbf is being really nice after we had a huge argument the nite before.i spent my day with some old friends I hadn't seen in years they were tickeld pink we all had a great time laughing and visiting and catching up on things of the past.LIFE CAN BE GOOD!!!!i love my friends and family.	lookingup	2	290	Sep 10, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Not doing so well... (Preview) Its been two weeks since my husband left rehab. I was doing really well up until yesterday. I spent the whole day crying. I feel so incredibly weak. Even when he was an active addict, before going to rehab, he never used to behave in this type of matter. After going to rehab, and since he relapsed, it has g...	Yazzymedo86	6	638	Sep 10, 2014 by cloudyskies
	worried about my brother. (Preview) Hi all, I am worried about my brother, he is an alcoholic and living alone in an apartment, he seems to be pretty paranoid and in the past he makes references towards killing himself, he has then told me he would never do this, but I am still concerned. I ended up on anti depressants myself as I felt very d...	Jenny29	3	311	Sep 10, 2014 by Debilyn
	Learning so much about my own tendencies, I'm ready to move to a deserted island! (Preview) So I'm learning to live life on life's current terms. Trying to let go and let God, and working to better understand myself and how I relate to others. As I become more aware, and as I consciously try to work through the thoughts and feelings and anxiety that are ME.... I realize that I have basically surr...	Kay10	5	460	Sep 10, 2014 by singingnick377
	desperate call out (Preview) I have questions. I need answers. Why is it that the more the addict does, the unspeakable awful things they do when they use, do we keep going back to them over and over? Is it because there is such a fear of being lonely or is it because they are so amazing when they are sober that we can just look past those...	CarlyM123	13	558	Sep 10, 2014 by Jerry F
	No Recovery Plan (Preview) Has anyone had a qualifier who has stayed sober after multiple treatments without a detailed recovery plan? I know, sounds naive.	Jessmine	5	519	Sep 10, 2014 by Flower49
	Would just like to ask (Preview) prayers for my mom. I've had her in the ER twice this week. We go back to the doctor this afternoon. I did not realize how much an ER can wear a person down. I'm tired. Also, the baby in the picture is my granddaughter. She's three now. I hope everyone has a great day.	cloudyskies	13	509	Sep 10, 2014 by PP
	He finally accepted it is over. (Preview) I told him many times but I made it crystal clear on the 30th August that marriage is over, there won't be any more 'last chances', I just CAN'T do this anymore. It is not that I don't even want to have another go, I just CAN'T. Even though I was convinced it was over, my head played tricks on me and I considere...	Luiza	15	718	Sep 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) (Preview) WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Unacceptable behavior; Denial; Self-care The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.o...	shimo	0	191	Sep 10, 2014 by shimo
	Made my 1st FTf alanon meeting (Preview) It went great,so happy I went wished I could remember what all we talked about but it's way too early this morning when I remember I'll sure share it.thanks for all the help,I did learn that I was sick and that by my acting out in craziness that that made 2 of us crazy under the same roof wouldn't be good.	lookingup	8	374	Sep 9, 2014 by lookingup
	Resisting...and being Responsible (Preview) I fall and try getting back up. Getting up seems pretty hard, but that is why I'm here. Divorce is in process. Soon to be ex mom-in-law, although "well meaning" made a comment I did not feel like hearing today. It brought up my resentments and again, I do not want to hold any. It's not easy not...	RoseODAT	6	493	Sep 9, 2014 by PP
	Been stuck but now I can't seem to find a reason NOT to get a divorce. (Preview) Married 15 years, Never treated me well. I can remember wanting to leave him regularly for about that long. I have been ignoring all of that as if I feel like I need to get what I invested in this "relationship". He is manipulative. I mean he IS manipulative, do I want to live with that. He IS sel...	sadsusie	6	554	Sep 9, 2014 by andromeda
	Detachment = no talk? (Preview) I am still puzzled by the detachment. A lot of times i read that no matter what we say to an A he won't do anything untill he hits his bottom, etc.. I understand I need to my mind my own business, worry about my recovery and detach from him. But does it mean never discuss his drinking? I understand about not ta...	Venera	14	739	Sep 9, 2014 by Venera
	I need some support again :( (Preview) Hi All, I want to thank you for the response I received to my last post. I can not begin to explain how much it helped. Since my last post, my husband is acting worse. I keep telling him we need to sit down and talk. He keeps avoiding me. I cant stand it when he is using he becomes a different person. I know I s...	Yazzymedo86	10	502	Sep 9, 2014 by pinkchip
	Letting it begin with me (Preview) Hi Everyone, This is my first time on this website. I have done a meeting but not posted anything in the forum. I used to attend meetings in Amsterdam when I lived there. I have been experiencing a lot of muscle tension in my body for the last four years. It started with jaw tension and is not the best thing a...	singingnick377	12	516	Sep 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	I 10 Freeway (Preview) Some people have it bad..... WOW	Cathyinaz	11	526	Sep 9, 2014 by PP
	do you really want change? (Preview) Confidence, self worth, self belief, self care, honesty, self respect. This is what I got by going to meetings and learning this program. Thats when everything changed. When youve got a bit of this then untreated alcoholism is just not good enough -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 8th of September 2014 0...	el-cee	11	605	Sep 8, 2014 by PP
	Sharing first time (Preview) I've been dealing with my alcoholic/schizophrenic son for more than 15 yrs. he has been to rehabs, incarceration, homelessness,etc. He doesn't seem to have a bottom. The biggest problem that I have with him is that I'm his SS benefits payee. I pay for his room and food and the rest of the money he is usi...	Alicea67	5	432	Sep 8, 2014 by tiredtonite
	At wits end ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I know I need to keep my focus on myself and I try to do that most times, but last night was a very stressful night. My AH went on a binge and did not come home. I have read my ODAT, prayed to HP and cried. Nothing is relieving my FEAR and pain. I have been calling him repeatedly since early this morning. No...	Hullibee	43	1480	Sep 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	Grapes (Preview) So, this morning I'm standing at the sink doing dishes and watching the birds enjoy their morning feast of grapes from my one huge Sigmund the Sea Monster vine and thinking - I like grapes, they're good grapes, but I don't eat many, they have seeds, but that isn't why I don't eat them, I just don't eat more...	likemyheart	7	364	Sep 8, 2014 by milkwood
	surprised @ myself (Preview) Hi -My sponsor is away for a week and for the first time, in over a year of working together, I miss the daily contact, and it's only the first day! I feel a loss and I know when she gets back, we will continue as usual. During the past 10 yrs or so, I have rejected new people who wished to be friends with me. I...	Lyne	3	284	Sep 8, 2014 by singingnick377
	Out of town (Preview) Son invited me to come up and spend the night with him and cook out,enjoying it seems though like my greiveing is harder today I've been trying to keep him off my mind by washing my car,visiting getting out of town and of course come ing here to share I'm been catching myself blinking back my tears,I'm sai...	lookingup	9	445	Sep 7, 2014 by Jerry F
	Had a good sleep (Preview) Well, my Abf decided to drink last night, first on an empty stomach and then we ate dinner. He drank till 5:30 am this morning. I went to bed at 10 pm and told him not to bother me. He let me sleep and that was great. He sat up all night and watched TV and talked to himself. I had to laugh as I woke up a few times and h...	joker	1	387	Sep 7, 2014 by Jerry F
	My mess (Funny, yet true) (Preview) In my active drinking, I used to absolutely not care about living in filth and it even filtered down to my own hygiene. I always had my partners in relationships cleaning up my messes and getting on to me to help (which I rarely, if ever did). My current husband do not do this, partially because he just k...	pinkchip	18	631	Sep 7, 2014 by likemyheart
	Staying sober w/o a recovery plan. (Preview) I started a new topic because I can't post to an existing thread, for some reason. I'm married to an Alcoholic who hasn't had a drink in decades. He got off the stuff without rehab, detox, anything. We had a period when he was using Listerine by the quart (you don't have to drink it--it absorbs through t...	Temple	8	549	Sep 7, 2014 by andromeda
	Sunday 9/7 10 A.M. EST SPIRITUAL STUDY - Story: FEELING BETTER WITHOUT KNOWING IT. (Preview) The Spiritual Meeting will start promptly at 10 A.M. EST Meeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room Sunday 9/7 10 A.M. EST - Story: FEELING BETTER WITHOUT KNOWING IT. The website link to the group meeting room ishttp://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html . There are other ways to join the room...	Tampa	0	193	Sep 7, 2014 by Tampa
	Happy Saturday (Preview) Hi Everyone Just love all the new faces.....you are all so beautiful...Thank you for letting me in to see you all. I changed my pic...wow am I getting old and the bags under my eyes from working so much is getting to my face and body. Today I'm still sitting in bed and it's 10:30 and I don't care. I think...	Cathyinaz	8	446	Sep 7, 2014 by Jerry F
	Gonna be a long week-end!! (Preview) AH saves his drinking for the week-ends now, which means I have to stay out of his way otherwise it is just a series of nasty remarks and conversations taken out of context. I liken the situation to the Dr. Jekel and Mr. Hyde syndrome. I work all week long too, but I guess he feels that he works harder than...	Debb	10	549	Sep 6, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	the nurse (Preview) I thought this was really funny in a sad kind of way so thought I would share. A nurse had an alcoholic husband and she got herself to alanon, she got a bit of a support network and one member picked her up and gave her a lift to the meetings in her car. One particular night the member waited on the nurse in the...	el-cee	4	268	Sep 6, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	todays odaat (Preview) That odaat recently has been amazing, either that or ive become more open. This is the third time round that im reading the daily readings and its like I never read it before. Today spoke to me. It starts with a questiin, 'have I been trying to live the alanon program?' This got me thi king right away beca...	el-cee	4	642	Sep 6, 2014 by Debb
	Another reason why I love it here (Preview) At first I was confused and bewildered: ""Are people really using their real name on an internet forum? And to discuss such personal stories and experiences too? They use their real photo! It's crazy!"" No it isn't. This is a place of honesty and acceptance, love and true willi...	Luiza	17	555	Sep 6, 2014 by Debb
	Bf trying to get his foot back in the door (Preview) Bf way to get his foot in the door ,I've only got a jacket and statue that's. to worth much and he has no place to put them its hot outside he don't need his coat,he left a huge box of winter clothes that he didn't even mention.its his way if he can just get here to my house and it be ok with me then he figures he can...	lookingup	4	377	Sep 6, 2014 by PP
	Ultimate crazy making day (Preview) At my wits end. He is 9 months into "Recovery". He's turned from a drunk to a passive agressive horror story. the lovely man I met 20 years ago and married 18 years ago is someone I don't know any more. If it hadn't been for the fact that I face losing my home (that I have worked my butt off for for a...	Madecrazygirl	5	439	Sep 6, 2014 by Madecrazygirl
	We're planning on separating (Preview) AH and I sat down this AM to go over my 'letter' that I gave him where I explained what our reality is and I was as honest and gentle as I could be. He took that as a door to say that we need to separate because he said I'll never be able to trust him and that I'll never NOT fear him and/or his actions. I told him I k...	andromeda	24	801	Sep 6, 2014 by blessed
	grateful2be said this: (Preview) "Trouble is, we get crushed and they can often bounce right back up to start the madness all over again" If ever a sentence were true, it's this one. I lived with this nonsense for 13 years. Diva -- Edited by Diva on Saturday 6th of September 2014 11:17:40 AM	Diva	3	279	Sep 6, 2014 by blessed
	any one have a happy ending? (Preview) I am losing hope more and more of any chance of a happy ending with my alcoholic boyfriend. He Once Had 7 years sober and now relapsed 2 years ago. His anger, lies, verbal lashing and deceitfulness are getting worse every day. Does anyone have a story of their alcoholic getting better? Of trust bein...	KRae	7	619	Sep 6, 2014 by blessed
	I need advice please before I go nuts! :( :( please (Preview) My husband was in a recovery program for 3 months. We live outside of the states right now so here they offer work for those who have completed 3 months in the location. Anyway, my husband goes for 8 days and comes for 3 days home. 3 days ago he said he got in an argument with someone lost his temper and decid...	Yazzymedo86	19	693	Sep 6, 2014 by grateful2be
	hope (Preview) Hope was the topic at my meeting this week and it was the first thing I got in alanon, as soon as I heard people say the word alcoholism. Its funny I lived with it for almost 20 years and noone ever said the words. To hear them used openly gave me hope because it was the first move away from the denial that I knew...	el-cee	6	415	Sep 5, 2014 by hotrod
	Bf calls (Preview) Bf called me he sounded like he might be sick he just asked if I was ready to exchange our stuff but I'm no longer needing the things he got of mine and what I'm holding of his id planned on selling it to at least get some of my money back,I did ask him where he was staying at he said here and there.so I told him not...	lookingup	5	326	Sep 5, 2014 by hotrod
	General Question About Al-Anon (Preview) When I'm at an Al-Anon Adult Child meeting, am I allowed to mention smoking or over-eating as a symptom of my adult child issues? If you have an answer would you please back it up with literature if possible? I haven't done this, but in would like to know the truth so I don't break Traditions.	WorkingThroughIt	3	393	Sep 5, 2014 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.