Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

4Horses · 4Horses

I am a newbie to this site. I joined in hopes of getting some ideas on how to help my daughter. She is 28 years old and has everything going for her, a college degree, a good job, people that love her, etc.. However, she has a depression problem, which she won't discuss. And her answer is the bottle. No...

dizbee · dizbee

Long story as short as I can tell it, last year this time we had a full-on intervention, had an interventionist fly in from California to where we live in NY. We ambushed her, and she finally agreed to go into a 3 month rehab in Utah. Here we are a year later and she is in her 3rd detox in Utah. This time is home...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Sigh, I put in a lot of work to make sure the old place was well and truly clean and orderly, I had the few bits of damaged plaster repaired flawlessly and painted, the gardens were good and the agent said the place was great, "damage free" and asked me to go back and dust again and "remove t...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am learning to laugh at myself in my martial arts class. I am quickly approaching 50 and my goal is to get my black belt before then...I am on track. So I was laughing at myself, then I heard a guy in my class moaning and groaning. He is in his late 50's. He tells us about his health problems, and he also laugh...

Pat916 · Pat916

So im new to this board as well as my alanon meetings. I told my AH a few weeks ago that i was starting therapy and would be going to meetings to make me stronger. Definitely did not like the idea of it being that our town is small amd doesn't want us to be airing our dirty laundry. Just my presence there he said...

mjferg · mjferg

I am feeling much better today!What a journey this has been.I feel like Bilbo Baggins leaving the comfort of the Shire going to slay the dragon!I am a hopeless romantic,by the way and I love whimsy!I realize as I face each demon from my past,painful as it is,I heal and grow.I realize I can't change the p...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Wonder of wonder miracle or miracles...I wouldn't be here if I wasn't a miracle. I think even my birth was a miracle. And, to top it off, I am still a miracle. God put me here to carry the message. And, I intend to do something for someone every day as I am able. You see the key to happiness is not what you have i...

missmeliss · missmeliss

It's sort of coming from all sides just now. But I think I'm coping OK. Excuse the fact that there is a lot of grizzling in this post. I think it's all coming from a reasonably healthy place as I become accustomed to not responding to garbage from the garbologists in my life. Mother has returned from her ho...

milkwood · milkwood

AH and I had to go to a meeting at our local council this morning, accompanied by a young official chap. There was a long wait, about an hour, before we could go in, and lots of other people were also waiting to see this particular council official. Anyway, AH and our young chap were chatting away and I wa...

PP · PP

I am having a panicky moment here and would like some feedback. I have had a male spiritual director for many years. He is an older, gay gentlemen who has been a wonderful mentor. In the many years of my husbands addictions and into the early years of his recovery, he was jealous and very suspicious t...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I know this is probably a case of qtip but it feels so real! I'm very hypersensitive of late, it's truly hideous. Anyway today I received a cloak and dagger dig on my familial background through my stbx mil through my ah. Its regarding an aunt who is a whackjob drunk coda drug abuser....how my cousins sur...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I would like to announce the birth of my granddaughter, Lillian Rebecca. She was born tonight at 9:21 weighing 6lbs 10.9 ozs. She is beautiful. Thank you God for blessing us with a healthy baby.

katiemac · katiemac

Things have just gone full circle. I came to Alanon when my son started drinking as a teen. I grew up with an alcoholic dad & I am a dual program woman. I am also in AA. So my son was also raised by an alcoholic. He has the same broken picker that I had when I came to Alanon. My heart breaks as I see him goin...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

orare hard headed. Over the generations, much has changed, humility has given way to ego. The island is alcoholic. Every single person living on it qualifies for alanon. I think its long been this way. Only I recall a fiesty lineage that was strong yet soft. Today I bumped into a fellow islander accide...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

My AW will have her first sober anniversary this Saturday. It's a big day for her of course, and I am very proud of her. I want to get her a present, but I'm the most unimaginative present-giver in the world. Anybody have any ideas? Of course, any idea should cost nothing and require no work (just kiddi...

Mattie · Mattie

As I mentioned a little while ago, a friend told me some things that suggested my A has started a downward slide, after many years of stability. He arrived tonight to pick up our child, and he was plastered. And he looked really terrible - disheveled, slurring, pants unzipped. This has never happened...

jpebbles · jpebbles

When the river of denial faded, I woke up to find an alcoholic who I allowed to enmesh my life. I realized I didn't have any friends and he kept me to himself. Wow.. I ran to alnon. I have been married for 14 years to an alcoholic. About 3 years ago, I got on his case and suggested that he might be drinking too...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

its very hard to get rid of an a. Mine won't go. Just flat out will.not.go. And without creating a violent scene, I'm not sure how to force it. Let me be clear that the violence would probably be mine,as I am a volatile person when I feel caged.though I heard something great from a fellow alanoner,who advi...

HockeyMom25 · HockeyMom25

I writing this here because I'm not sure if I'll ever get it out - and at this point I feel so incredibly alone. I know that I have not been a good person. I have lied. A lot. And I have not been true to myself, or others. I have not been a good wife, and I can't really tell you why. But I haven't. Maybe I'm just not a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Mahalo to my MIP sisters for the input, the honest shares in this post started by Aquamom. Honestly I've read thru it several times because of the open honesty you all brought to it. The last couple of times I read it with my heart and not my head which is where men often come from and I get to remember ge...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I was reading a book that discusses how people you come across are there for a reason. Today I got a reminder of why I left AH. There was a man in front of me at the store who smelled strongly of alcohol and he was buying more. I felt nervous and sick to my stomach. Thank you HP for another reminder of why I choo...

neshema2 · neshema2

So its been what....a week ?? a bit more??? Since one of the deepest posts I have written was submitted??? I am struggling w/ the HP thingy and you all had to spiritually "shore me up" so I could get a perspective??? Well WHO in their wildest dreams would want ME to share with them steps 2, 3, or...

Jerry F · Jerry F

That might sound like the motto of the enabler and the fixer and it carries though years of recovery and input from my sponsorship. "If I can help it" means today that I will think it thru before making whatever decision I need to make in order to get the consequence I'm looking for. Thin...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Whether your child is "a child" (when it is understood that you have full responsibility as a parent to care and provide for that child), or your child is "an adult" ( adult in years, but perhaps that child never assumed adult responsibility for him or herself?), you and that chi...

neshema2 · neshema2

Called my A brother yesterday....I had a "feeling" when he called me and left VM... So I call him and he says "haaay sissy, glad you called me back" and the convo seemed to go "ok" for a while...and then the bombshell.. Rewind just for a bit: Don't know if i told you a mon...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

is it really possible to detach from an alcoholic and still be married? How? I struggle with this. I don't believe I enable my husband by taking his consequences on his behalf. I don't lie for him,cover for him or any of that. I have over the last year been flying off the handle when he breaks promises and g...

Luiza · Luiza

Remember when I was expecting a visit from a social worker last week? Well, that didn't happen last week but today instead. The Social Worker came here to visit, she is a very nice lady. She asked daughter a few questions about what makes her nervous/sad/unhappy etc and daughter mentioned 'fighting g...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just to make a note today: I had a wonderful weekend to relax & enjoy. After my day Friday. I felt the blessings of God even further. I am truly blessed & I had to share it. It resonated w/ me all weekend & even today. What a joy it is when things go my way. I am not going to let the negative spill int...

hunyboo74 · hunyboo74

I usually react to his drinking in a less than graceful way and he seems self centered as indicated in the disease of addictions. I met him and married him knowing of his addictions, but not his alcohol addiction. It's not every day to my knowledge but when I ask, he become agitated and I end up frustrate...

el-cee · el-cee

....for me means, no more giving advice, no lectures, nagging, no guilt tripping, emotional blackmail, no more tears, trying to control or fix, it means live and let live. Allowing the alcoholic the full affects of their disease. This is the kindest thing and loving thing we can do, anything else is...

orchidlife · orchidlife

I find myself struggling with the fact that I am seeking out help to deal with the situation that I never thought I would find myself in: being in a relationship with an alcoholic. I think I'm finally ready to admit that I can't continue doing this on my own, despite how strong and capable I like to think t...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

So...I was with my sister today. I am trying to teach her Al anon tools when dealing with her husband. He is not alcoholic. anyway, he can really pick on my sister. today she was washing grapes for the kids to eat. He told her she was doing it wrong, and she should have wiped them off with a paper towel too. Sh...

texasgal · texasgal

AlAnon has taught many tools that I use on a daily basis that help me through the day. However I was not prepared for the serenity have been experiencing. I love this peaceful feeling. I've always lived my life in chaos. Since I started the program bits of peace and happiness started to enter my life and n...

Birdofparadise · Birdofparadise

This is my first time with Alanon. I've been going a little crazy thinking I need to fix everything.... I'm feeling much better now just knowing I don't need to control it anymore. Just let the chips fall where they may. I'm. Starting here and eventually I will go to a real live meeting.

grateful2be · grateful2be

Two days in a row I have driven to our local buy all that you need, want and don't want zoo. Both days I have noticed the noisy overhead music, the busy bustling of customers pushing carts, yelling on cellphones, impatiently waiting for another customer to move away from the shelf that holds the waitin...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Oooh Catherine just suggested in a post the idea of looking at 3 "gains" we have made since deciding to move on. I like this idea very much and I think I'll add it to my daily al-anon exercises. It's a goody. So here is my first one. I have gained the freedom to be happy, or sad, or grumpy or giggly o...

Debilyn · Debilyn

It's freaking cold here in ole Oregon. I think back to other winters being stuck with a sick A who never smiled and how heavy it made me inside. Well now i am heavy on the outside from being too happy. lol Life is good, a couple friends and I rescued four pot bellied pigs from being eaten, gross. So I am enjoyi...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today I am grateful. For being in a house where one can sing a silly song at the top of ones lungs, and other voices will chime in from somewhere in the house. For example whilst I was cooking dinner tonight I inadvertently began quietly singing "one potato two potato three potato four" and a f...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

These last few days have been really hard. I finally have divorce papers in my hand, ready to have AH served. I just have to call a process server because I've decided not to have anyone I know serve him the papers. the papers are giving me flashbacks of when my ex mother in law handed me divorce papers from...

jmc · jmc

My husband and I have been arguing and ignoring one another for the past week because I caught him drinking vodka that he was hiding in his truck. He works really long hours and I think it's because he does'nt want to be around me at home. He has promised AGAIN that he is done with vodka but I have heard it a th...

Compliments · Compliments

Oh boy I know I have lots to learn, but what i am learning is confusing me , why must I accept and why must i be the one to change , I am not a drinker , I do not abuse, I care deep and love deep only to be abused by an alcoholic, not only an alcholic but a workaolic why can't he change , why can't he see that he is about t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, I am going to make this brief. I am so grateful for the timing of God & how he works in my life. Yesterday I broke a tooth. I was wondering if it could be fixed so I made a call to the local clinic. I was very surprised to hear that they would take me in not like they haven't before. Anyhow I had to travel 60...

Mattie · Mattie

...that the A will be in denial, and that we will always be tempted just to 'explain' how their addiction is damaging so they will wise up. I can see that A's never wholly lose the temptation to drink - constant vigilence is necessary - and I never lose the temptation to tell my A how harmful his actions are...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Welll. . Its saturday nite. My daughter is not home tonight and my ah claims to be on his way home. Which for him on a saturd is pretty unusual. Hes typically out doing his thing. Its been a rough week. . Long story there but the last few days have been down right tense. He is in chronc pain, tryong to drink les...

Mirandac · Mirandac

It feels so good to be healing emotionally. I have not lived with my dry ah for 4 months. He still acts the same toward me but i am not subjected to it constantly so i have slowly begun to heal. He acts normal to other people and situations just not with me or about me. It is very hard to heal when you are in th...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I understand and fully accept that I am absolutely powerless over my husband's addiction to alcohol. I am powerless over what it does and is doing to him, BUT, I am not powerless over what it does to me, not any longer. I can choose to continue burying my head in the sand and live in the illusion that I can...

mjferg · mjferg

I feel anxious today,my ex called again last night,I did not answer the phone.I have made it very clear on several occasions that I was done with this relationship.He is also good friends with my neighbor and he has been calling him and asking him what I am doing!He said he doesn't tell him anything,I ho...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

Recovery, what is it? What does it look like? How can I get it? I looked at many definitions, many of which applied to alcohol and drug addiction. Since I am not an alcoholic nor am I addicted to drugs (still working on my caffeine addiction), I was not comfortable with these definitions. Then, I found th...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I am sleepless tonight, I am meant to have class in 6 hours or so and I am just turning it over and over in my mind. One of the biggest gifts I think i have received in al-anon so far (and there have been SO many) is the ability to handle the truth instead of trying to manipulate and sugar coat it. Even if it makes...

tucanojk · tucanojk

Can anyone tell me where one can find an a CAL approved Al Anon Meeting in a Pocket? AA has a couple of Meeting in a Pocket books available to all. I have a draft that our home group is using and really finds helpful.

Truth · Truth

Well I must have hit another wave today ....because after months now I finally feel resentful. Funny how that happens... Before I just felt scared, unsafe and angry enough to make a change and put in boundaries. Then I started to observe behaviors and really started to figure out what I liked and don...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Have anyone of you were so emotionally tired and lonely that u made up fantasies about people u know who would make a partner.?

neshema2 · neshema2

Today I get up and I say "Good morning Creator, how can i be of service today??? How can I bring smiles to at least one face??? Let me give laughter and joy today" and I thanked Creator... Went to work in the freezing cold, its like 30% out and thats pressing it....I arrive at work and everyone...

grateful2be · grateful2be

In my spare bedroom/office, there is a white duvet over the twin bed with pillow slips to match. For accent and whimsy, I've placed a large, plush Christmas elf with moveable floppy arms and legs. The doll is about one foot and a half long and maybe six inches across the middle of her chest. I have not...

grateful2be · grateful2be

An old Cherokee grandfather was talking with his grandson near a warm campfire that lit up the night. They could hear the wolves howling in the night. Grandfather said: "There are two wolves in each of us. There's a battle raging between them. One is evil - he represents fear, doubt, self-p...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

This semester so far I has been rough and I am currently taking a clinical and 2 lecture classes until right before Christmas. I have a fun trip planned for 3 nights with the boyfriend and kids after Christmas and before my next classes start January 5. When I say I need a break, I just mean for the crapp...

neshema2 · neshema2

don't know if I told you all ANOTHER of my refurbs i was buying from this guy went down 2 weeks ago...it was my work machine....i was in a panic!!!! my quickbooks was on it, my tax stuff....disaster city... i text the guy b/c i don't have time to fix it and he doesn't reply...its business hours so no worrie...

mjferg · mjferg

I haven't posted in a while,I came down with a bad head cold so I kind of just shut down and gave myself permission to deal with my cold and not stress about emotions or recovery.I received a phone call from my ex, it had been a while since I talked to him, well, I answered the phone and it was pretty much the sa...

hopes314 · hopes314

I found out my spouse has been drinking again. I feel like I am teetering on crazy. The lies.. unbelievable! Is it possible to raise 3 kids on my own with no family support? What do i do stay in a marriage because I can't afford a lawyer. So scared to be in a marriage like this. I just have no good choices i...

neshema2 · neshema2

I think I have been a closet agnostic all these years and due to some sort of shame or sense of failure or just thinking I am less then b/c I cannot really embrace a diety outside of myselfI stayed in the closet, hoping that program could help me find G-d as referenced in the 12 steps, not understanding that...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Help needed for 28 year old daughter (Preview) I am a newbie to this site. I joined in hopes of getting some ideas on how to help my daughter. She is 28 years old and has everything going for her, a college degree, a good job, people that love her, etc.. However, she has a depression problem, which she won't discuss. And her answer is the bottle. No...	4Horses	6	703	Nov 22, 2014 by 4Horses
	my 28-year-old daughter is alcoholic to the extreme (Preview) Long story as short as I can tell it, last year this time we had a full-on intervention, had an interventionist fly in from California to where we live in NY. We ambushed her, and she finally agreed to go into a 3 month rehab in Utah. Here we are a year later and she is in her 3rd detox in Utah. This time is home...	dizbee	27	7521	Nov 22, 2014 by el-cee
	Yay...for more opportunities to practice my program...lol. (Preview) Sigh, I put in a lot of work to make sure the old place was well and truly clean and orderly, I had the few bits of damaged plaster repaired flawlessly and painted, the gardens were good and the agent said the place was great, "damage free" and asked me to go back and dust again and "remove t...	missmeliss	6	671	Nov 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	Giggling felt good today (Preview) I am learning to laugh at myself in my martial arts class. I am quickly approaching 50 and my goal is to get my black belt before then...I am on track. So I was laughing at myself, then I heard a guy in my class moaning and groaning. He is in his late 50's. He tells us about his health problems, and he also laugh...	Newlife girl	2	574	Nov 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	new to alanon (Preview) So im new to this board as well as my alanon meetings. I told my AH a few weeks ago that i was starting therapy and would be going to meetings to make me stronger. Definitely did not like the idea of it being that our town is small amd doesn't want us to be airing our dirty laundry. Just my presence there he said...	Pat916	5	843	Nov 21, 2014 by PP
	shining a light on dark places (Preview) I am feeling much better today!What a journey this has been.I feel like Bilbo Baggins leaving the comfort of the Shire going to slay the dragon!I am a hopeless romantic,by the way and I love whimsy!I realize as I face each demon from my past,painful as it is,I heal and grow.I realize I can't change the p...	mjferg	13	904	Nov 21, 2014 by el-cee
	I AM a miracle in progress. (Preview) Wonder of wonder miracle or miracles...I wouldn't be here if I wasn't a miracle. I think even my birth was a miracle. And, to top it off, I am still a miracle. God put me here to carry the message. And, I intend to do something for someone every day as I am able. You see the key to happiness is not what you have i...	Hoot Nanny	4	622	Nov 20, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Pfft!!!!! (Preview) It's sort of coming from all sides just now. But I think I'm coping OK. Excuse the fact that there is a lot of grizzling in this post. I think it's all coming from a reasonably healthy place as I become accustomed to not responding to garbage from the garbologists in my life. Mother has returned from her ho...	missmeliss	35	926	Nov 20, 2014 by Newlife girl
	This morning, aragh! (Preview) AH and I had to go to a meeting at our local council this morning, accompanied by a young official chap. There was a long wait, about an hour, before we could go in, and lots of other people were also waiting to see this particular council official. Anyway, AH and our young chap were chatting away and I wa...	milkwood	11	876	Nov 20, 2014 by milkwood
	Help, please (Preview) I am having a panicky moment here and would like some feedback. I have had a male spiritual director for many years. He is an older, gay gentlemen who has been a wonderful mentor. In the many years of my husbands addictions and into the early years of his recovery, he was jealous and very suspicious t...	PP	26	1049	Nov 20, 2014 by Breakingfree
	to be judged on your foo (Preview) I know this is probably a case of qtip but it feels so real! I'm very hypersensitive of late, it's truly hideous. Anyway today I received a cloak and dagger dig on my familial background through my stbx mil through my ah. Its regarding an aunt who is a whackjob drunk coda drug abuser....how my cousins sur...	aquamom23	7	915	Nov 20, 2014 by PP
	welcoming Lillian Rebecca! (Preview) I would like to announce the birth of my granddaughter, Lillian Rebecca. She was born tonight at 9:21 weighing 6lbs 10.9 ozs. She is beautiful. Thank you God for blessing us with a healthy baby.	cloudyskies	15	792	Nov 20, 2014 by missmeliss
	Just referred son to alanon Gone full circle (Preview) Things have just gone full circle. I came to Alanon when my son started drinking as a teen. I grew up with an alcoholic dad & I am a dual program woman. I am also in AA. So my son was also raised by an alcoholic. He has the same broken picker that I had when I came to Alanon. My heart breaks as I see him goin...	katiemac	7	575	Nov 20, 2014 by katiemac
	the women of my island (Preview) orare hard headed. Over the generations, much has changed, humility has given way to ego. The island is alcoholic. Every single person living on it qualifies for alanon. I think its long been this way. Only I recall a fiesty lineage that was strong yet soft. Today I bumped into a fellow islander accide...	aquamom23	13	915	Nov 20, 2014 by aquamom23
	Wife's first birthday is Saturday (Preview) My AW will have her first sober anniversary this Saturday. It's a big day for her of course, and I am very proud of her. I want to get her a present, but I'm the most unimaginative present-giver in the world. Anybody have any ideas? Of course, any idea should cost nothing and require no work (just kiddi...	KennyFenderjazz	39	1089	Nov 20, 2014 by milkwood
	Using my tools (Preview) As I mentioned a little while ago, a friend told me some things that suggested my A has started a downward slide, after many years of stability. He arrived tonight to pick up our child, and he was plastered. And he looked really terrible - disheveled, slurring, pants unzipped. This has never happened...	Mattie	15	726	Nov 19, 2014 by neshema2
	Living with an Alcoholic (Preview) When the river of denial faded, I woke up to find an alcoholic who I allowed to enmesh my life. I realized I didn't have any friends and he kept me to himself. Wow.. I ran to alnon. I have been married for 14 years to an alcoholic. About 3 years ago, I got on his case and suggested that he might be drinking too...	jpebbles	10	963	Nov 18, 2014 by bud
	wife,don't fail me. (Preview) its very hard to get rid of an a. Mine won't go. Just flat out will.not.go. And without creating a violent scene, I'm not sure how to force it. Let me be clear that the violence would probably be mine,as I am a volatile person when I feel caged.though I heard something great from a fellow alanoner,who advi...	aquamom23	17	1060	Nov 18, 2014 by bud
	Feeling alone, need to get this off my chest (Preview) I writing this here because I'm not sure if I'll ever get it out - and at this point I feel so incredibly alone. I know that I have not been a good person. I have lied. A lot. And I have not been true to myself, or others. I have not been a good wife, and I can't really tell you why. But I haven't. Maybe I'm just not a...	HockeyMom25	15	793	Nov 18, 2014 by bud
	Married women past or present reaction (Preview) Mahalo to my MIP sisters for the input, the honest shares in this post started by Aquamom. Honestly I've read thru it several times because of the open honesty you all brought to it. The last couple of times I read it with my heart and not my head which is where men often come from and I get to remember ge...	Jerry F	8	683	Nov 18, 2014 by cloudyskies
	HP puts people in your life for a reason (Preview) I was reading a book that discusses how people you come across are there for a reason. Today I got a reminder of why I left AH. There was a man in front of me at the store who smelled strongly of alcohol and he was buying more. I felt nervous and sick to my stomach. Thank you HP for another reminder of why I choo...	Newlife girl	5	654	Nov 18, 2014 by cloudyskies
	How did this happen??? last week I am thinking I am agnostic---This week I am the defense for HP???? (Preview) So its been what....a week ?? a bit more??? Since one of the deepest posts I have written was submitted??? I am struggling w/ the HP thingy and you all had to spiritually "shore me up" so I could get a perspective??? Well WHO in their wildest dreams would want ME to share with them steps 2, 3, or...	neshema2	7	544	Nov 18, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Not if I can help it... (Preview) That might sound like the motto of the enabler and the fixer and it carries though years of recovery and input from my sponsorship. "If I can help it" means today that I will think it thru before making whatever decision I need to make in order to get the consequence I'm looking for. Thin...	Jerry F	10	1182	Nov 18, 2014 by el-cee
	Do you think it's "different" when the A is your adult child? (Preview) Whether your child is "a child" (when it is understood that you have full responsibility as a parent to care and provide for that child), or your child is "an adult" ( adult in years, but perhaps that child never assumed adult responsibility for him or herself?), you and that chi...	lgnutah	7	625	Nov 18, 2014 by Jerry F
	is he going to speed up his death??? is this REAL??? either way, step one, here I come!!! (Preview) Called my A brother yesterday....I had a "feeling" when he called me and left VM... So I call him and he says "haaay sissy, glad you called me back" and the convo seemed to go "ok" for a while...and then the bombshell.. Rewind just for a bit: Don't know if i told you a mon...	neshema2	13	734	Nov 17, 2014 by hotrod
	married women past or present (Preview) is it really possible to detach from an alcoholic and still be married? How? I struggle with this. I don't believe I enable my husband by taking his consequences on his behalf. I don't lie for him,cover for him or any of that. I have over the last year been flying off the handle when he breaks promises and g...	aquamom23	31	1422	Nov 17, 2014 by Green Eyes
	A bit nervous. (Preview) Remember when I was expecting a visit from a social worker last week? Well, that didn't happen last week but today instead. The Social Worker came here to visit, she is a very nice lady. She asked daughter a few questions about what makes her nervous/sad/unhappy etc and daughter mentioned 'fighting g...	Luiza	7	763	Nov 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	weekend: time to relax! (Preview) Just to make a note today: I had a wonderful weekend to relax & enjoy. After my day Friday. I felt the blessings of God even further. I am truly blessed & I had to share it. It resonated w/ me all weekend & even today. What a joy it is when things go my way. I am not going to let the negative spill int...	Hoot Nanny	2	374	Nov 17, 2014 by hotrod
	Shutting down when he drinks (Preview) I usually react to his drinking in a less than graceful way and he seems self centered as indicated in the disease of addictions. I met him and married him knowing of his addictions, but not his alcohol addiction. It's not every day to my knowledge but when I ask, he become agitated and I end up frustrate...	hunyboo74	6	869	Nov 17, 2014 by hunyboo74
	Detaching with love (Preview) ....for me means, no more giving advice, no lectures, nagging, no guilt tripping, emotional blackmail, no more tears, trying to control or fix, it means live and let live. Allowing the alcoholic the full affects of their disease. This is the kindest thing and loving thing we can do, anything else is...	el-cee	25	1064	Nov 17, 2014 by Breakingfree
	New Here - admitting I need help (Preview) I find myself struggling with the fact that I am seeking out help to deal with the situation that I never thought I would find myself in: being in a relationship with an alcoholic. I think I'm finally ready to admit that I can't continue doing this on my own, despite how strong and capable I like to think t...	orchidlife	11	769	Nov 17, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Al anon gives you tools to use in life...sometimes it has nothing to do with alcohol (Preview) So...I was with my sister today. I am trying to teach her Al anon tools when dealing with her husband. He is not alcoholic. anyway, he can really pick on my sister. today she was washing grapes for the kids to eat. He told her she was doing it wrong, and she should have wiped them off with a paper towel too. Sh...	Newlife girl	6	650	Nov 17, 2014 by Hoot Nanny
	new experience (Preview) AlAnon has taught many tools that I use on a daily basis that help me through the day. However I was not prepared for the serenity have been experiencing. I love this peaceful feeling. I've always lived my life in chaos. Since I started the program bits of peace and happiness started to enter my life and n...	texasgal	4	372	Nov 17, 2014 by milkwood
	Being in control. (Preview) This is my first time with Alanon. I've been going a little crazy thinking I need to fix everything.... I'm feeling much better now just knowing I don't need to control it anymore. Just let the chips fall where they may. I'm. Starting here and eventually I will go to a real live meeting.	Birdofparadise	26	1143	Nov 17, 2014 by Birdofparadise
	Presence and a child as teacher (Preview) Two days in a row I have driven to our local buy all that you need, want and don't want zoo. Both days I have noticed the noisy overhead music, the busy bustling of customers pushing carts, yelling on cellphones, impatiently waiting for another customer to move away from the shelf that holds the waitin...	grateful2be	8	848	Nov 17, 2014 by milkwood
	3 gains. (Preview) Oooh Catherine just suggested in a post the idea of looking at 3 "gains" we have made since deciding to move on. I like this idea very much and I think I'll add it to my daily al-anon exercises. It's a goody. So here is my first one. I have gained the freedom to be happy, or sad, or grumpy or giggly o...	missmeliss	7	837	Nov 17, 2014 by milkwood
	frozen (Preview) It's freaking cold here in ole Oregon. I think back to other winters being stuck with a sick A who never smiled and how heavy it made me inside. Well now i am heavy on the outside from being too happy. lol Life is good, a couple friends and I rescued four pot bellied pigs from being eaten, gross. So I am enjoyi...	Debilyn	7	641	Nov 17, 2014 by milkwood
	Today I am grateful. (Preview) Today I am grateful. For being in a house where one can sing a silly song at the top of ones lungs, and other voices will chime in from somewhere in the house. For example whilst I was cooking dinner tonight I inadvertently began quietly singing "one potato two potato three potato four" and a f...	missmeliss	11	717	Nov 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	I feel defeated (Preview) These last few days have been really hard. I finally have divorce papers in my hand, ready to have AH served. I just have to call a process server because I've decided not to have anyone I know serve him the papers. the papers are giving me flashbacks of when my ex mother in law handed me divorce papers from...	Newlife girl	16	798	Nov 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	Advise needed for strength... (Preview) My husband and I have been arguing and ignoring one another for the past week because I caught him drinking vodka that he was hiding in his truck. He works really long hours and I think it's because he does'nt want to be around me at home. He has promised AGAIN that he is done with vodka but I have heard it a th...	jmc	10	780	Nov 16, 2014 by neshema2
	trying to understand the process (Preview) Oh boy I know I have lots to learn, but what i am learning is confusing me , why must I accept and why must i be the one to change , I am not a drinker , I do not abuse, I care deep and love deep only to be abused by an alcoholic, not only an alcholic but a workaolic why can't he change , why can't he see that he is about t...	Compliments	9	713	Nov 16, 2014 by Debilyn
	HP at work (Preview) So, I am going to make this brief. I am so grateful for the timing of God & how he works in my life. Yesterday I broke a tooth. I was wondering if it could be fixed so I made a call to the local clinic. I was very surprised to hear that they would take me in not like they haven't before. Anyhow I had to travel 60...	Hoot Nanny	3	781	Nov 16, 2014 by Jen
	We hold these truths to be self-evident... (Preview) ...that the A will be in denial, and that we will always be tempted just to 'explain' how their addiction is damaging so they will wise up. I can see that A's never wholly lose the temptation to drink - constant vigilence is necessary - and I never lose the temptation to tell my A how harmful his actions are...	Mattie	14	834	Nov 16, 2014 by Jen
	it doesnt get any easier (Preview) Welll. . Its saturday nite. My daughter is not home tonight and my ah claims to be on his way home. Which for him on a saturd is pretty unusual. Hes typically out doing his thing. Its been a rough week. . Long story there but the last few days have been down right tense. He is in chronc pain, tryong to drink les...	Theoceancalls	13	956	Nov 16, 2014 by neshema2
	Healing (Preview) It feels so good to be healing emotionally. I have not lived with my dry ah for 4 months. He still acts the same toward me but i am not subjected to it constantly so i have slowly begun to heal. He acts normal to other people and situations just not with me or about me. It is very hard to heal when you are in th...	Mirandac	13	683	Nov 16, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Power over Alcohol (Preview) I understand and fully accept that I am absolutely powerless over my husband's addiction to alcohol. I am powerless over what it does and is doing to him, BUT, I am not powerless over what it does to me, not any longer. I can choose to continue burying my head in the sand and live in the illusion that I can...	cloudyskies	14	902	Nov 16, 2014 by cloudyskies
	anxiety and boundaries (Preview) I feel anxious today,my ex called again last night,I did not answer the phone.I have made it very clear on several occasions that I was done with this relationship.He is also good friends with my neighbor and he has been calling him and asking him what I am doing!He said he doesn't tell him anything,I ho...	mjferg	7	974	Nov 15, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Recovery (Preview) Recovery, what is it? What does it look like? How can I get it? I looked at many definitions, many of which applied to alcohol and drug addiction. Since I am not an alcoholic nor am I addicted to drugs (still working on my caffeine addiction), I was not comfortable with these definitions. Then, I found th...	cloudyskies	6	586	Nov 15, 2014 by cloudyskies
	But I don't WANNA go to school tomorrow... (Preview) I am sleepless tonight, I am meant to have class in 6 hours or so and I am just turning it over and over in my mind. One of the biggest gifts I think i have received in al-anon so far (and there have been SO many) is the ability to handle the truth instead of trying to manipulate and sugar coat it. Even if it makes...	missmeliss	15	966	Nov 15, 2014 by Debilyn
	CAL Approved Al Anon Meeting in a Pocket? (Preview) Can anyone tell me where one can find an a CAL approved Al Anon Meeting in a Pocket? AA has a couple of Meeting in a Pocket books available to all. I have a draft that our home group is using and really finds helpful.	tucanojk	2	685	Nov 15, 2014 by Courage
	Today I feel resentful... (Preview) Well I must have hit another wave today ....because after months now I finally feel resentful. Funny how that happens... Before I just felt scared, unsafe and angry enough to make a change and put in boundaries. Then I started to observe behaviors and really started to figure out what I liked and don...	Truth	14	912	Nov 15, 2014 by neshema2
	TIRED/LONELY WIFE OF AH 25YRS (Preview) Have anyone of you were so emotionally tired and lonely that u made up fantasies about people u know who would make a partner.?	YARNCRAZY	9	972	Nov 15, 2014 by Jerry F
	Be careful about what you ask HP for (Preview) Today I get up and I say "Good morning Creator, how can i be of service today??? How can I bring smiles to at least one face??? Let me give laughter and joy today" and I thanked Creator... Went to work in the freezing cold, its like 30% out and thats pressing it....I arrive at work and everyone...	neshema2	4	678	Nov 15, 2014 by PP
	On shame - and cats (Preview) In my spare bedroom/office, there is a white duvet over the twin bed with pillow slips to match. For accent and whimsy, I've placed a large, plush Christmas elf with moveable floppy arms and legs. The doll is about one foot and a half long and maybe six inches across the middle of her chest. I have not...	grateful2be	20	941	Nov 14, 2014 by milkwood
	A campfire story (Preview) An old Cherokee grandfather was talking with his grandson near a warm campfire that lit up the night. They could hear the wolves howling in the night. Grandfather said: "There are two wolves in each of us. There's a battle raging between them. One is evil - he represents fear, doubt, self-p...	grateful2be	20	826	Nov 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	I just kind of need a break! (Preview) This semester so far I has been rough and I am currently taking a clinical and 2 lecture classes until right before Christmas. I have a fun trip planned for 3 nights with the boyfriend and kids after Christmas and before my next classes start January 5. When I say I need a break, I just mean for the crapp...	Breakingfree	11	977	Nov 14, 2014 by bud
	When I THINK I need someone "that bad" I need to trust and think again!!! (Preview) don't know if I told you all ANOTHER of my refurbs i was buying from this guy went down 2 weeks ago...it was my work machine....i was in a panic!!!! my quickbooks was on it, my tax stuff....disaster city... i text the guy b/c i don't have time to fix it and he doesn't reply...its business hours so no worrie...	neshema2	14	646	Nov 14, 2014 by bud
	manipulation! (Preview) I haven't posted in a while,I came down with a bad head cold so I kind of just shut down and gave myself permission to deal with my cold and not stress about emotions or recovery.I received a phone call from my ex, it had been a while since I talked to him, well, I answered the phone and it was pretty much the sa...	mjferg	6	580	Nov 14, 2014 by bud
	what can i do (Preview) I found out my spouse has been drinking again. I feel like I am teetering on crazy. The lies.. unbelievable! Is it possible to raise 3 kids on my own with no family support? What do i do stay in a marriage because I can't afford a lawyer. So scared to be in a marriage like this. I just have no good choices i...	hopes314	7	798	Nov 14, 2014 by bud
	A closet Agnostic?? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I think I have been a closet agnostic all these years and due to some sort of shame or sense of failure or just thinking I am less then b/c I cannot really embrace a diety outside of myselfI stayed in the closet, hoping that program could help me find G-d as referenced in the 12 steps, not understanding that...	neshema2	55	1642	Nov 13, 2014 by bud
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.