Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

texasgal · texasgal

AlAnon has taught many tools that I use on a daily basis that help me through the day. However I was not prepared for the serenity have been experiencing. I love this peaceful feeling. I've always lived my life in chaos. Since I started the program bits of peace and happiness started to enter my life and n...

Birdofparadise · Birdofparadise

This is my first time with Alanon. I've been going a little crazy thinking I need to fix everything.... I'm feeling much better now just knowing I don't need to control it anymore. Just let the chips fall where they may. I'm. Starting here and eventually I will go to a real live meeting.

grateful2be · grateful2be

Two days in a row I have driven to our local buy all that you need, want and don't want zoo. Both days I have noticed the noisy overhead music, the busy bustling of customers pushing carts, yelling on cellphones, impatiently waiting for another customer to move away from the shelf that holds the waitin...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Oooh Catherine just suggested in a post the idea of looking at 3 "gains" we have made since deciding to move on. I like this idea very much and I think I'll add it to my daily al-anon exercises. It's a goody. So here is my first one. I have gained the freedom to be happy, or sad, or grumpy or giggly o...

Debilyn · Debilyn

It's freaking cold here in ole Oregon. I think back to other winters being stuck with a sick A who never smiled and how heavy it made me inside. Well now i am heavy on the outside from being too happy. lol Life is good, a couple friends and I rescued four pot bellied pigs from being eaten, gross. So I am enjoyi...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today I am grateful. For being in a house where one can sing a silly song at the top of ones lungs, and other voices will chime in from somewhere in the house. For example whilst I was cooking dinner tonight I inadvertently began quietly singing "one potato two potato three potato four" and a f...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

These last few days have been really hard. I finally have divorce papers in my hand, ready to have AH served. I just have to call a process server because I've decided not to have anyone I know serve him the papers. the papers are giving me flashbacks of when my ex mother in law handed me divorce papers from...

jmc · jmc

My husband and I have been arguing and ignoring one another for the past week because I caught him drinking vodka that he was hiding in his truck. He works really long hours and I think it's because he does'nt want to be around me at home. He has promised AGAIN that he is done with vodka but I have heard it a th...

Compliments · Compliments

Oh boy I know I have lots to learn, but what i am learning is confusing me , why must I accept and why must i be the one to change , I am not a drinker , I do not abuse, I care deep and love deep only to be abused by an alcoholic, not only an alcholic but a workaolic why can't he change , why can't he see that he is about t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, I am going to make this brief. I am so grateful for the timing of God & how he works in my life. Yesterday I broke a tooth. I was wondering if it could be fixed so I made a call to the local clinic. I was very surprised to hear that they would take me in not like they haven't before. Anyhow I had to travel 60...

Mattie · Mattie

...that the A will be in denial, and that we will always be tempted just to 'explain' how their addiction is damaging so they will wise up. I can see that A's never wholly lose the temptation to drink - constant vigilence is necessary - and I never lose the temptation to tell my A how harmful his actions are...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Welll. . Its saturday nite. My daughter is not home tonight and my ah claims to be on his way home. Which for him on a saturd is pretty unusual. Hes typically out doing his thing. Its been a rough week. . Long story there but the last few days have been down right tense. He is in chronc pain, tryong to drink les...

Mirandac · Mirandac

It feels so good to be healing emotionally. I have not lived with my dry ah for 4 months. He still acts the same toward me but i am not subjected to it constantly so i have slowly begun to heal. He acts normal to other people and situations just not with me or about me. It is very hard to heal when you are in th...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I understand and fully accept that I am absolutely powerless over my husband's addiction to alcohol. I am powerless over what it does and is doing to him, BUT, I am not powerless over what it does to me, not any longer. I can choose to continue burying my head in the sand and live in the illusion that I can...

mjferg · mjferg

I feel anxious today,my ex called again last night,I did not answer the phone.I have made it very clear on several occasions that I was done with this relationship.He is also good friends with my neighbor and he has been calling him and asking him what I am doing!He said he doesn't tell him anything,I ho...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

Recovery, what is it? What does it look like? How can I get it? I looked at many definitions, many of which applied to alcohol and drug addiction. Since I am not an alcoholic nor am I addicted to drugs (still working on my caffeine addiction), I was not comfortable with these definitions. Then, I found th...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I am sleepless tonight, I am meant to have class in 6 hours or so and I am just turning it over and over in my mind. One of the biggest gifts I think i have received in al-anon so far (and there have been SO many) is the ability to handle the truth instead of trying to manipulate and sugar coat it. Even if it makes...

tucanojk · tucanojk

Can anyone tell me where one can find an a CAL approved Al Anon Meeting in a Pocket? AA has a couple of Meeting in a Pocket books available to all. I have a draft that our home group is using and really finds helpful.

Truth · Truth

Well I must have hit another wave today ....because after months now I finally feel resentful. Funny how that happens... Before I just felt scared, unsafe and angry enough to make a change and put in boundaries. Then I started to observe behaviors and really started to figure out what I liked and don...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Have anyone of you were so emotionally tired and lonely that u made up fantasies about people u know who would make a partner.?

neshema2 · neshema2

Today I get up and I say "Good morning Creator, how can i be of service today??? How can I bring smiles to at least one face??? Let me give laughter and joy today" and I thanked Creator... Went to work in the freezing cold, its like 30% out and thats pressing it....I arrive at work and everyone...

grateful2be · grateful2be

In my spare bedroom/office, there is a white duvet over the twin bed with pillow slips to match. For accent and whimsy, I've placed a large, plush Christmas elf with moveable floppy arms and legs. The doll is about one foot and a half long and maybe six inches across the middle of her chest. I have not...

grateful2be · grateful2be

An old Cherokee grandfather was talking with his grandson near a warm campfire that lit up the night. They could hear the wolves howling in the night. Grandfather said: "There are two wolves in each of us. There's a battle raging between them. One is evil - he represents fear, doubt, self-p...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

This semester so far I has been rough and I am currently taking a clinical and 2 lecture classes until right before Christmas. I have a fun trip planned for 3 nights with the boyfriend and kids after Christmas and before my next classes start January 5. When I say I need a break, I just mean for the crapp...

neshema2 · neshema2

don't know if I told you all ANOTHER of my refurbs i was buying from this guy went down 2 weeks ago...it was my work machine....i was in a panic!!!! my quickbooks was on it, my tax stuff....disaster city... i text the guy b/c i don't have time to fix it and he doesn't reply...its business hours so no worrie...

mjferg · mjferg

I haven't posted in a while,I came down with a bad head cold so I kind of just shut down and gave myself permission to deal with my cold and not stress about emotions or recovery.I received a phone call from my ex, it had been a while since I talked to him, well, I answered the phone and it was pretty much the sa...

hopes314 · hopes314

I found out my spouse has been drinking again. I feel like I am teetering on crazy. The lies.. unbelievable! Is it possible to raise 3 kids on my own with no family support? What do i do stay in a marriage because I can't afford a lawyer. So scared to be in a marriage like this. I just have no good choices i...

neshema2 · neshema2

I think I have been a closet agnostic all these years and due to some sort of shame or sense of failure or just thinking I am less then b/c I cannot really embrace a diety outside of myselfI stayed in the closet, hoping that program could help me find G-d as referenced in the 12 steps, not understanding that...

neshema2 · neshema2

TODAY I slept in and stayed warm on my day off, curled up in my blankets dreaming of happy things did laundry for my pets, washed their favorite towels on which they cuddle during cold season jacked up the heat JUST a BIT to treat me while I did my laundry Made myself a GREAT shake, now with peanut butter in i...

el-cee · el-cee

Sorry about my last post, confusing as it was. Ive kind of got peed off with alanon lately. Ive been working it for nearly 3 years, I love it, its changed my life but... im Still working it, im not cured. I know this is not rational or logic. High expectations are dodgy. Ive realised my shortcomings that he...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This will be a quick post. I am losing things & finding things & losing things again. I have no control over what happens. My mind is going slowly. But, I still have good days of course. Sometimes I have bad weeks! I am just going through a time. I am not going to keep things from my AH. He is not a thre...

jmc · jmc

Wow, So, I am new here and not even sure if I am in the right place. I am slowly coming to terms that my husband ,of over 11 years ,is an alcoholic. My heart is broke. He hides vodka all of the time and is always sorry about his lies but constantly continues to repeat the same mistakes over and over and over. We h...

Luiza · Luiza

So today exH went to collect daughter at school. I checked with him a lot of times that the arrangement was still on and that he has to take her to her choir practice at 5 and bring her straight back home when it finishes at 6. So she should be back home before 6.30. At 6.15 my friend from choir calls me to ask wh...

PP · PP

My father has dementia. My relationship with him has been painful and now it has become even more so as his disease progresses and his skills (which were already poor) at the filtering of his rage and narcissism is diminished. This weekend and some of the posts here recently have brought to the surf...

59lfva · 59lfva

Here I go again. This time it is not my father, sister, or husband. It's my grandchild's alcoholic custodial father who insists she must return to him. My grandchild has run away now for the third time etc. You all know that story. My grandchild has come to me this time. My heart can't send her back to him....

PP · PP

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CCEQyCkwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D89h7JC85KHE&ei=ANhkVNKAOISmgwSpxIHgAw&usg=AFQjCNFkh4c0I91b7Ger_vY...

tpotterf · tpotterf

I am totally new here so please no hate if I am doing something I am not supposed to do ok. I need some advice and a place to talk. I am 49, happily married for 28 years and have a wonderful 14 year old daughter. Raised by total alcoholic parents. My husband and I rarely drink. I haven't spoken to my abusi...

beckon11 · beckon11

Hi all. I feel so alone and rejected by my own mother. We have been close for a lifetime. Yet over Her illness. Bipolar and dry drunks she completelyDisowned me. Also fought to disinherit me from our coowned property. I went from being her favorite. To being her enemy. My siblings also took their big...

Turris · Turris

Hi Guys, Long time no see! Glad to be back! I'm currently under a lot of pressure; looking for a new job and apartment etc, and the stress is erupting as anxiety and insomnia. Last night I went to bed at 10:30 pm, and at 6 am I was still wide awake! (It is currently 14:56 here, where I am writing from). I tho...

jmc · jmc

I must say that I am happy that I came across this site and everything I have read so far is very helpful. So many people here have given me a bit more hope but as I sit here, ready for bed, I just feel sad and overwhelmed by emotions. It's easy for me to keep myself busy throughout the day with my kids, my home, m...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I put this on my first Geez thread and decided that it might be better to start a new thread. As of yesterday's news, the stolen snowplow story got changed to stolen snowplow blades, hydraulic parts and a trailer which seems so much more feasible to me than entire snowplows. Even so, according to the ne...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I have been having a lot of bladder problems lately, and my urologist says I am having bladder spasms from caffeine. I always have one cup of coffee in the morning, but I drink cokes all day long. Apparently, it's the cokes causing my problem. Well, I have cut my coke consumption in half, and I am having te...

Mikeys Mom · Mikeys Mom

I have a boy of 25 living with me. He grew up with my kids and now rents an extra bedroom from me, But he is like a son to me and doesn't get much (has never gotten) parenting from his actual parents. He is drinking way too much and way too heavily. To black out state several times a week, often accompanied by ra...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Today AH have been married for 12 years. Not divorced yet...but that's the next step. I find myself angry, sad and really depressed. I just finished working my usual work stretch of 4 days in a row. I will finally say this, as I am not sure if I have already or not...and I just don't think it's a huge deal if I...

Mellie · Mellie

I am brand new. I am worried sick about my teen son. He never wants to be home because I know he is out there partying. He just started a job and called out on his 4th day of work. I haven't seen him since Thurs night. But I know where he is. I text and call him all the time but he doesn't usually get back to m...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

I have a friend that, now that I have moved, lives 1 1/2 miles away. We are old friends, from college. We don't get together a lot because we don't have that much in common, but we do get together occasionally and love each other to death. Much like he's a family member. He's been having back problems, s...

el-cee · el-cee

Sometimes ive got a real urge to get to the nitty gritty, to say what isnt really said. To let it out there without the excuses, you know? To shake it up and stir it up. I get restless in the peace. I cant find progress in the peace. I know alanons about taking it slow, or is it really? If we knew freedom was wait...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Here's the deal: I'm introverted. This means I do little without first looking at "how will this affect me" rather than the extroverted "now what I can I do with this." I have some extroverted friends in program who go dancing every Monday. One of them invited me to meet her l...

Angelado1976 · Angelado1976

I live in NC and at the moment I am only allowing him supervised visitation but for when ever and as long as he wants. He doesn't choose to see her much but lately he has been claiming to be sober by sheer will he still refuses AA or any treatment program. Knowing his plan is to eventually take this to court...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I read a lot of comments here about the tendencies of the A spouse. They seem to tend to be the unloving one, the nasty one, the one who doesn't appreciate their spouse. In our situation, I seem to be all that. But part of it is because my H is passive. And crazy making. He does things that drive me crazy, and...

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry ah still uses his nasty tone of voice when he speaks to me. how do i get him to stop. I try very hard to stay away from him and he does likewise. We write notes if needed or text but once in a awhile we still need to speak. We are going for mediatation on nov 17th, he will behave in there in front of people. ...

grateful2be · grateful2be

We are expecting a lot of snow in our area this week. So...........someone has stolen our Township's snowplows as of tonight's news. How in the world does anybody steal one snowplow let alone ALL the snowplows. I know this has nothing at all to do with alcoholism and yet...this caper is as mind-bog...

Fairlee · Fairlee

Hi! I am so behind on the board and there are some very good posts I need to respond too! Ya'll are always so inspiring - I just read and feel better! I went to a F2F meeting last week and I had a funny experience. I parked in the wrong place and went in the wrong meeting (AA meets next door) I am already a very aw...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

I'm so tired of myself! Started alanon almost a year ago and it has changed my actions and thoughts, I was so angry and resentful. After figuring out AH was an alcoholic it was a relief to me, it wasn't what I was or wasn't doing, he wasn't choosing to check out of the family, etc. thankfully I didn't grow up...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Time is flying so I am getting by. Slowly I am coming around even w/ the pressure on me. I am still waiting for my mom to return. She is waiting for paperwork & a place to stay. Kathleen

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I was doing a little reflecting this morning. This month is my six months anniversary with Al-Anon. Lately I have been taking some service responsibilities (chaired our meetings for a month and I'm going around to doctor's office placing Al-Anon literature) and I feel good about myself. While pu...

Luiza · Luiza

Finishing organising MY bedroom, I put up, on the top of shelve's unit, two photos of my wedding. One is exAH and our daughter when she was 6 months old and the other is a group photo of everyone who attended. So I am here on my computer and I look at the photos now and then. Why? I don't have a clue. I am just all...

andromeda · andromeda

My AH and I drove to the airport yesterday and he made a proposal to me for how we can handle this divorce. His words? "We do nothing." Umm, say what? He wants us to sell the house and then we both move into our own rentals and he will continue to support 2 households using the proceeds from the...

Collateral Damage · Collateral Damage

First of all, I want to apologize for lurking and reading, yet not sharing. That is unfair to you. But I am trying to feel more comfortable with sharing. So AH is 21 days sober today. We visited him in the facility on Sunday, where he announced that he wanted to go into extended care (another 90 days)...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hey Everyone! Hope you are all well. It's been a minute since I have posted anything and just wanted to give an update. Marriage counseling for us is going well, we are so blessed to have a man that has 48 years sobriety and also is well educated in not only addiction, but the affects on the family as well. S...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	new experience (Preview) AlAnon has taught many tools that I use on a daily basis that help me through the day. However I was not prepared for the serenity have been experiencing. I love this peaceful feeling. I've always lived my life in chaos. Since I started the program bits of peace and happiness started to enter my life and n...	texasgal	4	303	Nov 17, 2014 by milkwood
	Being in control. (Preview) This is my first time with Alanon. I've been going a little crazy thinking I need to fix everything.... I'm feeling much better now just knowing I don't need to control it anymore. Just let the chips fall where they may. I'm. Starting here and eventually I will go to a real live meeting.	Birdofparadise	26	1067	Nov 17, 2014 by Birdofparadise
	Presence and a child as teacher (Preview) Two days in a row I have driven to our local buy all that you need, want and don't want zoo. Both days I have noticed the noisy overhead music, the busy bustling of customers pushing carts, yelling on cellphones, impatiently waiting for another customer to move away from the shelf that holds the waitin...	grateful2be	8	774	Nov 17, 2014 by milkwood
	3 gains. (Preview) Oooh Catherine just suggested in a post the idea of looking at 3 "gains" we have made since deciding to move on. I like this idea very much and I think I'll add it to my daily al-anon exercises. It's a goody. So here is my first one. I have gained the freedom to be happy, or sad, or grumpy or giggly o...	missmeliss	7	765	Nov 17, 2014 by milkwood
	frozen (Preview) It's freaking cold here in ole Oregon. I think back to other winters being stuck with a sick A who never smiled and how heavy it made me inside. Well now i am heavy on the outside from being too happy. lol Life is good, a couple friends and I rescued four pot bellied pigs from being eaten, gross. So I am enjoyi...	Debilyn	7	573	Nov 17, 2014 by milkwood
	Today I am grateful. (Preview) Today I am grateful. For being in a house where one can sing a silly song at the top of ones lungs, and other voices will chime in from somewhere in the house. For example whilst I was cooking dinner tonight I inadvertently began quietly singing "one potato two potato three potato four" and a f...	missmeliss	11	638	Nov 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	I feel defeated (Preview) These last few days have been really hard. I finally have divorce papers in my hand, ready to have AH served. I just have to call a process server because I've decided not to have anyone I know serve him the papers. the papers are giving me flashbacks of when my ex mother in law handed me divorce papers from...	Newlife girl	16	723	Nov 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	Advise needed for strength... (Preview) My husband and I have been arguing and ignoring one another for the past week because I caught him drinking vodka that he was hiding in his truck. He works really long hours and I think it's because he does'nt want to be around me at home. He has promised AGAIN that he is done with vodka but I have heard it a th...	jmc	10	704	Nov 16, 2014 by neshema2
	trying to understand the process (Preview) Oh boy I know I have lots to learn, but what i am learning is confusing me , why must I accept and why must i be the one to change , I am not a drinker , I do not abuse, I care deep and love deep only to be abused by an alcoholic, not only an alcholic but a workaolic why can't he change , why can't he see that he is about t...	Compliments	9	635	Nov 16, 2014 by Debilyn
	HP at work (Preview) So, I am going to make this brief. I am so grateful for the timing of God & how he works in my life. Yesterday I broke a tooth. I was wondering if it could be fixed so I made a call to the local clinic. I was very surprised to hear that they would take me in not like they haven't before. Anyhow I had to travel 60...	Hoot Nanny	3	680	Nov 16, 2014 by Jen
	We hold these truths to be self-evident... (Preview) ...that the A will be in denial, and that we will always be tempted just to 'explain' how their addiction is damaging so they will wise up. I can see that A's never wholly lose the temptation to drink - constant vigilence is necessary - and I never lose the temptation to tell my A how harmful his actions are...	Mattie	14	759	Nov 16, 2014 by Jen
	it doesnt get any easier (Preview) Welll. . Its saturday nite. My daughter is not home tonight and my ah claims to be on his way home. Which for him on a saturd is pretty unusual. Hes typically out doing his thing. Its been a rough week. . Long story there but the last few days have been down right tense. He is in chronc pain, tryong to drink les...	Theoceancalls	13	878	Nov 16, 2014 by neshema2
	Healing (Preview) It feels so good to be healing emotionally. I have not lived with my dry ah for 4 months. He still acts the same toward me but i am not subjected to it constantly so i have slowly begun to heal. He acts normal to other people and situations just not with me or about me. It is very hard to heal when you are in th...	Mirandac	13	606	Nov 16, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Power over Alcohol (Preview) I understand and fully accept that I am absolutely powerless over my husband's addiction to alcohol. I am powerless over what it does and is doing to him, BUT, I am not powerless over what it does to me, not any longer. I can choose to continue burying my head in the sand and live in the illusion that I can...	cloudyskies	14	814	Nov 16, 2014 by cloudyskies
	anxiety and boundaries (Preview) I feel anxious today,my ex called again last night,I did not answer the phone.I have made it very clear on several occasions that I was done with this relationship.He is also good friends with my neighbor and he has been calling him and asking him what I am doing!He said he doesn't tell him anything,I ho...	mjferg	7	895	Nov 15, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Recovery (Preview) Recovery, what is it? What does it look like? How can I get it? I looked at many definitions, many of which applied to alcohol and drug addiction. Since I am not an alcoholic nor am I addicted to drugs (still working on my caffeine addiction), I was not comfortable with these definitions. Then, I found th...	cloudyskies	6	509	Nov 15, 2014 by cloudyskies
	But I don't WANNA go to school tomorrow... (Preview) I am sleepless tonight, I am meant to have class in 6 hours or so and I am just turning it over and over in my mind. One of the biggest gifts I think i have received in al-anon so far (and there have been SO many) is the ability to handle the truth instead of trying to manipulate and sugar coat it. Even if it makes...	missmeliss	15	892	Nov 15, 2014 by Debilyn
	CAL Approved Al Anon Meeting in a Pocket? (Preview) Can anyone tell me where one can find an a CAL approved Al Anon Meeting in a Pocket? AA has a couple of Meeting in a Pocket books available to all. I have a draft that our home group is using and really finds helpful.	tucanojk	2	607	Nov 15, 2014 by Courage
	Today I feel resentful... (Preview) Well I must have hit another wave today ....because after months now I finally feel resentful. Funny how that happens... Before I just felt scared, unsafe and angry enough to make a change and put in boundaries. Then I started to observe behaviors and really started to figure out what I liked and don...	Truth	14	823	Nov 15, 2014 by neshema2
	TIRED/LONELY WIFE OF AH 25YRS (Preview) Have anyone of you were so emotionally tired and lonely that u made up fantasies about people u know who would make a partner.?	YARNCRAZY	9	896	Nov 15, 2014 by Jerry F
	Be careful about what you ask HP for (Preview) Today I get up and I say "Good morning Creator, how can i be of service today??? How can I bring smiles to at least one face??? Let me give laughter and joy today" and I thanked Creator... Went to work in the freezing cold, its like 30% out and thats pressing it....I arrive at work and everyone...	neshema2	4	599	Nov 15, 2014 by PP
	On shame - and cats (Preview) In my spare bedroom/office, there is a white duvet over the twin bed with pillow slips to match. For accent and whimsy, I've placed a large, plush Christmas elf with moveable floppy arms and legs. The doll is about one foot and a half long and maybe six inches across the middle of her chest. I have not...	grateful2be	20	844	Nov 14, 2014 by milkwood
	A campfire story (Preview) An old Cherokee grandfather was talking with his grandson near a warm campfire that lit up the night. They could hear the wolves howling in the night. Grandfather said: "There are two wolves in each of us. There's a battle raging between them. One is evil - he represents fear, doubt, self-p...	grateful2be	20	737	Nov 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	I just kind of need a break! (Preview) This semester so far I has been rough and I am currently taking a clinical and 2 lecture classes until right before Christmas. I have a fun trip planned for 3 nights with the boyfriend and kids after Christmas and before my next classes start January 5. When I say I need a break, I just mean for the crapp...	Breakingfree	11	892	Nov 14, 2014 by bud
	When I THINK I need someone "that bad" I need to trust and think again!!! (Preview) don't know if I told you all ANOTHER of my refurbs i was buying from this guy went down 2 weeks ago...it was my work machine....i was in a panic!!!! my quickbooks was on it, my tax stuff....disaster city... i text the guy b/c i don't have time to fix it and he doesn't reply...its business hours so no worrie...	neshema2	14	567	Nov 14, 2014 by bud
	manipulation! (Preview) I haven't posted in a while,I came down with a bad head cold so I kind of just shut down and gave myself permission to deal with my cold and not stress about emotions or recovery.I received a phone call from my ex, it had been a while since I talked to him, well, I answered the phone and it was pretty much the sa...	mjferg	6	509	Nov 14, 2014 by bud
	what can i do (Preview) I found out my spouse has been drinking again. I feel like I am teetering on crazy. The lies.. unbelievable! Is it possible to raise 3 kids on my own with no family support? What do i do stay in a marriage because I can't afford a lawyer. So scared to be in a marriage like this. I just have no good choices i...	hopes314	7	718	Nov 14, 2014 by bud
	A closet Agnostic?? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I think I have been a closet agnostic all these years and due to some sort of shame or sense of failure or just thinking I am less then b/c I cannot really embrace a diety outside of myselfI stayed in the closet, hoping that program could help me find G-d as referenced in the 12 steps, not understanding that...	neshema2	55	1508	Nov 13, 2014 by bud
	What did I do in caring for me TODAY???? (Preview) TODAY I slept in and stayed warm on my day off, curled up in my blankets dreaming of happy things did laundry for my pets, washed their favorite towels on which they cuddle during cold season jacked up the heat JUST a BIT to treat me while I did my laundry Made myself a GREAT shake, now with peanut butter in i...	neshema2	8	698	Nov 13, 2014 by neshema2
	fell out with alanon (Preview) Sorry about my last post, confusing as it was. Ive kind of got peed off with alanon lately. Ive been working it for nearly 3 years, I love it, its changed my life but... im Still working it, im not cured. I know this is not rational or logic. High expectations are dodgy. Ive realised my shortcomings that he...	el-cee	17	732	Nov 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	if only I could remember what I forgot! (Preview) This will be a quick post. I am losing things & finding things & losing things again. I have no control over what happens. My mind is going slowly. But, I still have good days of course. Sometimes I have bad weeks! I am just going through a time. I am not going to keep things from my AH. He is not a thre...	Hoot Nanny	5	560	Nov 13, 2014 by cloudyskies
	My husband is an alcoholic (Preview) Wow, So, I am new here and not even sure if I am in the right place. I am slowly coming to terms that my husband ,of over 11 years ,is an alcoholic. My heart is broke. He hides vodka all of the time and is always sorry about his lies but constantly continues to repeat the same mistakes over and over and over. We h...	jmc	19	855	Nov 13, 2014 by Flower49
	Lost my serenity a little bit. (Preview) So today exH went to collect daughter at school. I checked with him a lot of times that the arrangement was still on and that he has to take her to her choir practice at 5 and bring her straight back home when it finishes at 6. So she should be back home before 6.30. At 6.15 my friend from choir calls me to ask wh...	Luiza	9	692	Nov 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Honoring my child's heart.... (Preview) My father has dementia. My relationship with him has been painful and now it has become even more so as his disease progresses and his skills (which were already poor) at the filtering of his rage and narcissism is diminished. This weekend and some of the posts here recently have brought to the surf...	PP	29	972	Nov 13, 2014 by PP
	uh! (Preview) Here I go again. This time it is not my father, sister, or husband. It's my grandchild's alcoholic custodial father who insists she must return to him. My grandchild has run away now for the third time etc. You all know that story. My grandchild has come to me this time. My heart can't send her back to him....	59lfva	7	468	Nov 13, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Song for us.... (Preview) http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CCEQyCkwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D89h7JC85KHE&ei=ANhkVNKAOISmgwSpxIHgAw&usg=AFQjCNFkh4c0I91b7Ger_vY...	PP	3	298	Nov 13, 2014 by neshema2
	Mom issues (Preview) I am totally new here so please no hate if I am doing something I am not supposed to do ok. I need some advice and a place to talk. I am 49, happily married for 28 years and have a wonderful 14 year old daughter. Raised by total alcoholic parents. My husband and I rarely drink. I haven't spoken to my abusi...	tpotterf	39	937	Nov 13, 2014 by PP
	greif over abandonment by my mother (Preview) Hi all. I feel so alone and rejected by my own mother. We have been close for a lifetime. Yet over Her illness. Bipolar and dry drunks she completelyDisowned me. Also fought to disinherit me from our coowned property. I went from being her favorite. To being her enemy. My siblings also took their big...	beckon11	8	711	Nov 13, 2014 by milkwood
	Insomnia (Preview) Hi Guys, Long time no see! Glad to be back! I'm currently under a lot of pressure; looking for a new job and apartment etc, and the stress is erupting as anxiety and insomnia. Last night I went to bed at 10:30 pm, and at 6 am I was still wide awake! (It is currently 14:56 here, where I am writing from). I tho...	Turris	8	619	Nov 12, 2014 by Fairlee
	Too many mixed emotions (Preview) I must say that I am happy that I came across this site and everything I have read so far is very helpful. So many people here have given me a bit more hope but as I sit here, ready for bed, I just feel sad and overwhelmed by emotions. It's easy for me to keep myself busy throughout the day with my kids, my home, m...	jmc	3	447	Nov 12, 2014 by Fairlee
	The news report changed (Preview) I put this on my first Geez thread and decided that it might be better to start a new thread. As of yesterday's news, the stolen snowplow story got changed to stolen snowplow blades, hydraulic parts and a trailer which seems so much more feasible to me than entire snowplows. Even so, according to the ne...	grateful2be	9	729	Nov 12, 2014 by neshema2
	caffeine vs. alcohol addiction / drunk vs alcoholic (Preview) I have been having a lot of bladder problems lately, and my urologist says I am having bladder spasms from caffeine. I always have one cup of coffee in the morning, but I drink cokes all day long. Apparently, it's the cokes causing my problem. Well, I have cut my coke consumption in half, and I am having te...	cloudyskies	19	970	Nov 12, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Help me intervene??? (Preview) I have a boy of 25 living with me. He grew up with my kids and now rents an extra bedroom from me, But he is like a son to me and doesn't get much (has never gotten) parenting from his actual parents. He is drinking way too much and way too heavily. To black out state several times a week, often accompanied by ra...	Mikeys Mom	7	650	Nov 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Today is my so-called anniversary....bad day (Preview) Today AH have been married for 12 years. Not divorced yet...but that's the next step. I find myself angry, sad and really depressed. I just finished working my usual work stretch of 4 days in a row. I will finally say this, as I am not sure if I have already or not...and I just don't think it's a huge deal if I...	Newlife girl	15	725	Nov 12, 2014 by Fairlee
	I am brand new and scared (Preview) I am brand new. I am worried sick about my teen son. He never wants to be home because I know he is out there partying. He just started a job and called out on his 4th day of work. I haven't seen him since Thurs night. But I know where he is. I text and call him all the time but he doesn't usually get back to m...	Mellie	18	1033	Nov 12, 2014 by Fairlee
	It's everywhere (Preview) I have a friend that, now that I have moved, lives 1 1/2 miles away. We are old friends, from college. We don't get together a lot because we don't have that much in common, but we do get together occasionally and love each other to death. Much like he's a family member. He's been having back problems, s...	KennyFenderjazz	17	671	Nov 12, 2014 by Fairlee
	the truth of me (Preview) Sometimes ive got a real urge to get to the nitty gritty, to say what isnt really said. To let it out there without the excuses, you know? To shake it up and stir it up. I get restless in the peace. I cant find progress in the peace. I know alanons about taking it slow, or is it really? If we knew freedom was wait...	el-cee	17	640	Nov 12, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Here I sit with many excuses ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Here's the deal: I'm introverted. This means I do little without first looking at "how will this affect me" rather than the extroverted "now what I can I do with this." I have some extroverted friends in program who go dancing every Monday. One of them invited me to meet her l...	grateful2be	50	1249	Nov 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Can anyone give me guidance on child custody agreement with my alcoholic husband (Preview) I live in NC and at the moment I am only allowing him supervised visitation but for when ever and as long as he wants. He doesn't choose to see her much but lately he has been claiming to be sober by sheer will he still refuses AA or any treatment program. Knowing his plan is to eventually take this to court...	Angelado1976	5	753	Nov 11, 2014 by grateful2be
	Hard to live with a messed up brain (Preview) I read a lot of comments here about the tendencies of the A spouse. They seem to tend to be the unloving one, the nasty one, the one who doesn't appreciate their spouse. In our situation, I seem to be all that. But part of it is because my H is passive. And crazy making. He does things that drive me crazy, and...	oceanpine	2	554	Nov 11, 2014 by hotrod
	nasty Tone of voice (Preview) My dry ah still uses his nasty tone of voice when he speaks to me. how do i get him to stop. I try very hard to stay away from him and he does likewise. We write notes if needed or text but once in a awhile we still need to speak. We are going for mediatation on nov 17th, he will behave in there in front of people. ...	Mirandac	34	1284	Nov 11, 2014 by Mirandac
	Geez! (Preview) We are expecting a lot of snow in our area this week. So...........someone has stolen our Township's snowplows as of tonight's news. How in the world does anybody steal one snowplow let alone ALL the snowplows. I know this has nothing at all to do with alcoholism and yet...this caper is as mind-bog...	grateful2be	20	603	Nov 11, 2014 by grateful2be
	still here, very behind, made it to a F2F (Preview) Hi! I am so behind on the board and there are some very good posts I need to respond too! Ya'll are always so inspiring - I just read and feel better! I went to a F2F meeting last week and I had a funny experience. I parked in the wrong place and went in the wrong meeting (AA meets next door) I am already a very aw...	Fairlee	9	645	Nov 11, 2014 by Breakingfree
	What's wrong with me! (Preview) I'm so tired of myself! Started alanon almost a year ago and it has changed my actions and thoughts, I was so angry and resentful. After figuring out AH was an alcoholic it was a relief to me, it wasn't what I was or wasn't doing, he wasn't choosing to check out of the family, etc. thankfully I didn't grow up...	Kerrymom	10	850	Nov 10, 2014 by Jerry F
	slowly but surely... (Preview) Time is flying so I am getting by. Slowly I am coming around even w/ the pressure on me. I am still waiting for my mom to return. She is waiting for paperwork & a place to stay. Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	4	325	Nov 10, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Celebrating/and Paying it Forward (Preview) I was doing a little reflecting this morning. This month is my six months anniversary with Al-Anon. Lately I have been taking some service responsibilities (chaired our meetings for a month and I'm going around to doctor's office placing Al-Anon literature) and I feel good about myself. While pu...	cloudyskies	15	678	Nov 10, 2014 by cloudyskies
	I don't understand... (Preview) Finishing organising MY bedroom, I put up, on the top of shelve's unit, two photos of my wedding. One is exAH and our daughter when she was 6 months old and the other is a group photo of everyone who attended. So I am here on my computer and I look at the photos now and then. Why? I don't have a clue. I am just all...	Luiza	9	821	Nov 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	His proposal to me (Preview) My AH and I drove to the airport yesterday and he made a proposal to me for how we can handle this divorce. His words? "We do nothing." Umm, say what? He wants us to sell the house and then we both move into our own rentals and he will continue to support 2 households using the proceeds from the...	andromeda	19	889	Nov 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	Resentment, anger, and my life (Preview) First of all, I want to apologize for lurking and reading, yet not sharing. That is unfair to you. But I am trying to feel more comfortable with sharing. So AH is 21 days sober today. We visited him in the facility on Sunday, where he announced that he wanted to go into extended care (another 90 days)...	Collateral Damage	15	854	Nov 10, 2014 by mnkarts2
	Progress not perfection (Preview) Hey Everyone! Hope you are all well. It's been a minute since I have posted anything and just wanted to give an update. Marriage counseling for us is going well, we are so blessed to have a man that has 48 years sobriety and also is well educated in not only addiction, but the affects on the family as well. S...	Flower49	5	412	Nov 10, 2014 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.