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THE "WHAT IF'S"
(Preview)
Because of the what if's that I am experiencing this Christmas season, because of my son's past drinking. I hesitate to go visit him and family. Although he has been sober for over a year, does not have a program and has not grown a lot in his problem solving capabilities. But I want to see my Grand baby! He...
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LinSC
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9
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915
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All of a sudden
(Preview)
So, all of a sudden AH is worried about the finances. Claims his job is on the line, that we will be out of savings by the spring, that he just has to find a way to figure this whole mess out.....Of course, I've been managing the finances for the past few years so there's a lot of guilt in my head right now abou...
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andromeda
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26
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1106
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Holiday Stress
(Preview)
Well the Holidays are here again. And so is the stress for me. When I was growing up my mother loved Christmas and my father spoiled just about everyone by being drunk and passed out somewhere. Now I have continued the cycle by marrying an alcoholic and trying to make the holidays perfect for the kids...
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slowlearner
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8
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1093
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who is it hardest on?
(Preview)
Hi folks, I'm new here. I am an adult child of an alcoholic father. He has been gone a very long time now. My partner's sister and her husband were also alcoholics. They had 2 kids, who are 13 years apart. I am very close to both boys. The older child was about 12 when his parents' drinking got completely out...
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Cloudchaser
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15
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1011
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Help needed for loss, please!
(Preview)
My ill Mom was placed in hospice today and I'm so overwhelmed and flooded with emotions. It seems like a long, drawn out process and yet things are moving way too quickly and there is no way to prepare for loss and all that goes with it. No matter how many times I revisit, it will be life on life's terms bu...
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bud
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25
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988
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STEP 9
(Preview)
Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 9 has been posted to the Step Board Please share your ESH if you like.Here is the web site addy http://stepwork.a...
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hotrod
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0
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510
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trying to get from this to that
(Preview)
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el-cee
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7
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518
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still here, gleaning from ya'lls posts...
(Preview)
Hi! things have been so crazy busy here but I am able to come and read every once in a while and it always seems to be what I need to hear! I am so thankful for ya'll and this board. I have not been working my program lately because I am as stubborn and in denial as my AH and let's face it, it's way easier to backsli...
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Fairlee
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5
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736
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Feeling empathy
(Preview)
I am realizing more and more each day how sick my husband is and I have more empathy for him than I used to. Living apart from him has really opened my eyes. He is incapable of working. He is in denial about our home foreclosing. I spoke to him tonight and just told him I understand. I have complained a lot to o...
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Newlife girl
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8
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714
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Thought I should check to see if the stove was still hot.
(Preview)
Daughter went away to her dad's over the weekend. I decided, this time, maybe it would be good if I drove some of the way (I still haven't ventured far from home) then parked, caught the train the rest of the way, back to my car and drive home again. Great idea huh? Remember, it's about 8-9 hours on public tr...
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missmeliss
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17
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991
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What are these "slips" you speak of?
(Preview)
Now I am old school Al Anon, AA. A slip was no such thing. You did a drug, you relapsed and your days start all over again. Even if you had ten years in, you were at day one. I consider a slip a step on the road to total relapse. Would like to hear from others . please? pinkchip? Other double winners? everyone?...
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Debilyn
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16
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1589
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Want to learn how to stop enabling
(Preview)
Hi all, My situation is difficult, because my significant other and I are having to work together to stay afloat financially, but he's not doing his share. He's addicted to the internet, really really addicted. He was forced to semi-retire June 2013, but still works freelance. His pension is basi...
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zebrafish
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15
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968
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Boy am I angry!
(Preview)
It hit last night,I was washing dishes,I started slamming the dishes and I started crying,I have been feeling a lot of things,really painful things and I have to say I deserve better than this crap!All of a sudden I realize I have believed the lies I learned from my father.He was horrible to me,he treat...
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mjferg
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11
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831
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making a decision and follow through
(Preview)
Good morning my Al-Anon family. I missed my weekly face to face meeting yesterday because I have bronchitis. Our meeting was cancelled last week due to it falling on Thanksgiving, so I'm feeling it. I'm finding myself going back to step 3 often. "Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over...
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cloudyskies
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2
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937
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honesty and acceptance
(Preview)
Well I certainly have been in a mood lately,and I am tired of it!I have been reading about acceptance and I realize I haven't really been accepting where I am at the moment and that is causing me a lot of turmoil in my head.I have been blaming my ex for all my problems.So if he is responsible for all that is wr...
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mjferg
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5
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700
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Giant Baby - how long does it last?
(Preview)
So I often sit and wonder, how long does the giant baby inside syndrome last....it seems sometimes I am expected to overlook a whole lot of selfish, immature, baby emotions, reactions, etc. with my A and I can for the most part, but how long does it take for them to get to oh I don't know maybe someone past t...
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Flower49
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13
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1080
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Making time for me...
(Preview)
Three weeks ago I got the A in my life out of my house. We are in two separate states now, and he has begun to go to AA meetings where he is. I am not nearly as concerned about his recovery as I am about my own. I find I have some old habits that are hard to break. I find I make myself responsible for his emotions...
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skarlett
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12
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789
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Need some support
(Preview)
It has been a little while since I've posted. I have been in a bit of a holding pattern for the past month and a half,waiting on my attorney to file the divorce papers. (long story why). AH has been pushing hard for a reconciliation over the past month. I unfortunately have been wishy-washy with him. ...
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Tossed Salad
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11
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725
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My Story
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I am new to all of this and warn in advance this will probably be quite long. I am 29 and divorced with three children. I was born into a diseased and mentally ill family. My father was an addict- heroine, crack, alcohol, all of it. He moved my brother and I all over and other than that we lived in...
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kspec85
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5
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659
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it stinks being sick...
(Preview)
I have been both sick & tired lately. I guess I was again even concerned about my sanity. One thing is for sure that I have a virus that cannot be fixed by any kind of medicine or anti-biotic at all. I am just grateful that I think I am on the better end of it. I think I am going to survive. Sleep on the other h...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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520
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My first post
(Preview)
I've been reading these forums for awhile now, and I am ready to share my story. I'm not sure what it is, exactly, I'm looking for though. Maybe just to vent? Maybe for some words of encouragement? Maybe advice? Maybe to know that I'm not alone.... Anyways, I'll start from the beginning. Here it g...
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frustrationshigh
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9
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803
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Truly Devastating !
(Preview)
I have never been on a chat room of any type before and I am trying to think of how to summarize the story of the devastation my family has been through over the past two years. For whatever reason, TODAY was the day I was inspired to start researching alanon? Don't know why today...but here I am. I welco...
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chatz
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11
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703
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Thoughts on reestablishing contact w/ a--with given boundaries
(Preview)
I have written many letters to my A during the last 6 months of our break up, none of which I have sent. This last one, I have been considering. It is basically an attempt to reach out and reestablish contact, on the premise to have closure and resolution for our messy break up, with the condition that he is...
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astallaslions
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10
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672
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Feeling connected to each other and my balance with al-anon
(Preview)
Since I have found al-anon I feel more balanced and connected to my fellow human beings, whether it is a homeless person, an addict, a child, or someone of means. I can see myself in them and them in me even if I like or dislike what they are doing. I have learned when I usually have a strong reaction to anoth...
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Breakingfree
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6
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782
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Friendships
(Preview)
I have been in alanon for 3 years and it seems like I am getting more program friends and less friends outside the program. Is this something that starts to happen in your lives? I let go of one friendship who was really narcissistic and everything was all about her so I feel good about leaving that frie...
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willowtree
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6
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365
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How to QTIP
(Preview)
Quit Taking it Personally... How? If I think the smallest things are personal? But maybe they aren't and the problem is in my head? How to know the difference?
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Luiza
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21
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2942
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Boundaries
(Preview)
When someone chooses to not respect you, you choose to do it for them. XA is now becoming more public with his new gf. (the counsellor from the detox centre) There are just so many things not right about this on so many levels. My rights were never respected nor were the rights of my kids. This tells me 2 thi...
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Mari1978
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8
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714
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i can't seem to get away
(Preview)
I got a call from the police at 5AM on Sunday morning. My AH was calling saying there were intruders at the house. They arrived but couldn't find him. Could I come over? We have been separated for 4 years. I've tried to move on. Leaving the home I love and the man I once loved to find a serene place for myself....
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alexmaui
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7
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864
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What's best for kids
(Preview)
Just wondering if anyone has info on studies about what is best for kids. I know this is a huge generalization I am asking about, but I have been wondering if it is better for them to be in a house with a father who can't keep it together, and annoys them to the point they don't respect or want to be around him -...
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oceanpine
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21
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1007
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the holiday are just starting!
(Preview)
My drunk has had the whole week off for the holiday.I shouldn't be feeling like "I can't wait until he goes back to work". I caught him drinking at 8:45 this morning but I'm sure he's done that all week.He got up before I did one day and was gone before 8:30.I got up while he was gone.He came back 4...
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pixie
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16
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1040
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another perspective
(Preview)
A man I know has just died of alcoholism a couple of days ago. I didnt know the man very well, I know his daughter, who is my daughters friend. His life has been going down the pan for years now. His mother was an alcoholic, his siblings are alcoholics, his other daughter is an alcoholic. He was only in his e...
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el-cee
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13
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516
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feelings of inadequacy
(Preview)
The last few days have been a roller coaster of emotions,from depression to fear to sadness ,and feeling angry.I think about my life and the challenges I face and I feel frightened and small.But when I was with my ex I was super responsible,made sure the bills were paid,hid money,had all kinds of plans...
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mjferg
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9
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771
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Detachment with Love
(Preview)
"Many of us justify our actions by telling ourselves that we're good people who love others, care about them, and do what we do for their own good. When we first hear about detachment, we might think it requires us to stop loving and stop caring. But detachment with love doesn't mean that we cease to ca...
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John
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16
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2673
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Gaming addiction
(Preview)
happy thanksgiving ;) it's been a while since I have posted here. I need some esh. I live with my sig other and his 17 year old stepson. The 17 year old young man has a serious gaming addiction. He often times misses school because of his gaming addiction. His father recently started taking the modem on s...
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karma13
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6
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2682
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feeling confused.step 4 related
(Preview)
I do tend to get stuck on inventory. I've done some terrible things. I really do need a sponsor so I can admit my shortcomings and move forward. Is this about responsibility? By that I mean, is it possible that through alcoholism, something that could have been great, got trampled into the mud,and I nee...
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aquamom23
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6
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602
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Did I just marry an alcoholic?
(Preview)
I am really grappling here. I just discovered this forum and have read a lot of amazing stories... and all too familiar experiences. Thank you first and foremost for being so open and loving and honest on here. I came here looking for help and I think I came to the right place. Alcoholism is a family dis...
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Carrots317
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9
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1009
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Already starting a great morning!!
(Preview)
I was able to take care of a large monkey and get that off my back .. very big deal .. paying the money out sucked! Going into the new year .. AWESOME .. this was misstep in October/November. I'm just sooo glad I was able to get this done at this point. Today was the open AA meeting and I really needed to be th...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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798
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need advice from those who have separated
(Preview)
I've been single and away from A behavior now for 6mo. Life is better and I have healed greatly, done a lot of work on myself and with the help of a professional and al anon steps made progress. I cannot deny that. However, tonight I am frustrated and wondering why it is not at the place "I think it shou...
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giraffe13
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18
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943
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In Recovery, Need to Learn Coping Skills Living with another Alcoholic
(Preview)
Hi all, I'm glad to have found this group. Where I live there are no groups like this that I know of (I'm in a developing 2nd world country... ) in any event. I'm an alcoholic in recovery, sober for 2 years and 1 month. I don't like sobriety and I don't have regrets of my bad past, therefore I can see it is cl...
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lc1886
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8
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838
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He is a meth addict ugh
(Preview)
My son seemed cold to me as of late. As it turns out he is having a serious problem as one of his best friends has become a meth addict and is nutz. Son allowed B to move into part of his home. YOu can guess it has been hairbrained from the start. Son knew better but as we say, he loves B, he was one of the neatest gu...
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Debilyn
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12
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1090
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Cathy and Andromeda?
(Preview)
I saw that an earthquake hit near Sedona. Everything okay with you?
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grateful2be
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4
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566
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If its driven by alcohol
(Preview)
Nothing is real. Aloha kakahiaka ohana...good morning family just checking in before my morning group and was reading shares cause this is how I start my day. I re-read the share on feelings and responses and another response from long ago came into my memory (still have one...go figure). &qu...
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Jerry F
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10
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953
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Back again
(Preview)
Good afternoon everyone! I haven't posted here in soooooo long I had to open a new account LOL Looks like I've been a member on this board since 2009, probably my last post. I'm signed in & ready to read & share posts once again! Good to be back!
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horselover
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7
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460
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Larger than it appears
(Preview)
The MIP Sunday Spiritual Meeting today was about Letting Go. It was a great meeting and has kept me thinking all day! It sounds and looks simple... "LET GO", even the words are tiny and uncomplicated, but for me it involves some pretty LARGE complex concepts. As a sorta newcomer to Al-Anon I...
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MorningGlory
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6
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596
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I love my own heart! Wow
(Preview)
Just because I "feel" something does NOT make it true. I do not know where the phrase "Follow your Heart" originated from, The Heart is Deceitful above all Things are the words of my higher power documented in the book of all time. One of the things loving myself means to me i...
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glad
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9
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729
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Is it my fault like he says?
(Preview)
Hello My name is Cynthia......there isn't enough space on this page for me to write all that is going threw my mind. I am married to my highschool sweetheart who found me again on social media after 28 yrs. He was the one I always wondered where he was or what become of him. I knew he was in the military but un...
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Cynthia66
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11
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917
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keeping it real
(Preview)
I will admit I have been struggling with some depression,I was feeling pretty bad this morning and I checked my first post, it was only about a month ago,it seems much longer than that!I think the holidays are brutal on the emotions and I am looking forward to January.I had some thoughts last night abou...
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mjferg
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5
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661
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I'm sitting with the feelings
(Preview)
What else can you really do? Read, hit a meeting, detach from the insanity, find gratitude and remember... this too shall pass. Darn expectations, darn holiday expectations. Whew... glad I got that out. Thanks for letting me share with you. TT
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tiredtonite
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12
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876
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Re-starting the inner journey....
(Preview)
It is kind of an exciting experience to re-start the inner journey!!! I started to slow down and just observe, listen...slowly starting to get back what I like and what I don't like and my bottom line. Feels freeing!!! So I figured out my addiction....HIM!!! Now I get the codependency!!! I am so tha...
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Truth
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21
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969
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Well i wasn't expecting anything but it still felt bad
(Preview)
Everyone in neighborhood in addition to my kids knew i was sick w/my back....everyone....and even before Thanksgiving, I got "feel better" phone calls, and knocks on my door when they knew I was up...... Thanksgiving I spent resting, trying to heal so i can work on Friday and i am slowly h...
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neshema2
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16
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807
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I closed one door. HP opened me another (better) one.
(Preview)
Less than one week ago I was writing here how difficult it was for me to take the decision to quit my Sunday job. I have been thinking about it for a long time but I didn't do it before because I was too worried about putting other people's needs first and also worried about the money. Today, at the end of the...
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Luiza
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10
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895
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New levels .. new things :)
(Preview)
I can't sleep late .. late for me has been 330AM LOL .. it's all ok .. when I do sleep I'm actually sleeping vs flailing around .. lol. It's solid hours in a row just not as many as I'd like. I crash early too so I'm sure that has something to do with it. This is the first holiday's in our new place and I'm still...
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SerenityRUS
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6
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676
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Happy Thanksgiving Family
(Preview)
Really now!! should I forget?? I dare not to. Doing Cloudy's suggestion of my Happy Hoppy dance and as I look at it and feeling so very grateful for finding MIP and all of you. Special Thanks for you John as this is your mind and heart child; a precious gift that comes with so many loving and supporti...
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Jerry F
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10
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603
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My Thoughts
(Preview)
All I can say is my 37 year old son has been sober for 9 months and I'm really good with it. Might not be what he wanted but he is paying big time for his choices. I could have enabled that night, I could have done something......but I let go and just prayed he wouldn't hurt anyone driving and that the police...
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Cathyinaz
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11
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699
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Yoga, anyone?
(Preview)
I'm starting a yoga class tomorrow. I think this will be a really good companion to al-anon. Now, if I can just learn to find my own strengths, focus on my own progress and keep my eyes off of everyone else, breathe deeply, relax, dare to try things that look too hard, be gentle with myself when I can't do so...
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Southerngirl
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9
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794
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a case of rebellion
(Preview)
Down under festivities start early. I feel completely anti drinking. I don't want to be around alcohol and its fans at all. I dont want my kids around it at all and I feel morally judgemental of all the silly jbarbecues we've been invited to this month. Bring the kids is the tagline...um,NO losers, kids...
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aquamom23
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4
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686
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a lesson in control
(Preview)
I have always fussed over Thanksgiving,well this year I came down with a stomach flu on Wednesday.I was so worried,how would this all get done!Well my teenage daughter cooked mostly everything.I laid on the couch and gave some instruction,the food turned out wonderful,I was able to eat a little pla...
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mjferg
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6
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617
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I just love to watch miracles
(Preview)
and one continued in my Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG group. A recent newcomer "GOT IT"!! And she was calm and smiling and confident this evening as she shared about getting "detachment". Loved it!! Gives me renewed hope and trust in that our program does work over a...
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Jerry F
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8
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659
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destroyed
(Preview)
I have 4 kids who have been deeply scared by their fathers actions due to him being an alcoholic. I hate him for all the abuse over the years verbal mainly but with mental and physical abuse thrown in for good measure!!! Don't get me wrong I do love him just hate the drunk. He has been told by the GP that he is k...
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lizzieo35
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26
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739
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Made it through Thanksgiving
(Preview)
For reasons I won't go into, Thanksgiving was always going to be a huge challenge this year - there's another big tragedy going on on the side. But then you may remember I was worried about my ex-AH's downhill slide. He showed up for our big dinner and I could tell he had been drinking. He was much loude...
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Mattie
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2
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629
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