Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

GreenerGal · GreenerGal

Here's a question I haven't seen posed yet...is it enabling if you're helping your qualifier get to their AA meetings? Not offering to help, but if they are the one to ask? He's now out of the house but would like to come shower before going to his AA meeting in the morning. He's staying in his shop right...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays reading is a good one. The idea of humility can be confusing, some people think of it as being submissive and a 'slave to my situation and accept everything that comes, however humiliating.' It talks about humility as 'not being meek surrender to an ugly, destructive way of life.' Its about sur...

Helpangel · Helpangel

my ah is 90 days sober. I have been posting how difficult he has been and went to our therapist to let her know how bad it has been. She said it sounds like his meds are not working and asked me when was he goin to see the psychologist, I said I didn't know (found out from ah April 2nd). I told her things had to cha...

glad · glad

I recently overheard a story (gossip) about an alcoholic stealing something of about 10 thousand dollars value, from someone. It might be true, but it's already 2'nd hand by the time it gets to me and the person who told this story tells things like that all the time! anyway my point is prior to alano...

Smiley99 · Smiley99

Sadly, I've become accustomed to my AH sneaking beers at inappropriate times. When I find the poorly hidden cans, I usually just throw them away and don't say anything since it will inevitably lead to an argument. Sometimes I will ask him not to put the cans in certain places, like behind the bed or i...

HockeyMom25 · HockeyMom25

My husband lost his job today. He was drunk. At work. (He's been hiding it from me again, which is a whole different story.) I am beside myself. I don't know what to do. I don't know how we'll make ends meet now. I don't know how he'll get a new job. And I sure as heck don't know how I will deal with him at home....

Skorpi · Skorpi

Confused about what I think and what I want, and hoping that writing about it will help. I have been working on a thesis for several years now. I have picked it up during good times (and when my department started to fuss) and have dropped it even more. I have not worked on it because of things going on in...

Robert Breen · Robert Breen

New to this site, so I will really have tp get to know those of you who choose to converse with me on any given topic. Really connecting to people is important to me. I have 6 years of sobriety and long term experience working the 12 steps and going to AA meetings. I have a wonderful homegroup. I have bee...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So I'm seeing a lot of things differently in recent days and one of the big ones is My Daughter's Father. Daughter's Father was a drinking drugging specialist throughout high-school (we were friends) and throughout our later 8 year relationship and marriage. But he sobered up afterwards and someho...

Auriya · Auriya

Hi. I was googling "husband putting kids at risk" and I stumbled onto this group. Maybe someone here can give me some comfort, or ideas, or anything. My husband of 5 years is an alcoholic. My mom and dad are alcoholics, my first boyfriend, my best friend... all alcoholics. My husbands last...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I went to an Al-anon workshop this morning. (It was very good btw too short) I saw one of the people I plan to ask to be my sponsor there. I told her it had been a rough week but I've been working and that I had something i needed to talk to her about. Since she is the one who in our last very small meeting s...

tufntender · tufntender

HELLO, I am not sure how to handle my boyfriends alcoholism. We are both in our late 40's. Throughout my adulthood I have done my share of drinking, was a bartender and have been exposed to but not been in relationships with people who have a drinking problem. so I am kind of lost here . He and I met thro...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

well I'm not new to message boards but I'm new to this one. I am going to meetings locally but they are NOT resonating with me. I'm doing the readings but again they don't resonate. I've been to multiple groups and multiple meetings. I tend to leave the meetings ANGRY. how much time do I giv...

Belle7 · Belle7

My husband has an addiction to prescription meds. It began with benzodiazepines, which he was successfully weaned from, while missing six months of work. The dependency changed more recently to sleeping meds. He is a high functioning, high profile professional in our community, and no one in his w...

el-cee · el-cee

Fairlee · Fairlee

Hi everyone! I am still lurking around, learning and taking in information and thinking about y'all. I don't respond much because I have been so inconsistent in my program since before Christmas. It is so hard for me to get to a meeting (closest one is an hour away, at noon on weekdays) but that is my prob...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today speaks about faith and practicing the third step. It points out that both take time and practice. It suggests that the third step is an ongoing process. I know when I came in to the Al-Anon rooms, I was in a terrible crisis with no place else to go. I picked up the powerful tools...

el-cee · el-cee

I am either very stubborn, in denial, tone deaf or a bit simple at times. Maybe all of it, at times, im not beating myself up, im aware and accept my doatyness, sometimes embrace it and play with it. Anyway, ive been feeling a bit eeeeeeoooooo, not really able to get my serenity, feeling that im upset or an...

lablover13 · lablover13

it's been 2 years and i get anxious and very sad when I envision him having sex with the another woman. we have gotten back together but I still dont trust him even though he is working very hard in AA, doing the steps and all. he has been sober for 1 year and is trying to change. i support him and congrtaualt...

pamala · pamala

I am new to posting on this board. I have attended a couple of online meetings, but have yet to attend a f2f one. Working on that one. What I need is some insight since I realize my perception tends to be off lately on things. My 26 year old daughter is my A. She was living with me up until November when I b...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't know about y'all but these days I question whether I am wrong or right. But who cares anyhow? It is better to be happy than to be right all the time anyway. I am just grateful for the discussion not the argument. So much has to be done to improve my life. It just takes one thing to set off a good start of g...

shealah · shealah

My af has been drinking nonstop for the last couple weeks. Last week came to a head when I finally called his parents and they took him home with them. Unfortunately, I let him come back home the next day, a decision which I totally regret......as he was drunk when he came back home early in the morning....

texasgal · texasgal

It's been more than a week since I found out the guy I was dating cheated. It's been hard not talking to him. He calls and texts me that he loves me and that it will never happen again...but Ive heard those lines before. Everytime I think I want to talk to him I remember the lady knocking crazy at the door and a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

of the culture of giving, helping and I was sooo delighted to watch that I laughed at it happening. Needed to share this with my MIP family. I had to get to the VA clinic to get some support. While I was there I discovered that the parking lot was full for both the Hilo Hospital and the Va with the except...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T for today speaks about keeping the focus on ourselves and not trying to analyze why another person does what they do. Trying to figure out others is a waste of time and energy as it is more important to my recoverys to figure out why I do what I do. I can do that by keeping the focus on myself lo...

AlmaDaigle · AlmaDaigle

My husband has had a problem with alcohol for a long time. I have been in denial about it until recently. We had been fighting a lot and I started to feel that the alcohol abuse was hurting our family. We have two very little girls and I finally decided that we needed to start addressing our problems. Rob we...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Well, in a not so fantastic start to my day... I got up this morning, took care of the pets, made coffee, packed lunches, got breakfast, as usual. Brought my wife coffee and fruit for breakfast in bed, as usual. The dog stepped on her foot in excitement when he saw the fruit (he LOVES oranges!) and woke he...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

In the beginning of my al-anon journey I struggled with the back and forth of really letting go of my exAh and had to learn boundaries were for me and my health. I really had trouble letting go and accepting I deserved better and healthier opportunities and until I let go, I held myself back. The steps, my...

oregongirl · oregongirl

Hi Everyone, I really want to start to feel better. I felt that this program would be the place to start. My son is an addict. He doesn't think he is though. When he was in High School he began smoking pot, drinking alcohol and barely graduated. He went into outpatient treatment during that time. I believ...

pamala · pamala

I am rather new, but starting to get warmed up to the concepts of taking care of myself first. But here is my issue....My daugher is causing my 80 and 74 year old parents grief now. My 26 year old A daughter convinced them to let her live there while she attended outpatient rehab. She has an empty apar...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hello all - it's been a long time. I started a new job in October and it's been so busy, it's construction and excellent experience. I just hired a student to help in the afternoons which is great. I need all your experience strength and hope. The President's 81 year old mother works there, she is just li...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This seems to be what underpins my serenity, at this point in my life anyway. It's remembering to be in the NOW. I forget to do it all the time. I have been overwhelmed with tasks and stresses and worries in recent days and I realised, today, I was so agitated trying to "get through" everything...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i keep struggling with rejection then hurt. My ah does something then that is my first feeling then hurt. i wish i could will it out of me. Maybe when the divorce is final and i am working steps 4 and 5 more heartily i wont feel those feelings about or from him. I can only pray for peace And serenity in sp...

hotrod · hotrod

I loved the reading in the C2C today. It talks about the shame that is buried deep within. This old shame is based on mistakes we've made, where we beat ourselves up for not being perfect.. This reading points out that we are human and that with alanon tools we can make amends for any harm. we might have d...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

The Bill of Rights for Adult Children and Al-anoners! 1. I have the right to make choices besides the choice to merely run away. 2. I have the right to say No when I feel unready or unsafe. 3. I have the right to not be molested by fear. 4. I have the right to feel all my feelings. 5. I have the right to believe I a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I love rainbows

Cafeaulait1973 · Cafeaulait1973

This morning I talked to my boyfriend for the first time after his slip up the other night. I talked to him the day after but he was still drunk so i don't really consider that "talking to him". I've heard from people who had seen him so I knew he was alive and actually they all said he didn't seem...

Irish7 · Irish7

I know there are some al anon folks here who also are AA members. If my question is inappropriate, please, moderator, close or delete it. But what I'm wondering is whether the active alcoholic is aware that they are causing spouses/children/parents to worry and agonize? Or is it that it just doesn't e...

ck78 · ck78

Hi there. I am a mother of two. My boyfriend and father to my daughter has relasped for the second time. I feel alone. Going on second day of him MIA. Last time he was gone a week. This is bigger than me, I am just looking for support.

texas yankee · texas yankee

90% of the very limited communication with my adult son lately has mostly been from me to him with an "I love you" text every other day or so, and that's about it - he's told me that any type of supportive message from me like "I have faith in you" annoys him, so I stopped with anything...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My ah is almost 90 days sober but has been very hard to deal with. Has anyone had a hard time with getting space to detach. I can detach with out a problem, really. But I have a hard time with the constant pity party. Today: I get several emails from my ah that he has to leave his job because he is an idiot that ca...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I am looking for closure from my marriage from my dry ah. He is not willing to be honest or upfront. I can't see that he has grown or changed since he started AA Three years ago. He is still not emotionally sober even after being dry for 30 years. The addict in him is alive and kicking. He has an AA Gf and show...

Cafeaulait1973 · Cafeaulait1973

Hi, my name is kris. I was raised in an alcoholic, abusive home and my mother remains with the abuser to this day(my step-father).i told myself that I would never put my kids through the abuse I went through as a child, I met my boyfriend 9yrs ago, he drank beer. He wasn't physically abusive and it took me a...

hopefull2015 · hopefull2015

Hi, I've been married 5 years and but living with my AH for about 10 years. I always knew he was a big drinker and for a long time I was too, we own a bar and it's easy enough to find yourself drinking more than you should. I all but cut out my own drinking and have been actively seeking out alternative employme...

AlmaDaigle · AlmaDaigle

Hello, I first posted a few days ago and got some really helpful responses, so here goes. Today I am feeling really paranoid that my husband was drinking last night. After I went to bed, he came in to say good night and check on me and our baby. His eyes looked red and he seemed a little off. He could have just...

shealah · shealah

Im pretty new to al anon. I went to my 3rd meeting tonight. I felt better when I left. When I came home, however, my fiance was drunk again. He got out of a 30-day inpatient rehab about 2 months ago and he has been drunk every day after the first week of getting out. Tonight he came to go bed and told me that I se...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning MIP: This reading begins with a comparison between choosing to ignore certain traffic rules in order to make our journeys a little shorter; taking some shortcuts and not following the suggested Traditions, guidelines and policies of Alanon. I am thinking about shortcuts and how in t...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

oohhhh. Acceptance stage. Im going to have to work through that some. Some of the feedback i recd about acceptance and expectations were spot on but hard to figure out. . In practice, in life. I need to process this mire. But right now to vent. My ah actually wonders why the tension level.goes up when he...

Katrina324 · Katrina324

Hello to all, I've been a way for a few weeks from posting, needed to clear my head about a lot of things. I still talk to my ex ABF on the phone, but it clearly isn't the same and I don't feel the way I used to about him. For all that don't know, I was involved with a man for a year and a half, and found out he was a he...

shealah · shealah

This is my first time posting on a board like this, but I could really use some words of wisdom and/or encouragement. I met my fiance almost 3 years ago. At the time he was a long distance truck drive and was home 3 nights a week, every Tuesday and Friday and Saturday. We fell in love so quickly...I was so...

hotrod · hotrod

The O D A T for today, February 23 speaks about my favorite subject; "Detachment". The reading goes on to explain that detachment, in the Al-Anon sense does not mean separating ourselves or our love and compassion from people. It simply means that we bring the focus back within ourselves...

Jerry F · Jerry F

So today is Sunday?? I got up and dressed for work!! What the heck...wife was still in bed and I looked at the calendar, Monday is President's Day and so being the rocket scientist I think I am at times I figured she had a holiday until she came into the kitchen and said with a smile, "Today is Su...

glad · glad

I was thinking today about the times my girlfriends had made sincere positive comments about who I was as a person. NOT flattery but they sincerely "liked" me. There are a lot of negative tapes in my head, poor me pity party stuff mostly from my childhood now but some from past alcoholic/ de...

GreenerGal · GreenerGal

I've been hovering around the board for awhile now, I just started attending Al-Anon in November and I'm getting really confused. My partner started out patient treatment and attending AA meetings 30 days ago. The majority of the time it's been really amazing and positive, but once in awhile he re...

To be loved · To be loved

So i have bee all over the place for the last two weeks. Partner away working and atto tide towards me changed which is again this 1%. He is being distant, hasnt said he loves me or misses me which he always usually does but asks what I want to do when he gets home, booming gig tickets and telling me to tell him...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi everyone. I have been struggling with my dry drunk who is about 90 days sober. My ah and I have been seeing a therapist and she said his behavior is normal and it will get better with time. First, Everytime a blow up happens I shut down. I am worried and anxious a lot because I never know when the nice guy or...

Auntrosie · Auntrosie

husband has been sober for almost two years And attends several meetings a week. I have been working alanine for 3 years. I am just so unhappy with myself. I just am not happy with my sober husband. I have everything I would ever need and want. On the outside we are the perfect family (kids are grown). I can...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Before you respond, know that i ask myself" why do you stay"" all the time so theres no need to go there. I just need some compassion. Ah never came home last nite. . It was supposed to be date night, (ha, i had a date with my empty house & a snowstorm). . he had all sorts of excuses. Igot u...

andromeda · andromeda

This topic came up in a meeting this week and I thought I would throw it out to the boards. What does surrender feel like to you? What does it look like in your life after being in program for a while?

hotrod · hotrod

Today's reading in the ODAT is a great reminder to every person who has been in program for some time. It points out that when we are attending an Al-Anon meeting we should always keep in mind that the newcomer in the room is feeling, lost, confused, alone and bewildered when they first enter a meeting....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Is it enabling? (Preview) Here's a question I haven't seen posed yet...is it enabling if you're helping your qualifier get to their AA meetings? Not offering to help, but if they are the one to ask? He's now out of the house but would like to come shower before going to his AA meeting in the morning. He's staying in his shop right...	GreenerGal	10	705	Mar 1, 2015 by shelbybaby
	March 1st ODAT - Humility (Preview) Todays reading is a good one. The idea of humility can be confusing, some people think of it as being submissive and a 'slave to my situation and accept everything that comes, however humiliating.' It talks about humility as 'not being meek surrender to an ugly, destructive way of life.' Its about sur...	el-cee	3	911	Mar 1, 2015 by karma13
	Therapist and 10 things I want in a relationship (Preview) my ah is 90 days sober. I have been posting how difficult he has been and went to our therapist to let her know how bad it has been. She said it sounds like his meds are not working and asked me when was he goin to see the psychologist, I said I didn't know (found out from ah April 2nd). I told her things had to cha...	Helpangel	13	614	Mar 1, 2015 by Mirandac
	It's not on my side of the street! (Preview) I recently overheard a story (gossip) about an alcoholic stealing something of about 10 thousand dollars value, from someone. It might be true, but it's already 2'nd hand by the time it gets to me and the person who told this story tells things like that all the time! anyway my point is prior to alano...	glad	1	555	Mar 1, 2015 by hotrod
	Alcoholic behavior or bad personality trait? (Preview) Sadly, I've become accustomed to my AH sneaking beers at inappropriate times. When I find the poorly hidden cans, I usually just throw them away and don't say anything since it will inevitably lead to an argument. Sometimes I will ask him not to put the cans in certain places, like behind the bed or i...	Smiley99	22	4852	Mar 1, 2015 by Robert Breen
	So angry I don't know what to do... (Preview) My husband lost his job today. He was drunk. At work. (He's been hiding it from me again, which is a whole different story.) I am beside myself. I don't know what to do. I don't know how we'll make ends meet now. I don't know how he'll get a new job. And I sure as heck don't know how I will deal with him at home....	HockeyMom25	15	894	Mar 1, 2015 by HockeyMom25
	Expectations (Preview) Confused about what I think and what I want, and hoping that writing about it will help. I have been working on a thesis for several years now. I have picked it up during good times (and when my department started to fuss) and have dropped it even more. I have not worked on it because of things going on in...	Skorpi	10	606	Mar 1, 2015 by hotrod
	Valid Criticism (closed) (Preview) New to this site, so I will really have tp get to know those of you who choose to converse with me on any given topic. Really connecting to people is important to me. I have 6 years of sobriety and long term experience working the 12 steps and going to AA meetings. I have a wonderful homegroup. I have bee...	Robert Breen	4	7091	Mar 1, 2015 by hotrod
	I'm preparing to make a stand. (Preview) So I'm seeing a lot of things differently in recent days and one of the big ones is My Daughter's Father. Daughter's Father was a drinking drugging specialist throughout high-school (we were friends) and throughout our later 8 year relationship and marriage. But he sobered up afterwards and someho...	missmeliss	5	788	Mar 1, 2015 by el-cee
	SHAKEN (Preview) Hi. I was googling "husband putting kids at risk" and I stumbled onto this group. Maybe someone here can give me some comfort, or ideas, or anything. My husband of 5 years is an alcoholic. My mom and dad are alcoholics, my first boyfriend, my best friend... all alcoholics. My husbands last...	Auriya	3	517	Mar 1, 2015 by Skorpi
	I ALMOST did it.... (Preview) I went to an Al-anon workshop this morning. (It was very good btw too short) I saw one of the people I plan to ask to be my sponsor there. I told her it had been a rough week but I've been working and that I had something i needed to talk to her about. Since she is the one who in our last very small meeting s...	ladybugnessa	5	481	Mar 1, 2015 by Skorpi
	at wits end (Preview) HELLO, I am not sure how to handle my boyfriends alcoholism. We are both in our late 40's. Throughout my adulthood I have done my share of drinking, was a bartender and have been exposed to but not been in relationships with people who have a drinking problem. so I am kind of lost here . He and I met thro...	tufntender	3	482	Feb 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	Another Newbie... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) well I'm not new to message boards but I'm new to this one. I am going to meetings locally but they are NOT resonating with me. I'm doing the readings but again they don't resonate. I've been to multiple groups and multiple meetings. I tend to leave the meetings ANGRY. how much time do I giv...	ladybugnessa	61	1404	Feb 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	Prescription Drug Addiction (Preview) My husband has an addiction to prescription meds. It began with benzodiazepines, which he was successfully weaned from, while missing six months of work. The dependency changed more recently to sleeping meds. He is a high functioning, high profile professional in our community, and no one in his w...	Belle7	5	1942	Feb 28, 2015 by Belle7
	i like this (Preview)	el-cee	2	394	Feb 28, 2015 by Fairlee
	the sneaky nature of the addict? (Preview) Hi everyone! I am still lurking around, learning and taking in information and thinking about y'all. I don't respond much because I have been so inconsistent in my program since before Christmas. It is so hard for me to get to a meeting (closest one is an hour away, at noon on weekdays) but that is my prob...	Fairlee	6	763	Feb 28, 2015 by Fairlee
	C2C 2-28 reading (Preview) The C2C reading for today speaks about faith and practicing the third step. It points out that both take time and practice. It suggests that the third step is an ongoing process. I know when I came in to the Al-Anon rooms, I was in a terrible crisis with no place else to go. I picked up the powerful tools...	hotrod	0	330	Feb 28, 2015 by hotrod
	ignoring my higher power (Preview) I am either very stubborn, in denial, tone deaf or a bit simple at times. Maybe all of it, at times, im not beating myself up, im aware and accept my doatyness, sometimes embrace it and play with it. Anyway, ive been feeling a bit eeeeeeoooooo, not really able to get my serenity, feeling that im upset or an...	el-cee	3	649	Feb 28, 2015 by hotrod
	Accepting my AH's affair (Preview) it's been 2 years and i get anxious and very sad when I envision him having sex with the another woman. we have gotten back together but I still dont trust him even though he is working very hard in AA, doing the steps and all. he has been sober for 1 year and is trying to change. i support him and congrtaualt...	lablover13	6	658	Feb 28, 2015 by lablover13
	Need some outside insight please (Preview) I am new to posting on this board. I have attended a couple of online meetings, but have yet to attend a f2f one. Working on that one. What I need is some insight since I realize my perception tends to be off lately on things. My 26 year old daughter is my A. She was living with me up until November when I b...	pamala	3	625	Feb 28, 2015 by GreenerGal
	maybe I am wrong but maybe I am right? (Preview) I don't know about y'all but these days I question whether I am wrong or right. But who cares anyhow? It is better to be happy than to be right all the time anyway. I am just grateful for the discussion not the argument. So much has to be done to improve my life. It just takes one thing to set off a good start of g...	Hoot Nanny	3	505	Feb 28, 2015 by GreenerGal
	drinking beer before an aa meeting (Preview) My af has been drinking nonstop for the last couple weeks. Last week came to a head when I finally called his parents and they took him home with them. Unfortunately, I let him come back home the next day, a decision which I totally regret......as he was drunk when he came back home early in the morning....	shealah	2	642	Feb 27, 2015 by Mirandac
	one day at a time (Preview) It's been more than a week since I found out the guy I was dating cheated. It's been hard not talking to him. He calls and texts me that he loves me and that it will never happen again...but Ive heard those lines before. Everytime I think I want to talk to him I remember the lady knocking crazy at the door and a...	texasgal	4	510	Feb 27, 2015 by karma13
	Was there and watched the miracle... (Preview) of the culture of giving, helping and I was sooo delighted to watch that I laughed at it happening. Needed to share this with my MIP family. I had to get to the VA clinic to get some support. While I was there I discovered that the parking lot was full for both the Hilo Hospital and the Va with the except...	Jerry F	4	677	Feb 27, 2015 by Jerry F
	ODAT 2-27 (Preview) The ODA T for today speaks about keeping the focus on ourselves and not trying to analyze why another person does what they do. Trying to figure out others is a waste of time and energy as it is more important to my recoverys to figure out why I do what I do. I can do that by keeping the focus on myself lo...	hotrod	4	524	Feb 27, 2015 by Jen61
	Hiding alcohol (Preview) My husband has had a problem with alcohol for a long time. I have been in denial about it until recently. We had been fighting a lot and I started to feel that the alcohol abuse was hurting our family. We have two very little girls and I finally decided that we needed to start addressing our problems. Rob we...	AlmaDaigle	19	977	Feb 27, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Alcoholic Temper-tantrum (Preview) Well, in a not so fantastic start to my day... I got up this morning, took care of the pets, made coffee, packed lunches, got breakfast, as usual. Brought my wife coffee and fruit for breakfast in bed, as usual. The dog stepped on her foot in excitement when he saw the fruit (he LOVES oranges!) and woke he...	Skorpi	26	5151	Feb 27, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	Boundaries this explains it... (Preview) In the beginning of my al-anon journey I struggled with the back and forth of really letting go of my exAh and had to learn boundaries were for me and my health. I really had trouble letting go and accepting I deserved better and healthier opportunities and until I let go, I held myself back. The steps, my...	Breakingfree	3	531	Feb 27, 2015 by Skorpi
	Newcomer Greetings (Preview) Hi Everyone, I really want to start to feel better. I felt that this program would be the place to start. My son is an addict. He doesn't think he is though. When he was in High School he began smoking pot, drinking alcohol and barely graduated. He went into outpatient treatment during that time. I believ...	oregongirl	5	994	Feb 26, 2015 by Jerry F
	Concern for my parents (Preview) I am rather new, but starting to get warmed up to the concepts of taking care of myself first. But here is my issue....My daugher is causing my 80 and 74 year old parents grief now. My 26 year old A daughter convinced them to let her live there while she attended outpatient rehab. She has an empty apar...	pamala	3	823	Feb 26, 2015 by Jerry F
	Dysfunctional Co worker ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hello all - it's been a long time. I started a new job in October and it's been so busy, it's construction and excellent experience. I just hired a student to help in the afternoons which is great. I need all your experience strength and hope. The President's 81 year old mother works there, she is just li...	mercedes1959	47	1629	Feb 26, 2015 by hotrod
	A tool I keep misplacing. (Preview) This seems to be what underpins my serenity, at this point in my life anyway. It's remembering to be in the NOW. I forget to do it all the time. I have been overwhelmed with tasks and stresses and worries in recent days and I realised, today, I was so agitated trying to "get through" everything...	missmeliss	8	610	Feb 26, 2015 by missmeliss
	Rejection (Preview) i keep struggling with rejection then hurt. My ah does something then that is my first feeling then hurt. i wish i could will it out of me. Maybe when the divorce is final and i am working steps 4 and 5 more heartily i wont feel those feelings about or from him. I can only pray for peace And serenity in sp...	Mirandac	6	852	Feb 26, 2015 by missmeliss
	C2C 2-26-2015 (Preview) I loved the reading in the C2C today. It talks about the shame that is buried deep within. This old shame is based on mistakes we've made, where we beat ourselves up for not being perfect.. This reading points out that we are human and that with alanon tools we can make amends for any harm. we might have d...	hotrod	2	458	Feb 26, 2015 by hotrod
	The Bill of Rights for Adult Children and Al-anoners (Preview) The Bill of Rights for Adult Children and Al-anoners! 1. I have the right to make choices besides the choice to merely run away. 2. I have the right to say No when I feel unready or unsafe. 3. I have the right to not be molested by fear. 4. I have the right to feel all my feelings. 5. I have the right to believe I a...	Breakingfree	5	857	Feb 26, 2015 by hopefull2015
	rainbows (Preview) I love rainbows	Cathyinaz	6	499	Feb 25, 2015 by Jen61
	1st talk after relapse (Preview) This morning I talked to my boyfriend for the first time after his slip up the other night. I talked to him the day after but he was still drunk so i don't really consider that "talking to him". I've heard from people who had seen him so I knew he was alive and actually they all said he didn't seem...	Cafeaulait1973	8	599	Feb 25, 2015 by Cafeaulait1973
	A question for the "double winners" (Preview) I know there are some al anon folks here who also are AA members. If my question is inappropriate, please, moderator, close or delete it. But what I'm wondering is whether the active alcoholic is aware that they are causing spouses/children/parents to worry and agonize? Or is it that it just doesn't e...	Irish7	15	1343	Feb 25, 2015 by Irish7
	New here (Preview) Hi there. I am a mother of two. My boyfriend and father to my daughter has relasped for the second time. I feel alone. Going on second day of him MIA. Last time he was gone a week. This is bigger than me, I am just looking for support.	ck78	12	754	Feb 25, 2015 by Cafeaulait1973
	When I'm wondering whether he's dead or alive . . . (Preview) 90% of the very limited communication with my adult son lately has mostly been from me to him with an "I love you" text every other day or so, and that's about it - he's told me that any type of supportive message from me like "I have faith in you" annoys him, so I stopped with anything...	texas yankee	10	825	Feb 25, 2015 by el-cee
	Detachment when they keep trying to pull on you (Preview) My ah is almost 90 days sober but has been very hard to deal with. Has anyone had a hard time with getting space to detach. I can detach with out a problem, really. But I have a hard time with the constant pity party. Today: I get several emails from my ah that he has to leave his job because he is an idiot that ca...	Helpangel	11	734	Feb 25, 2015 by pinkchip
	Closure (Preview) I am looking for closure from my marriage from my dry ah. He is not willing to be honest or upfront. I can't see that he has grown or changed since he started AA Three years ago. He is still not emotionally sober even after being dry for 30 years. The addict in him is alive and kicking. He has an AA Gf and show...	Mirandac	25	984	Feb 24, 2015 by Mirandac
	Newbie/my story/it's happened again (Preview) Hi, my name is kris. I was raised in an alcoholic, abusive home and my mother remains with the abuser to this day(my step-father).i told myself that I would never put my kids through the abuse I went through as a child, I met my boyfriend 9yrs ago, he drank beer. He wasn't physically abusive and it took me a...	Cafeaulait1973	4	618	Feb 24, 2015 by milkwood
	First post, very nervous! (Preview) Hi, I've been married 5 years and but living with my AH for about 10 years. I always knew he was a big drinker and for a long time I was too, we own a bar and it's easy enough to find yourself drinking more than you should. I all but cut out my own drinking and have been actively seeking out alternative employme...	hopefull2015	14	787	Feb 24, 2015 by milkwood
	Feeling Paranoid about Husbands Drinking (Preview) Hello, I first posted a few days ago and got some really helpful responses, so here goes. Today I am feeling really paranoid that my husband was drinking last night. After I went to bed, he came in to say good night and check on me and our baby. His eyes looked red and he seemed a little off. He could have just...	AlmaDaigle	3	711	Feb 24, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	How to detach (Preview) Im pretty new to al anon. I went to my 3rd meeting tonight. I felt better when I left. When I came home, however, my fiance was drunk again. He got out of a 30-day inpatient rehab about 2 months ago and he has been drunk every day after the first week of getting out. Tonight he came to go bed and told me that I se...	shealah	12	1127	Feb 24, 2015 by Jerry F
	Hope For Today Feb 24 (Preview) Good morning MIP: This reading begins with a comparison between choosing to ignore certain traffic rules in order to make our journeys a little shorter; taking some shortcuts and not following the suggested Traditions, guidelines and policies of Alanon. I am thinking about shortcuts and how in t...	yanksfan51	2	527	Feb 24, 2015 by Skorpi
	friendly venting (Preview) oohhhh. Acceptance stage. Im going to have to work through that some. Some of the feedback i recd about acceptance and expectations were spot on but hard to figure out. . In practice, in life. I need to process this mire. But right now to vent. My ah actually wonders why the tension level.goes up when he...	Theoceancalls	3	736	Feb 23, 2015 by hotrod
	Starting over isn't easy, I had a date with someone new last night. (Preview) Hello to all, I've been a way for a few weeks from posting, needed to clear my head about a lot of things. I still talk to my ex ABF on the phone, but it clearly isn't the same and I don't feel the way I used to about him. For all that don't know, I was involved with a man for a year and a half, and found out he was a he...	Katrina324	8	756	Feb 23, 2015 by pinkchip
	newbie (Preview) This is my first time posting on a board like this, but I could really use some words of wisdom and/or encouragement. I met my fiance almost 3 years ago. At the time he was a long distance truck drive and was home 3 nights a week, every Tuesday and Friday and Saturday. We fell in love so quickly...I was so...	shealah	10	546	Feb 23, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Thoughts on One Day At a Time reading for Monday 2-23-2015 (Preview) The O D A T for today, February 23 speaks about my favorite subject; "Detachment". The reading goes on to explain that detachment, in the Al-Anon sense does not mean separating ourselves or our love and compassion from people. It simply means that we bring the focus back within ourselves...	hotrod	2	606	Feb 23, 2015 by hotrod
	OH WOW!! (Preview) So today is Sunday?? I got up and dressed for work!! What the heck...wife was still in bed and I looked at the calendar, Monday is President's Day and so being the rocket scientist I think I am at times I figured she had a holiday until she came into the kitchen and said with a smile, "Today is Su...	Jerry F	5	592	Feb 23, 2015 by Cathyinaz
	A gratitude list in and of itself (Preview) I was thinking today about the times my girlfriends had made sincere positive comments about who I was as a person. NOT flattery but they sincerely "liked" me. There are a lot of negative tapes in my head, poor me pity party stuff mostly from my childhood now but some from past alcoholic/ de...	glad	1	655	Feb 23, 2015 by hotrod
	New here and have some questions about my newly sober partner (Preview) I've been hovering around the board for awhile now, I just started attending Al-Anon in November and I'm getting really confused. My partner started out patient treatment and attending AA meetings 30 days ago. The majority of the time it's been really amazing and positive, but once in awhile he re...	GreenerGal	6	773	Feb 23, 2015 by glad
	What is going on? (Preview) So i have bee all over the place for the last two weeks. Partner away working and atto tide towards me changed which is again this 1%. He is being distant, hasnt said he loves me or misses me which he always usually does but asks what I want to do when he gets home, booming gig tickets and telling me to tell him...	To be loved	11	860	Feb 23, 2015 by glad
	Therapist insight on dry drunk behavior (Preview) Hi everyone. I have been struggling with my dry drunk who is about 90 days sober. My ah and I have been seeing a therapist and she said his behavior is normal and it will get better with time. First, Everytime a blow up happens I shut down. I am worried and anxious a lot because I never know when the nice guy or...	Helpangel	15	665	Feb 22, 2015 by Jerry F
	Acceptance helpme please (Preview) husband has been sober for almost two years And attends several meetings a week. I have been working alanine for 3 years. I am just so unhappy with myself. I just am not happy with my sober husband. I have everything I would ever need and want. On the outside we are the perfect family (kids are grown). I can...	Auntrosie	8	545	Feb 22, 2015 by Jerry F
	need some tlc (Preview) Before you respond, know that i ask myself" why do you stay"" all the time so theres no need to go there. I just need some compassion. Ah never came home last nite. . It was supposed to be date night, (ha, i had a date with my empty house & a snowstorm). . he had all sorts of excuses. Igot u...	Theoceancalls	6	595	Feb 22, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	What are your thoughts on surrendering (Preview) This topic came up in a meeting this week and I thought I would throw it out to the boards. What does surrender feel like to you? What does it look like in your life after being in program for a while?	andromeda	10	1164	Feb 22, 2015 by pinkchip
	ODAT reading for 2-22 (Preview) Today's reading in the ODAT is a great reminder to every person who has been in program for some time. It points out that when we are attending an Al-Anon meeting we should always keep in mind that the newcomer in the room is feeling, lost, confused, alone and bewildered when they first enter a meeting....	hotrod	2	524	Feb 22, 2015 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.