The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have not been on the past few days!! I came to realize somethings and I can smile now!! I guess it could be considered an awakening!?!? I was given a book at my first f2f by a member who I think felt really bad for me cause I cried....OK balled the whole time!! I was ment to go there and he was ment to give me the book and I was ment to read the page!!!! I have tried to read the other daily pages but I keep coming back to the first page I read!!!! There is something that just speaks volumes to me!!!! It is my cure all....I guess you can say!! I felt SO much better after reading that page and the weight of the world I had resting on my sholders was GONE!!!! I ran to that page when I felt tention and read the serenity prayer....I almost have it memorized!!!! I felt GREAT!!!! I realized somethings to that day. I was able to separate myself from the delemah and understand WHY it was bothering me!! After I realized....I just laughed at myself!! How I could let something so little bother me....I needed to LET go!!!! The world wont fall apart if I DONT get my way!!!! It still stays the same!!!! I then had a epifany(sp??) I felt SO good about that I decided I was going to go to the book store and get one of those really pretty jornals that I like to tlook at but never buy cause "who keeps a journal/ diary?!?!" So I bought one and a nice pen and decided it was going to be my HAPPY book!! I wrote postivies and my thoughts I remembered from earlier. It made me smile to write them, made me ever happier to RE-read them!!!! I decided to do this so that when I am feeling down or bad I can read those thoughts and smile again!!!!
Life IS really like a road!! No matter how smooth or bumpy, straight or twisty, how many times I get lost or which lane I'm in, no matter what car I'm driving or if I'm walking....I WILL find my way to MY destination!! Like the song life is a highway....it really is!! Take an exit or a detour....sure I never know where it will lead, BUT then I never know if I dont try!! GOOD or BAD!! It is all part of the jorney!! If I dont like Pizza, dont stop at the Pizza place!!!! I control the desisions I make and which way to go!! I am letting MY HP help guide me back on the right track IF I get lost!!!! My HP is almost like a navigation system....sure I end up taking the scenic route....but maybe there was a 10 car pile up I miss cause of it!! I'm DRIVING my life....NOT letting life drive ME!!!!
I have yet to be able to make it to another f2f. But my husband and MIL talked and she admitted that she might need to go to AA vs. Alanon!! So that was a BIG step for her!! Her friend that was an A and is also in Alanon, said she knew and was taking her to all the alanon meetings as kind of a back door approach!! So things in my world are going good. I am OK with life, my husband is getting a handle on things and my MIL is right behind us picking up her peices!! I am looking a head enjoying the scenery!! I am not worring about tomorrow or yesterday!! I am worring about NOW!!!! :)
that's really wonderful (klynn)! i hope your miracle continues blossoming, and don't get discouraged if there is a set back... just keep coming back. much love cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
Thank god for those momeents of insight - they keep us going when it all seems dark again. Great idea to write it down, so when you need reminding, it's right there for you.
So glad to see things are looking better for you. Keeping a book of the good things is a great idea. I do a gratitude list. (same thing) Keep coming back. Keep taking care of you. Life can get better :)
